it just goes to show that sometimes you can put everything you have into something

  • fanfic writer: *writing* Oh wow, they are going to love this. This is by far my best work!
  • fic: *witty lines* *perfect love making* *fluffy enough to kill us all* *a dash of angst, a smidgen of hurt/comfort*
  • fanfic writer: Oh man. This is it. This will be my legacy! *sweats into fic* *bleeds into fic* *cries into fic* *spends days perfecting the grammar and verbage and sex scenes* *has 15 betas look over it*
  • fanfic writer: Okay. It is finally time to release my baby on the world. Here you go fandom. You're welcome.
  • fandom: Ha, cute. *like* *kudos*
  • fanfic writer: :/
  • * * *
  • same fanfic writer: *writing* Whatever. This is shit, I don't even care right now. A singing squirrel? Sure, let's do it. Haha, cheesy lines that make no sense, sure. Grammatical errors out the wazoo? Why not. No one's going to read this piece of crap anyway, I literally wrote it on a scrap of 1 ply toilet paper with a broken yellow crayon.
  • fanfic writer: LOL *post*
  • fandom: OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER GRANTED US WITH, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE, OMG, I NEED A SEQUEL IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE. WHAT THE. I'M NOT EVEN WORTHY. *kudosrebloglikereccomment*
  • fanfic writer: *sigh*
shitty advice of a college student. (part two)

(read part one here.)

  • sit where you’ll pay attention. sometimes this doesn’t necessarily mean sitting in the very front; personally, I like to sit more in the middle. it gives me a good view of my professor and at the same time makes me feel a lot less self-conscious.
  • not sure about shit? talk to your professor. email your professor. clarify things and show that you’re a student who cares about more than just showing up.
  • get to class on time!!!
  • when you email professors always say THANK YOU for their time and help! remember that they’re not required to put in extra time to help you; but the good ones just do. make these people love you!!! a good relationship could turn your B+ into an A- at the end of the semester.
  • reaching out to both your classmates and your professor when you’re absent is your responsibility.
  • please eat. and drink water. everyday. I mean it.
  • being a good student means that you will have shitty days. a lot of them. sometimes things go wrong, or you have more work than you can handle, or you end up getting a C on a quiz you thought you studied your ass off for. that’s okay. life happens. shit happens. let yourself feel shitty sometimes.
  • once again: let yourself feel shitty sometimes.
  • unless you want to die, don’t cram for your exams!! plan ahead. study a little bit every day so that the information is retained and you don’t have to study as much the night before. the process works. planning ahead will actually make you work lesstrust me.
  • know that mistakes happen and life goes on. sometimes there’s just nothing you can do to change something. acknowledge that you’ve done everything you could, it was worth trying, and move on. mistakes happen so we can learn from them. 
  • be realistic with your daily to-do list. if you spent all night studying your ass off for that mid-term and you know that you won’t have the mental energy to get a whole list of things done the next day, then they can wait! pace yourself and get done as much as you are capable of doing in one sitting.
  • you don’t have to look gorg going to class but if putting together daily looks and getting ur face beat gives you that motivation to go to school than you go girl!!!!
  • it does not matter if another student your age seems like they have it all together; because chances are, they don’t. no one does. we are all struggling to get shit done. we all have our own journeys. it is not a competition. no path is more valuable than another.
  • stress doesn’t mean you’re entitled to being an asshole. the people in your life probably know that you have a lot on your plate. they’re trying to live their lives as hard as you are. don’t be a dick about it.
She doesn’t like to be called babe because it’s sort of a lazy way of saying baby, she loved it when I called her by nicknames, babygirl, princess, tiger (because she wants to reincarnate into a tiger if she one day dies) beautiful, etc, she doesn’t like when others call her by her name, because she prefers “soph” but she loved it when I called her by her name and she sat there smiling at me for ages. Her favourite drinks are iced coffee, those frappe things from McDonald’s and rubicon (the mango one though) she loved coffee and I’ll never understand why. Shes insecure of her face and when You look at her too long she’ll cover it, she’s insecure of her body, though it’s perfect just the way it is to me, she’s insecure of her smile but I find it beautiful. No matter how many times I called her beautiful she didn’t once believe it because she believes she isn’t. No matter how many times I tried to prove to her she was beautiful she didn’t believe it. She’s insecure, she’s scared of being hurt, she’s scared of wasting time, she’s scared of putting her all into somebody to be left alone, her guard was up, even after I showed her the craziest amounts of love, because she’s afraid of letting people in and it’ll take her ages for her to be able to trust you and open up, the way she is stubborn drives me crazy because I want her to tell me what’s wrong but she won’t. She’s spend all night crying over me but has been happy for me the next day because whose wants to see a smile on my face, she will be emotional, she’ll cry, she’ll cry and lot, she won’t tell me she’s crying though because she’s scared to bring attention to herself. She gets jealous but only because she doesn’t want to see me with anybody else. She has days where all she wants to do is be alone and cry, there’s days she’ll have no motivation but all you need to do is try to be there for her regardless of how much she acts as though she doesn’t care because deep down she does and her pain is too much to explain so she’ll keep it in rather than tell me what’s wrong. She thinks she’s stupid and not intelligent (which I think and believe she is) and regardless of what i tell her she will never believe it, she always believes she isn’t enough but she is more than enough, I look at her and see my future, I look at her and it will physically hurts me because i know that she is worth much more yet she sticks around just for me, I think back to all the times I’ve hurt her and made her cry because of stupid arguments, I’ll look at her and my eyes will light up from the way her smile forms and the way her pupils dilate, the way she turns her head to the side so I won’t see her smiling or laughing. she never wants to see me upset, she may never say much but she knows, she wants to say things but her shyness takes over, she wants to be here for me but she will have no idea what to say, she will try her damn right hardest to be there for me and even though i don’t realise how much effort she puts in she will still carry on doing so. Even though I don’t thank her enough for making you happy she will still carry on doing so because she wants me to be happy. She never really speaks about what’s on her mind until i physically beg her to, she hates to talk of her past and her future and if I’m lucky she’ll tell me a story or two about her past, I need to pay attention because she hates to repeat herself, i need to reply to her like I’m interested or she’ll think i don’t care. She hates to talk of her future because it’s “depressing” because she doesn’t believe in herself but now is the part where i should interfere and motivate her to believe that everything she wants will be hers as long as she tries. She hates it when i give her “positivity rants” on the phone because it makes her overthink. She hates feeling like I’m not paying attention to her. She hates when I don’t realise everything you do for her. She hates feeling depressed and alone so i much bring as much happiness to her as possible, she hates knowing that I’m not okay. she loves sci-fi movies and that’s another thing I’ll never understand why she loves but when we’re married I’ll sit with her through 3 hour sci-fi movies because it’ll put a smile on her face and I’d do anything for that, She loves to mess and play with her hair, she is so downright passionate about photography and she loves relating to somebody, she loves when I know things about her, she loves having deep meaningful conversations, she sometimes stays up until stupid o clock to check up on me and to see if I’m okay or just to speak to me because she craves me and the feelings I give her. She stays up some nights doing things for me which I would never expect and some nights she will cry herself to sleep because I upset her or because im not okay. She loves to play fight and she loves it when I look into her eyes and she loves it when I lay in bed with her and just talk absolute shit. She loves long walks and pleasing sights, she loves going to pretty places, she loves the nights and one day she would love to travel the world with the love of her life, even though she’s never been an an airplane before but it’s fine because neither have I. she would love a long car journey to wherever as long as it’s with somebody she loves, she loves old music and she loves to make you happy. She loves wearing casual clothes and rarely ever wants to look “feminine” but I love it because its her character and who she is and she will never change that. She will make me happy even if I’m not making her happy because she loves me and will do anything to see a smile on my face. She doesn’t like going to busy places like concerts or crowds etc, she loves dogs and practically develops bonds with them, she dislikes her dog because she’s ‘boring’ but she still loves her and sees her as a sister, because she’s grown up with her. She is sometimes so full of life and so happy that its literally contagious, her smile makes me smile and her laugh is honestly the best sound ever, I see my future every time I look deeply into her eyes and i realise that she is worth so much more than me yet she sticks around, once she loved me she has not once stopped, ever since that day 3 years ago. Sometimes she will act heartless but only because she wants me to show her that I care, sometimes she’ll cry and not tell me because she wants me to figure it out. She doesn’t like to be around many people, she doesn’t want to go to college because she hates the whole school vibe but I respect her for that because going straight for a apprenticeship takes guts, she doesn’t have many friends and although people think they know her, I can assure you they don’t, she will make you feel as though you know her but you really don’t, even I don’t know/understand her to the full extent, because she doesn’t really let anybody in unless she really wants to tell them something, she doesn’t really open up to anybody, she may talk a lot on the phone sometimes but in real life it is the complete opposite because she will become shy. She loves her dads car because of it’s blacked out windows so people can’t see her. I’d describe her as mysterious and as every single day which goes on I carry on learning more about her. She is the book I’ve opened and I will carry on reading her till I am finished reading her which will be never because she is an endless story. She loves it when I hype her up when she looks beautiful when I replay, screenshot and reply with endless emojis because her beauty takes away my breath. Sometimes she’ll have an attitude because she’s upset about something and she wants me to figure it out. But her attitude is nothing to fuck with at all because she can talkkkkk I assure you, she will fight her opinion onto you and she will make her point, but she won’t say a word in person, regardless of the arguments and regardless of the heartlessness she will love me entirely and will carry on doing so and I will never question that. Her heart is made of gold and she will always want what is best for me. I’d keep on going because this isn’t everything about her, if I could, but quite honestly I’d be going on for hours, I could never lie, me and her have made the most happiest and craziest memories together, and I could never doubt that. If forever does not last for me and her and you’re the next person who falls in love with her, take this all in and realise what you’re getting yourself into. Treat her well because she is honestly a queen, you’ll learn to love her, but let me assure you something, you will never love her half as much as I do. But for now and hopefully till forever, she is mine and I will carry on loving her till the day I die.
— 

dedicated to my wife.

@x-fucked-up-x
Homestuck Beach Headcanons

John: hot sand hot sand hot sand *makes it to the water* cold water cold water cold water (this goes on for like an hour before he settles finally). Brought one of those fake shark fins and straps it to the top of his head. He fools no one. Brought approximately 53 kites and loses All of them because Dave said “hey I bet your kites can’t hold up against your windy thing”. He was right. Tells Karkat that the ocean speaks to ppl through conch shells, he holds one up to his ear, nods, “sorry Karkat, the ocean says you’re an idiot”. Karkat is horrified and John is dying trying to keep a straight face.

Dave: has a SBAHJ swimsuit and a SBAHJ surfboard. Challenges Jade to a surf-off. “Are you sure, Dave? I’ve had a lot of practice and it’s not as easy as it looks! I’ve got it, Dave reassures her. How difficult can it be. She warned u, bro. She warned u about the surf. He does not get back in the water. Fills a bucket with crabs of various shapes and sizes throughout the day, at the end he calls Karkat over to where he’s standing by the waters edge. Hey. Hey Karkat. Look what I found. He pours the crabs out at Karkat’s feet. Karkat looks unsettled. Dave. Where did you even find all these crabs Dave. They’re your children Karkat. I did this for you.

