It pains me that you’re not hurting as much as i am. It pains me that you’re already thinking about the next person you’ll fall in love with while i’m still trying to put my heart back together and it pains me, it kills me, to see you being okay. Because i am not okay. I am in pain, i am heartbroken, sad, angry, hurt: I thought I found it. The great love everyone talks about, i thought that was you. And when it all fell apart; When i was fighting so hard to pretend like nothing bothered me, when i was trying to make myself believe that we could work this out, it was already crumbling down. The walls of the home i thought we’d share, the ring around my finger i so desperatly wanted because i wanted to be yours forever, the pictures on the wall that were yet to be taken. 
You cannot fix a broken dream. You can only start over and that’s what i’ll do but for now, it’s too soon. So you move on, pretend like you don’t care about our love that was lost: I’ll be here, trying to put my heart back together.

princessanniecat asked:

hi there! sorry to bother you, but i was curious as to how your website was made and who is it hosted through? i'm looking to update my own art blog/website, and i'd love to have some guidance from someone with as beautiful of a website as you have! thank you very much!

Hi! Thanks for the message! I fully customised my own site by using To design it you can use basic templates and fix it to how you imagine by ‘drag and drop’, so no coding needed! It’s a life saver when you’re just an ordinary person and have no idea how to code (me lmao). Also it’s free until you want a customised domain and remove the ad. It’s quite easy to follow. Hope I helped a little bit! 

anonymous asked:

Just letting you know that in that last bulldog vine you tagged it "bullsog". Didn't know if you knew that. Just wanted to point it out. I hope I'm not being a bother.

ohhh haha thanks for telling me! you’re not being a bother at all, i really do appreciate when people help me fix my typos and whatnot, so thank you!!

edit: HAHA not only did i write “bullsog”, but i also wrote “french bullsog” oh my gosh

handwriting tag ✏

tagged by: @markbutton (who btw, has freaking AMAZING HANDWRITING, *cries* diana you’re always #goals)

i’m tagging (and it’s optional): @holyfuckmark, @huggableyoungjae, @igot7angels, @seoullama@got7europe and @got7jacksonwang

Zombies Ate My Homework

Title: Zombies Ate My Homework
Author: shipperluv
Rating: K
Summary: That video game at Farkle’s house got something started…
Warnings: Inexplicit zombie guts. And fluff
Author’s Note: From the little bit of searching I did, I’m relatively certain that Zombies Eat Your Brains is not a real game. That being the case, I took a lot of liberties with the gameplay. And please keep in mind that my gaming knowledge is somewhat limited, so if you see any glaring errors that I’ve made, feel free to point them out to me so I can fix them. And in other news, I am officially unable to write a short fic.

Unlocking the apartment door, Lucas swung it inward, then held it open for Riley. “My mom should be home in about half an hour, so we won’t be bothered until then.”

Accepting the news with a nod, Riley entered the apartment, her fingers locked a little nervously around the strap of the bedazzled backpack hanging over her shoulder. They hadn’t been completely alone like this since they’d all come back from Texas. They’d all adjusted to the changes in their relationships in the months since then, so it wasn’t like she was afraid to be alone with Lucas or anything, they were only friends. But somehow they weren’t exactly the same as they’d been before their unofficial thing became officially over. Their one-on-one interactions didn’t seem to be as easy as before.

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Dear Hair Diary #4

I wish we would stop stressing about our imperfections. One thing that has always bothered me was when someone would continuously stress over a bald spot. It’s a good thing that they are trying to fix it, but it’s bad that they stress so much over it. White women and women of other races have those temple balding spots just like we do. I think we are programmed to notice it on others who look like ourselves much easier though.

Just today I was looking at a fitness video and one of the 3 white women doing the workout had a bald spot right in the infamous temple area. And she had her hair up in a ponytail out of her way while she worked out. And this woman was in front of the camera, it’s not like she was hiding in the back of the room or anything. 

In short, if you have an imperfection, it’s OK. Try to find out why that imperfection is there and attempt to manage the problem. But don’t hide it while acting like it’s the greatest shame in the world.

