it's not the same one i was originally going to get

anonymous asked:

Who originally thought about bombing and shooting up Columbine, Eric or Dylan?

We don’t really know. We don’t know how that conversation first began or who initiated the idea. However, we can guess.

In November 1997, Dylan writes “[redacted] will get me a gun, I’ll go on my killing spree against anyone I want”. It’s the first mention we have of murder (and, more importantly, of a killing spree) after he already mentioned suicide more than once in the previous entries. One of those suicide-entries also has him reflecting on [redacted] getting him a gun so Dylan can use that gun on himself. What’s interesting is that this gun provider was not Eric, as Eric’s name remains unredacted throughout the evidence. Dylan’s first reference to NBK happens in February 1998, but the person he names as wanting to do that with is also redacted.

Eric didn’t start his journal until April 1998. In its third entry (still within that same month), he writes “ when I go NBK”. The choice of words here – when instead of if – shows that the idea had already taken shape prior to the entry and that Eric was already treating it as something definite. There is more murder-related stuff on his website, though no direct references to NBK the way he mentions it in his journal, but none of those entries were dated (though they’re likely to be from the 1997-1998 era).

Note that both of these entries are still individualistic: they talk about a killing spree/NBK as something they’re going to do alone. Dylan first writes of going NBK with Eric in January 1999. He didn’t sound too happy about it and many have speculated that this wasn’t his first choice. Eric, on his part, writes “when we go NBK” in October 1998 and mentions Dylan later on in that same entry in connection with these plans.

Logically speaking, we could say the following:

  • The idea of a killing spree was born a little before Dylan’s earliest mention of it in November 1997. I’d tentatively put mid-1997 as the initial birth of the idea.
  • By February 1998, Dylan mentions going NBK with someone else. He’s already moved forward into not wanting to do this alone.
  • Eric first mentions going NBK as a solitary idea in April 1998 – something for him to do alone.
  • What’s interesting here is that they both use the same terminology for the idea: both use the codename NBK for this. That would suggest that they spoke about the notion with each other, probably in conjunction with the movie they both liked, some time in early 1998.
  • By October 1998, Eric is already convinced that he’s going to do this together with Dylan.
  • November 1998 sees them acquiring the guns.
  • By January 1999 Dylan acknowledges the plan and says “maybe going “NBK” (gawd) with Eric is the way to break free”. Dylan is still treating it as an option instead of as a definite at this point.

Who originally thought about it? The evidence suggests that it was Dylan who first came up with the idea of going on a killing spree, but we don’t have any dated writing by Eric from that time. That makes it hard to know what was going on in the latter’s head at the time Dylan first wrote about the killing spree. However, it’s very clear that the two really came together on the idea between April and October 1998, though Dylan already knew he wasn’t going to go through with it alone as early as February 1998. I have no doubt that mid-1998 saw the actual birth of NBK as we now know it: Dylan’s notion of a killing spree with guns combined with Eric’s love of explosives in those months and that’s when the idea of bombing the school and shooting the survivors/first responders came into being as a definite sort of plan. It’s likely that they spoke of the idea among themselves earlier on than that, too, but I personally think that it didn’t really come into definite being prior to those months because Eric still mentions lone-wolfing the whole thing as late as April 1998.

Another Mafia AU 2 (I need a title for this)

On mobile so can’t link here. Have a quick look for Another Mafia AU on my blog for part one till I can get on my laptop. Xx

Ok so I am trying to link tell me if u can see part 1 :


II. Percival

The long boardroom was filled with a heavy atmosphere. Percival, at the head of the table was surveying leather bound dossiers in front of him, meticulously flicking through each of his sub companies’ financial data. Finally, he smiled. It was not a happy kind of smile; rather it put one in mind of a particularly hungry shark.

“Excellent work.” He snapped the folders shit and slid them into his own satchel for later full review. “I expect to see the same next time. You are dismissed.” With that, he rose and strode out the door, his secretary Tina falling in step beside him as they strode from the high-rise office building.

“Ah boss. Done with companies for the day?” Tina smirked at him from the opposite seat. “Got something more important in mind?”

