it's too damn high

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( ´ ∀ ` )ノ

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Bonus:

so if you haven’t seen big bang’s secret garden parody this is a really good time to do so because i promise you won’t regret it

Just Another Tuesday on Camp Half-Blood (or, Nico’s Sugar-Induced-Extravaganza)

I know most of you probably think of Brazil as Christ the Redeemer, beautiful forests, Girl From Ipanema and samba/carnival, but do you even know what brigadeiro is? Lmao

Paolo can speak English here for plot reasons. Constructive criticism is welcome!

(Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, humor/fluff, general audiences, 1,351 words.)

Will knew something was wrong the moment he saw Nico bouncing to meet him in the infirmary, where he’d been taking care of boring paperwork with only his siblings making him company.

Nico didn’t bounce. He certainly did not jump around the camp with a content smile plastered on his face, as he was doing now.

He most definitely did not run and hug Will without a reason, much less this publicly. 

Will was frightened.

“Hi!” Nico shouted happily. “I ate brigadeiro!”

Will dimly noted that Paolo entered the infirmary and was running toward them, frowning. He also noticed how fast Nico’s heart was beating, but that could be from the running sprint. Still…

“Is that a drug?”

“No, it’s a dessert!” Nico explained, then got out the hug so he could look at Will. His eyes were huge, pupils slightly dilated, and he had a firm grip on Will’s shoulders. “Will, it’s wonderful! And it’s so easy to make! We could eat that everyday!”

“Hm. I doubt that, honey.”

Nico frowned as Paolo reached them.

“I don’t like honey. Or corn.” He mumbled, but by now Will was looking at Paolo, silently demanding an explanation.

“Will, hey. Listen, I think your boyfriend might have had way too much sugar? He ate, like, half a can of condensed milk, and ate almost all the brigadeiro.”

“The dessert.” Will said, dubious that a food could turn Nico into this.

“Yeah, man. It’s harmless, I swear. I just wanted to introduce a little bit of Brazilian culture to camp.”

Nico’s eyes widened and he gasped, shaking Will by the shoulders.

“Will! If we move to Brazil we can eat that everyday!”

“We can’t speak Portuguese, Nico.” Will reminded him, very patient.

“We don’t need Portuguese to eat.” Nico complained, and Will chose not to reply. He just breathed in very deeply, weighing his options.

“…Okay. Okay. I’m gonna put some water in your organism, and then–”

“No!” Nico whined, and it shut Will up. Nico didn’t whine. Or… pout like this. What was even happening? “I’m so full, I can’t drink anything right now.” 

A second later, Nico straightened his back, his eyes wide and bright at whatever idea he’d just had.

“Will!” Nico whispered, then kissed him, his eyes only half-closed. He tasted like milk chocolate.

Will could hear his siblings yelling “woohoo!” and wolf-whistling in the background; undoubtedly, Nico could hear them too, but his boyfriend didn’t seem to mind for once.

This was it. Nico had to be stopped; Will pushed his boyfriend away.

“Hm, lo– Neeks.” He cleared his throat, rummaging his mind for any good ideas. “Uh, let’s… Let’s go to the Hades cabin, yeah? I’ve been meaning to, uh–”

Nico giggled.

Will.” He drawled out. “I know what you’ve been meaning to do.”

Well.

(Shit.)

Nico hadn’t said it in a quiet voice either, no. He had said it loud enough that Austin and Kayla stopped whatever they were doing and an uncomfortable silence followed.

Shit shit shit.

Rationally speaking, Will knew no one actually thought they were going to do anything other than a kiss on the lips, at most. The entire camp was aware they were probably the chastest couple in history (they were fifteen, for Apollo’s sake!), and that Nico would murder anyone who dared spread false rumors.

But, well, Nico wasn’t exactly himself right now, was he?

And if any rumor reached either Jason or Reyna (or Hazel), Will could start saying farewell to life and deciding what would be engraved on his tombstone.

“Hm–” Will was torn between trying to explain that that was not what Nico meant or throwing his boyfriend over his shoulder and running away from camp forever.

The second option sounded more and more tempting by the minute.

And then Nico threw his hands in the air and yelled:

“Mythomagic!”

Okay, Will had to take him out of here before any more of his nerdiness was revealed or Nico would kill him later. He gave a pointed glare toward Kayla and Austin, who promptly tried to pretend their laughter were coughing fits instead. 

Only Nico was fooled.

“Are you okay?” He asked them, frowning. “Maybe you should go see a doctor.”

“They’re fine, Neeks.” Will mumbled, scowling at them one last time before turning back to his boyfriend. “Let’s go.”

“Hey, ho. Let’s go!” Nico started singing, and Will gently dragged him by the arm toward the door. Paolo, who’d been fidgeting, moved out of their way and shot them an apologetic look, but Will would only be able to forgive him after Nico was fine, so he didn’t bother responding.


In one hour, Nico did more than he usually did in a day.

He decided he wanted to climb the lava wall (”I’m gonna fight it, Will. I’m gonna win.”), so he did just that and did a victory dance afterward. Will had never want to record something so badly in his life, but the moment he saw Sherman lifting a camera, he ran and literally kicked the bastard’s ass, confiscating the object.

Sherman, in a rare wise moment, decided not to argue against the person who patched him up almost daily.

Nico kissed him a lot, as well. It felt as good as it was worrying, because Nico usually wasn’t prone public displays of affection. His eyes started watering when Will pushed him away, though, and it was as if all his energy had been sucked away all of sudden, so Will proposed kisses on the cheek for now and it appeased them both.

