the bayard is the paladin is the lion: a season 3 prediction
Alternatively titled: Watch This Child Jeopardize Her GPA in Real Time As She Ignores Her Midterms to Write Yet Another Fucking Meta
The lovely @littleblackchats already wrote an awesome post about the symbolism of the bayards for each of the characters in Voltron. But I was wondering: could we take it a step further and use the weapons - and what they say symbolically about the paladins wielding them - to make an informed guess about who’s going to end up in what lion next season?
(even if the answer to that question is no, i’m already writing this so whatever)
Since Allura, Keith, and Lance are the most likely to be swapped into new lions (or, in Allura’s case, to be put into a lion for the first time), I thought it’d be cool to take a look at what the weapons each of them wields says about their personalities, and whether that can give us hints as to who’s gonna be the Black Paladin next season while Shiro’s gone.
Alright, so in episode 1, Allura tells us that a lion’s quintessence is mirrored in its paladin, and that the paladin shapes the bayard. So lion = paladin = bayard. The lion and paladin should be similar in personalty, and the bayard should be compatible to the paladin’s style of fighting and personality as well. This is shown really well in Hunk and Pidge: Pidge’s weapon is small (like her), electric (reflecting her interest in computers), and made for precision (Pidge is more interested in finding clever solutions than just brute-forcing problems), while Hunk’s is big (just like him), long-range (reflecting his wish to stay distanced from conflict), and packs a punch (Hunk is the strongest character on the team, after all).
So the weapons tell us something about the personalities of the ones using them. But what can their respective weapons tell us about Keith, Lance, and Allura?
A/N: I’m hoping this one turned out ok since I’ve never wrote for Stan before! I had to not go into so much detail from the conversations from the movie due to my memory not being the greatest, so other than that, I hope you enjoy!
The last shrill bell filled the hallways, signaling that it was the end of the day. You weaved your way through the crowded hallway to your locker where you grabbed the trash you had left in there and quickly dumped it. You caught a quick glimpse of Greta storming into the bathroom and a sound of disapproval came from your throat. Honestly, it did not matter who she was after. You knew it was nothing good and you were not going to just let whatever was going to happen, happen without consequences. Slamming the locker, you quickly merged in with the crowds and headed to the bathroom. Your shoulder shoved a girl to the side as you crossed your arms over your chest, “Greta, aren’t you a little to old to be playing ‘crybaby bully’? What happened? Someone told you the truth and you couldn’t handle it?” You glanced at the girl standing in the stall next to a closed one, “Hey!” It was too late, she was already dumping the contents in over the victim.
“Just letting the slut smell like what she is, trash.” Greta bared her teeth at you as she now stood in front of you, in an attempt to be threatening. Your face twisted as you covered your nose, “oh, so you mean like your breath? Because it’s rank. Do you even brush your teeth? Because it doesn’t look or smell like you do. Your daddy must be so proud.”
Her face twisted in anger and she shoved you back, “you’re dead bitch.”
“I’d like to see you try,” you growled out, “it seems you talk so much shit that even your breath starts to smell like it.”
Greta sneered and threw a punch that you narrowly dodged, your hands grabbed onto her shirt and threw her to the ground, “you better go before you embarrass yourself in front of your girls, Greta. I have no issue with taking the trash outside.”
“Greta, let’s just go. This bitch is crazy.” A blonde muttered, “you’re right, so if I were you, I would just shut up and run along.”
Greta scrambled to her feet, she was shaking from anger, her finger pointed at you threateningly, “you’re dead, Y/L/N. When I get my hands on you-“
“You’ll what? Dump trash on me? Call me a bitch? A slut? All but actually fight me? You aren’t shit, Greta. You’re just a little spoiled brat with a big ass mouth and a clique of rejects.” You stepped forward in a threatening manner and they scrambled out of the bathroom, you called after them mockingly sweet, “Have a great summer, you guys!”
You turned back to the bathroom as the door opened and revealed Beverly Marsh. A smile rose to your lips, “I’m sorry. If I were a little earlier you wouldn’t smell like you’ve hung around Greta all day.” A smile rose to her lips as she snickered, “I can’t believe you did that. Thank you!”
You shrugged your shoulders, “She had it coming. Hell, if they weren’t all psychotic, I would do the same to Bower’s and his crew, but that’s a literal death wish so I’ll just sabotage discreetly when it comes to them.”
She held her hand out to you and despite the garbage juice on it, you grabbed it, “Beverly, or I guess little shit or slut according to Greta.” With a chuckle, you shook her hand, “Y/N, or bitch according to Greta.”
Over the next few days, you and Beverly grew closer as you hung out, quickly becoming close friends. When she showed up at your doorstep one morning, however, with a bright smile on her face, you raised an eyebrow. “You look excited?” With a lazy hand, you run a hand through your messy hair and tiredly rubbed your eye, you were not a morning person.
“Get dressed, we are going to the Quarry.” Her voice held the excitement her face showed and you raised an eyebrow, “With who?” You knew from how she was acting it would not just be the two of you, “Bill, Richie, Eddie, Stan, and the new kid, Ben. You know them right?” You gave a nod and a slight smile lifted on your lips as the mention of Stan, you have managed to talk to him a few times so besides Richie, Stan was the one you were most acquainted with, “How did you manage that?”
“I ran into them.” Her reply was short as she grinned, “Now, go get dressed!”
You invited her in and she followed you into your house, you walked into your bedroom where you quickly threw on some clothes after you changed out of your pajamas. Quickly going to the bathroom to brush your hair and teeth, you pulled your bag on your shoulders as you stuffed an extra set of clothing in. Beverly raised an eyebrow, “it doesn’t hurt to have stuff for just incase.”
“Ok mom.” She teased with a grin, “now, let’s go!” The two of you ran out of your house and grabbed your bikes.
“So, how did you run into them?” You questioned as you rode beside her, “I ran into Bill, Eddie, and Stan getting some supplies and, you know, I helped them get it.”
“Yeah, yanno… Bower’s.” She did not go further into explaining and you did not need her to, “that prick is going to kill someone one day. I can put money on it,” your words came out sneered as you came to a stop next to Bev. You climbed off your bikes and placed down your bag, a smile lifted to your face seeing the boys on the edge, fighting over who goes first.
“I’ll go.” You turned to Bev, like the boys did, and she began taking off her dress, “Not if I beat you to it!” You teased and tossed your shirt over your head and quickly pulled down your shorts, the both of you took off sprinting with playful shoved at each other before the both of you jumped off the edge, “What the fuck!” Was the last thing you heard before you hit the water. You came up with a laugh and Beverly called out, “Come on boys!”
You swam back as they slowly began to jump. Stan landed a little closer to you, splashing you as he landed, causing a laugh to escape your lips. He came up to you laughing, he raised an eyebrow and looked around at the others before he turned his attention back to you, then it clicked, “Sorry.” You shook your head, “No, no. You’re ok.”
The rest of the day went along great, between the water fights, swimming, and the little bit of tanning you got to do with Bev. However, when Ben started talking about the history of Derry, you sat next to Stan, quietly listening. “I actually have more stuff at my house.” His comment was quiet compared to Richie loudly saying, “Let’s go see it then!”
The ride there was peaceful, several conversations were being held along with yours and Stan’s, that was somehow focused on birds, which you did not mind. Ben’s room was something else entirely. “Cool.” Richie’s mutter was the only sound in the room. Scraps of newspaper littered the walls, everything about Derry and it’s dark past. Your eyes studied quietly, “No, not at all.” You caught the last bit of what Richie was saying, your eyes glanced over at Ben, “Don’t listen to him, it’s cool.”
After twenty minutes, you looked at your watch and cleared your throat, “Well, I’ve gotta head home, but thank you for today. I had fun.” You slowly made your way out of the room after your goodbyes and walked outside to your bike. “Wait!” Your gaze quickly snapped towards the door where Stan was walking to you, “This is.. well, thank you for, you know, talking with me about birds and not…” his face scrunched and he jutted his shoulder towards the house, “Richie always has something smart to say about it and I know the others just listen to be nice, so thank you for, trying to hold the conversation about it.”
A bright smile made its way to your face as you leaned on the handlebars, “it’s no problem, I didn’t mind one bit. It’s actually pretty interesting to see it from your perspective, since you enjoy bird watching. I’m sure if I heard it from Richie, I wouldn’t enjoy it as much.” Stan’s face lit up, “I’m going to do some bird watching tomorrow! You know, if you wanna join me.” He caught himself from sounding overly excited when he quickly got the rest of statement out.
“I’d love to Stan.” Your response seemed to catch him off guard, “do you want me to-“
“I can come by tomorrow around lunch and we can ride together?” He cut you off, but you only nodded, leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek, “Sounds like a plan, Stan.” Stan’s lips curved into a smile, he let out a light chuckle at your small joke. A loud snort interrupted the sweet moment and Stan turned and shot a glare at Richie, “Sure does sound like a plan, Stan the man!”
“I fucking hate him.” Stan muttered, obviously embarrassed, you gave his hand a quick pat and a reassuring smile. You turned your attention to Richie, who was still on the porch, “hey, Richie!” You called out, which surprised Stan, “yeah?”
“Try not to sound so jealous that he has a date and you don’t.” A smirk rose to yours and Stan’s lips, an echo hung in the air after Richie’s response much like it did at the Quarry and he was obviously flustered at your smart remark, “What the fuck?!”
Jin would probably be very embarrassed and would be laughing so much. His ears would turn red while answering the question directed towards him but it just means he is happy to talk about you.
The camera panned to his red face as just a few seconds ago he had been asked about you. “So is it right? You went on your first official date?” the interviewer asked. Jin couldn’t stop laughing. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before responding. “Yes. Yes were are officially dating. I hope ARMY’S can give us a lot of love, and support y/n and give her as much understanding and love as they give me” his ears had turned red by this point. “ When is the second date then?” the host teased. He turned to look at the camera. “ I am waiting for your answer y/n” and he handed the mic back to Namjoon prompting a lot of ooh’s from the boys.
Secret Denise message of the week: “He who sees my face will be cursed for a thousand years.” As you do.
Sam makes his entrance gagged and with his hands tied while the rest of the cast points and yells “shaaame” at him.
Laura thought Scanlan was screwing with them and kept waiting for him to turn around.Travis notes that they can usually talk people out of that kind of choice, and Marisha realized Scanlan was actually leaving when the conversation started going around in circles and there were no easy solutions.
Taryon was not supposed to appear in 85 at all. Midway through the show, Matt called Sam over and told him Taryon was going in tonight. “Why?” Matt: “’Cause… why not?” At that point, Sam had virtually no backstory planned for Taryon and didn’t even have Doty named yet. Matt: “…I can say that was a miscommunication and I thought that was the intent?” Matt told Sam they’d figure out Taryon once the party knew where they were going next, and Sam took that to mean in the next episode, so Matt sort of accidentally threw him in at the deep end.
Sam: “I did not do any of that to hurt you as people or characters, I did not mean any sort of betrayal by it. It just felt like the right thing to do… and the tasty way to do it.” Taliesin notes he’s had e-mails after a break-up that sounded just like that. Matt was tense through the whole thing.
Taliesin: “You’ve proven that we can bring in a new character and it works.” Liam keeps thinking of the pre-stream game and missing Scanlan. Marisha realized she was putting away her d12s because she only ever used them when Scanlan gave her inspiration.
Vex felt like she and Scanlan really understood each other because they both put up fronts, and now she’s starting to doubt that.
Liam notes that Scanlan was the only one who really managed to get through to Vax during his nosedive.
While Scanlan was out, Sam had time to think about how Scanlan would feel when he woke up, and he couldn’t really justify why Scanlan would stick around. He thought it would be really difficult to make it seem believable for Scanlan to stick around when he was that miserable, so a break made sense.
Liam: “With a little space from this, it was brilliant.”
Sam: “Some of the things that Vex said to Scanlan changed his plan. My initial intent was to leave solo, alone, and you guys all convinced me to stay with Kaylie.”
Liam points out that VM doesn’t really keep their guard down anymore, so they’re pretty wary of Taryon, although Grog’s on board now that they’ve beat him up (”I’ve done all the insight checking that’s needed”), and Percy’s on board because he’s excited to have a nerd-buddy and a very useful distraction.
It was Grog’s idea to beat up Tary and Doty, because he was worried about them possibly getting the rest of his friends killed if they weren’t able to hold their own.
Laura points out it was more of an audition than a hazing–they did it to their staff at the Keep. Marisha reminisces that she turned into a giant scorpion for the first time during that scene and scared off a lot of them on the spot. Vex shot an arrow at Jarrett, and he side-stepped and made eye contact, and she knew he’d be sticking around.
Taryon is inspired by the likes of Richard Branson and Tony Stark. The pitch to Matt: “I wanna be a guy with no skill at all who has bought everything he can do, if he has a problem he just throws money at it, and he wants to be a brave, daring adventurer and has no skill to back it up,” and Matt immediately thought of the artificer class. Matt: “In theory, without any of his equipment, he’d be a level 2. The equipment’s what brings him up to level 13.”
Percy stopped feeling threatened by Taryon when he realized he needed magic to build his stuff. “We can do a Bruce Banner-Tony Stark kind of thing.” Sam points out that Taliesin actually knows some of the stuff Percy talks about, whereas the simple machines Taryon talked about so condescendingly were the actual limit of Sam’s technical knowledge.
Marisha leans towards Keyleth mostly just using the elemental spells that she’s completed her Aramente for.
Vex thought of Scanlan as the dad of the group, the one you went to if you didn’t know what else to do. Sam, whispering: “…I’m so sad right now.”
Brian: “The first person who can open a fucking door should be the leader of Vox Machina forever.”
