it's seriously a very funny show

I looove Valentina, don’t get me wrong, and if this episode had gone any other way (i.e. Valentina knew the words but got eliminated, she had not tried to lip sync with a MASK literally COVERING her mouth, etc.) then I would understand people being overly upset. However, she did poorly in the challenge and didn’t know the words to the lip sync song, which is truly a make or break on this show. Someone can do bad in the challenge but stay because they lip sync well. She was rightfully eliminated by Ru and “fans” of the show who say they aren’t going to watch after this episode make me wonder if they truly are fans of the show. There are still AMAZING queens in the competition with extreme talent. Shea and Sasha and Trinity are doing SO well and are very well rounded being funny, doing well in challenges, and turning out LOOKS on the main stage. Valentina was my personal fave on the show, but just bc she has been eliminated, that’s no reason to cancel drag race as a whole OR send hate to other queens. That’s a whole other topic on its own but seriously don’t send hate to queens bc your fave went home it’s not their fault.

anonymous asked:

i kinda think mondos execution was brutal. the dude had enough electricity poured through him to melt all the flesh off his body and liquify it into bro butter. its just that it wasnt shown in that graphic sense in favor of the goofiest most 'wtf' execution in the whole series

its weird on a bunch of levels that kinda ruin it before it begins.
for one, its based on a cautionary tale about vanity, and while i think we can all agree he’s concerned about his image i dont think the right word is vain.
its the beginning of the tiger association, bc it came out before u could obtain his underpants, but its a bit out of nowhere, esp. bc tigers and dragons are supposed to be opposites and his coat is decorated with dragons
i get that he got motorbikes, but he wasnt a stunt rider or a circus act. the Death Cage works great to bring the story it was based on into motorbikes but why does it have to be the story in the first place.

you know what they shouldve done? handcuffed his hands behind the seat, park it in the middle of a mock up street, and hit him with a fucking truck. no getting out of it this time. That would fuck him up so bad and it’s got more to do with the kind of biking he actually did, and his personal backstory

but like yeah his actual death would’ve been nightmarish. It’d be loud as fuck, probably blow out his ear drums, he’s going fast enough to force the contents of his stomach out his mouth and nose, so it’d be harder to breathe if he could at all, considering the centrifugal force he’d be under. his chest cavity wouldve caved in and broke his ribs so like he’s have punctured and collapsed lungs
 His shoulders would be dislocated if not broken into dust, bc remember his hands are tied behind the seat and have nothing to rest on, so they’d just be dragged back. his wrists would be fucked too. all his guts would be liquified and running out all every orifice in his body, plus like, the blood would be running out of his head, there’d be so much pressure and shit he’d lose his eyesight and probably pass out, and thats just the from the speed.
and like u can see at the start he’s trying not to cry or scream or anything, he’s got his face all crumpled up like he’s trying to think of a happy place bc he thinks he deserves it and he knows its hard to watch (bc leon) so him screaming will only make it harder on everyone else
But then once it really really speeds up and starts getting electrified, you can see him with his eyes open and screaming, so he’s awake and conscious and it must kill. at the end the rubber’s burnt off the tires, so he probably wasn’t electrocuted until they wore off but it wouldn’t take long. Plus his feet are really really close to the metal. he’d have his shoes melted into his feet and his pants and coattails catching fire from the sparks while he’s essentially in a very fast moving electric chair
he would certainly be dead at that point but realistically his body might still be vaguely in the shape of a person. the machinery that leads to the part that packages the butter probably has like a big ol’ woodchipper/blender in there. I’m sure if you opened it there’d be gore and blood and chunks and like, teeth and hair lining the walls

but they don’t show it to you like that, they show it to you goofy as hell, and brightly coloured and funny, and he’s got little cartoon swirlies in his eyes bc he’s dizzy, and monobear’s playing hulahoop in the foreground.
plus like he’s goddamn fucking butter
there’s a distinct lack of emotional impact, especially bc it comes right after a very emotional and serious trial, and its the first execution u see after perfect, perfect Leon’s

also like, leon’s, again, being perfect as it is, its presented seriously and u take it seriously bc there’s no big gag bit. Monobear in the execution is malicious, and at the end, after showing everyone’s reactions is mimicking them in a goofy way, but thats like 1 second at the end and still pretty mean natured
then the next one u get “anD nOW hE’S BUTTER!! HAHAHA!” and “AND THEN WE DROPPED A FIRETRUCK ON HER!!!! LOL!!!” like
why is the main part of the execution a gag. why is it based around a joke. how do you expect anyone to take it seriously and be shocked or find it intense if u make a big joke of it.
i’ll accept yamada’s proposed execution for being goofy bc it suits him really well, but like ishimaru’s proposed one, there’s no gag at the end. it’s cruel. it would’ve worked great. and sayakas too. there’s no joke and its purely malicious in trying to get her hopes up that she can still leave.

mondo’s, if u had’ve been there, im sure would be just the worst if you were there, but as it’s presented to the audience its goofy as fuck and not intense at all. its just weird.