Jade: spends the whole day in the water and also she is a surf goddess did I mention that? Doesn’t put any sunscreen in and everyone is concerned but she barely even tans. After getting out of the water she does the Wet Doggo Shake™ Jade can u pls just warn us before u do that pls you’re getting us all soaking wet. Smells suspiciously like wet dog but everyone is too polite to point it out. Helps Dave collect his crabs bc she has an uncanny knack for finding them (she’s sniffing them out with her doggy nose but doesn’t tell Dave bc she wants to show off).

Rose: builds sand castles with Kanaya bc Kanaya is deadass terrified of the ocean. They surpass sandcastle tbh it’s more like a sand palace. Rose found a bunch of nice purpley shells to decorate with and also some rocks that look suspiciously arcane and vaguely powerful. High tide somehow wipes out the group’s chairs but doesn’t touch the sandcastle. Hm. Chastises Dave for building dicks out of the sand. Is there something you’d like to tell us, Dave? *Dave sweating* what’s a penis I don’t even know anyone named Karkat. Rose smiles innocently. Of course not. Throughout the day, Rose brings water for Kanaya to drink and also to dump on her so she can regulate her body temperature. Since she’s a cold-blood her body temp is lower so she overheats v easily.

Kanaya: is deadass terrified of the ocean. Does the detail work on the castle she and Rose are making, carves out little stairs and turrets and makes flags out of spare ribbon she keeps in her bag. It’s beautiful. She cries at the end of the day when they have to leave it even though they’ve taken lots of pictures. . Karkat comes up to her with a conch shell and holds it out to Kanaya, “john told me the ocean said I was an idiot Kanaya what is it saying I can’t hear anything” She takes the conch shell and listens. Mmhm. Yes. Oh My. “What did it say???” It Was Really Quite Rude, I Shouldn’t Repeat It. Karkat is about to cry. Kanaya and Rose secretly fist bump.

Karkat: oh boy this has really been A Day for him. He’s nervous around the ocean already but apparently it thinks he’s an idiot??? He loves the crabs they remind him of his lusus, it was slightly horrifying that Dave put a bunch of them in a bucket for obvious reasons. Wants to be buried in the sand, Jake helps him dig a big hole and he and Dave and Dirk all work together to make it big enough and fill it in afterwards. Dave writes “im gay” underneath Karkat’s head poking out and Karkat yells at him for taking pictures. Sollux falls asleep on his towel and Karkat writes “beefucker” on his forehead.

Terezi: before they got there everyone told Terezi not to lick the sand. Guess what she did. Also, accidentally popped the beach ball with her teeth because she was licking it. There’s a theme here can u find it. Is in the water a lot because Vriska is desperately trying to regulate her body temperature and has v little energy to say mean things which everyone is grateful for. To make her feel better, Terezi engages in wildly uncreative insults that Vriska can easily latch onto without having to put much energy in. “Hey Terezi is the water cold?” I don’t know john, is your FACE cold? “Terezi that doesn’t even make any sense”, your face doesn’t make any sense! She cackles as if this is some High Brow Humor every single time.

Jake: has an irrational fear of seagulls, they keep coming for his food and that makes him nervous because the monsters on his island were one thing but this? This sly and wily creature? Dirk is like,,,buddy,,,it’s just a seagull? It’s just a bird? “They’re eating my fries, Dirk, I won’t stand for it!” Jake has a little ukulele that he knows like five songs on, he sits outside by the boardwalk and just strums it sometimes after dark. One night, two little kids come by and give him 6 dollars in crumpled singles for his playing and he started crying he was so touched.

Jane: is having the TIME of her life, and is also the Mom friend. She’s simultaneously kicking ass at beach volleyball and reminding everyone to put on their sunscreen and reapply every two hours please! She’s also having a good time experimenting with cooking seafood some nights, though once she made the mistake of bringing in crab and Karkat did Not take it well. It took an hour to calm him down. Jane felt awful and made it up to him by buying him a nice hoodie w a happy crab on it. Bought a cute little blue boogie board and hangs out with Jade and Roxy in the water, she’s not very good at it but she likes swimming around a little.

Dirk: he’s that one friend that goes way too hard in casual games tbh. Like, they’re just playing a friendly game of volleyball Dirk can you please stop spiking it every five seconds. The grind never stops, Roxy, don’t hate the player hate the grind. Jane looked at him w so much disappointment in her eyes after he said it that he felt the force of her stare physically and had to take a step back. Tries to show Jake that seagulls aren’t scary by feeding them, but they start attacking him for his fries which does not help prove his point at all.

Roxy: “the babe” Lalonde has been ready for a beach trip her entire life. She is checking out the lifeguards, she’s checking out the other gals and dudes strolling about the beach, she’s got her best friends with her, what more could she want??? She buys a cutesy pink surfboard and Dave makes fun of her for it and she smiles sweetly. Oh sorry Dave? I forgot you were so good at surfing?? No one knows how or when Roxy learned to hang ten but THERE SHE GOES. She finds a lot of pretty shells and rocks and sand dollars and is just enthusiastic about everything tbh. She brightens everyone’s mood always.

Calliope: cherubs can’t float so Roxy’s overprotective ass won’t let her near the water unless someone is with her and making sure she’s safe. This is Fine with calliope bc that means that she’s never alone and therefore she’s never lonely and really that’s all she’s ever wanted so!! She’s v content to watch Jade and Roxy surf, she will sit w Jane sometimes when she isn’t in the water. She also likes digging for sand crabs with Karkat bc she likes their little legs. She wants to dig deep enough to find a lobster and no one has the heart to tell her that’s not how it works.

Sollux: this idiot. This boy. My sweet sweet son. Makes the horrible mistake of falling asleep on his towel. He was underneath the big umbrella when he started, but as the sun moves and he’s not putting on more sunscreen?? John, Dave, and Karkat take it upon themselves to not only write “beefucker” on his forehead, but also draw dicks on his whole body in sunscreen so he burns (trolls turn a darker shade of their blood color) and ends up with these pale gray dicks surrounded by a horrible dark, mustardy burn.

Hearing The Call to Adventure when you’re over 40.

There’s a seriously delightful conversation in one of the LARP fb groups about adventuring over 40. Many of us aren’t 20 anymore, and it seems silly to have our characters not be our own age (or close to it). But they’re still starting characters (as it’s a new campaign), which implies they chose this path recently.

That thread is mostly joking around, but I kind of love the idea of hearing The Call when you’re not a teenager, and starting your in-game adventuring life later as some kind of mid-life crisis, religious epiphany, empty nest reaction, etc.

Which got me to some ficlets, and here’s the result.

“Well, your mother always wanted to be an adventurer - she was a hell of an archer when we were your age - but we got pregnant, and your grandmother needed some help, so we put that life off for a while. But now that you’re off at university, it seems like a good time to pick up the bow again, and go fight evil." 

“There was just something missing, y'know? I mean, I liked being a toymaker, but one day I realized - I really wanted to put on some plate mail, and go fight demons. So here I am, livin’ the dream." 

— 

“Sometimes, relationships don’t work out. She got the business, I get to start the life of adventure I’ve always wanted. Did you know I minored in alchemy? It’s good to get back into it again.”

“Your Aunt Maribel and I had always talked about doing this, when we were girls, but it just never seemed like the right time. But now that Uncle Haro has passed…Mari just wants to get out there and do it. I can’t let her go alone, can I? Someone has to watch her flank on the line, and remind her to keep her shield up.“

"What can I say? Sometimes you fall in love with a mage. When you do, you grab your hammer and you go where he goes. Someone has to keep cute Dukes from flirting with him. Back off, gentry! He’s all mine.”

“Kevin, you’re being ridiculous. I’m not going to fall in love with some Duke.”

“Whatever. I’m not taking any chances. It took me this long to find you, and I’m not letting you go without me.”

“I’m your Dad. If you’re going to go and fight evil, I’m going with you, ‘cause I support your choices.”

“Er…Mom’s heading off to check out some evil gate she heard about. Someone needs to go with her, ok? I squired for her last time, but I just can’t right now. It’s your turn. Make sure she does her exercises, ok? Her back is going to be horrid if she doesn’t.“

"Fine. I’ll handle the evil gate with Mom. But the next time she heads into the swamps to fight some lizard thing, you’re doing it. I freaking hate swamps.”

“His husband left him for an elf. He’s got some anger issues that he’s working through, ok? Better that he work through it on some bad guys.”

“What was that?”
“Undead again.”
“Oh, for the love of..look. They’re a freaking plague, and it’s getting worse. If we don’t want to keep dealing with this, we’re just going to have to go to the source.”
“But….the carrots…!”
“Hang the damned carrots. I’ll hire that nice boy down the street to take care of our field while we’re gone. Clean yourself up and grab your holy symbol. We’re not putting up with this for one more week.”

“Well, I always wanted to see the world. I got a small inheritance recently, and thought, why the heck not? No time like the present, right?”

“If that Sorcerer thinks he can just waltz in here and take over this town, he’s got another think coming!”
“Doris, calm down. We’ll write to the King, and…”
“I WILL NOT CALM DOWN. Sally, I swear, you drive me nuts sometimes.”
“I’m just saying - there’s diplomatic solutions to this.”
“The hell with diplomatic solutions! I WILL END HIM. ”
“Fiiiiiine. Do it your way. End him with fire.”
“Thank you!” *smooches* “Love you. Back when I’m back. He has NO IDEA who is coming for him.”

“What can I say? Adventuring pays the bills. I have a family to support, and turnip farming doesn’t make money like it used to.”

“Hey Phineas - for guys’ night, I have a thought. Rather than just going down to the pub like we usually do…I found a gate. No idea where it leads. Let’s go check it out. Could be fun, right?”
“A gate?”
“Yeah!”
“This is a terrible idea. I’m in.”

“Um….well, this is awkward. You know that Goddess who spoke to me last spring?”
“Oh yeah! Your whole conversion thing. Nice to see you found faith. It’s been good for you, I think.”
“Well, she has something she wants me to take care of.”
“What, like…a message delivered or something?”
“Noooooooo?”
“Seriously? You’re a florist. What does she want you to do?”
“Well, now when I sing, things blow up. That’s good, right?”
“This can’t end well.”

“We left for THREE WEEKS, and Barbarians razed our village. I swear, do I have to do everything myself? I JUST RE-DID THE ROOF, YOU JERKS.”

“He doesn’t think our family is good enough for him? I’ll show him who is good enough for him! My little girl is going to live in a castle, even if I have to conquer it myself!”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.”
“We’ll see what he has to say when I walk into Summertide with a demon’s head on a spike! Who’s good enough now, you two-bit merchant?!?”

“Your Aunt recently found out that Throgg the Destroyer is that brat she couldn’t stand at the Academy. She’s not taking it well, so we’re going to be off on a trip for a while…”

“So….funny story. You know that favor I owe the Countess? From like 20 years ago? She finally called it in. She remembered that I’m really good with Ancient Runes, and apparently there’s something she needs checked out.”

