it's sad when the first thing i think of is I CAN MAKE A GIF OF THAT

I Can Treat You Better | (Part 2)

Daryl Dixon x Reader | Smut Warning | 18+ Only | NSFW

Summary: Another request, hope I do it justice. :) Daryl has feelings for the reader and has had to watch the reader be treated badly by her boyfriend for months. When the reader’s boyfriend is out on a run, Daryl makes his feelings known. Pre-Negan Era. Set in Alexandria. Smut AF.

Warnings: Smutty, Smutness

Word Count: 8,963

—–

Daryl watched as you sadly waved goodbye to Luke. You guys you had been seeing each other since even before the world ended and was replaced with the dead. You had both been living in Alexandria since before the wall had went up, you saw all of it happen in the blink of an eye; the world ending, the dead walking, The Monroe’s quickly devising a plan to keep the town safe, and the arrival of Rick’s group followed by more heartache and hardship. You and Luke shared a small house in the town, sitting on the right-hand side of the development, next to the last house that was placed within the town, furthest away from the wall, which belonged to Daryl.

You and Luke moved to Alexandria, before losing your families to the dead, you were college sweethearts, and you just always assumed you would be together forever. But lately something had changed in Luke, he was more reckless, and every chance he got it seemed, he was offering to go on runs, especially with Rosita. In the pit of your stomach you knew something was wrong, very wrong. Luke waved back at you, with little to no emotion in his eyes, from the back of a truck they where using for their run. You saw him quickly turn his attention back to Rosita smiling at her the way he used to smile at you.

You sighed a little, looking down, kicking a rock with your feet. You heard the gate close and slam shut as Aaron harshly pushed the lock back in place. He walked over to you and placed his hand on your shoulder, forcing you to look up at him with sad eyes.

“They’ll be back before you know it.” He said re-assuringly. “Rick will make sure of that.” He finished seriously, rubbing his hand comfortingly across your shoulder, before breaking contact, nodding and heading off to his home down the road.

You stood there not really sure what to do with yourself, you always felt off when Luke was gone, but you had felt off for a few months now, even when he was with you, he wasn’t really with you. You stare off into space analyzing the past few months, the drop in conversation between you two, the lack of intimacy, you used to find any excuse to sneak away to be together but lately he didn’t even want to touch you. You self-consciously wrap your arms around yourself, not realizing you were being watched.

Suddenly, you hear a scoff and realize that Daryl was standing a few feet away from you, by the front of the gate. He glared at you until you made eye contact, and then his head snapped away to look at a fixed point on the wall ahead of him. He sighed, seemingly angrily, and began walking toward you. He stops when he gets within inches of you, and growls into your ear, as he faces toward the town, his back against the gate.

“Don’t worry I’m sure your boyfriend will be just fine.” He said lowly and slightly bumped your shoulder as he passed by you.

What the hell was his problem? You thought to yourself and turned around to follow the tall, muscular redneck.

You run a little to catch up to him, as he has already taken several long strides away from you and down the street. You tap him on the shoulder and continue to try and reach his speed.

“What the hell was that about, Daryl?” You ask a little angrily and follow him as he picks up his pace. He obviously had an issue with something.

He angrily huffs and grips the strap of his crossbow tighter in his hands, saying nothing and tightening his jaw, he continues to walk towards the back of the development. You followed him past yours and Luke’s house, to the last house on the right, that was Daryl’s. You stomp up the porch behind him, grabbing his shoulder forcing him to turn around. He swings around angrily and glares into your eyes.

“What do ya want Y/N?” He shouted.

You suddenly felt enraged at his random anger directed at you. Who the hell did he think he was, talking to you that way? You thought confused and a little angry. He has barely ever said more than two words to you before this.

“I want to know what the hell you meant back there?” You demanded and he staggered back pacing a little, his eyes angry.

“You know what I’m talkin about Y/N. You know he is fucking her. How can you stay with an asshole like that? The way he treats you-” He shouts in your face, fuming, and begins pacing back and forth on the wooden floor again.

Your eyes grow wide, and you feel your heart stop in its tracks, as it sinks into the pit of your stomach.

“What?” You ask softly. Daryl continues to pace around his porch, gripping his weapon tighter in his hands, gesturing to your house on the left-hand side of his.

“I’ve fucking seen them together, Y/N! I know you aren’t that stupid! You fucking know too. Don’t tell me you don’t.” He shouts out again.

You feel your face get hot as your eyes begin to well up with tears.

“I gotta- I gotta go.” You say softly and turn to run down his stairs, you hear Daryl call your name, but you don’t want him to see you cry, you didn’t want such a strong man to see you break. You run across the lawn and up the stairs to your house, slamming, and locking the door.

You drudge your feet up the stairs, through blurry and wet eyes, emerging at your bedroom. You look at the bed and memories of you and Luke wash over you, followed by an image of him with Rosita in your bed. You wondered if they had ever screwed in your bed and suddenly you felt nauseated. You turn back from your bedroom and head down stairs to the living room, you plop yourself down on the couch head in your hands and let yourself feel all the pain you were feeling, letting all the tears come pouring out of you. You hear yourself sobbing from a distance, feeling like it wasn’t real.

You sob for nearly a half hour straight, until you feel like you are completely drained of everything inside of you. You peer over to the table on the side of the couch where you sit and see a picture of you and Luke sitting in a frame, a picture taken back before the world had ended, back before he was a cheater. Your eyes narrowed in anger as you stared at the man you thought would never hurt you. You pick up the frame angrily and throw it at the wall, making the glass shatter and the picture fall to the floor. Broken. Just like us. You thought to yourself with a scoff.

Anger takes over your body, washing over you and replacing the sadness. You dry your eyes, that have now started seething, and begin to rip down every picture frame and throw anything that reminded you of the two of you. That painting on the wall he had bought you for your 1-year anniversary – the year before the world went to shit, the necklace on the table he had found for you after you lost your parents, the promise ring on your finger that he had given you when you had first started dating. You throw it all to the ground, hearing wood and metal clashing and clanging against the hard wood floor of your living room.

You ran back up the stairs to your bedroom and pulled the blankets and sheets off the bed, throwing another picture of you and him on the nightstand down to the ground, as your boots walked over the glass, chomping on it without care. You pulled out a small duffle bag from your closet and began throwing your clothes into it, you didn’t care if you had to sleep on someone’s floor, you would not be here when Luke returned home. You grab as many clothes as would fit, and went to the bathroom to grab your toothbrush and a couple of bars of soap you had managed to find.

You grab the overly full duffle bag and sling it over your shoulder, heaving a little at how heavy it was, and walked determinedly down the stairs and out the door slamming it shut. You walk onto the porch and angrily begin toward the stairs. You hear Daryl again, to your right, calling your name from his porch.

“Y/N! Please, hold up for a minute!” Daryl’s voice had softened and showed signs of worry.

Daryl had not moved from this spot since he had blurted out Luke’s secret. He was sure you knew, but your reaction proved to him otherwise. He paced back and forth, angry at himself and his big mouth, that had caused you so much pain. He listened to you cry and throw things, watching you intently through your living room window, that just happened to face his own. So many nights he had watched you, not intending to get drawn in, but not being able to help himself. The way you would set up dinner night after night for you and Luke, and seeing that most nights he didn’t even bother to show up home until after you had given up and fallen asleep.

He watched as you paced your house lonely as can be whenever he was gone and lately you did the same even when he was there, both of you sitting in silence and not saying a word. He watched as you tried to kiss on Luke and make him feel your skin, but he would always pull away. Daryl guessed saying he was not in the mood. Bullshit. Daryl would think to himself, he knew the truth. Besides who would not be in the mood for Y/N, she was amazingly gorgeous and just as sweet as could be, Daryl would think to himself.

One night he watched as Y/N walked up the stairs and disappeared into her bedroom, after another failed attempt to get Luke to want her. Daryl saw how sad and tired her eyes were, tired of this same routine and tired of not being loved like she should be. Daryl saw Y/N’s bedroom light go out and watched Luke as his fingers began to twitch and he nervously looked up the stairs. Daryl watched from the dark of his living room in curiosity, watching as the man got more nervous by the minute. About 20 minutes went by and the man suddenly stood up, walking to the stairs and looking up at the bedroom door, which was shut. He listened for a moment and smiled to himself. He walked across the living room floor, down the hallway, and out the door.

Daryl put out his cigarette in the dark and stared curiously for a moment before getting up and walking out to his porch quietly closing his door behind him. He watched as Luke walked speedily down the road, looking like he had to be somewhere in a hurry. Daryl frowned and decided to follow him. He took long, quite strides down the side of the road, staying on the grass and in the shadows as much as he could. He followed the man to a house he knew well, Rosita and Abraham’s. He watched as Luke darted quickly to the side of the house, Daryl ducked behind the trees that separated Rosita and Abe’s house from Carol’s place. The town was dark, but the moon was full and brightened up the sky and the ground around it that night.

Daryl peered through the bushes to see Luke running to someone, the other person ran to him and wrapped their arms around him. Luke pulled this person into his arms, twirling them around, the moonlight illuminated their face, it was Rosita was a huge smile on her face. Daryl stood there shocked, feeling the seething anger build up inside of him. He watched as Luke pressed her up against the side of the wall and began to kiss her passionately. Daryl felt sick, watching as they became closer and closer to fucking right then and there. He hears them both begin to moan and tug at each other’s pants. Daryl turned away and made his way back down the street, stopping to stare up at Y/N’s dark bedroom window for a moment in silent sadness. What an asshole. Who could do that to her? He thought and again the anger returned to his being.

It had been two months since Daryl saw them together that first time and every time he saw Luke touch Rosita on the arm or whisper into her ear suggestively, when Y/N wasn’t looking, every single time it took all Daryl had not to walk right over and kick his ass. But, Y/N was always there, looking at Luke, still in love with him, still wanting him. Daryl thought eventually she would figure it out on her own, but here they were two months later and somehow he was still the asshole who had to break the news to her. And he didn’t do it well at all, talking wasn’t one of his strong points and he kicked himself for hurting her, just like that asshole she called hers.

“Y/N! Please, stop!” Daryl pleaded as he watched Y/N continue to storm down the pavement with a duffle bag in her hands.

You stopped but do not turn around, hearing Daryl’s footsteps come running up behind you. You feel nothing but rage and adrenaline coursing through your body. Suddenly, you feel Daryl’s big hand on your shoulder, nudging you around to face him. You turn toward him and see that he is breathing heavy from running to catch up to you. You look into his eyes and see regret in them, you scoff.

“What?!” You cry out angrily and glare at him.

Daryl takes his hand off your shoulder and steps back with his hands in the arm, realizing that your anger is directed toward him.

“I just, I just… I wanted to say sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” He said lowly and looks at the ground ashamed of himself.

You smirk a little in your rage, feeling heated tears again come to the surface.

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry?!” You scream a little and drop your duffle bag on the ground, charging your small frame into him and start hitting his chest with your fists as hard as you can, crying and punching.

“You are an asshole, you know that?!” You continue to cry and punch at him. And Daryl lets you do so, without wincing, he takes in all your pain.

You punch and punch until you your hands are sore and you are exhausted, you begin to sob into his chest, dropping your fists as they did no good against Daryl’s muscular physique. You sob tiredly into him and you suddenly feel his big arms wrap around your body, pulling you tightly into him, as you cry.

“Shhh… Shhh…” Daryl comforts you, rocking you back and forth in his arms.

You hear the sound of footsteps tapping down the concrete behind you, in between your sobbing tears, and hear Aaron’s voice.

“Is everything okay?!?” Aaron asked Daryl, breathless. He had heard Y/N screaming, as he was walking to the gate for guard duty, and turned around to see her hitting Daryl. He ran as fast as he could down the long pavement, watching as Daryl wrapped her in his arms.

Aaron tried to catch his breath, while looking concernedly into Daryl’s eyes, and down to your sobbing face that was hidden from him.

You buried your face deeper into Daryl’s chest, trying to escape the embarrassment of facing Aaron this way. You feel Daryl nod his head, as his chin moves up and down above your head.

“Ya. She’s okay. I’ll take care of her.” Daryl said in a soft, low tone.

Aaron stands there for a moment, looking at Daryl, and back down at you, remaining hidden. He nods sadly at Daryl and then gently puts his hand on your back, massaging it a little.

“You know where to find me, if you need anything Y/N.” He says to you and you nod into Daryl’s chest, to answer him, still not wanting him to see you hurting. Daryl’s arms wrap tighter around you, as your tears begin to subside.

Aaron looks at Daryl, “Take care of her,” he says and Daryl again nods, onto the top of your head.

You hear Aaron walk away in the other direction. Daryl holds you for another moment in the street. You turn your head to the side, never breaking contact with his body, your tears had retreated once again, and you took a few deep breaths into him.

Daryl notices your body’s ceasefire, and slowly loosens his arms, keeping them on your shoulders, but breaking your head’s contact with his chest, to force you to look up at him. He sees your eyes are red and your face is drenched, he looks down at you in agony. I would give anything to take this pain away from her. He thought sadly. He looks at you and lowly speaks, “Come on,” is all he says before pulling his arms away from you to lift the duffle bag, with one hand, over his shoulder.

You stay there, too tired to fight it and watch as he lugs your heavy bag over his shoulder effortlessly and comes back up to pull you to his other shoulder, wrapping his free arm around your neck. You lean your head onto his shoulder as you both slowly make your way back down the street.

You pass the place you used to call home and Daryl leads you up the stairs, back onto his porch, where the whole thing had begun, at least for you. He slowly opens the door to his house and walks you both into his living room, where he throws your bag onto the floor, and leads you to the couch. You plop down and begin to dry your eyes, a little embarrassed now at the scene you had just caused.

Daryl walks over to the living room window, that faced the place you used to call home, and quickly drew the long, dark red curtains. You sigh a little relieved you didn’t have to look into the house you used to call home. The room darkens and Daryl uses his lighter to light small and big candles alike, that were scattered around the living room. Suddenly, the glow of the candlelight illuminated the space, making it feel more homey than you were used to. You lay back into the couch and continue to steady your breathing, looking at Daryl as he sits on the couch beside you, looking straight ahead, trying not to be intrusive. He sits with his hands nervously wrapping around each other and his one leg twitching. You also see him nervously biting his lip as he stared straight ahead.

“I’m sorry I hit you.” You say quietly, looking at your own hands.

“That’s alright. I deserved it.” He said, still twitching.

“No, you didn’t. That anger wasn’t meant for you.” You say to him.

He turns to look at you, as he nervously bites his lip, “I’m sorry too. I should have never told ya. At least not like that.” He said sincerely apologetic for his slip up.

“I knew. I knew something was… off.” You admit, again playing absentmindedly with your fingers as you spoke. “I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t want to lose him too.” You quietly say.

Daryl nods a little in understanding and looks down at his hands again. A few minutes pass and neither of you speak, just sitting in each other’s company.

“You’re welcome to stay here.” Daryl says quietly, not looking at you.

You smile your first small smile since this afternoon, you reach over and touch his arm lightly.

“Thanks.” You say, he tenses a little at your touch. You notice, but shrug it off as Daryl being Daryl. You drop your hand back into your lap.

“Ugh. I can’t believe this.” You lean forward, running your hands through your hair, stressed. You two are now shoulder to should on the couch. You let your hands run up and down your face, rubbing your skin.

“I probably look like shit.” You say to yourself, trying to rub the feeling of betrayal off you.

Daryl scoffs a little, “I don’t think that’s possible.” He says quietly, rubbing his knuckles harder.

“Yeah, right.” You say self-deprecatingly, letting your hands rest over your mouth as today’s memories run through your brain, over and over again.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N.” He says, still not looking at you.

Your head snaps over to look at him, in response.

“What?” You ask, taken aback.

He nervously bites his lip some more before slowly turning his head to meet your eyes, his eyes softly looking into yours, the candlelight flickering in them.

“You’re beautiful.” He says again, softly, and matter-of-factly.

“You could have anyone you wanted. I just never knew why you wanted him.” He says dropping his head sadly.

“When I found out, I wanted to tell you. But I didn’t know how to, I didn’t want you to hurt… I shoulda told you…” He trailed off looking at the closed curtains ahead of you two.

“I shoulda told you that I couldn’t stand you being with him… and that I wanted to be with you…” He trails of nervously.

You watch the man in awe, his strong, muscular arms flexed onto his knees, taking in his large, beautiful frame. You look at his sideways face, taking in his nervous lips and worried eyes, as if he had said something extremely dangerous. His leg twitched and he waited for a response. Daryl expected anger or laughter, he had never been a hit with women, didn’t know how to talk to them. What he got surprised him as you gently put your hand on his twitching leg next to you. The leg froze in place and he again forced himself to look into your eyes, confused this time.

You sat there looking at him, in shock. “I had no idea, Daryl….” You trail off, not sure what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything, it’s okay…” He says dropping his head, to look at the couch space in-between you two awkwardly.

“I know I’m not much… I just… thought you should know.” He forced the words out of his mouth, immediately wishing he had stayed quiet.

You remain silent for a moment, before moving your other hand up to his downward facing chin, before gently lifting it so that you can peer into his eyes.

You look at him softly, “I just didn’t know… You are amazing Daryl, you are one of the best men here, hell you may even be the best man here. I just had no idea.” You say, to reassure him.

He nods, looking down as he takes in your words, before looking back into your eyes.

“I’m not good with the words.” He says sheepishly.

You smirk a little, “Really? I couldn’t tell.” You laugh a little, making him smirk just a little.

“How long… How long have you felt this way?” You ask, still in shock that this beautiful man would ever look at you that way.

“Awhile. Since before I found out… Maybe since the first time I saw you.” He admitted, avoiding your gaze again.

Your face went flush, feeling embarrassed and excited all at once.

“Wow.” You say simply and remove your hands from him, to rub them on your face again, concentrating on everything he had just revealed.

He clears his throat nervously a few minutes later and you realize you still haven’t said anything.

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He says, suddenly trying to get up from the couch. You instinctually grab his knee before he has a chance to get up and push down on it, hard. He looks at you and sits back down.

You slowly look back over at his terrified face, you take your other hand and gently place it on the side of his right cheek, stroking it gently a few times, and looking at him softly.

“No. I’m glad you did. I’m just… I’m just trying to wrap my head around this all… that’s all. I never would have guessed that you would think of me that way, of all the people you could have…” You trail off, looking down and biting your lip.

“I’m glad you told me, Daryl. I think it is really sweet.” You say and lean in to place an innocent kiss on his cheek, rubbing your thumb on his cheek as you do. You slowly retract your lips and he stares at you with something that looked a whole lot like love and admiration.

“I only want you. I can treat you better than he ever did…” Daryl stares at you, feeling more brave after feeling your lips on his face.

You smile and pull his face back toward you, this time aiming for his lips. You slowly pressed your lips on top of his, gently sucking his top lip into yours, before sliding your tongue along his bottom lip. You feel him moan a little and his lips part slightly. You look at him and he has his eyes closed, in pure bliss.

You press your lips into his again, this time sliding your tongue into his mouth slightly licking his tongue, you feel his tongue dart out at yours in response, you go in again, swirling around his tongue as he does the same to yours. He is a great kisser for someone so shy. You thought to yourself and you swirled your tongues around each other, more passionately with every pass. You suddenly felt electricity run through your body, as your kisses deepened, something you had not felt for a long time. You moan a little into him as you harshly suck on his tongue before beginning to swirl around it again. He growls a little, causing vibration to run through your mouth and all through your body. You felt yourself getting hot and bothered, in the best way.

