it's sunday here so

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carl grimes week: day 1, favourite season » season 5
↳ you’re lucky your church has lasted this long. you can’t stay in one place anymore, not for too long. and then once you’re out there, you’re gonna find trouble you can’t hide from; you need to know how to fight.

Hiiiii. I’m afraid I’m running a bit late for Saturday Sweetness, my apologies! I’ve been battling a chest cold and working ridiculous work shifts. But what a lovely idea! I just wanted to send some happiness and cheer out into the tumblrverse.

To @whisperedlouis and @lawyerlarrie. In a time when I’ve been feeling pretty disconnected from this fandom, you both really gave me a sort of renewed hope in it and the ability to look at it with more sound, rational eyes and level-headedness. Keeping my cool and objectively taking in information is not typically my default, so I really appreciate you both for bringing that to the table and chatting with me from time to time. 

A Sunday 7 kinda Sunday,

So its been a while since ive actually posted stuff here. Ive been lurking, but it’s been for a reason. A lot is going on….

- Too many people dying. Yeah, you heard that right. First it was a high school friends baby, who we were all rooting for to have a child, who died of SIDS. As someone who is childless , I hurt for them.

Then it was the man who helped shape my personal spiritual journey as a kid growing up, our parish priest. Now before I hear the guffaws about religion, he was pretty big on being mostly socially progressive. But what he gave to all of us was the idea and the feeling of spiritual awakening, teaching about why we did things the way we did them and truly blending the mysticism of traditions with a search and openness for the spirit. I always thought this was an incredible thing, because as I get older and see God in things like whales, the laughter of friends, the look of love on the faces of an older couple, I think he really got that right because I’m still curious and im still open to not just my own interpretation of the divine, but others.

And lastly, my fathers brother, my uncle Marty. Our relationship started the same day that I met my father. He had come along to make sure there was not anything bad in my intent with my dad. And I think the second that my dad and I hugged, Marty knew he was just along for a cup of coffee. He knew my mom pretty well, as like most people who go to small schools and know each others siblings, and oddly enough he was part of the pipeline of people who were secretly checking in on me growing up. He was a good and honest man, was an expert at dad jokes, a hard worker, and left everybody with a smile on their face. And while he had ALS, my last memories of him are of he and his wife having a sweet moment together in the kitchen. I will miss him greatly.

-Both of my parents are going to require surgery this summer. My moms is pretty minor(lymph node removal, thanks to a spider bite LAST YEAR!). My dad however, his is a bit more drastic. His knees are destroyed from, much like me, having an invincibility complex. So Hes having both of them replaced this summer. Not a huge deal, but he has Parkinson’s, and both of my other brothers are elsewhere in the US. Sooooooo…….yeah. Not to mention He’s having his heart stopped and restarted on the 23rd(rhythm issues), so im kinda worried about that.

-im doing my best to find a quick season of work so that I can take a good part of the summer off, but its been a challenge so far. Im probably going to gave to head to AK as early as Friday, but not doing what I had in mind. I need to have this time for my parents, but I also need to pay bills and move AND……go do my maritime stuff. Which means

- trying to set up a meeting with a local tug boat owner who is looking for people to get into the rotation. His company is experiencing severe burn out. They work in the long beach, ca harbour, offer full benes, its union, and it would be a great job to get me out of Alaska for the most part and get me onto tugs.if I can get them to hire me right away and help me get my merchant mariners credentials, that would be pretty awesome.Then I can have a real life again, including music…

-Music is just a blur for me. Ive been playing lots of little local gigs since ive been back, and applying for many northwest festivals. I have 2 so far, and we are putting on a third in Aberdeen, “songwriters gone coastal”. There are 4 groups playing, including one of the recent contestants on “the voice”(who is super cool, btw), and im trying to throw together a thing at the end where we all have a sing a long(may sound hoaky, but we are all becoming a family. Plus, a rousing version of “pastures of plenty”, which was written in Washington state by Woody Guthrie, is appropriate) im not tooting my horn when I say this(and please don’t take this as being conceded), but there’s some serious talent taking the stage that night. Im really excited because we are all doing a CD this summer, and its like a 400 seat show, and im going to do my best to sell it out. The new songs on mine are solid, the other folks are amazing, and its going to be broadcast on Facebook(hint hint).

