it's-me-by-the-way

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Okay I’m just really loving gif-ed selfies cos I really dont know how to pose for a selfie but im not so bad with moving my head.
Tagged by these fairies who decided to grace this planet with their beauty. Istg guys they knock the wind out of my lungs whenever I see their cute faces @pure-jisoo @hoon-seok @kueonhoshi @peachuas @95shua

Tagging new mutuals cos I’ve gain plenty since the last time I did this. And I wanna see your beautiful faces!

@pledis @baetanscout @coconut-coups @shuasoo @souppa @cinnawon @lovendletter @svnten @1jh @wonhuu @e8ight @017s @themoonjunhui @chxns

the way tumblr talks about mental illness really bugs me tbh 

I know that there are still a few anon gif requests in my inbox. I’ll try to get them done today. I’m very sorry about the delay - my brain’s not running on all cylinders at the moment. I’m so overwhelmed by what a few crazy girls are doing for me that I’m all dizzy and it feels like I’ve popped a few too many of my happy pills. All is good. I’m okay. *deep breath*

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual

…on that note: thanks to @lemondropsonice for actually making it possible that I have a new pack of happy pills to begin with.

Oh, and… uh, I think @electricmonk333 is going to post progress on the donations once a week. I believe that’s what she said. Did you say you’d do that? Oh god. I can’t focus. Someone slap me.

So it’s 1:11am...

Strap in–it’s a LONG one, and it’s about My Chemical Romance.

I’m listening to the 10th Anniversary Press of The Black Parade and I’m thinking back to who I was the first time I laid down on my tummy, head 6 inches from my radio/CD player combo, and heard the sounds of life support and a heart monitor that led me into the album.

I stayed there for the entire 51:53 (or maybe I stopped before the hidden track; I can’t remember), and my life changed as the measures passed by. 

Without this album, I wouldn’t have Brooke or any of my other MCRmy friends (Catherine, Theresa, Tiffany, etc etc etc), and I wouldn’t have started an online organization of people who looked depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal ideation, and a multitude of other issues in the eye and said, “I care, and I’m here to help." 

I might not have decided I wanted to be a therapist without those people, without that organization, without this album. 

I wouldn’t have role models who inspired me to be artistic at a young age, to be unapologetically myself, who told my adolescent, insecure, media-pressured female self that I am beautiful because all women are beautiful, and that I had every right to spit and shout a hearty "fuck you” at anyone who tried to take advantage of me.

I wouldn’t have male role models who knew how to respect women, and if I’m being very honest on the Internet, I wouldn’t have had father figures between the ages of 11-14. It’s sad and a little bit dramatic, but it’s true. 

I wouldn’t have believed that it’s okay be fucked up–to be angry, to be sad for no reason, to want to burn the world down if it meant your problems went away–if these men hadn’t told me so in the span of 51 minutes and 53 seconds. At 11 years old, I needed that very very much. 

And, I wouldn’t have “Famous Last Words.” I find it difficult to describe what this song means to me, but for the last 10 years it has been instrumental in processing every minor and major tragedy I’ve experienced, including but not limited to the death of my brother, my dad (a whole slew of problems/incidences/psychological damages), missing opportunities, failures, poorness, realizing my own mortality and the mortality of those I love. When I listen to it on the good days, I can feel a tingle across my shoulder blades where the chorus of that song is going to be inked forever.

Without this album, this band, I have absolutely no idea who I would be. I happen to like who I am.

stress doodled because I have feELINGS

Good God the part of this SU episode that hit me the most was how they used Garnet as a visual aid for the kids’ trauma.

Sapphire and Ruby didn’t get specific fears or thoughts, even if that would’ve been very easy to include. Instead, they got imagery that very clearly focused on their reactions and the consequences of flawed coping mechanisms. Ruby is prone to self-destructive hyperfocus on one thought, completely incapable of moving past it. Sapphire is “calm and collected” because she lets thoughts pile up until she completely overloads and shuts down.

With the mechanics of each coping flaw well-established, Ruby settles next to Connie, passing that imagery on to her. Connie was obsessing over the fact that she went into automatic panic mode and attacked that kid (understandably so). She’s scared of herself, and Ruby was there to show how heavily a single worry can weigh on someone so one-track-minded–to the point of both being blind to their partner’s distress.

Sapphire settles next to Steven. The one who’s always okay and always ready to go until he can’t push it aside any longer and completely shuts down. He didn’t even react to their falling to the presumed death. We saw Sapphire’s breakdown with the visual metaphor of that maelstrom of thoughts spiraling in on her like vultures. Now we have a sense of magnitude for what’s weighing on Steven, and how many things he’s been holding back because he doesn’t want to confront them.

Connie’s ready to tear herself apart over one butterfly. Steven didn’t acknowledge the butterflies as they showed up because if he faced one he’d have to face them all, which is far too much.

Garnet was and always is great every time I see her, but wow what a brilliant and gut-wrenching way to show how much these kids need help.

A Girl and Her Dragon - GIF 

“You’re the man from my dream.”
And what if I were? 
“…You kissed me.”
She felt her heart pound in her ears, flushing at the thought:
all she wanted to do was kiss him again.

A wild gif appears!! Featuring The Back of Kylo’s Head and glorious freckled shoulders. ( ಠ‿ಠ)  I cut up some of the dialogue to keep the post short, but you get the gist of it.

So he was human once, a very long time ago. We don’t know what happened yet. Kylo can appear in this form to Rey only in her dreams, according to @littlemanicmonday