Daryl begins to take charge and puts both hands onto the sides of your face as you continue to kiss each other passionately. His body begins to lean into yours and your body slowly lies back on the couch in response. He adjusts with you and suddenly you are lying on your back with your head on the arm rest of the couch, you slowly try and begin to stretch your legs out to lay them flush with the couch. He notices and stands up a little, never breaking his lips away from yours. Once you have your legs in place, he positions on of his knees on the inside of the couch, against the back of it and the other on the other side of your legs, he is straddling you, but not touching, except for your mouths as they devour each other.

He moans into you again as you swirl your tongues around each other, sucking and licking faster and faster. He breaks his lips away from you and uses one hand to slightly turn your head to the side, exposing your neck. You bury your face into the side of the couch, with your eyes closed in ecstasy. Daryl’s lips land softly on the side of your neck, slowly beginning to suck and swirl his tongue up and down your skin.

“Mmmm.” You moan softly to yourself, loving the feeling of his tongue on your body. He licks his way up to the spot behind your ear and sucking on it lightly, before beginning to swirl his tongue faster and harder into your skin. He takes your earlobe into his mouth, grazing his tongue across it, flicking it from side to side.

“Oh God, Daryl!” You cry out and he smirks a little into your ear. He breathes heavily into your ear and moves back down your neck, to your collarbone, he harshly takes it in as the begin to writhe under him in response.

You grab his sides and tug on his vest a little, before moving your hands underneath the open fabric and resting your hands on either side of him, loving the feel of his bare skin on your fingertips. You begin to rub him up and down, feverishly, as he sucks on your neck, moving from one side to the other. You move your head in compliance, to allow his tongue to travel wherever it wanted. It felt so damn good on your skin.

Your hands grow more anxious and you move them from his sides, up his bare, muscular chest, and up to his shoulders, where they are forced to stop because of the shoulders of his vest. You open your eyes and look up with a whimper. You use your hands, under the shoulders of his vest and gently begin to push it upward, pushing it over his shoulders and down his huge arms. He slowly lifts one arm off the couch to allow you to pull the vest out of it, followed by the other, never removing his lips for your body. You sigh in relief as you throw the vest to the ground, caressing his bare, broad shoulders and up and down his back.

He groans at your touch and breaks contact with you, raising his head back up to look you in the eyes, he smiles and crashes his lips back onto yours, you moan in pleasure at how hard he kissed you now. You passionately respond, grabbing his face harshly, trying to pull him into your mouth even harder.

You feel his body lower and press against yours, feeling how hard he was as his cock rubbed slightly into the bottom of your stomach. You felt yourself get wet the moment you felt his cock press against you. Your hand reaches down, on its own accord, and slightly begins rubbing his dick, from outside his jeans.

“Fuck!” He breaks contact with your lips and cries out as your hand rubs his cock, with just enough pressure to make him almost come undone right there. You try to open your legs to him, which was futile as he had you pinned on the small couch.

He noticed you trying to lift your legs to him and stares down at you with low, lustful eyes.

He stands up, shirtless, his bare chest glowing in the candlelight. You look up at him with a whimper of sadness, making him smirk and his eyes dance with excitement.

“Come on.” He says, holding his hand out to you. You take it breathlessly as he pulls you up off of the couch. He walks around the living room, with your hand in his, blowing out candles as he does. He takes one of the bigger candles that is still lit and hands it to you, he takes another that is still lit, glancing around the room making sure he had blown out all of the others. He holds the candle in one hand and your hand in the other. He strides out of the living room, pulling you behind him. You hold onto his hand and smile as he pulls you down the hallway and up the stairs to his bedroom, the candlelight illuminating your path.

Once in his room, he shuts and locks the door, dropping your hand for a moment and taking the candle that you held from you. He walks over to the right side of his room where his bed is, along with a night side table on both sides. He walks to one side of the bed and places one candle in the middle, walks over to the other side and places the other candle on the opposite stand. He walks over to the window facing the bed and draws the dark curtains into place, completely covering the window.

He strides back over to you, who stands with your back against the door, watching his gorgeous figure in the flickering light. You bite your lip a little in anticipation, you had no idea how this happened, but you couldn’t deny that you were so ready for him to be all over you again. Luke had never made you feel half this good.

He wraps his arms around you, crashing his lips back into yours, and slamming you into the door behind you. You moan out in pleasure. You feel his arms move down your back, to your ass, as he grabs both cheeks with this big, rough hands, and pulls you into him. His lips move back down to your neck as he pulls your ass into him, suddenly he lifts you up and pulls you away from the door. You wrap your legs around his waist in response. He moves his lips back onto yours and you rest your hands on the sides of his hair, massaging his hair as you shove your tongue around his over and over.

He keeps his hands on your ass, firmly massaging it, as he twirls you both around and starts to walk you over to the bed. You feel yourself fall over into the soft mattress, as his body pushes you both down. He presses his body into you harder now, with his lips on yours. His hands begin to move from your ass, to up your back, dipping his rough hands under the fabric of your shirt, you lift your body into his in response. His hands roughly massage your lower back before making their way up to your bra clasp, he opens his eyes while still devouring your mouth, seeing you smile in reaction. You feel his thumbs play with the tiny pieces of metal, as he finally unclips them and your bra springs apart under your shirt. He gently massages your back where the clasp used to be, and slowly begins to trace on of his hands from your back, to your side, before venturing to the front of your stomach, slowly making their way up and underneath your loosened bra. His finger traces the bottom of your left breast ever so slightly a few times, causing goosebumps and your nipples to hard.

You break contact with his mouth, shooting your head back, ”Touch me!” You cry out and he obliges, roughly taking the breast into his big hand, cupping and massaging it in a deep circular motion. You continue to cry out to him, your body writhing up into his hand. You feel his hand begin to flick your nipple in between his fingers and you cry out again, “Oh God, Yes!” Causing him to growl like an animal into your mouth, looking at you with pure desire.

You feel his other hand come around your other side and dip under your other bra cup and begin to massage your right breasts, flipping your nipples around, and roughly massaging them over and over as you cried out for more.

He slowly moved both hands down your stomach, removing his hands from you and breaking his kiss. You snap your head up to him, looking at him with questioning eyes.

His eyes peered down at you, still lustfully, but you now see a hint of concern in them. You stare at him awaiting whatever was next. He breathes heavily over you and looks into your eyes, softly.

“I really want you, YN.” He says and you nod, trying to pull him back into your lips, he uses his hand to push you back down again, softly. You look into his eyes again, your whole body aching for every part of him.

“But, I don’t want you to do this just because you are upset. So if that is all this is, then-“ Before he can finish his thought, you reach your hand up and push the wild hair away from his eyes, looking into them seriously.

“That is not what this is, Daryl. I want you. I’ve never felt this good, ever! Please don’t stop.” You say, lovingly looking into his eyes. He stares down at you, still a little unsure. You arch up into him involuntarily, all the while staring at him with pleading eyes. He nods and smiles down at you, you smile in response. He dips down toward you again, crashing his lips onto yours again.

You smile into his lips and pull his shoulders toward you with all your might, pulling him so close your teeth clink together with the sudden motion. You moan and he chuckles at the sensation. You harshly swirl your tongue around him over and over again, and his hands return to the bottom of your shirt. His fingers trace your bare stomach underneath it a few times, and you feel his hands begin to pull the fabric up, over your stomach, he breaks away from your lips, sitting up, straddling you, and gently pulls up the fabric, all the while his fingers tracing up your body. You lean up and help him by raising your arms over your head, he slowly pulls the shirt off of you and throws it to the ground. You pull your arms out of your bra straps and throw it to the floor, mimicking his actions. You stare at him as he takes your naked breasts in, he licks his lips and moans lowly as he slides his hips down a little and slowly moves his chest up your core, to your stomach, where he lays on you, putting pressure on all the right places, his stomach breathes into your pussy, which you were pretty sure was soaked through and through already.

He breathes heavily into you as he slowly descends his mouth onto your right breast, licking and swirling around it, using his other hand to massage your left breast, flicking and twirling your nipple with his tongue on one side and with his fingers on the other. Your legs open wider as your head shoots back in pleasure.

“Yes! Oh God, Yes!” You cried out massaging his hair pushing his head into your skin deeper, he slowly bites down on it and your cry out again, arching your hips into him. He kisses his way across your sternum and reaches the other breasts and begins to suck and swirl on that one, massaging your other one with his other hand.

“Oh my god, Daryl, I am so wet. I need you!” You cry out, massaging his hair and pulling it a little, from above.

He breaks his kiss from your skin and props up on both of his elbows, his lips still inches from your skin. You look down at him pleading with your eyes and he smirks a little, licking his lips. He turns his attention back to your skin, kissing your breast a few more times roughly, before licking and sucking his way down your stomach, across your belly button, until he is sucking on the soft skin that is touching the waistline of your pants. He looks up and sees your shaking your head back and forth in pleasure, eyes closed and biting your lip. He smiles to himself, he loved the way he made you lose control. He took his tongue, moving it over to the side of your hip, and slid it down slightly underneath your pants, dragging it slowly from your hip, across your stomach, to your other hip. He kissed and sucked the side of your hip when he was done with the trek.

“Oh Fuck!” You moan in pleasure and the sensation of his tongue so close to your core

He moves his fingers over to the middle of your waistline, and plays with the button as you writhe underneath him in anticipation.

“Hold still.” He says in a low chuckle, kissing you under your belly button again.

He breaks the button loose and slowly undoes your zipper. He sits back up and scoots off the bed and pulls your legs down and closed. He pulls your boots off, along with your socks, and then begins to tug at your pant legs, ripping them off of you and throwing them behind him. He pushes both legs back up, using your feet and pushes them apart again. He stares down in disbelief at your white panties that are completely soaked and dripping wet.

“Fuck.” He says to himself and licks his lips. He kneels back onto the bed, positioning himself between your inviting legs, and puts on leg on his shoulder, he kisses and sucks his way down your leg, to your thigh, and over to your pussy, he lightly sucks just above your clit, making you moan out in failed anticipation. He crosses your core and begins to kiss and suck up your other thigh, and down your other leg. He grabs both your legs by your ankles, putting them both in this left hand and raising them straight into the air. His right hands grazes down your right leg, softly, landing on your right ass cheek. He grabs your ass a little over your panties and then roughly begins to tug at the fabric. He pulls it free from your right ass cheek. You lift yourself up with your hands, pushing your ass of the bed as he slides over and pulls the fabric roughly off the other cheek, sliding them up and over both your legs and ankles, throwing them behind him. He looks again at your ass and grabs it, hard.

“Fuck, Yes!” You cry out at the sensation. He grabs it harshly again, smacking it a little. You cry out again in response.

He smiles to himself before pulling your leg apart again, pulling one back over his hand to rest on his shoulder again. You lower your ass back to the bed, allowing him to part your legs.

He looks down at your wet pussy and growls like an animal, liking his lips.

“I’m going to make you cum so hard, baby.” He says, not able to break his eyes away from your pussy. He crashes his lips down onto your core, this time aiming directly onto your clit, swirling and sucking gently at first, before picking up his pace.

“Fuck. Daryl! Yes!” You cry out, reaching down to push his head harder into you as he sucks on your clit feverishly. He moans at your reaction, “Mmmm…” causing vibration through your pussy making your almost cum right there. His lips escape your clit and begin to rapidly move up and down your folds, at first teasingly, and then plunging into you wildly. His tongue swirled and darted in and out of you, while you push his head into you, forcing his tongue to fuck you as hard as it could. He moved back up to your clit and began swirling around it again. You feel his hand graze down the backside of your thigh, squeeze your ass again, before making its way to the inside of your leg and to your pussy.

He shoves two fingers into you, hard. You arch up, pressing his head to your clit harder. “Yes!” You cry out again to him, as he hits your clit just right. He pumps into you over and over with his fingers as your hips arch up to match his rhythm, only to be met with even more intense pressure from his mouth on your clit, as you continue to push down on him. You arch up and down as he pumps into you, he pushes three fingers inside of you and continues to thrust them into your pussy.

“Oh my God, Yes! Right there! Just like that!” You cry out, pushing his head so hard into you, you thought you may be hurting him, but it felt so good. He pumps harder and harder, as you push his swirling tongue into you, he flicks your clit and pumps his fingers in and out rougher and shorter. You feel him flick your clit over and over, again and again and can’t take it anymore. You press him into you a few more times, as he pumps his fingers into you, and cum all over his fingers.

“Fuuuucckk…. Yessss!” You cry out as you climax, long and hard, still pressing him into you as you hit your high.

You drop your hand, once your senses return. He removes his fingers and lowers his tongue, sticking it inside your pussy, taking long deep strides up it several times, lapping your cum into his mouth. You groan I pleasure, as your legs playfully move from side to side, around his head. You bring your hands up to your breasts and massage them a little, feeling the last bit of your orgasm prolonged.

“Oh God, Daryl! That felt so damn good!” You cry out in happiness as he laps the last of your cum up.

His lips retreat your pussy and he looks up at you playing with your breasts, eyes closed.

“Mm!” He says aroused, placing a long hard kiss under your navel again, smacking the side of your ass.

“Damn Y/N! You like that?” He asks and you look down at him playfully nodding and biting your lip.

You slowly graze the leg that is over his shoulder, down to his back, rubbing your heel up and down it suggestively. He looks at you with dark eyes and groans a little.

“I want you… inside of me.” You say in a commanding voice, startling even yourself. He smirks a little in surprise and smacks the side of your ass again, grabbing it for a moment, before smiling up at you and scooting off the bed. He stares into your eyes, never taking his off of yours as he stands up at the foot of the bed. You watch as he quickly undoes his belt, snapping it a little as he slaps it to the floor, fucking you with his eyes. He kicks off his boots, pulls off his socks, and begins to unbutton his black denim jeans. You see him unzip his pants and roughly tug at the fabric as it falls quickly to the floor. As his pants fall his hard, glistening cock pops out and you moan to yourself in pleasure, taking your breast in your hand again. Fuck. He was so big and so ready to fuck. You thought as you saw his cock was wet around the tip already. You lick your lips and stare at his hard cock. He notices and smirks down at you.

“Hey.” He said quickly, causing you to look up into his eyes again. “My eyes are up here.” He said laughing a little before beginning to crawl up the bed, toward you, his big, strong arms climbing up you, in between your legs, up past your already aching pussy. He climbed up you until his arms were resting on either side of your head, he slowly, pushed his body down onto you, looking in your eyes, first his cock pressed against your leg, his hips grinding into yours deeply, then his stomach on yours, followed by his chest pressing down onto your breasts, he crashed his tongue into your mouth to devour it again.

He pulled you by the back of your hair slightly, to gain deeper access into your mouth and your moaned into him, your tongues fighting for dominance. He kissed you for a minute, pushing his hip into yours deep and long, you could feel his cock throbbing on your leg, you could feel his juice run slightly down your leg, after each thrust.

You break your kiss and pull his head back by his hair, staring at him.

“Please. I want you to fuck me!” You cry out and he smirks.

Suddenly, he kneels up reaches behind him grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his waist, he quickly grabs his cock, moaning at his own touch, he was so fucking turned on. And begins to bring his wet tip to your pussy, slightly running it up and down against your folds a few times before pushing himself into you with one long thrust. As does this the entire bed moves up and slams against the wall, your bodies following the motion. He groans and thrusts heavily again, noticing that every time he does this your breasts jump up and down with the motion. He thrusts into you again, long and hard, the bed bumping again.

“Fuck! Yes! Harder!” You cry out in pleasure.

He thrusts into you again and begins to slowly pick up his pace, watching was your breasts bounce up and down and the bed bouncing against the wall.

“Fuck!” He says to himself as he watches himself fuck you.

You writhe up into him, slamming your hips against him, trying to find his rhythm. He grabs your ass on both sides and guides you along with him, slamming into your harder and harder, finding a rhythm that you both enjoyed. You slammed into him and he slammed down at the same time, putting  more pressure on your clit with every deep thrust.

“Faster, Baby!” You cry out and he complies, thrusting faster into you, guiding your hips along with his. You can hear the head board slam into the wall over and over, faster and faster, as he thrusts into your harshly, you feel him pick up his pace and grab your hips harder as he licks his lips and pumps into you more and more, hitting your clit hard with every thrust.

“Yes! Right there! Harder baby!” He sees that you are so close to cumming, to he cuts loose and just starts fucking the shit out of you, the hardest you have ever been fucked. He pounds into you, hitting your clit harder and harder and filling your deeper and deeper, as he speeds his pace up. The bed sounds like it is going to break.

“Oh fuck, baby! I’m going to come.” You hear him say as he fucks you fast and hard.

He pumps into you short and hard a few more times and you feel yourself explode.

“Oh…My… God!!! Fuck! Oh Yes!” You cry out, grinding your hips deeply into his as you climax so hard, you grind up into him putting as much pressure on your clit with his hip as you can, cumming for what seemed like minutes. “Yes!!” You scream out.

“Fuck!” He cries out feeling you cum, he thrusts shorter and faster over and over into you, slamming into you the hardest he has yet, and you feel him explode inside of you.

“Fuck! Yeah!!” He cries out as he cums inside of you, thrusting a few more times to get all the pleasure he can out of you. You moan in pleasure as you feel him pump into you harshly as he cums and rides his climax out. You reach down and massage your clit, doing the same. Both of you moan out at each other and the bed continues to squeak.

He thrusts into you shortly a few more times, “Damn, Girl…” He growls as he exists you and falls exhaustedly onto your body, resting his head on the side of your neck, you move your head to allow him to do so. You are both sticky with sweat and your hearts are pounding with adrenaline. You stroke his back with your fingertip, feeling nothing but blissful pleasure. He lifts his head up to slowly kiss your neck once more before snuggling into it again, trying to regain his breath.

You couldn’t believe the amount of pleasure you had just felt, you had never experienced anything like it before. You sigh happily and kiss him on the top of his head slowly.

Once his heart beat steadied, he looks into your eyes, slightly tracing your arm with his fingertips, causing goosebumps again. “You are amazing, Y/N. If you want me to, I’ll treat you like that every day of your life.” He said, smiling contently at you.

You look down at him happily and grin. “I definitely want you… and only you to.” You say and he brings his mouth up to kiss you passionately once more, pulling you deeply into his mouth. You moan at the feeling of him, at everything about him.

He lets you go and rolls over onto his back beside you on the bed, outstretching his arm to you. You smile and turn over to lay on his shoulder, wrapping one of your arms over his chest, and one of your legs over his thigh. He tugs a blanket that was haphazardly push to the side, beside you and pulls on it, lifting it over the two of you. He sighs happily at the feel of you laying there next to him.

“I’ve wanted you for so long Y/N, I’m not ever going to let anything bad happen to you again.” He says softly.

You smile and kiss his chest softly, before laying your head back down onto him. You fell asleep smiling that night. And every night after that…

The promo and the GIF/photos inspired me…also on AO3 http://archiveofourown.org/works/9621602

Sharing is trusting

Alec’s hands are griping Magnus’ shirt backing him up towards the bedroom, leaning down to kiss him passionately as they go, lips crashing together as he’s pulled against the hard lines of shadowhunter body.

 Magnus is loving this turn of events just days after their first date but can’t help wonder why Alec suddenly seems so forward when something dawns on him. Quickly he breaks the kiss, gasping for breath with a hand on Alec’s chest to try and keep some space between them.


“Alexander…wait a moment please.” Magnus smiles at Alec and takes a small step away, hoping to slow things down a little.

“You do know just because I told you about the 17,000 doesn’t mean I expect to add you to that list right away. I think you and I could have something really special here and that means that I want to treasure every moment with you.

We don’t have to rush this, you only get one first time and you need to be sure you’re ready. And then, when you’re sure we’ll make it special, meaningful. Most of the others I don’t even remember their names, they were just a way to pass the time on lonely nights. A quick bit of fun, you already mean way more than that to me already, you know that right?”

