it's really uncomfortable to be referred to as what i am not

anonymous asked:

Hello! How would you write a dialogue in which a character is freaking out about something? I generally have them word vomit but I don't really like that style. If its too much could you show me an example as well?

Hi!

You could definitely word vomit – especially if your character is hysterical – but that’s not the only way to do it by any means. I know a few other ways.

1. Calmly.
This is strange, considering your character is freaking out, but the freak-out is internal – they’re shutting themselves off due to shock. In this case, they would be quiet, sane, and even if what they’re saying is illogical, it would probably sound reasonable.

“I was right there when she shot him. He dropped like a sack of flour. I figured he was gone as soon as the bullet hit his chest. So now I’ve decided I’m gonna go after her. Right now. And I’m gonna kill her.”
“What? You can’t do that!”
“Sure I can. She killed him, so I kill her. It’s called justice.”
“But- With just your bare hands?”
“The way I feel right now, my bare hands are more than enough.”

Notice how the character who just watched their friend die in front of them isn’t yelling, isn’t stuttering, isn’t getting angry or crying – they’re perfectly calm, almost to the point of complete emotional shutdown.

2. Angrily.
Some people get angry when they lose control and freak out – it scares them, and the fear manifests itself as anger. This type particularly happens when they’re upset about something and other characters aren’t taking it seriously or are shrugging off their concerns.

“No! It’s happening tonight! We don’t have time to think, or weigh things, we need to fucking leave! Now!”
“We can’t. You know that, and you’d remember that, if you were thinking straight-”
“I am thinking straight! It’s you who’s fucked in the head. I don’t give a damn what you think we can and can’t do, we need to clear out of here, right this second.”

As you can see, this character is freaking out – their concerns may or may not have a firm foundation, but obviously they are concerned, and that concern is manifesting itself as fury.

3. By stuttering.
For some people, it’s hard to talk when they panic, because their minds race forward ahead of their mouths and they get tongue-tied. I typically see/use this with more anxious characters, or with characters who aren’t typically good at speaking anyways (in other words, who are uncomfortable talking).

There are a couple of different ways to stutter:
a. Repeat the beginning of each word.

“I tr-tried to s-save him, but he wuh-wouldn’t l-let me … he knew it was g-going to happen. It’s my f-fault!”

(However, keep in mind that this kind of stuttering is more as if your character is crying and trying to talk through sobs and hiccups. Please use it sparingly – it can get old fast.)

b. Repeat words.

“No. No, I don’t know what’s going on, Ricky. Ricky, why would I have any idea? Don’t fucking look at me like that, Ricky. Don’t look at me like I’m lying.”

c. Insert filler sounds: “ah”, “uh”, “um”, and/or curse words.

“I, uh, I- fuck. I, ummm, I think maybe, ah, maybe we should leave?”

For more on stuttering – it can be hard to peg correctly – check out this post.

I hope this helps! If you need anything else, please feel free to ask. - @authors-haven

5

oh god im sorry i stalked your blogs for references for like 2 hours 

@drawinggheys @raythrill @objectionable-code @terror-in-the-dream @bocitena @juuria @halpdevon @lauwurens 

so uh… how do i words , uhm… a lot of you dont know me– hell i think only three people here know who i am, but i really really like your art (and art styles) and i look up to all of you a lot, and i look for inspiration from you guys almost every day so uhm… oh my god everyone is just so beautiful, the style, the colors, the line density, the face shapes– I COULD KEEP GOING ON AND ON REALLY—- but i cant because this post is long enough as it is

there’s so many more people i want to add and thank for being such a wonderful sources of awe and inspiration but my shoulder is killing me and its currently an ungodly hour of the wee mornings so i ask for pardon

ah– anyway, bottom line, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING AN INSPIRATION keep doing what you’re doing and i hope you continue to grow and be happier with your art every new day that comes your way!

-Celi <3

P.S. btw if you’re uncomfortable with me putting up your style there please message me and i’ll take it down im sorry;;;;;

anonymous asked:

sooo i don't really have a question but i would like an analysis of the new amazingphil video if you have one,, or just your favorite moments, idk i just want you to talk about it, i love your "reviews"

hahaha of course i’ll talk about it!!!!! it’s interesting bc when i first watched this i was actually like not that into it??? it just felt like 10 very calm and chill mins of dnp hanging out which is obviously great but i think i was sort of distracted so i was like mmmm it wasn’t as entertaining as their usual collabs, esp bc on first watch i was like, dan keeps going for these weird dark jokes about torture n maiming and it’s all v Standard Fare but then i thought about it more and realized ,, if this isn’t the biggest evidence yet about how far they’ve come and evolved since last year then idk what is??? like i just can’t believe it’s gotten to the point where i could watch 10 minutes of dan softly playing around with phil’s hair and both of them being a bit calmer and more muted in front of the camera, freely touching each other and joking around about more Mature Themes (hats off to the dildo joke and the “safety word” bit) and have all of that feel completely STANDARD and unsurprising!!! it’s just crazy to me that they’ve normalized these behaviors so much that a video like this could feel so completely expected and ~chill~ 

but then i watched it a second and third time (bc duh) when i was less distracted and there really were so many little moments that stood out to me and so many cute smiles and soft lil jokes that made me wanna melt and it was all just so good. it’s nowhere near their funniest or most captivating video but it’s just vv vv v v soft and chill and natural. when comparing it to something like pastel edits which is probs a close parallel in terms of them playing dress up and touching each other a bit in direct response to a fan request, you can see how this one is far softer and a little bit less performed–they seem less ‘on’ for lack of a better term, and a lot more laid back, dan doesn’t spend as much time demeaning the idea or teasing the fan base for wanting it, and all of it is just so enjoyable to watch. i’ve included (way too many) timestamps below (plus way too many screenshots, as usual, of stupidly cute moments ugh): 

  • 5 seconds in this is already alarmingly cute w dan grumbling behind the pillow that phil wants to give him a creative nickname and phil giggling and looking down at him when he starts complaining
  • :17 dan gives phil permission to just call him dan and phil looks cute n happy about it
  • :27 dan needs to reiterate he was a nerd in school
  • :34 ‘japes’ k dan
  • :48 i live for the way phil looks so earnest and excited when he asks dan why he decided to ‘embrace the curls’ like he genuinely wants to hear dan explain this .. phil is genuinely obsessed w dan’s curls he wasn’t lyin when he said that in the pastel edits vid :(
  • 1:00 i hope phil was the one who chose that photo as an example of dan’s hair looking good in a pic,, phil thinks dan’s best look is his crunchy 2013 leather jacket n his scoop neck t shirt … #confirmed
  • 1:10 ‘you’ve left me alone!’ calm down phil he’s right next to u
  • 1:12 did phil pick that photo too ..  the one of dan in his tank top n hair straightened to within an inch of its life and silvery earrings making a pouty face ,,, lmao i love that he’s picking the cringiest emo-est throwbacks possible
  • 1:54 phil’s like ‘i thought we could eat 400 crusts to see if my hair goes curly’ and it’s altogether a lame joke but dan is staring at him like he’s the most beautiful person on earth. i’d be uncomfortable if i wasn’t so busy melting. then phil stares at dan giggling and it’s all a bit much for me
  • 2:41 ‘what’d happen if i balded you right now?’ dan is so concerned for phil’s well-being that he forgets how to grammar
  • 2:45 the fuckin dildo joke i s2g why are they making sly references to dildos in a g-rated hair curling video why did phil immediately follow dan saying ‘that looks like something else’ by going ‘ooo’ and shoving the curler near dan’s mouth why are they gross
  • 3:21 dan unnecessarily rubbing the curler all over phil’s shoulder and neck … ok
  • 3:41 phil sounds so serious when he asks dan if he thinks the curly hair will suit him, like he really needs dan’s Hot Take on this important issue but dan’s just shuts him down hahaha. i feel like this is reminiscent of the faceapp vid in which dan was completely NOT DOWN with any alteration to phil’s appearance whatsoever bc (vom) he thinks phil is perf jst the way he is (i might actually be sick) 
  • 3:47 idk why but i’m obsessed w phil saying ‘dan, don’t mess about with it’ and dan responding ‘i’m nOT’ in his whiny voice w his eyes all wide. cute
  • 3:56 lmao dan bringing up babuse (i can’t type that without thinking of ‘let me see that babussy’ i hate the fucking internet) and saying it was the last time he was on this bed, i am living for these bants and also phil’s expression of mock horror
  • 4:08 ‘curl me up, bess’
  • 4:11 dan’s going for ‘teen nick jonas but without the face’ his crush is going strong i see,, and then he can’t even follow through and tell phil his face doesn’t compare to nick jonas’s so he turns it into a joke about burning his face instead, nice save bro
  • 4:27 THIS KILLED ME THEYRE JST TALKING N DAN JUST BRUSHES ASIDE A BIT OF PHILS FRINGE FOR NO REASON AT ALL HE JST WANTS TO PLAY W HIS HAIR ITS CUTE N IM DYIN
  • 5:01 something about this bit when dan’s like ‘got a whole clump it’s undignified’ and their proximity, the way their arms are sort of pressed together and it looks like dan could be resting his hand on phil’s leg and dan is also sort of just looking down at phil ,,, Good
  • 5:08 when phil kinda squeaks and pulls away all of a sudden i feel like dan is legit actually concerned he could burn phil as evidenced by his voice going all high pitched when he’s like ‘you can’t do that!!!!’
  • 5:13 more completely unnecessary dan playing around w phil’s fringe n brushing it away. it goes on for like 8 seconds plus there’s a jump cut in the middle of it lmao,,, ugh the way he touches phil’s hair is so soft it makes me feel things
  • 5:32 ‘gonna pork you up phil’ does dan know the meaning of ‘pork’ as a verb ??  ? ? ??? ??????  for reference:
  • 5:36 ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’ ‘ooo is it really boring’ dan is showing yet again that he flirts like a five year old who pulls their crush’s pigtails in the playground grOW UP MATE. phil loves it tho
  • 6:03 omg idk why but i LOVED phil saying ‘i’m finding you so disturbing right now’ it feels so authentic??? something about the way he phrased it is so funny??????? like he genuinely needs dan to take it down a notch w the grim humor lmao
  • 6:47 ‘we need a safety word’ oh my god these boring vanilla fucks call a safe word a ‘safety word’ could they be LAMER hahaha (in all seriousness i can’t even believe that’s a joke dan went for at all let alone on this channel and that phil just chuckled n went along with it what the fuck what a time we live in honestly,, the flirting and touching and the whole premise of a dan-curls-phil’s-hair video is already so much but, like, let’s just add a fucking allusion to bdsm into the mix while we’re at it!!!!!!! wtf!!!)
  • the whole sped up montage of dan doing the curling is just rife w gratuitous hair touching so like obvi i immediately turned the speed down to .5 and just sat back to enjoy it (also @kay-okays uploaded a slowed down version here if ya wanna look at that or like bookmark it for ur own uses ,,  whatever ur into m8)
  • 7:18 those two gentle pats that dan gives to the back of phil’s head before phil looks at his finished hair … so fucking adorable bc it’s the way dan pats down his own hair when he’s fixing it pls save me
  • 7:29 dan obvi needs to make it a point to emphasize they have the same hair again as has been his constant refrain about their haircuts for the last like 3 years (tbh i’m convinced that he literally misses having the same hair as phil which is gross and just as sappy as i’d expect from him) and in order to demonstrate how ALIKE they are again he proceeds to mirror phil playing w his fringe bc why not .. 
  • ‘this was the only thing that was separating us’ PLS
  • 7:38 dan’s Hot Take 2.0: ‘you look like a cool australian surfer … like a weird goth one that has never been to the beach’
  • 8:14 dan asserts on phil’s behalf that phil ‘needs’ the edge of his emo fringe and phil immediately agrees. rip to anyone who was hoping quiff!phil might be on the horizon
  • 8:39 dan goes defensive about how he could’ve done a better job and phil immediately jumps in to say that he thinks dan did well in the most sincere voice of all time, accompanied w cute/soft smile
  • and then he cuts dan off entirely to remind him that he didn’t burn phil’s face off and to v fervently thank him (he litro NODS while he thanks him it’s so SERIOUS) and then dan does some weird touchy thing to phil’s chest or arm or both and phil decides to boop dan’s cheek and you should really SLOW IT DOWN bc when you do, you notice it’s more of like a lil squeeze as opposed to just a v light tap and it’s gROSS:
  • 8:59 then, since this video has far too much dan gratuitously touching phil and phil was surely feeling deprived, phil reaches over to give dan a ‘zayn curl’ and play w dan’s fringe a bit n at this point i’ve had Enough of this cute ass shit
  • 9:20 dan couldn’t just leave it there, he needs to take a moment to re-assert the ~dnp don’t go outside or go to parties or talk to people Ever~ branding just in case ANYONE forgot (but also seems like a low key way for dan to gently remind the audience not to get attached to this in any way bc it will probs never happen again)
  • 9:40 phil dubs dan the “original curly man” n idk how to feel about this but i suppose that is a fitting conclusion to this absolute roller coaster of emotions 

