there really is no one size fits all when it comes to dating. that’s why it’s important to pay attention to your intuition and your spirit. you have to learn to trust yourself and be in a place where you can tell what is and isn’t right for you. you know better than anyone else whether or not the relationship can and will work. yes, you can listen to your instincts and get blind sighted when the person you love and trust hurts you. but even in that situation, you have to know what’s best for you so you know if you should stay or go. so much of dating is just knowing who you are and what you want and what you deserve. no one can give you that instinct but you. 

Ty, amab

Not too long ago, I sat up all night thinking and wandered back through my high school memories and being generally nostalgic, but looking back drew everything into the same line, and I started researching. Thanks to the wonders of the internet, it only took me one night to find something that fit what i had felt all my life, but never registered until now. Im amab, but have always been a bit more feminine, but found a group of friends in school that were all different and flourished on it, so i never really had to think about what made me different to much, because it hadn’t been an issue yet.

As I looked, stumbled across the demigenders, and decided on demifluid. In researching, you don’t really realize the size of any particular group, and as I tried to find blogs and people to follow so I could learn more about this, I found that I had made my way into the smallest corner in the demi umbrella which seems to be the smallest in the nb umbrella which seems to be the smallest in the trans umbrella which is fairly small in the lgbt community. (None of this is necessarily true, just what it felt like coming into it)

I accepted that that’s where i’d decided was what I was, and it was time to get into it, so i started making edits and art and posts to join into the small community. I started thinking about more nb attributes, by name (Tyler) is pretty easy to shorten and leave it a bit more androgynous, but as i looked, almost any picture, story blog, or forum talked about how to look more androgynous for afab. It’s turned into making male style clothes for afab bodies and then since it’s a male style and
they might be binding and they have short hair so they look more in between since the still have a different facial/body structure, etc. So what am I supposed to do as an amab trying to look more androgynous? I’d still just look male!

I still haven’t found much, and I’m kind of broke so even the styles I do find will take a while to gather, so I’m still looking for the answer to my question. How can i be more androgynous as an amab without a ton of make up and hormones?

anonymous asked:

Looking at all the maps of Westeros we've seen, there are a lot less castles than one might expect (considering the size of the continent). Do you think we only see the bigger castles and, if so, what is the cut-off point at which the castles are considered too small to not be included? Would these smaller keeps all be run by masterly houses like the Glovers or how would they fit into the feudal system present in the books?

I wouldn’t necessarily say we only see the bigger castles - I think we’re mostly given the castles that have been mentioned in the text, and even then they generally don’t map all but the most frequently mentioned. 

An interesting point of reference here would be to compare the Riverlands in the official Lands of Ice and Fire to say, Ser Mountain Goat’s “speculative map”:

The sheer density of the latter compared to the former speaks for itself. 


We’ve gotten a first look inside one of the new stages–Musselforge Fitness. This state of the art work out facility contains a bouldering gym, a regulation-sized pool, and all the treadmills you could ever want. Judging from our research, today’s Inklings are foregoing the calisthenics and aerobics for more back-to-basics, iron-puming workouts.

Workout (m)

inspired by this particular gif (credit to @/natka9721)

i swear this boy is out to kill all of us but stay strong just like that last button on his shirt 

Rated M 

Word Count: 3469

Jeongguk x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: Jeongguk’s under strict instructions not to work out because it’s eating into the wardrobe budget and causing one too many malfunctions. As his stylist, you’re responsible for making sure he fits into his stage outfits, but when his urge to workout is unstoppable, you’re left with only one other choice to save your job.

The situation is dire, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be aware of even an inkling of your desperation as you run your hands over his chest frantically.

“Damn it Jeon Jeongguk, did you work out again? I literally just replaced all the dress shirts in your stage outfits with a size up just last week! And Jungyeon unnie will kill me if I tell her your blazer needs to be altered, again. Didn’t manager Sejin tell you that you weren’t allowed to work out anymore??”

He doesn’t seem to be listening to your mini rant as he checks himself out in the mirror behind you, admiring the smokiness of the eyeshadow smudged on his lids, and running a finger along the sharp crease of his jaw before adjusting the mic headset around his ear.

You give his nipple a sharp pinch and he yelps in response. He has the decency to look a little guilty as he shifts his gaze to your face, and fiddles with his bottom lip in hesitation.

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Why build a tiny house instead of buying existing small house or trailer?

The biggest reason for me is creative empowerment.

There are so many things we aren’t in control over. But one of them, if you have some money put aside, is your shelter. There’s something incredibly validating about building my own shelter.

If you think about it, how many things do you create on a daily basis, vs consume? How much of your individualized potential is being expressed in your daily life, vs molded by others?

So many of us wake up in beds designed for the masses, wearing one size fits all PJs, grabbing our push-button coffee out the door on the way to our increasingly commoditized jobs in the car with the “best reviews”.