I feel like the the whole “whispering destruction” thing would have actually been a much more powerful scene if the series even bothered to hint at the existence of such spell during the course of Season 1 or at least show it in the very first episode. That would have been some clever foreshadowing. Instead, since we’ve never seen Queen Butterfly teaching Star something wand-related, Storm The Castle’s climatic moment kinda came out of nowhere for me.

Love the show, but it seriously needs to improve its writing.
The fact that it tries to be “funny at all costs” (with very mixed results) sometimes kills the show’s actual great / deep moments.
The final cliffhanger of the episode was also a bit ruined and rushed by the writers desperately trying to make Glossaryck funny.

Let the Cards Guide You

October 25th

Day 7 out of 13 Days of Halloween. Pairing: slight Nurseydex. Featuring: Actual Witch!Bitty. So I’ve been planning on doing a fanfic based on this for a while, but I haven’t had time to do the research necessary for what I want to do. Instead I’m just going to give you a little snippet of what I have planned.

Nursey has no idea what he’s doing with his life. More specifically, his relationship with a certain red-headed D-man. He and Dex have been getting along better, and Nursey is actually enjoying the times they spend together. But lately, he came to the realization that he just really likes Dex. Maybe in a dating in way. And he doesn’t know what to do with this new information.

Nursey walks into the Haus kitchen and collapses on a chair with a loud sigh.

“Nursey, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” Bitty said as he rubbed his shoulder.

“You gave some jasmine tea to Ransom for his anxiety, right? Do you have anything to clear your mind?” Nursey mumbles.

Bitty looks at him carefully, “Well, sure, but what is the actual problem? You can’t solve the symptoms and not the problem.”

Nursey sighs again. “It’s Dex.”

“Oh, no. You’ve been getting along so well lately.”

“That’s the problem!” Nursey throws his hands in the air. “I don’t know how to feel anymore! It was easy just to dislike him, but now… Now I don’t want that anymore. I don’t know what I’m thinking. I just need to stop.”

“Oh honey, no. Let me make you some tea.” As Bitty starts moving around the kitchen, he continues talking, “You know, I could just stand here all day and go off half-cooked with advice, but would you rather I do a reading for you?”

Nursey looks up at him, “You mean with tarot cards?”

Bitty nods and sets a mug in front of him. Bitty always reassures the team that being Wiccan doesn’t mean that he has fantastical power, but honestly the amount of time it takes him to bake a pie, or make tea, is defiantly magical in Nursey’s opinion.

“That would be really cool, thanks man.” Nursey starts sipping on his tea, burning his tongue in the process.

“I’m going to go up and get my deck, I’ll be right back.”

When Bitty got back he sat down across from Nursey with the deck box in hand. “Have you ever had a reading down before?” Nursey shook his head. “Well, it’s pretty open ended. The thing about tarot readings is that the real meaning stems from how the card relates to the situation. It’s all up for interpretation. I’ll throw out ideas and themes that I think portray to the topic, but it’s up to you to know its meaning. Also, disclaimer, nothing is ever set in stone. Fate is fluid. The cards can tell you what probably will happen if you continue down the path you’re going, or what path you should aim to go down, or something of the sort. Also, the cards aren’t going to tell you that you’re going to die tomorrow morning or anything like that. I can’t tell you how many times people ask me that.” Nursey love the way Bits can casually drawl about the tarot reading, using his hands to lazily gesture as he talks. “I’m using my Tarot Mucha deck because, honesty, this deck achieves the chillness that you aspire to be. I’m also going to use the Seasons spread that specifically is for this deck. Are you ready?”

Nursey nods.

Bitty closes his eyes and starts shuffling the deck. Then he passes it off to Nursey. “Think about what you want the reading to be about and shuffle the deck a little.”

Despite himself, Nursey thinks about how cute Dex’s ears are and the way he laughs whenever Nursey knocks anything over. He thinks about how he wants to hold his hand, and actually sit down when they get coffee.

“Okay, that should be good.” Nursey hand the deck back to Bitty. He sets four cards in a line in front of Nursey and set the deck off to the side. “Spring shows us what needs creative expression.” Bitty flips over the first card. The artwork on it shows a blindfolded lady crossing her arms with two swords in her hands. The moon glows in the background and Nursey is struck by how beautiful the card is. “This is the two of swords,” Bits continues. “She represents meditation, visualization, and detachment from daily distractions. This suggests that you should explore more ways to think about how Dex affects your thoughts and really focus on your mind. Spend some time by yourself to collect your thoughts. Do you need any further clarification?”

