I was traveling over the weekend and My mom called Monday morning sounding frantic and unhinged. I panicked. Turns out she thought she missed out on the Reunion episode.
Here’s the convo, which rudely woke me up at 5am Monday morning. Ringggggggg, ringgggggg, ringggggg (note to self: change ringing tone):
Me: What? What happened? Are you ok? What’s wrong??
Mama: I missed it. I MISSED IT!!!!!
Me: What? Missed what?? Missed who you mean?
Mama: When red penis meets curly haired vangina. That episode when they see each other again after stupidly suffering for twenty years.
Me: (Scratches head and fully awake now. And annoyed). You mean Outlander? Jamie and Claire?
Mama: Who else? This grief and mourning slump is killing me. I am up to date with all the seasons and I can’t believe I miss THE episode.
Me: You didn’t miss it. It is coming up this week. Don’t you get the emails or whatever that STARZ spams customers with?
Mama: Your aunt gets it, not me. Yeeeeeeeeehawwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have not missed red penis and curly haired vangina.
Me: MAMA!!!! MOM!!!! It’s 5am.
Mama: Love, sex and intimacy are timeless.
Mama: Can we watch the episode together??
ME. GOODNIGHT. The answer is still NO. NEVER. WILL NEVER HAPPEN. Goodnight.