Alec blushes and looks away, unable to hold Magnus’ gaze.

“I…I…I just want to make you happy. I don’t want you to find someone else Magnus, someone who knows how to do this, who can give you a proper relationship with everything that involves. How can I compare to all those other experiences you’ve had when I’ve literally done nothing! ”

Magnus slides his hand from Alec’s chest up to the front of his shoulder and rubs small comforting circles with his thumb until the shadowhunter looks at him again.

“Alexander, you don’t have to compete. You have my full attention and there is no one I want to spend time with more than you. I love just talking to you, I’d love to snuggle with you while we chat, kiss you some more but only if you want it too. It’s ok if we take this slow, just try not to overthink everything. You’re not the only one that feels vulnerable. ”


Alec searches Magnus face trying to figure out why the beautiful, confident man in front of him could possibly feel vulnerable.

“What are you worried about Magnus, you’ve lived forever, had so many experiences. You must know how handsome and wonderful you are, how attractive others find you.” Alec says, no heat behind his words just feeling confused still.

“Well, I try…” Magnus chuckles gesturing at himself, drawing attention to his make up and jewellery before looking a little more serious when he continues. “But there’s things about me you don’t know yet. I’m hoping you’ll get to know them eventually but let’s just say not everyone over the years has been as tolerant of warlocks as you are. Not all experiences are good ones.”

“You know that how I feel has nothing to do with you being a warlock or not. It’s you as a person that I like.” Alec reassures.

Magnus smiles up at Alec before taking a deep breath, his face now reflecting his inner insecurities and doubts, deciding if he really wants to continue with what he’s about to do.

“What’s is it Magnus? ” Alec asks as he notices not only the expression change but also the way Magnus whole body seems to have stiffened slightly.

“I want to show you something Alexander, I think it’ll help. You’ve told me about your insecurities and fears tonight so it’s only right I share a big one of my own. ” he tries to smile at the taller man but it feels week even to himself.

“Only if you’re sure…” Alec repeats back Magnus’ earlier sentiment.

“I’m sure…its just…I’ve lost people who I was interested in before over this, I don’t want to lose you but I don’t want to hide from you. I trust you and it’s important to me that you know exactly what you’re getting into before you decide if you want us to go further.” 


“Er…okay?” Alec says as he watches Magnus closes his eyes, take a deep breath and seems to steady himself for a moment. He takes both of Magnus’ hands in his, interlacing his own fingers with the other mans ringed fingers trying to reassure the man in front of him.

Slowly Magnus’ eyes flutter open and Alec’s breath catches at what he sees. Gone are the deep brown eyes that he’s used to seeing Magnus with, the expressive eyes that always give away what the warlock is feeling and now in their place are honey gold orbs with narrow almond shaped pupils. They seem to sparkle in the light and Alec can’t help but stare. 


Magnus looks away blinking as he puts the glamour back up, sadness reflected on his face as he tries to turn away and Alec immediately realises he’s not said anything yet and had just been examining the warlock marks, his gaze intense and emotionless as he tried to take in every detail. He quickly lifts his hand to cup Magnus’ face in his palm and guides it back towards him.

“You’re beautiful” he whispers, his voice breathy and low “seriously Magnus, I got a little lost looking at them and I’m sorry if that made you doubt my reaction but your eyes are just mesmerising.” Alec leans in to gently place a kiss on Magnus’ lips before pulling back to smile at him.

Magnus lets out the breath he hadn’t even realised he was still holding and smiles up at his boyfriend, his heart squeezes in his chest and he’s pretty sure it’s the last fragments of the walls he’d built crumbling and falling away. 

They stand like that for a few moments, neither one saying anything just looking at each other and smiling. Alec is the first to break the comfortable silence.

“Don’t feel like you ever have to hide from me Magnus, I love your real eyes and I’m honoured you felt ready to show me them. Now can we get back to where this night was originally going. I might have started with all the wrong reasons but I’m sure now. I trust you Magnus and I want to spend the night with you.”

“Alexander, you never cease to amaze me!” Magnus whispers as he reveals his cat eyes again and this time it’s him who reaches up to wrap his hand around the back of Alec’s neck, pulling him down to kiss him deeply as they slowly start walking their way to the bedroom again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus stirs early the next morning, the rising sun shining in his eyes where he forgot to close the curtains last night. What catches his eye though is the perfect form laying next to him, the sheet covering Alec’s lower body but his torso is bathed in sunlight and Magnus reaches out to trace the runes across the muscled sholders and back. 

Alec yawns and groans as he slowly wakes up, rolling over to smile at the warlock as long fingers slide from his back, across his ribs to land on his chest as he moves.  

“Morning sweetheart” Magnus whispers as he places a chaste kiss on Alec’s cheek.

“Hi,” Alec breathes “so last night really happened.” A blush spreading on his cheeks. 

“You don’t regret it do you?”

“Of course not Magnus, it was wonderful, you were amazing. I just wish I could have made it as good for you as it was for me” Alec ducks his head, avoiding Magnus’ gaze.

“Darling, you have no idea how good it was for me too. Being your first was an honour but it was my first time too. The first time I got to be with you, a memory I will always treasure. It’s something I hope to repeat often though.” Magnus chuckles and gives Alec a fond look.

Alec just smiles and snuggles close and rests his head on Magnus’ chest.

“I think I like that idea…very much!”

“You know Alexander, I think I had to kiss a lot of toads first but I finally found my prince in you.”

Alec just rolls his eyes at the cheesy comment but suddenly every last doubt he ever had about not being able to compare to everyone in Magnus’ past has gone. They might have got to have a small taste of this magical man but Alec is the one who gets to keep him.

ROOMMATES

(A Prison World Story)

Kai Parker x Reader

word count : 2 632
warning : smut
SUMMARY :  Reader gets sent to the Prison World where Kai is. They have briefly crossed parts before  and have spend nearly 5 months together in there, over time getting closer and eventually move in together (as friends , things grow from there) … 

*not my gif

______________________

It’s been almost 5 months since Y/N had ended up with Kai Parker in the Prison World. To her it was still a complete mystery how exactly she had ended up there.
At first she had spend her days in denial , thinking that someone will come get her out , but pretty soon it became clear that she was stuck there with Kai.  He wasn’t the worst person to be stuck with in a prison world with. At first he annoyed her and she tried to shut him out. Kai however didn’t give up. He somehow always found his way to wherever she was. Eventually she gave up avoiding him and they started spending more time together. In the end they sort of started living together because it was easier. Kai was there for her and Y/N was kind of surprised because she had never seen this side of him before. She’d have a nightmare , screaming in her sleep and Kai would show up in her room to comfort her in seconds as if he had been awake all along. Maybe he was ..  Other times he’d do small things like make her favorite food when she was sad and missed the real world.


“I know we are stuck here , but in a way I am happy.” Kai told her once.
“Why?” she asked curious. Y/N couldn’t imagine why he’d be happy in any way , being stuck for eternity in another prison world.
“Because this time I am not alone…” he had answered. “Loneliness can do things to your head that nothing else can.“ 


Over time they grew so used to having each other around , it felt wrong when they were spending time alone. Y/N realised very soon after that she had developed feelings for him, but was afraid to tell him.
He probably would just laugh and push me away. she thought. Kai wasn’t very well versed in feelings and emotions , even after the merge with Luke. Some times the old Kai bleed throught … Y/N couldn’t explain to herself how it was that even when the old Kai showed up , it was drawing her even more to him.

                                                    *  *  *


Y/N was studying in the kitchen wearing her pj’s that evening when Kai walked in wearing nothing but his boxers. He poured himself a cup of coffee and turned towards her.
“I still don’t get why you are studying … It’s not like you can get a diploma or anything.” he said.
Y/N sighed not taking her eyes off the papers and books in front of her. “Doesn’t mean I can’t learn things. Gotta do something else besides wondering around this empty town …” thinking about you.  she added in her mind. She looked up at him and for a moment she forgot how to breath.
Did he have to walk around wearing only his boxers? she thought. It was really hard concentrating staring at his bare chest and toned muscles.
Kai must’ve noticed her look because he grinned.
Damn.  she thought. As if I didn’t have a hard time concentrating already.
Y/N tried to catch her breath and come up with something to say to him but couldn’t. Her thoughts were absolutely consumed by fantasies about him.
“Want some coffee ?” he asked still grinning.
“No , no .. I don’t want coffee.” she said studdering. “T-thanks.”
Y/N returned her attention to her studies or at least tried to.  Kai had suddenly decided that he wanted pancakes too with his coffee and started making them without bothering to go back to his room and put on a shirt. He was doing this on purpose , she was sure of it.
She couldn’t take her eyes off of him , he looked so good it was driving her nuts.
Every few minutes he’d glance at her and she’d lower her gaze straight away.
Y/N watched him flip pancakes in the air like a pro for a little bit.
After about half an hour , just as she had finally managed to concentrate on her studies , a plate with pancakes landed infront of her - a blueberry smile on them. She couldn’t help but smile.
“Thanks.” she said glancing at him. Kai was standing less than a meter away from her , a wide grin on his face. For a few seconds she forgot how to breath again. She loved his smile… A moment later she let out a frustrated groan.
“Aghh … ! You are driving me nuts !” she said picking up her things from the table and getting up , ready to walk out of the room.
“OH I am driving you nuts ?” he said with an amused look on his face.
“Yes , you … you … walking around like all shirtless and … you can’t do that ,OK? It’s really distracting.”
“Never bothered you before.” he said taking a step towards her.
“Well , it’s bothering me now. So could you just stop doing this while I’m studying?”
Kai grinned. “Does someone have a crush on me?” he said innocently.
Y/N’s eyes widened, she started shaking her head refusing to meet his eyes.
“No , no … What ? Don’t flatter yourself , Malachai.” she said turning around , already at the door when Kai blocked her way. He took the books from her hands and left them on the counter near by.
“Are you sure ?” he asked leaning in. “Because I can hear your heartbeat… and it’s telling me a different story.” he said softly.
Y/N’s breathing had gotten shallow again.
“I ..  don’t know what you are talking about.” she said , her voice barely audible.
Kai leaned in to whispered in her ear , slowly putting his hands on her waist tugging at her shirt. His fingers gently touching her bare skin sending shivers through her whole body.
“I think you do.” he whispered , his breath tickling her skin.
Y/N’s  breath got stuck in her throat , her heart beating like crazy. There was no point in denying it now.
Kai’s lips hovered over hers , his eyes locked on hers. They stood like that for a long moment before he pressed his lips againsts hers , kissing her slowly at first but soon after the kiss deepened.
“I want you  … and I always get what I want.” Kai whispered to her. Y/N wrapping her arms around his neck , pulling his lips closer to hers. His hands slided down her hips , lifting one of her legs wounding it around his waist before slamming her against the wall. Y/N gasped.
Kai pressed his body firmly against hers , his crotch grinding against hers their moans colling in a perfect harmony.
“What was it you said earlier?” he teased her, pinning her hands above her head.
“Shut up and kiss me.” Y/N said out of breath.
A smile spread across Kai’s face but he didn’t lean in. Instead he decided to tease her a bit more. His hand trailed slowly down her body and under her pj’s, pushing its way in her underwear , his fingers teasing her clit. A soft moan escaped Y/N’s lips making Kai grin. He had her right where he wanted her.
“Please Kai” she moaned again , biting her lower lip.
Y/N was losing focus , her knees about to buckle. She had imagined this moment before but her imagination was surely lacking.
Kai grinned hearing her begging for him.
“Please ‘what’ babe?” leaned in and whispered, his breath tickling her skin.
His face so close to hers , their lips almost touching. His eyes dark with lust.
“I need you Kai.” she moaned.
Kai kissed her passionately as he tugged on her shirt pulling it over her head tossing it on the floor.
Y/N could feel his length getting harder against her , his soft moans making her go crazier by the second. She wanted him.. no , i need him. she thought.
His hand cupping her breasts squeezing them as his hand found its way back to her sweet spot. She threw her head back a little as his thumb started playing with her clit again before sliding in two fingers inside curling them inside agonisingly slowly before pumping them in and out. Her mouth opened and a moan escaped her when he did so.  He leaned in , his tongue slightly  touching the skin on her neck , drawing circles before he left a few wet sloppy kisses on it. Y/N felt her stomach like it was anchored down.
She tried to wiggle her hands out of his grip but he wouldn’t let her. All she wanted in that moment was to feel his length inside of her.  Suddenly he pulled out leaving her breathless and aggravated.
“Jump.” Kai said , and she did , wrapping her legs around him. He whooshed them away to his bedroom , pushing her onto the bed. He kissed her neck slowly tracing his way down her body leaving sloppy wet kisses all the way. His finger tips trailing on her skin all the way down , making her arch her back.
Everywhere Kai touched her skin , it was like fire. He had lit the match and Y/N wanted to burn in the fire he had started.
His hands swiftly pulled down her panties leaving her completely naked in front of him. Kai pulled back for a moment looking at her , a devilish spark in his eyes as his fingers traced her entrance , rubbing her clit. Y/N bit her lips squeezing her breasts in her hands. Her mouth opened and a soft moan escaped her lips when Kai pushed his fingers right through and started to slowly thrust his fingers in and out of her. Each time his fingers curled inside her , she arched her back more.  She reached out to touch his hair as Kai’s fingers curled again , pumping in and out slower this time driving her completely insane.
“Please” she started to squirm. “Please Kai …”
Kai grinned. “Not yet.” he said , pulling out his fingers.
He loved hearing her beg for him. He spread her legs wide infront of him and positioned himself between her legs , his head of his lenght teasing her entrance for a long moment before thrusting in deep making her gasp ; going at a slow rhythm at first , quickening his pace every second. Y/N digging her nails into his back. She was out of breath and all she could do was thinking about herself coming undone underneath Kai’s touch.
“Faster Kai please.. ” her moans getting louder and louder.
Y/N wrapped her legs around him , pulling him closer to her.
Kai’s face started to change , purple - black veins showing under his eyes as his fangs started to show. Y/N could see he was fighting it , but she didn’t want him to.  She cupped his face , trailing the patters on his skin with her fingertips. He closed his eyes , his mouth opened.
“Fuck ..” he moaned , a heavier thrust following. He could barely control his vampirism , all his emotions blurrying into hunger.
“Don’t fight it.” she whispered as Kai opened his eyes looking directly into hers. Y/N bit her lower lip. Kai leaned in breathing heavily , and sank his fangs into her exposed neck. She let out a small scream followed by moans of pleasure sent through her body. Who knew being fed on can feel this good? she thought.
Kai hadn’t tasted fresh human blood in months and she tasted so good it was hard to stop. He wanted her in so many ways in that moment…
He pulled out , nibbling on her earlobe and leaving soft kisses on her neck before looking at her. A smile on Y/N’s face and she pulled his face closer to his , her tongue licking his lower lip before she kissed him. He groaned , his thrusts becoming faster , Y/N’s body convulsing as he pushed her over the edge , she was screaming his name. A few more thrusts and Kai reached his high too , burring his face in the crook of her neck his tongue drawing circles on her skin.
Kai collapsed on top of her , breathing heavily.  Shortly after he rolled over next to her , both of them catching their breath. He bit his wrist , bringing it to her lips to feed so her wound would heal. She took it without hesitation , gripping on his wrist.
“We should’ve done that months ago.” he said with a grin,  pulling her closer to him , her head on his chest.
Y/N didn’t say anything , she smiled pulling his face in for another kiss. 

                                                   *   *   *  


The next day Y/N was laying on the living room floor , her eyes closed.
What had happened last night repeating in her mind over and over again. There was something bothering her … As happy as she had been last night , she still didn’t know if it was all in her head that maybe Malachai had some feelings for her.
“Y/N?” she heard Kai’s voice. “Are you … are you OK? Why are you laying in the middle of the living room floor?”
Y/N opened her eyes and found Kai kneeling down next to her , a worried look on his face. He sighed in relief when she opened her eyes. She just stared at him , trying to figure out a way to ask him the question that’s been bugging her the past few hours.
Kai grinned at her and laid down next to her , his shoulder almost touching his.
“Aren’t you going to tell me what’s so fun about laying on the floor here?” he asked turning his head to look at her. Y/N turned towards him , locking eyes with him.
How does he do that ? He just sits there and takes my breath away completely.  she thought.
“I’m just thinking … or at least trying to.” she said.
“What are you thinking about ?” he asked curious.
Y/N hesitated for a moment. It would’ve been easy to lie to him or ignore the question .. but he’d know she is lying straight away.
“Last night.” she just said smiling.“Was it … was .. was it just a one time thing?”
“Do you want it to be just a one time thing?” he asked.
“No.” she said turning towards him. “Do you?”
Kai reached for her hand and took it in his.
“Y/N , I …” he said flipping himself on top of her , his knee between her legs. “I don’t want it to be a ‘one time thing’ either.” he paused for a moment gazing into her eyes. “I want you , to be with you .. always.”
Y/N’s eyes lit up and she felt her heart beat go faster.
“What … what are you trying to say?” she said smiling.
Kai laughed nervously. “I am saying that I can’t stop thinking about you. You have made me feel things I’ve never felt in my life…and I am not sure what all those feelings mean , but they are so strong I can’t shake them. I just want to be with you every second of every day , never letting you go.”
She couldn’t contain her emotions and she grinned. “I guess , it’s a good thing we have eternity ahead of us.” she said , pulling her hips down on his thigh between her legs.
“Do you want to go for round 2 ?” she asked biting her lower lip. 

_____________________
MASTERLIST
_____________________

Request: Hi!! I love your imagines, and I’m glad you’re in a better place! Thank you so much for writing these lol. I was wondering if you could do one where you help Peter write the story about George fir the paper and then you wind up kind of comforting him about the whole thing? Lots of fluff please lol THANK YOU!!!

A/N: thank you love 💕

——————-

It was a boring day like normal in the local news shop. You had been working as a writer here for a couple months now, and nothing even remotely exciting ever happened.

You had always wanted to work for the paper, maybe one day becoming the editor. But you wanted to work for a big news company, not the little local paper. You had to start somewhere though.

You were by yourself today, trying to finish an article for tomorrow’s paper. It was Sunday, so most people were home with your families. Your family worked all the time, so you spent your Sunday’s here.

Your attention was diverted when you heard the bell ding as someone opened the door. You immediately locked eyes with a boy about your age, shocking you.

“Can I help you?” You asked, straightening your back from its previous bent over position.

“Yes, I erm, I was hoping you would help me with an article for the paper?” The boy asked nervously, shuffling on his feet.

“What is it about?” You asked curiously, beckoning him over with your hand.

“It’s about a friend of mine, George.” He said, walking towards you and holding out a half written article.

You skimmed through the first two sentences, before pausing and looking up at the boy in shock.

“Your friend, he was the one that just died wasn’t he? On a ship from Dunkirk?” You questioned, remembering the gossip going around town vividly. Nothing really ever happened here, so when a young boy died it was the main talk for days.

“He came with my dad and I to bring home some soldiers. He hit his head after falling and well, he didn’t make it. He told me before he died that he had always wanted his picture in the paper. He wanted to make his family proud.”

You were taken aback by the story and the emotion in the boys voice. You couldn’t possibly say no.

“Well, let’s make it happen shall we?” You asked, earning a small smile from the cute blonde boy.

“Thank you, miss…” He trailed off, waiting for you to state your name.

“Y/N.”

“Thank you Y/N, I really appreciate it. I’m Peter by the way, Peter Dawson.” He held out his hand for you to shake, which you accepted.

“Don’t mention it Peter. Now, let’s get started.”