Nursey shook his head again. “Oh, no. That makes a lot of sense. I don’t want to rush into anything, right?”

Bitty grins, “Yeah, basically. Anyway, the next is summer, which shows us what needs to slow down.” He flips over the next card. “Oh! This is the six of cups! It’s all about happy memories, innocent delights, and the trusting heart.”

“Wait, does that mean it doesn’t want me to be happy?”

“No, not at all. How I see this is that during this point of your life, you are making a lot of happy memories and being genuine in your own feelings. What I think the cards are trying to say is that you need to stop rushing through this stage of your life and just try to enjoy yourself. Don’t worry about the future just yet.” And, wow, that kind of hit the nail on the head. Nursey has never felt more like himself than he has at Samwell. He’s also been stressing about declaring a major and figuring out which classes he needs to take. Now that he’s thinking about it, he’s been spending more and more time working and studying. Fuck, when was the last time he wrote a poem for fun? “Do you want any further clarification?”

Nursey thought about it for a second, but ultimately said, “Nah, I’m fine.”

Bitty gave him a sweet smile. “Autumn shows us what is ready for harvesting.” When he flips over the card this time, Bitty cracks up laughing.

Nursey is suddenly very concerned. “What’s wrong? What does it mean?” The artwork featured this old guy with a crown and red robes holding a scepter in one hand and an orb in the other.

Bitty fails to wipe the grin off his face. “I’ll tell you after you interpret the card. I don’t want my interpretation to effect yours. This is the Emperor. He is a major arcana card, which holds more weight than the other minor arcana cards. Anyway, the orb he holds is his domain: the world of earth. But he doesn’t take advantage of his power or shy away from responsibility. He protects his people and provides a solid foundation for the future. The scepter symbolizes his authority as the rightful leader. He deserves respect for ruling his empire with strength and determination. Once he is set on a plan of action, he will see that it is done. Like a mountain, he will not be moved.” Nursey laughs at this and Bitty pauses. “What are you thinking about? Does this hit a cord?”

Nursey smiles, “His stubbornness reminds me of Dex.”

“Does anything else remind you of Dex too?” Bitty prompts, grinning wide.

Nursey hesitates, “Well, Dex is also very protective. Like seriously, you’ve seen him on the ice. He’s always the first one to drop his gloves when someone tries beating on any of us. And the dude is really hard working and responsible. He totally acts like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders most of the time.” This card represents the attributes that Nursey appreciates the most in Dex.

“The major arcana often represent people we know.”

Nursey raises an eyebrow, skeptically at Bitty. “Are the cards trying to tell me to harvest Dex? That doesn’t sound right.”

“If it doesn’t sound right, then that interpretation is inaccurate. I’d say it probably means that Dex has something he can offer you. Like friendship, or love, or time, or something.”

“Oh.” Bitty let that sink in. That…was promising. Bitty said that nothing’s set in stone, but maybe if he takes some time by himself to go over his feelings and try to spend more good moments with Dex. Maybe this will be the path he goes down. One where if he asks Dex out he’d say yes.

“Do you want me to go on?”

“No. I want to know why you laughed when you saw this card,” Nursey challenged.

“Well, you see the Emperor represents male sexuality.” Nursey snorts out a laugh as well.

“Moving on, the last one is winter. Winter shows us what needs shelter and care.” Bits flips it over and starts laughing again.

“Seriously, Bitty. What is up with this?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, this isn’t very professional of me. Pardon me, please. This is the Fool. The soul who travels the human lifetime seeking knowledge, understanding, and beauty. She has no experiences, only the willingness to live fully in the flow of life’s experiences. Heeding her instinct’s guidance and the call of her spirit towards its purpose, she is always exactly where she is meant to be.”

Nursey frowns. “Why is that funny?”

“Because, in my opinion, the Fool is you.”

“Rude.”

Bitty giggles, “I mean it’s your identifier card. You’re a free spirit. You try to live for yourself and for the sake of living.” He’s totally right though. The Fool is exactly what Nursey aspires to be. “You try not to rely on anyone though. We understand that you want to be independent, but we always have your back, Nursey. The whole team. Anyone of us would drop whatever we’re doing to take care of you.”

Nursey smiles, feeling warm inside. “Like what you just did? You were going to start a pie when I got here, weren’t you?”

