it's-funny-I-swear

honorable mentions: quotes that didnt make it into my recent "the signs as" post

but wAS THE DOCTOR NOrMAN BATES?????

good evening, you dirty homestuck

lmo

i lunch

what are you, a chump

welcome to your tape

i nominate cordy for bucket duty

PENNSYLVANIAAAAAA

you got me. i am a cute polyamorous fuck thats allergic to spice

“Yahtzee” said Dave.

“Oppan Gangnam Style,” her brain said approvingly.

“Bruh,” said Terezi.

🐴esist

“i ship it” bb said blankly.

the score is now Cordy 826, Jacob Asshole.

welcome to scenic Screwup City, population Allison Keith

“fuck up”, see under “shut the”

at least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

i once had a dream that the kid who played rico in hannah montana went to our school

im allison, from gym class
im karina, from hell

imagine if all babies sounded like Cr1tikal

i think i convinced my moms friend to name her son eridan

gay love!

bee communism, and robot communism for that matter,

sleepless in seattle 2: electric boogaloo

yknow i dont think nebraska exists

ava and emma are pyromaniacs, more at 11

dont you >:3c at me young man

how did you know chess the musical was a musical about chess

i hate shakespeare but ive alrready sold my soul to the bard

*someone sends me a video of a furry convention*
this is cyberbullying

okay ive wanted to do this for a while but
guys i gotta come out to you
im
a communist
and a lesbian but more importantly a communist

“disgusting”

beef cheek

bernie will pierce me

DIE COMMIE FUCKER

kisses smorch is a valid fantroll name

i sweater god

sounds like something a daddy dom would say

amelia have you ever heard of a wild concept called church and the redemption of sin

my entire body is in tangible pain!!!

n'y'all

welcome to hellmurder island ill be your concierge

LEEEEEEEEROY NJENKINS

hatsune malfoy

maybe the REAL horcruxes were the friends we made along the way

*soccer mom voice* sorry marlene, you arent daddy material

pumpkin party in sea hitler’s water apocalypse: the real straight agenda

I HAVE WEAK THUMBS, LIZZIE

my name. is will SHAW.

*accidentally flushed my pad down the toilet* well this has gone completely fucking pear shaped, looks like theres no other way outta it. youre going to have to decapitate m

no but listen have you ever actually played russian roulette

dave strider, hatsune miku, and vlad the impaler walk into a bar,

brandon you chicken fried fuck

chapter one; old man megido and the freezer of doom

STEALING MY PHONE WONT CHANGE YOUR INCESTUOUS FEELINGS ANDREW

*blasting metal crusher* fuck me mettaton

hey cordy what happens if i snort pop rocks
“you die”
shit really

fuck you and fuck your dog biscuits!!

young man, are you suggesting we blackmail batman

i identify as an anime character, i promise i am pikachu in my heart

im a fucking winner! a winner!!!!

oh shit its sans undertale
OH SHIT ITS JOHN HOMESTUCK
O H S H I T I T S D I P P E R
G R A V I T Y F A L L S

No Archive Warnings Apply: Aradia Megido/Aradia Megido

fucking mc escher

YOUVE MURDERED US BOTH, YOU SON OF A BITCH, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU

*loudly humming megalovania*
“please”

sbear ov juddice

shes fuckinh whispering the lyrics to funkytown in my ear

*ievan polkka blasting*

taste THIS rainbow!

goddammit janet

b-buddy?

*dani california blasting*

listen. have you ever seen 2001: a space odyssey?
“no”
okay watch it and tell me being in love with hal 9000 is wrong

i warned you about the stairs bro, i told you dog
IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING

ELLLLLLECTRIC LEMONNNNNNN

*screaming* MARQUISE SPINNERET MINDFANG

eat me, lizzie millican!

mushroom dance, mushroom dance, whatever could it mean?
“it means youve lived a life of sin”

*loud and squeakily* aND EVERY TIME WE ToUC H—

DOES ANYONE HAVE THE VIDEO OF ME SWALLOWING RUBBER
“nah”

ha! youre broke!