For the next two hours, the two of you worked on the article. You had just finished typing it up, showing the finished story to him.

“Tomorrow’s paper is full, but I’ll get it in there on Tuesday if that’s alright.” You told him, watching worriedly as his hands shook as he read the article.

“It’s perfect, thank you.” Peter choked out, raising teary eyes to meet yours.

“Oh Peter.” You whispered, standing up and pulling him into your arms. He broke down against you, crying into your neck. “I’m so sorry.”

“I just wish he was here to see this. I should have never let him come with us. It should have been me that died out there, not him.” Peter was full on sobbing against you, finally letting out the tears he had been holding in for a few days now.

“Please don’t do that to yourself.” You whispered, holding him tighter. “Don’t blame yourself. George wouldn’t want you to do that to yourself, and he definitely would want you to be dead and him alive. Doing this to yourself isn’t fair to him.”

“I know. I just miss him. He was my best friend, I didn’t want to lose a second brother.” He cried harder, making your heart break.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You murmured, pulling him down and resting his head in your lap as you ran your fingers though his hair. “He’s in a better place now, smiling down at you. He wouldn’t want you to be sad, he’d want you to remember the good times you’ve had together.”

Peter was beginning to calm down a little, turning so he was looking up at you.

“Can you do that? Can you think of the happy times you had with him? Maybe you’d like to talk about them?”

“Well, there was this one time…”

The two of you spent the rest of the afternoon just like that, sharing laughs and tears as he talked about George.

George was gone, but he could live on through Peters memories.

so I would like a scenario with yuto and the reader. Where yuto has a crush on you and is trying to express his feelings to you, and is trying to do cute stuff for you but you’re relatively indifferent about how you feel towards him


Scenario: yuto/reader (this is the first time I do a request, so I hope it is good)

There he was again. Looking at you with heart eyes and expectantly. He had just presented you a huge bouquet of your favorite flowers and you felt your heart flutter at how nervous he seemed to be. “Uh, d-do you like them? I remembered that time we talked once and you told me you liked this type… so I just figured I could give you some…” his voice faded at the end of the sentence and you held back a sigh.

You two had that conversation about two months ago and he still remembered it? How sweet could this japanese boy get? “They are pretty,” you say with a forced nonchalant tone. “But what are you doing here in my house? It’s almost midnight, Yuto…”

The boy’s shoulders dropped considerably. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was this late, really…” all of his 1,82m didn’t seem much as he was almost curling in a ball of shame. Your heart clenched, it hurt a little to see how miserable he looked doing all of that stuff to get your attention even though it was extremely cute. “I guess, I’ll leave-”

Suddenly, a loud thunder reverberated and both of you gasped in surprise. A big storm was coming, you thought. Looking at Yuto and the flowers he was holding, you took a deep breath and decided to cut yourself some slack. After all, you would only be inviting him in to save Yuto from the rain; you surely was not giving in to your own feelings. “Hey, come inside,” you said and his dark eyes widened cutely. You held back a smile, “we both know that if you get sick due to the rain it will be bad not only for you but for the whole group, right? Besides, I could use a helping hand to put those flowers in a vase.”

He nodded a little stunned and followed you inside the living room. The lights were on and he observed your simple house. “It is not much,” you said. “I know you guys live in a better dorm, but I like the simpleness of here.”

“Oh! I actually love it,” he said smiling. “It’s just like you, I guess.”

“Um? What do you mean by that?” you frowned and went inside the small kitchen to grab a glass vase.

“It just reminds me a lot of you. The way the furniture is distributed, the way it smells sweet like your cologne and how it is small,” he chuckled and you felt your hands halt at his words. “I just like it.”

And what the hell would you answer to that? “Uh, could you come here? I’ll put the flowers in it,” you said, finally deciding to ignore his words.

Yuto entered the small room and it looked like he was almost too tall for it. The air felt heavier and you forced your heart to maintain a steady beat. “Oh,” his deep voice sounded surprised. “You still have this…”

You looked up and saw the small poorly made penguin figure that was up your fridge. He had given it to you after they made sculptures in a variety show. The MC had said that they should give it to someone they cared about since they made it with their own hands. The next day, Yuto appeared at your doorstep with it in hands and a faint blush in his cheeks. You had watched the show and you knew what that meant, but you decided to ignore it. It couldn’t be. Adachi Yuto didn’t have a crush on you.

However, as the time went by, he kept sending more signals and Yuto became more bold everyday. He started sending texts of “good morning” and “have you eaten yet” constantly even though you were sure he did not have the time to do it. It was obvious to everyone that all of his free time was used to talk to you and you really enjoyed it. Still… how could you accept it? He was the main rapper and the vocalist of Pentagon and you couldn’t allow yourself into that dream. Even if Yuto wanted it as much as you.

“Yes,” you said with a normal tone. He gave you the flowers and you carefully prepared them to fit in the vase. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “It’s kind of ugly.”

No, it’s not and I love it, you thought. “It’s not that ugly,” you said, “it’s alright.” He hummed in agreement and you cursed internally; things were not supposed to be like this. “It’s done,” you said finishing the work with the flowers. You wrapped your hands around them and one thorns pricked your finger. “Ouch!”

“Are you okay?!” Yuto promptly got your wrist in hands and took the flowers out of your hand to examine what had happened. It was a small thing, just a little blood coming out of your index finger, but he still frowned deep in concern and gently caressed your palm. “Damn, we should get this cleaned.”

You were ready to tell him he didn’t have to do all of that. Everything was fine, it didn’t even hurt! But you couldn’t. The feeling of his large hands involving yours and how he kindly led you to the faucet and washed your finger made you stay right there, with your heart pounding against your chest and trying to not lose your mind.

“I think it’s fine, do you have a band-aid?” he asked suddenly making full eyes contact.

“I-I,” you stuttered and rapidly took your hand out of his. Yuto frowned a little and unsuccessfully tried to hide his disappointment. “I’m fine, Yuto.”

“But, your finger…”

“I’m really fine,” you cut his sentence and hurriedly headed to the living room trying to get away from that crumpled place where you shared too much space with the tall man.

“Hey…” Yuto called softly. You had your back turned to him, but you could feel how close he was. His hands landed on your shoulders and you felt like melting. “What… what is wrong? Did something happen? D-did I do something?”

You firmly shook your head. You couldn’t believe how concerned he sounded. “It’s nothing, Yuto. Maybe… maybe you should go home.”

He took a few steps and put himself in front of you. Yuto leaned forward and took your chin between his long fingers to make you meet his eyes. He looked more worried than sad about your request and that broke your heart. “Come on, baby, if there is something wrong, you can tell me.”

B-baby?” your eyes widened and Yuto’s did the exact same. It looked like he hadn’t noticed the word coming off of his lips.

“I-I mean,” his deep voice was weak, “it’s just…”

It just looked like he had ran out of excuses. Both of you fell into an awkward silence and the tension could be cut by a knife. You knew why he had called you like that and you knew that you wanted that. But, still…

“I need to tell you something,” he said and your throat went completely dry. “It’s been a long time actually, probably since the first time I met you, and I was planning on letting it go, but it just don’t go away-”

“Yuto-”

“No, I need to finish this.” His eyes were completely locked on yours and the way your heart was beating against your ribs made you think the organ could even escape. “I know you don’t like me, but I can’t help but worrying about you, wanting constantly to be around you; seriously, I get why you don’t like me, but I-”

You know your expression revealed pure shock and Yuto took a deep, cracked breath. He looked like he was hesitating and the atmosphere felt so heavy in your lungs that it was hard to breathe.

“But I like you,” he finally said. “I really do.”

There were tears prickling in the corners of your eyes; you were paralyzed, you had no idea of what to say, of what to do with your feelings. You wanted to cry.

“And it’s fine if you don’t like me back,” he smiled painfully. “Because all I want is to be by your side, whether you are indifferent or not; I just like you too much to care.”

I like you too, the words were right there in your mind; but you seemed incapable of saying them. Yuto sighed and you swear you could see tears in his eyes too.

“I’ll go now,” he said and your heart sank in your chest. “I’m really sorry for this,” he turned his back to you and walked towards the front door. “Just please… don’t push me away-”

You grabbed his wrist and closed your eyes trying to muster all the courage you could ever have. “I… I won’t push you away, Yuto,” your voice was practically a whisper. “I want you to stay.”

Slowly, you opened your eyes and waited with your head turned to the ground for some reaction.

When there was some seconds of pure nothingness and you were ready to regret everything you had done, you felt his arms around you.

He hugged you tightly and squeezed you a little. Your head was right on his shoulder and his perfume was relaxing; it felt just right.

“I will stay,” he said and you smiled against the cloth of his t-shirt.

Maybe you shouldn’t have waited so much to make that cutie yours.


Scenario wooseok/reader

BACK TOGETHER


(requested by anon)

Kai Parker x Reader 
word count
: 4 366
summary : Reader and Kai have loved each other before he got sent to Hell and when he comes back they meet again. 
 *gif by jake-riley
keep reading after the cut ;)

______________________


A sigh came from behind her just as she was putting on her shirt but before she had had time to turn around, Kai placed his hands over her eyes.
“Kai what are y-”
“Shhh…” he shushed her. “Come with me.”
Kai led her down the hallway , as she stumbled every few steps. It had been the 7 month anniversary since the day they had met and Kai wanted to make something special to surprise her. He wanted to celebrate every moment they shared together. Preparing the surprise however had been a little trickier with her in the apartment. He had been trying very very hard not to let her see any of it before things are ready.
“You are the most special person I’ve ever had in my life.” he said as they walked to the balcony right outside his apartments living room. “And I know you said you didn’t want me to do anything special for today but I feel like we should celebrate the little moments , you know. Though meeting you was quite possibly the biggest moment in my life and without you I just – I don’t know who I would be anymore.”
“You will never be without me , Kai.” she said smiling. “I will always be by your side. Always and forever , remember ?”
 Kai removed his palms from her eyes and Y/N opened them , finding the balcony arranged so beautifully  her breath got caught in her throat. There were flower petals on the ground and a couple of flower pots here and there. On the small table there was breakfast for the both of them and a small vase with her favourite flowers along with her favourite pancakes with coconut whipped cream , coffee and fresh berries enough for the both of them. Y/N turned towards him with a wide smile on her face , finding him smiling back at her.
“D-do you like it?” asked Kai smiling nervously. “I didn’t have much time this morning. You wouldn’t let me leave the bed and I ju-”
Y/N pressed her lips against his not letting him finish. He was always so nervous when doing things like that , afraid he’s going to mess it up somehow.
“I don’t like it.” she said with a serious tone , gazing into his eyes. “I love it!”
  Kai laughed pulling her into his arms. Y/N was the best thing that has happened to him in his life. There were days where he’d just sit and look at her , not saying a word just thinking how lucky he was that they had found each other. After all the bad things he had done , somehow the universe had decided to reward him with her and he wanted to be better because of her.
“Happy 7 month anniversary since the day we met.” he said pressing his lips on hers. “Remember ? You were at Skull bar studying or pretending to study while drinking beer on the bar when I sat there and in your rush to get back to classes , you somehow spilled all of it on your clothes and you had to borrow my jacket.”
“OH I remember.” she smiled at the memory. Y/N hadn’t had a clue who he was at the time but the moment their eyes met it was already clear he is
the one. Though she still wondered how she had spilled the drink on herself … “I also remember how you couldn’t stop starring at my chest through wet shirt -”
“HEY it had been a while since I had seen anything like it.” he raised his hands in defence. “I’m quite happy you spilled that drink on yourself though. Other ways we might’ve missed each other.”
“Not possible. We would’ve found each other some other way. I’m sure of it.” she smiled at him as Kai sat on one of the chairs and pulled her down on his lap , wrapping his arms around her tightly.
“I hope so. OH and I have a surprise for you. Well , another one.” he said , taking a small box she hadn’t noticed hidden behind the flowers. “This is for you.”
Y/N took the box and opened it finding a key inside. She looked up at him with curious look in her eyes. There had been a lot of things she had expected to find in there but a key was not one of them.
“A key? What does it open ?” she wondered , holding it with her fingers.
“Y/N , we’ve – we’ve been together for more than 5 months now. I don’t even know how I got that lucky to have met you in the first place , let alone to have fallen in love with you and have you loving me back.” he started , not taking his eyes away from her. “You are staying over most nights anyways. I just thought that – maybe you’d like to move in with me ? Officially ?”
“I would love to.” said Y/N smiling. “But are you sure ? You know how annoying I can be. I’ll eat your pork rinds and sing at the top of my lungs when my favourite song plays on the radio , distract you all the time - ”
Kai laughed under his breath , gazing into her eyes. Nothing Y/N did could ever annoy him. What they had was special. It had been this instant connection you see in movies. From the moment he had first seen her , he had felt something towards her - even before the merge. There was just something about her that drew him in like a magnet.  After the merge it had slowly started becoming clear to him what those emotions meant and eventually they found their way to each other. Y/N had changed his life and he had changed hers.  They loved each other more than any of them could put into words. Y/N would do anything for him and Kai was the same when it came to her.
“I love you more than anything Y/N… and I don’t ever ever want to know what its like to live without you.” said Kai , his eyes sparkling like never before. “And I want to wake up next to you every morning. Forever.”
“I don’t want to what life without you is like either. ” she said smiling. “Losing you would mean losing a part of me and I know I wont recover. I love you.” she said softly. “More than words.”


Y/N opened her eyes , feeling a tear roll down her cheek. Every time a moment she and Kai had shared returned as a dream to her , it was always like this. It wasn’t like the memories were sad , no - the memories were happy , but the hole in her heart had never healed. It had been four years since Kai had died and Y/N would still stop by his grave at least once a day or more. Some days her ‘stopping by’ meant spending hours sitting on the ground next to his headstone , talking to him. At least Stefan had been sensitive enough towards her feelings , understanding that they loved each other and had helped her bury him. Damon had had other intentions.
Damon.
The past few years Y/N had spent hating him and that had drawn a rift between her and her friends. Every time the subject was brought up they’d just start arguing with her how Kai had never changed and had fooled her into believing that he had. Not that it mattered to Y/N. The heart wants what the heart wants and she would’ve loved him either way. None of the people she grew up with was willing to admit that Bonnie stabbing Kai in the back , literally , and ditching him in 1903 had caused the chaos at the wedding. Kai had even said it himself. Damon and Bonnie had had tricked him and Kai had believed them because he had wanted to , not realising what a huge mistake that was. How was he not to snap again ? He spent weeks in 1903 used as a human blood bag to Lilly’s heretics. Being left alone again in another Prison World was going to have it’s consequences. Yet Kai hadn’t been completely gone even then , he never had been. Why else would he stab Jo first , making sure she is dead before killing himself and taking his entire coven with him ? No , Kai cared about his sister enough to spare her the slow painful death the rest of the coven would have to endure after he jammed that piece of glass in his neck. Everyone always expected the worst from him and in the end he had given in , living up to their worse expectations. Nothing Y/N said to her friends mattered though…

A sigh left her lips and she placed her hand on her forehead , trying to blink back the tears. Four years and it was still him. It had always been only him and it would always be him. Losing him didn’t hurt any less with time as people always said. Stefan had offered to take away her suffering , make her forget and help her move on but Y/N had refused. There was no way she’d ever let someone mess with her memories of Kai and – moving on ? How does someone move on after losing their other half ? No. It wasn’t possible.
Y/N’s phone rang interrupting her thoughts. DAMON said the caller ID. A groan left her lips and she clicked ignore. Last thing she wanted was to talk to her least favourite person on this planet. Her phone rang again , and again. Finally she picked up realising there was no other way to get rid of him.
“What is it Damon?” she said sounding more annoyed than ever. “If you have called to gloat again I swear -”
“Don’t hang up , just listen.” he said starting to talk really fast. “I know you hate my guts and you don’t ever want to see my face or hear my voice ever again. You made that very clear but … I think I can make it up to you.”
“What ? Did you invent a time machine that would take me back to the time I tried to stake you so I can finally get some peace of mind?” she rolled her eyes. There was no way for Damon to make it up to her. Not now , not ever. He had tried apologising and she had told him multiple times that  ‘Sometimes I do things I don’t have to do.’  does not count as an apology. One of the few times he had tried that half-ass apology , she had tried to stake him and almost had succeeded if it hadn’t been for Stefan intervening.
 “Let me say HI. Let me say HI.” said a very familiar voice from the other end of the line. Y/N blinked fast a couple of times sure that her dreams were now turning into full blown hallucinations. And even if that was true , all of the sudden Damon had he complete attention.
“No. Not a time machine but something happened.” said the vampire. “Meet me downtown in 30 minutes near the diner ? You know , the one you tried to stake me in after I tried to apologise?”
“Wait , who’s in the car with you?”
“Just come meet me. ”
“Wait , Damon if you don’t tell me who - ”
“And wear something nice. BYE.” said Damon , hanging up a second later.
Y/N stared at her phone screen shaking her head. It wasn’t possible was it ? No. Her mind was playing tricks on her … or Damon was playing another twisted game but either way she had to know. She opened the nightstand’s drawer pulling out the same wooden stake she had tried to use to kill him the first time. If he was messing with her , things would get ugly and this time he was going to get it.
Quickly she got up and put on her favourite jeans and one of Kai’s tshirts. Y/N could never bring herself to give them away or any of his things. Why would she? After he had asked her to move in with him officially , he had practically packed her things for her with magic and they moved in the same day , a few hours after he asked actually. Living in his apartment had been the only thing to keep her from falling apart 100% after his death. Y/N could feel him everywhere around her - sometimes she could literally see him smile at her from across the room or motioning for her to come sit on his lap while watching TV. Everywhere she looked , he was there … only it wasn’t really real. It was all her imagination. Y/N brushed her hair , pulling it in a loose ponytail , grabbed her phone and put the wooden stake in her backpack before running outside.

Y/N walked down the street taking a turn just to where the diner was with her phone in her hands just about to dial Damon’s number when she spotted him in standing at the beginning of one of the alleys talking on his phone and there was someone incredibly familiar with him.
  “Come on Damon. Next victim won’t find itself.”

Keep reading

** My favourites

Lazy Saturdays and Eskimo Kisses (1/1 | 3,970 | Rated E) **

Even spends the weekend with Isak being cute and getting up to some shenanigans.

The aftermath (8/8 | 8,297 | Rated T) **

Since Skam is on hiatus till the 14th here’s my every day fanfiction of what I think Isak is going through after the events of Episode 5. It’ll cover all the 8 days until Skam comes back.

And if they taste the same, would you love again? (4/4 | 5,700 | Rated M) **

It’s like we are running our own private marathon yet we are lying there absolutely still apart from the breathing and my sobs that I just cant control. Because how can he not want this? How can he not feel whatever cosmic shit is happening when were together? I am so angry at him, I am so scared, and I haven’t got a fucking clue where we go from here, apart from that at this moment in time I don’t care. I just need him. I need him to tell me its alright, that he is mine, and that it was all a fucking mistake. But he doesn’t. Instead he just kisses me. And it’s fucking breathtaking.