Liam on Vax: he was a total fuck-up, didn’t have a purpose, and that got flipped on its head. Vax thinks another shoe is gonna drop from the Raven Queen, but he’s not rushing towards that; he wants a little private time. “It’s a weird thing, being Fate-Touched in a game of chance.” He’s currently waiting for instruction, but doesn’t really know where to go. From Matt’s perspective, the Raven Queen’s set him on a path and has outlined the general direction, and until that path needs to be corrected, she’ll leave him to keep walking. But without training, Vax doesn’t really know how that connection works.
Travis thinks Grog would do okay one-on-one against Kevdak now.
A fan points out that Matt was silent for 18 minutes during the party’s confrontation with Scanlan. Matt loved it, because it let him become a member of the audience. “That’s the reward for all the hard work.”
Matt re: Keyleth potentially taking on True Resurrection as a ninth-level spell: “There’s an interesting disconnect between the mechanics of the game and a realistic narrative.” He feels that there needs to be a necessary, very important purpose for that person that didn’t get completed. Marisha mentions that there are some spells that Keyleth wouldn’t be comfortable with (same as Pike not using some spells), and that True Resurrection would be difficult. She’s excited about True Polymorph, though.
Matt had to tell Sam that Scanlan did not hear Grog’s contribution to the resurrection ritual–Grog unfortunately failed his contribution. Sam: “I will say as Sam Riegel listening to Travis Willingham’s song… legit tears.”
Doty is not quite as strong as rules-as-written, but is a little smarter so he can read and write. Liam: “But can he love?”
Matt points out that a lot of the show’s narrative stems from relationships, so it seemed natural that romances would start up in the game. Laura: “[Liam and Marisha] had to deal with all of us acting like asshole fucking schoolchildren.” Travis: “I just want the story to be good. I just want nudity and good story. I don’t care where it’s from.”
Marisha and Liam went out to lunch to talk Vax/Keyleth once it looked like things were heading that way to make sure everyone was on board and comfortable with it.
Sam thinks Scanlan would be very skeptical of Taryon and would think he’s an asshole and would be on board with pretty much everything that’s happened.
Liam hopes for a bit of overlap between Scanlan and Taryon. Sam: “Oh god…”
Sam honestly doesn’t know if we’ve seen the last of Scanlan.
Percy does not want to return to Whitestone in a permanent sense at all, but Taliesin notes that it doesn’t matter, because he has to, and he understands that responsibility’s part of being titled. He doesn’t think Percy will ever take power, but if it comes up, he has ideas of how he could be useful.
Brian: “Is there anything special you want to do for episode 100?” Liam: “Wear some pants, please.” Matt: “No. Never.”
Matt sighs heavily when everyone suggests a bodyswapping episode. Sam: “We’re doing it, Matt. Someday.” Matt: “…so hackneyed.”
Brian: “Oh, I forgot about Alpha! Probably because it hasn’t worked for months.”
Sam would be down for playing both Scanlan and Taryon.
Everyone was pretty okay with Taryon not knowing their names. Marisha: “That seems like something we’d do.”
Brian asks where the giant mug is right now. Sam points out that it’s literally sitting on a shelf behind Brian, in the same shot as him. Sam’s new mug was a gift from Laura ages ago.
At the time, Vex thought hanging onto the deck was the smart thing to do, but after the conversation with Scanlan, she decided it was better to give it back to Grog. Travis had games and games of guilt-trips planned. Percy was planning to build fake magical cards with a bit of flashpowder.
Matt reveals that Fenthras was already Exalted when Vex got it. Laura, slumping dejectedly and extremely dramatically on the couch: “Fucking hell, I’ve got all this fuckin’ shit I’ve been working on!”
Exalted is the next level after Awakened for Vestiges. More info in the campaign guide.
Liam: “What if Pike was hit with love at first sight for Taryon?” Everyone just goes silent while they ponder that.
Midoriya Izuku was luck enough to get a scholarship at Yuuei thanks to his relations with All Might. They weren’t really well off so education at those kinds of school are not really within his access. But All Might has given him a chance to go do just that and he’s been studying day and night to get his good grades and become a successful hero. Until, he well got lured lost in the room of a certain host club and broke a vase worth 8M yen. He has then been enslaved worked as a host for the club to pay off the broken vase.
The hosts are the following:
1. Bakugou Katsuki (Bad Boy Tsundere Type) - You will just love Bakugou. Actually, everyone will just kinda love him. Or hate him with a burning passion. There is no in between. He might seem furious but inside his heart is actually a more furious and raged man but beneath all that is actually a boy who is tsundere for you. You may find yourself being careful around him but the longer you linger, the more you catch on to his tsundere charms and then, you are stuck forever. He is actually also very smart, despite his love for profane words. He also won UA’s hero tournament and has been holding the title for 2 years. Also self-proclaimed leader of the host club.
2. Todoroki Shouto (Hot & Cold Type) - Todoroki Shouto is unpredictable if anything. Sometimes, he has the warmest of smiles that get you all jittery and on other days, he has the coldest of stares that will leave you shaking. His capricious nature gets people more interested in him. The reason why Todoroki acts as such is said to be one of the 7 mysteries of Yuuei among others. He is also the son of the top Hero, Endeavor, although he does not like to talk about it. Never talk to him about Endeavor unless you want to see his cold stares but if you want to see them, then be my guest. But mind you, there are repercussions.
3. Iida Tenya (Serious & Earnest Type) - Iida Tenya is a good choice for first timers at the host club. He is sensible and easy to converse with, although, he sometimes get out of hand with his speeches talking. A true gentleman, this one. He won’t ever push you or make you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes though, the more cunning and devious girls end up teasing him with matters of the heart until he gets beet red and inexplicably flustered. But that is, in its own right, a sight to behold. Most people visit him for that awkward blush.
4. Kirishima Eijirou (Upbeat & Friendly Type) - Kirishima Eijirou is also one that is well recommended for starters. He knows your cues and knows how to read people unlike Iida. Plus, he’s a natural mood maker so if you want light conversation and a good time, he’s the one. He’s also a good listener so if you are having troubles, he’ll gladly lend you an ear and try to give you advice. Has an obsession with ‘manly’ things and there is 101% chance that if you show him something manly, he will become a helpless puppy.
5. Shouji Mezou (Gentle & Kind Type) - Do not let Shouji Mezou’s rough and intimidating exterior fool you. He is actually the kindest of souls. Even as they call him Tentacles because of his quirk, he actually the most gentle of group. Mezou is also a good listener but unlike Kirishima, he rarely gives out advice, if he actually ever does. So if it is him, then you can go pour your heart out.
6. Kaminari Denki (Flirty & Dorky Type) - Kaminari Denki is a natural flirt. He knows your daily pick up lines and the like. You could say he knows how to make you feel the sparks between the two of you. But if you don’t laugh at his jokes or react the way he expects you too, he panics real bad. Most of his visitors actually go just want to go see him flail and be confused because it is actually what makes him cute. Sadly, he does not know about this. His fans will protect that secret to their graves.
7. Midoriya Izuku (Pure & Perfect Type) - Izuku is an idea son man. He is humble and understanding. He can converse with you with pretty much any topic but talk to him about heroes and his eyes glisten like the waters of the sea and his smile, oh god, his smile will dispel all the impurities in your heart. He is a cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. He also will try to help you with 200% of things. Just don’t take advantage of his kindness because that might earn you the wrath of the other guys in the host club *cough* Bakugou *cough* Todoroki *cough*.
scenes and stuff:
But imagine Deku buying ‘commoner coffee’ and Bakugou being angry like “wtf is this shit deku?! i swear” but Deku is saved by Kirishima who fools Bakugou into drinking it as a form of ‘challenge’.
But also imagine Kacchan being hella confused because Deku is cute, CUTE. And Kacchan protecting Deku from one of his less saner fangirls and Deku thanking kacchan but Kacchan refusing the thank you because it is his responsibility, yada yada. But is secretly happy about it.
Kirishima watching in the distance and feeling both happy and sad because Bakugou is rarely ever truly happy but Bakugou is happy because of someone else. Kirishima who has been keeping his feelings with Bakugou at bay until Deku came. Just jealous Kirishima.
And also Deku having to wake up Todoroki, who is terrifying when woken by someone else, because he fell asleep at the host club room. And oh god, Todoroki pulls Deku’s hand when Deku called on him causing Deku to go fall in Todoroki’s chest.
Iida and Izuku reviewing together in the library and accidentally touching each other’s hand while trying to get something because both were too engrossed in studying that they didn’t have time to look.
Club treasurer Tsuyu and secretary Uraraka because someone or in this case some two need to watch the guys in the host club and make sure Izuku is safe and kept pure.
Also, Uraraka making all the guys float when girls begin hording at them in hallways. And Tsuyu retrieving them all with her trusty frog tongue.
Also, Uraraka and Tsuyu always being together and helping each other out that they actually fall in love with each other but the other party thinks they are in love with Izuku so Uraraka and Tsuyu try to set each other up with Izuku when they should just be admitting their love for each other.
Request: Hey sweetie I just read your last Sirius writing and I got the idea of him x reader where she is the most wanted girl in the school but suprisingly doesn’t attend the yull ball and Sirius (bc he loves her) then goes to her room and find her crying?💞💞💞💞 Warnings: swearing? a bit? My English. Pic isn’t mine. Credits to its original owner.
It was a bit annoying. Not that you weren’t enjoying it, but after a while it just became tiring. You had to decline an invitation to a date almost three times a day. Some of them were really persistent; They would ask you out almost every day just to receive a forced smile and a no, no thank you. You were known to be the female version on the school’s heartbreaker, but not exactly. You didn’t sleep around with everyone. Actually, you have never said yes to anyone. And that’s because you only wanted one person. That heartbreaker. His name was a synonym for one-night-stand and other even less complemental things. You, however, never gave a single sign that you were interested. You liked your heart whole and not in pieces, thank you very much. You were about to join the conversation that was held among your friends-more like Lily being overdramatic about James, but you understood her very well-when someone, a cute Hufflepuff, walked right in front of you. “Hello” you greeted him. You knew where the whole thing would lead but being rude to someone was not your thing. Well, not always. If anyone, anyone at all was all over your friends for any reason, you were fierce, like a tiger protecting her babies. It was just your nature. “Hello Y/N” he addressed you kindly. He was really cute, handsome even. There was one problem though. He wasn’t him. It would be really selfish of you to date people like understudies because you couldn’t have the one you wanted. It wasn’t fair. “Would you like to go out on a date with me? Hogsmeade maybe?” he asked you with hope burning in his eyes. You took a deep breath. It wasn’t exactly easy to decline everyone. “You are sweet. Thank you, really. But I have to say no. Sorry” you said sweetly, with a sympathetic smile. You really didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. He smiled back at you, a bit sad. “It’s okay. See you” he waved you goodbye while he was walking away. You hmphed. You hadn’t noticed that the guys were standing right behind you, having witnessed the whole scene. Therefore, when you turned around, expecting to find Lily and Marlene, you slightly jumped in surprise. “Hello, boys” you cooed. You wouldn’t admit, really, but you tried to flirt with him in a subtle way in every chance given. You all walked towards the Great Hall in order to eat breakfast. Yes, your first decline was before 8. It was going to be a big day. “Hello, love. Tell me something. How does it feel to break hearts?” Sirius asked you mockingly. You weren’t that innocent to drop it. “Why don’t you answer that yourself, love?” you said, emphasizing the last word, almost spelling it out loud, voice like honey. He smirked. Merlin, you loved that smirk of his. Just as every other girl. “Where have you been all my life?” he asked flirtily. That was just your thing. You would flirt with each other shamelessly but it would stop about there. “Hiding from you” you said in a fake sweet tone while you batted your eyelashes once and pierced his eyes with your look. The guys laughed but he wasn’t going to stop yet. Lily was eyeing you knowingly. You knew that she believed that you should stay away from him. In all honesty, you had tried it. And failed. Miserably. “Go on, don’t be shy, babe. Ask me out” he winked at you. You smiled innocently and played with a strand of your hair. “Okay” you answered while smiling wider. He was taken aback. You took a deep breath pretending to be stressed out. “Get out” you said, dropping the smile and the fake tone and showing him the exit. Marlene snorted. For a second, you thought that he looked hurt, but nah. “Padfoot, stop flirting. Let us eat breakfast in peace” Remus asked pleadingly. He was trying to read a book at the same time. You smiled apologizingly towards him. “I’m not flirting. I’m just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive” Sirius informed him wiggling his eyebrows, causing Peter to choke on his porridge. For a while you ate in silence, secretly thanking Merlin. You poured some milk into your coffee, bringing to your lips, taking a sip. “I know milk does good for the body but damn girl, how much did you drink?”. You choked. He grinned triumphantly.
You had learned that a Ball would take place here, in Hogwarts. Christmas Eve. Your days were getting more and more annoying. You couldn’t recall how many times you’ve had answered a simple ‘no’ because it was exhausting. And today was the day your heart broke, the day of the ball. You were sitting alongside Remus in the common room. He was reading a book and you were thinking and dozing off while staring at the fire. “I am going to the ball with Black!” Marlene exclaimed too happy to notice your strained face. It was like all air left your lungs. You wanted to be happy for her, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel. Anything. Everything was such a blur. You were numb. You couldn’t believe you were so stupid to actually think he would ever look at you like that. But why Marlene? Why your friend? “Hey. Y/N! Aren’t you excited?” Lily asked you beaming herself. She had said yes to James. Everyone was happy. Happy. You took a deep breath and shook that word out of your mind. “I am! You girls have fun!” you said with a fake smile that only Remus got. He furrowed his eyebrows but soon his eyes widened momentarily as he probably came to the same realization you had, three years ago. He looked at you with the question burning in his eyes. You just nodded with the slightest movement. He wouldn’t sell you out. Thankfully nobody understood that you weren’t about to go. “Have fun Rem” you wished him as you stood up, leaving the common room, heading to your dorm. The girls were probably in Lily’s room so you would be alone. Remus tried to call you but you didn’t respond. You just kept going. Oh, Merlin. It was going be one hell of a night. In a very bad way.