Percival relaxed, loosening his tie. “Might do. Don’t get uppity Goldstein. Hate to relegate you to traffic.”

She snorted but stayed quiet. They both knew he needed her as a guard, he couldn’t stand any of the others for long periods, and tended to send them off crying within a day. 4 hours was the official record. Besides, traffic was basically looking over the smuggling goods and inventorying them. Dull. He only sent real morons there.

In the ten years since Graves had become the leader of the Family, Tina was the only one who had lasted more than two months guarding him. Three years in and she was indispensable as a PA and as his bodyguard. She had come to work for him when she was just eighteen and out of high school. With a younger sister to take care of and no parents, Tina had turned to her mother’s line of work before her death and joined the Macusa clan. Working her way up, she had been spotted by Graves as tactically brilliant and ruthless enough to follow through on her plans. They had been fairly inseparable since.

In fact, the only time they argued was when Queenie, Tina’s baby sister, decided to join the family too. Tina had been desperate for her sister to go to college to stay out of the family business to to speak. Queenie had disagreed and really, who was Graves to stop anyone from joining up? It took a period of coldness between them but the problem resolved itself when Graves assigned Queenie to Intel. She was safe out of the ranks, so Tina was happy; and she was terrifyingly good at her job and very quickly rose to take over the department, so Graves was happy. Queenie was just happy to be able to work near her Teenie and be doing an important job.

The car drew up to the huge brownstone residence of the main Graves family. Percival’s parents had both died in a shootout when he was twenty two, so he had take over all the business straight out of an accelerated college degree. Thankfully in addition to business savvy, he had a thick skin, excellent survival instincts and was a decent shot with a gun. After replacing almost the entire upper echelon with his own people, Percival had expanded business operations and now controlled not only almost the entire underworld of New York City, but was also a billionaire outside of his Family work, controlling several huge conglomerates with a finger in almost every pie there was.

As it was, only Percival lived there now. Tina and Queenie as well as his other section heads as well as a few other guards had rooms as well but they were only there when necessary.
As he got into his rooms, Tina doing a quick check before hand, he immediately set a bath running, shucking off his suit. God he was exhausted. It was almost eight in the evening by this point, and he had been at work since seven thirty. He still had pages and pages of paperwork to go through. Sliding into the steaming water, he finally relaxed fully.

The bath was going cold and Percival was just beginning to consider more hot water when there was a bang on the door. Rising quickly, Percival threw on a towel and grabbed his pistol, always close by, to open the door. Tina was standing there, looking a little wild.

“Sir, sir I am sorry to interrupt but this is something - something you need to hear about. It’s the Alpha squad, something went wrong in the general patrol. Queenie has all the details but she said it was urgent and-”

“Tina, breathe. I’m going to get changed and I will be at HQ in fifteen minutes on the outside.”

He shooed her from his room and sharply closed the door. Fuck. Alpha was one of his best squads, his most reliable lieutenant commanded it, his top men were in it. If something has gone wrong with them on a general patrol of his territory then that was very very bad.

In well under the promised quarter of an hour he was striding into Intel for his promised report. Everyone looked to be silently panicking, except for Queenie, who was sending out all the orders with a face of granite. A relived cry of “Boss!” Rang out across the room as she turned to usher him into her closed off office.

“What is going on Queenie.” His voice left no room for dithering or small talk.

“Alpha team were on a patrol down by the Hudson. The Carlacci ambushed them with at least four squads. The group managed to pop them all but three men were shot, several more had knife wounds and even Lieutenant Kim was wounded. Just on the arm sir, don’t worry.”

Percival broke in here. “The other men are being treated by now I hope? And cleanup has sorted out the Carlacci scum?”

Queenie hesitated. “Well. Cleanup has been by and I took the liberty of reassigning the Eta and Phi squads to cover the rest of the Alpha patrol. With Commander Fleamont’s permission of course. However-”

“However what, why haven’t my men been treated?”