ugh. just a really great video. i’m sorry this post is massive,, there’s jst so much here and i needed to have pics of ALL OF IT

(dan curls my hair!

Right, so, this dude, an acquaintance at best, that I knew way back in the day on the net. The dude was a Friendzone Fred before “friendzone” had its big break into common lingo, that is to say, he was a proto-Nice Guys Finish Last kinda loser. We used to play Blazblue CS together, so we’d talk here and there before, between, and after matches, and all this dude talked about was his fetish and how this girl he crushed on totally, definitely liked him back, but “she’s just too shy to say it to me”, like, my dude more than once For Realsies used the word “tsundere” to refer to this real-ass girl. I frankly didn’t give a shit because I kinda hated him, but he also was optimal to fight with in BBCS for my skill level, so hell, whatever, this-for-that.

So one day he’s going with her and some people to an amusement park and he’s all “tomorrow’s perfect for her to confess to me!” the day before this. Now, at this point, I would’ve warned him several times to err on the side of caution and to not be assuming other people’s feelings so freely, and to also not use fucking anime as his guide to a maiden’s heart, but again, I hated him (he was not exactly a good person or a pleasant person), so I more or less just watched as the gunpowder trail lit all the way to the keg, kinda like a sideshow to our Bang vs Rachels and Hazama vs Ragnas, see, so I just told him to break a leg and come back with the good (*snort*) news.

Of course, next time we play, the very next day, he’s in a supremely foul mood. You get One guess at what happened. Wrong. It was worse. My dude basically made her very uncomfortable the whole damn day by laying it thick on her and acting overly familiar, from what I could discern out of what he was telling me, and eventually he had to come face to face with her hooking up with another dude in that little group. I don’t really know if the dude confessed to her or she confessed to the dude, but the whole point is, my acquaintance was not exactly right on the money when it came to her affections. So, from that day on, he started no joke, For Realsies saying that kissing girls was gay (again, no semblance of humor, straight up saying gay as an insult) because kissing a girl meant kissing her dad or some crazy logic that all translated to “I am Very Mad about recent events”. He was being more annoying than usual and all I wanted was to play BB, so at one point I just tell him “you should go tell the dude you are unhappy with this” and he’s like “Yeah”.

Full stop.

Now, if you’ve followed me for like four minutes, you know I like jokes. I am practically being facetious my entire life and about most things that come outta my mouth or my fingers are japes. THAT over there was a joke, an attempt at smoothing over the atmosphere so maybe he would stop being anal at a girl for not liking his narcissistic NEET ass and get back to trading punches with me in the anime game. There was no way I could’ve been serious about it. NO ONE would say that for real. 

That “yeah”, I simply concluded was an acknowledgement of the joke. A “Mm! You sure did say that!” kinda dealio. After that, he did chill, after all, and we played, woo. But my dude took my word as if it came out from the Bible itself, and that’s exactly what he did the next day. Two days later, I connect for our usual games and he’s in the worst mood I’ve seen him, and I cannot begin to describe to you the gorgeous abdominal muscles I developed from laughter the moment he told me he actually fucking went to this dude’s house, told him what amounts to “your girl actually loves me, so back off”, and somehow didn’t expect the massive ass whooping the other dude gave him.

All I am trying to say here is that, one, there’s some real God Damn Legends walking among us, and two, life ain’t that bad. Shortly after, I departed that website and that whole community, so I dunno what happened to him after, but basically, this dude was burning more bridges than Edgar Allan Poe by the time I was packing my shit, mine included, so here’s hoping that things haven’t changed much.

THAT THING WHEN KIDS POINT AT YOU YELLING QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ARE VISIBLY DISABLED

It kinda sucks. It really sucks. I like kids and I work with kids and I’m totally used to it and it still sucks. It hurts my feelings.

I didn’t become disabled and get an instant magical free training in how to teach kids about disability and diversity. I also didn’t sign up for a delicate unpaid education-and-outreach job every time I go to the frickin’ grocery store. (I actually don’t have time for that).

BUT. And this is a big butt.

I am actually learning to love it, this stupid important unpaid job that I didn’t even get to choose.

I know I know, I have an unfair advantage because I already thought kids were ridiculous and hilarious to begin with. And I worked with them before I started using a wheelchair. But working with kids and having to have the disability conversation in so many iterations so many times over is teaching me a whole lot about this whole situation! And it got much less stressful after I realized this helpful key secret:

kids don’t actually have a problem with disability.

Especially compared to the adults you encounter who will or won’t ask about it and will or won’t hire you or date you or what-have-you, so many kids have absolutely no problem with disability. Unless the media // the adults around them have gotten to their brains before you, this whole conversation might be alarmingly simple, quick, and painless:

SCENARIO 1:

“hey why are you on that?” [“on that” refers to my wheelchair]. 

(whenever possible I put down what I’m doing in order to smile and make eye contact for this. It will probably be less than 20 seconds).

“oh my wheelchair? Great question! I have a disability that makes my bones crack easily, so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair sometimes. It’s just how I help my body be at its best!”

“oh!”

“cool right?”

“yeah!”

“did you have any other questions?” [I only throw that in on good days]

“um. nope!”


[kid goes to play]

[exhale]


My advice is to expect Scenario One. All you gotta do to prepare is have a one-sentence explanation of your assistive device / disability that you feel comfortable with. Kids do not give a shit about your diagnosis, and you don’t need to prove anything to them. All they need from you is a simple, casual answer.

I * always * explicitly use the word disability for a few reasons. I used to just casually say “I fractured my leg” which was also true, but kids learn really early on to feel pity for someone who has an injury, so they would say things like “ohh I feel bad for you” or “oh when will you get better” which always made the conversation longer and more uncomfortable. Then I realized I had a lot of power in shaping their interaction with disability (and their response to it) in these brief encounters, and also I GET TO DECIDE HOW I ANSWER! So I revised my answer to frame my injuries (and my wheels), as a normal, casual part of my life. Feel free to use my exact wording if it helps you:

“oh my wheelchair? Great question! I have a disability that   (very basic explanation)     so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair sometimes. It’s just how I help my body be at its best!”

Okay I studied sociolinguistics in college so here’s my geeky little break-down:

  • oh my wheelchair?” ← gives a nice nonchalant “oh this old thing” vibe and sends the message that it’s okay and normal to talk about wheelchairs.
  • great question!” ← teaches the child that disability is not shameful
  • I have a disability that ___” ← addresses the taboo right away, deflating any tension, awkwardness, and curiosity in the rest of the conversation. Suddenly you have all the power here, since there’s no secret anymore.
  • so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair” ← emphasizes the positive attributes of assistive devices. You could also say “it helps me do everything I want to do” or “my wheels are faster than my feet” or whatever you want. Again, simplicity works for you in this.
  • It’s just how I help my body be at its best!” ← hopefully kids are already getting some messaging about taking care of their bodies: brushing their teeth, eating a snack, sleeping enough, etc. This line should be relatable to them and also caps the conversation in a helpful way: it’s almost like saying “this is just how it is” and creates a sense of gentle, positive closure.

My personal opinion on the matter of disclosure is that the vast majority of kids don’t care at all about the fancy name of your disability. I don’t emphasize simplicity because I think kids need to be talked down to, I emphasize simplicity because it keeps the conversation clear, casual, and quick. In the adult world, disclosure is practically demanded of disabled people: even if they don’t ask, everyone wants to know what, exactly, is “wrong” with you. So my choice in not naming my specific disability in these conversations with kids is conscious and political. Not disclosing my diagnosis keeps our conversation out of the medical sphere (disabled people are so over-medicalized anyway) and gives us a chance to connect human-to-human. Some people feel that sharing a diagnosis will raise “awareness” for their illness or disability but I’m not sure that awareness is what I need from kids. I don’t need them to be aware that my bod has wonky collagen production, I need them to know how to interact with me respectfully. I’m not adamantly against specific diagnosis disclosure, (again, YOU GET TO CHOOSE what you say in these situations!) but I also don’t think it’s necessary or important and I think more often than not, it derails the conversation. Especially if you already didn’t have time for this to begin with. Guaranteed, a diagnosis disclosure will add time to this convo.

Often kids will ask what happened to you, assuming that you’ve had some kind of accident. I have a congenital disability, so even when I * have * fractured and had an ‘accident’ and that is why I’m wheeling instead of walking, I usually just casually say: “oh, nothing happened! Same old me. I have a disability…” and continue my spiel from there. 

