it's your future son in law

Never Will I Ever

Summary: You’d waited years to get your soulmark, and when you finally did you realized that you’d never get to meet him.

Word count: 2284

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Angsty

Author’s Note: So this was an idea that I’d had anyway BUT it wasn’t in the plans to be out anytime soon. However, yesterday I found myself on the receiving end of some hate, telling me to give up on writing because I wasn’t good and that I should delete my blog. Instead it fueled me to write this. So, to that anon, thanks for the motivation! And a big thank you to all of you who have been very supportive, it means a lot. Now, I feel like this started out strong but got a little weak near the end, for that I apologize, its 5am and I’m tired…If anyone wants a part 2 let me know and I can absolutely do it.

Tags: @emilyevanston, @goody2shoessmut

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In Which Archie, Having Been Rejected Again by Betty, Decides to Rat Out Juggie as a Gang Leader's Son to Hal Cooper
  • Archie: <storms into the Cooper home, foaming at the mouth> Mr. Cooper!!! You have a right to know!! Jughead is the son of a Southside Serpent!!
  • Hal Cooper: Young man, is this true?
  • Juggie: I can explain, sir....
  • Hal: Oh no need for that my boy! I just don't know why you didn't tell me. Or really, why I didn't notice how very like your father, you are....
  • Archie: <interrupting> How are you not furious, Mr. Cooper? His father is a criminal!
  • Hal: You do know we live in Riverdale, right? Where everyone's shady? But you know what else, you fatuous ginger turd?
  • Archie: I'm NOT fat!!! I got ripped after working for my dad this summer!! I play football!!
  • Hal: okay....you stupid, hypocritical ginger turd?
  • Archie: still don't really know those words, but at least you didn't call me fat
  • Juggie: It's okay sir, I'll explain it to him later...
  • Hal: Not sir, my boy, call me "Hal" or "Dad 2.0" as you young people would say, if you like!!! Anyway, AS I WAS SAYING....I knew your dad in high school, my future son-in-law....when I was a Southside Serpent, myself. Nothing to judge, there. Please stay for dinner, Jughead. Please leave and never return, Archie.
10

IS IT THAT OBVIOUS? 
1.05  //   1.20

i gave the bf one of those picture frames that you can put multiple pics in for his new office. and i filled it with a picture of us, 2 of his family, and 1 of him with his friends. anyway someone just came into his office, pointed at the picture of us and was like “is that your wife?”

and he apparently said “effectively”. y’all i’m screaming cause like:

PB&J headcanons because I love those dweebs

  • One year for hallowe’en Bitty sat on Kent’s shoulders under a really long coat because they decided to dress as a tall person just so they could chirp Jack for once
  • Jack is getting increasingly more nervous about Kent’s demon cat. He checks under sofas before he sits down because he doesn’t want his ankles scratched that much again
  • Kent says swawesome. It’s how the Falcs worked out that he and Jack were together, but they all thought they were the only one to know so they respectfully kept it quiet
  • Bitty sometimes ends up on those “hockey wives” type things that I keep hearing about from y’all and am still not convinced are real
    • Oh man I bet there’s some Falcs/Aces rivalry at some point and Bitty’s in the middle like “I just hope everyone has fun and no one fights”
    • Sometimes Kent shows up because “I’ve got a famous hockey boyfriend too”. He’s great on reality TV
  • When Kent is watching tape, Jack will do everything in his power (up to and including neck kisses) to distract him. Until he finally gives in and decides making out is a better plan, at which point Jack will look at the TV and go “actually this was a really good game” and completely ignore Kent
  • Kent and Bitty have a competition on twitter where they try to take and post the most photos of Jack while Jack is taking a photo of something hipstery
  • Bad Bob pretends to be the disapproving future father-in-law type about Kent because he thinks its funny
    • But only Kent
    • “Mr Zimmermann, what do you think about your son dating two men?” “Well, I’m glad he’s happy. Y’know, Eric is so good for him and they’re going to be so happy together it’s wonderful. And Kent’s alright too I guess.”
    • Jack makes Bob give Kent a special “sorry I pretended to hate you for a joke” cake and absolutely refuses to let him put the word “pretended” in scare quotes
  • All of Kent’s pet names for Bitty are foods. “Cupcake”, “shortbread”, “apple pie”. Sometimes he calls Jack “maple syrup”
  • Sometimes they go on road trips between Providence and Vegas, but they have to avoid the entire midwest because Kent is scared of tornadoes
    • Jack’s like “fine, then we have to avoid the south because I’m scared of republicans.”
    • And Bitty says, “If we’re ruling out states, I’m not going anywhere where we’ll see nothing but corn for more than five hours at once”
    • They have to cross into Canada to make it work
  • Kent and Bitty throw the best forth of july party every year, partly because it’s Kent’s birthday, partly to annoy Jack
  • French. Bitty is competing with Kent to get better at it. Kent actually sucks at french but he is great at fake french and Bits can’t tell the difference it’s actually hilarious
  • No one knows which baseball caps belong to who anymore, they just grab the nearest one and put it on
    • They’re everywhere in their houses
    • Sometimes Jack and Kent end up accidentally wearing merch from the wrong hockey team
  • Kent is a little intimidated that both his boyfriends went to college
  • Joking arguments about the weather. “It’s only because you’re from Georgia” “Nuh uh. Canada is just too cold. Kenny, tell him.” “It’s too cold. Should be illegal” “You live IN A DESERT”
  • If asked, Bitty says he’s only dating two hockey players to double his chances of getting to take a selfie with the Stanley Cup. Or he’s hedging his bets in case one of them loses too many teeth. Sometimes he says he’s just doing it to annoy his grandparents. He’s got a lot of bullshit reasons it’s become a running joke in the media
  • “Don’t you want to live in the same city as your boyfriend?” says the Falcs or Aces GM, every time Kent or Jack are close to free agency. They’re desperate to get the two on the same team again so they can win lots of games and make the third guy on their line feel awkward
  • Bitty beats them all at air hockey
Episode Thoughts