You could hear the giggles and the laughs. You could almost taste the sappy sappy romance. You could sense the tension between some couples. The sexual tension, that is. But you couldn’t see because of the tears. It had hit you. All those boys asking you out… they never truly liked you. They liked the way you looked. Looks fade fast. Not one… not even one had ever bothered to actually meet you. To talk to you. To befriend you. No one. They just wanted the body. But you weren’t a body. You were a soul, a mind, a heart, feelings, emotions, thoughts. A mess. A chaos. And no one could handle you. He may have stabbed you but you handed him the knife. You showed him where your weak spots are. This was your fault. You should have listened to Lily and stay away. Now it’s really too late. Too late. The door slammed open, revealing a rather worried Sirius. The day was getting better and better by the second. You hid your face in your palms. You were sitting on your bed, knees to your chest and- you were a mess. He closed the door behind him. You wanted to scream at him to get out, but your mouth wouldn’t obey. “What’s wrong love?” he asked you. He came closer, sat on the bed next to you. “Stop it. Please” you whispered. You couldn’t keep pretending. Him, calling you love? “Stop what love?”. His voice revealed concern. Why did he care? “CALLING ME LOVE” you snapped, tears staining your cheeks, lips trembling, hair falling out of your messy bun. You couldn’t stop now. “Stop calling me love. Flirting with me. Smirking. Laughing. Smiling. Touching me. Stop being in my life. Just stop. Go to Marlene and leave me alone” you whispered-yelled. You were sobbing. Hard. He was taken aback. “You’re jealous?” he asked indiscriminately but there was something more. “YES I AM JEALOUS! I am in love with you, you moron. I can’t stand the fact that you’re flirting and sleeping with everyone and that you are with Marls now. She is my friend, Sirius. My friend. Why her? You could any girl you wanted. Why her?”. The words flew before you could contain them. “Because I couldn’t have you. Or so I thought. Because of you, my reality is better than my dreams” he breathed out, voice low and sincere. He grabbed your legs, wrapped one of his arms around your waist, making you sit on his lap, straddling him. His other hand cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping off your tears away. He gripped your chin, forcing your head up. “Did you know there are 21 letters in the alphabet?” he asked you, with a playful smile. You blinked. “There are 26” you answered pouting. “Oh right I always forget U R A Q T”* he concluded and you cracked a smile. He beamed. “There it is. My favorite curve. Well…” he trailed off. He squeezed your bum and you let out a laugh. “Be mine, angel”.
Requested: Could you possible do a Stiles imagine where you two are dating and get into a bit of a fight. You then leave the house because you are both angry and need to cool off. Later you feel extremely guilty so you go over to apologise but he’s still angry and yells at you or something. He might go to run his hand through his hair or something, but you physically flinch because he was so angry. He then realises you thought he was going to hit you and is really sorry and makes it up to you with fluff!
Summary: (Y/N) and Stiles get in a fight about Stiles’ lack of presence and other things. She leaves and when she comes back to apologise she flinches at Stiles’ movement causing him to externalise everything he has been feeling for the past month.
“This is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever eaten.” I giggled.
“Wow, let me down easy why don’t you.” Stiles muttered as he sits down digging into his ‘creation’.
“Hey, babe, what’s up? You’ve been really jumpy and kinda moody recently.” I say worried.
“I’m just sick of being under appreciated. I tried to cook you a nice meal but of course its not good enough. The only person that understands me right now is Lydia.” My eyes widen and I give him a sarcastic look.
“Well, sorry I can’t be more like Lydia”my voice drips with sarcasm.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Stiles glares at me.
“Oh, nothing. Just wish I could be more like you’re beloved Lydia. Maybe then you’d actually show some interest in me.”
“Interest? Are you kidding me?” Stiles sarcastically laughs.
“Yes, interest. You’ve barely spoken to me in weeks! This is the first time that we’ve hung out without Scott in nearly a month.”
“Yeah, well maybe there’s a reason for it.” Stiles scoffs and gets up to throw his food in the bin.
“What reason?” I stand up and look at him and I see him roll his eyes. “If you don’t want to be with me anymore then you could’ve just said it.” I grab my bag and storm out of Stiles’ house.
I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling feeling nothing but pure anger. I haven’t heard from Stiles in ages and the next thing you know he’s being a complete douche. I hear a beep come from my phone that stops my inner rant. I pick up my phone and roll my eyes when I see the snapchat from Scott. I delete the notification and right before I put it back down I stare at my lockscreen; a photo of Stiles and I. It was taken the night that he had won the lacrosse game for Beacon Hills. I was kissing his cheek and the smile on his face was massive. He had his arm around me and a slight pink tint on his cheeks. I sighed as the photo faded and I was left to look at my reflection. Only then did I notice the tears rolling down my cheeks. I sucked up my pride and chucked on my converses and started making my way to Stiles’.
I knocked on Stiles’ door but no one answered it. I dug into my pocket and unlocked it before slowly pushing it open. I heard heavy footsteps and objects being thrown around so I quickened my pace inside until I saw Stiles with his back to me. I see him lift his fist ready to pound it on the table and instinctively I grab his wrist before he can hurt himself. He quickly turns around and rips his hand from mine, hurting my wrist in the process. I clutch it in pain as he towers over me and I take a few steps back.
“What are you doing back here?” He shouts.
“I-I thought we could talk it out. I wanted to apologise.” I say softly as he stops and lets out a deep sigh. I see him lift his arm and I flinch before noticing he went to run it through his hair. He stops moving all together as he looks at me.
“D-Did you just flinch?” I stay still and look at the ground refusing to answer him. “No, no, no, no.” He mumbles. “(Y/N). Do you seriously think I could ever hurt you?” I saw how upset he was getting as he stuffs his head in his hands.
“No… it was just a reflex. I didn’t mean to.” I trail off.
“(Y/N). I don’t even know what to say. I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise how aggressive I was being. I just-” Stiles sits on his couch and wipes away his tears. “I know lately I’ve been pushing you away and acting like the worst boyfriend ever. I just realised that when we were fighting the alpha pack and you nearly died that I couldn’t help you. I tell myself day in, day out that I’d do anything to protect you because I love you so so much. But the truth is… I can’t. I don’t have any special powers; I’m not Scott. I’m… just me.”
“And that’s why I love you so much Stiles. You’re just you. You don’t have to pretend to be anything you aren’t. You love me for me and you put in so much effort into absolutely everything to try and make things better for those around you. Except you probably could’ve put in more effort into tonights dinner.” I giggle as I sit next to him on the couch. He laughs along but once its died down he looks at me with a serious face.
“How do I make it up to you?”
“How about we start off with you actually feeding me a decent meal” I laugh.
“Pizza?” He asks and I nod. As he goes away to order I quickly put on the tv and put in a movie.
“Should be here in half an hour.” I hear his voice call from the kitchen as he grabs us both drinks. “Is that Star Wars I hear?” He comes running into the living room with a giant smile on his face and jumps next to me on the couch, passing me my can of coke. “God, I’m literally dating the hottest chick ever.” He mumbles to himself as he shuffles his body around so we can comfortably lay resting on top of one another. I giggle and snuggle into his deeper.
“Love you too.”
“Love you more.” He says as he presses a lingering kiss to my head.
Thanks for the request! Hope you liked it! Keep them coming people xx
Can you explain how you would free style? I've been on SA for a bit and it's a waste of time x
GTFO off SA for starters babes! Real talk doe. Here’s my solo freestyling tips ladies that live in large cities!
1) Look like a million bucks. Spurge on a new dress or lipstick to make you feel confident! I always make sure I got my hair done, nails did, everything done BIG before I embark on a solo freestyling mission haha. When I know I look good or sexy, it gives me that extra bounce in my step. .
2) Location, location, location. Ladies, I can’t stress it enough. Unless you live in a rural area, you should know the hottest places SD’s hang at. For myself, I prefer lounges, hotel bars, and the occasionally boutique hotel or cafe. Everyone has different spots, but, for solo freestyling (which I prefer because I’m a loner at heart). Mostly, I stick to my usual spots, but every once in a while I switch it up for fun or boredom. Men are more likely to approach if you’re alone versus a squad of women because of the fragility of the male ego. I’ve freestyled with other girl before yet found most of them boring and got moody if men showed more interest in me cause I got a bombass personality and make people laugh (hairflip). I’ve said it a million times, don’t rely on just being pretty! You gotta let that personality shine! I wasn’t the most confident growing up, but, I faked it until I believe it. Plus, an SD told me once “show me a beautiful woman and I’ll show you a man who’s tired of her…”
3) Make friends with the bartenders. The only reason why I say this is because I used to be one! You got a great resource and wingman behind that bar. They can get you into VIP parties and tip you on celebs coming by. I made good friends with a bartender from Chiltern Firehouse and he always gets me free drinks even when I come with a POT haha. Most of them are used to being mistreated or ignored, so they like being recognized and treated fairly ( I always always tip 20% because I know how much they work). I usually flirt and chat them up right away to get a free drink and never has failed me. Once you start chatting with the bartenders, other patrons sitting at the bar will join in. It’s 100% true fact, others will engage if the conversations are interesting and fun next to them.
4) Make up a story as to why you are alone. Say you’re waiting for a friend but they are having car or transportation issues. Say youve been stood up if you reallllllllllllllllly want men to pity you and get drunk for free.My usual lie is that I’m a flight attendant with Emirates and I work on call so I rarely have time to grab a drink and unwind. That way no one will think it’s weird that I come alone often. Men love flight attendants that I will say! But, I don’t divulge fake details about it and often ask more questions about others ( which is the sure way to get people to like you)
5) Entertain the first man that buys you a drink. Even if he’s not cute, doesn’t look like a POT, or SD, do out of courtesy. Remember his name no matter what and use it because people like the hearing the sound of their own name. While talking to him make sure show off your personality and outgoingness, every now and then, look around the room and lock eyes with someone, smile and return to the conversation. Plus, other men (aka his friends or patrons at the bar) will pay attention and try to get involved in the conversation. A man finds a woman more attractive when others are interested in her as well. It’s like women fighting over a pair of shoes on sale, they only find it alluring because others want it too rather than the actual flipping shoe. When you’re a catch, even if the man doesn’t really want you, he doesn’t want anyone else to… So finesse the guy that bought your drink and then later his crew if he turns out to be salt. Then again, the guys that are going to the venues you’re drinking at should be prestige!
And that’s it folks! Honestly, it too me a while to get better at freestyling alone, but I love it! And I always meet interesting guys, make new friends at the bar, and get a free drink atleast!
Summary: Where Harry’s just begun his solo career and performing is everything that he’s ever dreamed of; he can’t help but feel so alone sometimes though. Feeling as though everyone has someone, and he’s so out of the loop with his love life that it brings an imbalance. However, you can’t take everything and expect to give nothing in return or for everything to be ok for forever.
~ SO sorry that it’s been forever since I last updated. So much been going on these past few weeks and this series is coming to an end soon. Hope you enjoy!♡
The days following Jungkook’s and I event on the beach, he messaged and called me excessively. At first, he tried to apologize, then began to dismiss the topic and was only trying to get my attention. I ignored all efforts to communicate and avoided unwanted encounters. After four days of rejection and silence on my side, he stopped trying completely; then by the sixth day, I began to miss him.
I had myself locked inside the house and sometimes only my room. My friends began to worry since I had failed to speak with them at all. I sometimes heard some of the guys over; mostly Jimin, Namjoon, and Hobi but never Jungkook. The days or nights I was cooped up in my room, I found myself peeking out my windows to look into his. My window was unlocked but the blinds were closed and I only ever saw the door to his room. The lights were off most of the time I checked and I wonder if he was in there in the dark like I was.
It was one of those nights I went to bed early, just as the sun was going down, but I really just laid there in bed. I drifted in and out of slumber when I eventually, I woke up to laughing and a cold sweat. My room was dark and the only crack of light came from under my door. Faint talking could be heard from the living room and I recognized Jin’s laugh instantly. I sighed, missing the good times we all spent together but I couldn’t find the courage to make the move to face them. I was too embarrassed with what I have become over the last week; when I normally wouldn’t care.
I decided to go back to sleep, pushing the covers off my sweaty neck down to my waist.
"I don’t know. Jungkook said he would meet us here…“
I almost didn’t hear what Namjoon said. The drowsiness was scared out of my system as my heart stopped for a minute.
"My Kookie has been unrecognizable lately, he’s never home and is out all hours of the night,” Jin said not long after.
"Yeah, same with (Y/n)…I feel like I haven’t seen her in a week, and she hasn’t even left the house.“ The worry in Bitsy voice made me feel guilty.
"Those two really need to talk things out. I wish they weren’t so stubborn.” Jimin said.
Hearing that Jungkook was also acting out fed to my guilt as well. Why was I being such a drama queen? I wasn’t acting like myself. I was never afraid to face a conflict, but things just felt different with Jungkook involved.
I grabbed my phone and looked through the old messages from him. I wanted to text him so he could come over but it’s been so long. What if he stopped texting me because he was over it already? Which would explain the behavior Jin was talking about.
Do you still wanna talk?
My head was beginning to ache with all my conflicting thoughts. Would he even text me back? I pulled my pillow into my chest, holding it tightly, while I closed my eyes. They were still talking but had changed the conversation. The last thing I remembered was staring at my phone screen and before knew it, I was asleep once again.
I woke up to a faint knocking sound, but as I came to my senses it was quite forceful. The room was still dark and it could have been nothing past midnight.
“Go away, Coco…” I mumbled into my pillow.
The knocking continued regardless, not till l allowed the sound to ring in my head, did I realize it wasn’t knocking against wood but against the glass. I pushed the blankets of my legs and went to switch on the lights. Walking over to my window, I lifted up the blinds to find Jungkook standing on the other side of them.