Best not become unemployed or you’ll lose access to your pharmaceutically manufactured pills. That would make the CEOs very angry.

I sleepwalked through 3 years of consumption before I finally realized I’m not even participating in my own life!

In my house, everything is exactly how I want. And if it’s not, I’ll have intimate knowledge how to change it.

Solar power, heated floors, loft speakers, enclosed shower, four-burner range… Hell a garden in my living room if I so desire. I can have it all in 150 sq ft. for about $30,000. And go anywhere with all that too. And no one can evict me or foreclose on it.

My dear lgbt+ children, 

Many messages i get on this blog are things like “My family says homophobic things but i’m still in the closet, i don’t know what to do”,

My best friend uses transphobic slurs but how do i tell her that it hurts me without telling her i am trans? I can’t come out yet” 

or other variants of “How to react to lgbt+-phobia when still in the closet?”. 

I’ve been planning to write a letter that answers this question for a while now - but to be honest, i postponed it because it’s a difficult situation to be in and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. There’s not the one golden perfect solution to it. 

Instead, i’ll suggest several different possible solutions as you know your own situation and your family member/friend/the person better than i do. 

Without further bla bla, here’s the list: 

Possible ways to react to lgbt+-phobia when you’re in the closet: 

Example: Person says “I would never date a bi girl, they’re cheaters” 

Educate neutrally: “Bi means you’re attracted to two or more genders, it has nothing to do with faithfulness”, state a neutral fact that dismantles the lgbt+phobic statement without talking about yourself at all

May work best if: the person is indeed just uneducated about lgbt+ topics (rather than downright hateful), is okay with being proven wrong, is not overly suspicious of why you defend lgbt+ people (in case them finding out you are lgbt+ would put you in danger)

Play the “good straight ally” card: “That’s not true, one of my friends is bi and she would never cheat”, out yourself as a supporter rather than a member of the lgbt+ community 

May work best if: the person doesn’t know all your friends/you can easily make up a friend, the person is one of those people who stop being hateful as soon as their victim has a face 

Ignore and change the topic: “Talking about cheating, have you seen the movie You’ve got mail? It’s a romantic comedy, Sarah said it’s really cute but i didn’t watch it yet.”, say nothing in response to the lgbt+-phobia and try to steer the conversation to nicer topics

May work best if: they are too deep down in their hateful views for any of the above strategies to work, defending lgbt+ people would put you in danger

Avoid the person: This is less of a instant response but more a long-term solution that can only work in some cases. Break off the friendship (maybe gently and slowly by spending less and less time with the person). 

Only works if: you don’t depend on them (sadly this doesn’t work with parents you still live with or co-workers in a job you can’t quit)

May be necessary if: their lgbt+ phobia negatively impacts your mental health

Agree and silently think “F*ck you”: “Yeah, i understand!”, just agree and keep your thoughts to yourself

This is a painful thing to do and can certainly negatively impact your mental health but it may be necessary if: them finding out or even getting suspicious puts you in danger

Do you have any other advice? Feel free to add your thoughts/experiences to this post! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

This is America we speak English here.

(warning: long story)

I just discovered this sub so I hope my story fits here.

This story begins when I was a freshman in HS. After school on most weekdays I would walk to my uncle’s house to babysit my little cousin. My cousin was about 2 or 3 years old at the time and liked to go to the public park that was directly in front of my uncle’s house. It was a simple park, about the size of a football field with a playground in one corner and the rest being all grass. One particular day my cousin is begging me to go to the park so I take him.

For a while we were the only ones there. My cousin was too scared to go down the slide from the top by himself so I was picking him up and letting him slide from about half way. He was having a great time and laughing. Soon a lady comes up with her daughter and they start playing on the swing set. Well, the lady was sitting on the bench and her daughter was trying to play on the swing set.

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We’ll go ahead and add this to the top of our stocking stuffer list THIS holiday season!

Spilling your bottle of nail polish while painting your nails can be one of the small banes of every polish-lovers existence. Lucky for men and the 71% of women who polish, entrepreneurs Liz and Mark have created a tool that eliminates that problem… with style!

Meet Tweexy: the one-of-a-kind spill-proof, wearable nail polish bottle holder which fits all finger sizes. Tweexy is a soft and flexible one-piece beauty staple that makes polishing nails easier.

Tweexy’s innovative ring simplifies the polishing process by eliminating the need for a flat surface to place your polish on. When you wear the Tweexy, you can seize every last drop of polish just by naturally tilting your hand. See Tweexy in action here! Built to fit bottles of all sizes, the ring also features two finger holes for optimum stability and a flexible hole to keep your polish sturdy.

