Why don't you wanna be a girl anymore?
Sometimes when I tell people I identify as trans they ask questions like “why don’t you wanna be a girl anymore” or say things like “oh I understand I hate periods too” and even sometimes they say “sometimes I don’t like my boobs either, they get in the way”. I never knew how to reply to these questions and comments, I understand that when people are trying to understand someone they try very hard to relate. Its a huge factor in learning, if you can make connections between something you already know and something new you are succefully learning. I just recently realized why I never knew how to respond, and while I knew people were just trying to relate and understand it always made me feel worse and frustrated, like someone saying the sky is green when you’ve told them hundreds of times that it is blue. The reason this is so frustrating is because I don’t want to not be a girl anymore, because I’ve never been a girl. I’m not going to go through this transition to become a boy, I’m going to go through the transition process because I am a boy who unfortunately grew breasts and has a vagina. And that’s why its so frustrating when people talk about my transition as if it is me changing who I am as a person, and its not like that at all. I have never been a girl, I’ve just had to be presented as one because of my body. I don’t want to be a boy, I am a boy and I want everyone, including myself, to see me that way. I don’t have the answers to why my mind, energy, and soul don’t match my body, it probably has something to do with genetics, all I know is I’m not simply inconvenienced by periods, boobs, and estrogen I am psychologically damaged by them. And if any cis gendered male randomly started having periods everyone would tell him to immediately seek medical attention. I understand that this this is a confusing topic for cis people because they simply cannot relate, there is nothing in them that is similar to my situation, this isn’t something you can learn, it’s just something to accept. I love being a boy, but I hate the body I have to do it in, so I will do whatever I need to do to be able to love myself in all aspects including physically. I am and have always been a boy.