Keep reading

BIRDS AND BEES


(requested by anon)

Kai Parker x Reader
word count
: 3 597
summary : Kai and Reader’s five year old daughter has a couple of questions , making both her parents freak out a little.
note : (to the anon who requested it) not sure if thats what you wanted but i hope you like it ☺❤
* gif by shelleyhening
________________________


Kai turned to his side in his sleep reaching his hand for his wife. It had been six years since they had become a couple and a little over five years since their baby daughter had been born. When Y/N and Kai had first met they hadn’t been friends at all , in fact they had barely been able to stand each other. Always teasing and finding a way to annoy the other until one night at the Grill not too long after the merge when some guy had tried to put his hands on Y/N without her consent and Kai had intervened. After that things between them had changed completely and they had finally seen the truth , realising they love each other.
   "D-daddy !“ giggled their daughter. “You are tickling me !”
   "Wh-what ?“ he said sleepily , slowly opening his eyes. “What are you doing here sweetheart ? When did you get here?”
   "I had a nightmare.“ mumbled the little girl almost jumping on top of him. Grace’s small hands wrapped around his neck , dragging along her favourite stuffed toy. “There was a monster under my bed and it came out and tried to hurt us.”
   "Awwh princess.“ he said softly wrapping his arms around her. “It was just a dream. You know daddy would never let anything happen to you or mom. I love you both so much and I will always protect you both , no matter what.”
Grace sighed looking at her dad while holding Mr. Pebbles , her stuffed bear which she took with her literally everywhere. Kai and Y/N had gotten it the day their baby girl had been born. They had been in the toy store when Grace decided it’s time for her to show up and brighten up her parents life. His little girl looked so sad and scared he had to do something to cheer her up and since it was a little too early for cookies or her favourite chocolate chip pancakes , he went with the next best thing he could think of.
   "Bop.“ he said tapping her nose, seeing her smile for a second. “Bop , bop.”
   "Daddy -“ she laughed when he started poking her stomach and tickling her. ”- stop.“
   "You know , laughter scares the monsters away. So if you laugh instead of being scared , the monsters won’t ever get you.”
   "Really ?“
   "Yes and Mr. Pebbles - ” he said , seating her stuffed bear in between them “ - is a superhero. He is here to protect you too.”
Kai hid his face behind the bear and took his paw , blowing a kiss to Grace while changing his voice.
   "That is true. I will protect my Y/N always and forever.“
   "See , told you.”
Grace started laughing , taking Mr. Pebbles from her dad’s arms and hugging him tight while Kai hugged her. He loved listening to her laugh. It was one of his most favourite sounds in the world - along with her mother’s laugh and both their heart beats. Those sounds always gave him hope and he knew as long as he has them - everything will be perfect.
   "I love love love you princess.“ he said kissing her cheek.
Y/N stirred in her sleep hearing laughter around her , unable to separate it from her dream for a moment. Then the sounds became clearer as she started to wake up. Slowly Y/N opened one of her eyes at first , taking a peek. Their daughter was almost sitting on Kai’s chest with her tiny hands on his cheeks pushing them together while he made funny faces to make her laugh.
Grace’s laugh was everything - echoing in the house every minute of every day , never letting sadness or even the hint of it creep inside. Their little girl had become their own personal sun since the moment she had been born and there were no words to describe how much she and her dad loved her.
   "Are you having a hugging party in the middle of the night without me ?” laughed Y/N, snuggling closer to the two most important people in her life. “Because if so - ”
Kai blew his cheeks , bringing his eyes together for a second watching his little girl laugh even louder when he started tickling her and his arms wrapped around her tight. He laughed and Grace rolled onto the bed between her parents. Y/N kissed her cheek and wrapped her arms around her at the same time he wrapped his arms around them from the other side and they all cuddled together. Her dad kept tapping Grace’s nose , tickling her and his wife for a while until Grace somehow fell asleep between them.
   "I love watching you like this. Daddy and daddy’s little girl.“ whispered Y/N , intertwining her fingers with her husbands. "Can’t believe what a big goofball you have turned into.”
   "I can’t help it.“ he whispered back. "Grace brings out my goofball side even more than you. Remember that time we were at the Salvatore’s when you didn’t like me yet , or you liked me and acted like you didn’t -”
   "Kai - “
   ” - and you were supposed to watch me for a few hours and I kept following you around the house until you smashed that piece of pie on my face just to get me to stop following you ?“
   "I remember it the other way around. You were the one who smashed pie in my face.”
   "Well , yeah , but only after you smashed a piece in mine.“
   "That never happened.” she laughed.
   "I have the shirt to prove it.“
Y/N’s expression froze on the spot. "Wait , you still keep the shirt I stained that day — stained ? Oh God –”
   "You are going to yell at me aren’t you?“ he whispered. "Look , its an important shirt. That was the first time you actually laughed at something I did. Now that I think back , maybe that was the exact moment I fell for you. How am I not going to keep the shirt ?! Wait — w-where are you going ?”
Carefully Y/N slipped off the bed with Kai’s eyes following her around the room. He watched her kneel down to open the last drawer of the dresser , searching for something in there. About 6 years ago , not too long before the moment at the Grill that changed both their lives , Damon had almost forced her to keep an eye on Kai while he goes to talk to Bonnie in an attempt to get her to forgive Kai. Her husband kept following her around the house , making jokes and trying to get her to laugh while checking out every single thing in the living room and annoying her off the charts. A couple of hours later Y/N had gotten hungry and had gone to the kitchen thinking that maybe she had ditched Kai somewhere on the way. Her fingers had gotten some frosting on them while cutting the pie and he had grabbed her hand , licking her fingers clean. Instead of slapping him , she had smashed her piece with pie in his face. Until that day she could still see Kai’s startled expression seconds before a piece of pie got smashed in her face and they had both started laughing. When Damon had come back , both Kai and Y/N had had pie stains on their shirts and neither of them appeared to care much or wanted to explain what had happened.
   "Y/N ?“ he whispered.
When Y/N didn’t answer he glanced at Grace curled up with Mr. Pebbles on their bed , pulled the covers over her and got off the bed. His wife appeared to be so lost in her thoughts she didn’t even hear him walk behind her until his arms wrapped around her as he knelt on the ground , nearly scaring her to death.
   "What are you looking for?” he whispered. “Sorry, I thought you heard me coming.”
   "I am a witch not a vampire , remember ?“ she teased , reaching her hand to the back of the drawer pulling out a blue plastic bag. A smile spread across her face and she glanced at Kai who already had a suspicion as to what was inside.
   "You kept yours too ? And you never told me ?”
   "I guess we are more in sync than any of us thought.“ she smiled at him. "Why do I think I love coconut cream pie so much ? I always hated it until -”
   ”- I smashed it on your face.“ he laughed. “You remember what I did after that?”
Y/N turned towards him licking his cheek , just like he had that day except back then there had been frosting there. Kai’s arms wrapped tighter around her and he knocked her onto the ground with him on top.
   "I claimed you as mine back then and now - “ he whispered smiling while trying not to wake up their daughter. ” - I can’t imagine where I’d be without you or Grace in my life.“
   "There would’ve been someone else you would’ve fallen for - ”
   "No.“ he said serious. "No , there never would’ve been anyone else. It’s you and only you and it was only ever going to be you.”
Y/N smiled at him pulling him down for a kiss. Six whole years together and Kai still took her breath away every single minute of every single day. That has never changed and it was never going to change.
   "It was only ever going to be you too.“ she whispered gazing into his eyes.

_________

    "Daddy , can I get a ride ?” said Grace jumping up and down on the bed , making the feathers from one of the ripped pillows on the floor float in the air. “Please please -”
   "Of course baby girl.“ Kai laughed , walking to the bed turning his back towards her. Grace hooked her hands around his neck and her legs around him with his help. Mr. Pebbles was lucky enough to get a piggy back ride downstairs too and Y/N couldn’t resist taking a picture of them laughing. Her dad let her sit on one of the chairs and started on the pancakes.
   "You are spoiling her.” she said wrapping her arms around him from behind. “What about me ?”
   "Awwh is someone jealous ?“ he turned towards her with an amused look on his face. "You do know you can get a ride whenever you want right ?”
Y/N shot him a warning glance and started laughing, glancing at their daughter while pouring herself a cup with coffee. Grace was sitting on the table playing with Mr. Pebbles – and by the looks if it they were having a tea party. It was absolutely incredible how big their baby girl’s imagination was. Sometimes she’d play all by herself for hours , doing puzzles or just having tea parties with all her toys.
   "Emily said that she is going to have a sister to play with soon.“ said Grace , looking up at her parents. "Can I get a sister too ?”
Y/N and Kai glanced at each other for a second while he kept flipping chocolate chip pancakes in the air. How do you explain a five year old that technically her father is not exactly alive and even if they wanted to - there was no way for her to have a brother or a sister. Their daughter was just starting to show her magical powers. That was hard enough to explain to her — and her kinder garden teachers.
A couple of days ago , a kid had tried to take Mr. Pebbles from her hands and Grace had somehow managed to send the kid flying across the playground. Kid had been fine , only a little startled but the teachers who had been watching them had to have their memories modified. Not to mention the floating in the air pencils or how Grace had somehow made her drawings move. Even Kai had hard time understanding how she had done that.
   "Um … We um – “ said Kai glancing at his wife shaking his head in confusion.
   "Some day maybe.” said Y/N smiling as she knelt on the ground next to their daughter. “We are just not ready to have a baby again just yet.”
   "Mommy ? How do you make a baby ?“ asked the little girl.
Y/N nearly dropped her coffee cup on the ground. Kai looked just as startled at her wondering what they are going to tell her. Surely kids her age start being curious but you can’t exactly explain them how mommy and daddy do all those naughty things and that’s how a bundle of joy shows up on this world.
   "We are dead.” whispered Kai quietly in Y/N’s ear. “What do we do ? What do we do ?”
   "Grab the peanut butter and jelly. I’ll think of something.“ she whispered back , failing in her attempt not to panic like Kai obviously had. Y/N tried to think back to the time her parents had that talk with her. Wait - had they had it or had it been more like learn as you go process ?
A sigh left her lips and she kept smiling at Grace.
Damn it. she thought. In that moment she regretted not having that talk with her parents, though considering how awkward she felt in that moment maybe it had been best that she hadn’t.
Kai quickly made Grace’s favourite PB&J sandwich , cutting out the crusts just like their daughter loved it and cutting it in two halves right after. Y/N rubbed her forehead with her thumb and index finger finishing on the pancakes as her mind kept spinning trying to find the answer.
   "C-can I borrow your phone?”  whispered Y/N , not taking her eyes off their daughter.
   "What for ?“ whispered Kai.
   "Just — give it.”
A sigh left his lips and he gave her his phone while playing with Grace to distract her. Their baby girl took a small bite from her PB&J , watching her dad with wide curious eyes , glowing like never before. Grace had the same blue eyes as him , except in every other aspect she was like her mother. Smart , perceptive and really really curious about things.
   "Can you have a baby now?“ she asked , her dad wiping some jelly off her chin with his thumb. Kai could hear his wife’s heart race increasing while trying hard to figure out what they are going to tell their daughter. He glanced at Y/N , almost able to see her mind churning and a smile spread across her face for a second when he reached for the crusts of the sandwich.
Thank you Google. she thought , glancing at Kai who was eating the crusts of the PB&J was one of the most adorable things ever. Somehow he always managed to get jam on his chin — and his fingers. Even after all those years he kept eating it as a finger food and there was no changing his mind about it.
   "Well , it takes months for a baby to grow from a seed from daddy and an egg from mommy joined together in a very special place called ‘womb’.That’s where the baby grows for 9 months before coming to this world.” said Y/N trying to look calm while her heart was trying to fight her way out of her chest. Kai wrapped his arms around her from behind , smiling at Grace who seemed a bit more interested in her PB&J now than in how to make babies. “So we can’t have a baby right now…”
   "Where are you going with this?“ he whispered.
   "I have no idea. You try it if you think its so easy.” she whispered back.
   "Um no.“
   "Sure , now you don’t want to -”
   "Where do you get the seeds and the eggs ?“
   "Your turn.” said Y/N taking a step away to get some pancakes. “What ?”
Kai sighed. “There is this special place in both mommy and daddy’s bodies and when mommy and daddy love each other very very much , they um — play a game and the rest happens as if by magic.”
Y/N closed her eyes unsure if she should laugh or glare at him. Technically the night they had made Grace they had played a game. Kai loved playing hide and seek with her and what they had done afterwards had been so magical , it was quite possible things had happened by magic.
   "Magic ?“ their daughter’s eyes lit up.
   "Yeah , it’s a very special , very magical game that mommy and daddy play -”
   "What kind of a game ?“ asked Grace taking another bite from her PB&J.
Y/N slipped down the kitchen counter almost chocking on her pancakes. Kai turned towards her and almost grinned at her shocked face. He was just about to toss the ball back to her when the phone rang from the other room.
   "I um – I’ll go get that.” she muttered leaving Kai to explain the ‘game’  to their daughter.
Kai tried to protest but it was too late - Y/N was already in the next room. How was he going to explain that to her ? There really wasn’t a way , not at this age anyways. He sighed , got his daughter her favourite pancakes and sat on the chair next to her.
   "It’s a special game you will figure out when you get older. Much older.“ he smiled at her. "C'mon , open your mouth. You will need lots of energy to play with your cousins.”

A couple of minutes later Grace ran out of the kitchen and Kai leaned against the door frame watching his wife talk on the phone with Caroline about the play date with his sister’s twinsies. Y/N turned around finding him there checking her out head to toe and he innocently pointed down at his boxers taking a slow step towards her.
   "Yeah so when are you coming to get her ? Ah-uh – “ she tried to focus but could barely utter a word.
   "Come on Y/N , lets play a game.” he pressed his lips against hers. “Lets go upstairs and make heretic babies - ”
  ‘No.’ she mouthed. “Yeah , I’ll tell her. Oh-kay , bye.”
Kai snatched her phone from her hands , tossing it on the couch near by while slowly backing her against the wall. His eyes were fixed on hers while his hands snaked from her waist to her ass pulling her towards him. He bit his lip leaning in closer to her , noticing how her heart rate had increased dangerously.
   "Fifteen minutes.“ she whispered. "Hold on for fifteen minutes until Caroline comes to pick up Grace for the play date at the Boarding School… and Kai , you know we can’t actually – you know.”
   "What if we can?“ he thought out loud. "You saw Grace’s face - she wants a sibling and there is Klaus… What if we have the same loophole ? I am part witch , you are a witch - ”
   "I am all in for another kid -“ she said watching Kai’s eyes lit up.” - but if we had that loophole , don’t you think we would’ve found out by now?“
Kai sighed. Thought had crossed his mind but right now he was even more determined to find out if maybe things could work out in their favour. There was a chance , however small and as always he wanted to give his little girl what she wanted. He couldn’t help but always wanting her to have everything.
   "You want this , I want this and Grace – I think she wants it more than both of us together. Did you see her eyes when she asked?”
   "Yeah , I did. They were literally glowing.“
   "Yes ! They were brighter than the sun - ” he smiled taking a step back a few seconds before Grace ran downstairs jumping directly into Y/N’s arms.
   "When are Lizzy and Josie coming ?“ asked their little daughter.
   "In 10 minutes. Come on , let’s go get you ready.” replied Y/N kissing her cheek.
Kai watched the two most important people walk upstairs and a smile spread across his face. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to have not one but two people in his life who love him unconditionally and except every part of him.
Not too long after that , Caroline showed up almost at the same time Y/N and Grace got downstairs. Kai hugged his little girl , making Caroline promise to take good care of his daughter during the day or else. Surprisingly after Kai and Y/N had gotten married and their daughter had been brought into the world , her friends had finally started seeing good in him. He wrapped his arms around his wife while both of them watched Caroline drive down the street for a few moments.
As soon as they walked inside and the front door closed , Kai placed his hands on either side of her head pressing his body against hers from behind. They were going to have the entire day all to themselves and he could barely wait. With Grace in the house they couldn’t really do what they wanted to do and now-
   "Come on Y/N.“ he whispered in her ear , his breath tickling her skin. "Let’s play hide and seek. You hide , I’ll seek.”
   "Five minute head start ?“
   "You can have 10 , I will still find you in 15 seconds.” he grinned , placing a wet kiss on her neck. “Go -”
Kai closed her eyes do he doesn’t see where she goes , listening to her footsteps going away and above. No , bellow. What would she be doing hiding in the wine cellar? He waited , listening in to her walking , semi running and a few moments later he heard her whisper.
   "Come and get me.“


MASTERLIST - SMUT
MASTERLIST - FLUFF

HEYO STAR WARS FAM! it’s me, calling from the other side. Lmao, I am so funny, rip. ANYWAY, there has been a LOT of negativity in the fandom lately and meanwhile, I am more than HAPPY that I do not have any part in it, I do see some of it on my dash. It makes me SAD &&. makes me think about how we used to be ( wow, cheesy ) when I joined, the fandom wasn’t like THIS but well, time never stops ( *fight the urge to athlete student meme this —* ). So, I know, I know - this post won’t change ANYTHING but I just wanted to do something to maybe cheer us all up a little. Negativity should not take over a fandom and should not be the reason people neglect their blogs. Have your Clique, have your faves as long as YOU feel comfortable because THAT is all that matters. And now, something bright &&. nice so yes, under the cut are some Positive Callouts!! happy reading and spread the positive vibes! 

xoxo Antonia

Keep reading

Fear

Word count: 4,941

*gif by me

Part 24

Your eyes started adjusting to a bright light in the room, all the colours intensifying as seconds passed. To your right was a person who had just given you a new chance in life, a person who has been your whole life and seeing him like that next to you, has made you feel a lot better even though a loud bumping invaded your head. You propped yourself up on sat on the bed, looking aeound and trying to rewind what had happened only a few minutes ago. A light touch was prssed on your back, slowly circling around, a pair of two worried eyes locked on you and your movements.

‘What happened?’ You somehow managed to mutter out, the entire room along with Kai, spinning a little bit, bur not for long. Everything became clear again. The only thing that was different and what have felt different was you.

'You passed out. You scared me, if I’m being honest. A lot.’ Kai chuckled and tried to hide how embarrassed he was, as if you were going to judge him for being just a little bit scared. 'How do you feel?’ A gentle and soothing voice escaped Kai’s body, slowly invading your ears, feeling like music to your sensitive body.

'Weak and good at the same time.’ You chuckled and ran your fingers through your hair, your throat feeling dry as never before. 'Weird. I don’t feel different. Maybe just a little bit.’

'The cure should have worked by now.’ Kai assured you, his hand still on your back as id he was encouraging you, but his touch felt very calming and it was stopping your heart from picking up its pace.

'There’s only one way to find out.’ Your fingers hesitantly started tucking at your sleeves, slowly folding it to reveal your wrist, your veins becoming visible to Kai’s eyes. It didn’t take him long to comprehend what you had planned, his eyes growing wide for a split second, not liking the idea as much as you did.

'No! I can’t do that.’ Kai trembled and sat on the edge od the bed, his feet placed firmly on the ground, his back the only part of his body visible to your eyes.

'Please, Kai. I’m not scared of you hurting me. I know you can do it.’ Almost a cry escaped your body, your lips trembled when you stopped talking as your heart suddenly started beating faster, making Kai’s eyes to meet yours again, his lips slightly ajar.

'I think, your heart over here’ he placed his hand on your chest, feeling every beat of your heart underneath his palm. 'Is trying to tell me something else. You’re terrified.’

'I’m not!’ You answered it faster and louder than you wanted, getting a little bit taken aback by your sudden interest of wanting Kai to drink your blood.

'I don’t want to hurt you in any way. Drinking your blood would break the promise I made with myself.’

'What kind of promise?’

'To never hurt you again.’ He trailed off and all of a sudden as if someone has thrown a lump into your throat, stopping you from swallowing normally and as if someone has taken all of the air from your lungs. A sudden need to let your tears out roamed through your body, your tears fighting to escaped your eyes but right at the last moment, you blinked them away and took the deepest breath and closed your eyes for a few seconds, processing Kai’s words. 'That is my promise.’