-But no matter what, im learning that Facebook, no matter how good a tool it is for marketing myself, is just a pit. I had a guy the other night send me a message about my mom, more or less saying she needed to not be so crass in he opinions and be quiet. I didn’t know this guy from Adam, so I asked a few questions, and he said he didn’t know whether I was her husband or that i might be her brother.

I LET HIM FUCKING HAVE IT

Im going to post this one of these days, not because I want a pat on the back but because this guy really thought it was ok to shame a woman by talking to a male relative and getting her to “understand” . I told him in explicit terms that he was no better than the Taliban, and that his puny words would have no effect on a true feminist like my mom. The stumbling on his retort was typical of a complete copy and paste politibot. You might enjoy the rant, it was kinda funny….

-anyhow, enough of my ranting. I just want to say thanks for reading this, and I seriously hope you are all doing ok. I know, I kinda go nuts on the hearts thing but y'all have great content. Seriously! Keep it up!!!! be kind to yourselves and to those you love, and I hope this finds you all ok, if not well.

@danisnotonfire My dash did a thing. I think it’s pretty accurate…

2

DAREDEVIL | S2 | Karen Page moments 13/50

I guess it’s not every day your life is threatened. 

And saved by a man in black.

it has been three months since my first book signing, three months since i met victoria aveyard 😭 it was a super tiring and hectic experience but it was worth it. i even cant believe my dad agreed with me to go here 😂 speaking of dads, ITS FATHERS DAY ON SUNDAY I AM SO NOT READY 😭
-k

Meta Monday: Why do you think Oliver and Digg are so drawn to each other and what do you think they get from each other that they clearly don't get from anyone else?

I think David Ramsey put it best when he said that Diggle sees Oliver as the brother he can save. The short glimpse we got of Andy in episode 3.14 told us that Andy was always the one “looking out for” John. In that scenario, Andy was the more well-adjusted one and John had just come back from Afghanistan, a little broken, a little disheartened, marriage in tatters. He was lost, and Andy pulled him out of that, found him a job, got him back on track. When Andy died, I’m sure that John was devastated. It may even have led him to spiral back into that despair. He held on for AJ and Carly, but when we met John in the pilot and early episodes, we could already tell that he was afloat, treading water in a job that was just something that paid the bills. He was stuck in a rut; he wasn’t able to move forward with Carly because he was afraid of ruining things, and though on the surface he was well adjusted and “normal”, inside I’m sure he was struggling to find a purpose. Sound familiar at all?

When Oliver came along, Dig found someone who was even worse off than he was. Oliver was tight-lipped, closed off and very, very tense. John obviously could recognise the signs of PTSD in him because he’d been through exactly that himself. I don’t know if John thought immediately that he could be the Andy to Oliver’s John, but he certainly knew that if anyone could understand Oliver, it was him.

Oliver wasn’t looking for a partner. He wasn’t even looking for a friend. What he wanted to do when he came back was hide. Hide behind the greasepaint, underneath the hood. In that respect he wasn’t all that different from Felicity who hid behind the glasses, the dyed blonde hair and the preppy clothes, not to mention the computer screens. Oliver wanted to play the game of pretence, where everything was fine on the surface and nobody questioned anything because to them, nothing had really changed. He used that pretence to cover the life he was really living, which wasn’t really a life at all but a sacrifice, a single-minded determination to a cause. When he was introduced to Dig I’m sure he considered him a nuisance, a complication he didn’t need, and yes, a threat. Oliver didn’t trust Dig, not because Dig was untrustworthy, but because Oliver didn’t trust anyone, couldn’t trust anyone. What Oliver didn’t realise and John did was that Oliver needed to trust someone. Hell, even Thea realised this and voiced it: “You gotta let someone in.” Oliver was trying so hard not to let anyone in - understandably so, given everything that he had been through in those five years, events that we are still now seeing unfold - that he had basically turned himself into an island covered in high walls made of steel, difficult, if not impossible, for anyone to scale. Dig didn’t have to get involved; he could have simply let Oliver Queen be a job, an assignment, and moved on after collecting his paycheck. In fact, that’s sort of what he did. He refused to allow Oliver to insult his intelligence and to continue to lie to him after giving him numerous chances, so he left. It was Oliver who then went after him and asked him to return; it was Oliver who told him the truth about his secret life and asked him to join his crusade. My headcanon has always been that Oliver did this after learning about Deadshot and the fact that he killed Andy. He was sussing Dig out and when he realised that he and Dig had quite a bit in common, he decided to bring him in, knowing that the kind of man that Dig was would make him a strong ally.