“It seems that the new tenant down there is a doctor. They ended up in Jacob’s bakery, seeing as it was the closest safe house. Turns out that his neighbour set up a free clinic next door and heard the commotion. Apparently he helped out immediately, removed the bullets and sutured the bullet and knife wounds without asking any questions. We got them checked out when here but the doctors just called me to report that the work was expertly done. The only things he couldn’t treat were some concussions, which can’t be treated anyway.”

“I see.” He mulled this over. Everyone was going to be well, which was good. He hated losing good soldiers. But this newcomer, who was he?

“I was just getting a file on him.” Ah, apparently he had said that last bit out loud. “From what we know so far, his name is Newt Scamander. He is originally British but has been travelling the last four years, all under different names, and he came in from Equatorial Guinea apparently plying his skills for food and board. Nothing early than that yet, sorry. We’re still getting info coming in.”

More and more interesting. The name indicated a relation to a pre-eminent British crime family but he was in the US, whose underground remained very cold to the British one. He didn’t even seem to be doing Mafia work. He would just have to meet the man himself and see why he was here.

“Keep looking. I will visit him tomorrow morning and give him my personal thanks for helping some friends.”

Standing, he commended her for her work. Queenie, he mused, really would be wasted in another field. Seeing as the situation was under control for now, he would return to sleep and reassess once he awoke.

He did just that.

Bright and early the next morning Percival reviewed the complete file on the incident. All men were fine. Lieutenant Kim was to report in that afternoon. And he, well he had a certain doctor to visit.

Tina, who thankfully slept when he did, was ready to go in the car already.

“Queenie is in bed, she’s been up all night. Got this Scamander’s address though.” Tina said as a greeting.

He sighed. “Good good. She works hard.” The car pulled away. Peri cal spent the ride reading the file on Scamander. It seemed that he had got his degree at Cambridge, had left the country almost immediately after graduating and from there had hopped across Europe and Asia, saving hundreds of lives. From there he had flown to America a couple of months ago and set up his little clinic. Shy, quiet, he had nevertheless become friends with Jacob quickly and was by all accounts, the opposite of a troublemaker. So what was the second son of the Scamander family doing here? Oh, that heir Theseus had tried to cover his trails and the false identities he had used around the world were very good but Queenie and her agents were better.

They had arrived. For this, Percival had chosen buttery leather boots, dark jeans and a white button down with a navy jumper over the top. Attractive but practical. He smirked. Just like him.

He entered the tiny clinic entrance, the door tinkling pleasantly behind him. Tina slid in behind him unobtrusively. A quiet voice called out to “wait just a moment, please, feel free to take a seat.”. Percival elected to stand and wait near the counter. There was no one else there, after all. Less than a moment later, footsteps came closer and a man entered from a screened door behind the counter.

And dear god, was this man beautiful.

——– Part 3! :
Lets talk about O goshi

O goshi means major hip throw in Japanese. It’s one of the original 40 throws in judo and I see it often taught to white belts in their first few classes only for it to be a constant point of frustration later on down the road.

Its in a lot of other martial arts as well but they don’t really get into great detail   about the finer points. But don’t worry I had the same trouble with this throw when I was a white belt.

First big thing is lets talk about this throw. O goshi is a koshi-waza or hip technique. So right away we know a major component of the throw. Heck its called MAJOR HIP THROW.

Before I go on any further hers a quick breakdown of the components of a throw

“Kuzushi"- off-balancing the opponent

“Tsukuri”- “fitting in”, or positioning yourself for the throw

“Kake”- completing the throw.

So for our Kuzushi or off balancing the key point I want to remind people is don’t just shoot in for O goshi. No matter the throw if you don’t off balance your opponent you risk a counter such as Ura Nage.

Trust me being on the receiving end of an Ura Nage fucking sucks.

So what we need to do is make sure entry is crisp and that you can affect their posture.  A trick that often gets neglected by white belts is the rotation of the arm when you throw.

See how his elbow points up as he goes in? That helps add force and breaks down the posture of the UKE (Person receiving the throw). This elbow trick is so underrated and is very important.

A more simple issues that most beginners have is poor hip placement. When they are having trouble with the throw the first place they/you should look at is the footwork. If they can’t get their hip over enough that means that the issue is almost always the footwork.

