it's taking everything in me not to fall asleep at this keyboard right now

alright i was gonna save this to be a big surprise but this story’s too good to pass up

buckle up yall this one’s a long one

so right now i’m working on something i call a Slow Sequence, which is just the parts of jack and casie that arent just jack and casie lost in the woods. they’re top down more traditional rpg segments where you can manage your inventory, relax, and engage in some good old wholesome messing-with-casieisms

here’s an early look:

i’ve been working on this for the past week now and i’ve basically got them ready to go, ready to replace the existing shop sequences with an entirely new screen that allows you to do a little exploration and conversation before you get back out into the world and into Fast Sequences (the normal game). this morning in particular i was working in over drive. probably because i’ve been working my ass off on commissions and i might be in a like, productivity frenzy

i managed to crank out a new tileset i liked, some new dialogue, developed a vision for Casie’s Outpost (it’s probably not actually called that, but it’s the outpost that casie lives at, so let’s call it that for now) (it’s either that or “outpost 22″ which just doesnt make any sense yet so like lesser of two evils here) in a couple hours

and then i ran out of memory.

gm8.1 has a very particular quirk that i like that makes it really good at rapid prototyping and it’s that it saves all of the shit you do to ram instead of the hard drive. this means that you can start a game really fast without having to wait for an entire new save cycle and recompilation which makes it really good for brute forcing code, which is basically the breadth of my programming playbook. hit it over and over until it works. unfortunately, hitting things over and over will eventually (read: after 4+ hours of work with very large files) swamp gm’s alotted memory, and cause gm to lock up. but running out of memory is a hunter not unbeknownst to its prey. i have a contingency. my contingency is to save immediately, and have backups in case something goes wrong. which sometimes it does.

i would say it’s like a 90/10 chance

anyway, today this corrupted my file.

and corrupted my automatically generated backup save file. 

because i accidentally hit the save button twice.

this was about an hour and a half ago. yes, the filename for this subproject was literally just called ‘fuck’. that was the word that was on my mind at the time. i dont think i was upset or anything i was just like ‘fuck’ but like, thats how i always am. the intention was to just import the project into gms and then merge it wholesale with the main jack and casie project, so the title of the 8.1 version mattered very little. you should see the rest of them. i have 4 files called temp0 through temp4 and some of them are just backups of the same file

anyway, if i had just failed to save or something (or just closed the window without trying to save) i would have lost 30 minutes worth of work. but because i took my shots, i lost weeks of work. like, the majority of the month of february. there’s supposed to be a demo out in march. march is in 7 days.

i went to bed and began to rethink my options. and also fall asleep, because i have been up for like 19 hours and i had just eaten and basically i was a mess of debuffs at that very second. fortunately, because i am a big fuckin showoff and enjoy rubbing my shit in people’s faces, i had a cache of shit lying around on discords and slacks and line chats i guess that i could just re-integrate back into my tileset proper but that would still leave me without the conversation engine which is stupidly robust and involved and took the majority of the time (the rest of the time was like, not even drawing the tileset: more like working out what the fuck non-enemy things would look like in jack and casie) i had spent on coding fuck.gm81. i had already done it once though so i had worked out the theory, so i just had to do it again. which i could do! it would just take all day.

there’s an exhibition tomorrow. and i was falling asleep. it was at this very second i realized that my mistake in accidentally pressing a finicky touch keyboard button twice had actually ruined pretty much everything, and decided to actually fall asleep in order to hide from my problems

so i laid there for like 45 minutes, ostensibly trying to go to sleep. not even really mad at this point or even like upset. more like that perfect trance like state of being simultaneously so infuriated but also so completely defeated that youre aware that raising a hand at all in protest is a waste of energy so instead you decide to just fuckin sit there, grimacing, trying to will a solution into existence

game maker studio has an import function that pulls information from a .gm81 file. it’s kind of finicky and kind of weird because it reads every asset one at a time and imports them one at a time so it’s kind of slow but you get to see a nice big bar that fills up as gms works its way through your file. it’s pretty satisfying. also, fuck.gm81 wasn’t an empty file. it was like 92kb or something. it wasnt corrupted in that it disintegrated or something and all the packets were destroyed, it was more like something was just being read wrong by gm8.1

i realized this all at once. i then realized i was screaming

importing it to gms worked

not perfectly, but well enough

i could fix a broken system in a heartbeat. or at least faster then i could build a new one.

the biggest problem is the obvious corruption. apparently, because i ran out of memory building backgrounds, the backgrounds are what got corrupted. in particular the main tileset that i had been working on for the past couple days had completely been replaced by just a sheer 255 255 255 black. but more importantly all the new art i had done for casie and company are OK, and my code is OK, and after a little digging i found a screenshot i had posted around of Casie’s Outpost in development

and now i just have to

rip my own

pixel art

but it beats doing it over again!

anonymous asked:

Sea mechanic is wonderful and pure just girlfriends being so supportive of each other??? Luna being low-key fascinated by all of Raven's science and tech and Raven being like "all that spiritual stuff pfft so dumb but pls tell me everything right now" both of them being SO INTO EACH OTHER'S STUFF EVEN IF THEY DONT GET IT AT FIRST

Raven falls asleep on the swivel chair in front of the computer and wakes up to the sound of Luna whispering, “computer, show me the jungle. Computer, show me the stars. Computer show me the ocean.” As the screen flashes with images of deep space and the roaring sea, Luna can’t believe the universe is so big. She had never known how much STUFF there was to see. Raven is amused and rolls her chair over to be beside Luna, who is staring, wide-eyed, at a video of a volcano erupting.

“Technology is amazing,” she breathes. “Will that rocket really be able to take you into space?” Raven gives a soft, airy laugh.

“Yup.” She and Luna exchange soft smiles before Raven pulls the computer keyboard away from her companion and out in front of her. “Have you ever seen the moon up close?” The woman shakes her head, although there is a glimmer of fascination in her eyes that gives Raven a rush. “Here, look.” She searches the computer for photos and videos of the moon, each more high def than the last. Luna’s face lights up.

“It’s incredible,” she says. Her face wrinkles in curiosity. “How does it get its light?” She asks, turning her head to the side. “The stars and the sun burn with fire but the moon doesn’t. How is it so bright?

Raven will sit for hours and explain the way the sun’s light is reflected off of the pale surface of the moon. She will talk about how it orbits the earth and how big it is and Luna will drink it all in. Raven eventually mentions how the moon moves the tides of the sea and Luna will smile, thinking to herself how this woman is a moon of her own: Fractured and bright and beautiful. This cosmic girl sways the ocean in her. Luna never knew how much she could love the moon.

What Yet May Be

Author’s note: I was going to try to post this for an appropriate day of Iris West Week, but I didn’t get it done for the first day I meant to post it and I’m not sure I’ll be able to post it for the final open day. So I guess it’ll just be posted as a sort of unofficial entry!

Title: What Yet May Be

Rating: PG

Synopsis: Iris unexpectedly finds herself in the future, seven years after her death at the hands of Savitar, and finds out what happens to the people she loves in her absence.

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Not an ordinary damsel || 0.1

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is one of CCPD’s best detectives, and Barry Allen being the only one in the forensics department, causes them to interfere with each other more than they like. You see: Y/N and Barry doesn’t like each other so much. But when Y/N suspect Barry to be the Flash, she gets herself into a bit too deep trouble.

Pairing: Barry Allen x Sarcastic!Reader

Warning: Zoom’s involved, therefore we don’t know about Kid-Flash yet, and Jessie Quick isn’t a speedster yet either;) And to those who are sensitive to swearing ‘n such, I’m sorry?

A/N: So because I have tons of requests, I will mash some of them up if I think they will work out nicely (and hopefully they will!). In this case, I hope it’s ok for you, galactichoran and lisagust14 <33

ϟϟϟϟϟ

“Allen, you need to run a test for me!” Y/N strode over to Barry’s desk and slipped the little plastic bag right in front of him to catch his attention – as if the yelling hadn’t done its work.
“What for, detective Y/L/N?” Barry said through gritted teeth, the knuckles of his fists turning slightly white.

