it's not the same one i was originally going to get

darksidelady  asked:

What are your thoughts on 'romancegate' or the Vanity Fair story that says there is no romance in Ep 8? I am sure your inbox is blowing up about this right now :(

I’m not really surprised/worried/concerned? The article was pretty damn sexist at parts and the drama is ugly af (and I’m avoiding it with a ten-foot pole), but I’m surprised by neither of these things. If we’re talking about (Reylo) romance specifically, to be completely honest I’ve been warning about this since the very beginning, and in very blatant terms that often get me in trouble:

To refresh the memories of long-time followers, and to update those of you who are new to my blog, here’s what I specifically said about Reylo in terms of canon possibilities, along with my predictions towards The Last Jedi and how it related to the three main characters (Rey, Finn, and Kylo):

There will be an “I am your father” moment in Episode VIII—and by that, I mean the same level of shock that the original reveal produced. This moment will either be about Rey’s background/identity, or Rey and Kylo’s relationship, specifically. Rey will become a much more grey character […] while Finn and Kylo will veer out towards the Light and the Dark sides of the Force, respectively. All three of them will become an Avatar of each mindset by the end of the film. Each of them will come of age in their new roles that they occupy within the Star Wars universe.

When speaking about this relationship, I also clarified (in the same piece) that while I thought one-sided Reylo already existed—and it was possible that they could go the sexual route a la Bastila and Revan—this “relationship” that was going on between Kylo and Rey wasn’t going to be traditional, in the romantic sense:

[…] It’s a very complicated, nuanced thing when combined with narrative sensuality, and its not bad VS. good or black VS. white. It’s not this ship or that or straight up fuckin’ like rabbits. It’s kinda grey, like this spot in the Force that both Kylo and Rey occupy, and whatever happens between them its not going to be a straightforward romance (I would be shocked if it was). Maybe this is also what the filmmakers mean when they things will get “dark.”

So we might see some encompassing, destructive passion between Kylo and Rey in Episodes VIII and IX. Instead of Kylo’s redemption, we might see an anti-hero who was so close to redemption fall fully from grace, which would make the moment all the more poignant and tragic. We could see Kylo’s odd fixation with Rey turn into a mutual obsession. Rey might be the one to fall, as they’ve already hinted that she and Kylo are two sides of the same coin, and she flirts with the Dark Side. Who knows? I do know that if Disney went this route, it would be a bold move for Star Wars movies (and I specify the movies, because EU has no qualms with this). […] when JJ said this story was a villain’s arc as much as it was the hero’s one, I think this is what he was hinting at.

I then went on to explain that—while it is certainly possible to write reciprocated Reylo, and I couldn’t 100% rule it out—I also didn’t think they would be going there, just due to subtext and the difficulty of writing those sorts of stories within a blockbuster framework:

So by now […] I think its safe to say that Kylo is heading off the emotional cliff when it comes to Rey. He wants her, and he wants her bad. He’s tenacious, and we see a propensity towards rage and impulsiveness in him, so when he does go after Rey, he’s probably going to do something really stupid to get her back. This will be tied into how the movies will be “weird,” and it will be tied into the “I’m your father” moment, and it will (probably) be a core component of Episode VIII. But this attachment will more than likely be one-sided.

Rey might end up with Finn, or she may end up alone, but I highly doubt she’ll end up with Kylo in the way people are hoping, because to be honest the symbolism behind her character is very, very fragile, and you could very easily fuck it up. Rey means a lot of things to a lot of people, and while you COULD pull off a romantic relationship between Kylo and her, I don’t think Disney will try. Right now the scenes between Rey and Kylo have sexual undertones, and those undertones are non-abusive because Rey has agency. She wins every time they have a showdown. This offsets Kylo’s possessive, sexually aggressive attitude towards her. But if Rey gives in, if she falls for him and this possessive attitude isn’t corrected – if she loses – then everything in the subtext between them becomes kinda problematic.

[…]

So right now the only way I can see the Episode VIII team making this dynamic work between Kylo/Rey is to have Rey being stronger than Kylo, consistently, or having them always poised as equals. They could possibly pull it off by having them on opposite ends of the Force spectrum—separated by different ideologies and driven to grief by being parted from one another. That would translate obsessive fixation into legitimate longing, which is An Okay Thing To Like (and show to the kids). But I digress.