It really is the little things that make the biggest difference. Grab your own Tweexy now over at

One Size Does Not Fit All

Don’t be against monogamy. Don’t be against polyamory. Do not try to make some judgment call on which relationship style is more realistic. Be against unhappy relationships. Be against settling. Choose what is right for you personally, and accept that what works for you may not work for someone else. We are all different and one size does not fit all.

In light of the Women’s March on Washington, I’d like to take a moment to address why intersectionality is crucial to these pivotal moments of social change. This goes beyond the march obviously, but a common sentiment being circulated is that “separatist identity politics” are dividing what should be a positive unified movement for women in general. Here’s the thing: there is no unified women’s experience.

A call for union that fails to highlight the individualized experiences of women at different intersections of oppression is a call for women who don’t meet the standard of privilege to be silent.

There cannot be a one-size-fits-all solution to misogyny and institutionalized sexism because it crops up in countless specific ways depending on where one lies in social hierarchy.

That said, if you see the highlighting of the struggles of more marginalized women as “exclusionary identity politics,” I need you to think about what your activism is hoping to achieve. If the women of color fighting the unique oppression specific to them is a “divisive force” that “takes away from the message of the movement” then your movement is not only useless to women of color but also only serves as another stepping stone for white women to gain more power that is then used against women of color – as history has repeated again and again.

Please remember that:

while white women in the US secured the right to vote in 1920, they disenfranchised black women further with segregationist policy, and black women were still fighting to vote until the 1960s.

while rich women fought to for access to work in the late 40s, poor women were (still) being forced into hard labour in unsafe conditions away from their homes just in order to live.

while straight women were battling the “problem that has no name” in their toxic domestic marriages, lesbian women were battling to be able to marry.

while cis women fight for reproductive rights, trans women are fighting to be seen as women at all.

while privileged women seek to break the glass ceiling, more marginalized women hope to survive. This goes on and on. All of these plights are compelling and important, but some of them are more dire than others – for some marginalized women, many are literally a matter of life or death.

I stress: if recognizing this difference is divisive, then your idea of solidarity is wild.

I am not looking to unify with women who uphold the oppression of other marginalized women. A call for unity without justice is a call for another institution that throws our most vulnerable under the bus. So, no, I’m not looking to get buddy buddy with a woman who voted for Trump.

sisterhood of the traveling pants au but in this case the traveling pants are jonas’ red snapback that all the boys end up borrowing at some point and it’s actually not surprising that the snapback fits them all because snapbacks are one size fits all and also no one actually travels anywhere, so it’s basically just…the brotherhood of the shared snapback

Cassandra Pentaghast Under Shirt & Vest

This is for the anon who asked about the undershirt (and vest) for my Cassandra cosplay! Again, I am not great at explaining so here are more pictures! Luckily, I took quite a few of my progress! :)

For Cassandra’s undershirts, I did a long sleeve shirt (top right photo) and a vest with pointed sleeves (bottom right). I had to start with the undershirt first so that I could figure out both the vest and the armour, and how they all looked layered on top of one another. I do most of my patterning from scratch but I am sure there are quite a few patterns out there that work as a base to start with. I always do mock-ups with cheap fabric first to make sure the fit/size is right - which you can see in the first pictures below!

I wanted the look of Cassandra’s ‘seamless’ collar (top left & right), so I added front panels and facings to my undershirt with the seams for the collar only on the shoulders and back (where the seams would be hidden). The brown collar straps (bottom left) are sewn into one of the side collar seams and then wrapped around the neck and closed with snaps. The brown straps are also tacked down so they stay in place. The white strap behind is just tacked down and stuck in place with velcro. The shirt is closed with a simple zipper and hook and eye (bottom right) which you can’t see once the whole costume is on.

The sleeves were one of the hardest parts of the costume for me. I wanted to imitated the look of leather stitching on the sleeve seams (top left) but since the arms are an area with lots of tension and my base fabric has some stretch to it, I used wide flat elastic so I would be able to move my arms and so it wouldn’t pull. Next, I had to do the criss cross straps on the arms (top right & bottom left). This part was basically a lot of trial and error of getting the straps to sit flat and not move around too much while wearing them but still having movement in my arms. The undervest (bottom right) was pretty simple; using a raglan style sleeve and stiff fabric I was able to get the pointed shoulders to sit nicely. (I found the quilted purple fabric and HAD TO use it even though no one would actually see it as part of the costume. :P) The collar was made with the same purple as the undershirt and a thick interfacing + batting to make it stand up on its own. I finished the vest with lining and raw edge bias binding and the front is closed using a leather cord and grommets.

Here are a couple of extra details. Back of undervest (top left), adding grommets to the arm straps (top right), elbow patch on sleeve (bottom left), pointed shoulder detail on vest with studs and stitching (bottom right).

You can also find my Cassandra Pentaghast Breastplate & Backplate Armour Mini ‘Tutorial’ HERE and also some costume close-ups HERE!

Thanks so much for your questions and comments!