“Well, I would use my own, but my machine broke down last night,” she said with a fake pout.
“I’ll see what I can-”
“Good, I need it the second lunch is over. Thanks, Allen,” with that she left. And Barry’s annoyance came out with a deep sigh. Gee Y/N, thanks. It’s not like I have other things to be done as well, no no, I’ll clear my schedule…

Y/N sat by her desk, a half-eaten Belly burger by her side while she was working hard on the questions she would be asking the neighbor of the late Miss Graham. Out of nowhere, a paper attached to one of her pieces of evidence was dumped in front of her – almost into her fries.

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Accismus [Part 4 ; V]

{{ noun // the pretended refusal of something one keenly desires }}

You fell in love with happiness.

Angst, Fluff. Slice of Life AU. 1,619 words.

Part 1 / Part 2Part 3 / Part 4 || video.

❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁ ❁


Is it possible to have a missing heart when the boy who stole it never even knew he had it all along?

You bring your work home and call in sick for the past three days, moping around your apartment and cuddling into your blankets. But everything is wrong. Everything is bleak and cold. You miss your sunshine. Is he doing okay? Has he been playing his guitar and sending smiles to everyone once again? Has he been eating? Is he watching cartoons right now and making ramen? Does he ever think of you? Will he forgive you? But, most importantly, is he happy?

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11. things you said when you were drunk

I made a promise to fix this supercorp one after dropping that angst bomb on yall


“Miss, you can’t go up there.”

Kara huffs, jerks at the ends of her jacket and- tears it. “Lena, she said- Lena said I could go up there whenever I want.”

“It’s midnight ma'am.”

What?” Kara snorts, “No. I just.” Her glasses slip down her nose, and they creak when she shoves them back up. “I went to the- the,” Kara leans forward across the counter, taps at the security guard’s badge, “space bar at four and left in like, five minutes tops.”

“The space bar, right. Okay miss, you need to leave.”

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Reasons to Smile
  • 1
  • The way the sky turns colors so that everything but the horizon is like a pastel rainbow
  • 2
  • The feeling of a warm drink sliding down you throat when you are really cold and how you can feel it all the way to your stomach
  • 3
  • Smores. And melting marshmallows and then accidentally lighting them on fire so that you kinda run around with a flaming stick but then it tastes better anyway
  • 4
  • Jumping in a pool and freezing but laughing because "oh my sweet son of odin its so fucking cold" but its summer and no one expects anything from you when you swin
  • 5
  • Climbing through the little forests you can find just about anywhere and hearing the twigs crunch beneath your feet and discovering this little land inside the big scary lands
  • 6
  • Milkshakes at three in the morning. And being so tired that you spill it a little but thats okay because you can just lick the cup
  • 7
  • The way you can remember someones smile even with your eyes closed and how that smile makes you smile and its kinda crazy and you might have a crush
  • 8
  • When you actually have a crush and you are all tingley in their presence and you stutter on words but they kinda just smile in a way that makes you too happy for words and when they look at you with that goofy grin you can actually feel a tug in your gut and it kinda hurts but its a good hurt
  • 9
  • When you blast music through your headphones so loud that outside noise is gone and its almost like you disappeared into space so then you dance around your room because no one is watching you and no one cares
  • 10
  • Going to a public place and just sitting there and watching all the people going about their daily lives and you realize that seriously no one cares so then you go a little easier on yourself, at least for a little while
  • 11
  • Sitting on a blanket outside really late at night because the grass has already gotten wet but the stars are visible right now even through the haze and fog and you just have to see them
  • 12
  • The smell of a new book and the smell of an old book and the little rush of excitement you get when you open a new story because its a little world that you can shove into your unorganized-to-the-point-of papers-stabbing-you-in-the-arm bag
  • 13
  • How everything is funnier at two in the morning and sometimes when you are up with someone else you just kinda tell them everything and they kinda tell you everything and then all of a sudden you are best friends and its a nice feeling thats settling in the pits of your stomach
  • 14
  • The way your favorite stuffed animal (and don't even tell me you don't have one) fits perfectly in your arms and you would never tell someone that you have this bear but you named it and you have had it since practically birth and you love it like its your family.
  • 15
  • A babies laughter. And the way it can without fail make you seven million times happier because babies are cute as fuck and even if you dont like children you have to admit that babies are the most adorable things to ever grace this earth ever
  • 16
  • Taking a really long walk with someone you have known for a really long time. And in the beginning its kinda normal and "oh how are you?" "Im good" conversations but by the third street name you already forgot, you are talking about salsa chickens and the patriarchy like they are completely sane analogies and you think you might have found someone who is there for a brief forever
  • 17
  • Watching every episode in a season in a day. Then feeling unconventionally proud of yourself because "do you know how many bathroom breaks i sacrificed?" And the show was super awesome. Then not being able to watch anything else because all you can think about is this universe that you were just watching that you so want to go to
  • 18
  • Pretty rooms. Rooms with nice decorations and comfy furniture and everything is so nice and clean that you almost want to clean your room so you can make it look like this but you are not quite that motivated.
  • So instead you stalk weird design blogs and slowly plot out things for your future apartment
  • 19
  • Skype calls with your favorite people that are so long you fall asleep on the call together and the first thing you hear when you groggily pull yourself off you keyboard is their rhythmic breathing
  • 20
  • Finishing a project you stayed up all night to finish. Just accepting your fate of the grade thats probably not as good as it could have been but fuck it, you finished a four week project in eight hours and you deserve a medal. But then kinda being really proud of the project even tho its probably a mess because you somehow made something out of nothing at 4 in the morning
  • 21
  • The smell of your best friend/ crush/ possible soul mate that you can only smell when you are hugging them so tight you can feel their heartbeat in your fingertips and your face is curled into their chest
  • 22
  • The smell of clothes fresh out of the drier and the way they are so warm and soft. So you just kinda lay underneath them like some giant monster of cuddles sat on top you and its wonderful
Passions...

“Up at this time again?” Harry’s deep voice breaks the deafening silence she’s been sitting in for the past two hours and fourteen minutes. Two hours and fourteen minutes, sat in their home office chair that probably has the dent of her butt on it by now. Y/N hears him, and even though she’s just staring at the screen, racking her brain for the right words to come to live, she chooses to disregard the comment, like she’s been doing for the past two weeks.

She takes a sip of her coffee without removing her eyes from the brightly lit screen. Harry’s sigh is weak, and usually he would give his neck a scratch and keep on walking back to the comfort of their bed, but this time he refuses. As tired as he is, sleeping hasn’t been the same since the spot next to him has been replaced by nothing more than an empty space. Sure she’d make her way to bed eventually, but it wasn’t the same. He’d be asleep, unable to whisper to her how her warmth during the night time soothes him more than she could imagine, how at that time, in that bed, she makes him feel comfortable, feel whole. And he really misses having her so close to him, able to feel the warmth radiating between their bodies. Misses absentminded kisses, misses rubbing the small of her back and cooing sweet words into her ear and making her giggle because ‘Haz, that tickles,’ but she wouldn’t shoo him away. He misses pointless pillow talk where they go back and forth telling each other silly jokes only they find funny. More than anything, he misses her presence, even if they aren’t talking, just laying in bed, because never the less they’re with each other.

He reaches her desk and closes the laptop shut.

“S'three in the morning, poppet. What could you possibly be doing tha’s more important than sleep? You love sleep!” He lets out a yawn and knuckles at his eyes, trying his best to keep himself up and coherent, determined to get her back to bed with him.

“M'trying to finish…” She trails off. “Never mind, just go back to bed. I’ll be there soon.” And opens the laptop back up.

“Wha'ever it is, it can wait, kitten. Now come to bed, please. I miss you.”

Her eyes flutter to his face for a second, for the first time debating leaving her work undone as she sees his pouted lip. And Harry can be very convincing, not that it took much, seeing as he knows he’s got the upper hand when he looks at Y/N the way he is doing right now. You see, Harry has a way with words. Words that’ll get him anything he wants in a matter of seconds. And when he looks at you, with glossy green eyes, and pouty pink lips, it’s very hard to deny him what he wants.