Let me also clarify that even if Reylo is one-sided, this doesn’t mean Rey won’t feel anything for Kylo. […] I’m pretty sure Rey will be tempted by Kylo, either sexually or spiritually (through the Force). Maybe she’ll be tempted by both. I’m not sure how far this temptation will go or where it will lead, but I do think it will be part of the movie. And just because I don’t see any way for Reylo to be together in their current context doesn’t mean that the screenwriters won’t do it. They might surprise me and pull it off, and they’ve certainly left themselves room to play with it.

The tl’dr of all of this is that I have maintained from Day 1 that this path is where the franchise is headed, and with the exception of a few hiccups (you can see my score chart here), I haven’t really been off. I said things would get worse before they got better, and that if Kylo was redeemed that redemption would be a painful one that could result in serious maiming or death. From Adam’s more recent comments about his character, it seems Kylo’s outlook will indeed be pretty bleak, at least temporarily. This is not really conducive to romance.

Johnson’s direct quote from Vanity Fair was that The Last Jedi offers “no one-to-one equivalent of the Han-to-Leia, burning, unrequited love. In our story, that’s not a centerpiece” (and keep in mind, it was the journalist who mentioned Stormpilot and Reylo—not Rian Johnson. The journalist—a man—is adding his own bias to this picture, and one that’s pretty clear re: what he considers to be crack pairings. See: his completely inappropriate comments about fanfiction, in relation to female fans, yet again, listing off some of the biggest ships. Because apparently we haven’t had this discussion about-how-fanfiction-is-a-gendered-and-sexist-insult enough).

Han and Leia is a traditional romance, and I said that I didn’t think that Episode VIII would include traditional romances; ergo, I am not shocked by this. I’m just a bit sad, because beyond the sexist tones I’ve been clear about my theoretical position re: Episode VIII from the beginning. Either people haven’t been listening to it, or my words have been willfully misconstrued to mean something they don’t. It’s leading to a bloodbath re: drama, and like a redemption arc it’s going to get far worse before it gets better.

I will say that Johnson’s statement doesn’t explicitly rule out romance, just that it won’t be a centerpiece of it, and it says nothing about Episode IX (but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms). I am a bit surprised that Johnson chose to bring up the “unrequited” part in the context of Han and Leia, because as far as I can tell they seemed to be genuinely into one another (perhaps he is referring to Leia’s initial rejection of Han, followed by the (sexual) chase? I don’t know).

The 10 Elements of a MAIN CHARACTER

To all the writers who have ever been told “Your characters have to be three dimensional!” or “They should be well-rounded!” and just felt like saying: “What does that even MEAN?! What goes into a 3-dimensional character? Specifically? And how do you go about creating one?!”

Good news. There’s a way. 

Great main characters – heroes, protagonists, deuteragonist, whatever you want to call them – have ten things in common. Ten things that are easily developed, once you know what to create within your character. So no one will ever be able to tell you “needs to be more three dimensional!” ever again. Ha. 

1) Weaknesses: Main characters should be flawed, but I’m not saying this because it will make them more realistic (though it will) – I’m saying they need to be flawed because if they’re not, they shouldn’t be a main character. Story is another word for change, or more accurately, character growth. Not character as in “fictional person”, character meaning “heart and soul”. Story is someone’s character changing, for better or worse. Main characters at the beginning of the story are lacking something vital, some knowledge of themselves, some knowledge of how to live a better life, and this void is ruining their lives. They must overcome these weaknesses, if they’re going to become complete, and reach a happy ending. There are two types of weaknesses: Psychological and Moral. Psychological ones only hurt the main character. Moral ones cause the main character to hurt other people. Easy.  

2) Goal: Characters exist because they want something. Desiring something, and the fight against opposition for that desire, is the lifeblood of story; and because character is story, it’s also desire that can breathe life into words on a page, and begin the process of creating a real person in a reader’s mind. It’s this ‘desire for something’ that sparks that first connection between reader and character. It makes us think “Well, now I have to find out if this person gets what they want.” This is a powerful link. (How many mediocre movies do we suffer through, when we could easily stop watching, because we’re still trapped by that question of “what happens?”) So if this is powerful enough to keep people watching an annoying movie, imagine how powerful it can be in an excellent story. 

Like in Up, the goal is to get the house to Paradise Falls.