- We now return to Not Wicked already in progress.

- Leading us into Operation: Shoehorn Zelena into a plot she has nothing to do with.

- No friends? Wasn’t Zelena just casually hanging out with the heroes a week or two ago?

- Pancakes will never replace Tacos, Ouat.

‘Piece of wand’, I’m pretty sure Regina wanted to say ‘Piece of shit’ there.

-  Snow: ‘This wedding plot is happening! I don’t care if we haven’t solved or even worked on the current plot!’

- Rumbellers, we now have 2, count em, TWO hugs this season! Aw, we’re a desperate, but fortunately less bitter than usual, bunch.

- And Rumbelle takes turns making out with Blue in an attempt to wake her.

- Sorcerer’s Mansion, aka the Rumbelle Hump-Hut.

- Omg, those are the first pants Belle has ever worn that haven’t been tights or hot pants.

- And the show puts Belle back into her standard duty of watching over everyone else’s spawn. Which I’m sure isn’t awkward at all with her sped up pregnancy and own baby being subsequently kidnapped afterwards.

- Um, thanks for pulling a gun on me, Grandpa Charming. 

- Cool, he’s turning into Cyborg?

- You were freakin’ at the hero’s table like two episodes ago, Zelena!

- Snow wanting to hold the reception at Granny’s reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Homer wanted to use Moe’s tavern for his daughter’s wedding.

- But then, they are limited in sets and I guess holding the wedding at Gold’s shop is off the table for the moment.

‘You dated Frankenstein!’ Yeah, well, you were doing your fake wife while under the curse, stop being so judgy, Charming.

- Trapped, like hell! You two can both smoke-teleport out of places!

- Ah, lion-mauling. Once has grown tired of knife stabbing.

- Oh, a fresh batch of magic crystal dildos!

- And someone’s been stealing from Frozen’s set design, I see.

‘I shall end you once and for all, lady I just met this morning!’

- Suddenly they have an endless supply of magic beans! And somewhere Rumple repeatedly slams his head against a wall.

‘David, your future son-in-law killed your dad, get over it!’

- Finally, some common sense has leaked its way into the episode, thank you, Charming.

- Yeah, Belle can babysit anytime. Not like she’s involved into any plots involving her kidnapped-tortured-controlled son or anything….

- Oh, don’t bother with the wand, Zelena. Just grab one of the dozen of magic beans now available in Storybrooke. Oh, but I guess the tornado is the safer way to travel for you and your infant.

- And shockingly, a black character suffers a terrible fate/death on Once Upon a Time. Didn’t see that coming.

- Way to squeal, Zelena. Somewhere Snow wipes away a proud tear.

- Tough luck, Blue is now property of Gold’s shop. Rumple is charging 25 cents for the local townspeople to get their picture taken with a Comatose Fairy.

Twelve/River fics to whet your appetite

Since the next three and a half months will officially be the longest ever, here’s my rec list of Twelve/River fanfics to read. A good deal of these are M-rated, as we figured the Doctor and River would have a lot of making up to do after 1,000 years on Trenzalore.

Pretty much everything that mygalfriday has penned on the couple, but these three are my diehard favorites:

And from other folks:

And these are the Twelve/River fics I’ve written:

Modern au Les Mis where the barricade is just a hella wild bachelor party for Marius.

Courfeyrac is outraged not to have been made best man because come on Marius we’re best friends and you and Enjolras don’t even get along.

Marius is like yeah but I don’t want this party to get too out of hand you’re amazing but Enjolras doesn’t like parties he’ll keep it toned down I promised Cosette I wouldn’t get too drunk.

It turns out Enjolras takes it way too seriously and the party is the wildest party Paris has ever seen because go big or go home.

Nobody even knows where he got all the furniture from but it got thrown into the street.

Someone thinks it’s the best joke ever to invite the girl who has a massive crush on Marius to the party.

Shit really goes down when someone calls the cops on them for being too rowd and for stacking a bunch of furniture in the street I mean who does that?

Valjean gets wind of it all and decides he has to get his dorky future son-in-law out of that shit before he gets his ass arrested and shows up to the party.