“I thought you said this adventuring thing was just a hobby, Brianna. Something we did on the weekends.”
“Well, but…y'know…I really like it. I think I could be good at it. I’m getting better with the spear, you know?”
“I don’t even know you anymore!”
“Can’t you just be supportive?”
“Well, but where does it end? First hobgoblins, now orcs…what’s next?”
“I heard about this cursed tomb…”
“Absolutely not. I draw the line at tombs. NO TOMBS.”

“I told you not to date that vampire. Didn’t I tell you? I told you!”
“Let me live, Sergio.”
“Let me unlive, you mean.”
“Ok, that’s just rude.”

“Oh, sure - one good healing spell, and you think you can conquer the world.”
“I can! I have the knees of a teenager again!”

“Grandpa, you’re embarrassing me.”
“What, I can’t visit my grandson while he’s adventuring?”
“Well, I love having you here, and everyone knows you’re a good healer, but…”
“I’ll be fine. I like it here. I think I’ll stay.”

“C'mon, let’s do it. We’ve always wanted to.”
“But…we don’t know what we’re doing.”
“We do! We’ve each read The Book, what….15 times? I know you basically have it committed to memory.”
“I don’t think 'To Catch a Rogue Lord’ was really meant as an instruction manual.”
“C'mon…how hard can it be? You’ve seen the adventurers who come through here.”
“Excellent point. I’ll get my herbs.”

“Honey? There’s a kid at the door. He says you’re the Chosen One.”
“Arrrrgh. We talked about this! Come back later!”
“He says the stars are aligned?”
“Not doing it! Tell him to go away.”
“Oh, and the seal broke. The seal broke, Stephen. It sounds important.”
“But…”
“I’ll pack you a lunch.”

“Call Sharon. She and her stupid birthmark are coming with me.”
“I thought you said that translation of the prophecy was incorrect? Something about a miss-translation of verb.”
“…well, at least if we fail, I won’t have to listen to Karl talking at Guild Meetings about how he was right.”

Midoriya and his many parents

Not a Dream Daddy post.

 I’ve mentioned this briefly in Aizawa’s profile, but BnHA is just chock full of father figures. There’s a big emphasis on mentors and fatherhood, more so than in a lot of other manga and anime I follow.
Now, the idea of the ’sensei’ is fairly classic, the old master who teaches the young hero their secret technique and all that. But the young heroes in BnHA, with their high stakes environment, do have a lot of them.

 This is especially true for Midoriya.


 Inko Midoriya

Surely I’m not the only one who thinks it’s super interesting that we have not seen Midoriya’s biological father? Like… he wasn’t even on the couch watching the Sports Festival.

Considering his mother appears to be a house wife in a fairly nice apartment, I think it’s safe to assume that he at least exists. Maybe he’s a salaryman with a lot of overtime, more likely he’s working overseas.
Whatever the case, he’s very much an absent dad. 
Now, absentee parents aren’t that much of a deal in anime. The ‘16-year old living alone in Tokyo’ is a bit of a trope, after all, but here, with the emphasis on several characters parents, it feels like a statement. This is the manga in which we know the entire family set-up of Tsuyu, and the names and appearance of Jirou’s parents. Much as I love Jirou, she’s a side character.
For the main character to have a blank space like that, is a Thing. It means that growing up, Izuku had one parental figure, and that parental figure was his mother.

And give the woman credit: she did amazing.
It is not easy to raise a child practically by yourself. Certainly not a child that is considered an outcast by society. The amount of love Midoriya receives from his mother is heart-warming, their relationship is one of the better ones portrayed in shounen and as a result, Midoriya is a kid with an incredible amount of mental fortitude, capable of handling some pretty devastating circumstances.
His mother has been a supporting pillar in his early childhood, which, remember, was pretty rough on account of all the bullying. As such she has shaped a lot of his personality. She’s equipped him with confidence, with an unshakable belief in himself.
However, she is very much not a hero.

Her love is one of katsudon and hugs and kind words and worried tears. She wants him safe, above all else. She’s never going to teach him hand-to-hand and going by her advice alone will not make him into the hero he desperately wants to be.
Him quite literally leaving the warm nest she made for him to learn how to fight evil people is a big part of him growing up.


 All Might

Maybe that’s why Izuku puts so much of his hopes and dreams on All Might.
Here’s his ultimate hero taking an interest in little old him.
It’s a fairy tale. A manga trope.
And I really believe that he sees an alternate father figure in All Might once he gets closer to him. They have their wax on, wax off moment on the beach, with All Might encouraging him to get stronger. This is the trope. The sensei, mister Miyagi thing where the kid gets prepped to receive the ultimate technique (in the form of a lock of… hair, whatever).
But unlike traditional masters, and unlike his biological father, All Might sticks around. He is a presence in his life. He cares for Midoriya and his continued success in a way that, at this point, no other male figure does.

Dad Might gives Midoriya a whole bunch of very important advice, but it’s good to note that this isn’t a rough or distant sort of male mentorship.
All Might quite literally opens himself up to Midoriya.
He shows him his weaker side. The skeletal side. The broken side.
Because All Might, let’s not forget, is a friggin mess.

I mean, I know he’s going through a lot, but this man is Such a Dork. It’s definitely endearing and it is also one of his best traits as a character. However: as a person, he’s really not very well equipped to be raising a teenager. He lacks, in a way, the stability and level-headedness that comes with the position of a teacher.
He cares too much. About everything. All the time.
And he nurtures that side of Midoriya, when Midoriya already has plenty of that.

He can’t help but admire Midoriya’s selflessness. Can’t help but praise the very foundation upon which his own heroics are based: helping people.
When he saves Todoroki. When he saves Bakugou, All Might is there to tell Midoriya that what he did is all right.

And this is certainly important for Midoriya to hear, but at this point it’s also not the only thing he needs to hear. 


 Aizawa Shouta

Luckily Midoriya also gets a more traditional teacher figure.
It’s interesting to note that, despite being the younger of the two, and despite the fact that he sometimes teaches from an honest to god sleeping bag, Aizawa is a much more stable mentor and general Adulting Adult.
He still cares about his students, but he’s also much more likely to Act as a Teacher.

Because Aizawa immediately picks up on Izuku’s self-mutilation.
He watched the entrance exam, he knows that Izuku’s quirk is, at this point, extremely flawed. That Izuku doesn’t have control over it.
He explains it in a pretty standoffish way, and certainly this early in the show it comes across as cruel, but he’s not wrong.
Izuku is breaking bones every single time he uses his quirk at this point in time. If he does anything with his quirk, he’ll be a casualty.
Him using only a single finger is framed as a feat of intelligence,
but it is also INSANE.
'Oh you only broke one finger, you have nine attacks left’.
That is NOT a good plan. Don’t do that. For fuck’s sake.
I hope we all realize that what Midoriya is doing is Not Healthy.
He is eating away at himself, destroying his own body over and over again.

When Aizawa tells Midoriya to get a grip on his powers he’s not just being an ass. He’s being a responsible adult, a teacher that cares about the general well-being of the students assigned to him.

Manga spoilers under the cut.

Keep reading

Writing Antagonists: (Aka, Your Villains and Bad Guys)

The antagonist is often either one of the most fun things to write, or the most dreaded. But either way, they are a key element of the story, and that cannot be ignored. So, let’s talk about how to make a really great antagonist.

You may have in the past met a writer or teacher or whomever who insists on using the words “protagonist and antagonist” over words like “hero and villain.” Personally, I am not so stingy about it, I feel that I know what you mean anyway so it doesn’t really matter- what there is a legitimate reason as to why you should at least try to think of your villain as your antagonist instead.

And that reason is connotation. Well, denotation too, really- villain and antagonist aren’t completely the same thing, but I’m bringing it down to connotation. 

Simply said, when you think of the word “villain”, you’ll think something like “that’s the bad guy in the story.” And when you think of the “antagonist”, you probably think “that’s a fancy word for villain, aka the bad guy in the story.”

But antagonist isn’t just a fancy word. It’s a fancy concept. It means “the guy that opposes the good guy.” That can be on any argument or view. When writing your antagonist is to remember that nothing is black/white, good/bad thinking, and that includes your antagonist.

Let’s map out the steps to making a complex villain- aka, an antagonist.

First, remember that your antagonist (usually) is a person, just like your protagonist. It might help to develop them outside of their intentions first, and put a person to the upcoming reputation.

Background:

Chances are, your antagonist didn’t just rise up out of the ground ready to kill. They came from somewhere. Your readers don’t even have to know everything about your antag’s backstory, but you do, if you want to really understand them. It often holds the key reason as to why your antagonist is where they are. The drive behind anger, revenge, change, or pleasing someone else can come from the events in their background.

Why do they hold the beliefs they hold? Were they raised that way? Were they taught by some mentor figure? Were they cover from a reality they couldn’t bear? Are they trying to please someone, or get revenge on someone who displeased them? The answer should be in their background.

Motives/Beliefs:

Remember, every villain is a hero in their own mind. They believe that what they are doing is necessary, even if they recognize that it is unpleasant. What are they fighting for? Why does it matter to them so much, that they are willing to overlook all the harm they do?

“The Greater Good”: This is one of the more common and understandable villain motives. They believe that what they are doing now is paving the way to a better future. But keep in mind that what your antag views as a “better future” may be very, very different than the average opinion. Maybe a “better future” for them is a genocidal purge or the world ending in flames. Who knows.

That’s not the only type of motive. Be creative. Work with the information you established in your character’s background to find the most reasonable motive.

Tipping Point:

This is going to be related to your background and motive in an interesting way. Think of your antagonist as a character who has already completed their Character Arc and reached a negative end. Look at the points of change on the character arc- the ones that push your character farther down their path. What are those events? Those are the tipping points that prompted your character towards becoming they way they are now- those key moments where your character had a choice, and they chose to become bitter, hateful, vengeful, cold, or other negative things.

These could be the deaths of loved ones, the promptings of a mentor, or a moment of injustice that made them realize that the world isn’t always kind.

Personality/Actions:

This is the part where you develop them outside of their intentions. How do they behave? 

It’s tempting to just say that your villain is a villain because they torture and kill people. But those are not the only things that make a villain a scary or serious threat. Some characters might jump to violence easier than others. Some might be more into psychological torment. Some might actually seem really charming or persuasive, which is frightening in it’s own way- they might actually be tricky enough to confuse you into making bad decisions on your own. Think about your character’s background again. What makes the most sense for them as a person?

Presentation:

This is how your antagonist comes across to others. Keep in mind that your reader and your other characters don’t know your antagonist like you do. How does this person present to the world? 

-Are they open to discussion/negotiation?

-Are they open about their intentions?

-How quick are they to violence?

-What are their methods of war?

-When you meet them, are they charismatic, quiet, charming, vulgar? Do they have a sense of humor, or are they stoic?

-Do they seem to enjoy what they are doing, or do they express regrets even as they do it?

Moral Complexity:

What are they willing to do to achieve their goals? Do they have weaknesses in their personal lives?

1. Do they have noble ends behind their controversial means?

2. Is there a line even they won’t cross?

3. Do they have someone/something that they care about?

4. Do they prefer to do the killing/torturing etc themselves or do they just give the order?

Remember that if your antagonist does have any of these moral weaknesses, they are not going to want to show it. One has to keep up intimidating appearances, after all. 