'Do it for me. I want you to. Please.’ You reached out your hand, Kai’s eyes locked on your wrist as he carefully watched how your blood collided through your veins in such a perfect rhythm. He placed his fingers on your wrist and gently traced them over your veins, his touch so gentle that you had barely felt it, as if he was scared of breaking you if he pressed his fingers a bit firmer on your skin. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on your wrist making your heart beat a little bit faster. You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling how soft it is under your touch, just as you memorized it and right at that moment, you felt Kai’s fangs slowly piercing your skin. Slight pain has traveled through your body, your eyes closing at the discomfort of his fangs shoved into your wrist, but a sudden euphoria in your whole body made you remember what it was like when you drank each others blood for the first time. It was a new experience for both of you, something that has brought you closer to one another like never before.

He slowly withdrew himself from your wrist, but when he looked up, narrow purple veins still adorned his beautiful face. You slowly placed your fingers on them and traced them, feeling them under your finger tips as Kai’s eyes closed to the feeling of your soft touch. Purple veins slowly disappeared from under his eyes, his face expression looking normal again, but somehow a hint of regret and pain was hidden in his face. He looked down at your wrist, watching how two small holes illuminated on your wrist, a small amount of blood finding it’s way to the surface.

'It’s not healing.’ You murmured while watching your small wounds not closing up as they used to.

'You’re human. I can’t heal you now.’

'I know. I don’t want you to. It shows that I’m a human again and if I’m being honest, I need this right now. I need to have these small wounds on my wrist as a sign that I’m human.’ His fingers traced over small holes, smudging the blood a little bit over your wrist. You winced slightly at a sudden burn feeling on your wrist, but a small found its way to your face. A single tear streamed down your face and dropped down on the bed sheets, creating a small wet spot. After a few minutes, it has finally hit you that you’re a completely different person out of the blue, that none of this was planned, your life about to change drastically, as you muttered out seriously. 'I’m human.’

'Yes, you are. My favourite human. Human that I will now protect with all my life.’ He pulled you into his arms, wrapping them tightly around your body, but still being careful not to wrap them too tightly, acting as if you were made out of glass.

'So, nothing is going to change. You’ve always taken care of me and protected me.’ His eyes met yours, his fingers gently brushing your cheek, feeling your warmth radiating out of your body and onto his finger tips. He chuckled, a sudden flush of happiness invading his body as he couldn’t take his eyes off you. His eyes were focused on your gentle face, watching how your lips curved more and more as your smile grew bigger or how your nose scrunched up when you smiled wider. It was those small things that he has always loved about you and that reminded him of how much he actually loves you.

'What?’ you chuckled and traced your palm over his jaw, his scruff tickling your palm.

'Nothing. I just- love watching you smile. I can easily say that it’s my aesthetic.’

'Oh really?’ You asked, amused by his words, but still felt about shy about it even though he has mentioned it to you before, a million times and you could easily say that his smile was your aesthetic. It has always made you happy just by seeing him smile and how adorable he looked everytime he brushed his arm with his hand whenever he laughed.

'Yes, really!’ He uttered and pulled you on his lap, your legs on each side of his body, his hands resting your waist as his fingers brushed your exposed skin, his touch making shivers roll down your spine. You leaned down and kissed him shortly, your thumb brushing over his bottom lip when you pulled away, a small smile flashing across your face.

'I have something for you.’ You jumped off the bed and cascaded to the mahagony table placed across the room and opened a drawer as you pulled something out of it, holding it against your chest. 'I wanted to give you this before, but, then I went all crazy and never actually had a chance to give it to you.’ You slowly walked over to him again and sat on the edge of the bed, handing him a single picture. He took it from your hands and suddenly got lost in his own mind as he couldn’t take his eyes off that picture. You and him adorned that picture, your lips pressed against his cheek, a big smile plastered on his face. It was summer and it was one of the happiest times you and Kai had. No worries, no problems, just you and him being happy with each other. Kai squinted his eyes a bit as he noticed a small detail on your lap.

'Is that a-’

'A teddy bear you have won for me that day. I was so bad at throwing rings but wanted to win that bear because it was cute, so you did it for me. I felt so happy that day, because I had everything I have ever wanted in my life. I felt as if I had everything, as if the whole world was mine.’ You dozed off and kept staring at one spot on the floor, suddenly Kai’s hand on your shoulder making you snap out of your thoughts and look at him.

'You still have everything. You have your old life back and bonus, you have me to take a good amount of your time by doing silly things.’ You chuckled and looked down at your fingers, thinking of how easier everything was before.

'I’m just so happy that you are here with me. That’s all I need.’

'I know.’ He smiled at you gently and effortlessly pulled you on the bed, your whole body laying on top of his as you placed both of your arms on his chest, your chin resting on top of them. 'I adore you so much. So much it hurts.’ His voice cracked at the end, making your smile slightly disappear from your face, replaced with a sudden dash of sadness. Your eyes illuminated with tears, but you somehow managed to blink them away. 'Don’t cry. Just smile, that’s the only thing I want. To see you smiling.’

'I love you a lot Kai. So much.’ You muttered into his chest, your fingers gripping on his shirt as you inhaled, his scent invading your nostrils.

'I love you too, doll.’

~

I woke up in the middle of the night, only moonlight shining through the window, blinding me for just a little bit. I rolled on the bed, turning my body to the other side and looked for her but she wasn’t there. I instantly looked over to the bathroom door, hoping to find a hint of light coming from underneath the doors, but the only thing I could see was pure darkness. I roughly pulled my body out of the bed, my feet pressed firmly on the cold wooden floor. I rubbed my eyes and walked out of the room, following the hallway all the way downstairs and into the living room that was lit up with fire burning nicely in the fire place. I yawned and suddenly jumped when i saw Stefan sitting next to the fire place.

'What are you doing up so late?’ I asked him, my voice raspy.

'I couldn’t sleep. Also, there’s a note for you right there on the table.’ He pointed his finger towards the table before dropping it down on his thigh again, fire illuminating in Stefan’s eyes. I walked over to the table and picked up a note, recognizing that handwriting immediately. I smiled and unfolded it as I started reading.

      'I’ll be right back. Went out to meet with Bonnie.
       Miss you already. xx’

'Did you see when she wrote that note?’ I asked as i turned to Stefan, waiting for his answer.

'A few hours ago. Maybe four, I’m not really sure, I-’

A loud knocking interrupted Stefan’s words, sudden loud bang of front doors hitting the wall echoing through the house. Bonnie stormed in and walked as fast as he could towards me, completely out of breath.

'Is she here?’ She blurted out and looked around, but quickly gave up and locked her eyes with mind.

'No, I thought that she’s with you.’

'She was, but she said she was leaving to get back home to you. That was two hours ago. I’ve been trying to call her but I keep getting her voice mail and you know ho she always answers her phone.’ Her words made me swallow hard and made my heart beat faster as thoughts of something bad happening to her invaded my mind, the thought of her getting hurt making my heart ache.

'She’s fine. She has to be fine. She’ll come running through those doors any minute, you’ll see.’ I uttered, only trying to assure myself that she’s fine. I had to because my thoughts were about to eat me alive.

'We can always go look f-’ at that moment, Bonnie’s phone rang. I have noticed how her fingers trembled when she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She answered the phone and only a minute later, sadness, worry, pain, maybe even regret took over her body, her phone dropping down on the floor.

'What is it? Bonnie? Tell me.’

'She-’

'What’s wrong?’ I grabbed her shoulders and yelled at her, her body jumping at a sudden sharp and loud change in my voice.

'She’s in a hospital. They are operating her right as we speak. She- she had an accident and she- she’s-’ I let her go, my eyes growing wide in a second as I let my arms fall next to my body, tears blurring my vision. I had no control over anything at that moment. I felt as if someone had stabbed my chest with a knife and twisted it a few times, getting deeper and deeper with every twist, getting closer to my heart. I had no air to fill my lungs with, I had no strenght to keep standing properly, no voice to cry out. I was in a complete shock and every word that came out of Bonnie’s mouth, sounded more like a muffle.

'I need to see her. Now.’

'Kai, you don’t know if you’ll be able to go to her-’ she grabbed my hand but I quickly yanked it away, anger finding it’s way into my body.

'I need to see her! You still don’t get it, do you? She’s my everything. The only thing that keeps me going through the day and the only person that it’s worth living for. I can’t- i can’t lose her, Bonnie. I will literally go fucking crazy if I lose her. I need her. I need my girl.

'I know you do, but what do you plan on doing when you get to the hospital? Scream her name? Look through every possible room in there to find her?’

'If that’s what’s going to take to see her, then yes. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.’ I snapped and ran upstairs to get dressed and not even a minute later, I was already at the front door, ready to leave when I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Caroline giving me a sympathetic look, a brief smile appearing on her face.

'We’ll go with you.’ I looked around and saw Damon, Bonnie, Stefan and even Elena, all ready to go with me to the hospital. I felt a little bit relieved that I had some support and someone who could calm me down if needed, but panic was still there in my body. Panic that I’ll never see her again and it was eating me alive.

'Thank you.’ I muttered quietly and looked down at my fingers before placing my hands into the pockets of my jacket, sudden coldness running through my body even though there was no sign of the wind or any obvious cold. The thought of her being wounded and alone right now made me shiver with pain and fear.

~

There was no one in the waiting room except us. Only a few nurses walking by me and making me even more nervouse. Hours have passed and still there was no news on how she is or if she made it. I hated the thought of someone walking through the doors and telling me that she didn’t make it. My world would crash down in a split second, everything around me would somehow lost all the meaning, but I quickly shook that thought off my mind and burried my head in my hands, trying to calm down my heartbeat and my breathing.

'How are you feeling?’ I jumped at the sudden gentle voice, making me snap out of my thoughts.

'I’m fi- I’m not fine. I can’t stop shaking, my heart is beating so fast that I feel like it will jump out of my chest. I feel like someone is torturing me and as if there is a giant rock on my chest, stopping me from breathing.’ I tried to take a deep breath, but I couldn’t.

'You should get some fresh air and-’

'No. I’m- I’m staying here just in case someone comes to let us know about her. I’m staying here.’ I muttered decisively and broke eye contact with Bonnie, getting lost in my thoughts again. 

 'If you need anything, we’re here. Ok?’ I simply nodded and placed my head in my hands agains, running my fingers roughly through my hair. I was getting tired, my eyes were closing every time pure silence echoed through the waiting room. I could barely keep my body straigh up, but I refused to give up. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere before seeing her and making sure she’s ok. 

 'Bonnie Bennett?’ A male voice echoed through the room, making me jump up to my feet. 

 'Yes?’

 'You’re her sister?’ He asked, but kept staring at some papers that were laying in his hands, the sound of papers rustling against one another driving me completely crazy. 'She’s stable for now. She had a skull fracture on the front of her head, I assume because of the way she fell. Her left leg broke in two places, one of her lungs was punctured because of her broken ribs, but we managed to get it all fixed. We’ll monitor her every hour to make sure that everything is fine, but for now, there’s no need to worry.' 

 All of the words started circling around in my mind, processing everything she has been through, suddenly everything around me going quiet, numb and plain as I couldn’t breathe anymore. I placed my hand on the wall for support, trying to catch a breath, fighting to breath normally, but it only caused my tears to flow to the surface. 

 'I need to see her.’ I muttered and started walking rapidly but the doctor stopped me, his hand firmly on my chest. 'Please, I need to see my girlfriend. I need-’

 'Now not. She needs her rest, give her some time and then you can go and see her.’

 'Take me to her room!’ I yelled, his body going still as I compelled him, not even a second later his body turning around and walking forward, my legs taking me as fast as possible, following him. He slowly opened the doors and let me in, closing the doors behind me. I swallowed hard and slowly walked towards her, her weak body slowly visible to my sight. I placed my hand on my mouth and started crying, trying to muffle my cries but seeing her like that has only made me weaker, my legs and my whole body feeling as if it would give up on me any second. She looked so pale, her beautiful skin looking pale and lifeless, her body as still as never before. I was scared to get closer because I knew that I couldn’t take it anymore, I knew I would break down completely if I saw her like that up close. I crouched down and burried my head in my hands, letting all the tears out, my mind torturing me. I was blaming myself for that. If I hadn’t given her the cure, she would have been fine, I could have seen her beautiful eyes and their sparkle in my mind, but right then, the only thing I could saw were her closed eyes and her body so still. 

 'I can heal you. Yes.’ I whispered and got up, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. I slowly got closer, my hand slightly brushing against hers, making shivers roll down my spine because of how cold she was. I blinked my tears away and took a deep breath as I sank my fangs into my own wrist, causing blood to reach the surface.

 'It won’t work.’ I quickly glanced towards the doors and saw Damon with his arms crossed, his eyes a bit puffy.

 'It has to.’ I kept reassuring myself, but deep down I knew that he was right.’

 'You know it won’t. She has a cure colliding through her veins. As long as that’s inside her body, she can’t be healed or turned into a vampire. It’s on her now, she’s deciding if she’ll wake up or let herself go.’ I looked at her and closed my eyes for a few seconds, tears slowly rolling down my cheeks and dropping down on the bed.

 'Why is she so cold? She is supposed to be warm, with her cheeks flushed and with- with a smile on her face.’ I stuttered and knelt beside the bed, my hand holding tightly onto hers, her cold fingertips sending shivers down my spine.

 'I know and soon she will be. She will make it, I know it.' 

 'It hurts so much.’ I whispered and placed my head on the bed, my body shaking from all the pain and my crying. I couldn’t stop, I thought that I would burst into million pieces, as if my body was about to explode.

 'I know.’

 'Do you think she will come back to me?' 

 'She will. She loves you more than you can ever imagine and I know it’s you who’s keeping her so strong, who helped her to get through all of these hard times.’

 'I need to get out of here.’ I managed to lift myself up off the floor and stop my tears from falling down as I fixed my hair and wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. 

 'Where are you going?’ Damon asked and placed his hand firmly on my chest, stopping me for taking any more steps. My brows furrowed as I looked at him in confussion, my body fighting to leave the room as soon as possible, my lungs craving for some fresh air and some alone time to think about everything.

 'I want to be alone right now, I- I can’t stay here any longer because I will lose my mind!’ I raised my voice a little bit, a dash of anger roaming through my body as Damon stepped back, allowing me to walk through the doors. I walked out of the hospital as fast as I could, fresh breeze hitting my face, my lungs finally filling up with fresh air, but that feeling of a rock on my chest was still there and it felt as if it was tearing my heart into million pieces. Pain was too strong and I couldn’t bare it anymore. After a few minutes, I found myself in a dark alley, all alone until a girl walked into it, her arms strongly wrapped around her body, as if she was protecting herself from the cold breeze filling up the air. She looked me in the eyes and kept walking, but as I had no control over my actions, I grabbed her body tightly and sank my fangs into her neck, draining her of her blood, warm liquid slowly trickling down my throat. I got lost in that euphoria, the adrenalin that collided through my bones as I felt her body getting weaker and weaker, but before I could finish, someone punched me in the face, making me fly a few feet away from the girl, my back hitting the dark and wet street. I got up and saw Damon, feeding the girl his blood and compelling her to run away.

 'What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ Damon asked, looking pissed as never before, slowly approaching me, his knuckles turning white from squeezing his fist too much. 

 'Feeding. Don’t pretend like you care.’ I snapped at him, wiping the blood off my chin with my sleeve.

 ‘I do care.’

 'No, you don’t, Damon!’ I yelled, anger and grief taking over my body completely. 'Only- only she did.’ I stuttered and cried out, fighting my body from making me weak again, trying to stop myself from crying.

 'And you think that this is what she would have wanted for you to do? To feed on an innocent girl while she’s in a hospital, fighting for her life.’ His words have hurt me more than I expected. Deep down I knew he was right. I left her all alone in there, wounded just to go feed on some random girl. This wasn’t me and I knew it, but every particle in me wanted to scream and kill.

 'I can’t help it! I can’t take the pain anymore!’ Tears have finally found their way to my cheeks, my lips and hands trembling as I kept talking.

 'I know how-’

 'No, you don!’ I have never felt this much pain in my life and I- I don’t know how to make it go away. I just don’t know.’ I ran my fingers through my hair and slightly pulled at the ends. 'This is all my fault. I gave her the cure. She’s in there because of me.’

 'You gave the cure to give her the life she wanted! It’s not your fault! You couldn’t have possibly known that this would happen.' 

 'I should have let her go, when I had the chance. I’m only hurting her. The only person that loves me with all her heart.’

 ‘You’re stupid if you think that she would ever let you run away or let her go.’ Damon yelled and crossed his arms, as I could see how furious he was. 

 'The things she said to Bon-’

 'She didn’t mean it! She told you that herself, why are you-’ he sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his hair roughly as he rubbed his forehead in frustration. 'You’re not thinking clearly. She needs you right now, more than anything and more than she ever did in her life. You need to be by her side, take care of her, make sure that she’s breathing because that’s what a person who loves their significant other does. You know I’m right.’

 'I need her too. I need her to be happy again, to see her smiling and talking, but, right now I- I can’t think of anything else than her in that damn bed, still and no signs of life.’

 'I know you believe in her and I know that you’ll do everything to bring her back.’

 'I will, but right now, I need to be alone.’ I trailed off and ran off, my feet touching the ground as fast as possible, cold breeze caressing my tears stained cheeks. I had so much anger and pain built up in me and I wanted to scream and let it all out, fill the air with my cries, but I couldn’t get myself to do that. 

 I walked into her house, all the rooms filled with darkness and void, furniture placed just the way she left it. I looked around the living room and traced my fingers over a dark coloured table, smooth varnish underneath my fingertips. I smiled briefly and grabbed one glass and looked at the details that adorned a beautiful glass before I threw it into the wall as hard as I could, watching it get shattered against the wall, small pieces falling on the wooden floor. I screamed and threw another one before burrying my fist into the table multiple times, breaking it in half and winced in pain as small wooden pieces pierced my skin and got stuck between my knuckles. 

I started laughing at my own silly behaviour and before I could even process what I just did, I started crying and dropped down on the floor, burrying my head in my hands as I let my tears out once more, staining my shirt.

 'I’m sorry… I’m really sorry!’ I cried out and ran my fingers through my hair, feeling my body getting weaker as seconds passed. I looked up and saw the same picture she gave me just a few hours ago, her smile making me smile briefly. 'I miss you so fucking much already. I want you back.’ I whispered, my eyes closed. 'I just want you back, please come back to me baby.’

Dear JonBenet,

I have been missing you for six years now, and seeing your face on television and sometimes in the papers, I wish I could talk to you. We had such happy times together – in your pink bedroom, in your garden, all through your house. Although I was a couple of years older than you (your mom being pregnant with Burke when my mom was pregnant with me) I always liked playing with you best. You were funny and smart and liked ice cream as much as I did.

Do you remember how my mom taught us, at the Boulder Salad place, when we were spooning the ice cream into our cones, to tap the cones halfway through to make the ice cream sink so we could get more in? That was the last time we saw each other and it was such a good time. After you were gone, my mother asked if I thought you were missing ice cream. I said right away, “Mom, there’s ice cream in heaven.” I hope I was right.
I sure wish you were with me now that we’re teenagers. True, you wouldn’t be quite 13, but you seemed older than your years. Even when I knew you, you were never just this little kid running around. You always had plans, some project or other, something to do. I was never bored when I was with you. Now we could be going to Pearl Street Mall, two blondes together, and beyond hating the blond jokes. (You never got old enough to hate the blond jokes like I did.)

We could hang out on campus and look at what the college girls wear. When I was the age you’d be now, there was a big production of The Nutcracker. Sometimes I’d go and watch the rehearsals. You would have been one of the dancers, I bet.