And no Enjolras the ‘Marius has passed out lets dump him in the sewer with an L plate glued onto his head’ was totally not an okay prank to pull.

Enjolras gets himself arrested for refusing to turn the music down because fuck the police. Grantaire staggers in at the last moment because for gods sake Enjolras and gets himself arrested too because its probably considered insensitive to let your boyfriend spent the night in a jail cell on his own.

Marius wakes up with the worst hangover ever.

I just can’t wait to meet next season’s villain on Once

I mean just imagine that he’s like hey Henry i’m your grandpa’s brother’s son-in-law from the future in freaking ep 1

and everyone would just shrug and be like yeah why not we had worse

and then in, like episode 5 or 10, he would be like lol NOPE i’m just a nobody but you guys totally fell for it

and even the characters would be like did NOT see that one coming and the writers would just laugh their asses off-

  • *Set in the future when SQ is canon.*
  • Emma: I still can't believe it.
  • Regina: What dear?
  • Emma: You dated Robin Hood. The Evil Queen from Snow White and Robin Hood. I may never look at a Disney fairytale the same way again.
  • Regina: Seriously?
  • Emma: What?
  • Regina: Emma you dated Captain Hook, the son of Rumplestiltskin and a flying monkey and my dating Robin Hood is what's going to ruin your childhood Disney movies?
  • Emma: Maybe it's just because he dated you.
  • Regina: Well now you're dating the Evil Queen.
  • Emma: Nah, I'm dating Regina. And my sort of sister in law is the Wicked Witch of the West. If Disney only knew.
  • Regina: Says the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming.
  • Emma: Good point. I bet the Grimm brothers would never have predicted this.
  • *Regina laughs before kissing Emma*
  • Regina: Good. This fairytale is ours not theirs Emma.

so many things about this episode broke me ok but the end, omg the end is my favorite because the group is sitting around the mccall table, feeling completely lost and broken as now each and every one of them has lost a loved one to the hunt and they have no idea, no clue where to go from here BUT THEN papa stilinski—the guy who has fought them on all of this from the beginning because he just wasn’t ready to face it yet—comes and tells them about how he now truly and wholeheartedly remembers stiles, and gives them back the hope they had lost, && then he just KEEPS LOOKING TO LYDIA and they keep NODDING at each other as he recounts everything he remembers about his son, so utterly grateful for her in that moment 

like YES thats your future daughter in law sitting right there, thats the girl who has consistently visited your home and refused to give up on helping you remember your son—not just because of how much she herself loves stiles—but because she remembered just how much YOU lOVED him. THEY BONDED OVER THEIR SHARED LOVE OF LITTLE MISCHIEF && ITS THAT LOVE THEY HAVE FOR STILES THATS NOW GOING TO GET HIM BACK

The Father-in-Law

She’s here almost more often than his son, calm and collected and determined in a way that is completely different from Hiccup. She’s a viking inside and outside, he’s seen her lift his son into a chair when his prosthetic had broken or the phantom pains became to much. They can laugh with each other in the meade hall, spar in the forests and plan for the village together and never get bored. She’s strong willed, good humoured and many things he’d always wished Hiccup would be.

Stoick is ashamed to admit that its easier to talk to Astrid than to his own son.

In the early days it had always been Gobber to provide a bridge between Hiccup and him, but nowadays his girlfriend was present to take over that role more often. She was a great help with trying to get Hiccup to concentrate, to listen (if only he listened as well as she did) and to learn. He was a leader in his own right, Stoick could see that now. He felt old, looking at his son, knowing that the new generation would soon surpass the old one and take their rightful place. It made him feel tired, but mostly proud.

But 15 years of awkward silences and heated fights weren’t solved overnight. Hiccup was still Hiccup; different from all the others. Different from him at such a fundamental level that sometimes he’d wished that Astrid, not Hiccup, was his child. She wouldn’t fly away from her responsibility, she would bear the weight with grace, as a true chief.

But he loved his son dearly. Ever since the loss of Valka, Hiccup had been the reason he got up in the morning and the thought that lulled him to sleep at night. But parenting was hard when your son only inherited your bad qualities. All of Valka’s good ones of course, so many of them that it hurts to look at him sometimes because in the right light the fragile boy transforms into the shadow of his mother, and its easy to forget for a minute that she’s no longer in this world. 

But Astrid’s not Valka nor him, just like Hiccup isn’t. His future daughter-in-law will not stand on the sidelines and watch Hiccup rule the village. She’ll probably be there every step along the way, laughing and pushing to achieve more.

On the day Hiccup announces their engagement he almost cries, because he always wished he and Valka would’ve had the chance to have more children. He gives her, not Hiccup, the family axe, and she nods solemnly when he hands it to her. His son smiles at him the next day and he understands too.

He never gets to see their wedding day, or hear his first grandchild’s scream into life. But that’s okay. He made sure that his son, his precious sun, moon and stars, was safe. Astrid would do the rest.

————————————————

I think Astrid and Stoick really got along swimmingly.