3) Want: If the main character wants something, they want it for a darn good reason. Usually, they think that attaining the goal will fill the void they can sense in their lives, the deficiency they can feel, but don’t know how to fix. And they’re almost always wrong. Getting the goal doesn’t help anything; which is why, while pursuing that goal, they discover a deeper need that will heal them. Which brings us to …

4) Need/Elixir: Main characters are missing something, a weakness in their innermost selves is causing them to live a less-than-wonderful life. Through story, these main characters can be healed. Once they discover what’s missing, and accept it, and change the way they live to include this truth they’ve uncovered … they’re healed. Learning this truth, whatever it is, forms the purpose of the story for the main character. The reader, and the character, think the story is about achieving that big tangible goal the premise talks about; really, underneath it all, the story is about someone achieving a big intangible truth, that will ultimately save their life and future. Often, this need is exactly what the character fears or professes to hate. 

Like Finding Nemo, where Dory states exactly what Marlin needs to learn. 

5) Ghosts: 

Not this kind of ghosts.

Ghosts are events in your character’s past which mark the source of their weaknesses and strengths. Because these happened, the character became who they are. All we need to know about backstory are these moments, because who the character became is all we care about. There’s really only one ghost you absolutely need: the source of their moral and psychological weakness. Something happened that knocked the character’s world off kilter, and everything from that moment onward has been tainted by what happened. This moment haunts them (hence the name), and holds them back from uncovering that need that will heal their weaknesses. Pixar are masters of this: the source of Carl being stuck in the past, curmudgeonly, unable of loving anyone new? Ellie dying; his ghost. In Finding Nemo, the source of Marlin being suffocating, protective to the point of being harmful, possessive, and fearful? His wife and 99% of his children being eaten in front of him; his ghost. 

6) True Character: These are the strengths, values, convictions, fears, faults, beliefs, worldview, and outlook on life that make the main character who they truly are. 

7) Characterization: This is everything on the surface of a main character. The way they look, talk, act, etc. All of this originates from those deeper elements of their being, the strengths, values, ghosts, weaknesses, needs, that make them who they truly are. So often, you can think of this as a facade they’re projecting, a way to shield the the truth about themselves, how they wish to be perceived. The story, and the other characters, are slowly going to see deeper than this characterization, revealing more and more of the reasons it is the way it is. 

8) Arc: If the character is going to change from “Incomplete Person” to “Complete Person” there’s going to be a journey they go on to make that possible. The external story, the pursuit of that big tangible goal the premise is about, is causing an inner journey to take place. What they have to do in pursuit of that external goal will apply pressure to those weaknesses, and pressure causes change. This process has seven steps, but if I write it all here this post is going to be obscenely long. So I might wait and give this its own post.

9) Changed Person: Who is the character going to be at the end of this story? They better be different, or else the story didn’t work. How do they show how different they’ve become? What is the moral choice they make, that spins their trajectory from “the future doesn’t look so great” to “happily ever after”? This should be known right away, maybe even before anything else is settled about the character. This gives a distinct end goal, a way to work backwards, a destination in mind that you can navigate towards.  

10) Fascination and Illumination: The surface characterization, and the brief glimpses of the true character underneath create curiosity in the reader/audience. What the character says, and the implied subtext beneath the dialogue, creates a puzzle the audience wants to solve. Actions they take work the same way; if the writer indicates there’s deeper motivation behind why a character behaves in the way they do, we buy into solving that mystery right away. We can’t help it. “Who are you really? Why are you the way you are? And how is that going to effect the story?” These are all the unspoken, almost not consciously acknowledged, questions that fascinating characters provoke. Searching out meaning, connecting the dots to find the truth – we can’t resist this. We’re not fascinated by tons of backstory and exposition about a character; we’re fascinated by story, by mystery, by the technique of withholding information and having to interpret and hunt out the truth on our own.  So gradually, the story and the characters will force that character to reveal a little more, and a little more, until we have a complete picture of who this person is. Crucial that this information isn’t told up front. Gradually illuminate it. It’s just like getting to know a real person. 

So how does this work in a real character? Let’s take a look at Flynn Rider/Eugene Fitzherbert, because almost everybody has seen that movie. 

Moral Weaknesses: He’s selfish. He’s a little greedy. He’s a little rude. He uses his charisma and bravado to keep people at a distance from the real him. 