The final major tip for O goshi is don’t just shoot from it when you’re square with eachother Do it when you are at an angle or set it up. Attack or enter form the side and you’ll find you’ll be getting it more and more. Also If its not straing up judo get that sexy belt grip.

See how blue is not directly in front of white? This is a much better angle of entry for a judo throw.

So that’s enough rambling for now. O goshi has a lot more depth than we give it credit for.  Studying tips and tricks can make it a pretty formidable move.


since i can’t work because i’m too distracted thinking about it. for starters, the soundtrack ? i’m not as hung up on them keeping each ( & every ) single thing the same, but i do hope that they’ll just use a remastered version of the old one, n’ maybe throw in a few new tracks for the newer additions to the game. from what i know so far, they’re sticking to the original story line, but adding extra things to make each ‘disc’ the size of one “ ffxiii game. i haven’t played ff13 so i couldn’t say i understand entirely …

but it sounds like a reasonably good idea. berate me all you will, but i don’t think it’s a bad idea to alter the game from how it was in 1997. you can’t deny that ffvii had plot holes & there were, undeniably, several things that happened that weren’t given as much attention as they might well have deserved. one thing that nomura has confirmed is extra story relating to biggs, wedge & jessie. anyone who knows me at all knows i love them insufferably. thus, i’m not opposed to more content in respects to that, too.

what i’m even more curious about is how they said they were gonna elaborate ( or, somehow, make a bigger deal out of ) cloud’s flashbacks and breakdowns, etc. does this mean that people will actually care when he collapses to the ground after hearing voices, this time ? who knows ? not me. i feel like there are a lot of things they only touched on in ffvii, that they’re finally taking the opportunity to expand on – & i’m really glad that cloud’s psyche is one of those things. … never would’ve guessed, right ? 

but despite being the protagonist, cloud is always kind of overshadowed by what’s expected of him – ; most protagonists in the final fantasy series are forced to push onward, despite the fact they’re suffering just as much as ( – if not more than ) everyone else around them. i’m hoping that the details they put into cloud’s body, e.g. not-so-subtle reminders that he was encased in a mako chamber for 4 years & it’s not even been months ( one month ? ) since he recovered from mako poisoning, stick in the final cut. it’d just be insulting & inaccurate to make him buff for fan-service’s sake. he’s sickly, if anything.

i blame @adventson​ for making me think about it, but imagine how uncomfortably horror-like some parts of the game might wind up ? when you go outside of the ( jail ? ) cell to see that guard laying dead on the ground, and a remastered  trail of blood starts playing. coincidentally, there’s a huge trail of blood marking the hallway as far as the eye can see … & further. the monsters which start spawning will look – discomforting, to say the least. ( – i still don’t get why they only spawn after jenova escapes ) but also shinra mansion ? and the sunken gelnika ; the monsters, unknown in that place look a little creepy.

imagine if they implemented ruby & emerald weapon, too ? anybody who has seen ffxv kingsglaive and remembers what the “ daemonlooks like – to the best of my knowledge that creature was, or was at least supposed to mimic ( diamond ? ) weapon. imagine fighting that to scale, or cruising about in the submarine and suddenly you see emerald weapon – to scale – approaching. nomura please ,,

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so theres a serious lack of ‘the crows kidnap the warden to get to zev’ fics. this is set maybe half way through origins, so before taliesin’s attack

There were times when Poppy longed for certain aspects of the Circle- namely their expansive library that she had always taken for granted until now. Outside of the tower, coming across a book was equivalent of finding a pile of sovereigns laying about, and she was learning that buying a book from any shop would cost about the same.

Her friends were back at the market, browsing heavy plate armour and weapons that she would be so terribly hopeless with. To nip that self-deprecating spiral in the bud before it started, she meandered off to the Wonders of Thedas shop. Tristan would probably scold her when she returned. A part of her knew that going so far away while they were so dangerously close to Loghain was foolish, but the thought of a brand new tome was just too inviting to pass up.