Speaking of appearances…

Appearance:

This part is here to tell you what not to do. There are certain appearances that are getting really old with villains.

1. Dressing in all black. Why do they even do that? It’s time to stop associating black with “bad” and white with “good”. It just isn’t like that, so stop making villains all dark and stuff.

2. Scars. I think scars are pretty cool, don’t get me wrong. But if there is no relevant reason for it to be there, don’t talk about it all the time. That goes for all characters, not just villains. Like the color black, scars are not just a villain thing. Everyone has them. Don’t associate them with “bad.”

3. Sexy. I get the idea that making a villain attractive makes them harder to hate, but that can be kind of a cop out of actual complexity. Again, if there is no legitimate reason to make your villain sexy, then don’t. It’s not necessary.

4. Ugly. I hesitate to call any traits inherently ugly, but if you’re striving to make your character unpleasant looking just because they’re bad, then once again, you are associating feature=evil, which is not creative at best and seriously socially harmful at worst. 

Basically, your villains should be just as diverse as anyone else. You don’t need stereotypes to make them scary. Sometimes it’s scarier than anything else to just have an average person. It sort of adds to the idea that anyone could be a villain. And that’s pretty frightening.

Key Point:

- Complicate your villains. They’re not just Evil McEvilpants. 

That’s it for now, but like anything else in writing, antagonists have a lot of possibility and exceptions. But that was your basic rundown on the things to consider when making a complicated antagonist. 

~Penemue

Destiel, Bi!Dean and preparing the audience for a “shocker”.

I just did a re-watch of 12x10 and it really got me thinking again about Benjamin and Cas’s talk in the car with the boys about Benjamin and his female vessel.

At the time the episode aired, I think I was so excited about the prospect of Cas being in a female vessel, and how this could potentially shift a heteronormative audiences perception of Dean and Cas that I didn’t realise just what else they were trying to do.

This is about reassurance.

This is the conversation that was had in the car:

CAS: Benjamin is always very careful. Long ago, he found a powerfully devout vessel in Madrid, and her faith, it… she gave him everything – her trust and her body.

DEAN: Wait. So Benjamin’s a woman?

CAS: Benjamin is an angel. His vessel is a woman. But it – it’s – it’s more than that. She’s not just his vessel.

Just this small exchange is important as exposition for the audience. It is about preparing the audience for what is coming up. The idea that Cas was also once ‘a woman’. Which, okay, no he wasn’t a woman, he just had a female vessel, but imagine how that would have gone down had this exchange not taken place? Imagine how a general audience would have reacted to Cas and his female vessel had Benjamin just been another angel in a male vessel?

Probably a lot like the way Dean acted here, with confusion.

By giving us the Benjamin character and this particular scene as well, the writer has successfully prepared the audience for Cas in his female vessel. Preventing raised eyebrows and confusion because the audience will remember this conversation and apply it to Cas.

“Castiel is an angel, his vessel WAS a woman. His vessel is now a man, Cas is still a dude and it’s not weird. Cool beans.”

(when I think of a general audience watching SPN lets just say that I certainly don’t think of the fandom or tumblr. I think of my brother and that is something I won’t get into here. Heteronormative doesn’t even begin to cover it.)

The fact is, making one of your three main lead male characters a woman for an episode is a weird thing to do, the kind of thing that would probably make some audience members uncomfortable. So adding in this exposition, this reassurance, removes that level of discomfort, it gets them used to the idea first, like a buffer.

See for a show like SPN, whilst its always been a bit weird with its story lines, it’s never been all that progressive. As much as we would all like to wish that all SPN viewers were like us – liberal forward thinking people who are willing and eager for TV to break a few taboos – the chances are that is very much not the case. Its an old show, it has an established audience (apparently a bipartisan audience amazingly) and therefore breaking boundaries the way more modern shows have (such as American Gods, How to Get Away with Murder and Orange is the New Black) just isn’t really in the cards. Those shows established the taboo stories, the queer main characters, the representation, from the start. They built their audience on those foundations. SPN can’t do that without isolating part of its audience – unless it thinks very carefully as to how it may present such notions.

I hope I am explaining this in a way that makes sense. See this is of course about Bi!Dean and Destiel (as if anything on my blog WASN’T about those topics). Because here’s the thing. On any other, newer show, for Dean to come out as bisexual, for two male lead characters to enter into a homosexual relationship, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Those shows could build their audience around those concepts, because they would be ingrained into the show from the start.

For Supernatural, that sadly isn’t the case. SPN didn’t clearly establish Dean as Bisexual early on, and Destiel isn’t canon, it has always been the subject to interpretation with just enough ‘no homo’ so that anyone who chooses not to see it doesn’t have to (again, excluding 12x19 but we’ll get there)

One of the biggest hurdles to getting bi!dean and canon destiel, is for the SPN creators to overcome this fear that half their audience would reject them if they actually went there. It would be seen as coming ‘out of the blue’ and all those heteronormative people would raise their eyebrows and moan and be utterly confused by it.

That’s why Supernatural needs the buffers. It needs the gradual exposition, the subtle desensitisation of a general audience to anything even mildly “progressive”. If Supernatural wasn’t putting these buffers in place already, I would think we would have a problem. I would be much more apprehensive at even the idea that destiel could be a thing that is actually happening.

What is so fantastic, is that just like in 12x10 with the fem!Cas buffer that was Benjamin, we have already been getting buffers all throughout the last few seasons.

Here are some of my favourites:

  • Jesse x Cesar – 11x19 – These guys are my absolute favourite, they were created specifically to show the audience that you can be a gay man and also a macho man. That gay men aren’t stereotypes, that hunters can be gay and settle down and especially that gay romance doesn’t change the theme of the story. The big take away from this episode is that it shows the general audience that men like Dean Winchester can be gay/bisexual.
  • Hannah – 10x17 – This was a real eye opener for any Cas x Hannah shippers. Because Cas didn’t treat Hannah any different, and he had exactly the same warmth and affection for Hannah in her male vessel that he did in her female vessel. Basically this was a nice punch in the face for any homophobes watching. SPN doesn’t care about your heteronormative ships. You wanna ship Hannah x Cas? Fine! But Hannah’s in a dudes body now and guess what? Cas doesn’t care! How do you feel about THAT?
  • God is Bisexual – 11x20 – This was just a nice big fuck you to homophobes everywhere. Don’t like queer characters? This is NOT the show for you! Because in our world even GOD is queer! Yay for LGBT representation! It works as a buffer because once again it is sending a message to the general audience that this is the kind of thing you can expect on our show. We are changed now.
  • Dean rides Larry – 12x11 – Okay so maybe it’s not an obvious buffer, but it is kind of a subliminal message so I’m counting it. Dean riding that damn bull was the most sexual scene we have had on this show in seasons (and no that god awful thing that happened in 12x02 doesn’t count – nor does the same god awful thing from 12x08). The jokes alone, the sexual innuendos. This entire episode is loaded with subliminal messages basically screaming at the general audience to maybe just consider the fact that Dean likes guys.
  • 12x06/12x20 – Max Banes – like Jesse and Cesar Max works as a buffer because he is another way to get the general audience used to the idea that characters that are similar to Dean Winchester can be queer and it’s no big deal. Max is badass, funny, smart and charming and also 100% canonically queer (whether gay or bi we know textually that he is totally into dudes). Sam and Dean don’t bat an eyelid at his sexuality, so neither should the audience. It is just one part of his character and certainly not what his story is all about. Max is proof that you can have a queer character who is a badass and a hunter whose story is basically nothing to do with their sexuality. Their sexuality just happens to be a part of who they are.
  • And finally – Destiel – season 12 – I’m making this its own buffer because honestly? There is no way to view Dean and Cas’s relationship as non-romantic at this point. I think that the writers have slowly been turning up the dial on Destiel probably since 11x18. 12x19 really drummed it in for us though. The angel/human love themes of 12x10, the textual “I love you” in 12x12, the MIXTAPE and everything else about 12x19. This is all preparation. It is indeed a build up to a reveal. Destiel is it’s own buffer and even if people do still accuse it of ‘coming out of nowhere’ once it goes canon, all the writers have to do is gesture at season 12 and the fucking mixtape scene and say to those people “in what universe does the gifting of a mixtape between people who are not explicitly related NOT have romantic connotations?” Only a fool would argue with that if they had any knowledge of pop culture history. Sorry, but that’s the truth.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on that. A show with a long established audience about to make a move that could potentially appear (but not really) out of left field would need to build up that move through a series of well thought out buffers, symbols, themes and subliminal messages before actually making it.

Like how Benjamin was the writers way of normalising Cas’s female vessel, the past two seasons have been a journey to normalise bi!dean and destiel in preparation for making both of these things explicitly canon. Yes we still have a way to go - it still needs to be stated explicitly in the text that Dean is into guys, in love with Cas bla bla bla, but we are getting there.

In summary. Destiel is endgame. Dean is bisexual. The general audience better learn to throw their heteronormative goggles in the bin because this is the state of this show right now, and it is good. 

Please Watch “Orange”

Ok everyone. I’m sure some of you have probably heard of this anime, and those people who have heard of it have probably strayed away from it for the same reasons I did. 

I am a huge fan of romance anime. I’m basically addicted to anything involving love, but I was weary of this show, called “Orange,” because (1) you learn from within the first few minutes of the first episode that the love interest is going to die, (2) it looks really cliché, (3) it is not very popular, and (4) it looks sad. 

I was wrong. So very wrong. 

(1) Yes, the anime has its bleak, raw moments, but those moments were the ones that I never had anticipated that I would appreciate the most. Something that definitely became an admirable point of the anime was its very real, non-sugar-coated portrayal of depression, mental illness, suicide, and grief. This series does what most shojou romance series shy away from and actually shows the audience what depression is like through Kakeru, the fated-to-die protagonist, and the seriousness of suicide. 

As someone who has personally battled with clinical depression for years and has been to therapy and counselling, this anime hit home for me. The faking smiles, pretending everything is okay, the self-loathing, thinking you are at fault, thinking you are a burden to others, denying yourself happiness, not allowing yourself forgiveness, and the thoughts of death; they are all things that I could relate to. They even included how you can still experience moments of true happiness even if you are depressed, but how it never really goes away. Sure, this anime might not be as light-hearted as others, but it’s the heart-rending instances in this show that give it so much impact and substance. 

(2) This anime does have some clichés (i.e. cultural festival, giving chocolates on Valentines Day, new kid at school sits next to the main character), but the plot completely colors these events in ways that make them so much more meaningful and different than you have ever seen them. One of my main concerns going into this show was that I would be bored, but I ended up watching it all in one sitting simply because of how much I needed to know what would happen. Additionally, the secondary characters are wonderfully fleshed out and are actually important to the plot, instead of feeling like accessories. 

(3) I know this anime was based off of a manga (which I had once picked up on a whim, but put down once I saw how sad it was probably going to be), but I have never heard people talk about it, like ever. Even when the show came out (which it did recently), there was no buzz about it. Although the lack of chatter surrounding Orange only made me more pessimistic regarding the quality of the show, if there is anything I have learned from watching hundreds of anime, it is that sometimes good shows can fly beneath the radar. I am glad I decided to pick it up after it’s completion and give it a chance, because I just found a series that has easily earned a spot on my top 10 list. 

