BtVS: Seeing Xander in a new light.
I think I started hating Xander too much due to his awful behavior in the earlier seasons, especially with how he treated every woman around him.
So since my judgement has been clouded by anger, it’s taken me longer than it should have to see the bigger picture with his character - and now I’m unexpectedly growing to love him. Who would have thought?
Cause really, isn’t his story about overcoming the need to be hyper masculine? He struggles for so long about how inadequate he feels as a man since he’s not “macho” and “cool” according to societies views on masculinity. And up until now I’ve mostly seen his character as a shining example of how much less we expect of men for them to be considered OK. As in; he doesn’t really bring much to the table, and his behavior is atrocious when you compare them to how nice - for example - Buffy is, yet he gets less hate from the group than she does, etc. Which I still don’t like.
But isn’t it great that we can have a male character that’s insecure about his masculinity and doesn’t end up “growing some balls” and “man up” in the end? Isn’t it great that we have a character that struggle with what’s expected of him, and try to reject the notion that he has to be a sexist pig in order to get respect by his peers? Cause as far as I can tell, that’s his journey. It’s messy and he takes steps in the wrong direction but.. he’s slowly growing into a person that aims to be nurturing and valued in other ways than being the “big strong man” of the group. And I think that’s great.