They will also ask what’s wrong with you (which is the hardest to stomach) and I do the same thing: “oh, nothing’s wrong! I just have a disability…” etc. If I’m just absolutely not in the mood or if a kid seems weirdly aggressive (which is almost never the case, but it does happen), I’ll cheerfully say “oh nothing’s wrong, but thank you so much for asking!” and that usually shuts down the conversation. 

Lovelies, I know how fucking painful this is. Ugh it sucks so much. But it does get easier and gentler and sometimes kids say really goofy things that you get to laugh about later. This conversation is yours. You get to do as you please with it. Have fun. If you want, for little ones throw in an afterthought: “plus it gives me magical powers. But don’t tell anyone.” Having someone look at you like you could be legitimately fucking magical might make your day. 

Hell, you ARE legitimately fucking magical. Go you for reading this and thinking about this and doing you. 

love,

haley

So the other day I got this message in my inbox:

“What if ji and ksoo were to see the sexual and erotic stuff you shippers write/post about them? Just imagine how it makes them feel. As two men who are just friends it could make them really uncomfortable and they probably think its disrespectful too smh”

Rather than replying straight to this person and being petty, throwing shade and ready to fight like I usually am….I figured I’d reply with this nice and calm well thought out post since this subject comes up often with Kaisoo and I feel like this possibility needs a bit of exploration. :)

*****DISCLAIMER******: As everyone should know by now, I am a kaisoo supporter and this post is mainly to break down misconceptions in relation to them only. In other words, I am not speaking for other pairings/ships that arent Kaisoo. This is solely my perception and view on this so no shade will be tolerated. I edited this both on my laptop and my phone so idk if the “read more” shyt appeared…dont shoot me. The names of Kaisoo have been abbreviated to eliminate appearing in their respective tags. This post is also not to condone or promote the sharing of sexually explicit forms of shipping directly with the artists involved. (i.e messaging it to them on social media, mailing it to them, shouting things like “how hard does ji f*ck you” to ksoo in person, etcetera etcetera blah blah yada yada)

So, EXO debuted in 2012.

This makes about 4 years since they have been active in the industry.
Kaisoo shippers began noticing their interactions way before EXO’s debut.
Then, this airport photo that was released to the public was one of the first ones that showed how intimate they were with one another:

This pre debut photo was also leaked along with others, some of which were noted to have been much more intimate:

Eerily, these intimate photos vanished after EXO’s debut and are currently nowhere to be found online.

Anyway…moving on. :)


So we know that the kaisoo ship began its first stages of sailing around 2010-late 2011, before EXO’s debut.
Throughout all 4 years of EXO being active, both JI and KS have maintained steady and intimate interactions with one another. There were only two major periods during these 4 years of which the two seemed to be more distant around each other than usual. (There are many theories about this, research more if you’re interested.)

Simultaneously within these 4 years, the kaisoo pairing grew to become one of the longest and most popular pairings in EXO, to the point where it not only became one of EXO’s main pairings but one of the most popular pairings within the Korean idol industry as a whole.

That’s a lot of popularity, right?
I hope you are following along.

“Kaisoo” is what international fans use to refer to “KAI” and “KyungSOO” being paired.
However, in Korea, they are referred to as “KADI”

“KADI” is written as “카디 ” in hangul.
Below is a screencap from an interview for EXO’s 2nd box dvd that included both JI and KS, released in 2015:

As you can see, they both seem to be well informed about their Korean couple name, “Kadi”.

Okay, so what does this mean? Just cuz they know the name doesnt mean they’ve seen what fans draw of them! It should be kept private!

This brings me to my next point.
Again, KADI written in hangul is 카디.
One of Korea’s most popular search engines is “NAVER. It is Korea’s equivalent to GOOGLE in the US. More than 25 million people in South Korea have used NAVER.
NAVER has also collaborated with and sponsored many EXO related things both past and present.

I searched for 카디 in NAVER, and this is what came up:

On almost every page, there were drawings of JI and KS that were intimate and very erotic.

So, this leads me to my final point.


If we look at the timeline and how the kaisoo ship started before debut, it grew to be one of the most popular ships, they both know about their ship name and that erotic images show up when you search their name on NAVER (we could even factor in that JI has had an instagram in the past and that KS has been rumoured to have a private one)…then one could only conclude that the chance of them already having seen and possibly even read what fans have created about them is pretty high.

In short, I know a lot of you want to protect JI and KS and make sure that things like this stay private and out of their reach, but I am 99% sure that its too late for that and they have already seen these things.

I also don’t feel like protection is needed, though, and its because of this reason. If we can conclude that within 4 years they had to have been exposed to “erotic kaisoo fanart/fiction” then we can also conclude that there is a possibility that they aren’t bothered by it too much.

The reason for this once again goes back to the timeline. We know that the kaisoo pairing has been around since 2010. We also know there is a possibility they both knew about their pairing. 

 Hypothetically, lets say that I am and idol and found out that fans were looking at my interactions with another idol and creating sexual imagery out of these reactions and I don’t like it. My first reaction to limit this would be to reduce how much I interact with this person in the public eye. Less touching, less whispering, less laughing and being seen together. Whether fanservice or just normal interaction, if me being shipped with this person made me uncomfortable, the interaction with them would slow down. 

 But Kadi’s interactions with one another didn’t slow down until almost 2 years after debut, which would lead one to come to the conclusion that A.) They are not bothered by being paired with one another, and B.) The reactions slowed down for a reason other than them being uncomfortable with shipping.

I’m pretty sure they’re bothered and just feel like they can’t say anything cuz of SM!!

This is a possibility, but again not very likely. Remember not too long ago when Chanyolk put up that long post on instagram after people found out he started following a specific female idol? And we all know about how vocal Amburr has been lately about ef ex as well. KS was able to politely communicate that he no longer needs gifts from fans, so its safe to say that if shipping him with JI was an issue that would have been conveyed somehow too.

There is also so much evidence from Kaisoo themselves clearly showing how shipping doesnt seem to make them uncomfortable.

We have the sticker set that JI used on his phone. This sticker set was made by and given to him by a fansite:

In this sticker set there were drawings of JI by himself, JI with animals and KS drawings, but not any other member/idol. This also shows that, once again, kaisoo had been shipped by the public for a long time, giving them the likely hood of knowing about it. 

There are  also lots of videos in which you can see both JI and KS smiling at banners of which their ship name had appeared:

And then there is the eery coincidence of JI mentioning that one of his favorite songs was “Montreal” by the weekend, 4 years after it was used in a FMV for a kaisoo fanfic called “Arbitrage”:



Has he read the actual fic? Most likely not. But its possible he may have seen seen the FMV which included clips of him with KS as well.

I want to reiterate agian that this post is not to say that its okay to post sexual works of idol pairings in places that they will see it. Of course it should stay among shippers only. What Im saying is that on a website like tumblr, an idol from south Korea is not likely to see what shippers post and even still, because there are shippers who share things externally and search engines exist…there is the possibility that an idol has already seen what you’re trying to keep from them.


Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, shipping is and always has been apart of the kpop industry. We know it, the companies know it and idols know it too.


With the internet being such an open way of communicating and sharing things for so many people, its only a matter of time before some nsfw shipping art is leaked on a platform that makes it more accessible to idols. But this is not something that you can blame shipping itself(especially when it is encouraged) or the MAJORITY of shippers for. The majority of us are not sending our NSFW kaisoo art and fics directly to KS and JI themselves. It was even Kaisoo shippers themselves who used our voices to stop the film adaptation of Anterograde Tomorrow in an effort to protect Kaisoo. The majority of us are just talking among ourselves on exclusive and private platforms and sharing our imagination in the form of art.


Every now and then someone may leak things that should have been kept private. But that is an issue for THOSE shippers, not shippers and shipping as a whole. There are good and not so good people in all fandoms, and there is nothing wrong with artistic expression among fans.


So in short, to answer your question…I (clearly) wonder sometimes if Kaisoo has seen what things shippers post about them all the time. I do acknowledge the possibility that they also may have seen these works. I do wonder how it makes them feel, but I also know that they are adults and if they do feel uncomfortable or if they feel its disrespectful they will tell us/show us in their own way and we don’t have to worry about protecting them from things like this. :)

anonymous asked:

Are there any list or compilation of characters making snide comments or subtle notice that there are something more than just a profound bond between Cas and Dean? Also, why did Aaron choose to flirt with Dean to hide the fact that he was tailing him? They never met, so what tipped him off, and that it worked so well?

Hi! well, a while ago I made this post.

So we have… off the top of my head:

Balthazar, Meg, Naomi, Lucifer, Charlie, Benny, Hester, Crowley, Amara, Metatron, Ishim, Nora, Bobby, Sam and Cain… basically MOST of the characters who either know them well enough individually or have seen them together for more than 30 seconds.

My favourites though are Crowley, Lucifer and Amara

Crowley because he knows them both so well. He teases Cas about Dean being his boyfriend, calls Cas a “love slave”, ‘saves’ Cas in order to make Dean human again because he knows he needs Cas for this, he teases Dean about their own escapades as demon!dean, with Dean it’s less about Cas and more about Dean/him as he is jealous, teases him about being able to shove the bomb where the sun don’t shine “well, you could…” etc.

source:

@impala-sunsets

Amara literally is the Anti-Cas throughout all of season 11, the bond overrinding his free will, but her bond is not as strong as Cas and Dean’s, despite being God’s sister, she has to use Cas to get through to Dean, she only appears when Dean is longing for Cas or when Sam mentions Angels for example. She also exposes that Dean REPRESENTS Humanity, a hark back to Metatron’s “Cas is in love with Humanity”, wow this story is so layered it takes YEARS for pieces of the puzzle to be made obvious, by which time the GA have probably forgotten, but we haven’t and when people rewatch once it is canonically acknowledged I’m sure there will be floods of people going “OHHHH I see now when they did THIS and THAT it was because they’ve been in love all along!”.

When she then is portrayed as caring about Dean, she exposes his emotions, his feelings of love and shame (as the love monster, but it still counts as it is her representation and the monster literally says “who I am is not important” ie. THE WRITERS SAYING LOOK AT WHAT THIS MONSTER IS SAYING BECAUSE ITS TRUE), of his self worth and his feelings for CAS, which have been the overriding theme of all of Dean’s story for the end of the season, which Amara USED to get close to him… I mean JEEZ exposition much? 

The whole season’s plot makes no sense if you don’t see Dean as so deeply in love with Cas that the big bad uses it in her own storyline, the plot for the WHOLE SEASON RESTS ON IT. 

Originally posted by casclaire

Lucifer because he was inside Cas so canonically knows how he feels… Tbh I’m still waiting for this to come out at some point… probably towards the end of Lucifer’s story we should get some kind of reference to him using Dean to get to Cas or just coming out with it as he is a master manipulator , of course he would use this against them, he knows, he should do something with this information, I’M WAITING!

Originally posted by driverpicksthemuusic

Re: Aaron, Aaron was SMART. 