(4) Is this anime sad? Yes. Is it too sad to watch? No. The biggest obstacle that stood in my way for this show was the fact that it pretty much promised from the get-go to be sad. “But love is supposed to be happy and have a happy ending,” you might say, “so how can that be possible when one of the protagonists is destined to commit suicide.” I don’t want to spoil it, so all I can tell you is that I was very pleased with the conclusion and it ends much differently than you are lead to believe it will. Trust me guys. My heart is made of glass. I would not recommend this show to anyone if I didn’t think the denouement was really good

So, in conclusion, set aside a few hours one day and let this series show you its magic! 

Tips To Surviving Band Camp

Hey everyone! So as the school year is coming to an end, marching season is beginning. This of course means band camp! Whether you’re a rookie or a returner, it’s always nice to know what you’re getting into and have some reminders.

1. WATER! Drink LOTS of water! This is probably the most important thing. Stay hydrated, drink water every chance you get, because you’re going to be out in the hot sun on the turf all day. Most people bring those big water jugs, make sure you drink AT LEAST one of those in a day, two would be even better. Drink a lot at night too so you’re hydrated in the morning too. 

2. Sleep! You’re gonna be exhausted at the end of each day, so make sure you take care of yourself and get the sleep you need to stay healthy during camp. I know I went to my drum major’s house and fell asleep during dinner break last year XD You want to have the energy you need, which is gonna be a lot, so don’t be staying up till 1 or 2 am watching netflix if you know you have vis block at 7 am.

3. For my trans and nonbinary friends, DO NOT bind during band camp! Trust me, I am in the same boat with this one. As much as I know you want to pass, it’s not safe or healthy to bind in those conditions. You’ll restrict your breathing at a time when it matters most. I know it’s gonna suck, but your health and safety is more important.

4. Don’t blow your chops out! Sometimes you really wanna practice, or over practice, but trust me if this happens you won’t be helping yourself. You wanna be able to come to camp every day ready to play your best, and you won’t be able to do that if you over played the day before. Know you’re limits and recovery time, especially for all you lead trumpets.

5. Eat. Whether you’re in drum corps or a high school band, you all need to eat. This goes along with sleep and water, but you need the energy. If you go jazz running around the field in 100 degrees whether with no food in your stomach, you’re gonna throw up or pass out. Stay healthy and take care of your body and make sure you’re getting the nutrients and protein your body needs for an activity like this.

6. When it comes to health and safety, just know your limits. If you’re not feeling great, sit out. You director will understand. Your health always comes first. And if something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to tell someone. Also, I know a lot of people have injuries. Make sure you don’t push those. Wear the knee brace or the elbow brace, wrap your ankle, do whatever you can to help yourself and sit out if it hurts. Don’t push yourself too far.

7. Now that the health and safety stuff has been addressed, social interaction! A lot of you rookies may go in not knowing people, and I understand how scary that can be. Take it from someone who couldn’t even talk to the two girls marching next to me for the entirety of band camp, it’s so much better if you just talk to them. Talk to other freshmen, talk to your section leaders and drum majors, talk to the upperclassmen! We want to get to know you too, and we know it’s hard at first. Band camp is the beginning of a great journey and you’ll make so many friends, you have nothing to be worried about.

8. DON’T LOSE YOUR DOT SHEETS OR MUSIC!!! Seriously. If you lose them, we have to go to the band room and make copies, then you’re behind because you didn’t have all the materials. It makes it easier on everyone if you keep track of everything. It’s also good to show that you’re responsible.

9. Listen to your techs, section leaders, and drum majors. They know what they’re talking and they were put into their positions for a reason. If they tell you you need to fix something or to stop messing around, listen. They’re doing what’s best for you and the band. You learn so much from them too, take every opportunity you get when they give you tips for improvement.

10. HAVE FUN! Like I said earlier, band camp is just the beginning. Do things with your friends! Go out for lunch or dinner together, get to know everyone, have a little fun with your rehearsals. A lot of schools do games at band camp and get into it! It’s so fun to just relax and goof around with people. Do things with your section, talk to people. Just have a good time! These people are gonna become your family and give you an amazing experience.

Bonus (11). A lot of people are reblogging this and adding SUNSCREEN! I cant believe I forgot that haha but yes! Sunscreen is super important! Even if you don’t burn easily, wear it! Reapply every 1-2 hours if I’m being honest. Getting burned sucks!
On trauma aftermaths that don't advance the plot

The way TV shows trauma can lead people to expect every reference to trauma to be a plot point. This can be isolating to people coping with the aftermaths of trauma. Sometimes people treat us as stories rather than as people. Sometimes, instead of listening to us, they put a lot of pressure on us to advance the plot they’re expecting.

On TV, triggers tend to be full audiovisual flashbacks that add something to the story. You see a vivid window into the character’s past, and something changes. On TV, trauma aftermaths are usually fascinating. Real life trauma aftermaths are sometimes interesting, but also tend to be very boring to live with.

On TV, triggers tend to create insight. In real life, they’re often boring intrusions interfering with the things you’d rather be thinking about. Sometimes knowing darn well where they come from doesn’t make them go away. Sometimes it’s more like: Seriously? This again?

On TV, when trauma is mentioned, it’s usually a dramatic plot point that happens in a moment. In real life, trauma aftermaths are a mundane day-to-day reality that people live with. They’re a fact of life — and not necessarily the most important one at all times. People who have experienced trauma do other things too. They’re important, but not the one and only defining characteristic of who someone is. And things that happened stay important even when you’re ok. Recovery is not a reset. Mentioning the past doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in crisis.

On TV, when a character mentions trauma, or gets triggered in front of someone, it’s usually a dramatic moment. It changes their life, or their relationship with another character, or explains their backstory, or something. In real life, being triggered isn’t always a story, and telling isn’t always a turning point. Sometimes it’s just mentioning something that happened to be relevant. Sometimes it’s just a mundane instance of something that happens from time to time.

Most people can’t have a dramatic transformative experience every time it turns out that their trauma matters. Transformative experiences and moments of revelation exist, but they’re not the end all and be all of trauma aftermaths. Life goes on, and other things matter too. And understanding what a reaction means and where it came from doesn’t always make it go away. Sometimes, it takes longer and has more to do with skill-building than introspection. Sometimes it doesn’t go away.

On a day to day level, it’s often better to be matter-of-fact about aftermaths. It can be exhausting when people see you as a story and expect you to advance the plot whenever they notice some effect of trauma. Pressure to perform narratives about healing doesn’t often help people to make their lives better. Effect support involves respecting someone as a complex human, including the boring parts.

The aftermath of trauma is a day-to-day reality. It affects a lot of things, large and small. It can be things like being too tired to focus well in class because nightmares kept waking you up every night this week. TV wants that to be a dramatic moment where the character faces their past and gets better. In real life, it’s often a day where you just do your best to try and learn algebra anyway. Because survivors do things besides be traumatized and think about trauma. Sometimes it’s not a story. Sometimes it’s just getting through another day as well as possible.

A lot of triggers are things like being unable to concentrate on anything interesting because some kinds of background noises make you feel too unsafe to pay attention to anything else. For the zillionth time.  Even though you know rationally that they’re not dangerous. Even though you know where they come from, and have processed it over and over. Even if you’ve made a lot of progress in dealing with them, even if they’re no longer bothersome all the time. For most people, recovery involves a lot more than insight. The backstory might be interesting, but being tired and unable to concentrate is boring.

Triggers can also mean having to leave an event and walk home by yourself while other people are having fun, because it turns out that it hurts too much to be around pies and cakes. Or having trouble finding anything interesting to read that isn’t intolerably triggering. Or having trouble interacting with new people because you’re too scared or there are too many minefields. Or being so hypervigilant that it’s hard to focus on anything. No matter how interesting the backstory is, feeling disconnected and missing out on things you wanted to enjoy is usually boring.

When others want to see your trauma as a story, their expectations sometimes expand to fill all available space. Sometimes they seem to want everything to be therapy, or want everything to be about trauma and recovery.

When others want every reference to trauma to be the opening to a transformative experience, it can be really hard to talk about accommodations. For instance, it gets hard to say things like:

  • “I’m really tired because of nightmares” or 
  • “I would love to go to that event, but I might need to leave because of the ways in which that kind of thing can be triggering” or 
  • “I’m glad I came, but I can’t handle this right now” or
  • “I’m freaking out now, but I’ll be ok in a few minutes” or 
  • “I need to step out — can you text me when they stop playing this movie?”

It can also be hard to mention relevant experiences. There are a lot of reasons to mention experiences other than wanting to process, eg:

  • “Actually, I have experience dealing with that agency”
  • “That’s not what happens when people go to the police, in my experience, what happens when you need to make a police report is…”
  • “Please keep in mind that this isn’t hypothetical for me, and may not be for others in the room as well.”

Or any number of other things.

When people are expecting a certain kind of story, they sometimes look past the actual person. And when everyone is looking past you in search of a story, it can be very hard to make connections.

It helps to realize that no matter what others think, your story belongs to you. You don’t have to play out other people’s narrative expectations. It’s ok if your story isn’t what others want it to be. It’s ok not to be interesting. It’s ok to have trauma reactions that don’t advance the plot. And there are people who understand that, and even more people who can learn to understand that.

It’s possible to live a good life in the aftermath of trauma. It’s possible to relearn how to be interested in things. It’s possible to build space you can function in, and to build up your ability to function in more spaces. It’s often possible to get over triggers. All of this can take a lot of time and work, and can be a slow process. It doesn’t always make for a good story, and it doesn’t always play out the way others would like it to. And, it’s your own personal private business. Other people’s concern or curiosity does not obligate you to share details.

Survivors and victims have the right to be boring. We have the right to deal with trauma aftermaths in a matter-of-fact way, without indulging other people’s desires for plot twists. We have the right to own our own stories, and to keep things private. We have the right to have things in our lives that are not therapy; we have the right to needed accommodations without detailing what happened and what recovery looks like. Neither traumatic experiences nor trauma aftermaths erase our humanity.

We are not stories, and we have no obligation to advance an expected plot. We are people, and we have the right to be treated as people. Our lives, and our stories, are our own.

Seven Days

Requested: Nope

Summary: Just little old Bucky Barnes realizing he’s in love over the course of a few days. (loosely based off this)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,051

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, Non-conventional, Plot Holes, All around wholesome

(this is my first bucky barnes piece, please be gentle)

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Eddie Lives AU

-Somehow Eddie survives with being grabbed and his arm is severely damanged but still in tact with his body

-The Losers defeat IT and take Eddie to the hospital because he’s bleeding out

-Richie carries him and refuses to leave his side until the nurses force him to wait in the waiting area with the rest of the Losers

-His clothes are stained with blood, and he’s dirty and tired and shaking because what if they lose him?

-They all wait there for Eddie, but then Myra shows up

-Of course, she’s Eddie’s emergency contact

-She gets to go into his room because she’s his wife

-Beforehand though she’s complaining to the nurses, telling them that Eddie should have never left home

-It reminds Richie a lot of Mrs. Kaspbrak, and his heart breaks a little because Eddie tried to hard to find freedom

-Anyway Myra gets to go into his room

-she’s in there for five minutes before she leaves crying

-“Is there a Richie Tozier here?”