I know you loved Christmas and the Pearl Street Mall is so pretty now with all of the lights. There’s another mall to go to now, too, as big as a town itself, with its own streets. I love it when my mom takes me there. You can get everything cool there, like at Abercrombie & Fitch, American Eagle, Polo and Ralph Lauren. At least those are what I like. There’s all of these new styles. You wouldn’t be old enough probably, to start asking your mom if you could have you bellybutton pierced, like I just did. And, of course, she said absolutely not! Maybe you’d say “Yuck!” Me, too, a couple of years ago. But now it seems ok, even cool.
And remember how we’d tease your brother all of the time?
“Let’s go bother Burke,” you’d say. And so we would go in his room where he was playing his Nintendo endlessly and unplug his computer. And then he would say “Heck, I was at the highest level!” And we would run away, go into your bathroom and lock the door, and he would be banging on it and we would be giggling behind it.

I’m so sad that you can’t be here to watch your brother grow up and change. Like my brother Matthew was distant for awhile and how he’s my friend and takes me to his classes at CU sometimes. He’s gong ot be an astrophysicist. I wonder what Burke is doing now.

The last time I saw him we were at Dougie’s house and he was so sad and grieving and hardly could talk from missing you. I wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t.

That last year you had a pink Christmas tree in your room. There were Christmas trees in every room of your house, all with presents under them, and I was tempted to be jealous because in our house we had only one Christmas tree for everybody.

But I didn’t really feel like being jealous because you always shared everything. If there was one cookie left, you would split it and give the biggest half to me. I really loved you for being kind and generous always.
You would have been such a good friends to me now in this kind of difficult time of learning to drive and all of that.
Maybe you would have been wanting to go to Boulder High like I do. I’d be telling you about all of these neat classes, like my catering class. We learned to make snickerdoodles at first and then we learned how to make Thanksgiving dinner. And the team sports. I did softball starting last summer and now I’m on the swim team.

You would be great at team sports becaue you always got along with everybody. You would still be too young for boyfriends (and wouldn’t need them!) and we would talk about sthat stuff. I miss you. You were so funny and always thought of things to do that might tick off the parents.

You would really love the Harry Potter books because they are full of magic. The Harry Potter movies are good, too. And maybe you’d like Eminem’s rap music and the movie 8 Mile. And concerts at Chataugua (a local park) And quieter things, like walks at Chataugua at sunrise with the dogs. Some things don’t change, like the Boulder Christmas Star, which has been lit for several weeks now, high on the hill that we could see from both our houses. Maybe you are looking at it now from above at least our eyes can meet there.

I know you loved your life and I loved your life too. And knowing how much you loved yours, I must love mine the more. I will always be thinking of you and hoping you have ice cream in heaven. I know you are an angel there and someday I will be with you.

The clouds will be pink like the walls of your room and we will be laughing together and looking forward, and back, and not missing each other anymore.

Love forever,
Your friend, Lindsey

Fear

Word count: 2,953

Part 23

*gif by me

‘I- I don’t know, I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t feel- happy.’ She muttered, a smile disappearing from Bonnie’s face.

'You’re not happy with Kai?’ She asked.

'I think so. Don’t get me wrong, I love him with all my life, I really do, but I would give anything to have my old life back where everything was normal. Sort of. Life where I was a witch, having fun with learning all the new spells or hanging out with you guys. It felt like something that would last forever, but somehow I just don’t feel it anymore.’ She trailed off. It felt like someone just shoved a stake into my heart and twisted it a couple of times. Her words hurt more than I expected, but then again, I wasn’t too surprised because she meant the world to me and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. My life without her would be plain, boring, with nothing to hold on to and I needed her by my side. She has been my rock since the very beginning and losing that rock would make me walk easily in any direction that looked appealing, a direction that would maybe change me into the man I used to be. I swallowed hard and kept listening to them, trying to burry the words that hurt my entired body, causing the most aching to my heart. She wasn’t happy with me anymore. All this time I thought that I was doing everything right, trying to keep her happy, taking care of her in every way possible, but at the end, none of that mattered anymore. There was one thing she was right and the one thing that has been going through my mind the entire time, from the moment I laid my eyes on her. She deserved someone much better than me. Someone who wouldn’t keep getting her life in danger and that’s exactly what I have been doing. I hurt her so many times, the first meeting between us, being the first time I laid my hand on her as I siphoned her magic. I would do anything to change what I did to her but I was also incredibly happy, because she forgave me.

'Did you tell him?’ Bonnie asked as I tried to hold back the tear that was forming in my eye, a small lump suddenly finding its way inside my throat.

'No, I- I can’t hurt him like that.’

'You have to. I know how you feel about him, but you’ll hurt him even more if you keep pretending that you’re happy. I’m sure he would understand.’ Bonnie trailed off. I swallowed hard and kept looking down at my feet, processing the words that just came out of the girl I love with all my heart. I wanted to slowly walk into the room and talk to her, ask her to tell me everything that has been bothering her, I wanted to be there for her, but I knew that the best thing for her was if she could have somehow get her old life back.

I slowly and quietly walked downstairs, being very careful so they couldn’t hear me, not even my breathing as I walked into the big living room, an older furniture placed neatly all around the room. I found Damon sitting on the sofa next to the fireplace with a drink in his hand, a warm light from the fire illuminating his face and making the bourbon in his glass look as if there were stars swimming inside it.  I approached him and insecurely sat down on the couch in front of him, crossing my arms as I couldn’t stop shaking my leg from being too nervous and trying to find the right words, how to begin and ask him probably the biggest favour, a man who hated me and probably still does.

'We need to talk.’ I managed to speak up and looked at Damon as my hands started to shake, unsure if he would be willing to help me.

'I’m listening.’ Damon muttered.

'I want to- I want to compell her. I want her to forget about me and everything I did. I want to erase myself from her mind so she-’ Kai stuttered and stopped, a tear escaping my eye, my emotions suddenly flooding to the surface. 'So she doesn’t have to be unhappy. I want her to be happy and to be free. To have… a normal life again, where she could do what she always loved to. Making leaves fly, changing flowers, enjoying her magic and the only way for that to happen is if she forgets that I ever existed. It will be better for her.’ I trailed off and ran my fingers through my hair, thinking twice if this was exactly what I wanted. Damon rolled his eyes at me and shook his head before he placed an empty glass on the table.

'What is up with you guys and having the urge to compell people’s memories away?’ Damon asked, complete annoyance in his voice.

'You did it once and it didn’t go very well, did it? I want her to be happy ok? I love her and the only thing I can do is to give her what she wants.’ I trailed off, looking directly at Damon. 'You didn’t see how happy she looked when she showed me one of her favourite ways of using magic. How she placed her hand above a rose that used to be full of colour, but suddenly lost all of her petals. She moved her hand around and that same rose became beautiful again. The smile on her face was the most beautiful and the most precious thing I have ever seen in my life and frankly, I would love to see it again.’ I trailed off and a small smile flashed across my face for a split second before it disappeared again, replaced with sadness and worry.

'And what exactly does she want?’

'She wants to be a witch again. She wants her old life back and I can give her that if-’

'You can’t. Compulsion won’t make her a witch again. She’ll remain a vampire but without her memories of you. Is that what you want?’ Damon uttered, crossing his arms, leaning back a little bit, his back pressing against the soft sofa. He kept a serious face, waiting for my answer and as if he was studying my face expression.

'I would be the happiest man alive if she could keep her memories of me, of all the things we went through together, even the bad ones. That’s life, I guess. I would be devastated if she just forgot about me. I was a big part of her life after all.’ I let out a deep sight, my fingertips brushing over my knuckled as my fingers somehow dug deeply into my skin, leaving small marks on my palm. I relaxed a little bit and snapped out of my mind, focusing on what Damon had to say.

'Then go out there and look for the damn cure, if that’s what you want the most and I know her, maybe more than anyone, I know that she will never forget it. She will forever be grateful and you should always remember that. Ok?’ Damon uttered, his face expression serious, maybe a dash of worry splashed across his face. By his words, I was finally able to see how much she meant to him, how much she wanted her to be happy, just as I did.

'Why are you helping me all of a sudden? You wanted to kill me.’ I asked quietly, my fingers intertwined with one another, my cold fingertips ocassionally touching my palms, making shivers roll down my spine.

'I don’t know man, she’s like family to me. I want to help her and if you really want her to be a witch again, you know what to do. The cure.’ He said quietly and tapped his fingers on the arms of the sofa, a small hint of smile visible on his lips.

'You mean, a cure for vampirism? Is that a thing?’ I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confussion and curiousity, a dash of hope colliding through my body.

'It is a thing, even though you might have to travel somewhere far from here to get it. If you manage to recieve it, you will get what you want. What she wants and hopefully, she will be happy just as she planned to be, except she won’t be able to become a vampire ever again or be healed with vampire blood.  She will be just as before.’

'That’s what I want.’ I stood up and was ready to take a step away from Damon, but he gripped my arm strongly, causing me to turn around.

'If you give her the cure, make sure she’s ok.’

'I will. Always.’ I tapped Damon on his shoulder and smiled. Oh and, please don’t let her leave before I come back.’

'She’s going to wait for you, don’t worry.’

'Thanks man.’

Kai trailed off and stormed out of the house, taking the car as he drove off to the exact place where he could find what he was looking for. Your happines was all that Kai wanted and he was prepared for everything. Everything it takes to keep you by his side and that would happen if you got your old life back.

2 days later

You walked up and down in your room with a hair brush in your hands, your fingers slightly tapping the handle, nervousness traveling through your body because there was no sign of Kai for the last two days and you definitely weren’t used to it. He has always been right there by your side whenever you needed him or when he needed you. It didn’t matter that two days ago you told Bonnie how you don’t feel as happy with Kai as you did before, you still loved him and wanted to be sure he was ok.He was your first true love, the first person who believed in you and was there for you when no one else was and you couldn’t just let that go so easily.

'If you keep walking like this, you’ll make a hole in the floor. Damon’s going to be so pissed.’ You stopped tapping your fingers and stared into the wall for a few seconds before you finally turned around. Kai’s tall figure was leaned against the door frame, his famous smirk splashed on his face while his hands were tucked into the pockets of his pants. You had no idea what to do. Your body was completely frozen as if someone has put a spell on you and as if someone has kicked all of the air out of your lungs.

'I- Shit.’ You muttered and finally managed to find the strenght to move, your legs and every particle in your body carrying you towards Kai without any hesitation, dying to wrap your arms around him as if you hadn’t seen him in months. His arm wrapped around your waist while the other one laid gently on the back of your neck, pressing your head into his chest, your arms gripping around his body. 'I’m so sorry, Kai. For what I said, I- I know you heard what I said to Bonnie.’

'How do you- Damon!’ Kai rolled his eyes and bit his bottom lip.

'I- Shit.’ You muttered and finally managed to find the strenght to move, your legs and every particle in your body carrying you towards Kai without any hesitation, dying to wrap your arms around him as if you hadn’t seen him in months. His arm wrapped around your waist while the other one laid gently on the back of your neck, pressing your head into his chest, your arms gripping around his body. 'I’m so sorry, Kai. For what I said, I- I know you heard what I said to Bonnie.’

'How do you- Damon!’ Kai rolled his eyes and bit his bottom lip as you looked up, your eyes meeting his. He gently brought his hand up to your face and tucked a small lock of hair behind your ear, his touch so gentle and warm against your skin, making you realize how you would have never been able to spwnd your days without him, because your heart really was beating for him only.

'I don’t know why I said it. I- I do miss my old life but, you are what’s the most important to me and I would like it to stay that way.’

'It’s ok, you don’t need to apologize for it. I get it why you said that. It did hurt but, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy, even if that includes us having to be seperated.’

'We don’t have to.’ You cupped his face and brushed your thumb over his bottom lip and his cheek, his scruff slightly tickling your fingertips. 'I will follow you to the end of the world if I have to.’ Kai chuckled and looked away for a split second before his eyes met yours again. 'I will do anything to keep you in my life and not having to be afraid of losing you every time I do something stupid that might push you away from me.’

'You are never going to do anything that will push me away from you. Not even if you decided to become an emotionless vampire again, I’ll be there for you and bring you back every damn time and I will do anything to make you happy. That’s why-’ he took out a small black box out of his pocket, hesitating a little bit, somehow feeling unsure if he should give it to you, but he eventually did place it in your hand, resting lightly against your palm. 'I got you this.’

'Kai- what-’ you swallowed hard, your hands slightly shaking because for some reason, a dash of fear invaded your body, but got replaced by happiness.

'Just open it.’

You walked over to your bed and sat down, Kai following your steps as his hand rested on your back, rubbing small circles in it. Your fingers trembled, slowly opening the box, only for your eyes to see a small capsule filled with red fluid. Once you realized what was in front of your eyes, you quickly looked at Kai who had the biggest smile on his face, but that smile slowly faded away when he saw a tear streaming down your face.

'Hey, hey! What’s wrong?’ He asked, concern in his voice.

'A cure… you brought me a cure for vampirism?’

Kai looked at you befuddled, his brows furrowing as he was expecting a different reaction from you. A reaction that would show how delighted you were because you would get what you wanted from the moment you became a vampire.

'Yes, I- I thought that’s what you wan-’

You interrupted him with a deep and passionate kiss. A kiss filled with lust and fear but also such love for each other, your lips colliding together as if both, you and Kai were scared of losing the other half if you pulled back. You hugged him tightly, your head burried in his chest, staining his shirt with your tears, his fingers brushing through your shiny hair, giving you comfort.

'You want me to become human again?’ You said quietly, your voice shaky from crying, your lips plump from all the tears that touched them.

'I want you to be what you want to be. A witch. I want to give you a chance for your old life. A life where you were happy and didn’t regret for all the choices you made, where your tears were replaced with your chuckles and your smile that always lit up the room. I want you to be happy.’ He trailed off and kissed away your tears, his lips brushing against yours a few times, getting a taste of your tears.

'As long as you’re with me, I’m happy, you know that.’

'I do, but this way, you can have everything you want.’

'Is that why you were gone for two days?’ His hand rested on your waist, his fingers brushing against your bare skin.

'Yes.’

'You didn’t have to do that.’

'I would do everything for you. For my girl. Because I love you more than anything.’ His words cut deep into your mind, making your tears flow to the surface even more, slowly rolling down your cheeks.

'I love you so much, Kai. I always have and ways will. Remember that.’

'Always.’ He pulled you in for a gentle kiss, his fingers wiping away your tears. You took a deep breath and calmed yourself down a little bit before you reached into the small box and picked up a small capsule. You held it in your hand and kept observing it, as if it was some foreign object and needed more studying just so you could be sure that it will do you no harm. You lifted your head up and looked at Kai who’s eyes were focused on you, carefully watching your every move.

'Ok.’ You broke the top, revealing the red liquid as you brought it to your lips, letting it trickle down your throat and into your body. Not even after a few minutes, your head started aching and you didn’t even have the chance to speak up as your vision went blurrier with each second, Kai disappearing from your sight. The only thing that was in front of you was pure darkness. 

So here it is, first place! The story ‘Bewitched’ by @all-i-need-is-destiel!

Wow! I’m a big fan of witch!Cas, that’s no secret, but this story was truly wonderful and enchanting! Aside from fluffy, it was cleverly funny, and of course the amazing friends-to-lovers trope was the cherry on top!

I’m not following you yet, which means that aside from this promo, you will get a follow back from me! Everyone who’s interested should check out more of your writing; there are links on the sidebar of the blog to both a masterpost and AO3, so that people can easily navigate. 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, and congratulations on being the winner of the promo contest! 

It’s not easy to be friends with a witch.

Dean learned this the uncomfortable way when he entered Castiel’s home for the first time, totally oblivious and naive, and immediately got cuddled fiercely by the coat rack while the portrait of some bearded Shakespeare dude on the opposite wall watched with a gleeful expression and warned Dean at the same time in an amused voice to keep away from the refrigerator, since it tended to eat people wholly and only ever return the shoes of its victims.

Castiel, however, didn’t appear to be impressed by any of this and reassured Dean that Shakespeare was fond of lying simply out of boredom, and that the refrigerator only occasionally liked to nibble at people, not eat them.

Dean just took it with a dumbfounded face and asked for some coffee, hoping against all odds that the coffeemaker wouldn’t like to chat or grope him as well.

(Futile at last since that stupid machine told Dean just two minutes later that he was a “pretty boy”, and tried to smack his ass with its cord.)

Dean recalls quite vividly how overwhelmed he had felt back then. Granted, he heard about witches and their crazy powers, but before that, he didn’t encounter quite that many. Only the nice lady with the herb shop around the corner who offered everyone her stale cookies, and a family from the edge of town that liked to stay by themselves.

And then Castiel moved into the house across the street with his talking furniture, his ugly car, his cat familiar named Douglas and – most importantly – with the bluest eyes in existence.

And from that moment, everything changed.

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Bipolar beauty.

Summary: You’re Jesus’s sister and suffer with bipolar. You move to Alexandria so Denise can help you but you find what you need from someone unexpected.
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of bipolar, self harm and mental health.
A/N: Everyone’s mental health effects them in different ways, I used my own experience with bipolar for this story.

Pacing around on the porch of Ricks house, you bit your thumb nervously. Your brother Jesus was asking Rick and his group if you could stay in Alexandria so Denise could help you, as she knew more about psychology than normal medicine. You had bipolar, you weren’t diagnosed until you were in your early 20s, but you’d suffered long before then. After a crap tonne of different medication, you found one that actually helped. It didn’t take it away, but it made your mood swings lessen and not cycle as fast, it was the rapid cycles you struggled to deal with. Like right now. Two days ago you were depressed, Jesus found you hurting yourself, now you were struggling with mania. And not the good or productive kind. Sometimes you’d find your manic side was a walker slaying beast, no fear and kick ass. You would come up with the best plans and strategies for things, you were unstoppable. But times like this, you were plagued with the voices of loved ones you lost, telling you that you didn’t do enough to help. You’d hear your father, tormenting you like he did when you were small. You found yourself talking to the voices out loud which always resulted in weird looks and people thinking you were crazy. All you felt was anxiety and irritation. You couldn’t keep still and had a million thoughts running through your brain.

Jesus came out and saw you, he gave you a sympathetic smile. He was used to dealing with you by now, but he still didn’t understand it. And ever since you ran out of meds he has been trying his hardest to help.
“You can stay. Denise said she’s going to get a care plan ready for you, trying therapies and things since we cant get hold of your meds now.” He said putting his arm round you, leading you inside.
“I’m staying for dinner, then I’ve got to head back. Carol said she would show you the room and help you get settled.” You really liked Carol, you liked them all in Alexandria. They were good people and they welcomed you with open arms. You nodded at him and went inside. Everyone was scattered about eating their food, Jesus went and sat with Rick.
“Thanks for letting me stay and stuff Rick.” You smiled at him whilst grabbing a plate of food.
“Don’t mention it, I’m glad we can try to help.” He smiled warmly.
You looked around and there wasn’t much space to sit, you saw Daryl sat on the floor so you went over and sat near him. He was a nice guy, just a little quiet. But that’s not a bad thing when the voices in your head won’t shut the fuck up. He smiled at you when you sat down, and you returned the gesture. You started to eat, but all you could hear was your dad, telling you how worthless you are, and the usual shit he would say before beating the shit out of you. You started feeling angry, your dad was pissing you off.
“Go the fuck away!” You hissed whilst smacking the side of your head. Daryl looked at you shocked, he knew of your problems but never really witnessed it like this before. He had seen the good manic side, not this.
“Y’alright?” He asked concerned. You looked at him embarrassed that he saw you.
“Yeah, I think I just want to go to bed.” You said sadly. You scanned the room for Carol but couldn’t see her.
“I can show ya yer room? Mines next to yers.” He offered with a small smile. You nodded and he helped you up.