Tbh I think he just thought that Dean would be super uncomfortable and back off if he was hit on by a dude, as most guys would, it’s a great tactic. 

BUT Dean actually gets flustered and looks like he might actually be interested… so Aaron is like SHIT and basically then backs off himself, trying to tie up the conversation and move Dean along. Luckily for him Dean’s phone rings. But if you watch it, Aaron is hitting on Dean up to the point where it seems like Dean might actually be interested, then he completely changes to trying to end the conversation. 

He’s all “have a good night” instead of actually trying to get a date out of him as he would if he was really interested after Dean made the face he does when he says “is that supposed to make you less interesting?”.

source: @caffeinedeathwarrior

JUST LOOK AT AARON’S FACE FALL!!!

Aaron thought that last flirtation would be the nail in the coffin to make a straight guy get so uncomfortable he’d end the conversation and walk away, but Dean pulls that face and Aaron’s FACE! He’s like SHIT CHANGE TACTIC, ABORT ABORT! 

It’s awesome.

Same as most of my meta on Dean being bi, its often not actually about Dean himself or the top layer, it’s other peoples reactions to it (the Siren for instance), I LOVE this moment.

Better This Way (Chapter Four)

This chapter gets a little sad guys. But come on, we all knew some angst was coming. This isnt even the bad angst, I promise.

Can’t wait to hear what you guys think. Like and Reblog for me! If we break 200 likes/ reblogs before dinner (its 8 am my time) Ill post chapter five too!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :)
****************

“Wade.” Peter looked up when the familiar red and black suit clambered up over the edge of the roof and plopped down next to him. “How’s it going?” He took a deep breath, Wade’s heavy scent of electric and wild making him smile.

“Oh you know.” Wade rolled his shoulders. “Amazing. Just off being fabulous. And sexy. All that. You know how we do, Spidey.”

“Sure.” Peter laughed and handed him a sandwich. “What was I thinking, asking about that?”

Just like he did every day, Wade took the food and turned away from Peter to eat. And just like Peter had done every day in the few weeks since his heat, he grabbed Wade’s wrist and tugged him back around so they were sitting right next to each other while they ate.

“I don’t know why you keep doing that.” He grumbled and the Alpha snorted.

“I don’t why you keep doing that. Nothing under this mask that you need to see Spidey-babe. My skin isn’t near as clear and perfect and puberty free as yours.”

“We’ve been over this. I’m definitely twenty-two. Already went through puberty.”  

“Whatever you say. You got freckles don’t you?” Wade accused. “Damn kid.”

“You want to find out?” Peter challenged, only half teasing, “Wanna see if I got freckles, Wade?”

“Yeah right.” Wade laughed a little. “Better keep your mask on Spidey, I’m sure your beauty would blind me.”

“Yeah?” Peter’s voice softened. “And what about yours?”

Keep reading

watching this and i want to scream????? 

  • apparently sanha bleaches his hair every three days ??? fantagio this can’t be healthy 
  • bin’s wearing a shirt that has ‘merman’ on it asdfjlKJAHSDLK time to cry
  • bin wanted to be a swordsman but then after that he wanTED TO BE AN ASTRONAUT BECAUSE HE LOVES SPACE I’M YELLING
  • lmao bin saying that he wants to go to space maybe when it’s possible when he’s 70-80 and the mc telling him to earn enough money first lmAOOOO
  • ALSO I’M YELLING THEY’RE DOING THE CHORUS OF BABY ACAPELLA 
  • apparently there are three point dances to baby:
    • ‘gentlemen’ actions like spraying perfume (the first part) and cuffing their shirts (the last part)
    • ‘saying hello’ in the slidey chorus part (‘a butterfly,’ rocky says, ‘but also like, don’t come near my face’)
    • the ‘butterfly dance’ because rocky made it (i assume this is in reference to the ‘the floor is lava’ jump)
  • mj describing i’ll be there as a ‘goodnight goodnight’ song and everyone cackling and correcting him & bin: “it’s every minute u bitch” and everyone laughing again becaUSE IT’S DREAM NIGHT SON
  • mj choosing because it’s you as his fave song
  • eunwoo picking i’ll be there and lie 
  • mj interrupting to ask if he could eat the watermelon LOL
  • eunwoo telling him to go ‘goodnight goodnight’ after eating i live for savage eunwoo
  • IM CRYIGN everyone singing i’ll be there acapella 
    • but rocky just snorting to himself instead of singing and jinjin slapping rocky on the neck 
    • mc: ????
    • rocky: ‘everyone’s singing but then i’m hearing jinjin sing and he goT THE MELODY WRONG’
    • jinjin: ‘i’m a rapper!!’ :D
  • now they have games 
  • eunwoo not being able to rip the sticker off the board properly LOL
  • they’re singing baby in different styles 
    • mj about 2 sing baby in the style of troT!!! members complimenting that he’s good at singing trot
    • SANHA ASDKJHFASD HE’S SINGING BABY AS A BABY SONG I’M RIOTING
    • mj slapping him on the neck sAme
    • mj slAYING HIS TROT
    • AKJSDFHALSKJDFH BIN SAYS HE’S GOING TO DO A SEXY VERSION
    • update: i’m deAD HE’S JUST MAKING UNNECESSARY BREATHY NOISES I’M
    • jinjin saying it just sounds like a 變熊 version (?? idk what this is)
    • BIN MOANED THE ‘OH’ I’M ADSAJKLJHKJHFLASLHKJDF
    • rip vivi 2k17
    • eunwoo doing an idiot version (do u remember donggu from that one astro play where dongmin put on those weird glasses and acted like an idiot)
    • astro dying of laughter 
    • rip astro 2k17
    • jinjin clearing his throat because someone suggested a nursery song style and he’s abouT TO FALSETTO IT 
    • jinjin’s voice cracking i’m cryign
    • he’s not falsettoing it he’s just screaming i’mlauggh i love jinjin
    • saucy wink
    • rocky about 2 drop a saTOORI VERSION I’M !!
  • sanha has to act something out and everyone has to guess
    • sanha flopping around 
      • everyone guessing different types of birds
      • mj: “pufferfish???”
      • sanha: yEs
    • seal sanha + doggo sanha 
    • cat sanha
      • everyone guessing ‘cat’
      • eunwoo: ‘aoa sunbaenims????’ ibtch whAt
    • sanha being a gorilla
      • everyone saying ‘gorilla’
      • mj: ‘ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY’
    • sanha being another type of monkey (?)
      • everyone guessing different types of monkeys
      • mj: ‘ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY’ 
      • sanha acting out a third different kind of monkey (i think orang utan???)
      • mj: ‘ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!!!!!’ 
      • mc: whY IS EVERYONE ROCKY
      • also mj: ‘SANHA’ asdfasjdf
    • sanha being another bird (?)
    • bunny sanha + lion sanha + koala sanha
    • caption: “go to the zoo, you’ll fit right in” HAHAHHAHAHAHA
  • next game: astro has to pick 2 members and say 5 sentences that will move the viewer’s heart (??? flirting w the camera?)
    • bin volunteering mj
    • mj: LISTEN IT’S NOT JUST GOING TO BE HEART-MOVING IT’S GOING TO BE HEART-STOPPING
    • mj, reciting the chorus of baby while rubbing his lip
    • astro: ‘stoP RECITING BABY LYICS’
    • mj: godMAMA
      • “you believe in oppa, right?”
      • “you should only look at me”
      • mj stopping becauSE EVERYONE KEEPS LAUGHING AT HIM
      • “sunbae, i love you”
      • “noona, daTE ME PLS”
      • “aunty, you’re really pretty!!”
      • conclusion: i love mj
    • mj volunteerING JINJIN I’M CRYIGN 
    • jinjin taking deep breaths
      • jinjin: ‘darling…’, smirking then bursting out laughing a,dfjhasadh
      • bin: ‘IM GON PUKE’
      • jinjin: ‘let’s go out & get coffee!!’
      • jinjin, grabbing rocky’s neck: “do u want 2 kiss me”
      • rockY LOOKING HORRIFIED
      • everyone begging him to redo it 
      • jinjin: ‘next time i’ll be better to you’
      • everYONE BEGGING HIM TO REDO EVERYTHING & jinjin pretending not to hear
      • jinjin, sending a heart kiss: i love u!! and everyone finally acknowledging it as the first sentence
      • jinjin: what do you meAN I FINISHED ALL 5
    • them volunteering eunwoo instead 
    • ‘manhwa version!!’ and astro singing the shalalala~ backing track
    • eunwoo: ‘actually… i’ve liked you for a long time from afar… date me?’
    • astro clapping in defeat nobody can beat the king of flirting
    • also astro: ‘why am i uncomfortable suddenly’ saMe
  • last one: who’s the best at taking selfies?
    • nearly everyone pointing at sanha 
    • bin pointing at himself then sanha LMAOOOO
    • eunwoo pointing at himself LOL
    • eunwoo changing his vote to rocky
    • sanha getting 4 votes and rocky getting 2 becauSE HE VOTED FOR HIMSELF
    • “ROCKY SWAG” ASKDFLHKADS
    • baby sanha demonstrating his 4 cut fairy i’m so !!!!! my heart is !!!!!! he’s so pure!!!!!!
    • everyone posing for a photo and mj beaming and bin doing the three claw baby bear thing my heart is weeping i love that pose so much
    • eunwoo winking and jinjin being cute!!
    • ROCKY JUST BEING SWAG I’M
  • this is singularly the most ~astro~ video i’ve watched this week i’m crying i love it 

there’ll probably be subs out there somewhere but meanwhile this is what i can do rip i wish i had translating software and time because this is the funniest shit everyone needs to watch it

My town has its own video games festival that has existed ever since a mandate was passed in order to “rebuild the cultural foundations” of the town. This festival has always roughly coincided with E3, possibly in order to draw in visitors during a time when video games are a trending subject, but ironically this seems to hamper attendance to the festival since more people are interested in the much larger and undoubtedly more important E3 conferences. For this reason, I usually miss out on my local video games festival. My town has a number of thoroughly obscure and unremarkable game developers, and though I certainly appreciate that someone is facilitating gamer culture within in my depressed, dying town, I couldn’t care less about their output.

Most of the animosity I feel towards my local game developers stems from the one time that I actually did visit this festival. It was some years ago on a insufferably hot and humid June afternoon. I was in the town center running errands and I wanted to get out of the heat. I was broke from spending all of my money on important matters, so I couldn’t justify patronizing some restaurant. I also didn’t want to go to my local library for a reason that I’m secretive of, but may share with you all in the future. So, what caught my eyes was the town recreational center, a drab box-shaped building that usually bled misery but, at the time, had an enticing sign sitting at its entrance. This sign, a immaculate depiction of Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Master Chief holding hands in solidarity, was what drew me into the festival, as I knew whoever drew such an image could be considered my kin - I am a gamer.