But still, there’s only one person who doesn’t always fall for his charm, even if it’s only ever been about twice. “I can’t, Harry. I have to get this done tonight!” And just like that she breaks any small eye contact they had for the first time in a while during the vulnerable nights.

“Baby, I know you’re tryn’t finish up your book. But s'late.”

“Haz, just please let me finish it. I just have to figure out the ending for it, it has to be perfect.” By this time she’s typing furiously, like the idea she’s been waiting for finally made its way and she’s got to absolutely let it out before it slips.

Harry must admit he gets a nice feeling from knowing how dedicated Y/N is when she does something. Enjoys the times they’re both working in their study, and he’ll look up at her from his book to find her typing away, a crinkle on her nose when she’s concentrated, or a furrow of her eyebrows when she’s frustrated.

And normally he would sit and observe, because he never really minds the view when it’s her he’s looking at. But it’s late and he was feeling very lonely in their upstairs bedroom, staring at the ceiling and wondering if Y/N would be up any time soon.

“The ending where everything gets resolved innit? Y/N, I know you want all your books t'have that fairy tale ending. But sometimes it just doesn’t work.”

Harry doesn’t mean to be harsh, she can take it as helpful criticism. But the clicking sounds of her fingertips hitting the keyboard come to an abrupt halt.

“Is that what you think? Sometimes we should just give up and take what we get?” Y/N’s tone isn’t an angry one, but it isn’t a jolly one either. And if she’s being quite honest, she might be a tad disappointed at what he’s just inferred.

“No, s'just. I just…I don’ get why you always want for your books t'end the same way.”

At this she stands up, but doesn’t say a word. Her expression says it all, and Harry’s quick to make his way around the desk to wrap his arms around her.

“No, no poppet. S'not what I meant.” His lips connect to her forehead before taking her face into his hands and Y/N sets her hands on is waist.

“Haz, I don’t want my books to end on a happy note. I need them to. I need people to believe in something. If there’s anything I’ve learned through the years of writing, is that characters come to life. And they mean something to someone. Whether it be just one person.” Just thinking about it now makes her smile. She continues. “I need my readers to believe that things aren’t always rough. The journey may be yes, but my writing is my passion. And through it I want to give people a happy ending they may think they can never achieve.”

Before he knows it, he finds himself smiling just as big as she is. And at this moment he realizes that he’d been asking himself the repeated question of ‘Why always a happy ending?’ But never asked her just exactly why.

“M'sorry, love, I didn’t know.”

And it is right at this moment that he realizes, as he stares at her.

“This is one of the many reasons why I fall in love with you every single day, y'know.” The words just above a whisper slip out of his lips so soft, confident that those exact words are meant for her and only her.

She leans up, softly touching her lips to his, reminding herself now just how sacred their nights are. The kiss only gets deeper before she finally pulls back just enough to where she can whisper a faint 'I love you.’

At a quarter past three, they’re finally making their way into their bedroom, where he’s forgotten how tired he was to show her just how much he loves her.

Just; C.H. 19

Only like 3-4 parts left before it ends.. (Could be five?)
Thank you for reading this, I enjoyed writing it. xox

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7** Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18*

“Text him.” Sherilyn pushes me, four bottles of beer and two bags of chips into our girls’ night, and I probably shouldn’t listen to an intoxicated Sher, but I’m just as far gone as she is.
I giggle, holding my hand in front of my mouth. Someone in the back of my brain is screaming ‘no’ over and over again in high pitched squeals, but my fingers grabble for my phone anyway.

I’m all set before I pause. “But what?”
Sherilyn merely rolls her eyes as she snaps the phone out of my hands, her fingers tapping away before she hands it back. Hi.
“Wow, the subtlety you possess blows my mind.” I giggle again and I am just quick enough to dodge Sherilyn’s flailing arm as she tries to smack me across the head.

“Stop trying to make everything so complicated. It’s a guy, guys are the simplest life forms on earth. Don’t make it too hard for them.” Sherilyn chuckles as I shake my head, pulling the blanket further up her legs. It had become chilly now that summer was nearing its end.

“Ah Sher, I’m sure there are simpler life forms than a man. Although I must agree they sometimes have the characteristics of a homo habilis.” I laugh and Sherilyn merely stares at me, which makes me burst into hysterics even more. “Small and primitive man? No?”

“I’m not a nerd like you. I know homo erectus, like every high-schooler does. That’s about it from biology knowledge.” I snort loudly, pushing my bum off of the sofa to get us a refill of beers.

“I pity the boy you have to have coitus with. Poor Ash.” I hear a yell from behind me and I can only laugh, biting my lip as I uncap two bottles of Stella. “Y/n?” Sherilyn yells from the living room and I stalk back, bottles in hand and another bag of chips underneath my arm.

“Calum answered! I see his name on your thingy.” Sherilyn waves my phone in my face and I almost drop the bottles as I feel my heart flutter. Hey
“And now what? I can’t just casually go ‘how are you’ I mean we’ve never been this awkward.” I groan as I let myself drop onto the sofa, phone falling out of my hand to my left. Sherilyn grasps the device in her hands as she stares at the lit up screen.

“I would go with a how are you. I mean you can always ask him to hang out tomorrow and see what it’s like. And probably explain what the Luke-thing was.” Sherilyn shrugs her shoulders as she throws my phone back onto my lap, settling back in her original position as she searches for another chick flick on Netflix.

The movie she had chosen had ended and Calum hadn’t answered. That also meant I tried to find my breaking point of alcohol consumption. And I had almost found it. I know I would be awfully sick in the morning, my stomach already arguing when I let the last sip of my eleventh beer flow past my lips. I look to my right, Sherilyn asleep, laying stretched out on my spacious sofa as she softly snores.

I can’t help that I always get extremely riled up whenever I’m drunk, and I’m sure I will regret what I’m about to do now.
It takes Calum less than a minute to reply to my sext, and I’m actually quite surprised with his fast response, but also offended that he would answer this so quickly.

I wish you had such a dirty mouth when you were underneath me.

I involuntarily bite my lip, my tongue poking out to wet my bottom lip as my fingers hoover over the keyboard. I quickly type a response, a little blush crawling onto my cheeks as I feel the excitement bubble through the pit of my stomach.

Oh baby, not before I’ve had you on your knees xo

I let a small gasp leave my lips at his expertise in sexting. By now my own fingers were rapidly typing away as I felt the urge and need in my core skyrocket. Thank god I don’t have to wait long for a response.

You have no idea how many things I still wanted to do to you

I keep quiet as I simply stare at my phone in shock. If there was anything that had sparked the alarm in my head, it would have been this response. I know this was just playful banter but by now the alcohol had left my system and I somewhat hoped I could lure him in for another time. The hunger and obvious arousal I had felt dissipated as soon as it had arrived. I had blown my chances with Calum.

“Can we talk?” I hesitate to hit send, but eventually I just close my eyes and let my thumb hit the touch screen. Calum may have responded quickly for the past hour, but now I didn’t get any. I waited for a minute, five minutes, fifteen, which turned into an hour before I started to dose off. When I awake, the first thing I do is check my phone, but I come up empty handed.

“What’s wrong? Did Calum agree to talking later?” Sherilyn whispers as she passes me, taking a cup of coffee from Linda’s outstretched hand. “No, he didn’t respond.” I sigh, dropping my phone onto the table and heading upstairs for a cold shower.

                                              ****************

“You’re ready. You can do it Luke, your trial exam was almost spotless. Just stay calm and all will be alright.” I smile, squeezing his shoulders as I stand over him, his body slumped against the seat as he stares down at his ten-centimetre-thick book.
“But what if I am not ready? I could lose my scholarship because of fucking biology.” Luke groans, threading his fingers through his blonde unruly hair before he gives it a harsh tug.

“Luke, we’ve spent almost all of summer revising. I know you’re ready for this.” I close his book for him, Luke pushes his chair back to raise to his feet.
“Thank you for all your help, Y/n. I wouldn’t have done it without you.” I smile as he opens his arms for a hug and I willingly step into his arms, winding around my shoulders as I throw mine around his waist to give him a comforting squeeze. “Welcome, dear. Anytime.”