Nico also had the sudden desire to listen to music out loud, so they went to the thankfully empty Apollo cabin and put Ramones on the speakers. Nico danced (or simply bounced) until he fell face first on the bed, right beside where Will was sitting, promptly giggling and mumbling it was a comfortable place.

He was asleep within a minute, and Will finally allowed himself to sigh and chuckle a little. He knew Nico was adorable, but today had simply been too much.

In a few minutes, he had Nico under a blanket and was caressing his silky hair. The doctor side of him told him to get up and get some water for when his boyfriend woke up. The rest of him ignored that.

Now, Will would never say this out loud (mostly because it would always sound creepy, no matter what words he used), but he loved feeling Nico sleep (…see? Creepy.), in the sense that he could feel his heart beating and the way all his muscles relaxed.

Nico was peaceful, whole, alive, and getting well-deserved rest when he was sleeping. What was there not to love?

Will only wished it was nighttime already so he could sleep until morning. If he took a long nap in the afternoon, he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep later and would risk staying up all night.

So after an hour and a half of wishing he could take a nap even with the sun up, Will gently poked him awake.

“Neeks? Neeks, it’s time to wake up, man.”

Nico hummed.

“Hey, sweetheart. You awake yet?”

“Don’t call me sweetheart.” Nico mumbled without opening his eyes.

Ah, he was awake alright, and back to being annoyed at and inconvenienced by most things. Will smiled.

“You know, I was thinking. Okay, we can’t move to Brazil, maybe we can have our honeymoon there. What do you think?” Will said, seemingly nonchalant, and watched, delighted, as Nico’s face shifted into poorly concealed confusion and panic (mostly panic), then realization.

Will could see the faintest hint of a blush in his boyfriend’s face before he hid it in the mattress and groaned out loud, the sound pained. He knew Will would never let go of his sugar-induced-extravaganza. Good.

Will just laughed.

Needless to say, Nico’s sugar rush was the perfect advertisement for the Brazilian dessert, which ended up being a success in both Camps, even though Will never let anyone (especially his boyfriend) eat too much of it again.

It was for the best.

Just imagine if Olltii had waited a year and went on smtm4 omfg he probably would have had a heart attack from seeing all the idols

signs as Adam Sandler quotes
  • Aries: I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.
  • Taurus: Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.
  • Gemini: Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.
  • Cancer: Mama says that, alligators are onry cause they got all them teeth, but no toothbrush...
  • Leo: Stop looking at me swan.
  • Virgo: and she showed me her boobies and I liked them too!
  • Libra: I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?
  • Scorpio: Sorry I’m not better looking.
  • Sagittarius: Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.
  • Capricorn: It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.
  • Aquarius: Now that's what I call high quality H2O.
  • Pisces: Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.

How to Be a Landlord in San Francisco

A fact about Frisco living is that we deal with a predictable litany of questions when we encounter someone from outside our urban womb: “You’re from San Francisco? How are the gays?” Or: “You’re from San Francisco? How are the earthquakes?” 

But nowadays, instead, I get: “You’re from San Francisco? How are the evictions?” Evictions are the new earthquakes.

These days, San Francisco’s gonzo housing market is international knowledge. And yet, an unspoken truth about San Francisco housing is that the easiest job in the world is to be a landlord here. On the list of easy jobs, it edges out press secretary for the Secret Service, where the only words you ever get to say are, “That’s classified.”  

I would know what an easy job it is because I am a San Francisco landlord. That’s why I started Small Property Owners for Reasonable Control as a PAC of insignificant landlords. We are small landlords (we own four or fewer rental units), and we support tenant protections, rent control, and limits on evictions because, as landlords, we know we’ve got it way too good.

Ten years ago, I bought a house in North Bernal with an in-law unit using a down payment I inherited and a mortgage I shouldn’t have been allowed to get. You know the kind of mortgage that caused the housing bubble and wrecked the world economy? I had one. Then, through no acumen of my own, my neighborhood became the Hottest Real Estate Neighborhood in America™. I got out of my sketchy mortgage and into a low-rate 30-year fixed because my home value rode a wave of appreciation fueled by the relentless power of startup pixie dust and tech VC hot air.

Now, because it is so groovy and desirable and close to the Google (and Apple and Yahoo and Genentech and Facebook) buses, no one I know can afford to live in my neighborhood. So instead of having friends nearby, I get to charge obscenely high rent. I don’t want to charge obscenely high rent. I’d rather have friends.

Continue

Every time I like a religion I find another one that has some good points…
—  white woman, in Boulder, on religion

Okay so Nickelodeon K-Pop show…… It’s supposedly going to be like Glee…… And Nick Cannon is co-producing it…… If you don’t know who Nick Cannon is just know that he hardly seems the type who would know anything about kpop at all…… So I’m a little nervous about how they’re going to portray kpop through this thing…….. Ummmmm……. Yeah………………..

anonymous asked:

Im angry. today I wore a crop top & some high wasted shorts bc it's too damn hot outside. my mom said I looked cute, and my 13 year old brother decided that it was okay to say "ahah, slut" to me bc of what I was wearing. I slapped him, and yelled at him, and told him he should never ever use that word to insult a girl no matter what, especially bc I'm his FUCKING SISTER. anyway, he started to cry. my mom heard all this, and grounded ME for making him cry. my brother didn't get in trouble at all

Some parents don’t like it when their kids scream and hit each other, that’s just the way it is. Even if the other child was in the wrong initially, she’s gonna want to punish you for hitting him. He’s a dumb kid, and you should never stop reminding him to never shame girls like that but don’t expect your mom not to ground you when you hit him. Mothers do that. Just because she grounded you doesn’t mean your ideas weren’t right, he needs to learn to not call girls sluts.