Psychological Weaknesses: Insecurity, fear of vulnerability, feels like the real him (Eugene) would be unwanted, unlovable, and have nothing – just like when he was an orphaned kid. Also, he doesn’t know who he wants to be, what he wants to live for. 

Goal: Flynn wants to get that crown. So he has to get Blondie to see the floating lights, so she’ll give it back to him, and then they can part ways as unlikely friends.  

Want: Why does he want the crown? What does it mean for him? He actually states it (reluctantly) in song: “I have dreams like you, no really. Just much less touchy feely. They mainly happen somewhere warm and sunny. On an island that I own, tanned and rested and alone. Surrounded by enormous piles of money.” He senses there’s something off in his life, something is missing. But he mistakenly believes this missing piece is money, which will allow him to buy a lonely island, where he can live out his days as Flynn and no one will ever know Eugene. 

Need: “All those days chasing down a daydream. All those years living in a blur. All that time never truly seeing, things the way they were. Now she’s here, shining in the starlight. Now she’s here, suddenly I know. If she’s here, it’s crystal clear, I’m where I’m meant to go.” He wants a crown … he needs to fall in love with Rapunzel. He needs to love something more than himself, and find out that love isn’t something to fear and push away. He needs to abandon the 'Tales of Flynnagin Rider’ ambition, and get a more worthwhile, new dream. 

Ghost: The source of all of his weaknesses can be linked to his “little bit of a downer” childhood as an orphan. Interestingly, he isn’t aware of another facet of that ghost, and Rapunzel points it out to him. “Was he a thief too?” she asks. He looks taken aback, before answering “Uh, no.” Something’s gone wrong. The choices he’s making are not living up to that original role model.  

Characterization: Flynn’s charming, funny, smart, charismatic, and arrogant (in a somehow charming sort of way). He’s also rude, contemptuous, and sarcastic. All traits that help him keep up that 'swashbuckling rogue’ facade, and push people away from the real him. 

True Character: Underneath all that, he’s a Disney prince. That pretty much sums it up.  

Changed Person: “Started going by Eugene again, stopped thieving, and basically turned it all around.” He started the story as the guarded and evasive Flynn, he ends as the selfless and thoroughly-in-love Eugene. 

Fascination and Illumination: Imagine if everything about Flynn had been told, right up front. We know he’s an orphan, we know he’s upheld a fake reputation, we know he’s a kind and loving guy underneath it all, we even know about his “tales of Flynnagin” childhood dream. You know what happens? We like him … but we’re not interested in him. There’s nothing we need to find out. There’s no curiosity. And if there’s no curiosity, and nothing being illuminated, your story’s not going anywhere. So instead, we find out – alongside Rapunzel – more about Flynn as the story progresses. And that is how it should be. 

So!

Developing characters in this way, I’ve found, really reduces worries about how “well-rounded” and three dimensional I’ve made them. They feel real to me. And besides helping me create characters, this ten element technique has also let me analyze characters I like, which is strangely fun. It’s a great way to figure out why a character works, what causes them to be so effective, and how you can go about creating them yourself. 

Yeah, I’m a bit of a nerd. 

But if you want, try it out. Develop a character. Analyze a character. You might find it as useful/fun as I do.

anonymous asked:

can you make a checklist on how to get into the gorillaz?? It seems like there is a lot out there and its hard to follow when i'm getting into it late.. thank you!!

Sure!!! I personally got into them by watching their G-bitez and music videos and it all kinda spiraled from there.

The band itself was made by Damon Albarn (Lead singer of Blur, does vocals and writes lyrics for Gorillaz) and Jamie Hewlett (Co-creator of the comic book “Tank Girl”, draws and animates for Gorillaz) after they were both watching MTV and they were like “hey music today sucks you know what’d be cool?? if we made an animated band” “cool we could call it ‘gorilla’ because we were both born on the year of the monkey!!!” sadly animal planet had already copyrighted “gorilla” so they just added a z to the end of it to make it cooler.