As we hear the scraping of a throat, both Luke and I slowly pulling away to see Calum in the doorway with a raised eyebrow.
“Hi – uh Cal.” I smile but he just hums in response and pushes past me, his head disappearing into the fridge. The sizzling pop is the only sound in the kitchen, both Luke and I staring at Calum as he appears to be ignorant to the other presences in the room.

“Football practice at five.” He just mumbles before he disappears and I feel a jab in my heart when he’s out of sight.
“What happened between you two?” Luke questions as soon as we hear a door slam closed again, indicating Calum had taken retreat back into his own bedroom.

“I think he knows.” I shrug my shoulders, biting my bottom lip harshly as I try to keep any forming tears at bay. “What? Are you serious?” Luke shrieks as his body swiftly turns towards me, eyes widened as I merely hum in acknowledgement. “I think so. It felt as – as goodbye.” I can feel the tears almost spill over as I redirect my gaze to a blank space on the wall, fingers fumbling with themselves as I wait for Luke to respond. Anything comforting right now would be a blessing.
“But he didn’t say anything about it?”

“Why would he? We were just friends, after all. I’m free to do what I please.” I shrug my shoulders, leaning against the wall as I watch Luke pace back and forth in their small kitchen. I’m surprised with myself that I can keep calm under such circumstances. After a few days of me trying to figure out whatever had happened after that barbecue, and after the sleepover with Sherilyn, I had come to terms with myself that I had royally fucked up and that was it. Now I had to accept it. He was up and about when I woke, nowhere to be seen. Only Luke and Ashton were in the house, Luke needing my tutoring.


“Didn’t you tell him that it was a mistake? That it meant nothing?” I chuckle dryly, keeping the smirk on my face. “Did he ever give me the chance to? I mean, He didn’t even say anything about it. I could just feel it.”

“What happened when you were both upstairs? Calum never came down again after downing a few shots of tequila.” Luke questions as he stops in his tracks, turning towards my resting frame. A soft smile sets onto my lips, my eyes slowly drifted closed as I recap the happened events.

“We uhm – well yeah.” I shrug my shoulders again, something that seems to become a second nature to me by now. “Ah.” Luke makes a noise of acknowledgement as he smirks, but it is wiped off of his lips rather easily when he thinks of everything that happened after.
“You think it was – like – ?”

“Like a good bye of sorts? I honestly believe so. I’m not welcome anymore.”

                                              **************

“Has she been outside in the last days?” I hear Rosalee ask. I stop in my tracks, hiding myself from view as I wait for a response whoever Rosalee is speaking to in the kitchen. I almost scoff loudly when I hear Linda respond in a hushed tone, probably keeping quiet so the loner upstairs wouldn’t hear – me.

“I don’t think so. Sherilyn told me there have been bumps in the road with Calum. Maybe that’s what this is about…” Linda trails off and I can hear high clicking against our flooring. I take a few steps back to make sure they both wouldn’t notice me, my back flat against the wall. All I wanted was another bag of chips and a can of red bull. Maybe it’s true that I’ve sort of been locking myself in my room for the past days, but I just bought a new video game and I was just really addicted to it. That’s all.

“I knew Calum was bad news. I didn’t know Y/n would fall that hard and that fast.” I can hear Rosalee sigh, and I’m having trouble deciphering if she’s disappointed in me or feels sorry for me – either way, I’m not very pleased with hearing two of my closest friends gossiping about me.

“Calum has his charm; I’ll give you that. And I too believed that Y/n would change him. I mean they have been spending so much time together and I heard other girls complain around town how none of them got any luck with the Calum Hood lately, I – well I hoped for the best.”

I feel the tears sting, but I don’t know exactly why. Maybe because just his name brings up wounds I didn’t know existed in the first place, because honestly what was wrong? He just stopped answering my texts, it could just be that when I go back upstairs I receive a message with ‘Sorry I was a dick, having a rough time. Wanna meet up?’ or something and I’m just overreacting.

Or that it actually touched me that he didn’t do anything with another girl while we were … growing closer together. I always had hoped I was the only one he was doing whatever with, but I never expected it. When there aren’t labels involved, it’s quite easy to go with the ever so old excuse – we aren’t together, are we?

“I’m glad she’s going away for a bit. Being around her girls and being carefree will cheer her up a bit. Y/n’s always been someone who feels too intense.” I can just see Rosalee shrug her shoulders as she speaks and I roll my eyes. While I do that, I feel a tear slip down my cheek and I feel my anger bubbling at myself for being so damn emotional in these past few days.

“I don’t think this road trip will do as much good as you’re hoping, Rose. She may act fine, but that little head of hers is filled with worry and doubt.” I curse Linda for knowing me a bit too well.
It’s true that I tend to keep my emotions or feelings to myself. I’ve never appreciated people that shared everything with others, someone where you could read what they’re thinking by just staring at their faces. There wasn’t any mystery and that’s what intrigued me about human beings.

“But she’s someone that knows how to collect herself at record speed. Either way, I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Rosalee reciprocates and I hear Linda laugh in response. “Even if not, I’ll be there to kick that bitch’s ass if necessary.”

I let a tiny chuckle escape my lips as well, shaking my head as I turn back towards the stairs. Once I’ve crept back completely up the stairs, I make a big fuzz about coming down, stomping my feet especially hard to make sure they knew I was coming downstairs.
“Hi Y/n, how are you feeling?” Rosalee smiles at me and I see Linda giving me the same treatment. The first genuine smile in days makes its way onto my lips as I lean against the open doorway.
“Splendid. I was thinking – want to go out for a drink?”

Part 20

cerebrate

summary: an ace and aroflux!phan fic in which they are both writers and the lines of their relationship blur but they’re always happy with how they are.

aroflux: someone who’s romantic orientation fluctuates (so one day they might be aro, the next demiro, and so on).

warnings: very brief mention of alcohol and i think nothing else?

an: i just wanted to write something one night and this is basically a list of fluffy headcanons  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ reblogs and feedback are always appreciated!! <3 (also ty to larkspurlester who read this over for me!! ily)

-

They come together in the spring of their twenty third years, young and vulnerable but alone no longer. A college friend tells Dan about this writer guy, eccentric and dedicated to his writing but working in a small newspaper company. Dan’s not the most keen, but Fabian won’t relent, insists that they meet. They say, “Literally, all I ever hear from both of you is something about writing, and it’s getting old and I can’t appreciate it as much as I’d like,” and Dan huffs, rude, but relents and agrees to coffee. 

As it happens, Fabian has to leave the second he turns up. Considering this was the only factor persuading Dan to go, he deliberates leaving, ditching and apologising later. But Fabian pushes him through the door before they leave with a yell of, “Phil!” and Dan’s helpless, floundering in an awkward sea because of them - not the most articulate thing he’s said, but he’s kind of stuck here. Damn you. The first thing Phil says is an absent apology for stealing his napkin to write down an idea. Dan forgets about hating Fabian and their predicament-inducing qualities.

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I meant to go to sleep early but that didn’t fuckinig happen

Viktor didn’t expect to miss Yuuri quite as much as he did.

Perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised him. From the beginning he’d felt like something was pulling him to stay at Yuuri’s side, from the hot springs on ice contest he’d felt like his heart was beating in tandem with Yuuri’s, from that breath-taking moment he’d thrown caution to the wind and attempted that quadruple flip he knew their souls would never truly separate. They weren’t, even if their bodies were separate, but he still yearned to be by his side.

Makkachin was recovering, thankfully, although the vets had warned him that he may not live much longer. Viktor had been waiting for it, in all honesty. He’d owned the dog since he was twelve, and dreaded the moment that he would no longer be there. He still felt guilty for leaving Yuuri to perform his free skate alone, even though Yuuri had insisted. There had been a strange emotion behind his eyes, and Viktor wondered if it had something to do with the small shrine to a poodle that looked remarkably like Makkachin in one of the family rooms.