It’s OK.

exciting anxiety things

this past week i:

-called my bank and talked about something that was bothering me and it went really well and they took care of it

-called a certain postal service because they were sending my package back and forth between post offices for days and it never got to me and we took care of it

-after a month of my internet consistently going out every 20 minutes, i called my internet provider and got it fixed

-tomorrow i’m calling the vet to talk about my lil baby bird

SO MANY PHONE CALLS. phone calls (especially confrontational calls) are usually a huge anxiety trigger for me so it’s a big deal ok

i still haven’t played the hoenn remakes, if I’m honest. that’s how hard X and Y burned me out on mainline Pokemon games in general.

I’ve heard that ORAS does enough different from the originals in terms of story to justify a purchase even if you played the hell out of Hoenn and fixes the performance issues that X and Y had but i just can’t be bothered to try to play a Pokemon game that uses the same battle formula as X and Y

Pokemon’s battle mechanics NEED to change. They’re so bare-bones and so far behind any other JRPG on the market, even ones marketed towards kids. There’s a reason Yokai Watch has been outselling Pokemon in Japan, and it’s because those games change things up regularly, have fun battle mechanics, have engaging stories, and they run well.

Everything I’ve heard about Digimon Cybersleuths sounds like people are just making lists of everything I want in a Pokemon game. Someone said “If you like SMT you’ll like this game” and dude, I love SMT. I’ve been thinking about buying it, but money’s a bit tight for me right now so I can’t go spending like crazy, not to mention I’ve got a backlog as long as my arm. I at the very least want to finish Gravity Rush Remastered before I start a new game, much less buy a new one.

anonymous asked:

i hope u dont mind me asking, but i just got the matsu game and i dont understand how it works at all ;; could u please explain it to me ;; i rly hope its not a bother tho

not a bother at all, dw!! i’ll do my best to try to explain it the best i can. my japanese is limited and i might miss some stuff, so i’m sorry in advance!

if anyone wants to correct this guide, please let me know so i can fix it!

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Egobang fluff

~i feel like it’d be cute to have Dan messing with Arin during intense moments in games just to see him struggle~

“Hey welcome back–”

“Hey my sweet babies how you doin’?” Dan interjects smiling at the mic. “So, we’re still on this godforsaken level Mario Maker. Hey Arin, when are you gonna beat this?”

The younger grump laughs and then takes on an “offended” tone “Gosh Dan! This level is Hard!”

“So am I”

“Oh I can tell, Dan.”

Danny giggles “Seeing you try to beat this level gets me a bit hot and bothered”

“No it’s just hot in here.”

“Oh yeah hahaha the A/C is broken and we’re waiting for that to get fixed so now the grump room smells like hot ass and beer. Thanks Ross.”

“Yeah Ross left a ton of shit in here this morning like a asshole.” Arin mutters as he stomps a gumba.

“Oh woah Arin you’re really close!”

Danny watched the screen intently as his co-host was nearing the last portion of the level. The little pixelated character jumps from platform to platform above orange and red lava waves the end flag just appearing on the edge of the screen.

“You can really do this Arin!”

“I’m gonna. I just gotta get over there. But that big ass thwomp is in my way…”

Danny smirks as he watches as his friends brow furrows with concentration. The glow from the TV makes his features glow orange in the dim light of the Grumps recording room. He scoots a bit closer to Arin. He is on the last jump of the level when Danny makes his move.

The taller man leans over and quickly plants a small kiss on Arins cheek.

“Woah Dan!! I was SO CLOSE oh my god did you just KISS me THAT CLOSE to the end of a level?!”

“Lil bit.” Dan grins “are you mad at me” Danny shyly smiles and bats his eyelashes.

“Well– I dunno Dan! I was so close…but. Man…” He leans toward the camera and shuts it off. “I- I’m not Mad..” The smaller grump blushes and presses his damp palms onto his legs. “I almost had it.”

“Awe man I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool dude. I didn’t hate it..”


“Do it again”

“Dude don’t be gay.” Danny teased.

“Daaan” Arin pleads.

Danny sets his hands on Arins thigh and leans toward the younger man. Arin looks into Dan’s dark eyes. The tall man brushes the others hair off from his face and behind his ear leaning closer and closer until their noses are touching.

“You sure about this Big Cat?” The older man inquires.

