People ask me all the time why I’m so afraid of falling in love. I’m afraid because I don’t want to fall so insanely hard for a person only for them to leave me like I never meant a damn thing. I’m afraid that no matter how many sweet things I say or do, it just won’t be good enough. I’m afraid that after kissing me goodbye they are going to go off and kiss somebody else hello. I’m afraid of falling deeper in love with someone everyday while they are falling out of love everyday. I’m afraid of the pain that comes with heartbreak. I’m afraid to deal with the countless nights of crying and endless questions wondering where everything went wrong. I’m so terrified of the concept of love but no matter how great my fear is I always let myself fall, I fall every damn time.

August 12th 2015 the love of my life Shariek Douse was shot in the head and killed instantly while in his own neighbourhood. The amount of violence that is going on is not right and it needs to end before someone else loses the who meant so much to them. I never could have prepared for this. I lost my best friend, my soul mate and the only person who made me truly happy in life. I am in such a great deal of pain and what makes it harder is knowing we cannot afford the funeral. Please reach out and find it in your heart to even donate a dollar, it will go a long way! CLICK HERE if you are interested in donating…& please just spread the word I would appreciate it so much❤️❤️❤️


This is going to seem crazy, but hear me out.
In ‘Gem Drill’, what if, upon seeing the Cluster, Steven was coming undone like Garnet almost did the first time they encountered a fusion monster?
What if Steven almost ceased to be?
Essentially, Steven is a fusion of Rose and Greg’s DNA. I think that whatever is left of Rose inside of him, horrified at what Homeworld had done to her fallen army, was panicking, out of sync. Steven was in a great deal of pain, but luckily passed out, enabling him to communicate with the Cluster before he came undone.


Today is Transgender Day of Visibility. Exactly one year ago I was dealing with incredibly confused feelings about my gender. Now here I stand, sure of myself and of who I want to be. I have a new name, a new attitude, and a new outlook on life. Being trans is incredibly difficult and often causes me great pain. But this is my life and my body and I will love it and live with it. I am trans. I am a man. I am proud. I am grateful for all those that have come before me, and look forward to the future.

Wonder Woman on her ‘invisible jet’ at Flame Con, NYC’s first LGBT comic convention! Thanks to Christine for the photo, and a big thanks to everyone who shared or contributed to my GoFundMe to get a mobility scooter. My disability is permanent and invisible, so even if you see me standing and walking, my status hasn’t changed. I am in a great deal of pain every single day, and my mobility scooter helps me to get around. I use it at work and everywhere else. It’s made a huge difference in my life. Thank you all so much for helping me to still be a superhero <3 

Jay Justice

     “My sister was murdered by her abusive husband 30 years ago. They were together for nine years, but nobody knew what was going on until right before she died. He was an alcoholic, and drugs were involved in her death. Before he called an ambulance, he called his friends to come get the drugs out of the house. They had to walk over her body to get the drugs out.
     “It was a very difficult experience to deal with, but it also brought a lot of positive changes to my life. There’s a history of abuse in our family lineage. It shook me hard enough that my life took a completely different direction afterward. It got me healthier: I got sober, and left my own abusive relationship. I left him at my sister’s funeral. I started doing artwork and energy healing. I got married, had kids, and they’re great. I work with horses. Her death radically changed my life. But it was painful for years, and I saw my sister as a victim. I didn’t see how she might have made the choice to try to break our family’s cycle of abuse. But I believe she did. She sacrificed herself.”

Siesta Key, FL


anonymous asked:

How do you know when you love someone? Romantic love, I mean...

You know, people are always so concerned with this allusive ‘definition of love’ and whether you ‘love someone’ or not.

So before anything else, let me ask you this: can you honestly say you LIKE them?

Can you say you like the way they laugh, or their silly voice? Can you say you like them when they disagree with you or when they’re hurt or sad or in pain? Can you say you like their sleepy face or the books they prefer to read; can you accept their political opinions and their views on life or religion or philosophy?

Look, we romanticize love such a great deal and make it all about beating hearts and ocean eyes etc. But in truth love is nothing if you don’t LIKE the person first.

If you are with your best friend, and you can tell them anything; if you are with your confidant, who you can express your anxieties to; if you are with a clown - a comedian, who can make you laugh until your sides hurt, that’s what is important. Love is just a silly word that we use to describe an indescribable feeling. Do not be so concerned with it.


How To Relieve Post-Workout Strain, Tired Muscles & Overall Stress

Free People writes:

We all live with our own aches and pains. A twinge here, a pulled muscle there. Some of us more than others. Personally, I look upon the able-kneed with a great deal of envy, my own lower joints nearly spent after years of cross country running, skiing, snowboarding, track, lifting and general living of life. You’d think that, after two decades of dealing with joint pain and flareups, I would have learned by now how to take the time for a little self care post-workout. Learning to slow down can be a slow process, but a new workout routine this fall led me to discover my latest obsession, one that’s put an entirely new spin on restorative post-gym recovery: Epsom salt soaks.