So, enticed by my gamer spirit and my need to get out of the heat, I entered the recreational center. The festival was poorly attended, with only a few other visitors aside from myself, all of whom seemed to be more interested in being out of the heat rather than checking out the few booths that made up the festival. There was some attempt to redecorate the recreation center, but they failed to drown out the inherent misery of the place. There was a bad life-sized and garish paper mache statue of Mario that stood at the center of the recreational center and existed in stark contrast to the uneven gray concrete of the floor and bland greenish coloring of the rest of the place. On one wall was an inordinate amount of video game posters that were pasted haphazardly on top of each other, and seemed to be hiding something rather than being there for the sake of decoration. You could tell that the wall was badly damaged as if something had collided into it, and it was moist with some viscous liquid which was dripping onto the floor. I didn’t bother to see if it was glue or not as the whole appearance of the thing made me uncomfortable and I preferred to stay away.

However, what struck me the most about the festival wasn’t the miserable, downtrodden nature of the event - trust me, that’s a given in my city. Rather, it was the complete lack of original personality it had. The few people manning the booths were dressed as already well known and established video game characters. There wasn’t an ounce of local charm there. Furthermore, there didn’t even seem to be any video games on display anywhere, which one usually expects from a so called “video game festival”. I asked a woman dressed as Samus Aran (as far as I could tell, at least. She was only wearing a pair of blue overalls and her hair was dyed an unnatural blonde, so I assumed she was Samus), and she didn’t respond to me, but did achingly point her finger at a door near the back of the recreational center, a door that I recognized as the entrance of the unisex bathroom.

This bathroom was notoriously disgusting, and I thought the woman may have misheard me, so I asked again. She simply kept on pointing. So I reluctantly went into the bathroom. The bathroom light didn’t work and the smell was horrendous, but sure enough there was a game console in there. It was hooked to a small CRT television that was illuminating the bathroom with white static. This television was placed in one of the sinks and a chair was sat in front of it. There was no controller, so I simply sat in the chair, thinking that I may be attended to. Instead, the games simply began.

Rocky Rabbit: Was a platformer which, if the game had conventional controls, would have had horrible controls. You controlled the titular Rocky Rabbit, who wasn’t a rabbit or anything for that matter. His sprite constantly changed as did his goals. For the most part, however, you simply moved him from platform to platform, sometimes talking to NPCs who all treated Rocky with absolute derision. The game had 24 levels and ended with Rocky giving up on his quest as he realized he was dehumanized and no longer a being of conventional flesh and bone.

Assault Squadron 57: Was a first person shooter in the style of CoD which started out normal enough. You were part of an American troupe of soldiers that was tasked with taking out a group of North Korean terrorists who had taken control of parts of Washington DC. The game began with you storming the White House to find that it was only an endless building full of rooms. Each room had a unique piece of artwork that you could interact with. Interacting with the artwork gave you the history of the piece and its creator. Sometimes these pieces had very intricate histories that seemed to be longer than the game itself, a game that was infinite in and of itself.

Mario 10: Was something of an incoherent racing game. You played a blood cell that had to race from the heart to the brain, but the game couldn’t decide if it was really that. I had many conversations with this game that was conflicted in what it was or who it wanted to be. It made several references to Assault Squadron 57, and it felt as if I was just playing Assault Squadron 57 again at times. When you paused the game, it would play a cutscene with a message from the developers that assured the game was the most accurate blood racing simulator to ever be created. It play this cutscene in full and it could never be skipped.

The All Encompassing You: Was a point and click adventure game about a woman who visits the house of her estranged husband only to find him missing. This game also had numerous references to Assault Squadron 57, many of them regarding Assault Squadron 57 as the “perfect video game”. I wasn’t able to converse with this game, unlike Mario 10. As the game’s plot unfolds, you find out that the husband didn’t know if he was really himself and claimed that he could see himself physically changing into beings that “weren’t human, and weren’t non-human, just things that weren’t anything at all”. I stopped playing the game when I got stuck on an impossible puzzle that seemed to continuously grow more convoluted each minute it wasn’t solved.

La Petite Mort: Was a JRPG in the style of old Final Fantasy games. You controlled a warrior and his troupe who were meant to travel to the heart of their country and slay a dragon there. A recurring theme in the plot was the inability of lights to work, and the world becoming increasingly dark. The characters in your party and many NPCs would constantly comment on how they no longer feel like themselves, or that they are no longer “beings with coherent and saintly identities”. The game eventually became too dark and I was unable to make out what was happening in it.

The TV cut off after La Petite Mort, and I had to stumble out of the bathroom in darkness. Some genius had decided to move that ugly Mario sculpture in front of the bathroom, so I knocked it over, not caring about what actually happened to the thing. A large amount of time had passed since I entered the bathroom and it was night. Only one light remained on in the recreation center. It hung above the last open booth. A shirtless man sat in the booth and was staring daggers into me. I don’t know if he was offended by my treatment of the Mario statue, but he wouldn’t take his eyes off of me. I quickly made my way out of the recreation center and rushed home.

I haven’t been to my town’s video games festival since, and I don’t know of anyone else who has either. Still, they continue to hold them each year. Whenever they begin, I try to avoid the recreational center as much as I possibly can. Not out of fear, but out of sheer animosity for the people who run the festival, if you can even call them people. They have no vision, no personality, no thoughts, and no future. They’re beings in a existential flux, attempting to manifest themselves through art and failing miserably. I could attend this year’s festival, it’s ongoing now, but what would be the point? I’ve played every type of game they have to offer. They’re all futile and miserable and without purpose, the result of a void attempting to make itself material in a world already full of people who have given up on any noble goal, or any reason to seek meaning in a universe so devoid of any.

Our experience at Dashcon 2014

I’ve been trying to decide whether or not I actually want to talk about our Dashcon experience.  If you know us IRL you’ll know that my wife and I recently went on a trip to Canada/Chicago purely to attend Dashcon.  And following what happened with the convention, I was in two minds.  Do we simply wash our hands of the whole situation, or do we talk about what happened?

Given that my wife received an anonymous message on her blog telling her to go and hang herself, I was leaning more toward the former.  I almost wanted to pretend like we were never there.  But after reading almost everything about the disaster, I think there are a couple of things that need to be said from our perspective.

Keep reading

Teacher

Author’s Note: Hey guys! @lucifer-in-leather sent this gif in to me a while ago (sorry this took so long!) and I decided to combine it with a challenge…it seemed to fit well! This is for @beckawinchester ‘s Birthday Challenge! Prompt will be bolded in the fic. I hope you enjoy it and as always feedback is welcome and appreciated! I love all of you. If you would like to join my tag list, send me an ask. I don’t bite. ;)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,000-ish

Warnings: Fluff, SMUT, Language

Prompts: #5 “How the hell am I supposed to fit in that?” and #1 Bar (Place)

Song: “Teacher” by Nick Jonas (I highly suggest you listen to this song. I love it!)

Originally posted by frozen-delight

“Fort Wayne, Indiana,” Sam confidently slid his laptop toward you as you sipped on your whiskey while Dean sighed and laid his head back in frustration. “String of female deaths at a bar. Apparently they do an amateur night for girls to dance up on the bar. The girls make some tips while they compete. The top two girls who collect the most cash move on to the finals, ya-da ya-da…”

You rolled your eyes and set your drink down, “Classy.”

“But get this,” Sam started and Dean raised his eyebrows expectantly, “The past three females that have died were one of the finalists. All found in the same dressing room. No forced entry, no sign of struggle. And the cameras show no one going in or out of the room but the girls.”

“Coyote Ugly gone bad,” You muttered and Dean snickered, enjoying your reference. “I will assist on this hunt under one condition…I am not dancing on a bar under any circumstances. You understand me?”

“Crystal clear,” Sam smiled and you stood up, then made your way to your room in the bunker to start packing. “Let’s leave within the hour.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I feel down after the new episode, do you think it is still possible that dean will stop sleeping around with women and get together with cas? idk i feel like it will never end and since 11x23 we've seen dean repeat too much that cas is a brother/best friend and it's starting to make me nervous

Well, Dean is a single man, not in a committed relationship (even if WE can clearly see he’s obviously married to Cas), who is allowed to sleep with whoever he wants. Period. But there are some things in that whole scene in the Pickle Jack Shack. And I mean really… the whole place is a sexual innuendo.

Sorry for my “photo of the tv screen screencapping” but… that phallic pickle protruding from the bull riding sign? Ooookay.

(this is also for my two anons asking about what the significance of “Riding Larry” is, so heads up. All will be revealed!)

Also, isn’t it awesome that Sam picked agents Moon and Entwhistle– the two deceased members of The Who as their aliases. THE WHO? on the nose aliases there.

Dean had been “Springsteen, like the Boss” the night before when he’d been talking with her. After she agrees to tell them everything that happened, here’s what she says, with my commentary in parenthesis:

Elke: He ordered burgers to go. It was gonna be a minute. We were slammed. And you knocked back… four shots of tequila?

(already yet another implication that Dean had been drunk, when four shots of tequila for him is probably a warm up)

Elke: Put some (finger quotes) “sick jams” on the juke, and then you hit the bull.

Sam: he what?

Dean: I what?

Elke: Oh yeah, you had the hots for Larry as soon as you walked in here.

(immediately setting an entirely different tone for this conversation, by presenting Dean’s interest in Larry– the mechanical bull with a huge pickle for a phallus– as sexual. Larry is a man’s name, and Dean had “the hots” for him.)

Sam: (quite befuddled by this) He… Dean… you rode Larry?

Dean: (considers this for a minute) Was I good?

Elke: You were– amazing.

(Dean processes that– the fact that he apparently demonstrated skill at riding Larry, and then hums in acceptance of the fact. He smiles. Elke smiles, Sam rolls his eyes so hard he nearly pulls a muscle).

Elke: Anyway, We got to talking, and… you know…

(remember what she’d said earlier, that they were “slammed,” meaning overwhelmed by a rush of customers. Not exactly the sort of situation in which a waitress can “get to talking” with a customer just waiting around for his dinner order to be ready, you know? I already suspect that Elke realizes that Dean WAS roofied here, and didn’t exactly remember what he’d said or done with her… AND THIS I BELIEVE WAS HER TEST TO PROVE IT. She needed to confirm whether he did or didn’t remember what had happened. I’ll quote her here, and then explain afterward)

Elke: (in response to Dean’s complete straight-faced, emotionless waiting for her answer) We blew off some steam.

(Dean STILL has to stop and work out exactly what she means, and then when it registers, Dean only replies with a surprised little “Ah!” Not seeming to recall anything. Because he didn’t. And this doesn’t seem to bother Elke. Because she’s already been told that he was “roofied.” Because most folks would be upset that someone had no obvious response to the confirmation that they’d apparently had sex… It’s kinda insulting, you know? BUT ELKE WAS NOT INSULTED BY DEAN’S LACK OF ANY SORT OF RESPONSE TO THIS INFORMATION. Like the slap to his face earlier implied she would be.)