“Yeah man just kiss me.”

Dan leans in and presses his lips gently against Arins. They slowly draw eachother into an embrace. Danny kisses Arins lips and then his chin, trailing down to his neck. Arin drags his hand up the man’s back and into his wild mane. Danny nips at the soft skin of his best friends neck.

“Oh man…this is so much better than I had imagined.” Arin moans.

Daniel pulls back and looks at the boys blushing face.

“You’ve imagined this?”

Arin goes five shades redder than he already is.

“Well–uh. No. Not this exactly..I mean the way we talk on the show…gets a guy thinking.”

“Thinking about us?”

“Well yeah man. You’re a Hot Jew. How is a guy supposed to get his mind off of you?”

Throwing my hair up into a high bun while sauntering out of my room, I jog down the stairs, fixing a few stray hairs that are bothering me as I walk into the kitchen, twisting my lips to the side as I open up the fridge, dipping my head down to look inside, reaching for grapes and pineapples before grabbing a bowl to them in, taking out a few pineapple chunks and putting them in my bowl before taking a couple of grapes off of the vine and tossing them in the bowl, shaking them together so the juices mix, grabbing a bottle of water and taking them into the living room after putting the containers back in the fridge and sitting down on the couch, crossing my legs indian style and sitting my bowl in my lap, starting to eat.

Dear husband,

I know in order to fix things with you, I need to stop being so angry.  And I’ve been working to get at what the root of my anger is.

Here’s the thing, Beverly had it wrong.  She said I have a sensitivity to abandonment, but that’s not it, it’s not being abandoned that upsets me.  I can handle being abandoned.  What bothers me is the feeling of helplessness that can accompany being abandoned.  And I think I finally see what triggers my anger.  It’s how I respond to feeling helpless.

It all leads back to feeling helpless.  That night in Vegas, I felt helpless to stop what was happening.  And when you told me that Vegas happened because of something that occurred over ten years ago, I felt helpless.  I felt like I had tried so hard for ten years to build something, and it was useless.  I was helpless.

When I was left here with no front door and no way to protect myself, it was the ultimate feeling of helplessness.  Remember the fight we had, where we could actually see me become flooded on my fitbit?  I had asked you to specifically not do something, and you immediately did it anyway.  Helpless.

I respond in anger because, let’s be honest, anger is powerful.  My father told me this over and over again growing up, that sometimes the only way to get things done is to get pissed off.  Unfortunately, I have a hard time handling my rage in an age appropriate manner, at least when it comes to you and me.  I’m working on that.

But I think this is also why “working on things hasn’t worked.”  It keeps being framed as something I have to do.  I have to forgive you.  I “have to find a way to be with each other, for the kids.”  The Saturdays with no escape, time that had to be spent on working on things, even when I was too upset to be constructive.  It never addressed my feelings of helplessness.  It did the opposite.  By making reconciliation mandatory, I once again was helpless - I had no say over my fate and made it so I had to endure this marriage whether I wanted to or not.

And the whole thing made me mad.  My decision to stay home with the kids is one of voluntary helplessness.  No income, no money, no power, at least out in the world.  I agreed to it because I trusted that the world’s power dynamic would not enter our marriage.  But when all this happened, and you refused to leave, and I couldn’t leave, I was awash in feelings of helplessness.  

And I suppose it came out as anger instead.  It’s easier to be angry.  Because admitting to this feeling of helplessness just makes me feel more vulnerable.  And if you try to fix my feelings of helplessness, then my self-efficacy becomes something that you bestow upon me, and then it isn’t real.  

I think in some ways, we’ve been going at this the wrong way.  I kept on looking at you to fix it.  So you’d expend all this effort, then wait for me to have the appropriate response, and I’d feel small, and petty for not having the right response.  I’ve spent much of our marriage feeling like we’re on opposing teams, and then much of the past year feeling powerless against you.  I appreciate the last two weeks, because you’ve given me room.  I can’t reach toward you, if I feel like my arms are pinned down & broken, you know?

I don’t know what else to say, except that I I’m sorry for my ugly displays of anger, when I was caught in a rage I didn’t understand.  I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I’m hoping we can at least begin to talk again.