why is beetlejuice mossy
WRONG CHAT WRONG CHAT

i am the left brain, i am the left brain
work very hard till my inevitable death brain
you got a job to do, you better do it right
and the right way is with the left brains might
I L I K E O R E O S A N D P U S S Y

welcome to antisocials anonymous

*angrily* tHIS is why youre nEVER GONNA BE STAGE MANAGER

*someone sneezes* shut the fuck up

your blood is like a venetian delicacy also send nudes
DIDNT MEAN TO SEND THAT

THOSE ARE MY MINECRAFT PANTIES YOU SON OF A BITCH

we should all go to comic con as homeless people with aids
“no, annick”
ITS BETTER THAN UNDERTALE

im so sorry mr strizzle

“lance lance revolution”
please watch less voltron

im pretty sure thats called cystic fibrosis

Annick DuChateau has changed her name to 4 Entire DQ Blizzards in a Trench Coat

on the count of three everyone kinkshame karina

thats gay charlotte!!!! thats gay!!!!

“and his memes arent funny”
HEY NOW

babbay pullmd close rin the backerseart of yowizr rofetr

WHERE ARE MY HEADPHONES IM GONNA TAKE BLEACH SHOTS

i cant believe brandons a directioner
“i cant believe jacks emo”

cry me a table, linda

*groping an undertale body pillow* kama sutra, siena

*singing off key* oNE RinG to RULE THem aLL

soak me in your finest milks daddy

who is our messiah? … mrs d'angelo (our science teacher)

*brandishing a plastic horseshoe* take it back, fuckboy

i hate the library. everyone hates the library. you know what? heres your three dollars. ill see you in hell

every time you speak, i hear the sound it makes when pac-man dies

rey picks up kylo and dunks him in the trash. fucking obliterated

are you a parking ticket? the future terrifies me

if you cant put an end to moffat’s shit writing you cant put an end of my life

cake. stick it in your hoo-hah

POLICE PUT THE CUMMIES ON THE GROUND

oh you love homestuck? name five of his albums

your room has posters with the dead eyes of Cameron Diaz boring through the souls of all who enter—

sollux feels trapped in a hell of “Wheels on the Bus”

holy shit is that kurt cobain

“yahtzee” said dave

“ahem. undertale”

then im gonna pull out my dads bigass bowling ball like “this is 1/800 the mass of vy canis majoris”

only dumbfucks play magic the gathering

in his free time, reginald enjoys BODY SLAMMING CIVILIANS WITH HIS WHEELCHAIR

YES
EGGSY

blondie screeches to a halt, another comrade fallen

meggers preggers

THE HOT WINGS AVA THE HOT WINGS

lizzie dont name your kid onomatopoeia

annick youre a running joke in my household

i can cut fabric lady but if you wanna see a super special skill i can cut human flesh

you kids with your understuck and hometale

im extra homosexual, but im in love with him. god bless that man. his laugh is my text tone

bellybutton fetish
KARINA ITS FIVE AM

150626 Tablo’s Dreaming Radio – Weekly Ssam D & Gray

Warning: Insults thrown left and right by Tablo and supported by Simon D. Main target is Gray, as usual. This is also really long, like EXTRA LONG!

  • They sang ‘happy birthday’ for the 1 year anniversary of the Weekly Ssam D corner
  • Mithra almost couldn’t be a regular guest because he was boring at first
  • The corner originally started with Simon D appearing once a month and with no Gray
  • Tablo said at the start of the corner, Gray had no presence and Gray said he still doesn’t (Tablo and Ssam D disagreed and said he was like MSG, a necessity)
  • When asked why out of aaaaaaaaall of AOMG he chose Gray, Ssam D said it was because he saw potential, that Gray was a person he loved and wanted to do shows with him because he knew he’d be busy (and doesn’t get to see him much lately because he’s so busy)
  • Ssam D had predicted he’d feel lonely and would want to see Gray so he chose to have him on Weekly Ssam D so he could at least see him once a week
  • Tablo says Gray is good at speaking on broadcasts now and is now an entertainer (Ssam D called him a “radio star”) because he seems awkward as a musician. Tablo says his “gray” whisper in his produced tracks sounds awkward and even appearing in hip hop music videos he doesn’t seem to fit in (because he’s like an entertainer)
  • Gray’s response was that from next week UD (is that how to spell his name?) would appear as a joke

Keep reading

What Cartoon to watch based on their signs.
  • aries: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • taurus: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • gemini: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • cancer: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • leo: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • virgo: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • libra: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • scorpio: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • sagittarius: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • capricorn: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • aquarius: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja
  • pisces: Randy Cunningham:9th grade ninja