-Richie, despite being exhausted, shoots up

-“He’s asking for you.” She says, voice cracking. She’s not wearing her wedding ring anymore, but she plays with it before she leaves the hospital

-Richie is shaking as the nurses lead him to the room. They explain that it’s protocol to let the emergency contact in before any other visitor

-Richie doesn’t really listen until the nurse tells him that Eddie’s been up all day, and he’s been asking for Richie the entire time

-“Before you go in, Mr. Tozier, there’s something you should know.” Richie’s blood goes cold. He hears “couldn’t save” and “amputation” and his mind goes blank. He opens the door

-Eddie looks like an angel, even with sunken eyes and tear stained cheeks and when he tries to sit up, Richie’s heart breaks again as he sees how Eddie struggles

-They don’t acknowledge it at all, nor does Richie bring up the fact that Eddie’s been asking for him, or the fact that Eddie’s own wedding band has been removed

-Eddie simply tells him that he can’t sleep, so Richie climbs into the bed next to him

-They can’t sleep the same way they did growing up, on their sides with Eddie’s nose pressed against the back of Richie’s neck

-So Richie lies on his back and Eddie lies on top of him, listening to his heart beat as Richie’s arm wraps around his torso

-Richie can’t help it anymore. He blurts out an apology, says that he’ll never let anything happen to Eddie again, and he cries

-Eddie cries too, because he doesn’t think he deserves love like this

-Soon enough, Eddie’s well enough to have all of the Losers in his room during visiting hours (he’s gotten healthier thanks to Richie prompting him to eat and sleep)

-They all decide to move to LA together when Eddie is fully healed, because he’s recommended a prosthetic doctor there

-Richie immediately offers that Eddie lives with him, that they can finally make something out of these years of loving each other

-Eddie declines, because he wants to see if he can live by himself like this (he has to learn how to write with his left hand, and shower, and eat and everything, he’d just slow Richie down, he says)

-And he has therapy in LA scheduled, but he just doesn’t want to become dead weight and he has to learn how to live with this

-And it breaks Richie’s heart but he can’t say no to that, Eddie needs to learn how to live by himself

-

-Months later, all is good. Eddie gets a job as a teacher, and has a prosthetic that he can bend at the elbow. He decides to buy a sling so that he just looks like he’s injured his arm

-Ben proposes to Beverly and at the wedding, Stanley catches the bouquet (but gives it to Richie, because he is already married to Patty AND Bill sorry I don’t make the rules)

-Richie holds onto them because Eddie can’t, but Richie puts a flower behind his ear instead

-During the wedding photos, Eddie insists on standing to the left of Richie because he can hide his prosthetic arm if he angles himself against Richie, but Richie one-ups that by lifting Eddie so that his prosthetic is against his chest

-After the photos, Richie puts him down and sheepishly apologizes, but Eddie smiles

-It’s been so long since he’s smiled

-And they’ve been trying to be normal, but Eddie decides that he’s ready for abnormal now

-Or, he decides that as he watches Richie pull Stan to the dance floor and dance with him to Africa

-Eddie asks Stan if he can steal Richie, and of course Stan obliges because “Richie’s been talking about you the entire night”

-Eddie tells Richie that he’s learned to live like this (with a prosthetic arm, things are harder but not impossible, and every day it gets a little easier), and now he knows that he can’t live without Richie in his life

-Richie cries but they plan to live together now

-Sometimes Richie stops by Eddie’s school when he’s teaching to pick him up for lunch and all of the students flip out because “holy shit our teacher is dating Trashmouth Tozier from the radio??”

-And honestly not many students realize Eddie has a prosthetic arm because of the sling, they just think it’s paralyzed

-But one day Eddie drops a notebook and Richie says, “Hey, need a hand?” And he holds up the spare hand that Eddie has in case his detaches from the wrist joint

-And Eddie takes off the prosthetic and hits him with it and the class is shocked

(This is low key inspired by my uncle with a fake leg who throws it towards the TV when his favorite team loses)

MBTI types as people I know

MBTI types as people I know
I’ve seen this a lot around here and I thought heck why not
Written by an INFJ

ISFJ
- Best Friend
- Seriously get yourself one of these they’re THE BEST
- Super stable and don’t like drama
- You can have fun with them over really small things like sharing M&M’s on the way to school
- Can cook like heaven
- Easily offended so watch your mouth
- Will share anything with you but you have to ask first
- Mom friend

ISTJ
- Best Friend
- JUDGMENTAL AF seriously go to a random city with them and they can give an half hour roast on a stranger’s shoes
- Notice literally everything
- Likes their cats over you and will send you adorable snapchats of them
- Will argue with the teacher and ask impossible questions until they cry
- They’re aesthetically gifted
- Sometimes does things that make you go “wtf kid” but you love them anyway

INTJ
- MBTI buddy. I introduced them to it and now they finally feel like somebody understands them even if it’s just the internet
- Seriously if you know one of these TALK TO THEM AND ASK THEM QUESTIONS they’re usually quiet but if you ask they’ll like that
- Intriguing
- Emotions are not their thing so don’t be feely with them
- They can’t cry
- Will somehow get you to tell your deepest traumas at 2 am for no apparent reason
- Do not take their painful, mean, accurate comments too seriously or you’ll end up with a major inferioritycomplex

ESFP
- Highly Recommended
- You can talk to them about literally anything
- Seriously there is no private when you talk to one of these which is kinda nice because sometimes there’s shit you can’t even tell your bff and that’s when the esfp comes in handy
- Will do stupid stuff and then continue to do even more stupid stuff
- They mean well but it somehow goes wrong every time
- Drama Queen
- GOSSIP they’re not good at it but if you wanna shit talk about someone they’re yours
- You easily forget you’re angry at them
- Feed them lemonade and say it’s wine and they’ll believe you and act drunk

ESFJ
- Perfect
- Annoyingly Perfect
- They join like five giveaways a day and they actually win something
- SO DAMN LUCKY
- Confident af on the outside but secretly pretty insecure
- Friends with everybody and they genuinely like everybody
- Knows everything about everyone but you don’t know a thing about them

ENTP
- Lazy genius
- They do everything except for the things they have to do
- PUNS. MEMES. MORE PUNS.
- Has watched a lot of shows and will remember every single episode which is great because they’ll understand your references when others don’t
- They have no sense of timing
- Sometimes make harsh comments without knowing the impact on someone and then act like the others are being petty
- They mean well but they’re not very insightful
- Snapchat game is on point

ENTJ
- Supersmart and annoyed at people who are not
- Watches horror series for fun
- Probably was the kind of kid that operated on their stuffed animals with real scissors
- They have a strange liking for the dead
- They care a lot about their friendships
- They expect you to feel what they are feeling and are Highly Disappointed when you don’t
- Secretly cinnamon rolls

INFJ
- I MET ANOTHER ONE OF ME HOLY SH*T
- I had never met one of me so you can imagine my happiness
- Big Sis Friend who shares everything with you
- They know about literally everything and everyone’s secrets
- Will get you to spill your crush and darkest secrets without asking and without returning the favour
- So pair them with an INTJ and you got yourself a duo that knows it all
- So nice omg (this is where she and I are different because i’m not as nice as her)
- They care about you A LOT even when they don’t say it
- Not the best talkers but write like Shakespeare would they want to

INFP
- So innocent
- Their pure souls don’t even know what smut is and all that
- PROTECT THEM AGAINST THE CRUELNESS OF THIS WORLD
- They always have food and/or are talking about food
- Under appreciated
- Cry over every goddamn movie even Kung Fu Panda
- They will tell you when you’re being rude or when you death stare and they won’t go easy on you
- Put them together with an INTJ that results in a ten-minute lecture on being nice from the INFP it’s hilarious
- Not taken seriously but you should because they give pretty damn good life advice
- “If you ever wanna be happy in life, buy purple sunglasses”

ESTJ
- Will someday be president
- Moral knight
- Will sigh at your stupidity but help you anyways
- Not the best at communication when it comes to group projects
- You only know you love them when they’re gone because then you realize that they are the link between everyone in your friend group and without them everything falls apart
- The one I know is super innocent idk if that goes for all ESTJs
- Is willing to do A LOT for their friends
- The grumpiest grump or a super hyper and happy no inbetween

ENFP
- Way too nice
- Seriously they’re nice to everyone so I’m never sure if they genuinely like you or if they’re just being nice
- Look good in every goddamn photo even when they’re not trying
- They look like happy campers but they have secrets that they don’t wanna tell to anybody (except to the INFJ and i’m really annoyed it’s the one I know and not me)
- Did I mention they’re too nice?

INTP *the intj friend wrote this because he knows the intp better - Really likes food - The best person to have an argument with, but will at the same time try to agree with you if it means something to you - Sleeps 12 hours a day - Always late - Looks after and cares for his friends a lot although they don’t notice it - Does not like telling intimate stuff - Needs to solve the fuck out of everything - The best person to have stupid and meaningless conversations/arguments (something in between) with about the immortality of lobsters

I’m sorry to istp, estp and isfp (edit: and enfj, so sorry!) i don’t know any of them

How to Write Characters in Realistic Polyamorous Relationships

Earlier this week, an anonymous follower asked: Any advice for writing a REALISTIC poly relationship?

Friend, you are in luck. As a polyamorous person, I’m always looking for more stories that include good poly representation! So first, we’re going to dig into some information about what poly is and what it isn’t, go over some vocabulary, and discuss how polyamorous relationships function in the real world, and then I’ll get into some dons and don’ts for writing polyamorous relationships. Read on under the cut!

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How to recognize an unhealthy type

SUBMITTED by Steve

Simply put, healthy function use = healthy type. But many of us struggle with our tertiary and inferior function, especially under stress, which can pave the way for behaviors that other people hate or that we even hate ourselves for it. That’s normal, granted you try to self-improve.

An unhealthy type however has this distinction of using their dominant and/or auxiliary function in a counter-productive manner. Since these functions take precedence in our psyche, that means you’re stuck with an individual who’s often naturally unbearable most of the time, not just when things go wrong. 

With this in mind…

An unhealthy Si user is that person who never changes their mind about anything, who always shoots down any kind of alternatives and proposals and will make it their pleasure to criticize anything that they’ve never even tried. Some will go as far as seeing progress as an enemy. It seems like it’ll take a bulldozer to move them away from their comfort zone. Just try not to punch them in the face when they call you all excited about a new discovery that you spent 5 years telling them about. 

An unhealthy Se user is that person who always seems to be in trouble. Financial, legal, professional, you name it. Seems like being around them means cleaning up one mess after another. You’ll scratch your head as to how they say they need to borrow money for the rent and the next week they buy themselves neat new designer clothes or something along those lines. They’re fun for a night out on the town, but otherwise, you probably avoid them like the plague. 

An unhealthy Ni user is that person who always think they understand stuff better than you and that their word is gospel. They effortlessly exude arrogance and somewhat of a superiority complex without even realizing it. Despite their depth of thought, you would still never trade places with them as they never seem to have had one minute of fun during their lifetime and their only ounce of contentment is when you tell them they were right about something.