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Preference #12 - You Join The Band - Part 1 - Requested

Masterlist

Request

Ashton

I had always been told I had a boyish figure and that my short hair was unapealing, but at least now I can put it to use. I walked into the room with my Keyboard and head held high. Four pairs of eyes with four very different smiles were shown. The first belonged to Luke trying to give the impression that he was not tired and was still interested, his smile was stressed, Michaels was not even trying, Calum…well had a Calum-like smile plastered on and Ashton he looked like the only one paying attention.

“What will you be playing for us today…Mr…” Ashton asked

“Huh? O. Uhh…Y/L/N. And I will be playing a compilation I wrote myself.” My nerves were starting to boil up from my stomach. You will NOT throw up. I told myself. The boys looked completely uninterested, but hopefully my performance would strike a nerve somewhere. I proceeded to play my song as fluidly as I did during my practice and each piece was more difficult than the next. Slowly I started to see the heads of each of the boys rise and stare at me. I knew this was not an audition for singing so at least I would not have to worry about that. The ad simply said that they needed a new instrument mixed in with the regular band to travel with them on tour to prepare some new songs. I came to the end of my performance, which was perfect if I do say so myself, and he manager in the back came forward and asked for my information and I left. To my surprise it was a lot easier than I thought it would have been.

About two weeks passed and I got a call, confirming that I got the job and I would start practicing with them next week at there house in LA. Screaming at the top of my lungs “This is so FUCKING unbelievable!”

Before our initial meeting I had to go through a precautionary makeover. My friend helped me style my already short hair, shop for mens clothes, with the help from some fashion magazines, and I watched her asshole brother all week to get my act down. This was sure as hell not going to be easy, pretending to be a guy that is.

I got picked up at the airport and driven to their place in LA. This place was out of this world, everything about it screamed we are famous and have a SHIT load of money. I knocked on the door and Ashton opened it. At first I didn’t realize, but he had only a towel on. I felt my skin turn red and hot, fast.

“Woah, dude. You ok? never seen such a delicious being before?” He joked. From behind him I heard Michael yell, “Yeah right, delicious as the crap I’m taking right now!” After calming down my initial shock, I started to laugh. This was going to be fun…kinda.

I was surprised to find how accommodating the boys were to getting to know me. I tried my best not to lie, but when it came to the questions about my first kiss, first time, and favorite place on a girl, I had to improvise a bit. The first few days it was a little difficult to remember to talk deeper and walk like I had a dick and balls sticking to my legs, occasionally pulling at my shorts to add to the effect. After awhile it became second nature, but the daily antics with the boys were the hardest.

“LUKE!, Where the hell is my underwear!” I screamed

“I didnt do it!” He retorted

“You my friend are full of shit, give it back!”

“If you want it so bad you can take it off of me right now”

I rubbed my hand to my head and smoothed the ever growing forest of wrinkles I had on my face. “Fine, keep them.” I told him, so done with having to got out and get new pairs every two weeks and having to strategically hide them. I turned to go the the kitchen when I ran into Ash. As of now I was the shortest one in the band which I can imagine made him a little more than happy. “Guys, today we drink!” He declared as he held up to plastic bags full of beer and liquor. “This time you have to join us Y/G/N” Michael said. I had made a point not to drink with them for the fear of them actually finding out, but I didn’t have time to think as I heard a bottle open and Ashton pushing my the opening to my lips.

“Yuck! What the fuck!” I told him, but they all laughed.This was not good.

“You never drink with us.” Calum wined

“Its a bonding experience, you have to participate.” Michael chimped in finishing his first one.

“Fine, just a little.” I added.

The next few hours were filled with laughter, screaming, short scuffles, crying, and to end the party, three pasted out boys. God I do not know how I made it, but that plant to the left of me would definitely be dead tomorrow. Ashton and I were the only ones still awake. I got up off the floor and said “I’m going to bed. You good?” he nodded in response and I headed to my room. I closed the door behind me and headed for my bathroom where I un-gelled my hair and pulled off the binding around my chest. There was one good plus that came with pretending to be a guy and that was not having to shave. I felt gross though, I think my leg hair had finally reached its maximum length. I put on a big t-shirt and climbed into bed. As I was starting to fall asleep I heard the door creak open and my eyes shot open. I turned to see Ashton stripping off his clothes and joining me in bed. “Ashton, what are you doing”

“Sleeping with you obviously.”

“Why?”

“I dont know”

“Can you leave, I like my space and…” before I could finish he was attacking me and his hand landed on my boob. I looked at him and he looked at me. Our eyes both wide open and sober as hell. “Well shit.” both of us said in unison.

Calum

Alright, I just have to walk like a boy, right? How hard can that be? Ok I admit it, it’s hard to walk like you have a dick and balls when you do not have a dick and balls. Besides that, I just have to audition for the band, and not get distracted by their complete and total hotness. That’s probably harder than imitating having balls and a dick…

“Hi…” I said in a low voice walking up to the stage with my case. I saw them all looking at me, Ashton with a big, friendly smile, Michael like he was bored, Luke like he was just slightly uncomfortable with having auditions and Calum with his big brown eyes that I almost got caught up in.

“Hey, just play whatever…” Ashton said with a friendly smile. Alright… Just play something… I sat onto the stool on the small stage taking my keyboard out. That’s what the ad was for…

“Just whatever?” I asked again in the low voice.

“Anything!” Michael said with enthusiasm.

“Alright…” I sighed biting my lip looking down at the keys. I brushed my fingers over the keys, I didn’t try to sing. I couldn’t sing that low. When I started my fingers started flying over the keys playing with everything I had. I just wanted to be in their band. I just wanted to make it. The hard part was obviously not letting them know I was in fact a girl.

“Damn…” Calum said in a hushed voice in the silent room. I looked up at him from the keys. He looked wowed. I folded into myself, as if I could hide from facing them.

“We’ll let you know about the audition…” Luke said asking for my number. I nodded handing it over. I said my name was Jamie, I think. Something like that. Then I grabbed my keyboard and thanked them before leaving. I was probably too quiet. Way too quiet.

A couple weeks later, I got a phone call from a number I didn’t have in my phone but I just went and answered it.

“Hi,” I said in my normal voice.

“Huh? Mate, you ok?” I heard a male’s voice on the end say.

“Huh?” I repeated, still talking normally.

“It’s Calum.” He said and I made some form of gagging noise as I tripped over myself to get away from my friend. I dived out into my room slamming the door shut. “Mate?” He said again.

“Sorry, what’s up?” I said in a more gruff voice.

“Why was your voice all girly?” He asked sounding concerned.

“I have a throat thing…” I said in the low voice.

“Sorry, but this is Jamie, yeah?” He said talking.

“Yes,” I said.

“Well, if you want, you’re in the band.” He said happily.

“Oh my god! Awesome!” I cried out somehow managing to keep my girl voice from coming out.

“Yes! You’re in?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright, come by the same venue you auditioned in later, if you can. We want to start running over our songs…” Calum said excitedly.

“Ok! See you then!” I said and he laughed. After that rehearsal, I spent the next few weeks perfecting their songs before we went to London. And we were living together. Except I was a girl. And they still didn’t know…

How the fucking hell am I gonna shower? Get dressed? Fucking shit.

Alright, I need like a system. I’ll just shower in the middle of the night, after I make Luke clean up his damn mess. I survived for like a month and I managed to be clean. You know what, I miss make-up, I miss skirts, I miss having skinny jeans that let me move, I miss wearing cute blouses, I miss not shoving my hair into a wig, I miss not needing side-burns, and it’s hard being a guy.

I softly padded into the bathroom. Putting bondage around your boobs makes them so sore like holy hell. I slowly unraveled it sighing in relief oh my god. I grabbed my girl shaving cream and my razor from under the sink and started the shower. I grabbed the wax from the medicine cabinet. I tugged the wig off my head and let my hair tumble out. I would do anything for this gig, except cut off my hair. I stepped into the shower. Favorite part of the day.

Just when I was lathering the conditioner into my hair, I heard the door open.

“Hey, sorry mate, gotta take a piss…” I heard someone saying. I peeked out of the shower curtain. It was Calum, standing next to the toilet with his rather impressive dick hanging out. Oh come on, I was already trying not to be attracted to him for the last few months. But god damn, his hair was disshelved and everything… I was trying not to swoon.