Here’s a playlist of all of their music videos/unfinished storyboards i put together (they’re all in order according to the storyline, but keep in mind that “do ya thing” isn’t canon): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mRz_uqFp8BiLuEZ3-ZUjJZB

Here’s a list of all of their interviews I’ve been able to find (You can learn a lot about the characters from these babies): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mT1RKRtEIu2RA4AraQnGnqu

Aaand here’s a list of all of their songs (there’s a bunch). Every one of them sorted from oldest to newest, every song after “We’ve got the power” is either a demo, rare or unreleased: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLupIZC02E6mTeUgeN3TVDF1kUgM11wlFI

Something to know about Gorillaz is that they have “phases”. Phase 1 was in 2001, when they released their albums “Gorillaz”, “G-Sides” and “Laika come home”. Phase 1′s art style was cartoonish and used very thick lineart. Phase 2 was in 2005, when they released “Demon Days” and “D-sides”. Phase 2′s art style was a bit dark and looked more realistic. Phase 3 was in 2010, when they released the albums “Plastic Beach” and “The Fall” in 2011. Phase 3′s art style was almost the same as phase 2′s. Then we have Phase 4 in 2017, their new album “Humanz” is coming out April 28th. It’s art style is the one that stands out the most to me, you can find most of the art on Jamie Hewlett’s Instragram (Hewll)

Alright, a big part of me getting into the fandom was my love fore the characters. I’m assuming you’re not a fan yet, so let me introduce them to you (i’m going to use powerpoints to explain each member if u don’t mind):

This lovely lad here is Murdoc Faust Niccals.

- He’s the band’s leader/bassist, and he makes sure EVERYONE knows that’s it’s his band and only his.
- He went through multiple other bands before he formed Gorillaz.
- He was born on June 6th, 1966 in Stoke-on-Trent, England. As an infant he was abandoned on his father’s doorstep.
- Had a very rough childhood, his father, Sebastian Niccals, would force him to preform on stage for booze money and it was absolutely humiliating for him.
- His nose has been broken a of total 8 times. The first time was from a bully at his school, the 2nd time was from his older (and only) brother, Hannibal, because Murdoc had touched his records and the other 6 times were from Russel when he got caught “doing it” with 2D’s now ex-girlfriend in the bathroom stalls of Kong Studios
- His middle name was originally “Alphonse” but he changed it to “Faust” after making a deal with the Devil in phase 1 to make Gorillaz the “biggest band in the world”. That’s also how he got his bass, “El Diablo”.
- did i mention he was a satanist bc he is
- He hangs around in his underwear a lot (especially in phase 2)
- He likes to either get naked or start pelvic thrusting in like every video, so be careful, young anon.
- He’s very crude but sometimes he can be very nice and adorable in some interviews ??? It’s so weird
- He likes making weird noises, like, a lot.
- Apparently can speak French and Spanish
- His reason for turning green all of the sudden in phase 2 is either because of alcohol poisoning or due to him tanning himself green. Jamie himself said that it’s because he’s an immortalist and his skin is now rotting but I’m not sure how true it is.
- He had a pet raven in phase 2!!! His name was Cortez and no one really
knows what happened to him but Murdoc seemed to love that bird.
- He also had a cape in phase 2 that he loved and wore like all the time but he lost it. Poor baby.
- He was based off of a young 1960′s era Keith Richards.
- He has a tongue longer than Gene Simmons’ and I’m not even kidding. His tongue is like a foot long
- His genuine laugh can cure cancer
- He had his own MTV cribs episode
- Here’s a playlist of every interview he’s been in if you’d like to know a bit more about how he acts.
- All of this sounds horrible but like half of the fandom sees him as charming and funny and the other half sees him as repulsive and downright mean so i guess listen to some of his interviews and make your decision (i’m part of the half that loves him)

This is 2D!!

- He’s the band’s singer, sometimes he plays the piano and melodica too.
- He’s anxious and a bit timid around people. He’s not that intelligent, but he’s an absolute sweetheart to pretty much everyone. He’s … a huge dork.
- He was born on May 23rd, 1978.  He was born in Hertfordshire, England and was raised in Crawley, England. When he was 10 he fell out of a tree and landed on his head, his hair fell out and grew back blue. He’s had horrible headaches since then, but his mother was a nurse and gave pills to help him out.
- His real name is Stuart Pot
- He loves horror films!!! Especially zombie movies.
- Apparently he smells like butterscotch
- He’s VERY tall. he’s like 6′1 and his legs make up most of his body. He towers over the rest of the band.
- His voice actor is Nelson De Freitas, but Damon Albarn provides his singing voice
- The lack of his two front teeth gives him an adorable accent
- He has a crippling fear of whales
- His eyes are black due to an 8-ball fracture that Murdoc gave him before the band was made when he crashed his car into the music store 2D worked at.
- His eyes turn white when he’s stressed or scared.
- His nickname “2D” stands for “Two Dents”. He’s called that because Murdoc’s car crash also gave him two dents in his head.
- Murdoc is seen physically abusing 2D throughout phase 1-3, but there’s a very likely chance that he’s going to stop and make amends in phase 4!!!
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in
- Everybody loves him. I love him. I don’t think it’s possible not to love him.