Sam: Did you see him talking with anyone else?

Elke: My bartender said she saw him run out of here like his pants caught on fire. We were supposed to meet up after close-up. But you never showed… 

(Dean looks lost again)

Elke: Poor thing, you were all roofed up! I didn’t… I am so sorry if I took advantage of you.

Dean: (smiling uncomfortably… because yeah… and patting her on the arm) It’s okay.

(Sam asks if they have security cameras and then the scene shifts to Sam and Dean sitting at a table watching security footage on a laptop)

Dean: First action in I don’t know how long, and it’s like it never even happened. Figures.

Sam: Ha. See now that’s comedy.


Okay, now HERE’S THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING THIS SCENE: waffles.

Yes, waffles.

Who doesn’t love waffles? May I direct you to the Waffle Masterpost, containing EVERY reference to waffles ever on this show (well, aside from this episode, but I’ll update it in a bit here…)

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/156133372175/have-we-ever-seen-waffles-on-the-show-outside-of

But what it boils down to is the fact that waffles in this show share some of the same symbolism with El Sol beer. And if it wasn’t clear enough, there was a huge glowing El Sol sign there for good measure.

But as soon as Dean spotted Elke when he and Sam walked into the bar, he identified her as, “the girl from the waffles.” SHE WAS AN ILLUSION, A DECEPTION. She was the girl from the waffles. Waffles being a “more innocent deception” than El Sol.

Because her story of what she and Dean did contradicts itself. Either they were “slammed” to the point that they were so busy that Dean had to wait so long for his food that he not only had multiple shots of tequila but ALSO had time to ride Larry, or she and Dean had time for a leisurely chat and even MORE time to take a break and go somewhere to “blow off some steam.”

Which was it, lady?

She only knew that Dean LEFT, in fact “ran out of here like his pants caught on fire,” because HER BARTENDER told her. Because Elke was “slammed” with customers. THIS IS WHY SHE SLAPPED HIM. Because Dean ran out before her shift ended, when they were supposed to meet up. He ditched her, and then “pretended” not to even recognize her, after having chatted her up and made plans for after her apparently very busy shift, and that’s why I think she was just fucking with him here.

I mean, either she was so busy that Dean had to wait for service, or she had enough time to have some sort of long talk and a quickie in the bathroom or the alley or wherever. WHICH WAS IT, ELKE?!

So in the conversation that revolved around the fact that Dean had been “roofied,” bookended by “the girl from the waffles” and Dean’s assertion that it was “like it never even happened,” well…

I have serious doubts that anything really DID happen.

I mean, I think he was planning on something happening. He was going to go back after her shift to meet up with her… possibly… but did he ever even get his burgers?! 

And without his memories, is it weird that it took THREE TRIES to find the place Dean had gone that night. That place was the third one they checked out, and Sam would’ve followed the same sort of Hunter Logic in trying to find the burger joint Dean went to, probably starting with the one closest to their motel and working his way out. So Dean bypassed two other perfectly good burger places to walk to THIS PLACE SPECIFICALLY. This place that advertised the mechanical bull riding.

This place where Elke confirmed that Dean “had the hots for Larry as soon as he walked in.”

Dean went out of his way to get a burger from THIS PLACE not because he didn’t think the other burger places were any good, but BECAUSE HE WANTED TO RIDE THE MECHANICAL BULL. My guess? He probably saw the sign on their way back to the motel, and he gave the excuse to Sam that he was going out for burgers while Sam did the research SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SNEAK OUT AND RIDE LARRY.

I mean… ???? This is one of those things that Performing Dean would NEVER do, would NEVER ADMIT TO SAM that he would do. Which is why Sam was so ?????? that Dean actually RODE LARRY.

Because Dean hadn’t been “roofied” yet at that point. That was all Dean.

He wanted to do something silly and fun and homoerotic without being judged for it. This is the same Dean that unapologetically loves Finding Nemo. And waffles…

So he has a few shots of liquid courage and climbs on Larry. We see that scene at the end of the episode. He fully gets that memory back, and what appear to be snippets of Hexed Dean Moments… and yet he gets no memories back of his “blowing off some steam” with Elke.

Because it’s like it never even happened.

I think Elke was slowly realizing throughout her conversation that Sam and Dean weren’t lying about Dean not remembering anything from the night before. So she went from angry over having been stood up and Dean “pretending” he didn’t even remember her, to passive-aggressively answering their questions… to noticing Sam and Dean’s bizarre reactions to hearing that he gleefully rode Larry… and then I think threw in the bit about blowing off steam with him just to see his reaction.

He seemed genuinely incapable of either confirming or denying it, and took her word for it that they did something sexual. He wasn’t gross about it, he didn’t elaborate on her assertion, nor did he immediately deny it either. He just accepted her word and moved on.

Notice immediately after that point she distances herself from Dean with her words… not “he ran out” or “I saw him run out, but “my bartender said she saw him run out.” BECAUSE ELKE HERSELF WAS “SLAMMED.” She was busy DOING HER JOB. She didn’t even SEE him run out without his food.

And really, how the hell long was he there, if he had multiple shots while waiting for the burgers, picked songs on the jukebox, rode Larry, made plans for after work with Elke (that he may or may not have intended to follow up on) while sitting at the bar while SHE WAS BUSY WORKING. Long enough after all that for her to not even notice him suddenly run out? BEFORE HE EVEN GOT HIS BURGERS?!

Like, how the hell long does it take to flip a couple of burgers? 15? 20 minutes tops? Even if they’re slammed?

And he still managed to do ALL THAT ^^ WHILE WAITING?

And then as Dean and Sam ran out the back door, we can see a GIANT glowing El Sol sign just inside the bar.

EVERYTHING that happened in there, aside from Dean riding Larry, was an illusion that started with the girl from the waffles and ended with him escaping out the back door past an El Sol sign.

The ONLY thing we actually SEE that was TRUE was that Dean rode Larry.

(aside to note that Dean confirmed himself that he hasn’t had any “action” in so long he can’t even remember when it happened…)

And for my Larry anons, I have no idea if “Riding Larry” is an idiom, but “riding” is a sexual innuendo. And the implication that Dean rode Larry… well… I mean just watch him and tell me what you think is going on there… Dean… riding a dude called Larry… it’s not complex math here.

(and heck here’s another reference… that time Dean WAS roofied in 9.13… SWEET POTATOES. Salted caramel. Best of both worlds. Salty and sweet. and that reminds me of the other “sweet” references lately in relation to angels… and we’re down the rabbit hole again)

On Fics, Privacy, and the Fourth Wall

Before I start this post I want to make it clear that this is not an attack on anyone. I truly value and adore each person I’ve had the privilege of interacting with in the fic side of the Hamilton fandom and I’m really not trying to start drama. I don’t want to fight with anyone. None of this is meant as a direct personal criticism of any ONE person in particular, it’s just some thoughts I’ve been having about the fandom as a whole and some personal feelings about my work, etc. I truly love this fandom and the people I’ve met here, but I’ve been in too many other fandoms and seen them get torn apart by this sort of thing. I don’t want that for this fandom, which is the only reason I’m even saying anything.

Keep reading

On the complexity of words in our racialized and colonialized world, and my own liminality...

TW: Discussion of the term “g*psy,” which I know may be a triggering word to some of my American followers in particular. I’ve done my best to tag this. Let me know if I’ve left something out.

So I need to talk about this. I really don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to be attacked for doing so. But this is my life in a super literal way, and I am taking time to process all this, with my cultural background, and my personal history, and my non-belonginess, and all the other super heavy baggage I have, and my society has, with this word and this way of life.

I’ve seen the occasional post on here talking about the culture on Tumblr of sometimes oversimplifying their activism and not understanding the full breadth of certain issues, and I’m kicking myself for it even as I type, but… today I’d like to address the international complexity of the term “gypsy.” Specifically, its use in the UK.

(Oh god, what am I doing sticking my foot in this hornet’s nest…)

All I ask is that you really just read this before you rip my head off, yeah? Please. I need to talk about this.

That word does not mean the same thing here that it means in the US, where I come from.

In America, it’s a pretty negative word to a lot of people of any degree of social consciousness. In America, that word is associated almost exclusively with the Romani people, an extremely marginalized group of POC who’ve been subject to every type of violence in existence, up to and including genocide. It is almost always used as either a slur, or an ignorantly appropriative capitalist tool. They’re the only well-known group of nomadic people Americans are familiar with in relatively modern times (since most nomadic Natives were killed or had their seasonal routes cut off long ago), and naturally, it has therefore remained a very racialized term in America. As a general rule, all nomadic peoples known to Americans are POC who have suffered genocide, sometimes to the point of extinction.

It’s fucking heavy. And that is what my brain still emotionally understands, when I hear that word. I’ve felt, and feel, that ickiness listening to someone use that word carelessly, or as if it were a trendy aesthetic™. This post is hard to write, because I have to use it.

So, Americans, I get this. ‘K? Me too. And Brits, if you’ve ever wondered why this strikes such a chord with Americans, that’s why, and this might be some handy knowledge for you to have when traveling to the US: “gypsy” is not a nice word in the US, and “Traveller” isn’t a term most Americans will recognize. We don’t have any legislation protecting Traveller rights, the way you do (inadequate as they may be). If you want to refer to the Romani, use Romani. If you want to refer to Travellers as a diverse group, use “nomadic people.”

But now I live in the UK. In the UK, “gypsy” is a government-official term, and people refer to themselves and others by this term routinely. And most confusingly, to my American sensibilities, it has little to do with your ethnicity. Even ethnic gypsies are most frequently white British, in the UK (the UK has its own native nomadic populations, especially from Ireland and Scotland). But there are also non-ethnic gypsies. It’s a term that refers more to your mode of living than to your race.

My gypsy neighbors are Irish, English, and Romani. The Irish Travellers and Romani obviously have an ethnic history of nomadism. But the ethnically English do not. He’s a Traveller, legally speaking, and part of larger gypsy society. And here, that is legally and culturally legitimate. He isn’t considered an ethnic minority, the way ethnic Travellers are, but culturally has a home under both terms.

There are other slurs in the UK for Travellers, of course. And there are also people who talk about them in a racist way (*cough* Tories *cough*). If I were to draw a comparison to American linguistics, “gypsy” in the UK is much like “queer” in America. It is simultaneously a neutral and inclusive word, and a word which is often found in the mouth of bigots. It has a complex history that has both highs and lows.

I still prefer to use Traveller, because I’m American and “gypsy” leaves a weird taste in my mouth. But that only works in writing, where it is capitalized. In speech, that term could just as easily mean kids on a gap year, and it isn’t useful for specifying nomadic people. So in speech… the word everyone uses is “gypsy.” This word which gives me the willies is now a normal part of my life. It is hard for me to get used to that. But also, apprehensively positive. What a wonderful community this is. It isn’t any stupid stereotypes. I mean, the dude a couple caravans down from me is a graphic designer. It’s just a really solid community of people who are just… really wonderful.