An unhealthy Ne user is that person who will have 2 hours discussions with you, that are usually more monologues and yet they never seem to make a point. They get excited about everything and anything, only to never offer you follow-ups. They’ll not only contradict themselves in a span of a few days, but sometimes within the same statement. They’ll often think of themselves as knowledgeable on just about every issue, only to realize they merely scratched said issue on the surface based on something they heard about it on the fly. 

An unhealthy Fi user is that person who just says and does whatever they want without with total disregard as to whether it’s appropriate or not. They are masters at twisting around and justifying everything they say and do. And if all else fails, play the victim, because they’re convinced no one understands them. Their lives are often a mess on an organizational level and please don’t offer them sound and logical advice because that might actually anger them even more. They’ll gladly self-destruct even more if it means telling you to piss off. 

An unhealthy Fe user is that person who knows what everyone is up to, but also criticizes what everyone is doing as if they wrote book on acceptable social norms and behaviors. They have an uncanny ability to think they know what’s best for everyone. You’ll often find them raising themselves up by knocking other people down, often in the form of gossip. And yet for all of this, they never seem to realize that they can’t take care of themselves without any kind of assistance from others which is actually the first issue they should address before meddling in other people’s business. 

An unhealthy Ti user is that person who thinks they’ve got it all figured out, yet the results show something quite different. They are often cynical and smartasses but not in a fun way as they’ll shun and criticize everything that makes us human like feelings, unity, spirituality etc. We’re all just monkeys destined to be worm food, you know. Ti can also be aggressively manipulative and disregard people’s feelings when it goes into “as long as I get when I want” mode. 

An unhealthy Te user is that person who seems to think everyone is stupid, lazy and incompetent. They want everyone to abide by the rules but are often the first ones to break or twist said rules when it works in their favor. Any and all shreds of “sound advice” will be sprinkled with insults on your ability to problem solve, if not, your entire character. Most frustrating is that when people finally have enough of them, they usually don’t even understand why. In their minds, they’re usually the only ones that are rational and responsible. 

50 Things I’m Convinced Harry Styles Does (in bed): A Fluffy List

Missed the first list? → Find it here

1. Says, “Pretend we’re koalas and I’m your baby and I have to hold on to you,” and wraps his legs around your waist and his arms around your torso, not allowing you to move.

2. On the rare occasion that he’s the big spoon, he cups your breasts while he falls asleep, subconsciously squeezing them every so often as he drifts off.

3. Whines, “No, no, no, no,” into your hair when the alarm goes off.

4. Watches you get ready while he rests his head against the mattress, a soft smile on his face when you pat his cheek as you walk by.

5. Stretches all four of his lengthy limbs across the bed while you’re taking your makeup off in the bathroom. When you’re done, you shake your head and lay on top of him until he’s forced to move.

6. Whispers, “I love you so much,” in the middle of the night when the two of you switch positions.

7. Says, “Sorry, not comfy,” when he’s unable to find a comfortable position and has rolled over at least twenty times in the past five minutes.

8. Tells you stories about growing up when neither of you can sleep.

9. Rubs his hands up and down your sides while you cuddle face-to-face, stopping his fingers at the underside of your bum and wiggling his eyebrows to make you laugh.

10. Asks you to run your fingers through his hair to calm him down when he’s too restless to settle into sleep.

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characterization, filters, and characterization to be found in the lack of filters

Talking about Jane earlier got me thinking, you know, Jane is not at all the only character that uses this device to show off the less desirable traits lurking in the psyche of all these damaged teens. Like. So many characters have these lurking deep seated issues that stay hidden deep down because the characters are pretty good at projecting a less damaged and more together version of themselves. 

If that sounds familiar it’s because it’s a fucking outrageously relatable quality and part of what makes the Homestuck characters RESONATE so much. Why they feel like they have all this dimension and depth that makes us grab on to them and never want to let go. 

I’m just going to run through some examples here while I’m thinking about it. The first OBVIOUSLY since thinking about her is what got me going on this – Jane. Crockertier Jane removing the layers of self-imposed filter on Jane’s festering insecurity, entitlement issues, jealousy and so on. I’ve already talked enough about that today.

Grimbark Jade! You notice Jade says what she’s thinking WAY more easily while she’s mind controlled, and she still sounds like herself – she sounds kinda like she does when she’s owning Karkat repeatedly, doesn’t she? Because angry Jade has that same effect of pushing her nice girl filter aside and letting the angry witch (not a cutesy slur, her literal witch class) within fly free. Grimbark Jade tells us that behind that nice girl front Jade Harley actually thinks some pretty uncharitable thoughts sometimes, she just keeps a tight fucking lid on it because – well, don’t most people? Relatable as fuck. 

Jadesprite! Since we’re talking about Jade anyway. Jade likes to think she has everything together, that her visions from Skaia and her scientific prowess and the tools her Grandpa left her are more than enough to handle everything that comes her way, she’s independent, she’s capable, she’s certainly never LONELY oh no of course not certainly never CRUSHINGLY OVERWHELMED by the responsibility of her own existence nah those are weak feelings for weak girls who aren’t as awesome as Jade! And then – Jadesprite. Why do you think Jade got SO ANGRY at Jadesprite? Because she was being confronted with something she knew deep down was a reflection of weaknesses in herself (totally normal ones that her later arc reinforced were a mistake to pretend weren’t there – Loneliness and fear and regret are all tied in with Jade’s character progression and learning how to deal with those things is where I imagine her arc would have gone if Homstuck’s ending hadn’t been the literary equivalent of chopping off a limb and cauterizing the wound.) Jadesprite is Jade without the filter of implacable strength Jade imposes on herself to fuckin cope with living on a hell island with the stuffed corpse of her grandpa who she grew up thinking literally killed himself at BEST.  god damn

Davesprite. Dave Strider with a slow long agonizing depressing arc wherein he realizes his coolkid persona won’t make anyone think of him as their best friend anymore, and in the absence of the security that persona afforded him when he was The Real Dave he has no idea what to do with himself. He’s lost, he feels aimless, untethered, incapable of being happy – and yes, Davesprite is his own character, but you can still infer a lot from Dave’s character about him – for instance, how he completely ties his self worth up in how useful he is to his friends or how worthwhile they find him and has no idea how to even BEGIN the hard journey of looking within for worth instead of relying eternally on changeable external sources. Davesprite is Dave not WITHOUT a filter but certainly with a VERY DIFFERENT one.

Homestuck does this with almost every single damn character on its roster at some point. Shows a version of them with a different or lesser or completely missing filter to highlight flaws and issues and internal struggles of all kinds. 

Homestuck is a damn deep dive into an exercise about analyzing nature vs nurture and what we’re predisposed to do and what comes from within and what is put upon us by forces out of our control, and how that line is blurry and messy and everyone has the potential to be either the worst or best version of themselves. Even Caliborn was given a choice. Hussie-The-Character explained it to him at great painstaking length. 

There are so many other examples. Jasprose is Rose without a filter, and the way Jasprose goes around gleefully calling every hot girl she sees hot and delighting smugly in knowing more than just about anyone else and lording over the information and playing smarter-than-thou games – that tells us a LOT about Rose! A LOT about what sort of urges Rose tamps down on every day in an effort to just be fucking cool! 

I bet you have things like this with yourself, right? Doesn’t everyone?

Tricksters! Look at how they act. They’re not themselves but there is plenty to glean from them. Jane immediately goes for Jake, the object of her desire, to pursue an exaggerated version of her idealized future. Trickster Jake is a passive fucking ragdoll who immediately acquiesces to everything everyone demands of him because their happiness becomes his happiness – Jake hates confrontation, so Trickster Jake is just a fucking doormat. Roxy goes for Jake AND Dirk because divorced from the guilt she normally feels for harboring desire toward either one of them she knows exactly what she wants! ETC ETC. Of course they would never do any of this shit if they weren’t high as balls and incapable of understanding the meaning of the word “consequence.” That’s the point. Seeing what they do in this situation is an interesting window in!

Brain Ghost Dirk is a version of Jake (yes, of Jake, not Dirk) without a specific filter Jake runs his own personality through before he’s comfortable presenting it to others, and you’ll notice, it’s EXTREMELY biting and critical sometimes. Jake knows what he’s about. He just buries it most of the time because that’s easier than dealing with it. 

I could seriously keep going. 

Homestuck loves to show us what our favorites do and say and ARE when basic filters go out the window. Those filters that most of us employ to make other people believe we don’t all have intrusive thoughts or bad desires or just plain old weaknesses we’re ashamed of and want to keep hidding at costs – or that we occasionally think things or think about doing things we would never ever ever do in real life are demolished or changed or temporarily suspended. 

It’s brilliant tbh. It lets us see facets of characters that would normally never really get full spotlight reveals by their very nature, especially with protagonists. 

Vriska vs (Vriska) – (Vriska) is just Vriska with some more self awareness and more willingness to let down her self-imposed filter and actually examine the shit she wants and why because watching Aranea fuck the timeline over out of motivations eerily similar to her own hardcore shook her enough to develop in that direction. (which makes sense since HER original motivations are copying Mindfang who IS alt-aranea lmao I love Homestuck)  (Vriska) is still Vriska, it’s just a very very different lens through which to view her character. 

blah blah blah blah etc there are so many examples

anyway I love Homestuck and good character writing what up

PSA about women walking alone at night

Hey, everyone! I was walking home late last night and I just felt like I needed to say some stuff. Yes, it is inspired by true events.

Dudes, let me give you some advice on how to interact with women walking alone late at night. This advice is intended to help you make them feel comfortable and safe from…yeah, you. And also for you to avoid getting your dick kicked into your chest cavity. My females, I’m putting out some tips that I learned from my daddy (who was a cop) that have helped make me feel safer while walking home. (Obviously subject to editing if people have some reliable source they’d like to share that contradicts what I’ve said. It’s about being safe, after all).

My dudes…

If you see a woman walking alone late at night, don’t walk behind her. If you’re going the same way as her, try crossing to the other side of the street, or making it really clear you are not paying any attention to her. If she looks back at you, politely say that you are keeping your distance and wish her a good night. If she stops to let you walk by her, it’s not an insult. It’s for her safety, because she has been trained not to trust men late at night. She is protecting her six, and if you’re a decent guy, you will let her. Don’t ask a woman you see walking late at night for a cigarette, a dollar, or to use her phone. Don’t say shit to her unless it’s to tell her to have a good night and be safe. If you see a woman being harassed, loudly offer to call the police, or just go ahead and do so. Don’t offer to walk her home, because that’s a familiar line and will put her instantly on the defensive. Instead, ask her if you can call her a taxi or contact a friend. If a woman gives you a dirty look when she’s walking home at 2 AM, please don’t call her a bitch. She’s protecting herself, and if you think she has that right, then just take it with an understanding nod, instead of acting like a fucking baby. If you’re a professional driver, don’t follow beside her slowly, like you’re casing her. If she needs a cab, she will make that obvious. If you’re a bouncer, and she is leaving your protection, give her advice on the safest ways to walk. If a woman asks for your help, and you consent to giving it to her, please be respectful of boundaries and make it clear you are not helping her for any reason other than to make sure she is safe.