“Uh… could you leave?” I asked in a low voice.

“What?” He said turning to me. “What’s with your hair?” He said stepping closer shoving his dick back into his pants. “Huh?” He said and suddenly he ripped the shower curtain back.

“Calum Hood!” I cried in my girl voice grabbing my towel and wrapping it around myself in a rush.

“You’re a fucking girl!?!” He hissed. He no longer looked drowsy, nope, he was wide awake and incredulous.

“You do not just rip the shower curtain away!” I cried still talking like a girl.

“You’re a girl?!” He said still whisper-yelling.

“I am a girl! God damn it! And I am just in a towel you pervert! Get out!” I cried pushing him back as I stepped out of the bathtub.

“What the hell?” He said.

“I am a girl. My real name is Y/N. Gimme a minute and I can explain!” I said pushing him out. He barely budged.

“Oh thank god!” He said dropping his hands on my shoulders.

“What the fuck does that mean?” I said watching him lock the door.

“It means you had me questioning if I was gay!” He said pushing me back into the counter.

“How the fuck did I pull that off?” I asked defensively.

“You make an absolutely crap guy.”

“I’m sorry I don’t have a dick. I can’t do the walk right.”

“You have a sexy ass too, and how’d you manage to hide these?” He said brushing his fingers over the top of my chest.

“Calum Hood, what the absolute fuck are you pulling?” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

“Hmm? I’m sorry, but I really like you better as a girl…” He mumbled.

“You can’t tell anyone…”

“Not even the guys?”

“Especially them… I don’t want to get kicked out of the band…” I sighed.

“They’re my best mates!”

“I know! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Sorry won’t cut it.” He said in a husky voice.

“Cal… I just… I want to stay in the band and now you all think I’m a guy…” I starting saying but he kept shaking his head at me.

“So this would be our secret?” He whispered between us.

“I guess…”

“You had me liking you even though you were a guy… Now that I know for sure that you’re a girl… well…” He said in his raspy voice.

“Calum?”

“Did you like me? You kept staring at me…” He whispered.

“I uh…”

“Oh come on… tell me how do you feel about me?”

“I might have liked you…”

“Might? I don’t really think it was might…”

“No?”

“I think you’re standing there and you want to kiss me. I think you’ve thought about kissing me every time you’ve looked at me.”

“Calum Hood, don’t get cocky…”

“Honey… You better start wanting to kiss me.”

“I’m only in a towel!”

“Makes it easier for me.”

“Pervert.”

“Uh huh, but I’ll keep your secret, provided when you’re a girl, you’re my girlfriend, and I can find the cross-dressing super creepy and weird.”

Michael

Currently I am vomiting of a tour bus with four boys on it. Why you ask? Because I am stupid as shit. About a month ago I had my regular gig at a bar on S/St. and apparently the boys from 5SOS had seen my performance and liked it. I got a call from my manager a week later asking it i wanted to come and write music with them and or course i said yes. I mean the pay was amazing. Now i think it was not worth it at all. I am not meant to be on a bus with four boys that do not clean after themselves. Also, to add a cherry on top i have to dress like a guy. I didn’t agree to that…well maybe i did. I kinda just signed the contract without reading it when i saw the pay I was getting. My thinking was stopped when i heard Michael at the door. “You ok, I got some medicine if you want it.” After pulling my head out of the toilet and checking myself in the mirror I opened the door and just said “Thanks”. I didnt mean to be short with them, but this isn’t what I MEANT to sign up for. I sat on the couch watching Luke and Calum battle it out over a video game when Michael sits next to me.

“Motion sickness?”

“No, I’m just allergic to the decor on the bus.”

“Well no need to be sassy, Y/N.”

I sighed “I don’t mean to, but this isn’t what I want. I know that sounds mean, but its just this is a lot.” Michael l gave me a questioning look, so added on, “a lot of noise, a lot of people, a lot of work, a lot of no sleep, and a lot of mess.”

“I kinda feel bad that you feel this way. We just thought that you would really like this, I mean if I was you this would be so much fun, so I guess I don’t get it.” I looked at him like really. “I AM A GIRL!” I said sternly before promptly leaving to go to sit in the front of the bus to feel like I wasn’t about to blow chunks across the room.

Later that night I was sitting in my bunk as we continued to roll through the middle of nowhere. I was just trying to calm my stomach so I could sleep without a bucket right beside me but then I heard Michael climbing into my bunk. He liked cuddling and when it wasn’t too hot on the bus he liked to cuddle with me. I didn’t mind so much really. He was good at it.

“I’m sorry we’re messy butts.” He mumbled in the tight space as we both shifted around to get comfortable with each other. I settled in against his chest.

“You’re messy assholes too.” I muttered and he chuckled.

“We are definitely assholes. I guess we got used to treating you like one of the guy we forgot that you might want things a bit cleaner, that you are in fact under the tight black skinny jeans, a girl.” Michael said wrapping his arms around me comfortably.

“What are you saying?” I whispered in the close quarters. With him  so close to me, I was hyper aware of every breath he breathed, his chest rising against mine.

“I am saying that we were jerks to forget you’re a girl  when we know damn well that you are one. I know damn well that you are one.” He added as an after thought.

“What does that mean?”

“It means alone in my bunk when I make the moaning noises I blame on Luke  I am thinking about you.” He said finally.

“Am I supposed to be flattered that you think about me when you masturbate?” I implored.

“Yes.”

“Oh well, I guess it is kind of a sweet gesture.”

“I know right?”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’d like to stop just doing it myself.”

“You want us to start hooking up?” I said slightly confused.

“In a sense, but also dating and so on. Just maybe keep it secret.”

“Oh a secret relationship…” I said getting an idea.

“Sounds naughty right?”

“That’s just what I was thinking!” I said and he chuckled leaning into kiss me.

Luke

Alright. Just keep pretending to be a guy. They wanted to just be a band of bros, the ad had explained. So I just dressed like a guy and didn’t sing at the audition and now, a month later, it was almost second nature. It wasn’t too hard really. I loved my shaved legs so only wear pants, shower late as hell, don’t drink, lock your bedroom door, wrap bandages around your chest, lower your voice, grab and scratch at your crotch, swear, fart, eat like a pig, don’t get the vanilla deodorant even if it’s your favorite, and most of all, do not fall in love with any of the band members you’re with who think you’re a guy.

That last rule, that last rule was the one I broke but come on, it’s Luke Hemmings.

The way he sang and the way he talked, his face, his hair, and the way that he would snuggle and cuddle with me even though I was a guy to him… I knew I was gone the second I saw his smile.

But no one tells you that the hardest part about pretending to be a guy is when you’re a girl and you get your time of the month. Where do you put your tampons and meds? Where do you squeeze your chest because it’s sore? Where do you hide the emergency chocolate and ice cream? Where do you hold your stomach and moan about cramps? And what the absolute fucking truck do you say it is?

I did food poisoning the first time but this time was much worse and we were on tour.

I just wanted to put on my worn PJs from Aerie and get in a blanket and watch chick flicks with chocolate ice cream while I whined about being horny and hating things. At least Luke made chick flicks acceptable, with only the price of Michael’s teasing to pay.

I tumbled out of my bunk on the bus bringing my blanket to the back lounge. Being on the bus meant I had to keep my chest bound up until I got a hotel room. It was so not helping given how sore my boobs wear. I had to wear spanx usually with the black skinny jeans since my butt was not a flat boy butt. Otherwise, no holes in t-shirts for me. In the bunk, I’d managed to get the skinny jeans and t-shirt on in my bunk. I flopped onto the back lounge couch. I knew Ashton, Calum and Michael were off somewhere, so it was just Luke and I on the bus.

“Do we have Advil?” I asked when he flopped next to me.

“Nope, Ashton used the last for his hangover a couple days ago.” He answered. “Wanna watch a movie?” He asked.

“Sure, can it be a chick flick?” I asked.

“Yeah, I really do like those and you don’t give me flack for it.” He said laughing.