So… this is a major part of my existence right now. Please remember that Tumblr is an international community. Not everyone you see using that word is a racist throwing out a slur. Some of them aren’t even referring to the Romani. If they’re British, they’re probably more likely to be referring to the Irish, or to people of diverse or unknown ethnic backgrounds.

It may also be something I start talking about more often, because this is now my life. I live on wheels, in a mostly Traveller community. Legally, I’m a “New Traveller” (and the idea of referring to myself that way sends off a degree of appropriative heebjeebies that’s just unbelievable, but that is the fact of the matter). That is, I would be if anyone knew I was here. But the way these things are interacting for me, and how simultaneously uncomfortable and necessary it is to learn about them given my cultural background, means that it is something that is likely to come up. Something I will need to talk about. A consuming part of my life at the moment.

These people have taken me in, in a very real way that pretty much makes me cry when I think about it. They’ve fed me, and kept me warm, and helped me keep this hell shed from tipping over. They’ve gifted me things for my craft – the part of my life this blog is about. I don’t want to avoid talking about them as they talk about themselves, or understanding the way my self-perception is changing as this is happening, for fear I’ll be mistaken for an asshole. It feels like hiding who they proudly are, because the culture I come from has a different history than they do. I don’t live in that culture anymore, and probably never will again. I need to find some way of reconciling the dissonance with the way my life is now.

I don’t think any of this takes away from the complexity of that term. And to all you goddamn Nazis, don’t you dare take this as a reason why it’s ok to fucking harass the Romani, or I swear I will hex the shit out of you. And since the UK tends to follow American trends, I wouldn’t be surprised if that term eventually goes out of vogue.

But today, it is a very different word from its American counterpart, which is essential for me to fully understand in the context of both my own life, and my experience of adopting my new culture as an immigrant. And I want people to understand where I and other people in Britain are coming from when we talk about it. And I feel a need to be understood in my own life right now.

So… This was probably unwise. I’ll take my blows I guess. I’m just reaching into the dark and hoping I’ll find some understanding. This is very much part of what kind of witch I’m becoming, and more broadly, what kind of human I’m becoming.

There’s a reason our villain was called the Watcher and not, say, the Melon Baller Eyeball Collector – as befits the majesty of his preferred stalking grounds, he was all about psychological terror. The name of his particular game was threatening letters. And although that could technically put him in a “disgruntled dude who lost the bidding war” or “guy who really hates neighbors” category, he pushed his way into horror movie territory with his … peculiar methods. Here are some choice quotes from his messages:

“The windows and doors allow me to watch you and track you as you move through the house. Who I am? I am the Watcher.”

“Have they found out what is in the walls yet? In time they will.”

Or, in reference to the family’s children:

“I am pleased to know your names now, and the name of the young blood you have brought to me.”

Hahahahaha! That’s awesome … ly, uh, awful for the family, that is. The letters kept coming, and as they included apt “young blood” references and hints that the writer actually did keep uncomfortably close tabs on the house and its renovations, the family was too afraid to make the house their home. In fact, they never dared to properly move in.

What really makes this one for me is that as a horror movie, it’s clearly a sequel. Not only does the family heavily insinuate that the previous owners who sold the house to them were already all too aware of The Watcher, the Watcher himself started his campaign of terror (a mere three days after they bought the house in 2014) with a statement that his grandfather and father had watched the house before him, and it now fell on him to “wait for its second coming.”

5 Real Stories That Are Just Horror Films Come To Life

nyxwolf98  asked:

Hi! I just had a quick question about the pride parade and the police float, I am just really confused as to why the police aren't allowed to have a float?? I understand that the police haven't always been the best to the lgbtq+ community, but if they are included doesn't that help bring equality between them and the lgbtq+ community?? It's ok if you don't want to answer this I just want to know more and educate myself, thanks!!

These articles do a better job of explaining the history of Pride Toronto and why many people of colour are uncomfortable with Police marching in Pride, than I could on my own:

Desmond Cole: Pride has divorced blackness from queerness

Also it wasn’t just activists, or Black Lives Matter that are in favour of this. The organization of Pride Toronto supported this. Black Lives Matter did not bring forward a motion to Toronto Pride. It was brought forward independently.

Pride Toronto Votes To Remove Police Floats From Parade

She said the meeting chair initially resisted efforts to add the motion, which simply stated that Pride should adopt eight of the nine demands. One, a request to hold a town hall meeting, was dropped because it had already been fulfilled.

Bartleman said she and other members officially challenged the chair and had the item added, saying it received “overwhelming” support from what she estimated to be hundreds of people in the room.

Bartleman said championing the Black Lives Matter demands seemed a natural extension of her advocacy on behalf of the LGBTQ community.

“The Black Lives Matters issues and demands are queer demands,” she said. “There’s no separation for me between that.”

What’s the LGBT community saying about Pride Toronto’s decision on BLMTO’s demands?

Gary Kinsman, a long-time activist and a founding member of the Toronto Lesbian and Gay Pride Day Committee, seconded Bartleman’s initial motion and describes the vote as a “very, very significant development” and an attempt to “return Pride back to its more community-oriented and … radical roots.”

Kinsman says the demand to exclude uniformed police forces from participating in Pride festivities is important.

“Not only are the police attacking black people and other people of colour and trans people who are black and all sorts of other groups in our society, but they’ve also reverted to much more overtly doing sting operations against consensual queer sex among men,” he says, referring to the recent undercover sting at Marie Curtis Park.

He says it’s worth remembering that Pride was born in response to the Stonewall Riots —a rebellion against police oppression in New York City — and that the 1981 bathhouse raids in Toronto gave rise to the first Lesbian and Gay Pride Day here.

“When we remember all that, it was not only a significant victory for Black Lives Matter and people who support it, [but also] people who are very concerned about police violence and repression,” he says.

Also these articles are worth reading:

Exclusive: Black Lives Matter Toronto co-founder responds to Pride action criticism

Breaking down the arguments and mistruths against BLMTO’s Pride insurrection

anonymous asked:

you mentioned that you know a good amount about ancient greece and i would love to hear you elaborate more on that!!! capri is kind of a weird blend of multiple time periods and cultural influences and i was wondering what you thought akielon society/culture/religion/economy/political structure would really look like? feel free to ramble i need my historical accuracy fix for this fandom 😅

Oh wow, you want to hear me rant about this? That is, like, a huge gift because I rant about this constantly and I will take any excuse. :D 

Note: Before I start, this is mostly conjecture and headcanon. This also may not shed any light on what you’re interested in, dear Anon, because it’s mostly a load of waffle. I’m sorry if I didn’t explain any of the details about ancient Greece in enough detail, but this is really fucking long already. Google is your friend on any classical subjects you’re confused about.

Okay, the first thing I’m going to say is that, as a classicist, there are tons of things you can pick out as being different about Akielos. Akielos is a fantasy country, so it’s not identical to Greece or Rome (it’s sort of Reece sometimes?) and there is nothing wrong with it not fitting directly, even if it is inspired by those cultures. It’s made up and so I won’t try to nitpick.

Next thing about Capri’s universe in general is that Vere is probably 15th century France. I think this is really interesting to remember when thinking about relations between Vere and Akielos. When I met Pacat I talked to her about Veretian technology, and she explained that rather than scaling up Akielon/ancient world technology, she scaled down Veretian tech. In 15th century France they had gunpowder and really advanced ships etc. etc. so if Vere was that technologically advanced, and Akielos still had ancient Greek weapons and tech then obviously Vere would wipe the floor with Akielos in war. She toned down the Veretian technology but not the culture.

Note: Vask is, as far as I can see, complete fantasy. I imagine the language as Scandinavian but I think there might some inspiration from mythological Amazons.

Okay I’m trying to go through this more logically now. 

Akielon Society/Politics -

Akielos does have more of an honour culture than ancient Greece. Remember when Damen is uncomfortable with taking a fort through trickery? Yeah, ancient Greeks would have been fine with that, even commended it. I imagine the society as more like Macedonian society and less like Athenian culture (which obviously in the glory days was a democracy rather than a monarchy). The strongest do best, it’s a warrior culture, but there is also an informal relationship with the king. The Macedonians, for example, could call their king by his first name, and they elected their kings. Although Damen is referred to as ‘Exalted’, there is a sense of informality in his relations with the kyroi. He also needs the approval of the kyroi in ruling the country.

I just said I don’t see Akielos as similar at all to Athens, but there is one thing they have in common. I think the relationship between the king in Ios and the kyroi is a bit like the Delian League or the Peloponnesian League. I mean, obviously Athens exacted money and tribute from the city states in the Delian League (and they weren’t very happy about it), but it is clear that the kyroi retain more independent rule than, for example, the nobles in Vere, so one might describe them as more like tributary states and less like part of one country.

Akielos also bears some similarities to Sparta, as it clearly has more of a sport/hunting/land fighting culture than Athens, which was more interested in drama/philosophy/sailing. However, the Akielon slave culture is slightly more similar to Athens again. Spartans had the closest thing in the ancient world to an American slave culture, because the helots were a race of people they had enslaved. Athenians simply had slaves from all over. Akielon slaves don’t seem to be slaves because of their race (this is never ever mentioned), so in that respect it is less like Sparta.

Language Fact: Kyroi is the plural form of the ancient Greek noun κυρος, which means supreme power or authority. This further emphasises my idea that the kyroi have a lot of individual power. κυρος is also where we get the name Kyros (Cyrus) for Kyros the Great, the famous Persian king (the Persian names are very different to the Greek versions that we are familiar with).

Akielon Economy - 

I am guessing the Akielons use something like drachmas. If Akielos is like Greece geographically then they would not have had a lot of forests or woods and would need to trade something (such as silver, which Athens had a lot of) for wood. This may be why Akielos does not seem to have a great navy (as Athens is famous for - I repeat what I said about how Akielos is more like Macedon/Sparta than Athens). If Akielos’ main source of wood is Vere (Patras would be similar geographically and Vask would not provide easy trade, as it has no borders with Akielos) then they would not be able to build ships during wartime.

.Akielon Religion - 

This was another thing I asked Pacat about when I met her. She said she had originally wanted to create a universe where religion was very much in the background, barely there at all, so that it could reflect her own beliefs. However, she did mention in gods in the poem (probably inspired by Homer) in Kings Rising. I think religion is probably the area where the Capri universe differs most from its inspiration. If Akielos were Greece, Damen would constantly be praying to the gods he particularly worshipped, or making sacrifices before setting out for battle. There would also be a religious conflict between Vere, which if it is 15th century France would be monotheistic, and Akielos, which would be polytheistic. Since none of these are mentioned or explored in the books, we must assume that religion has faded in both countries. The gods mentioned in the poem might be specific to the island of Isthima which the poet came from or may be relics of a previous age. 

