it's still her

…someone get matthew vaughn on the phone we need to sort this mess out

A Heart of Kyber

A Rebelcaptain drabble requested by @jackkellyssweetheart

Originally posted by gretamaya

“What are you doing?”

Jyn frowns at Cassian, thumb still rubbing over the Kiber crystal in thought. She doesn’t like this, doesn’t like the plan, doesn’t approve of sending Cassian in alone. She should be there guarding his back, but Kes Dameron insisted she couldn’t be spared from the Pathfinders for this mission.

“Stop worrying.” Cassian yanks on his second boot and rises, twisting to face her with a smile. It wears thin on the edges, his own anxiety showing through the facade.

Jyn pushes off the door frame and strides into the room. “We both know this suicide.”

“We’ve survived worse,” he insists, grabbing his coat and throwing various articles into his rutsack.

“And we still have scars to prove it.” His back is littered with them, burned and scarred from protecting her as they struggled to pull the door of the hijacked cargo ship closed, as they fought for each minute of life, and barely made it off Scarif. Thanks to him, she only got minor burns. He took the brunt of the blast, gave her the precious moments she needed to slam the door shut and save them all.

“Scars remind us where we’ve been, what we’re fighting for.”

He’s right. His scars are physical,  but hers…hers have always been emotional. And he’s the one who stayed, the one who had her back, who always comes back. This time it feels different, not because this mission is so much riskier, but because this time she knows what she has to lose.

Cassian comes back, he always comes back. She knows it, like she knows every betrayal she’s suffered in her 21 years. It doesn’t stop her heart from beating out of her chest at the thought of everything that can go wrong.

“This isn’t like Scarif. You won’t have back up.”

He pauses, hand on the zipper of his back. He twists back to her. “I have the best back-up: You and the Pathfinders.”

She scowls, not appreciating his lack of worry. “Off planet and too far away to do much good if you get into trouble.”

Cassian slings his back over his shoulder. He steps closer until he’s crowding her and Jyn has to look up to meet his eyes. His hand lifts to cup her cheek, brushing her hair back behind her ear. “No te preocupes, mi amor. I am one with the Force..”

“The Force is with me.” Jyn completes the prayer with a sigh, Chirrut’s words adopted by the crew of Rogue One, a mantra to preserve them.

He kisses her forehead and pulls away. The room once he steps out of it feels desolate, empty, like he took all of the warmth and life with him. It’s going to be miserable without him, but this is what he does, his fight for the Rebellion. She was never good at the cloak and dagger. She much prefers to rush in head first. She likes to be able to fight. She’s had her fill of spying, but he’s good at what he does.

Jyn squeezes her necklace. To her, it’s home, safety, hope.

“Wait!” She takes off down the hall toward the hangar. “Cassian!”

He pauses at the foot of the loading dock.

Jyn pauses a foot away, crystal clenched in her hand, undecided. After a moment, where Jyn can feel curious gazes on them, she reaches back and unclasps the chord holding her last gift from her mother.

Cassian blinks in surprise. “Jyn…”

She ignores him, stepping forward and rising onto her tiptoes to tie it to his neck. She looks at it, where it sits against his shirt, just over his collarbone. She’s never parted with it before, not willingly anyway.

His hand rises to grip the necklace with a quiet reverence.  

Jyn smiles as she covers his hand with her own, finally looking up to meet his eyes. “Don’t get yourself killed, Captain. I’ll want that back.”

She tries for playful, lighthearted, but the seriousness is reflected in Cassian’s eyes as he nods solemnly. They stand their for a moment, the only point of contact their joined hands resting on the Kiber crystal.

He doesn’t kiss her as he backs away, just holds her hand until he’s too far away and the tips of her fingers slip through his. They never kiss on missions like this, starting with Scarif that’s a line they don’t cross. A kiss now would feel like goodbye. No, the kissing comes later. When they’re both home and safe, when they can lock themselves in their room and escape the world for a few hours. They don’t do goodbyes.

Jyn backs away from the cargo ship carrying Cassian away, hand raised to the now empty spot on her neck, covering the space that used to hold the crystal. She breathes a little easier knowing it’s with Cassian and he will keep it safe, just as he safeguards her heart.

After all, the strongest stars have hearts of Kiber, and they’ve always been stronger together.

activity will be sparse and sporadic today because I’M GOING TO SEE LET’S PLAY LIVE IN NEWARK!!! AND I HAVE VIP MEET AND GREET TICKETS!!!

5

i’ve found the strength to grow so much more
a whisper to a roar
no more crying
it’s time for me to soar

i just love how there was such a stark contrast between jake telling amy he still has feelings for her (”i know you’re with teddy and nothing is going to happen, i just wanted you to know”) vs teddy telling amy he still has feelings for her (”why are you with him” “will you marry me”)

2

·· I was under the impression that quinces were bow-and-arrow using savages…But after witnessing that, I guess they’re quite civilized… ··

                                                           - Happy Birthday @vegeet // 2.28.17

2

she had the world || panic! at the disco