Now, I’ve never been much of a bath person, always preferring the speed and efficiency of showers over a long soak, but Epsom salts are truly a cure all and worth, well, sitting around in a tub for. Contrary to the name, Epsom salt is not actually a salt at all, but a naturally occurring mineral compound made up of magnesium and sulfate. These two materials (a chemical element and a polyatomic anion, respectively) are readily absorbed through the skin, reducing inflammation, aiding in the absorption of nutrients, easing migraines and flushing toxins from the system (to name but a few of their many benefits). Along with soothing tired, achy muscles and reducing muscular inflammation, Epsom salts can boost your mood and ease stress by replenishing your body’s magnesium levels, which helps produce serotonin and lessen the effects of adrenaline.

While Epsom salts work beautifully on their own, for this simple and effective DIY beauty treatment, I’ve paired them up with a few other stress-relieving, mood-boosting ingredients:

Keep Reading.


Help me with my top surgery!

Hello, my name is Aaron and I am an 18 year old trans boy. I am an engineering student who recently started college and my transition, and while its been going considerably well so far, there is still a major source of stress and dysphoria in my life: my chest.

Binding my chest, especially while at college, comes with countless physical and mental discomforts. I cannot go to the bathroom, exercise, swim, or even leave my dorm room comfortably without binding first. Binding causes me a great deal of physical discomfort and pain: it limits my ability to breathe, causes fluid to build up in my lungs, makes me feel sick after eating, and I have had to grow accustomed to always being distracted and uncomfortable no matter what I am doing. I have tried three completely different binders of different styles with no real improvement on this, and the thought of having to do this for years to come is unbearable.

I come from a lower class household so I am unable to pool much money on my own, especially now with college expenses. As an engineering student my classes are difficult and require a lot of focus which I simply cannot give them so long as I have to continue binding. If I do bind, I cannot properly concentrate because of the pain, and if I don’t bind I cannot concentrate because I am in such distress over the visibility of my chest. I feel like this problem is consuming every aspect of my life, and it would mean the world to me to just be able to live comfortably in my own body for the first time.

And for that I need your help. I am currently saving up all the money I can in order to have top surgery and remove my breasts, but as insurance extremely rarely offers any help whatsoever I am going to have to pay out of pocket. This money will be used for the surgery, anesthesia and facility fees, and post operative care. I am hoping to be able to schedule the procedure for next summer, as it will likely be my last chance to rest for the entire recovery period without having to miss any work or school. Any and all donations are extremely appreciated, and please share this around if you can. Thank you so much!

(A link to the surgeon I plan to see, if you would like to verify the cost/procedure of the surgery)

Happy Arrow Season 3 Finale Day!!!

Congratulations fandom!!! We made it!!

What an amazing season it has been and I suspect it will conclude with an amazing season finale. Cannot wait to close out the year with my fandom family! It’s been a blast this year you guys. Truly.

I thought before Oliver and Felicity’s Season 3 journey came to end we could take a look back and remember the highs, the lows, the joy and the pain. Otherwise known as…The Jbuffyangel Season 3 Olicity Gif Explosion. You. Are. Welcome.

As I reviewed the gifs, once again I was struck by something that has stayed with me this entire season. You can see the trajectory in their story. Yes, it ebbs and flows. There was a great deal of pain sprinkled with moments of joy…but there is a point. A connective thread. A through line. And tonight…is the finish line. We arrive at the destination Oliver & Felicity have been hurtling towards all season. They will end the season together. They will find one another in the end. Whether that’s simply a sunset drive in a fancy Porsche or a moment bigger than we can even anticipate, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that they will survive this. They will continue to prove they can survive anything, with their love intact and stronger than ever. In a season of identity, Oliver & Felicity will realize that choosing who you love and building a life with that person is the greatest statement a person can make about who they are.

Word of warning. This post will break The Tumblr app. #sorrynotsorry

Keep reading

In the Pink

Thanks @tanekore for your great ideas, esp for JayTim. What would I do without you? Tim doesn’t deal with pain medication very well - it makes him forget all kinds of things - like his boyfriend’s name. Not to worry  - Jason Todd is there to jog his memory.

The sudden brightness made Tim groan and throw and arm over his face, and then immediately regret it. His chest burned and even breathing felt too tight, like he was sunk under water. His skin smelt like rubbing alcohol and there was a faint beeping to his left, too mechanical to be very soothing. 