The relationship that John and Oliver have is unique. There’s nothing quite like it on the show. Oliver looks to John as his voice of reason, his big brother, the person who has the experience that Oliver lacks. When Oliver is confused and turned around, so lost and confused, he turns to two people for comfort, succour and advice. He turns to John when he needs someone to say the things that he can’t, to be the devil’s advocate, to show him what to do and where to go.  Dig is the one who calms Oliver down in 3.13 after the intense standoff in the foundry, reminding him that though he started this crusade, he is not alone in it anymore, and he is the one to ask Oliver whether he is strong enough to live with the legacy that he has created. He’s the one who recognises that Oliver being adamant to use Malcolm and fight Ra’s had less to do with Thea’s safety and more to do with his brush with his own mortality. Dig is the one to whom Oliver can voice, without fear, the truth that he doesn’t want to die alone. Dig’s the example that Oliver can follow, the ideal that he can look up to. Isn’t it interesting how, after a season of proclaiming that he can’t be two things, that he can’t be with Felicity and save the city, that he has to choose, when Dig tells Oliver that he was right about how having loved ones with the life they lead is complicated, Oliver responds, “the things that matter always are”? Oliver recognises the absurdity that is his life, the fact that he wants to but can’t have (or so he thinks) that normalcy that he craves. This is why he pushes so hard for Dig to have that; why he told him in 3.01 that he could not allow Dig to continue going out in the field because he had a life, a family, that he (Oliver) couldn’t have. This is why Oliver told Dig and Lyla to go on their honeymoon instead of staying behind to help with the LOA and the fake Arrows. Listen to his voice when he tells them, “We got this.” Look at his face, and the stark realisation on his face that this is his life, this will always be his life. He’ll never get to have a normal day or a date that doesn’t end in disaster or a wedding or a honeymoon or love. He stands there in the foundry, carrying the weight of the world on his own shoulders, and categorically refuses to suck Dig down into that world with him. If he can’t have it, he’ll make damned sure that Dig does.

As much as Diggle has saved Oliver, Oliver has saved Diggle. When they think that Oliver is dead, Dig is momentarily lost. He doesn’t know what to do, how to proceed. This is the man who guides Oliver but he is lost because how can he guide someone who’s gone? He even tells Laurel that he doesn’t know how to move on, that he still thinks of himself as Oliver’s bodyguard. That’s not in a “I work for him” sense; it is literally the idea that Diggle considers himself the shield between Oliver and the world. He would throw himself in front of any danger that presented itself to Oliver; he would walk into hell with him - in fact, he did. What Oliver gets from Dig is only a fraction of their relationship. With Oliver, Dig learned to live in the world again - properly. He learned to move forward; he asked Carly out, he found Lyla again, he learned to work through his anger with Floyd Lawton. He found someone to believe in; he found purpose and meaning in a life beyond standing guard outside expensive homes watching frat boys party. Dig is a soldier and will always be a soldier, and joining the crusade with Oliver, making that his own, gave him something to hold on to, something to remind himself of the person that he is and that he wants to be. Yes, John Diggle is a family man and there are now more things for him to consider, more people to protect. But John Diggle has always been a protector; for him to be anything less is a disservice to who he is at his core. Oliver gave him someone and something to protect.