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anonymous asked:

sketch request: you know that post that's like "*lies seductively on a table* hey ba- *table breaks*" well that gives me some serious holsom/nurseydex vibes if you feel me

originally I was gonna go with nurseydex but the table cracking reminded me of wingman & i was like nOPE I GOTTA FIX THIS


dex: don’t tell me to chill dumbass you’re the one who broke it last week doing the exact same thing

nursey: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oh hey, it’s more sketches from that AU that literally no one asked me to make more sketches of.
Ive had so little motivation to draw lately, but was just really intrigued by this idea? I even wrote a little origin story down by the bottom of the page. If you can’t read it, it says something along the lines of:
What if Valerie lost her popularity earlier and ended up actually joining the trio? She would’ve been there when Danny was dared to go into the portal and she might’ve gone in instead of him because he was so hesitant. Skip to after the accident, the trio has kind of distanced themselves from Valerie because they feel so guilty for what happened and she is quite obviously angry with them about the whole being half killed thing. I’m not sure whether they know her secret or not? Around this same time Danny’s parents get rich from the sale of ghost tech (they do not however go crazy and move out like they did in that one episode, because in this universe they are reasonable, well written adults) and Danny begins to take up ghost hunting because he feels responsible for what happened to Valerie (survivors guilt maybe?)and wants to make it up to her. He names himself something like Phantom Hunter. Val meanwhile is dealing with new ghost powers and resentment towards her estranged friends (Vlad shows up maybe? Offers to be her teacher?) and she takes up the name Gray Ghost and starts going after the ghosts being released from the portal that “ruined her life”.

anonymous asked:

Alex Danvers is never gonna be Batwoman. Hell, Batwoman is never going to be in Supergirl for that matter. Idk why you're all fretting about it -- they are writing an original take on Maggie Sawyer that doesn't follow the DC canon. They aren't even on the same Earth, it's all different. So, unclench?

I’m not concerned about the writers doing it. I’m concerned about the rising antisemitism in the Supergirl fandom with the insistence that Alex should be Batwoman. a) queer women aren’t interchangeable and b) Kate Kane’s mantle as Batwoman is like intrinsically tied to her and Kate Kane is Jewish. The fact that she’s Jewish is important to Jewish fans, and to strip her of being Jewish is an insult to Jewish people, because its essentially telling Jewish people that our faith, our heritage doesn’t matter.

Goyim have stolen everything from us. Let us have one thing. ONE thing. Excuse me for getting annoyed and pissed off when the erasure of my people and our history continues to this day.

Necktie Cubby

I was looking at my old tie rack the other week, and decided I wanted something better.

With some rough measurements and some equally rough sketches, I realized I could double the amount of ties I could store and make them visually more apparent, all in the same amount of space.

I was at my local sawmill last week, and they had this piece of spalted soft maple set aside for $5 because of all of its checks and cracks.  I figured I could cut around them to get what I needed, since most of my cuts would be small.  

The longest pieces needed to be about 43″, and by resawing I was able to get both of them from one piece of the board.

I decided to go with a simple rabbet joint on the corners.  The original plan was to reinforce them with dowels, but eventually opted not to do so.

A cheap piece of plywood ($12) would serve as the backer, so I cut a groove to house it.

The dry fit seemed good, so I began cutting the dados to hold all of the dividers.  There would be one long divider to separate the neckties and belts.  Getting all of the dados lined up was an adventure, but it eventually worked out okay.  Then I started the stages up glue-up.

Then went in the horizontal dividers.  Before gluing them in, the dividers needed dados as well.  

Finally, I cut the vertical dividers and glued them in.

Then I applied a coat of finish. This is going to live inside a closet, so I only used one coat.

Finally, I took down the old tie rack and put in the new one!

This was a good one-day project, and it drastically improved my necktie storage.  

I don’t want to get into ace discourse or anything because I have friends on both sides of the discourse and I don’t have a strong opinion either way because I think the discourse is unproductive and polarizing, but I do have one idea on the origin of aphobia and its relationship to homophobia. I’m going to lose followers for this but I guess that’s okay.

