it's what got me hooked

People who brag about “hating Snape since they were 8 years old” are the exact reason I will not encourage my children read HP until they are at least old enough to receive their Hogwarts letter. Like, good for you, you totally missed the part where Snape is revealed to have mixed motivations IN THE FIRST BOOK.

Kyle: Well Stan is my super best friend so there’s lots of things I like about him. But if I have to pick one thing it would probably be…he’s always there for me I guess, I mean Kenny can be supportive. And Cartman is……Cartman. So Stan is my one friend I can usually rely on.

Kyle: Kenny is… well I worry about him sometimes. But what’s great about him is that even when really shitty stuff happens to him he almost always bounces back. He has a terrible home life, but always puts on a smile for us. Which in my book is really awesome. Maybe not so much for him but there isn’t much I can do about it.

There are a lot of things I feel about Cartman. I think he’s a fat, short, asshole who doesn’t know how to mind his own business. He’s always ruining shit and getting in the way of of everything. If something bad happens it’s usually because of something this dumbass did. But I figure you weirdos won’t leave me alone until I say something positive about him..So I guess he has nice hair. Are you happy now?

But do you imagine how it would have been much more interesting from a character standpoint to have Regina and Emma time-travel instead of Emma and Hook? Imagine exactly the same ep but with Regina and not Hook.

- Regina seeing her past self and shuddering at how cruelty was second nature to her, Emma gently squeezing her arm to let her know they both know she isn’t that person anymore.

- The ball scene with Regina and Emma. Rumple could turn Regina into a prince temporarily, so the mission goes as smoothly as possible. Except they see themselves as each other. Do I even have to explain that one? Where’s the manip you guys?

- Rumple completely taken aback by Future!Regina. He knows something about her is different but he has trouble pinpointing what at first. Then, being the “perceptive sort”, he realises the fierceness and burning anger in her eyes is gone. He cannot help but ask if she found her happy ending after all. He cannot help but comment on this new Regina. Much snark ensues. Snark contest. Emma just rolls her eyes.

-  Regina magicking Emma an enchanted forest’s outfit and commenting and how unsettling it is to see her in something other than leather jackets. Regina commenting on Emma’s dress at the ball and giving her backhanded/stealth compliments. I would kill to see that.

- Future!Regina meeting Past!Regina. More shenanigans. If you’re not into them snarking each other, I don’t know what is wrong with you. Also, Emma interrupting the argument and the two of them whipping their head towards her at the same time makes for some solid comic gold.

- Regina helping Emma make her parents’ story fall back in the hypothetical where Emma is born shows how much she’s changed and brings this story full circle. She took their happiness and now she’s an active participant in helping their daughter restore it.

- Regina having a conversation with Charming (like Hook did) and since she’s still under the spell, he asks questions about Emma and Regina’s relationship that make her uncomfortable. Hilarity ensues. Just imagine Regina going : “I need to bring her back because of our son.” or “She’s the mother of my son.” or “It’s not what you think. At first we hated each other. Even now, we don’t even like each other. We just try to get along because of our son.” I would lose any semblance of collectedness. Charming’s skeptical face would be priceless : “Wait, these two strangers have a son and one is very keen on saving the other and they seemed very close at the ball but it’s…entirely platonic?”.

Regina ironically saying that it would be awkward anyway if they announced Emma’s parents they were together considering she pretty much destroyed their family. Just picturing Charming’s speech about “making amends” and “it’s never too late” and “I don’t know about your past but the gentleman before me seems pretty honourable” and Regina who would look positively appalled makes it hard for me to breathe.

- Just hearing Snow say to Emma and Regina : “You were Princess Leia and Prince Charles.” “You were Princess Leia and Prince Charles.” “You were Princess Leia and Prince Charles.” “You were Princess Leia and Prince Charles.”

- Colin playing Regina trying to impersonate Hook (if this does not seem funny to you, I don’t what does) and awkwardly calling everyone “mate”, even Snow. Regina knocking Hook out. The end. Regina justifying her actions by saying she has enough of their doey eyes in SB, she’s not going to go through this too here.


- They both decide to save Marian when Regina “rescues” Emma because it’s the right thing to do, after arguing about it because the timeline has been moved enough as it is. Regina complies because she gets to make up a bit for the awful deeds her past self has comitted.

- Regina awkwardly trying to comfort Emma during and after Snow’s death, looking like she’s in agony because she doesn’t know how to and feeling awful that it his because of her, but not her. Emma just realising the full scope of what this Regina can and will do.

- They make the wand work together so no need for all of this extra shit at the end. They just think of Henry and get their cute asses home.

-  Okay, they brought Marian back but Regina agreed to do so, so she’s more mad at herself for getting carried away so quickly in all of this and not taking it easy. No drama, just Emma being super sorry for being the one to have suggested they bring this woman back. And Regina just going “At least I have my son, right Ms Swan?” And Emma just reassuring Regina that Henry’s not going anywhere.

This is not me asking for romantic SQ. But it could have been two women that are still learning how to basically get along time-travelling together. And huge family reunion at the end for everyone.This could have been so much fun and heartwarming like a thousand puppies awkwardly trying to stand on four feet. Instead we got “No homo, yes hetero, much hetero”.