“Just pick something…” I said grabbing a pillow and clutching it to my stomach.

“Mate, you ok?” He asked feeling my forehead. Ashton might have been a father but Luke was like that too in a way.

“I’m just cramping…” I sighed in my guy voice but with the girl tone.

“Huh? You’re a guy…”

“Uh…” I said trying to figure out what to say. I didn’t want to lie but I had been lying. Luke’s blue eyes were getting wider the longer I said nothing…

“Shut up!” He said finally setting his drink down reaching for the wig pinned in my hair. I didn’t have the energy to get away. He slid his fingers into my hair, feeling the bobby pins and sliding the out until the wig tumbled off and I sat in frozen silence. My hair tumbled down, matted from the wig. This weird part of my brain was mad, not because he’d found out, but because the first time he was seeing me as a girl I was my period and I wasn’t pretty. He tugged off the fake sideburns. He stared at me.

His blue eyes were boring into me, as if for the first time and as if he was serious about it.

There I was, with matted hair, red marks from adhered sideburns, bandages around my chest, spanx hiding my butt, blotching period skin, clinging to a pillow because cramps and looking into the eyes of the guy I seriously liked. I briefly thought that the whole thing had just been a mistake, it all was mistake.

“What do you really sound like?” He asked softly. He then bit down onto his lips. I noted that you’re seriously hornier when you’re on your period.

“When I’m a girl?” I said in my normal, girl voice. He nibbled on his lips and I realized we were inches apart. What was he doing?

“All this time you were a girl?” He asked running his finger pad down my cheek.

“Yeah… Your ad said band of bros so….”

“Yeah but you’re really good anyway…”

“You’re fans wouldn’t want a girl in the band.”

“Hahaha, maybe.”

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“I guess I understand but you’re definitely prettier like this…”

“I’ve got to look disgusting right now actually.”

“Nah…”

“I’m serious.”

“You’re pretty.”

“You shut up.”

“What’s your real name?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N, I like it.”

“I still can’t tell the others… For the band, I need to be a guy.”

“So I’m the only one that knows?”

“Yeah…”

“Guess you should share hotel rooms with me then.” He said with a smile.

“Lucas Hemmings are you making a pass at me?”

“You are pretty.”

“Are you gonna go for my boobs now or something?”

“Is it so bad I’m curious?”

“I’m on my period, careful what you start big boy.”

“Hahaha, I guess we can’t do anything too exciting then…”

“What are you thinking we were gonna do?”

“Hmm… Something I wouldn’t have done thinking you’re a guy.”

“I’m honestly thinking about sex and kissing, is it something else?”

“No…”

“What?”

“I want to kiss you now.” And then he was coming over and I felt his lips against mine.

“Luke, we can’t….” I said in a low voice even though I was happy.

“I know…” He sighed before lifting me up. He pulled me between his legs wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me to his chest. “Can we watch the movie like this?”

“Uh sure…”

“Did you like me?”

“Huh?”

“Like a crush?”

“Maybe…”

“Heh, I like you, too, now that I know you’re a girl…” He said kissing the back of my head.

What just happened?

AU where Mercy and Genji knew each other before Overwatch in college (Submission)

(( this was submitted to me by @dancingtragedies !! They are super talented and this fanfic is really great!!! )))

(Hello 👋, I’d like some critic on this short skit I made for Genji and Mercy before I post it. I’d greatly appreciate feedback. Sorry it’s so long, I tried to keep it short but got carried away 😅)

~~

Angela stared at her keyboard, hoping to get a small break from staring at the bright white screen of the laptop she held inner lap. She placed two fingers on the side of her head rubbing her temples on both sides trying to ease the growing headache she’s had for an hour now. She has been staring at the blank white screen of the Microsoft word document for hours now with no progress but a sentence starting her introduction on rapid cell growth development research project. The more she looked at the clock, the more stressed she felt at the loss of time, the loss of sleep and the deadline creeping up minute by minute, second by second. She wanted desperately to go to sleep but she knew she couldn’t until this was done to where she wanted to be. If she got even one day behind on this she would never get it done on time. She was in progress of getting her masters she had no excuse now for late or mediocre work. Her PH.D. was on the line, her career, her future and 6 years of college behind her could go to waste in one single research article. She’s come this far she can’t give up now. She checked her paper work and notes hoping to find inspiration to get her out of this writers block and start the fluid motions of tapping at the keyboard.
“During cell reproduction, the enzy-”

*tap-tap-tap*

There was a light knock on the door followed by a short silence. Angela’s eyes widened with her train of thought gone now focused on her apartment door. She checked the time: 2:13. No way was she expecting someone at this hour. She suddenly felt very jittery as she slowly got up from her couch leaving a depression of her body from sitting in it for so long. She shakily grabbed the fencing sword Genji left on her coffee table near her and walked towards the door holding the sword infront of her.

*tap-tap-tap*

It repeated
“No… I don’t need this now… Not now” she said softly preparing herself for the worst.
“Ms. Ziegler?… Ms. Ziegler are you up?” The voice broke the silence.
She froze grasping on to the door handle. Immediately her whole body relaxed and her arm drooped the sword to the side of her thigh at the sound of the familiar voice. She opened the door to find Genji standing there holding food in his gray beanie and green, white, and and black hoodie, jeans and two bags of jack in the box in his hands.
“Ugh… Im sorry it’s so late - I should have called or come earlier or something..” he said scratching his head embarrassed with a dorky smile on his lips.
“I know you usually stay up late studying so I brought you some food in case you’re hungry.. Oh and I left my sword here -”
He stopped,and looked at Angela holding the said object but he was more concerned on the loss of blush in her cheeks, they were pale, she was in a cold sweat with bags under her eyes which are usually light and peaceful now heavy and dulled. She leaned against the doorway, smiled and gave a relieved sigh, “Mr. Shamada, you scared me” she said placing her free hand on her chest. “I was not expecting anyone this late” she finished with a half hearted chuckle trying to bring her composure together.
But her body was working against her and she could feel it. It was hard for her to stand up straight, her head started spinning, she began taking deep breathes in hopes of getting oxygen to her brain, the adrenaline rush didn’t help her either. She first felt weakness in her knees, then ringing in her ears… She knew what was next. Her vision started blurring slowly blacking out and lost feeling in her legs. For a split second she felt weightless. She went from standing at the door talking to Genji, to staring at her ceiling held up in Genji’s arms lying on this lap. She started hearing sounds which slowly came back as faded out voices, which eventually came together as Genji’s worried voice echoed through her apartment.
“Ms. Ziegler! Ms. Ziegler! Are you okay?… Angela!”

Saying her first name out alone was enough to make him turn red. He was not used to the custom of addressing people by their first names; especially Angela’. He cradled her face and pushed back her untied blonde hair away from her eyes. His dark eyes darted fast looking at her eyes to her mouth for a sign of consciousness and a response. He reached for her wrist and put pressure on it looking for a pulse.
“Your pulse is very high” he said
Angela groaned and looked down at her wrist he was holding.
“You’re doing it wrong… You’re supposed to use your use your two for fingers not your thumb” she responded.
Surprised and a bit relieved at her response he switched his fingers over her wrist and tried again. “You’re thumb has its own pulse… So you would get inaccurate readings using your thumb..” She continued still in a daze. Genji chuckled, “Even when you are the patient, you are still the doctor” he said and smiled down at her. She smiled back in response to his smile and feeling the warmth of his chest near her face. “It’s slow.. But slowly coming back” he said after sitting still holding her wrist correctly. Angela didn’t respond but just looked up at Genji with sleepy heavy eyes. She was falling asleep in his warm arms. She felt safe and it would be so perfect if she didn’t have that slow creeping feeling of stress of her research paper still waiting on her coffee table. Her brain screamed at her to move but her body didn’t respond charmed by Genji’s embrace on the floor. Or was it the sleep deprivation? Or both?