I’m of the opinion that aphobia is a lesser homophobia deriving from gendered attraction norms: in the way that gay and bi people are punished for experiencing same-gender attraction (a problematic phrase, I know, but a useful one until I find better) because they are in direct violation of heterosexuality, asexual people are punished to a lesser degree for having no attraction. Simply due to the nature of asexuality as a void of attraction as opposed to an alternate attraction to the hetero norm, they are in violation of the strictest definitions of straightness but not the broader power structures of straightness that harm gay and bi people so much.

While I believe aphobia to be real, “allosexual privilege” is not a true phenomenon by virtue that gay people are lower on the societal ladder of heterosexuality. Straight and not-straight is a nonexistent binary and a massive oversimplification of complex powers at play. While truly straight people oppress gay people and somewhat asexual people, asexual people have power to oppress gay and bi people but not vice-versa.

I believe this understanding clarifies and compromises core arguments of both sides of the discourse: it acknowledges aphobia as a real phenomenon but also understands that gay and bi have no power over asexual people by virtue of sexual attraction. This understanding posits homophobia and aphobia as entwined in the same system, not at odds with each other. This view also ignores other aspects of the discourse such as “who belongs in LGBT” (which I believe requires a community-by-community case-by-case approach).

With this post understand that I am trying to end conflict, not create it. Take this as you will but suffice to say: I’m neither looking for drama nor arguing and I hope you aren’t, too.

i didn’t even say anything about turning anon back on. like honestly idc about anon hate, but this makes it somewhere in the 20s that i’ve gotten in the past week and i’m just curious about wtf i’ve done?? i’ve had hate sent before, but nowhere near this much. and i’m blocking them all so idk what’s going on. i’m just really tired of it. 

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greensplatter replied to your post: “GET BACK IN THE CAR CHEYENNE”“THAT BI…

Tell me more!

I could talk on for days about this yo

Los Santos filled with different Gangs and Crews who are all in a weird relationship where they want to eradicate each other, but at the same time still kinda work together and hang out from time to time???

Ofc there is the Fake AH crew which is one of the most notorious gangs in the city who get down and gritty and never say no to a job no matter how dangerous

Late Night Crew, who are a bit more laid back than the Fake AH crew, they are less violent and do more classy jobs, but god forbid you piss any one of ‘em off because you will wake up hanging upside-down from a bridge.

The Grumps who somehow got dragged in to the crime life and who freak the fuck out no matter what is happening but somehow they are so fucking lucky that everything they do works out great and earns them even more street cred. Jontron was part of the gang, but retired out of the business a while ago and works in a bird sanctuary.

Markiplier as a freelancer who works for whoever pays most, or he just causes mayhem around town when no jobs come up. Sweetest guy in the world, but he is way too giddy and excited while destroying public property and shooting people.

Ray who left the AH crew on good terms and started working low-key with his bodacious babe Tina, occasionally joining his old crew for heists.

Felix and Marzia who are not really criminals, per say, but they run a big corporate business which dabbles in criminal activity under the radar; lots of jobs in the city come in some way from them.

And so many others which I can’t remember right now because it’s past midnight here and I’m tired but oh man this AU


I want to describe something beautiful to you.

First, imagine a rectangle with such proportions that when you cut the rectangle exactly in half, the two halves have the exact same proportions as the original rectangle.

Now the original rectangle has the area of one square meter (the metric system itself is also really beautiful, but we won’t go into that now, we’ll just take it as a given that one square meter is lovely). Let’s call this rectangle that has the area of one square meter 0. It is the starting point.

Now we cut it in half. Lets call these two halves 1, because they are the original halved once.

Now lets cut a 1 into half again. These we call 2, because they are the original halved twice.

Lets cut a 2 in half again. Yep, you guessed it, this one is called 3. If we half a 3 we get a 4. If we half a 4 we get a 5. If we half a 5 we get a 6. If we half a 6 we get a 7.

All of them always have the exact same proportions. A 7 has the same proportions as a 0.