I stood numbly looking at him; his face was different from the last time I had seen him, he looked a bit puffier but his cheeks were blushed. I was afraid to let him in regardless if the window was open. He had no specific expression on his face but it still held a gentle and unsure look. For a moment he looked away from me and back to reach into a book bag, I hadn’t even noticed he had on. My head tilted with my brows scrunched when he pulled out a full bottle of Jack Daniels, holding it up for me as if it was a way in. I bit the inside of me cheek still hesitating to let him in. Jungkook paused for a moment before once more reaching into his bag, this time pulling out a single can of coca cola with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
“It’s open.” I turned away from him, walking to bed, and hearing the window open as I sat at the edge.
I rested my back against the headboard while I drank down all the water I had on my nightstand. Tapping my fingers against the now empty glass while Jungkook opens up the bottle of Jack. He scooted closer to me offering to pour me some and I stopped him halfway up the glass. I reached in his bag that was sitting between us for the can of coke and filling up the rest of my cup. I watch Jungkook take a swing straight from the bottle resetting it at the opposite side of the bed. I took a drink from my cup as well, the over sweet cola making the harsh whiskey more bearable.
“(Y/n)…” My eyes shifted towards him. Jungkook was sitting with his knees spread and the bottle held between both hands. He was staring at the brown liquor sway in its glass prison. “I don’t know…what you think that was on the beach but-”
Jungkook stopped speaking for a moment, unsure of himself and what he wanted to say. I took another sip from my cup to find the strength to go through the conversation. “I just hate this wall you put between us before anything could even happen.”
His eyebrows were knitted, he was frustrated with the situation at hand. I didn’t know how to explain to him that it wasn’t anything personal, at least not at first. I couldn’t deny that my distance from him had grown from what I first intended it to be. I knew what he was feeling- how he was feeling.
“You’re right.” I took a gulp of my drink allowing it to burn in my throat. “What I’m doing isn’t fair, and the last thing I wanted was for it to bother you so much.”
I could see that it was hard for Jungkook to be so honest about how he felt. I could see the hurt in his eye whether he tried to hide it.
“I like you.”
I gulped at his sudden words, looking away from him at all costs. “Jungkook-”
“And the only reason I would ever have the balls to admit that; besides the fact I’m a little drunk, is because I think…you might like me too.”
I ran my hand over my forehead and temples. It was obvious he had been drinking before coming here, so that was giving him an unclear mind. If he was speaking the truth, that meant things would have to end.
“Why are you trying to create something between us? This wasn’t my intention- there’s nothing between us.” I drank down what was left in my cup, trying to release some of the frustration.
“I’m not saying that,” Jungkook mumbled faintly. He leaned over to pass me the bottle so I could refill my glass. “I know what this is.”
“Jungkook, please.” I wanted to mask his words with the liquor in my cup. “All I know is there’s been a stigma around me. I have my reasons to keep my distance…”
He watches me drink straight from the bottle, where his lips had been just seconds before. “I don’t know what your reasons are but they can’t be that complicated.”
“So what if they aren’t? You think you can fix them?”
“Baby, if you’d let me, I wouldn’t hesitate.” He yanked the bottle from my hands just as I was about to go in for another gulp. “I could tell why you would doubt me.”
“Enlighten me then.” I put my cup down on the nightstand and leaned on the headboard.
“Well you aren’t the ‘single’ type,” Jungkook’s confidence was beginning to show. “The fact that you are trying so desperately to stay that way probably stems from a bad relationship.”
Normally, I would take offense for his first comment but the alcohol was buzzing my head. He was right regardless of what I thought.
“How observant of you,” I said sarcastically. He shrugged and smirked my way. “I’m afraid it’s a little more complex than that, though.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it then?” I laughed aloud intentionally. Jungkook was not easily offended to my luck. “Or should I keep guessing till I get it right?”
I was very aware that Jungkook would be up for the challenge but I couldn’t stop to see the wrong in this. My alcohol tolerance wasn’t strong and yet, I wasn’t as paranoid or dramatic. But I would surely do something I would regret in the morning.
“You said you’ve only slept with two other people- I don’t necessarily believe that, though. I think you have actually only dated two people.” He was completely wrong but I was interested to know what he thought. “My guess is that you dated some asshole, who only slept with you for a couple months before he left. Then the second guy you liked after but he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship, which he probably never admitted, still, you devoted your time to him.”
Though he was wrong, Jungkook words brought back unwanted memories. Ones that flared anger in my heart and only feed my paranoia. I grabbed my drink and only wanted to bury myself in its poison. Jungkook spoke with confidence but when I failed to respond, he noticed the change on my face.
“Do you think I’m that stupid?” I said with spite. I was that stupid but it angered me that he could see it. He saw the tears build in my eyes before I looked away from him.
“No.” He said noticing his mistake. He placed the now half empty bottle to the floor, moving up the bed a bit more. “I think you’re strong.” I was keeping the tears on the brim of my eyes. “But you’re scared of your feelings cause of what he did to you.”
He sat on his knees beside me, hesitating to go any further. Jungkook was growing closer, wanting to comfort me but I rejected his affection in embarrassment. I was stubbornly full of pride; I hated others pity and sympathy for my stupid choices. My head was beginning to flutter with all different emotions. I was no longer crying about my ex but about everything else. How things with Jungkook would never work out; not a relationship, not even a friendship. I hated the fact that he wanted me in a different way than I was using him. But he was the reason I was thinking that I didn’t want to be so empty and hollow anymore.
“Jungkook, please…stop.” My voice cracked slightly under my hushed words. He tried to touch the hand on my lap but I moved it away to push some of my loose hairs back and regain my composer.
“You don’t have to hide, I won’t do anything you don’t tell me too.” I sucked in a shaky breath, turning my head to face him and met him only inches away from me. His dark chocolate eyes were scanning my face for any signs of objection as he leaned in. My lashes were wet, sticking to each other as I looked up at him and watched his eyes shut softly. I allowed his wet lips to timidly graze mine and my mouth responding erotically by nature. But the kiss wasn’t hot, it was warm and comforting; it was loving in its most innocent form. He cupped my face as a way to relax and ease my immodest behavior. I melted into his touch feeling tense and unsure of what I was getting myself into. It was just like on the beach; Jungkook wasn’t trying to establish any dominance between us, it was simply adoration. “Tell me what to do…”
Jungkook tried to pull away to speak but I kept him close because his affection was stimulating. I grabbed the back of his neck, feeling his skin shiver under my hand. My tongue playfully brushed against his, bringing him to hover over me and continue what we had in mind. I pulled on the collar of his shirt, moving my exposed legs to rubbed against his, easing him on top of me. He pulled away once I struggled to breathe, our hot breaths hitting our lips with the smell of whiskey.
“I don’t wanna be lonely anymore,” I whispered. Nudging my nose against his, I shut my eyes in hope that he would fulfill the aspiration I longed for. “I’m yours.”
There was so much more to say but nothing left to do. I gave myself over to him without a second thought. I wanted what he could give me; comfort, affection, and bliss. Despite what my emotions would be in the morning, this is what I need at the moment. A simple touch from him was enough to set me free.
Jungkook took his time savoring my lips, loving the taste of liquor and me in his mouth. His lips were so soft and just the right amount of moisture to let his tongue slip in. Jungkook leaned me down with my back against the bed. He hummed against my mouth as my hands slipped down his neck and chest. My hand rubbed under the material of his shirt, where his toned chest hid. Jungkook pulled on my waist arching my back off the mattress. His other hand ran up my leg and caressed the flesh of my thigh. He didn’t seem to mind the bit of stubble while he moved under my cotton shorts, feeling the warmth of my inner thigh. Goosebumps shivered down my spine and on my legs. Jungkook’s lips were traveling down my chin with softly pressed kisses. My hand followed the landscape that was his arms while he sucked lightly on my neck.
He paused for a moment to remove his shirt as he started to grow hot. I leaned up to attach my lips on his defined collar bones before he had even thrown the shirt behind him. Jungkook chuckled with a slight groan as his hands grabbed my waist and pushed up my thin shirt up to feel more of me. I followed in his action and removed my top. Jungkook was quick to attack my neck and chest, pushing me gently back onto the bed. His hands cupped and caressed my figure as he left a trail of kisses between the valley of my breasts.
His name left my mouth softly, he was the only thing playing in my mind. My legs tingled with the feathered kisses he left down my abdomen. He kept his eyes open the entire time, admiring my body on his way down to my navel. He stripped my of my shorts but left my damp panties on, kissing and teasing me through the fabric. I squirmed on the bed as his hot breath tickled over my clothed mound. Jungkook took his time running his hands over my thighs and hips.
“I don’t know what you’re doing to me, (Y/n).” He whispered, barely enough for me to hear him. “But I want you,” Jungkook leaned in to kiss over the wet spot on my underwear. “all the goddamn time.”
His words like honey made me whimper and move my knee up, to allow him more area between my legs. I wanted him too. Way more than I was willing to admit to him and even myself. I picked myself up to get a better look at him before he started. His gorgeous face between my thighs was a sight that would be burned into my mind forever. Jungkook smiled up at me, hooking his hand around my leg and kiss the warmest part of my thigh, still, maintaining eye contact. I moved my hand over to him, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes.
I leaned back and watched him hook his fingers around the waistband of my panties, pulling them down my knees and off my feet. He could not keep his eyes off my core, he looked at me with such lust and hunger. I could feel my face and chest grew heated with a breath caught in my mouth, trapped under my bitten lip. His hot soft mouth kissed my lips, running his tongue over the soft flesh. Jungkook’s teasing lips curled into a smile as he peered a look my way. I moaned silently in my mouth while my legs tensed and threshed beside him. He brought out his tongue to brush pass the small bud sticking out from my soaked folds. My hips jerked as he flicked his tongue against my clit, using the wet muscle to stroke against the bundle of nerves that caused me so much pleasure. His mouth worked wonders against me, wanting to make my eyes shut and cry out. The satisfaction shivered and shook throughout my body, made my core rock in flames.
“Mmm.” His lips hummed against my core as he found my wetness lower at my entrance. He tongued over my entrance while his hand spread my folds gently. The lewdest sounds were coming from his mouth as he sucked at the arousal dripping over my skin. My cheeks heated and the rest of my body screamed for more and all of him. Whines left my lips each time he opened his mouth for anything. His free hand was rubbing on my thigh to keep my legs from closing around him. My own hands were grabbing on the sheets, not knowing what else to do with them and keep them from pulling his head any closer to me. He must have had a similar feeling because his hand left my thigh and grabbed a hold of mine; he locked his fingers with mine and allowed me to squeeze as hard as I wanted. His hold was welcoming and eased me into his mouth with enjoyment instead of storming through it.
“Oh! My God…” I hissed as he licked back up my heat to wrapped his sweet lips over my clit. He groaned against my heat as he felt my hips press against him and move against his mouth. Jungkook kept his tongue out and mouth still to let me rock against his face; my abdomen tensed on and off as I tried to keep the beautiful rhythm up myself. His eyes watched me intently as I gasped for air and struggled to please myself.
I could see my wetness glisten over his lips and watched how he enjoyed licking them clean. He let go of my hand to take a hold on both of my thighs, letting my legs rest of his shoulders and beside his head. His face disappeared in between my thighs and a long moan fell past my lips. Jungkook added pressure to my heat and he lapped his mouth over it. My walls began to clench at the pleasure building over my core hoping to find my release soon. Jungkook was working just to that goal in mind when he began to quicken the motions of his tongue.
“Jungkook! Yes, yes please.” I was losing my voice as it began to fade into no words but merely sounds of ecstasy. My stomach was tightening from the violently heavy pleasure, threatening to drown my body to its numbing point. My legs started to shake around Jungkook’s head and his hands tighten around my thighs, holding me close to his mouth. He brought his hand around to my clit, using the pads of his fingers to pressed shapes into it while his mouth slipped along the rest of my skin. My heels dug into his back as my voice grew louder and everything in my head was wiped clean; except the feeling of complete and utter bliss.
“I want to wake up by your side.” Jungkook’s mumbled as he kissed up my stomach and rubbed my legs from the aftershocks of my orgasm. The pool of my heated blood was still running through my body as he came back up. I only got a quick glance of his dusky eyes before his head disappeared into the crook of my neck, kissing my clammy skin and taking my hands in his.
“Kiss me, Jungkook.” I whined softly. I found his lips with my own, cupping his strong jaw while he brushed his tongue past my lips. I could taste myself on his tongue and it only caused me to become further aroused. His denim covered hips pressed into the bare skin of my core, taking my breath away with each roll of his hips. He kissed my cheek after pulling away, watching how my eyes hazed in lust at our explicit contact. His neck veins showed through his skin when he tried to keep his groans in. He looked gorgeous with sweat forming on his face, giving him a soft glow in the light above us.
“I’m going to make you mine, (Y/n).” While he continued to kiss me cheek, his hand was working on the buttons on his pants. My hips were bucking and squirming under him and he pushed the fabric down his legs. His length was already between my folds, lubricating himself with the juices he had caused. “Can I?”
I nodded frantically, pecking his sweet lips once more before locking eyes with him. “Yes.”
He pushed his head through my entrance, my tight walls wrapped around him and throbbed. Jungkook pressed his lips against mine breathing heavily as he pushed himself the rest of the way. I gasped into the kiss, my eyes shutting at the sensation of his length filling me. I still managed to keep our lips moving through the mild thrusts, there was a lot of tongue but it didn’t feel overwhelming. Our lips pressed passionately slow, the hunger of intimacy and endearment was something I had not yet experienced with any man.
My hips pushed into the mattress each time he pushed in, only to pull out and keep the sequence going. I felt the pleasure intense when he hit the deepest parts of me, causing strange noises to erupt from my throat. I felt as if there was a cloud of misty surrounding us, in which we could only feel each other and our connecting bodies. It was a pleasure that builds like no other, it took longer but more care when in it, making it more authentic.