“What?” he croaked out. His throat was painfully dry and none of this made any sense. There had been Black Mask and a gun shipment, and then…Tim couldn’t remember the rest. 

“Here,” someone handed him a glass of water with a pink straw. “Drink.”

It hadn’t occurred to him, but Tim was so thirsty, and the water felt cold and refreshing sliding down his aching throat. When he handed the glass back, the pink straw looked too bright and pretty to be sitting inside a plastic cup.

His eyes slowly followed scuffed knuckles and scared skin up to see Jason Todd’s smiling face. “Welcome back, beautiful.”

Tim scowled. “Where’s Alfred?”

“Probably washing all your blood out of the sheets,” Jason said, not unkindly. “You gave us a nice scare.” 

Tim looked down at his hands, which were bruised up with one arm hooked to an IV and a finger resting between a heart monitor clip. There was something else lying on the bed beside Tim, a little plastic wand with a red button on top.  

Jason whistled low, setting one hand next to Tim’s on the stark white bed sheet. “They got you on the good stuff, huh?”

Even though he wasn’t touching Tim, the warmth of Jason’s hand so close made him blush, and he could feel heat pooling in the skin of his cheeks and down his chest. 

Jason laughed softly.

“Todd I don’t have time for games,” Tim grit out, pulling off the heart monitor and making the machine alarm blare. “Black Mask, he’s got a shipment of—”

Jason placed a soft, firm hand on his shoulder, pushing him back into the pillows. If he was thinking clearly, he’d be worried by how easily Jason restrained him.  

“Easy there, Tim. And don’t worry, B’s got it under control. The only thing you need right now is a lot of rest,” Jason said, and then smiled again. His crooked, secret grin set off more alarm bells in Tim’s mind than the feel of a sniper’s sights on his back. “And maybe, a little TLC.” 

“What happened?” Tim asked, instead of demanding Jason explain exactly what kind of game he was playing.

“Punctured lung, a couple broken ribs,” Jason answered, looking serious. “A bullet to the thigh. Alfred said you’d feel pretty out of it from all the morphine, pretty bird.” 

“Don’t,” Tim snapped. “Only my boyfriend calls me that.” 

Jason suddenly looked very, very pleased. Tim didn’t like it.

“Oh yeah,” Jason moved a little closer, leaning one hip against the bed. “Your boyfriend. Where is he, anyway?”

“He’s…” Tim thought. He thought really, really hard. But he was coming up blank. “He’s not going to like it when he sees you’re here.” 

“You’re probably right.” 

Jason didn’t look very worried. Tim frowned, and then pressed the lovely red button of the morphine drip and things got even more warm and fuzzy.

“He’s very strong,” Tim warned.

Jason looked entirely too comfortable sitting at the edge of Tim’s bed. “I don’t doubt it, pretty bird.”

And there. That nickname again. But Jason didn’t look bothered at all, and the words didn’t sound strange coming from his lips. 

The sheet underneath Tim’s fingers felt very soft. Almost wispy, like strands of clouds strung together. But that was almost as impossible as Jason Todd smiling down him, rubbing soft circles into the arches of his feet.

“He shoots people, you know,” Tim tried again, but the words sort of blended together on the tip of his tongue. 

“He’s a bad guy?” Jason asked softy. His fingers were so warm fitting into the groves of Tim’s ankles, skin sliding against skin. Tim didn’t have time to wonder when Jason had snuck his hands under the blanket.

“No he’s,” Tim struggled, his eyes fluttering close. “I love him.”

Jason laughed again, warmly. Tim felt it against his cheek, but he was too tired to open his eyes. 

“I love you, too,” he said into Tim’s hair. “Sweet dreams, pretty bird.”

A Letter from ACD

“I cannot help writing to you to tell you of the amusement–and also the amazement–with which I read your article on Sherlock Holmes. 

That anyone should spend such pains on such material was what surprised me. 

Certainly you know a great deal more about it than I do, for the stories have been written in a disconnected (and careless) way without referring back to what had gone before. 

I am only pleased that you have not found more discrepancies, especially as to dates. 

Of course, as you seem to have observed, Holmes changed entirely as the stories went on. 

In the first one, ‘The Study in Scarlet,’ he was a mere calculating machine, but I had to make him more of an educated human being as I went on with him. 

He never shows heart – save in the play – which one of your learned commentators condemned truly as a false note. 

One point which has not been remarked […]  is that in a considerable proportion of the stories–I daresay a quarter–no legal crime has been committed at all. 

Another point – one of the few in which I feel satisfaction but which I have never seen mentioned – is that Watson never for one instant as chorus and chronicler transcends his own limitations. Never once does a flash of wit or wisdom come from him. All is [remorselessly] eliminated so that he may be Watson.”

– Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, from a letter to Ronald Knox  in response to the first piece of Sherlockian scholarship/meta writing [x].

I asked in the most level voice I could “When you’re creating a work or a record or an outfit.. it’s usually inspired from something correct? Like an emotion? So with that said, after you’re done with the work and are looking at things as a whole, which do you feel more passionate and connected to? Those works derived [from] an empowering or positive moment? Or perhaps one that has a social message? Or those like Dope that are derived from more painful places? If that makes sense…” She sat back for a moment, looking down and thought of her answer. A few moments later, she looked back at me, staring me back in the eye causing my dizziness to get worse and answered “Well.. I’ll tell you right now, painful memories create great songs.” and told me about her deep connections with You and I despite it being such a hard and terrible moment in her life to deal with but the end result is something empowering and loving. Gaga mentioned how painful it really was to write Bad Romance but how important that song is to her despite that and how her connections really just depend on the outcome of the song. She mentioned that since she feels so many emotions during the day, she cannot say that her music is derived from an emotional source entirely.. and so she does not feel directly passionate to songs for those reasons alone but rather feels the most connected to her works that speak most to her fans emotions rather than her own. She continued by saying she gets a feel and sense for how people are feeling and almost absorbs their own emotions and feels them herself. She struggled a bit with coming up with the words and started to say “I guess I can kinda read peoples.. um..” to which I replied jokingly “Auras?” and she gave me a playful smile for being a smart ass.
—  Courtney (hotbitchgaga), on asking Lady Gaga about her work. Read the full post and follow Courtney here.

August 12th 2015 the love of my life Shariek Douse was shot in the head and killed instantly while in his own neighbourhood. The amount of violence that is going on is not right and it needs to end before someone else loses the who meant so much to them. I never could have prepared for this. I lost my best friend, my soul mate and the only person who made me truly happy in life. I am in such a great deal of pain and what makes it harder is knowing we cannot afford the funeral. Please reach out and find it in your heart to even donate a dollar, it will go a long way! if you are interested in donating…& please just spread the word I would appreciate it so much❤️❤️❤️ @risslay


As I’m sure you know, Rian is currently raising money to fund his gender reassignment surgery. We’re almost 1/3 of the way there!! 

For a donation as low as $50, you’re able to commission me for work like the above - clean lineart with color and light shading!

Actually, for $50, you can get five pieces of art, from five tremendously talented artists.

And for $100, you can get 25 dang pieces of art. That’s a fricken deal right there, let me tell you. My price for something like this is close to twice that amount, and that’s just for one illustration!

Not only is this a great opportunity for you, but you also get to help out someone in need. Rian’s been struggling with this for the entire time I’ve known him and it has been really painful to watch. Now that we finally have a chance to help him out, I am beyond thrilled!

So please check this fundraiser out, and if you have donated and want some art from me, please let me know!

But at the same time, another thought came to me. This could not go on forever. One morning, I would wake up and the pain would have disappeared— suddenly, with no explanation— and a whole new peaceful life without pain would open up for me. It was not a thought in which I could place a great deal of faith, however.
—  Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

Dear 2015,

You were a wild ride from start to finish. You’ve given me a lot of joy and a newfound sense of accomplishment, but you’ve also caused me a great deal of pain. You’ve brought an onslaught of hurdles, but brought forth many new experiences. So much shit has happened between us, and I’ve learned so much about myself and the people around me. I’m spent, but satiated. You’ve helped me become a better version of myself.

So thank you, I appreciate you very much.

Good riddance!
Please help me get top surgery!

Hello, my name is Jaz!

I am a nonbinary trans person looking to have top surgery and I could really use some help. For me, top surgery will be an essential procedure that would help in my transition.

I deal with dysphoria, which is defined as a great discomfort with oneself. In this case, my dysphoria comes from my chest. I use a binder to give myself the appearance of a flat chest, but binding is painful and can be dangerous. My wish is to have a more masculine chest without having to bind. Having my breasts removed would be the only way to do this.

My insurance will cover 80% of the costs, but I’m still in need of some money that I simply cannot save on my own. If you can, please donate. I’d be more than appreciative if you could also share this link with others.

Thank you for your support!

Just wanted to say Thank You

I just wanted to say thank you to the wonderful people who posted messages and sent notes after my father’s passing.  Reading all your kind words made me cry as well as extremely appreciative. I’m taking each day as they come. It still hurts a great deal.

My mom died when I was 13 so it was always my father and brother and me. He was a Dragon Age fan and a Mass Effect fan too. My Dad was my brother’s best man when he married his husband so its been just as painful for him.

He was the type of father not everyone is fortunate to have.

Anyway I just wanted to say thank you.

Senior Mod Commander