“.. I’m really sorry.. I shouldn’t have come this late.. I probably scared you” he said now drawing attention to his fencing sword inches away from her hand on the floor where she dropped it. He looked back at her for a response but she said nothing and kept her gaze fixed on him. Usually she would have a smart remark to everything he’d say or an “it’s okay” or “apology accepted” but she just laid there motionless giving nothing but a big warm smile to him.
Genji could feel his face flush with heat and took his eyes away from her gaze and stared at her wrist she was holding, “Th-This isn’t like you..” He said trying to hide his blush, showing concern. He began to recall past experiences they have had together, how she would always ask did he eat? What did he eat? How much time did he sleep? Hopefully those questions could help him get to the bottom of this. He felt the breeze from outside sweep across his side and remembered that the door was still opened from outside along with the food still bagged on the floor.
He firmly cradled his right arm and gently supported the back of Angela’s neck, placed her arm around her body and carefully scooped her up with his left arm up off the floor and held her princess style and carried her to the empty couch. He placed her gently on the coach and she gave out a small pleasured moan as she stretched out on the furniture now finally closer to her first objective. However, she didn’t move again and just watched Genji picked up the sword and food and closed and locked the door.
He finally turned his attention back to her and noticed she was now sitting up free from his grasp reaching for the laptop again.
“Angela,”
She froze and just looked up at him staring at her from across the room.
“Yes?”
“When was the last time you ate?”
Angela opened her mouth to speak but found herself struggling to answer… “Uhhh… Hmmmm… When was the last time I ate?…” She said repeating the question. Her mind was a blank with nothing but a faint memory of a granola bar breakfast. “Breakfast?” She said shrugging her shoulders.

“It’s technically the next day.. You haven’t ate all day. What about sleep?” He asked. The tables now were turned, she was the patient and he the health care provider. Angela felt awkward and on the spot, she wasn’t used to it since she’s used to being the interrogator.
“Well.. What about it?” She responded back slowly coming together again.
“You know very well sleep is important. You always drill that into me when I don’t sleep.” Genji said. Angela sighed, “I can’t sleep.. I need to do this or I’ll get behind..” She cradled her head in her hands. The headache was coming back, she began to heavy again the weightlessness spell was gone she suddenly felt gravity come back drag back down to earth again, back to her stress hole, her hell she was in.

“But you can’t right now… You just fainted.. You haven’t ate or slept all day. You can’t bring your best in this state” Genji replied now walking up to her.
“No. I have to now. I can’t wait. It can’t wait. I’m so close I can’t stop.” She persisted her voice beginning to crack, “I’ve come this far, this has to end. It’s gotta end somehow and somewhere and it’s gonna be now because I’m so tired of this stress all the time! 24/7 being top in grades, procedures, projects! All for what?! It’s never ending! There is no rest I can’t afford rest!” She could feel hot tears of frustration fall down her cheeks. She hadn’t realized she started crying in front of Genji. Not Genji, he was never supposed to see her like this. The thought of it made her feel vulnerable and weak which made her cry more and she began to blame it on the sleep deprivation again.
Genji stood still amazed at the secret he’s been allowed to hold, her vulnerability, her trust, her feelings. He couldn’t truly understand the pressure pinned against her. He didn’t know what to say or how to comfort that and all he wanted was to help her so bad. The sight of her tears made him instinctively kneel down towards her sitting and embrace her. Angela gasped at the sudden gesture and once again she was enchanted by his embrace again. He firmly wrapped his arms around the back of her shoulders and buried his chin gently in her left shoulder. She felt light again and wrapped her arms around his shoulders too. She still had tears flowing from her face and they slowly began to drip on to his hoody.
“I’m sorry, Genji.. I didn’t mean to act this way” she said gripping on to his hoody with her hand.
He tightened his embrace and placed a hand on the back of her head, with his other arm gently moving to hold her whole back.
“Don’t be.. I can’t imagine the stress you are going through… But I want you to know this: You are amazing and you will do amazing things no matter what is ahead of you. You are inspiring and kind and courageous to do what hasn’t been done before. You are going to do and achieve the unthinkable… But please promise me to take care of yourself? Please? You are always looking out for others but never yourself”
He pleaded burrowing half of his face in her tangled up hair. He loved the vanilla scent of shampoo she used in her hair, it made it always smell good.
Genji’s words lifted her up and her tears stopped flowing. She felt the weight of stress that held her down suddenly release and the longer and tighter he held her, the more it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Her face still had the last remaining tears flow down across her face and she breathed in shakily and sniffed,
“Okay” she said and burrowed her face in his warm neck.

After what seemed like an eternity of bliss, she finally had the inspiration back to continue her work she could feel the fire burning in her giving her a new drive.
“Thank you, Genji” she said and gently pulled away from him so that they were face to face. She smiled gratefully and without thinking leaned forward and kissed him on his left cheek. She began to wipe away the tear stains from her face not noticing Genji standing there stunned with the feel of the fresh angel kiss still on his cheek and began to turn his whole face into a deep red.
“Excuse me” she gently said holding the bridge of her nose covering the running nose she had from crying and went towards the kitchen for a napkin. Now Genji’s head was spinning going in circles replaying the moment that just happened over and over in his head.
“Did she just kiss me? Did she just really kiss me? No way she just kissed me… but she did..” He thought to himself over and over again lost in thought until Angela called his name snapping him out of it.
“Genji?”
“Huh? Oh! Yes?! Sorry” He replied embarrassed getting his thought together again standing up looking at her across from the other room.
“Did you want to reheat your food from Jack in the Box?” She asked with a yawn pointing to the microwave.
“Uh.. No I’m okay. But Angela, you need to sleep now” he persisted and walked quickly towards her to catch her if she fell again.
“I’m fine” she said waving her hand down to shrug off the topic but she knew that she wasn’t. He pulse was racing again and seeing the sight of the fast food bags started to make her stomach roar. She was stubborn.
Genji sighed, “Well if you won’t sleep, will you please eat?” He asked gently nudging on her arm ready to catch her again.
Angela looked at the greasy food he bought, “not the healthiest choice..” She said thinking out loud and opened the fridge in hopes of finding left overs only to find her salad now too far spoiled to eat. “But it’s better than food poisoning” Genji remarked pointing to the wilted lettuce.
Angela sighed, “Well that’s true and if you insist” she said and walked to the couch to sit and eat.
The grease from the fries made it hard for her to tap on her key board she kept having to wipe her hands on her clothes just to get a fast edge on typing. She was able to get over her writer’s block after Genji’s encouragement and write a paragraph on her paper at least. But the greasy fingers were getting to her, “This is annoying!” She exclaimed. Even though her hunger was stained she was still very grumpy from just 3 hours of sleep now more than 24 hours ago.

It was 3:30 and she only did a fraction of what she needed to do for today. Between checking the time and complaining about greasy fingers she lost her train of thought again. This time her mind was going blank and no matter how hard she tried this time it just would not come to her again. She sighed and threw herself back on the couch. She turned to her left to see Genji sleeping on the other side of the couch. He looked really comfortable with his feet up and his head resting on the arm rest and now sleep was coming back to her in full swing. She closed her laptop, grabbed the blanket from under the coffee table and scooted over closer to Genji.
An hour nap won’t hurt - she thought as she gently leaned against his chest and brought the blanket up to he face trying so hard not make any sudden jerky movements that would disturb his sleep. As soon as she laid back on him she blacked out and fell quickly into much needed sleep.
Being a Shamada, Genji knew and was awake during her whole scooting towards him trip and was so satisfied having her choose him as a sleeping buddy. He waited a few moments until he knew she was dead asleep and then gently pulled her legs up on the couch next to him, and hugged her with both arms on to him so that she laid all the way straight on the couch on top of him. He let her head rest on his arms and fixed the blanket to cover her feet. Finally he moved the loose blonde hair away from the face he adored and relaxed back in to sleep.

title: hands of fate - chapter 1
fandom: kyoukai no kanata
words: 2,552
summary: In the wake of Izumi’s disappearance, the Society begins to move against the Nase family, demanding that they turn over Akihito Kanbara and Mirai Kuriyama if they want to maintain their fragile alliance.
notes: cries i’m actually really nervous about posting this please go easy on me!

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Rain patters softly against the pavement, staining the shoulders of her pink cardigan and leaving her hair dripping in a wet curtain around her.

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