“I think you’re gorgeous.” Jungkook said faintly, causing my eyes to open slowly. His lids were half closed, trying to keep his eyes on me the entire way through. His bottom lip flushed red from his teeth biting into the soft flesh.
I wanted to keep kissing him but the moans leaving my mouth prohibited it. My legs caressed his while his hips pushed between my thighs. His thick brows and damped hair framed his lightly tanned skin. Jungkook’s gripped my hand at the same time he began to push into me harder. The sound of his skin hitting against mine joined the heavy breathing and moans in the room. With a single arm, he tugged at my lower back and brought my hips up to meet his. Our locked hands were resting pinned beside my head. I rocked my body against him the way he liked. My heat was becoming sore and raw from the friction between us but it only added to the pleasure. I could feel myself begin to sink into him emotionally, normally scared to, but now I only wanted to fall in deep.
Jungkook kissed along my jaw, lips pressing soft wet kisses as far as he could reach. My free hand was wrapped around his broad shoulders; only wanting to keep him and never let this end. Short on breath, he still managed to whisper sweet praises in my ear. Making me feel like I was the only women in the world for him. My legs shook on and my only response was to wrap them around his hips.
“Fuck! Baby…” Jungkook groaned, shutting his eye for the first time. He took in a sharp breath between thrusts and swallowed hard. “You’re going to make me come.”
He pressed his entire body against me, hips to hips and chest to chest. His pelvis was grinding hard into my most sensitive skin and my breasts only moved along with his body each time.
“Don’t stop…Jungkook, please.” My orgasm was approaching slowly but strongly. I couldn’t make words in my head much less speak them. My voice had turned into a symphony of crying pleasure as it snuck up my body. Soon I was moaning with every thrust and every second my body was at its highest point of stimulation and sensitivity. I held him close as I was coming to my end, as was he. My ankles locked around him and I kept him still in me with only minimal movement. Our cores connected and throbbed together was enough to lose ourselves in each other.
My mind was wiped clean and my body gave in to him, convulsing with bliss and delight. I could feel Jungkook spill his warm seed in me, a sensation I was not familiar with but enjoyed to its fullest.
My heart was beating fast against his chest, where he was surely doing the same. Our hands were still locked but the grip was loose as our bodies became numb. Jungkook’s face was hidden in the crook of my neck with almost his full weight on top of me. My body was burning up but I didn’t want him to move; he did, however, pull himself out of me, leaving only an empty feeling behind. I removed my hand from his and wrapped it over the other one.
“Don’t leave me.” Tears were welling in my eyes as he lifted his face for me to see. I pushed his hair aside and caressed his delicate features.
“You want me to stay?” Jungkook asked hoping he heard correctly. His eyes were tired but full of joy when I nodded my head. He kissed my lips, wrapping his arms around my body and pulled me on top of him as he rolled onto his back. I looked down at him with an embarrassing big smile on my face. Jungkook’s eyes creased at the corners, showing off his adorable bunny smile. I made myself comfortable in his arms and beside him as he pulled the sheets over us.
The last thing I remembered was that kiss before we said goodnight. The warmth and dampness of Jungkook’s naked skin against my own. I remember looking forward to waking up with him still asleep and his arms still holding me.
But when I did wake up and found him sleeping in my bed; the only feeling I was met with was remorse.
Request from anon:
Can I request a Bucky x reader? Reader is under the protection of the avengers because of an attempt on her life by hydra agents. So she’s kept at the compound with most of the team. While there, Bucky flirts and uses his old 40s charm on her cause it makes her blush. When she can’t sleep she meets him in the kitchen and he finally asks her out and they end up making out half the night.
Note: I really enjoyed writing this so thank you to whoever sent in the request! Oh and if anyone is wondering which sci-fi show is very briefly mentioned it is ‘Doctor Who’ :)
Bucky x Reader
Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their creators <3
You could see right down the barrel of the gun that was being pointed at
your face and although the men currently surrounding you were clearly
communicating with one another you couldn’t make out a single word as the
thumping of your heart filled your ears.
You should have been pleading with them to spare your life, doing
something that would prevent them from pulling that trigger, but you were
frozen to the spot and incapable of anything.
Those two words were powerful enough to cut through the deafening thump
of your heart and they were the last thing you heard before a gunshot sounded
* * * * * * * * * *
Your scream rang out around the room as
you shot up in your bed, sweat dripping from your brow, and your chest heaving
with your unsteady breaths.
This was the fourteenth night in a row
where you had suffered with nightmares from the attack on you by Hydra agents
and they weren’t getting any easier to handle. The Avengers had saved your life
that day but one of the agents had escaped, which meant that he was still out
there and he could try coming for you again at any moment.
leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me 👀
it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha
INSIGHTS ABOUT HIMSELF
the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.
the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh
dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan
INSIGHTS ABOUT WORK & LIFE
i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not /super/ personal or phil-related (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. i’m thinking it could be work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.
that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh
confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”
i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly
INSIGHTS ABOUT PHIL & LOVE
that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.
the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.
obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.
but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.
then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.
i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(
“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((
the new foreign exchange student is surely irritating you to the point of insanity but you cant deny his attraction and the not so secret sexual attention rising between you two
Warning: Usage of alcohol, cussing,smut, foreign exchange student!, angst i guess,
Genre: Smut and angst?
Word count: 8.8K
A/N: Sorry i was supposed to post this early but damn i re downloaded mystic messenger and a bitch cant stop playing that shit. Its addicting
The world was a mighty big place with warm bodies lurking around its every corners. The world was filled with approximately 7.5 billion people around the year of 2017 only growing in population. This meaning approximately 15 billion legs have walked across our planet each telling individual stories of there own. an unspeakable number of hair follicles blowing through the wind while 15 billion hands soothed there tangled hair.
Yet each 7.5 billion person wasn’t the same. Each held there own reason behind the darkness, each person like feathers from pillows of there chaos. We were all interesting in our own ways seeking the attention like a cold lech.
I had been one of the people who craved attention but not going as far as wanting it to suck me dry. I had liked things where as i was involved rather than not. I craved hanging out with my best friends and going to useless parties that wouldn’t matter in my later years. I had managed the boring role of a over slightly egotistical teenagers. Not to the point of my head being filled up of it but just the right amount, i wasn’t a snob.
Somewhere along the mixture of parties and alcoholic mixes i had balanced my school work. I wasn’t the smartest kid in my school but certainly was in my homeroom class, literature. I found it the least amount of work as i grabbed the ink and wrote whatever flowed from the mind. An addict with a pen was forever a living struggle, as long as i kept my mind to it.
I guess with the expectation of keeping up semi good grades i had the joyous opportunity to show our new foreign exchange student around his newly wed high school. He was apart of the 7.5 billion apart of our money hungry world. Filling kids to the brim with false advertisement and dreams forgotten. Certainly moving to the united states would only enhance these qualities.
Our teacher began picking up a conversation on the trilling topic, sending the classroom into a ever longing boredom. The conversation was not well needed but was very educational in some sort of way but was very unreasonable as our new student stood awkwardly at the door. I displayed quick eye contact with him in the mist of trying to see his appearance. I dismissed the eye contact and took in his facial features. They were fairly made of beauty and his dimples surely stood out the most, only enhancing as he smiled.
Our oblivious math teacher continued on with her speech before she turned to the nervous student who appeared to be nibbling on his lip in dispute of the overwhelming welcoming. To make things even more awkward she made sure to slow down on her words to make sure he would understand. I hadn’t known if Namjoon had spoken English or not but it surely was still awkward.
“This is our new foreign exchange student who goes by the name of Kim Namjoon. Please treat him kind and well as he begins his new journey. He is a very brave soul who has seeks to move here in order for freedom. Please respect him and his wishes.”
I physically cringed at her usage of words. Freedom? I hadn’t known why people would come to the united states for a taste of freedom anymore, it was all a blur of false advertisement. Surely Namjoon had to know this to as his face matched mine. My face only contorted more as our teacher made my name fall from her lips.
“Y/N please raise your hand. Namjoon this will be your new seat buddy and your student for the next couple of weeks till you pick things up.”
I raised my hand very lazily growing tired of how she said seat buddy so enthusiastically. She seemed overly excited over the whole situation. Namjoon made his way past the sea of desk before he was met with mine where he seated his belongings down on and proceeded to take a seat.
I heard other classmates groan most of them belonging to girls. The were envious of my position of looking after the new student who was rather attractive surely he had to know as well. Due to my new role of his so called guardian i did feel some sort of special feeling as if he was my own personal keepsake. Of course i had boundaries as well, i didn’t want to do anything to make him uncomfortable.
I took the liberty to look over him as he was sitting professionally in his seat while his eyes read a bored expression. As did everyone else in the class. Everyone checked out as the teacher began her lesson. Her over energetic attitude often drained people from there daily studies and attention span.
“Alright class i will now leave you by yourselves to complete the following problems. Ah Y/N i have a special assignment for one of my few excelling students.”
I mentally rolled my eyes at my new found role. I had been barely passing the semester wondering how i gained this cameo. The teacher wormed around all the other surrounding desk before she was met with mine a Namjoon’s. She began going on about how i would be an excellent help for his educational path or something along those lines. At those words Namjoon lowered himself into the desk and slummed as if he was becoming irritated by the situation at hand.
“Now ill leave you two to the work. Im sure you both will have a super time together!”
“Oh a super duper time!”
My words were spilling with sarcasm but it was obvious she was fairly oblivious to anything coming her way. I turned my attention to a bored Namjoon waiting for the whole thing to be over in a blink of an eye. As was I but if this brought my way to some extra credit i would fake everything with a smile.
“Alright so looks like the lesson is revolving around angles and other boring shit. So lets get started.”
I flipped through the packet before looking up to see Namjoon just staring at me in a curious way. I couldn’t tell if he was confused or if he was just looking at me. None of the less i was confused by his sudden state. So i just took it as a sign of him being confused by the lesson.
“Ya know angles. Like acute obtuse and right. Lets see the first problem shows an obtuse angel. Which is bigger than 90 degrees.”
I began to stretch my body as big as it could go trying to demonstrate an obtuse angel. His eyes began t widen be still managed his bored expression without a blink of another emotion. This making me huff in irritation but still continued on.
I then moved my way to the ground in attempt to turn myself into an acute angel making myself as small as I could. I began going on about how acute angels were small only making him sigh in annoyance. It certainly was a step in the right direction at least he was showing some sort of emotion and body language.
I stood up to demonstrate a right angel before he pulled me back in the desk holding his hand up telling me to stop my attempts.
I run my hands through my hair in sheer anger from his attitude yet he hasn’t been able to put any input in about the situation.
“Listen im just trying to help you out and I don’t understand why you have to be in such a bad mood.”
I said the comment knowing that he couldn’t understand me anyway making me not feel ashamed by my comment. Surely enough that non shameful state vanished rather quick.
“Actual i speak English quite fluently and if you people actually had the decency to consider asking me then this whole thing wouldn’t have happened.”
I was shocked to say the least not that he could speak English but that he was actually contributing to a simple conversation.
“Congratulations to you! Sadly i couldn’t give a rats ass on how people treat you. Im just looking for an extra credit assignment.”
I honestly could careless about what he thought about me. Sure my reputation remained in me having a gracious amount of friends meaning i didn’t need anymore. Namjoon was attractive to say the least but just based off of first impressions his personality was not something that outweighed his looks, he probably thought the same about me.
Surprisingly Namjoon smiled slightly at my statement flicking a piece of my hair.
“It really is a joy to finally here someones honest opinion and actually talking to me like a normal human being but your attitude is absolutely repulsive.”
“Why thank you its my specialty.”
“Is annoying people your specialty as well.”
“Ah are you fucking five years old.”
“Ah are you fucking oblivious that everyone likes you due to your looks.”
It was shocking that he had been here for less than a couple of hours and he was already unlocking the truth. Sure i didn’t have the best personality one that was based on sarcastic comments and back handed compliments. I couldn’t help it though i always was weird when it came to my emotions, i was still an immature teenager trying to figure herself out. I just found it funny how Namjoon already figured myself out more than me.
My lack of response caused Namjoon’s face to soften thinking he had gone to fair but in reality it didn’t effect me in the slightest. It surely wasn’t the rudest thing i heard just the most truthful making me think more about his comment.
The bell rang signaling for lunch and an end to the awkward conversation.
“Well hopefully lunch will fuel your truthful mindset.”
As i got up from i seat i could sense him looking at me as i walked out the classroom. I could tell he was curious about me in some weird way. I really wasn’t anything interesting and sure enough he would find out soon and the bitter truth following along with it.
I had been eyeing the lunch room in search of my two best friends seated at a table. I had plenty of friends and was popular among most peers as were they but we just choose each other for the majority of things. We were comfortable around each other more than others seeking fondness in each other. I spotted them from across the sea of tables as i say to hands waving at me as I waved back. I made my way over to them before i felt someone bump into me.
“Is that who were sitting with?”
I turned over eyeing Namjoon rolling my eyes at his presence.
“That’s who i’m sitting with, get lost.”
“Well then where am I supposed to sit?”
“You can sit with the damn trashcan for all I care.”
I began walking before i turned and saw a saddened look in his eyes making me sigh. Curse MY good ways. He truly did look hopeless it was his first day after all he didn’t know anyone and was most likely nervous to the brim. I rarely had a consonance and at times i hated it. These were one of those times.
“Fine you can sit with me and my friends. Just don’t be yourself you’ll annoy the shit out of them.”
“Oh you actually do care. They certainly look more pleasing and kind then you. How did you end up with friends like that?”
Namjoon proceeded to wave at them and follow to table they were seated at, this was sure enough going to be an enchanting experience.
“So yeah, basically he is my dog he follows me everywhere.”