“Guilty, but that’s beside the point. The point is that you can let people take care of you more often. And yes that includes Dex. I can’t tell you if he has romantic feelings for you, but you’re one of his closest friends, Nursey. And you said it yourself, he protects his friends.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a while. Just…wow. This was not what Nursey was expecting when Bitty offered to do a reading for him, but this was exactly what he needed.

“Thank you, Bitty, I really needed that,” he said as he finished his tea and put it in the sink.

Bits watches him curiously. “I’m glad I could help, but where are you going?”

Nursey shrugs, “I think I’m going to find a tree to sit under and write some poetry.”

——-

I’m new at doing tarot readings, so if anything I said is inaccurate please contact me. The tarot deck featured is actually my personal deck, and this is an actual reading I did for Nursey. Please be gentle with criticism. If you have any questions about this fic, please contact me. I’d be happy to answer them. 

anonymous asked:

So I don't know if this is your kind of question or not (and no worries if it's not), but what Hogwarts houses would you put SHINee in?? Because ugh I really really can't decide (except for Taemin in Slytherin) and also you just come across as such a smart person, I was wondering if you could help me out with this conundrum?

I’m going to try because although I’ve seen and kinda read HP, I’m no scholar.

Gryffindor values bravery, daring, nerve, and chivalry. That’s Choi Minho. We’ve seen Minho stare down opponents, choreography, drama roles and most important of all, the daunting task of becoming a singer of equal valor as his very talented and notably (getting around legendary at this point) vocally strong band members. Minho is tenderhearted and takes care and loves his members with the utmost respect and manners and has no problem jumping to defend them. Minho is also a fierce competitor with  strong desire to WIN. He has also shown bravery as he dips and weaves into acting roles, serious and comedic. 

Ravenclaw values intelligence, knowledge, and wit. Kim Kibum is Ravenclaw’s poster boy. Kibum is known as the triple threat. But if we really think about it, he’s like penta-threat? (Singing, Dancing, Rapping, Acting, LANGUAGE). Kibum to me is like this Pandora’s Box of knowledge. Kibum’s talents are so multitudinous and complex that its hard for him to be know for JUST ONE THING. He picks up on things incredibly fast (dancing, musicals), his intelligence is fearsome (languages) and he is so very funny and witty (as we see with his Know How show). 

Hufflepuff, values hard work, patience, loyalty, and fair play. Jonghyun is notoriously known for as a hard worker, whether its his body, his singing or his understanding of social issues. Over the years we come to know that he is outrageously committed to not only SHINee as a band, but his own musical spirit as he works tirelessly to perfect his craft and his songwriting (like seriously, you can’t get him to shut up about writing songs!)  Not to mention his emerging as a socially aware idol, him speaking up for issues that concern not only Korean citizens but those around the world. 

Slytherin house values ambition, cunning and resourcefulness and really it IS Taemin. Taemin is our maknae and had an ambition that far outweighed the desire to just be a kid. He began training at a young age, debuted at a young age, and to this day he is still, really, just a kid. Although his jokes don’t go over too well, Taemin is a master at weighing his talents, quirks and characteristics and applying them at the right times. For that reason Taemin is almost a master of identities and images.He can go from super adorable to saucy vixen to heart stealing vampire. He surprised me so much with Danger! 

As I was thinking, I WANTED to put Lee Jinki into Hufflepuff, for he exemplifies hard work, patience, loyalty, and fair play, especially inside of SHINee. Those characteristics shine as we think about the group success. Minho put it best,  Minho put it on Abnormal Summit, Jinki’s leadership is one of the integral reasons that SHINee has lasted this long in this sea of idols that ebb and flow and disappear all together.

But then I was thinking about it, Ravenclaw fits too ( intelligence, knowledge, and wit) because we KNOW Lee Jinki is brilliant (Hello 2nd place in his entire school! Hello the ONLY idol EVER to win Star Golden Bell!). Remember Onew’s idioms? 

However is there a little bit of Slytherin in Jinki as (well, ambition, cunning and resourcefulness?) Abso-fucking-loutely. We’re talking about the man who was SO funny and cunning on variety shows that the host wanted to ban him because he was FUNNIER than them:

SHINee Onew’s strong performance threatens Happy Together’s MC’s?

Ultimately, however, Jinki goes to Gryffindor. Lee Jink is, by his members own words and those who have worked with him the pinnacle of chivalry, manners and honor. He is very very serious about respecting and treating those around him wonderfully and has no problem bragging on his members as well as putting them first. In a KPop world where one member could easily over shadow another member OR THE GROUP, Jinki’s bravery and chivalry is almost legendary at this point. It is so strong and so vibrant, this mode of shining knight, that his members follow his lead.  

Jinki is basically Godric Gryffindor.