Women…

Firstly, I know how fucking obnoxious it is to have to tailor your entire life to the sexual urges of predators. I know you just want to say “Screw this” sometimes and go out for a walk because why should you have to stay cooped up? I also know that sometimes, you can’t help it. Sometimes your ride ditches you and you don’t have cab fare. i am not going to lecture you, because you know what you’re doing.

So maybe instead I can give you some things you maybe haven’t thought of before.

1) Take off your high heels. If that grosses you out and you don’t want to carry spare shoes, carry a pair of socks in your purse (or your bra. Come on, they make great hoists) and wear them over your bare feet. I’ve seen those little rubber shoe things too, that look like flats…those are dope.

2) Avoid dark places. Even if it means you have to walk a little out of the way. You need to be able to see everything around your for at least a hundred feet, because a man can clear 100 feet at a dead run, very quickly.

3) Always look around, constantly. Predators want an easy mark, and if you’re paying attention, you cannot be an easy mark.

4) Pass by as many ATM’s as possible and look directly at them. They have continual activity on their cameras, so if you are snatched, the police can document your movements.

5) Only carry cards. If the place you’re going only takes cash, then have a specific amount and no more than that. The idea is to minimize incentives to rob you. If a man approaches you to rob you, and you have nothing to give him, he will likely leave at once, because he is usually nervous and doesn’t want to be identified, so be prepared to empty that bag out on the road and show him you have no valuables.

6) Should you have a weapon? Only if you know how to use them and are willing to do so, otherwise they end up being taken from you and used on you. Long range weapons like pepper spray are better.

7) Don’t talk on your cellphone in the standard way. I know you think that it’s a good idea, but the fact is, it distracts you and holding it can block your line of sight. A man can grab you and smash it and no one can track you. Instead, put it on speaker, tuck it in a pocket, and give constant location updates, if you feel threatened. Or prearrange a text appointment with someone who can call authorities if you don’t reply.

8) No music. Do not be that girl, walking in the dark, with her phone on a loud song to take her mind off the scariness of it. Music draws attention to you and distracts you. It can also mask noises of a confrontation.

9) If a man walks behind you, you have two options. You can put your back to a wall and allow him to pass by you, or you can cross the street. If he follows, find a public place immediately. If this isn’t possible, the fact is, he’s a threat. If it were me, I’d look him right in the eye and make sure he can see that I’m willing to kill. Don’t ignore a threat, and ladies, walking alone at 2 am means every man is a potential threat. Run, if you feel threatened. Who the fuck cares if he isn’t “actually a bad guy” or thinks it’s weird? Just ask yourself, “What if he is a bad guy?”

10) Be willing to drop everything in your hands. If there’s something you don’t want to leave in the street, shove it in your bra or your pocket.

11) There’s a lot of debate about how to deal with an attacker if it does happen. Some say to do what you’re told, and some say to fight like hell. I can’t make that decision for you, but you have to be aware, and try and understand the attacker. Ask questions. If you think they aren’t listening…it’s up to you. Personally, a guy better not try to put his dick in my mouth, because I will bite it the fuck off and see what happens, but thats me. Don’t go with him. If he has a weapon, then he is willing to kill you. So make the choice. If you go with him, you stand a much higher risk of never coming back, because in solitude, with no threat of discovery, he can do whatever he wants. If he wants you to leave where you are, it means that place is safer, so stay in that place.

12) Do learn self defense. If a man can hit you once, he can win. Learn how not to get hit. Learn how to get out of suppression holds. Learn what to do if grabbed from behind.

13) Minimize physical risk. Take off all jewelry, Ponytails are just convenient handles. (I had a friend get grabbed from behind by her ponytail and lifted off the ground, with a knife to her throat. She couldn’t get free because he had all her hair in one hand. Hair is VERY strong. So take your hair down, because if he can only get a handful, you can usually tear free, but if he has all of it, you can’t go anywhere.) Same with loose clothing or clothes with strings. Keys are weapons, rings are weapons. High heeled shoes can kill a man.

14) The cops will not be angry with you if you call them because you feel threatened, and it turns out nothing is wrong. They just won’t. In fact, I can think of at least ten famous cases where a woman called the cops because she was being followed and it turned out the guy was like some horrible rapist or murderer they finally caught.

15) You have the right to defend yourself. Better to be alive and dealing with assault charges than dead in a gutter.

One time I flipped a jogger upside down because he came up behind me really fast while I was walking home from work at midnight. He laid on his back looking up at me like “WTF DID I DO” and I just said to him, “Hey man, I am really sorry, but you scared the shit outta me.” And helped him up. 

And you know what? He was totally cool about it. Said he completely understood and asked me what martial art that was. I told him it was Aikido and then offered to pay his cleaning or medical later if he needed it. He shook his head and goes, “No, ma’am, we’re good.” and jogged on. 

I’m not telling you that so that you kick every man you see at night in the balls. Men have to walk home at night sometimes, same as us. I’m telling you that because women have been taught they have no right to be fierce. And they absolutely do. It’s better to defend yourself first and ask questions later, to run first and feel silly later, to strip down or button up first and let loose later.

Be safe. Women, be smart. And dudes…don’t take this personally. If you agree that women should be equals, then treat them with respect.

//so I was thinking this morning (always a dangerous sign) that I’ve talked a bit recently about how the Tumblr RP community isn’t always very good at encouraging people to find ways to manage or get to their drafts, and is instead more likely to coddle peoples’ anxieties without actually helping them at all. 

So this is a post of a few tips and tricks that might help RPers manage some of the more common anxieties I see crop up in our circle. Now, I’m not a full psychologist and nor am I licensed counselor. But I do have my master’s degree in clinical psychology with the intention to go on for the PhD (or get licensed to practice if I don’t get into a program) so I do kinda know what I’m talking about. Hopefully some of this advice is a little helpful:

1. “My drafts just stress me out.” This is a pretty common complaint, but I think in most circumstances it’s caused by stress going on outside of the RP world. Take a step back and breathe. Handle whatever is going on in your real life. That always comes first. If you come back and your drafts are still causing you to feel panicky, the next step is to find out the more specific reasons why. That’s going to help you best address the anxiety. Read on for some common reasons.

2. “I’ve gotten so behind, there’s so many and I’m overwhelmed.” This happens all the time! You take a hiatus for a week or two, or life just got really busy for a while, or just lost muse and now it’s back. But in the meantime, your drafts have piled up- suddenly you’re looking at 20, 50, 100- how do you even start? 

The best way I’ve found to handle this is to break them up into smaller chunks. It might be helpful to copy and paste your partners’ replies over into one or more word documents. You can then further organize those word documents even more. One for short replies, one for long, one for medium length. Or you can organize by muses, by how long the draft has been in your folder- whichever way you want to handle this. If you want to put one reply per document, you can organize them into folders instead. How you do this is entirely up to you.

Set a small goal for yourself- even one draft a day is better than no drafts at all. But by breaking the work up into chunks, you’ve taken a lot of the pressure off yourself. A goal of 1-5 drafts a day is a lot better than looking at all 50. 

Another tip- use the queue! Or simply keep completed drafts saved in the drafts folder until you’ve caught up enough to start posting. The queue will stagger your posts so replies aren’t coming out all at once, and your partners aren’t able to immediately reply back. And obviously keeping them in drafts even after they’re done lets you have more time to catch up. These are just a couple of tips, however, and there are probably other good ways to manage drafts. Find what works best for you!

And don’t be afraid to drop a couple if you have no muse for those threads anymore. Just let your partner know, they’ll understand. And if they don’t, they’re just an asshole and who needs that, right? It is better to communicate that you’re dropping them, however, so you’re partner isn’t left hanging.

3. “I haven’t replied in weeks, I’m worried my partner hates me.” I guarantee this is not true. Most people in the rp community are very understanding of slow response time. Your partners want to rp with you- they’ll be thrilled to see a response, even if it’s been several weeks. Responding, even slowly, shows a lot more dedication and excitement over your threads. 

So if it’s been several weeks, and you finally have muse for that thread and want to reply to it, but feel guilty or anxious because it’s been so long- reply anyway. Your partner will be so happy to see your response. 

Another way to alleviate this anxiety is to simply talk to your partner. And I know, this can be scary- but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do the thing that makes you anxious. Take it slow if you need to, but communication is the best way to feel better about it. And I guarantee, you are going to feel so much more proud of yourself if you did the thing that made you anxious than if you didn’t.

That goes for replying as well. 

4. “I feel so inadequate compared to others. I should just stop.” This is an example of what mental health professionals call a “negative automatic thought”, or “NAT”. And like real gnats, these little thoughts get all up in your ears and start buzzing around. They can spiral out of control very quickly, until you feel absolutely terrible about yourself. These thoughts are very common in people with both anxiety and depression. 

But the thing is, they can be changed. You can actually re-wire your brain with a little work so that it won’t think these thoughts quite as often. One of the most effective ways is to simply replace the negative thought with a positive one- even if you don’t believe it. So if your negative thought is “I’m horrible compared to other people,” a replacement thought could be “No, I’m just as good as anyone else,” or “my writing is unique to me and it has value.”

You will not believe yourself at first, and it will seem a little bit weird when you start. It’s also a little challenging- your negative thoughts are automatic, you’re so used to thinking them that you aren’t even fully aware of it it half the time. But when you do catch yourself spiraling off into those negative thoughts- try to stop them. This is something we teach in therapy and over time, it does help. And it does get easier.

5. “It has to be PERFECT.” Perfectionism is at the root of a lot of peoples’ anxieties. But I challenge you with this- why? Why does it have to be perfect? What will happen if it’s not perfect? 

The answer to that, usually, is “my partners will hate me/lose interest/think I’m stupid or a bad writer.” Perfectionism is usually a fear of judgment, and it’s usually fueled by feelings of inadequacy or fears of failure. So to that, I refer you back to the previous advice about negative automatic thoughts. 

Challenge your thinking about your perfectionism. A good replacement thought for this one is “even if it’s not perfect, my partner will still be happy that I responded. My writing is still valuable to them.” Another good one- “imperfection means there’s room to grow. Mistakes don’t mean I’m a failure or no good.” 

In general, don’t let anxiety say “I can’t do this.” You can do it. Anxiety is not a permanent state. The body cannot sustain it very long- the elevated heart rate, heavy breathing, heightened arousal- it’s physically impossible for it to last. Eventually, your body will start to calm itself and even back out. This is something that is very hard to sit with, because your natural instinct is to run away from the thing that’s making you anxious. Your instinct is to close the drafts folder, to close the messenger, to log out of tumblr and ignore it all completely. But the truth is, that only makes your anxiety worse in the long run. 

Now, if these tips don’t help, or you’re finding your anxiety is so bad that it’s affecting your daily life in almost everything- I encourage people to please see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or some other mental health professional. Anxiety that’s chronically preventing you from doing the things you enjoy is anxiety that probably needs treatment. Having the extra support of a therapist or medication often makes it possible to implement some of these strategies, or find better ones that work for you. Especially if you’re having a hard time managing things on your own. 

Anybody that wants to add to this with other ideas that have been helpful to you, please feel free to do so.