I had just got done explaining to Jimin and Taehyung that i had to look after Namjoon as he was our new student and in dire need of guidance. Luckily i had been the best person chosen for the job.
“Believe me i have no choice to, the teacher practically forced me to stick by her side. She thinks i’m some helpless child that needs a spoiled self centered 10 year old to look after me.”
I clapped my hands at his observation of my self centered ways. Sure i did think i was pretty but not to the point of where i would literally make out with myself in the mirror. Nothing was wrong with a bit self love but as of right now i hated myself for bringing him over to this lunch table. The only seat available was next to Namjoon making everything even more delightful.
“Wow the teacher sure did a great choice picking you two together.”
Jimin said his statement rather sarcastic pointing out the obvious as me and Namjoon nodded
“I know were just best buddies.”
Namjoon said jokingly putting his arm around me making me scuff at his playful state. I removed his hand from me looking at him in disgust only making Jimin and Taehyung laugh.
“I can practically smell the sexual tension.”
Taehyung was never afraid to let anything flow from his lips. This being one of the reasons why i loved him so much but as of right now i hated that trait. I hated it so much that i was thinking about literally punching him in the face but settled on throwing a carrot at him instead.
Namjoon however laughed it off and took light in the situation by putting his arm back around my shoulder making me roll my eyes yet again. This time however i didn’t remove his hand as I dint see it as a nuisance unlike the rest of him.
Deep down i was scared that like his hand the rest of him would turn more bearable.
Lunch time had finished fast as did the next classes following. The end of the day was already near us. Any other time i would be excited for this to occur but lucky for me our glorious math teacher decided that now would be the perfect time to tutor him. Couldn’t agree more.
Now here we were sitting across from each other. I was actually putting myself to good use as he was mindlessly glaring at me as if he was blaming me for the position he was in now. Believe me I don’t want to be here either but if i wanted to get an excellent grade in math this was the hard work that came with it.
“Are you going to continue glaring at me or actually make yourself useful?”
My statement was sure enough to knock him out of his trance. Still his hard gaze remained but none of the less he decided to open a book. The silence grew more making it peaceful as we gathered information before he decided to open his mouth.
“How is working in complete silence even going to help me? I could be out explore what this place has to offer me rather than doing this.”
“firstly, The purpose of working in silence first is to get the information we need then we group together and discuss the lesson. Now second, Just because you are the new student doesn’t make you fucking special. You are like ever useless body rooming around this anxiety riddled school. Stop idolizing yourself.”
I had been so feed up of his behavior that i had snapped. Not even twenty-four hours together and I was on the brink of stabbing him with a sharp fork. He always talking about how i was self centered while he was. Always thinking that hes special and was meant for far more. Congratulations your just likes every useless soul to room earth.
“Ah thank you for speaking your useless mind. It really brings me joy to see you so irritated by my simple breath.”
I shook my head by his comment decided not to give him the courage by responding. I continued reading not minding him before he viciously decided to speak yet again. Seriously could this guy even shut his mouth for more than a minute.
“Well, we certainly could do something more enchanting more the this. We could tame the sexual tension Tae was talking about.”
Sure his statement had caught me off guard but the usage of the name Tae was enough to make me look up from my book. Namjoon didn’t deserve to call Taehyung by the name of Tae, only me and Jimin did as we were close friends. What gave Namjoon the right to use the name to his advantage.
“You really need to learn to be quiet cause bullshit keeps flying from your mouth and its distracting.”
“So your calling me distracting? Is it because of my irresistible charm.”
I looked at him in disgust as he looked at me with an innocent smile displaying his face.
“More like your irritating irrational behavior.”
I brought my attention back to my book becoming irritated by his nonsense. I hated the way his dimples popped out when he smiled making the situation unbearable for my eyes well being. I would just give anything to have this session to end at any given moment.
My attention was disrupted as I heard the chair next to me squeak signaling someone was bringing the chair out from under the table before that sat in the seat. I looked up to see that Namjoon changed his previous stance which was sitting in front of me where he was now sitting beside me. Oh this session just continues to grow in excitement. Literally wanted to stab him with a fork.
“Why don’t we just demolish this sexual tension before it grows in proximity.”
Namjoon was displaying a whole new persona. One that was oddly satisfying but also disturbing to say the least. No matter what he did I always found it disturbing and repulsive, this act he was doing counted as one of those feelings. Sure the sexual tension was slightly there but there was no need to actually partake in it. Namjoon was like every horny boy in the world and I would not fulfill his needs, well at least not this soon.
Namjoon proceed to put his hand on my thigh in attempt to make me weak under his touch which was failing. I didn’t know why he had been such an overly sexually teenager so suddenly but it was surely becoming more annoying then he already was.
“I suggest you move your hand before I chop it off. I’m sure you wanna keep the hand that you jack off with.”
“I wont anymore once it takes your place.”
My eyes widened as I finally looked up at him. I was surprised by his comment that sent some sort of shock in my body. I began to blush from his comment not use to this sort of open sexual affection. Normally a guy never really said anything along those lines we would be to busy getting down to business. It was just strange to hear those words come out his mouth and i hope he secretly didn’t mean them. Or did I?
“Relax i’m fucking with you. Its pay back for making me attend this stupid tutor shit, I seriously have to go somewhere.”
Namjoon began to fall into a fit of giggles as i just stared at him as if he was crazy. Which i was convinced he certainly was. He had managed to play with my emotions making me think something completely different from what he intended. It definitely fucked with my mind either if I thought about it or not. Now as Namjoon begins to stand up and leave i begin to find my voice again.
“What do you possibly have better going on? No one even knows who you are.”
“Actually Minnie and Tae know me plenty enough. Enough to hang out with me without your presence. Funny how your then best friends find me more likable then you. Crazy I know.”
I didn’t believe a word he said. They wouldn’t do such a thing to me right? I had known Jimin since the begin of freshman and I had knew Taehyung to the end of it. Now that we were in sophomore year I would have thought that we would be good enough friends to stick by each others sides. Maybe this was another one of his ways to mess with me. It was safe to say I hated Namjoon.
“I hate you.”
“I love when you profess your undying love for me.”
With that he exited the library in search for Jimin and Tae. I hated him more than anything. I hated how he acts like hes special. Most of all I hated how he walks into this school stealing things of mine. My friends being the main priority. I hated how he smiled with his dimples and they acted as if they were the peace holder for the earth. I hated everything about him. I just hoped that Jimin and Tae could see him for the slum he truly was. They couldn’t just leave me in the cold. Best friends don’t do that.
Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a solid month. A month of a fiery hell spent on earth. Namjoon managed to completely disrupt the chaos inside of making it only grow in proximity. In the limited time that hes only been here he has managed to change my whole being into something I never imagined myself becoming. The popular party animal likable girl I once was faded into a depressed filled self-conscious girl afraid of the worlds problems.
I hated him because of this. He stole everything I had managed to wear it better than me. He turned my life into a living hell and he thought nothing of it. He still pushed me around thinking it was mindless joking only breaking me down but the fiery only raised in heat. I couldn’t do anything about it only just sit and watch it happen, but as of tonight I felt as if it would be different.
I had been stuck at my job working as a cashier at the local small convenient store. It was badly deserted only the occasional passer by. I had been mindlessly chipping at my nails not paying attention to the surrounding before a light tap on the counter brought my attention to the suffer.
“Hello Mrs. we were wondering if you could do the honor of checking out our items.”
I had wished I wasn’t working tonight as I was faced with Taehyung Jimin and the infamous Namjoon, or as people call him around school Rap Mon. I felt my mood turn to a more annoyed one when I was graced by his presence. This same emotion began to take a tole on Taehyung and Jimin. I truly did love the both of them but as they got together with Namjoon they became different people. People I never thought they would become.
I began scanning the items and bagging them before i grabbed a hold of the beer.
“I’m going to need to see your IDs please.”
“Come on, don’t be like this babe.”
I held the same stone cold bored look not bothered by his small nickname for me. It was just another way to try and play with my emotions. Something he had thought he had been good at.
“Don’t be like what? I’m not going to lose my job over your arrogant ass.”
“Oh don’t you just love me.”
“I hate your fucking guts. I will literally hit you with a shovel.”
“I love when you profess my undying love for me.”
I rolled my eyes pushing the alcohol away telling them to put it back.
“Come on Y/N you use to be fun to hang out with. Not this buzz kill.”
The comment had came from Taehyung surprising me that he even intervened. He never said anything remotely negative to me. He was a relatively sweet and caring guy always getting along with everyone and never thought of hurting anyone. Either it be emotional or physically.
“Come on guys, please don’t act this way to Y/N. She doesn’t deserve it.”
Jimin smiled slightly and attempted to make slight eye contact with me. Jimin had always tried to back me up but I could tell he didn’t want to pick sides and I didn’t want to put him in an awkward position.
“Your right she doesn’t deserve it. Some people just simply change and they don’t know it.”
Taehyung finished his comment picking up the unpaid alcohol while Namjoon picked up the remaining items.
“Your right some people do change.”
I said those final words as if i was spitting venom from my mouth. The words seemed to affect Taehyung as well as his face softened as if asking if it was true. He knew it was which saddened me. He loved being liked by many people that he didn’t realize that he was destroying his other friendships.
“You guys can go, i’ll met you in the car.”
Jimin shewed the others off. Taehyung payed me one last look before following after Namjoon like a sad puppy.
“I’m sorry, they probably don’t mean it.”
I raised my eyebrows sarcastically. Jimin noticed my gesture as his hands reached out for mine making me look back up at him meeting his saddened eyes.
“Listen I know Tae has been acting stupid lately but trust me he misses you.”
“Sure has a damn funny way of showing it.”
“Well I know I miss you for sure. I really do Y/N, I miss talking to you. I forget what its like to actually have a conversation with someone who doesn’t judge me.”
Me and Jimin had knew each other before we even met Taehyung, meaning we had a more strong welled bond. I never judge him and he never judge me as we didn’t find the need to. I remember one night Jimin had came out to me being gay after being so scared of accepting it, so he told me. He told me because he knew I wouldn’t judge him and his sexuality. Sure Taehyung was the same as me but as of now he wasn’t.
“What do they say about you. Minnie i swear i will shove my fist up there asses if they ever make you feel uncomfortable.”
Jimin laughed slightly before looking back up at me with a warm smile. I was confused to say the least by his gesture.
“I’m sorry its just. I haven’t heard you call me Minnie in a while and i just miss it.”
I smiled warmly at him before leaving the counter to go hug him lovingly. He really wasn’t like them. He never aimed to hurt anyone even if he did he didn’t purposely mean to do so.
“Now what have they said too you?”
“Nothing to extreme. They say Jimine pabo, so nothing to bad.”
I hadn’t known what he said since I didn’t speak a lick of Korean. I still knew it couldn’t be a good thing judging by his body language. I just wish there was something i could do to make him feel at least an ounce better.
“You know what, you should come to the party with us. Before you say no just please think about it. I miss you a lot and maybe your presence will set Tae back into his actual self.”
God of course this was the only way to make him feel better. I really hated having a good soul sometimes.
“Uh, fuck it sure.”
Jimin busted into excitement as he hugged me tightly uttering many amounts of thank yous. I smiled at him feeling a small amount of happiness but that quickly diminished as soon as the car ride began. I would have given anything to just be back at the lonesome convenient store rather than suffer from the tension. Instead i tried to focus on the street lights. I counted each as we drove past them. Each number was soon represented the amount of times I wanted to punch Jimin for making me attend this gathering.
I loved Jimin but damn I hated him as of right now.
We had been at the party for nearly two hours and surprisingly I had been having a good time. Int he last two hours i managed to play a game of beer pong and having conversation with people slowly but surely hoping to earn my title back. I had almost forgotten how trilling it was to party and not have a care in the world. Of course that had to end soon.
“Don’t you look absolutely ravishing tonight.”
I turned and was greeted by Namjoon. I examined my outfit realizing that I had still been wearing my work outfit. I was far to drunk to actually care about my presence or the fact that he was trying to pick on me.
“Thank you for finally acknowledging my fashion. It really warms my heart so.”
“I’ve also noticed how you have been checking me out all night.”
I definitely wasn’t to drunk to actually admit to something like this. Sure I had glanced at him once or twice but it was nothing major.
“Denial is a real thing Namjoon and you need to accept that. Its okay I get it your real fucking oblivious to things but you need to accept that I will never like you.”
“See Y/N you are right denial is a sad sickness. One that you in fact need to get over and just accept that I am not the bad guy.”
Namjoon held a drink in his right hand as his other skittered around my waist bringing us closer. Any other time I would push him away but with the alcohol lurking through my system it made things more bearable.
“Oh but you are. Your the big bad wolf gobbling everything in your way.”
“You sure aren’t a peach either. Your the evil witch who thinks she’s the prettiest of them all but can’t even complete with half of the people put in the world.”
I put my hand on my heart faking as if I was hurt. It did sting slightly but I didn’t let it effect me enough. Namjoon soon put down his drink to put both hands around my waist making use grow even closer than before.
“I can’t stand when you touch me.”
“Ah I make you that weak? Maybe you should take a seat.”
Namjoon picked me up and placed me on the kitchen counter as he got in between my legs. He flashed me his giddy smile with his dimples on display. This caused me to giggle slightly from the sight, I couldn’t control my emotions around him.
“Ah she does laugh and smile.”
Namjoon proceeded to ruffle my hair only making me laugh more. I hated it. It was the alcohol that showed my true feeling and emotions. I just didn’t want him to see it.
“Yeah your pretty cool when you aren’t a jackass.”
Namjoon’s eyes softened as he aimed to grab my hand. I wrinkled my eyebrows confused by the sudden behavior.
“Hey listen there’s something I wanna talk to you ab-”
Namjoon was cut off by the loud abundant blonde bimbo who latched herself onto him. Namjoon was fairly popular with the ladies obviously meaning that he should be ready at every moment. As of now he wasn’t but none of the less he held on tight to the girl as she spoke drunkenly to him.