That night you couldn’t sleep. It was getting worse, the voices wouldn’t stop, it was getting too much. You were pacing up and down your room and arguing with your dad, well your dad’s voice. You were unintentionally sobbing, not really realising you were crying. You were too lost in the darkness of your own mind to notice that you weren’t being quiet. Daryl was trying to sleep but he could hear you. He figured you were having some sort of nightmare, he could hear you crying and muttering things. He tried to ignore it but it went on for what felt like forever, so he got up and went to your room. He opened the door expecting you to be asleep in bed, so he was shocked to see you up and pacing around whilst talking to yourself. He didn’t know what to do or say, he felt sorry for you, being tormented like this. You turned around and saw him, you weren’t embarrassed this time, you were too far gone to care.
“Make them stop!” You begged as you rushed to him and sobbed into his chest. He tensed at first but then relaxed, wrapping his arms around you as you continued to cry.
“S’alright y/n, I’m here now.” He tried to soothe rubbing your back. You tried to calm your breathing down and the longer you stayed with Daryl, the quieter the voices seemed to get. You looked at him, wondering how he was able to make the voices stop. He wiped away your tears and gave you a weak smile.
“C’mon, ya gotta sleep.” He said softly, he lead you to the bed and lay you down.
“Will…will you stay with me? Please?” You asked shyly. He bit his lip as he thought about it, he wasn’t the comforting type and he didn’t even know you that well, yet he felt compelled to help you. He nodded and got into bed with you. You snuggled into him as you lay your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you.
“How did you do it?” You asked, moving your head to look at him.
“Do what?” He questioned looking confused.
“Make the voices stop. You made them go away.” You said softly. He didn’t say anything but held you tighter. He didn’t know what to say but he felt good that he was able to help you. You both ended up drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

When you woke up you were disappointed to see Daryl wasn’t there, you would have thought it was a dream if it wasn’t for the fact the pillow smelt of him. As the day progressed the voices got louder, you just wanted Daryl but he was out hunting. Denise stopped by and went through the care plan with you, you were happy with what she put together and you would start tomorrow. After she left you were on your own, the voices went away, but they were replaced by a suffocating depression. Your mood had cycled again, the switch was flipped. It felt like someone was sat on your chest, you struggled to breathe. The sadness was overwhelming and you found yourself sobbing on the sofa for hours. You went upstairs and sat on the bed, eyeing your knife. You needed something, you needed a release, and this was all you had. You got undressed and put an oversized shirt on and clean panties, you sat back down with your knife in hand and started to cut at the top of your thigh. The relief was instant, you felt like you could breathe again, but you knew it would be short lived. The shame kicked in as you sat there, staring at the blood. You felt weak and pathetic. You sat there retreating back in your own mind, you didn’t hear the footsteps, you didn’t hear the door open, hell you didn’t see the shocked Hunter staring at you from the doorway. You just stared vacantly at the was opposite. Daryl rushed to you, kneeling in front of the bed at your legs.

“Y/n, what the fuck d’ya do?!” He asked harshly as he grabbed a top from the floor and pushed it to your thigh to stop the bleeding. You could hear him but you were too far into yourself to reply or even move.
“Y/n?” He asked concerned, he looked into your vacant eyes and knew something wasn’t right.
“Can ya hear me?” He questioned as he grabbed your face with his spare hand and made you look at him. He was looking into your eyes, searching for something.
“Fuckin’ shit.” He mumbled to himself. He was panicking, he didn’t know what to do or what was wrong. He wanted to get Denise but he didn’t trust you to be on your own at the moment, so he grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and cleaned and dressed your cuts to prevent infection. All the while you were just sat there vacant. He took a deep breath and looked at you, seeing you like this was stirring something inside of him, he was pained watching you like this. He didn’t think such a wonderful woman deserved to have to suffer the torture of her own mind when you already lived in hell on earth.
“Can ya hear me y/n?” He asked gently as he took your face in both of his rough hands. You were kind of there, kind of not, you registered his words and that he was there. Your eyes snapped to him and he mustered up a small half smile that you weren’t completely gone.
“Lay down, ya need to rest.” He said softly as he guided you to lay down. He curled himself around you and covered you with the blanket. It wasn’t long before he heard your breathing deepen as you fell into a deep sleep. He wanted to stay with you longer but he had watch, so he stayed as long as he could, hoping it was bringing some sort of comfort to you. He reluctantly got out of bed, tucking you in, and headed to Denise quickly before he had watch.

“I dunno what the fuck to do Denise, its like she ain’t there, was weird.” He sighed.
“It’s normal for her Daryl, when she gets depressed she retreats within herself, its a way of coping, as is the self harm. She wasn’t kidding when she said her moods cycle rapidly, I was with her this morning and she was fine.” Denise explained.
“I wanna help her, is there anythin’ I can do?” He asked concerned, earning a small smile from Denise.
“Well she’s depressed, so she’s probably going to shut off, maybe just keep her company and make sure she’s eating. It would be a good idea to try to get her out for a bit, the fresh air will help and a change of scenery would work wonders for her. Oh and get rid of anything she could use to hurt herself!” She said frowning. Daryl nodded whilst biting his lip. He would need to do that before watch just in case. He headed back to you and you were still asleep, so he cleared the room of anything he deemed suitable for self harm. He stood there for a moment, watching you, your peaceful face. You looked so beautiful when you were calm. He sighed as he retreated once more and went to watch.

The next day you woke up alone, you didn’t want to leave the house, no scratch that, you didn’t want to leave your bed. The heavy weight on your chest was slowly drowning you and you felt like it would be easier not to be here anymore. Jesus floated through your mind and you felt guilty for even contemplating that idea, it would destroy him. You hated that you couldn’t be normal, you hated that Daryl had seen you so weak, you were embarrassed. You heard footsteps coming up the stairs, you turned to the wall so your back was facing the door and pulled the cover over your head. You heard the door open but then it was silent for a while, you nearly jumped when you felt a weight on the bed.
“Ya awake?” You heard Daryl ask. You just made a noise, some sort of grunt as you stayed in the covers. You suddenly felt cold as he ripped the covers off you. You looked over your shoulder and glared at him.
“C’mon, get up, ya comin’ huntin’ with me.” He commanded. You groaned and grabbed the covers to hide again but he grabbed them and threw them on the floor. He gave you a look as if to dare you to challenge him so you rolled your eyes and slid out of bed. You grabbed the clothes and looked at him, he blushed as he noticed he was watching you and looked away quickly. You got dressed and you both headed out in comfortable silence. You started to feel a little better being out in the woods, you looked at Daryl and when he looked at you, you smiled.

“Thanks for this. I already feel a little better.” You admitted shyly.
“S’nothin’” He said but the corners of his mouth turned up a little. He was fighting the smile, he didn’t want to look like a weirdo, but it made him happy to know he was helping you again. You caught his little smile and couldn’t help but smile yourself. You’d been following tracks for a while when Daryl stopped abruptly, before you had a chance to ask, a bolt flew through the air and hit a rabbit in between the eyes.
“Shit, you’re really good at this.” You smiled. He couldn’t suppress the smug smirk that planted itself on his face, he felt his pride swell at your complement but he was also shocked that he apparently cared so much about what you thought about him.
“Wish I could use a bow or something. I mean I’m good with my knives but I’d love to learn to track and hunt and to use a crossbow.” You sighed.
“Can teach ya if ya want?” He asked looking at you.
“You would?!” You asked surprised. He nodded and you couldn’t help the giant smile on your face. He found himself smiling like a fool with you at the fact he had cheered you up so much. He walked over to a tree and carved a big x as a target with his knife.
“C’mere.” He said gesturing with his head for you to stand next to him. You walked over and he handed you the crossbow, you nearly dropped it with the weight and he smirked at you. You tried to hold it the way you’d seen him do it but you couldn’t get it right. He came up behind you and adjusted your arms.
“See, like this. Also ya stance is all wrong.” He explained as he kicked your legs apart a little and rested his hands on your hips to turn you in the correct position. His touch was sending electric impulses through your whole body, you suddenly felt dizzy. He was so close that you could feel his breath on your neck. He knew how close he was to you but he couldn’t move, touching you was sending his heart into overdrive, but he liked it.
“Pull the trigger.” He breathed into your ear. You shivered and he bit his lip at your body’s response, unintentionally tightening his grip on you. You pulled the trigger and surprisingly hit the target between the eyes.

“Holy Shit! I did it!” You exclaimed as you turned to face him. He found himself feeling proud of you and smiled at your beaming face. For once you felt like you didn’t have mental health issues, you felt normal. Daryl was better than any drug you’d been prescribed. His hands were still on your hips and he was staring at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. You started to lean in slowly, hesitantly, you were shocked when Daryl closed the gap, crashing his lips onto yours. The kiss was tender yet incredibly passionate and he grabbed the back of your neck to deepen the kiss and he ran his tongue over your bottom lip. You parted your lips to grant him entry and your tongues danced together. When you broke apart you were both breathless and smiled at each other.
“I don’t know how the fuck you do it.” You smiled.
“What?” He asked confused.
“Make me feel this way. Like I’m…normal. Like I’m happy.” You sighed contently. He didn’t know what to say, your words touched his heart and he felt good that he could help you so much. He cupped your face and kisses you deeply.
You’d finally found a remedy to your pain.

SHATTERED, by Ashley Herring Blake

Usually, we dance to forget, but tonight feels different. Tonight, we move our bodies through the full moon’s light to remember. Maybe it’s because our father finally drew blood, the evidence a crimson smear across Naomi’s cheek. Maybe it’s because when Mama turned her face away while he raged, I saw the ghost of the girl she used to be and more and more lately, my body has started to feel transparent. Too light, too easily tossed aside.

The same desperate fire lifts Elisa’s arms over her head, her face still tear-damp and her feet bare. Naomi’s fingers fly over the church’s old piano, delicate and elegant but fierce, like she’s pulling her own marrow from the keys and placing it back in her bones.

Naomi’s the youngest, but of the three of us, she’s the one who stands the tallest, her shoulders always rolled back and ready for a fight. Elisa, the eldest, is quiet and thoughtful, her mind always full of strategy, a way out that never comes.

I’m the girl in the middle, the one who spends months squirreling away granola bars and little cups of applesauce and bottles of water under our bed for when our father locks us inside, spewing hate and corrections on the other side of the door.

Good girls don’t talk back to their fathers, Naomi, you little slut.

Good girls don’t smile at boys, Astrid, you little slut.

Good girls don’t cry when they’re being reprimanded, Elisa, you little slut.

Good girls don’t. Good girls don’t. Good girls don’t.

Those words are a constant presence in our house, a member of the family that slips into each of our beds in turn, trying to fuse with our skin. They even creep between Mama’s sheets, clinging to her nightdress and wrapping around her shoulders. She never does anything to slough them off. They drag her farther and farther down, a chain on her ankles and wrists until she barely has any words of her own anymore.

The first night she turned away while our father pointed his thick finger in my face and ripped the hem of the dress I’d spent months babysitting the Briley twins to afford, telling me Good girls don’t wear dresses that short, you little slut, that was the night I knew.

She’d given up.

But I hadn’t.

I couldn’t.

Later that night, I gripped my sisters’ hands as we climbed out the window of our tiny locked bedroom, our feet bare in the moon-silvered grass, our breaths terrified but alive in our throats.

“Where are we going?” Naomi asked.

“Another world,” I said.

This was a silly thing to say, but it made sense to us. Naomi ran faster and Elisa squeezed my fingers, the possibly of something else a solid heartbeat in our chests. We ran through the woods, the river was a rolling force next to us that seemed to spur us on.

Go. Flee. Run. Fly.

We ran and ran and I didn’t know where we were going until I saw it.

The abandoned church was about a mile from our house, tucked in between the pines and beeches like a forgotten secret. It was once a vibrant Baptist water cooler, its Sundays and Wednesdays filled with organ music and clapping and the quiet hush of prayer. At least that’s what Mama says. The pews in that church haven’t been filled in years, abandoned for flashier services, lights and drums and stages.

I pulled my sisters up the rickety front steps and by some midnight miracle, the padlock was rusty enough that it broke right off in my hands. Inside, the once-red-now-pink carpet was covered with twigs and dead leaves and raccoon poop.

But we didn’t mind. The room was alight. The full moon streamed in through the stained glass windows, spilling red and blue and green and gold over the pulpit and pews and floor. Naomi headed straight for the piano, flipping its creaky lid and laying her long, skilled fingers on the yellowing keys.

As she started to play, Elisa and I crept up to the front of the sanctuary, where the pews ended and there was a wide open space in front of the alter.

Then we danced.

It started small, just a gentle sway of our hips to the beat of Naomi’s song. Naomi had a way of playing the piano that made you move. It was impossible to stay still when her music filled the air, because it filled you too. Your heart and blood and bones. Elisa grinned at me and soon I was grinning back. The smile felt so foreign on my lips, but I liked it. I lifted my arms in the air and soon it was more than a gentle protest.

It was an anthem. Naomi pounded out the song of our rebellion, our bodies acted it out, cemented it, made it real. I felt my nightdress slide over my thighs, my arms, my breasts. My bare feet pressed into the carpet, reminding the earth I was here. I was alive. I was a girl and I was real.

We danced until the sky pinked up and grew hazy. I held my sister’s hand and we laughed and felt and moved. Naomi moved in her own way, her eyes shining, her fingers quick and determined. We made our own world, dancing underneath the colors of the moon.

Since then, we’ve sought out that little sanctuary more times than I can count. Our father locks us inside our room and then forgets us, forgets we are girls with hearts and minds and wills. We climb outside and into our secret haven and we forget all that ugliness. We remember we are beautiful.

But tonight is different. Tonight, Naomi’s fingers fall heavy on the keys. Tonight, Elisa doesn’t smile while she dances. She cries. She rages. She throws her body about the room, every action a demand for more, for freedom, for respite. Tonight, I my legs move underneath me, but my mind is with Mama, with the note I left in her vanity, the one our father never ever touches because it’s full of those womanly graces he despises so much.

Him or us.

That’s what I wrote to her. And I meant it. I glance over at Naomi’s face, so wise for her thirteen years. I look at Elisa with her effortless beauty, the smiles she can’t help pull out of everyone who meets her. I think about Helena, the girl who lives down the road and who doesn’t think I notice how she watches my sister, the longing in her eyes so clear, it makes my heart hurt.

Elisa doesn’t think I notice how she watches Helena back, a shy smile curving her pretty mouth.

I look down at my own arms, my own feet, my skin and my desires trapped beneath an ugly man’s hate, a sad man’s inability to understand.

Well, I’m done with imprisonment. I’m done with weakness. I’m done with blood trickling out of my little sister’s nose. I’m done with that quick flash of shame I feel whenever I hide wrapped in the quilt on my bed and slip my hands under the sheets to figure out my own needs and meet them.

They are mine. I am mine. Elisa is hers and Naomi is her own and tonight feels different.

Tonight is different.

We dance. We dance and Naomi plays and the room grows hotter and hotter. The colors steaming in through the windows seem to move with us, undulating in my vision. They twist and curl as our bodies twist and curl and I know they’re on our side. They’re with us, the colors. They’ve watched us all this time and now they know it’s time.

They know it’s time to break free, to be reborn.

The sound starts low, a tickle in my ear. I keep dancing, my heart thrumming in my chest so loudly that at first, I think that’s it. My blood is coursing through me so fast, so violently, it’s audible, a tangible force in this tiny room.

But then it gets louder and a little pucker forms between Elisa’s eyes. Naomi turns her head toward us, a question on her brow. Still, we keep dancing. It’s almost otherworldly, this understanding between us, how we just know that we need to keep moving, keep shouting to the universe.

The sound grows, a crackling, like ice thawing on the pond in March. My fingers splay above my head, a dark silhouette against the colored glass and looking up, just to see my hands in motion and life, that’s when I see it.

A crack splintering across the center stained glass window. The fissure grows and widens, zig-zagging across the glass like a living thing. Soon, there are more of them, more jagged lines over the glass, kaleidoscoping the color through the room.

I grab Elisa’s hand and we run over to the piano so that we’re next to the piano. I press my fingers into Naomi’s shoulder, but she doesn’t stop playing. Her music goes on and on and I can’t stand still. Even though a fear bites at my heart, I have to move.

I catch Elisa’s eye and she smiles. The breaking has softened now, like it’s in tune with our bodies. I arch my arms in the air and lift up on my toes. Immediately, the noises increase, the glass splits and groans and the more we move, the more it breaks, our little world coming apart all around us.

Pieces of glass fall from the windows, sloughing off all the old, letting in the cool night air and the pure, unadulterated moon. It envelops us, the colors bursting into silver over our skin.

We laugh, the windows shattering around us, our feet brushing with the glass but untouched. It’s wild and impossible, beauty unleashed.

It is us.

We dance until the air shifts, the breeze through the empty windows stilling, the quiet clear and stark even against Naomi’s music.

All at once, we stop. All at once, my hand finds Elisa’s and Naomi’s hand finds mine. All at once, we see her.

Mama.

She stands in the doorway, jeans on under her own nightdress, her hair braided messily and her wool peacoat buttoned up to her chin. A duffel bag hangs from her already stooped shoulders, the straps of two more gripped in her hands.

She’s breathing heavy, like she’s been running.

Or maybe, like she’s been dancing.

My sisters and I stare at her. Behind her, I see our father’s old pickup truck. Well, actually, it’s Mama’s old pickup truck, passed down to her from her older brother, Vance, when he moved to the city. Its engine is running and I peel my eyes for my father’s head, for his piercing, impatient eyes locked on me, yelling at me silently to hurry up, you little slut.

But he’s not there. The truck is empty, the driver’s side door yawning wide open, waiting for us.

Us.

“It’s time to go,” Mama says.

I suck in a breath, my fingers tightening on my sisters’. I look around at the bare windows, the colors strewn around our feet, the echo of Naomi’s song still whispering through the sanctuary. The whole room breathes, urging us on.

These windows can’t shield us anymore. They’ve broken and now they’re something new. A window that reveals what’s outside rather than shelters.

My mother meets my wary gaze. She doesn’t turn away. Her eyes are soft on me, but a hardness runs just underneath. A readiness, a determination to be remade.

As one, my sisters and I move toward her. We fall into arms, we fall into her tears, we fall into a new life, right there in that moment.

As one, we leave the broken little church behind and everything we’ll never forget.


Ashley Herring Blake is a reader, writer, and mom to two boisterous boys. She holds a Master’s degree in teaching and loves coffee, arranging her books by color, and watching Buffy over and over again on Netflix with her friends. Her young adult contemporary debut, Suffer Love, is out now from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Her second book, How to Make a Wish, will release in 2017.

Learn more about her: Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr

Since we now entered 2017 at my place as well, I think it’s about time to finally post what I was planning to do for quite a while now!

Other than a follow forever (speaking of which, I don’t think this is even necessary, like, once I follow you, I’ll always follow you, sooooo), I just wanted to thank every single blog I’m following for making 2016 a quite pleasant year for me! I haven’t been on this blog for a long time, yet I always had a lot of fun when going online and that’s thanks to you and only you, so I hope that with this post I can give some of my happiness to you and give you a nice start into 2017, even if it’s just a little!

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Since pretty much everyone is doing a follow forever/appreciation and a lot has changed since my first follow forever (including everyone’s url), I’ve decided to make this little thing to appreciate you all. I’m probably going to forget a lot of people because of similar url’s and because I’m a mess.

I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am for this website, or the people I’ve met here. This year was really hard on me and I don’t think I would make it without you to dry my tears and send me virtual hugs. I love you guys so much, you have no idea. 

Dedicated to our little angel @sheriffswan, who made us realize how amazing this fandom can be. 

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