A helpful resource for those interested in the world of Captive Prince is this interactive map. There is a lot of information here on Akielon and Veretian culture that you don’t get explicitly in the books.  

Shameless self promotion: I also explore how Akielons might see Veretians the way that the Greeks saw Persians in my fanfic, Quiet Breaths.

Deadly Nightshade pt1

Requested by anon: “Could you do an imagine where you caught pan cheat on you but he regrets it and trys everything to make you forgive him”

Word count: 2,174

Warning: Swearing, violence, light smut,

This will be in two parts as I had too much happening and didn’t want it to be too long. I changed it up a little as I couldn’t really think of a way to have him cheat without that stuff I added. I hope it exceeds your expectations xx

MASTERLIST


  “Wake up,” Peter’s soft voice broke into my dreamless sleep as he shook my shoulder.

  “No,” I groaned.

  “There’s someone new on the island,” I could hear the smile in his voice.

I turned over to face him with an unhappy expression. “They better be the fuckin queen,”

  “No that’s you,” he chuckled before leaning over and kissing me. I smiled as I kissed him back.

  “Okay… fine… I’ll wake up,” I said between kisses.

He jumped up and tore open the curtains with no warning.

I shouted and covered my eyes as they hadn’t adjusted to the light.

Peter, the Lost Boys and I made our way to the beach where the shadow drops the newbies in search of the one Peter sensed this morning.

  “How old do you reckon he’ll be?” one of the younger boys asked as we all hiked along.

  “I don’t know, am I a witch?” the older boy he walked beside snapped.

  “Hey!” I shouted at the older boy. “One, what the fuck do witches have to do with knowing someones age? And two, speak to him or anyone like that again for no reason and I’ll remove you tongue,”

The older boy glared at me but apologised and ran ahead. The younger boy grinned at me and thanked me and also ran to find his friends.

  “I love it when you get all ‘authority’ like that,” Peter snaked his arm around my waist as he whispered seductively in my ear.

  “Really?” I looked at him out the corner of my eye with a smirk. “So if I was to pin you against a tree and do whatever I wanted to you, you wouldn’t object?”

  “I would not, but it’ll have to be later or we’ll miss meeting the new boy,” he winked and grabbed my hand as we sprinted past all the lost boys so that we were ahead of the group.

  “Race?” Peter smiled at me but didn’t wait for a response before letting go of my hand and running even faster.

  “Hey no fair!” I tried my best to catch up but I was no match for his long legs and lean build. He was just fast.

He burst through some bushes in front of me and disappeared from my view for a few seconds before I also hit the same shrubbery.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked when I made my way through to almost crashed into his back as he was standing completely still staring out to the beach.

  “It’s…” he said slowly.

I looked around to see the new comer.

  “A girl,” I finished his sentence.

She turned at the sound of our voices with a glorious smile. She wore a white dress  that swayed as she turned. It was long and sleeveless with ruffles around her claves. It looked like a 1800’s sleeping gown.

Her smile vanished when she made eye contact with me. Despite her unhappy expression for me, her beauty was striking. Golden curls fell down her back and her fair face was dotted with freckles across her cheeks and nose. Big hazel eyes glared at me with a hate that made me feel intimidated.

Peter seemingly unaffected by her glare, walked forward with his signature smirk.

  “Welcome to our island,” he bowed dramatically. “I am Peter Pan, King of Neverland. And you are?”

  “I am Belladonna,” she flash the same hypnotic smile from before and gave a small curtsy. “You can call me Bella,”

I frowned as I tried to remember why her name rang a bell in my memory.

  “Belladonna… “ Peter hummed thoughtfully. “Y’know this island has its own deadly plant. But I must say it is nowhere near as alluring as Belladonna,”

That explains why her name is familiar to me.

I stepped forward also and gave a warm smile to this girl.

  “Hello,” I said, still smiling. The smile she had for Peter turned into a scowl for me. I ignored it and took a protective hold of Peter’s hand. “I’m Y/N. Peter here refers to me as his Queen since he is king here. It’s going to be nice no longer being the only girl,”

  “There are no other girls?” This Bella girl said this as if she was hopeful or relieved.

  “Just me and like 30 teenage boys,” I laughed nervously. “I could help you set up a nice tent a little ways from the boys. They’re lovely but they’re still teenage boys so-”

  “That’s okay,” she cut me off as she smiled at Peter and took his  other hand. “I can handle some teenage boys. Just fix me up a tent while the King gives me a tour,”

  “Uhm,” I had to hold myself back from biting her face as she looked at my boy liked that. “I offered to help you set up your tent. I’m not going to do it for you,”

She gave me the filthiest look then turned back to Peter with a smile.

  “Give me that tour now?” there was something about the way she spoke to him. She looked at him like she was giving a small child instruction.

He smiled at me awkwardly but I could see in his eyes that he truely wanted to go with her. So I did what anyone would do. I gave the bitch a glare that said ‘touch him and I’ll kill you’ then I  released Peter’s hand and walked away.

I was back at camp setting up this girl’s tent as she a Peter still had not returned. I’m a murdering pillaging queen (sorta) and I fucking hate this girl but I have a role on this island and that is caring for it’s inhabitants so I’m not about to let her sleep outside.

Still there was something very off about this girl. The way she looked at Peter and they way he seemed to be under her spell.

I furiously searched my brain for some kind of magic she might’ve used to enchant him.

Is she some kind of siren? A fae?

She’s a bitch either way.

  “Hey Y/N?” I heard one of the boys call my name. I turned and saw Felix.

  “Yeah?” I dropped the tent fabric I was holding and brushed dirt off my knees. “What’s up?”

  “Didn’t Pan go ofw with the new girl?” he scratched his head as if he was uncomfortable with the topic. “Don’t you think they should be back by now? It’s sundown and he’s usualy back before then. He never misses dinner. Should we go look for him?”

I looked at the sky and saw he was right. I’d been so focused on my displeasure of setting up this girl’s tent that I hadn’t noticed how dark it was.

I was suddenly very worried.

  “Get the big boys together, but have Connor stay with the rest,” I instructed. “We’re going to go find them, but I need to make sure the littlies are safe,”

He nodded then jogged of to find the ‘big boys,’ which were the 12 oldest, ages ranging from 15 to 17.

He returned with them all and they stood before me awaiting further instruction. Some held torches.

  “We’re heading to the beach to track them from there,” I took off at a jog, leading the group to the spot where we found Bella.

It was a short journey at this pace. Or that might’ve just been my mind zoning out until we got to the beach.

  “Find their tracks,” I shouted. “Then fan out and pay attention to anything that might be off,”

I found our footprints in the sand from earlier and followed them in the direction Peter and Bella left the beach.

  “This way,” I called and the boys spread out and followed the direction I was heading.

We’d been following these tracks for about an hour and a half when I saw something that made my mind reel.

  “Stop!” I hissed. I reached out to the fabric hang from the branch in front of me.

Peter’s shirt.

The boys all halted in there tracks and stared at what I was holding.

  “What the fuck…?” Felix muttered. “There aren’t any water’s here…”

  “I know,” I growled. I thrust the shirt into Felix’s arms then I stomped forwards.

I pushed my way into a clearing. It was dark and I couldn’t see much but I could hear fine. And what I heard was moans, groans, heavy breathing.

I looked to my left, where the noises were coming from.

There they were. I could see their silhouettes in the darkness.

Then the boys and their torches came into the clearing, lighting up the place and the sight before me had me shaking with rage.

Peter was sitting on the ground, obviously without his shirt. He pants were pulled around his knees but his privates were covered, by Bella.

She straddled his hips with her dress hitched up around her thighs.

He held her in place with his hands on her thighs under her dress.

She held his face to her chest and he stared up at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Her striking beauty from earlier was gone however.

Her skin looked grey and her light brown freckles were now black. Her hazel eyes were a piercing ice blue and her golden hair was orange, it looked like flames dripping down her back, Her curls quivering as she grinded up and down on Peter’s lap.

But this was not the most fearful thing about her appearance.

No, she had strange growths on her back, poking out of her long hair, tearing through the fabric of her dress.

Wings.

Dark grey leathery wings sprouted from her shoulder blades like those of a giant bat.

I know what she is… Why she hated me, why she was happy there aren’t any girls, why Peter is mesmerized by her.

  “Succubus,” I spat.

She looked at me now. She made a sound that could only be described as a shriek and bared her pointed fangs at me.

Peter blinked as if waking up from sleep. He looked at was happening and it was like a switch was flicked in his brain.

He vanished from where he sat on the ground and reappeared a few metres from Belladonna with his pants returned to his hips.

  “Witch!” he snarled at her. “What spell have you cast on me?”

  “No spell,” she laughed. Her voice was still like music. “You are merely a male, and they are weak to the charms of my kind,”

  “She’s a succubus,” I explained to him, but after what I saw, I couldn’t bring myself to look in his eyes. “They’re demonic women who prey on men. Some stories say they eat their flesh, others say they eat their souls but the stories always has sexual deeds in common,”

Peter noticed my lack of eye contact and his face filled with shame and guilt.

  “Y/N…” he took a step towards me but I turned away from him and focused on Belladonna.

  “Fitting name by the way,” I said to her. “‘Deadly nightshade, commonly known as Belladonna’ means beautiful woman, but is a deadly flower. Did you come up with that yourself?”

  “Actually no,” she smiled as if remembering some great memory. “A village I used to torment gave it to me after I killed half the men there-”

Her face suddenly contorted in pain and she clutched at her throat.

I looked at Peter and saw that he was using magic to choke her.

  “Filthy creature,” he seethed as he stood in front of her. “You come to my island, and think you could do your vile things to me?

  “I did pretty well don’t you think?” she managed to squeak out. “I could feel how close you were. Didn’t you enjoy yourself? I know you did,”

He pulled his dagger from his belt and drove it up under her chin into her skull.

Her eyes rolled back and her hands fell from her throat, lifeless at her sides.

Peter dropped her corpse, not removing his dagger.

He turned away from her and stared at the ground.

  “Boys,” he said. “Please leave us,”

Felix looked at me worriedly but left with the others.

I looked at my feet, unable to look at Peter. I know it’s not his fault but I still have that image of him with another woman seared into my mind.

  “Y/N,” his voice was filled with such sadness.

I looked up at him briefly. There was blood spatter on his chest. If this was some other situation my demented self would’ve found that riveting but it just made me feel sick. Even though he killed her, she is still on him.

I turned my head down and squeezed my eyes shut.

  “Y/N please…” he pleaded.

  “I-,” my voice came out as nothing but a whisper. “I have to go,”

Then I ran away. Away from him, away from the camp. I didn’t have a destination in mind. I just ran.