I hopped off the the counter not wanted to see what mostly likely would occur next. Namjoon rolled his eyes to the situation but still enjoyed as the girl shoved her tongue down his throat.
Jimin soon appeared from the crowd and took notice of my mood. Jimin grabbed onto my hand dragging me into the living room where other teenage bodies were. Jimin called out for a seemingly fun game of spin the bottle making everyone cheer and me groan as he turned and smirked at me.
When did high school parties start becoming so cliche.
We had all managed to squeeze into a small circle with a empty beer bottle lying in the middle. Namjoon had been sitting in front of me eyeing me every time someone spun the bottle in hopes they wouldn’t land on me. I don’t know why he seemed to worry so much but as my turn approached he had straightened himself out eyeing the bottle with all his might. Secretly I had been doing the same thing, eyeing every time someone spun the bottle hoping it wouldn’t land on him. Of course it did the majority of the times making my stomach churn.
I eyed the bottle as did other before it landed on Namjoon. Oh luck was truly on my side as of now.
I moved closer to Namjoon wanting the deed to be over with already. As i was face to face with him he moved his mouth to my ear.
“I would rather die than kiss you.”
“You really think I wanted this to happened jackass.”
“I don’t know what goes on in your arrogant ass mind.”
“Shut up and just kiss me semi good so this can be over with.”
“Whats in it for me, so you can get yourself off later”
“I’ll stop bothering you.”
Namjoon looked at me with some sort of sympathy or sort of sadness, as if he didn’t want it to happen. I must have been tricking myself due to alcohol lurking through but I was still eager to kiss him. I wasted no time to bring our lips together creating a lovely collision between the both of us. As much as i hated to admit it but he was a good kisser. Soon enough our tongues began to mix together not minding anyone else who was around us well before one of Namjoon’s sluts pulled us apart.
“Namjoon, what the hell. You are only allowed to kiss me like that.”
I rolled my eyes at her behavior. It was really sad how desperate she was being specifically to someone like Namjoon. Sure he was attractive and had his own little witty comments that managed to make any female swoon but besides that he was repulsive. After the kiss I was only focused on his attractive witty side rather than the repulsive one. I was way to sober for this.
“Well, I need a drink.”
I proceeded to get up from my previous position moving myself outside attempting to bring myself back to my regular mindset. Maybe some fresh air was the solution to this but as soon as Namjoon opened his mouth i was brought right back to the previous mindset.
“Did you just come outside to just have an excuse to not talk about what just happened?”
“N- actually why is that any of your fucking business. Listen i’m real fucking stressed out. I just possibly lost my best friend, i’m losing my shit and cant keep myself together because of you.”
“Because of me? What possibly could i do to somehow impact your life so fucking greatly i didn’t do anything terrible to you.”
I looked at Namjoon baffled as he stood there obvious as ever. A common expression playing on his face.
“Holy fucking shit how oblivious can you be. You turned my life into a living hell. First you stole my friends from me and gained this insane amount of popularity and became this big party animal. Everything i use to be. I couldn’t give a shit about the popularity and the parties but you stole my fucking friends. That’s why i hate your guts and there must be some hidden reason on why you hate mine.”
Namjoon examined my angered state looking at me as if i had two heads. This only filed my anger. I shouted at him asking what was his problem before he shook his head in disbelief.
“You really are oblivious.”
I shook my head in irritation.
“You drove them away. You began becoming so closed off because you weren’t the center of attention anymore that you stopped hanging out with us. Why cant you just fucking learn that the world doesn’t revolve around you.”
As Namjoon finished his sentence I began taking notice in what he said. Was the whole stealing my best friends thing just some sort of illusion I made up in my mind. It couldn’t have been, they just stopped hanging out with me. It wasn’t my fault but either way Taehyung was right. People certainly do change.
“So that’s the reason why you hate me so much?”
Namjoon ran his hand through his hair letting out a dry laugh before eyeing me.
“I don’t hate you idiot. I cant fucking stand you and the shit you put me through but I don’t hate you. I fucking like you and if you didn’t have your head so fair shoved up your ass you would realize that. I’ve liked you ever since you shared your honest opinion with me. You weren’t fake like all the other girl, you were up front and blunt. I like that about you yet i cant stand it.”
I looked at him with all the amount of shock riddled in my body. He stood there hopeless asking me to say something. I couldn’t muster any words. He couldn’t like me. he was supposed to hate me just as much as i hated him. With this new found information it really opened up my outlook on him. My mindset began to open but I closed it right back up afraid of what lurks inside.
“How are you going to like somebody when you ruined there whole being. Please tell me that Namjoon?”
“I can pick up all the broken pieces and make them new again. Please i don’t know what i did to cause it be i promise i can make it better,”
Namjoon reached out to hold my hand as i jerked away trying to gain distance from him as he only grew closer trying to smooth me away. It wasn’t going to work, I was on the berate of beginning to hate myself more than I hated him. The truth was I never really even hated him, it was just a persona I played that I even lead myself to believe. I admired him and his careless attitude I just hated that I wasn’t in the picture.
“Hey Y/N, you ready to go?”
I turned and say a sad Jimin with his hands in his pocket. I looked at Namjoon and back at Jimin nodding my head. I made my way to Jimin ignoring Namjoon’s pleads and cries. He didn’t like me and he never would. I had drowned my feelings for him why couldn’t he do the same? I had managed to barry my feelings for him before they grew to strong knowing they would become a problem, but as I walked away and was getting in the car with Jimin i could feel those feelings start to surface again. Fuck did i hate the feeling.
Kim Namjoon was one of the 7.5 billion people in the world but he was the only person who managed to make me feel like one whole person while all the others were simple passerby’s. And I was willing to let what I had go.
A month turned into two leading to five. Five months of no communications to Namjoon or Taehyung as i was to afraid to face my unidentified feelings. It wasn’t Taehyung i was confused with but rather Namjoon. I knew what feelings held for him i just didn’t want to except them and open them out for the world to see them freely. I truly did like him but those feelings were remained to stay closed off. For now i had Jimin and he was there to capture my feelings helping me understand them better but still hadn’t chose to open them out for others to see. Jimin had seen me mop around the house over all the unexplained feelings before he came up with a conclusion.
As of now me and Namjoon had been up in my room attempting to study together. Jimin had told me that he needed help with literature homework only to drop off Namjoon at my front door. We were both confused to say the least but since we had nothing better to do we were stuck to study together was definite better than the different options we had which was to talk. I realized this study session would be cut short and would switch to the alternate vision as Namjoon slammed the book and turned to me. Could this guy ever shut his mouth?
“Listen i’m sorry if i ever did anything to make you uncomfortable, but will you please tell me what i did for you not to talk to me for five months?.”
“You know what i’ve realized about you? Girls flock to you just because your a foreign exchange student and your new but your just like ever useless american boy in america. You don’t care about anyone’s feelings.”
“And you think your so fucking perfect? Your so fucking stubborn its driving me to the brink of insanity. It fucking kills me how someone so beautiful can be so ugly inside.”
“No one told you to like me jackass.”
“At least i’m not a pussy and i’m not afraid to actually accept my feelings.”
It struck a nerve inside me by how well he could read me and my emotions. By now he seemed as if he knew more about my emotions and feelings more than me. I hated how well he knew me and i hated how much i was drawn into him because of that and the other uncountable reasons. He was right i was suborn to not accept all this but i wouldn’t tell him so.
“My feelings hate you.”
“Oh how i love when you profess your undying love for me.”
“I hate when you say that.”
“I know you secretly love it, your just to stubborn to actually realize it.”
“What will it take for you to shut your mouth for one damn second?”
“Talk about your feelings and emotions you have, and don’t run away from them. That doesn’t sound so hard now does it?”
Namjoon looked at me and smirked down at my angered persona. He knew i wasn’t capable of doing so but he wanted to see how far i would go. I wouldn’t go to far since I couldn’t even accept my own feelings leaving me only one way to actually show my emotions.
I quickly brought my lips to Namjoon’s enjoying the feeling of feeling his lips back on mine after five months. He truly did have the softest lips one might ever have felt.The kiss soon became aggressive as he pulled me onto his lap wanting to feel more of me. Our tongues began to mix together in aggression from trying to fulfill the last five months. All this tension had manged to build up to finally crash down.
Namjoon began to grow more aggressive as he squeezed my ass earning a slight moan to slip from my mouth. Namjoon eyed me with lustful eyes as that small moan escaped my mouth. Namjoon had identified my eager state as he placed me on the desk getting in between my legs. Namjoon proceeded to grind himself into my heat and kiss my neck hungrily. Namjoon then dipped his hand into my heat as I let out a tiny moan from the new fond friction.
“Your terribly wet for someone you seem to hate. Sure you still cant stand my guts?”
“More than anyone else i’ve ever encountered.”
Namjoon took this comment as a challenge as he slide down my pants eyeing my soaked underwear. I felt slightly vulnerable as he eyed my clothed sex but lost all state of mind as he took them off and proceeded to kitten lick my women hood. Namjoon was eager but not to eager to not pleasure me enough, which he was doing a great job as he focused most of his attention on my clit while teased my entrance. This enough was make me squirm.
“Ah fuck Namjoon. I cant.”
Namjoon looked up at me before curling his fingers hitting my G-spot in hopes of making me come to the edge. I was already close as my walls clenched around his fingers. Namjoon continued on circling his tongue around my clit pushing me to the edge as i let out one final moan. Namjoon continued to slurp up my juiced before coming back up to my level.
“You still hate me after i made you cum better than all the guys who fucked you before?”
“Still cant stand your guts.”
Namjoon’s eyes darkened even more than before making me slightly weaken under his touch. He proceed to carry me to the bed as he grabbed a condom from his wallet while I laid underneath him awaiting.
“You really keep condoms in your wallet?”
“Well you’ll never know when your enemy secretly has been wanting to fuck you this whole time.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t wait for him to enter me and give me what i gratefully desired. Namjoon had finished rolling on the condom as he asked permission to which i nodded eagerly. I felt Namjoon’s cock wrap around my walls sending me into over drive. I had kept my mouth afraid to show him how much i was enjoying this. Namjoon proceeded to speed up eyeing my state smirking as beads of sweat rolled down his face as he reached unbelievable speeds.
“Are you to afraid to admit how good my cock feels wrapped around that tight pussy of yours?”
I whimpered slightly from his comment only pushing me to the edge. Namjoon grabbed onto one of my legs putting in over his shoulder hitting a new position. The new found position sent me into a new form of nirvana making me let out a moan that i couldn’t hold back.
“Ah fuck Namjoon, fuck right there.”
Namjoon smirked at my sudden vocal commotion only driving him more. Namjoon soon displayed a few moans of his own as he speed up. Namjoon was certainly doing unspeakable things to me not only in bed but also with my emotions that i could no longer keep under control. They were sure to spill out soon. As of now i couldn’t focus to long on it as my second orgasm was approaching.
“Can you go any fucking faster?”
“If go any harder our not gonna want me to stop.”
Namjoon put his words to action as he held into my leg pounding into me as i let out an uncontrolled moan that i didn’t expect. I loved making a rise out of him, it always gave me what i wanted and he never disappointing. Namjoon was giving me countless amount of reasons for him to be worthy and it took to this point of sexual tension for me to finally realize it.
I had let out one final moan as i came undone as Namjoon soon followed behind as our moans mixed together in a form of bliss. Namjoon got off from atop of me to throw the condom away in the bedside trashcan. After the mind blowing sex we hadn’t really expected we laid there in silence looking up at the ceiling.
“I’m, uh sorry if i was to rough.”
I nodded not really knowing how to respond. Namjoon turned his body using his elbow to prop himself up eyeing me.
“Do you really hate me this much? I had thought at least after all this you would show some sort of affection.”
I let out a soft sigh feeling nervous that the conversation was approaching. I hated talking about my feelings especially when it came to him, but there was no running away now. I turned my body facing him seeing his eyes soften before switching back to a poker face as we eyed each other.
“I-I don’t hate you. I never did its just uh i don’t know I just have a hard time showing my feelings. I don’t hat you i guess i like you. It was just this persona i put up. I acted like i hated you but in reality i really admire you.”
I closed my eyes as i stated what i felt before opening them back up greeted by a smiley dimpled faced Namjoon. He displayed a happy state as mine copied his seeing that he wasn’t weirded out by what i said making my mood lighten. Namjoon pulled me into a hug making me laugh lightly feeling actually okay with my feelings for once.
“You know Taehyung misses you, a lot.”
I had stiffened at his name feeling my emotions contract again and so could Namjoon.
“Yeah im sure he does.”
“No im serious, sure he doesn’t say anything but i can just see it in his eyes. Almost as if somethings missing but he cant seem to figure out what or rather who it is.”
I opened my mouth to say something before Namjoon’s phone rung. Namjoon took one arm away from my bare body to examined his phone. Namjoon had typed away before looking back at me with a guilty smile making me look at him confused.
“What did you do?”
“I may have just invited you to hang out with me Taehyung and Jimin. So this should be fun.”
I sighed at Namjoon and his attempt to fix my relationship with Taehyung. Me and Namjoon hadn’t even been on good terms for a couple of hours and he was already disrupting the chaos in my life. Seems like something he does quite often.
I thought i would have been prepared for this but i certainly was not. I had been face to face to Taehyung as Jimin and Namjoon were awkwardly in the background awaiting for the next few moves. Taehyung moved slowly to me before he full on engulfed me in a heart warming hug. His hands gripped around my waist as mine gripped his neck while my nose was in the crock of is neck taking in his scent.
“Oh my god ive missed you so much. Im sorry that ive been such a mean person i truly didnt mean it i just- Ah i dont know. I dont deserve you or your forgiveness but i just cant live without one of my best friends.”
“I missed you too Tae.”