And that is the Standard European Paper Size System, usually called the A-series. So the name of each sheet follow formula “A number”, so a standard printing sheet is an A4, a postcard is size A6, etc

something my mom told me recently that i found really powerful was that when you have trauma and are processing it, you /will/ get triggered again, sometimes in ways that are uncannily similar to the original trauma, and that this can actually be a /good thing/, because this time you have the chance to make it end differently.

thats been happening for me a lot lately, and its really reassuring to know that i can make the whole experience play out differently, that it doesnt have to end the same way it always has before.  even if its just telling someone else i trust how i feel, thats one more thing i never did before, and thats one more thing thats going to heal me little by little.

anonymous asked:

do you have any tips/ideas for improving my chances of getting into a tumblr collective (ie. nosebleedclub)? this is my second time applying to one but there's a lot of submissions & i really don't know how to make mine stand out from everyone else's.. i haven't had a tumblr blog for that long so idk what poems/etc. might seem more original/unique/interesting.

ummmm okay, so i think ur gonna read my response & p much go ‘i regret coming 2 u with this, this wasn’t helpful At All’ but 

i think the point of a collective is not … so much to have your writing fit the collective, but have the collective fit you? do u know what i mean? if u try to alter your writing for the purpose of trying to join up with a group i think you’ll find that you’re producing really inauthentic work, like you’ll be more concerned w/ whether it matches a certain vibe, style, or theme then focusing on shaping up ur own writing or developing a clearer voice of ur own. 

like honestly my advice would be just to bone tf up on ur own work. ask yourself if you like what you’re writing, if you’re excited by your own work. if the answer is yes & you’re still not getting accepted into the collectives maybe they’re not for u idk. if the answer is no then diversify ur reading. go from ee cummings to mary oliver to joy harjo to danez smith to like, emily o’niell or Whoever. if u want to write more interesting work then u absolutely have to be reading a bunch of different writers & go from there.

i mean, i’m probably…. not the person to ask bc joining up w/ a collective has never been my priority as a writer like it was just something i fell into. which isn’t to say i’m not happy it happened or unbelievably awed & grateful, bc i am. without nbc i wouldn’t be where i am today as a writer but i also think its important to point out that it’s because i was suddenly exposed to all of these writers who were so much better than me & who were my contemporaries & so i learned from them. 

i can go ahead & tell you what i might look for in terms of acceptance into a collective which would be something like: 

1. interesting writing (is the person’s writing generic? would it be easy for me to substitute them for another writer & find myself noticing any real difference? does their writing impact me in some way or make me ask questions about my own work? ultimately, do i want to continue to listen to what they have to say?) 
2. polished writing (i want to be able to tell just by reading that this is something they do frequently, that they are practiced, i don’t mean it has to be clean & neat, but that they care enough about their own work to be diligent in its creation) 
3. community involvement (are they gonna want to participate in the collective? are they gonna wanna talk shop w/ ppl? be friendly & amiable to other group members? why have someone in a collective if they’re only gonna be there to get their work reblogged?) 

besides the last one, its pretty subjective, u know? so like, trying to find a way to fit urself into the expectations of a bunch of ppl could actually hurt you rather then better you as a writer. idk, i wouldn’t be too concerned about it. the focus should be on ur work first & foremost. like if you’re new on tumblr ur best choice might not even be to find urself a collective yet & join. i think i was writing on tumblr for a year before i joined up with nbc. 

so like, my advice would be just to focus on your work. make sure its authentic because the best work always is. ppl can tell when you’re forcing it, & don’t try to cater your writing to a specific audience because its gonna be obvious in the work itself that its not rly the things you’re interested in saying. at the end of the day, & u can take this as my advice for ur original question or as the end to this v long winded ramble i’ve got going on, for any kind of good writing just be authentic, be authentic, be authentic.

lets make the assumption that this is tim wright, sometime after entry #87. he’s moved on with his life, and as such, is getting rid of all the tapes he was in possession of.

last night, the archive images were released along with the /missing page. the /missing page was originally a 404 error with the tagline “Ever feel like you’re in the wrong place?” but now just says “where are you” (though the page title remains the same, indicating it wasnt a real 404 but this is besides the point)

with this in mind it leads me to believe that tim is the one who is missing. how or why are obviously not known, but with these videos of him– security feeds– it looks like there might be some form of investigation going on around him being missing. like i said, if this is post entry #87 tim wright, he very much could have had someone close enough to call a report in