I laughed slightly as he hugged me tighter at the nickname. The hug didnt last long before Namjoon pulled us apart and eyed Tae with a glare.
“Alright thats enough now get our hands off of my girl.”
I smiled softly as Namjoon came behind me and put his arms around my waist bringing us closer in proximity. Tae looked at us with a smirk and pointing between us.
“I see you both settled the sexual tension.”
“Oh you dont even know the half of it.”
Jimin grabbed Tae and walked out my door as they went on to talk about mine and Namjoon’s new found relationship. We followed soon after them hand in hand engaging in small conversation before we got in Jimin’s car.
This time the rid was filled with obnoxious laughs long lived conversation unlike the awkward tension it once was filled with. Namjoon still had his arm around me as we sat in the back seat occasionally stealing a small kiss from me informing me everything was going to be okay.
Namjoon managed to destroy my world but then pick up the broken pieces making them new again.Out of the 7.5 billion people apart of our world i was the only person who was feeling such an extraordinary feeling. It surely wasn’t love as it was to soon but it was a sign of reassurance that Namjoon and i would be okay rather it be boyfriend and girlfriend or strictly friendship. I knew we wouldn’t go on bad terms. These 7.5 billion people roamed our earth, but as of now i only focused one the four of us. The four people who made my world rotate and the one person who made me feel as if i was the only person on planet earth.
Namjoon was the one person i hated the most out of all of these people but somehow he managed to be the one person i cared about most. I had finally accepted my emotions and fate, finally being able to accept it as he sat lovingly by my side.
request: “Could you do a HP imagine where the reader has an adorable crush on Harry and she is slightly embarrassed by it because he is a known wizard and a lot of people like him as well. She doesn’t want any attention brought on herself in general or for her feelings to be known since she is shy. One day however someone wants to publicly humiliate her so they call her crush on him out. But she doesn’t know that Harry likes her as well so Hermionie or Ron encourage him to console her and admit his crush”
— by anon
TW Rape: My partner and I are both genderqueer & non-binary (AFAB). When my partner was younger, their father forced them to watch het porn as conversation therapy. Because of this, they developed PTSD-like symptoms, mainly when considering penetrative sex with someone who has a penis. I too experience similar PTSD after having been violently raped by cis men as a teen. Would either of us be considered transphobic for having negative reactions to the idea of penetrative sex involving a penis?
I’ve had this conversation on here a lot of times before. I could point to a post of mine in that debate but I think the best reply was bu unquietpirate, and it’s this one:
I appreciate seeing some people having this conversation, because this is something I’ve thought about a lot and haven’t had a clear articulation for. Basically, what it boils down to is a situation where two legitimate experiences of oppression are clashing — one in which survivors are triggered on the basis of legitimate trauma, and one in which marginalized people are having their marginalization reinforced by having their bodies treated as a threat.
Incidentally, this is a pattern we see in some other places, too. The one that most immediately comes to mind is the way that white women often respond to black men in public. On the one hand, we have women saying that they feel vulnerable around men, regardless of race, especially walking alone late at night, etc. and that sounds pretty legit. At the same time, we have people of color pointing out that white women’s fear and perception of black bodies as “threatening” has long been used as an excuse to oppress and incarcerate men of color.
Generally, when someone has less institutional power than you, publicly asserting that you find their body threatening is, in actuality, a threat against them. Because, as a person with privilege, the institution is interested in making sure you feel comfortable and not threatened — at the expense of the other person’s safety if necessary. In other words, publicly stating that you feel “unsafe” around “oppressed type of person X” is, on an extremely micro level, a little bit like calling the cops on a homeless person outside your house. “Hello, Officer? There’s someone sleeping on the street over here. They’re not really causing trouble, no, but…it’s just making me nervous. Is there anything you can do?”
I have a friend, a poor white queer woman, who was mugged in downtown New Orleans once when she was a teenager. The people who mugged her happened to be two large black men. And she struggles with this now because she doesn’t want to be a racist, and yet she finds herself avoiding black men on the street, partly because of lingering trauma from that experience. As a young person, she associated that experience with her muggers’ blackness and that became a part of her experience of the trauma of being mugged.
There’s no doubt in my mind that the experience of being mugged at 19 in a strange city is genuinely traumatizing. It also seems obvious, to my friend herself and to me, that as a white person with the power to institutionally harm people of color, she has more responsibility than she would otherwise to work through the elements of that trigger that are rooted in racism. It’s not necessarily that her avoidance of black men today is a show of active racism; it may simply and entirely be a trigger-reaction to past trauma. But it’s likely that the trauma lodged itself in her psyche the way it did because of racist ideas she held at the time — after all, she subconsciously associated her experience specifically with the mens’ blackness; she didn’t just develop a phobia of “people who live in New Orleans”, or “pairs of large men”, or “men with guns”, or “muggers.” Her subconscious singled out and specified their Blackness as the relevant characteristic in her mugging — and then clung to that fixation for ten years.
And, because of the system’s desire to make her as a white person feel comfortable, her lingering psychoemotional phobia of a group of people who have less institutional power than her puts those people in danger.
Similarly, I get that some people have had legitimately traumatizing, sexually violent experiences with someone who had a penis. But, contrary to cartoonish cultural belief, a penis is not an autonomous entity with a mind of its own. A penis doesn’t commit rape. A person commits rape. And subconsciously hyperfocusing on the rapist’s genitals (or their skin color, or their socioeconomic class, etc.) as the source of the rape suggests something about prejudices that probably pre-existed the traumatizing experience — such as the cissexist prejudice that penises are inherently linked with masculinity and sexual violence.
That doesn’t mean the trauma’s not real! It just means the trauma is manifesting through the cultural lens that the traumatized person brought to the experience. That cultural lens can still have oppressive socialization in it; that slate isn’t wiped clean by the fact that the person was victimized — even though it sucks that they were. I’m not sure if I’m articulating this very clearly. I guess maybe what I’m trying to say is this: The OP seems to be asking for a compact way to express, “I’ve had traumatizing experiences with some people who had penises, and I’m not currently willing or able to prioritize resolving that trauma, so instead I don’t want to interact with any people who have penises right now.” That’s a completely legit desire, depending on where that person is in their healing and recovery process. But I don’t think it’s a simple enough desire that we should boil it down to a one-word identity label.
Although, again, in the course of our each of our healing processes, I’d encourage prioritizing the healing of traumas that makes us dangerous to vulnerable people first. If I’m recovering from battlefield PTSD, the first thing I want to do is make sure my own safety needs are met, and the next thing I want to do is make sure getting triggered doesn’t result in me lashing out and hitting my spouse. Likewise, if I’m recovering from a traumatizing experience with a penis, the first thing I want to do is just make sure I’m okay, and the next thing I want to do is make sure getting triggered doesn’t result in me lashing out at trans women. … I mean…analogies are tricky, obviously…but let’s say I was raped by a very large, strong, heavy person who used their size to overpower me sexually, and now that makes me feel nervous around people who are physically bigger than me — including (but not limited to) fat people. How do I explain that I don’t want to date fat people because I’m triggered by their bodies because I was raped by a fat person once? How do I express that in a way that both allows me to take care of myself and avoids perpetuating fatphobia?
Or, to go back to the original analogy: Let’s say I was raped once, and the person who raped me was a black man, and now I feel nervous around black men and don’t want to date them. How do I express that? And how do I express it in a way that doesn’t perpetuate racism? Because, ultimately, these scenarios are similar to, “I was raped once, and the person who raped me had a penis, and now I feel nervous around people with penises and don’t want to date them.” How do you express that in a way that honors your healing process but doesn’t perpetuate transmisogyny?
I don’t have an answer to any of these questions. I guess I’m just trying to point out that I don’t think coming up with some word people can slap on their blog along with the rest of their identifiers is appropriate in any of these situations. Negotiating the tricky space between setting boundaries that keep us safe and trying our best not to perpetuate oppression is difficult and important and it’s always going to be difficult. I really don’t think there’s a shortcut around that process. And I also think there are lots of considerate and compassionate ways to turn down dates with people who trigger you besides telling them that they trigger you.
I just can’t imagine trying to come up with a “polite” word people could use to say “I don’t fuck fat people. Their bodies freak me out” even if the reason fat bodies freak you out comes from some kind of trauma. There have got to be better ways to navigate that situation. And I think there have got to be better ways to navigate this situation than coming up with a newer, gentler, more compassionate word to describe people who are afraid of trans* bodies. I mean, come on, we already have a word that literally describes people who are afraid of trans* bodies: Transphobic. … All we’re really saying here is that, when someone is transphobic in a way that fixates on trans womens’ penises, sometimes that transphobia is based purely in generalized cultural prejudice about penises, and other times that transphobia is based in specific instances of personal trauma with people who had penises. That’s fine. Whatever. The ultimate impact of your phobia on trans women is the same — your fear still makes you still dangerous to them.
So, if you want to argue that your transphobia is a result of trauma and that you’re not ready to deal with it, fine, that’s where you’re at; just own that shit. Accept that one of the many negative consequences of your experience with sexual violence is that it made you more transphobic, and that sucks, and that dealing with it isn’t a priority for you right now. Have the decency to be transparent about that, so trans women folks can know that you’re not a safe person to be around right now and avoid you if they want to.
I mean, look, on some level everyone’s prejudice is an artifact of trauma. Isn’t it? Personal prejudice against marginalized folks is an element of systemic abuse. Most people become abusers because they, themselves, were abused. That’s worth being compassionate about, absolutely. But it’s not enough to get people off the hook when they do abusive shit.
So, before Thor Ragnarok, for me at least, Loki was more a Sympathetic villain or antagonist with redeemable qualities. Like, his actions in Thor 2 were good, but they were for his own sake, his main motivation was, in a long term, to get the throne, something that he does.
But in Thor Ragnarok his motivations are not clear for me, and that’s the reason why now I don’t know where to place him!!
I mean, when he was acting like Odin his government was all basically about arts and venerating himself (my bet, this guy just loves to be loved and wanted the people of Asgard to love him as a hero lol, and that was to please his own pride) but then we get a scene where we see Odin call Loki “son” and also saying his mother would have been proud of him… That is new, more if we take care of the fact that what Loki apparently wanted in the first Thor installment was the recognition and love of Odin (not in a good way, but we get it) and to be equal as Thor.
Later in Ragnarok we get a conversation between Loki and his brother
Thor: “I thought the world of you.. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever but.. At the end of the day, you are you and I am me. And now maybe there’s still good in you but let’s be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago”
Loki (surprisedly serious and not looking like, yes I want this!): “Yeah, it’s probably for the best we never see each other again"
And then Loki tries to betray Thor again, but then there’s another new thing now… Thor actually predicted the trick and in this story, that’s a game changer to me, ‘cause it shows that maybe now Thor actually gets Loki.
And then we’re in Asgard again and in the middle of the battle Loki suddenly arrives. Thor doesn’t look even a little surprised, he even says “You’re late”
So what was that? Then obviously Thor knew Loki was going, but how? That’s why he said these things to Loki before?
But, what really is freaking me out, is why did Loki not just came back, but willingly helped Thor and became a Revenger (lol)
Was it to please his pride again? (With all the “Your savior is here”) Was it for a tiny piece of love for Asgard and its people as his home? Was it because he wanted to help Thor, because he loves his brother (I mean, for me he clearly does, at least in his own way)? Did we just see for first time a noble Loki?
Or was it part of a bigger plan where Loki wants to get something bigger for himself (as would be usual in his selfishness)?
He took the tesseract, that’s obvious. But why did he? When he was Odin he had free pass to take it, still he didn’t ‘till that moment. Maybe because everything was gonna get destroyed and leave that destructive thing right there wouldn’t have been a good idea at all (that’s true). Maybe because he thought it could be useful in the future, or maybe just because why not? It’s Loki.
Still I don’t think coming back to Asgard had something to do with the tesseract. He went to that room after Thor suggested his master plan, and he wasn’t going there before that.
At the end he actually looks by Thor’s side (but he has looked like that before!)
So, for me, Loki can still be a sympathetic villain. Or just an anti-hero with the possibility of a good redemption arc.
But that depends on his motivations for saving Asgard’s people… And also depending on whose side he’s gonna take in Infinity War.
When Thor said “I might give you a hug if you were actually here” and then Loki answers “I’m here” for me it screams possible redemption arc in big (also, BROMANCE) and this scene also shows a change, and a big one. Loki is never there, Loki never moves from the same, he doesn’t evolve and keeps being trapped with his past and his problems and for me this scene is meant to show that now there’s a change, now Loki is there. What that means for the future, we only can wait to see.
But all of this also makes me insanely conscient that This Is Loki™ and even if he gets a redemption arc, he still has to be Loki, unpredictable, tricky Loki. If writers give them an arc like that then it’s gonna be highly interesting to see how our mischievous is being at the good side (if he ever is).
And if they don’t give them that, although that would be disappointing for me, I hope they at least give the character justice. Many are speculating Loki will bring the tesseract to Thanos, etc etc, ant that may be true, maybe he will do an heroic action to save Thor at the end, or maybe not, who knows?!
For now, for me, Loki is a tentative antihero. Because I can’t actually discern his motivations at the end of Ragnarok, and because I don’t know if he would keep himself by Thor’s side or if he’ll change later. So, we’ll see
You had had friends all your life. A giggly group of girls to cling to all through elementary school. A little clique in the back corner of high school classrooms. Intellectuals you could have stimulating conversations with over top ramen in your college dorm.
You moved from friend group to friend group seamlessly, never getting past surface level knowledge of each of them. You rarely found one person you could spend an unending amount of time with. And you thought this would last your entire life - you had come to the conclusion that best friends or soulmates just weren’t for you.
Then in waltzed Lin, frantic and messy and completely out of your comfort zone that you couldn’t help but feel that unfamiliar pull. He was funny and charming and the kind of artsy cute that would have made a younger you scoff.