This is Russel Hobbs!!

- He’s the band’s drummer.  He makes remixes too!!!
- The living embodiment of “looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll”
- Quite possibly the most underrated character in the world
- He was born in Brooklyn, New York on June 3rd, 1975. He got possessed by a demon as a kid and fell into a coma for four years. After he woke up the demon got expelled tho
- When he was a teen, him and his friends were involved in a drive-by shooting. Russel was the only survivor and all of his friends possessed him, but the only one we really get to see is his closest friend, Del, he raps in Clint Eastwood and Rock the House, but we haven’t seen him since phase 1. 
- Russel misses Del very dearly, poor lad.
- After the whole shooting incident he was sent to the UK to live with his uncle.
- HE SAVED 2D FROM BEING EATEN BY A WHALE. HE’S SO UNDERAPPRECIATED 
- He’s an actual giant in phase 3 because he ate some radioactive algae 
- He loves fezzes!!!
- His hobby, besides music, is taxidermy.
- He’s the dad friend
- Here’s a playlist of interviews that he’s been in

Last but not least, this is Noodle

- She plays guitar for the band. She also sings and writes songs sometimes
- Noodle is very energetic and nice but she can also kick your ass
- She was born in Osaka, Japan on October 31st 1990
- She joined the band when she was around 10 but she’s like 26 now. I forgot to mention that the band ages with real time
- As a kid she was a part of a classified child super solider project under the management of a japanese scientist named Mr. Kyuzo. this is where she learned how to be badass. She knew professional karate at like 10 how cool is that
- All of the children in that project were deemed too unstable and dangerous, so they canceled the experiment and Mr. Kyuzo was ordered to kill all of the children (fuckin dark i know). After killing them all, Mr. Kyuzo was reluctant to kill Noodle, so instead he put her in a state of amnesia and smuggled her to the UK by shipping her to Kong Studios in a FedEx crate.
- She didn’t remember anything!!! The only english thing she was able to say to say was “noodle” and that’s where she got her name.
- She learned how to speak english and remembered her past in phase 2.
- Murdoc, 2D and Russel raised her (mostly russel tho). Noodle considers Murdoc and 2D her brothers and Russel considers her his daughter how CUTE IS THAT
- She loves Pokemon
- She had a flying windmill island in phase 2 it was incredible
- She had a cute radio helmet in phase 1 
- She also has a robot version of herself called “Cyborg Noodle” in phase 3. It’s a long story but Cyborg might be coming back for phase 4.
- The interviews that she’s in can be found here!!

The backstory is too long for me to write down, but you can find it over here! I hope i explained everything clearly- if not, or if you have any questions, feel free to send me a message!! I hope this helps you c:

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

Spellcasting Combat Narration for D&D

image credit: Ben Wootten

So I was gonna include this in my other article on narrating combat, but it proved far too lengthy, so I made this into part 2! 

Combat is easy to describe compared to narrating spell attacks. I ran into this problem last session when I was getting into detail telling the barbarian how they tore off an ogre’s head but then the druid just kept using Fire Bolt and I kept defaulting to “you shoot a bolt of fire at his face.” I’m going to try and vary things up with these lists and help everyone else in the process! I am organizing them by energy type.

Mode of Attack

Half of a spell’s attack is how the caster shapes their spell. The same spell can look very different with every casting if you have a creative DM. Feel free to switch it up each time it’s cast, or vary the same spell when cast by different characters of different classes.

Attack Words

Generic shapes and terms that will launch from the caster’s hand.

Helix, Spiral, Beam, Erratic, Mote, Bolt, Stream, Blast, Burst, Blade, Arc, Miasma, Cloud, Eruption, Wave, Cone, Missile, Rune, Glyph

Class-Based Ideas

  • Bard
    • Energy manifests from thin air a foot in front of their instrument as they play
    • Energy is shaped like ribbons of written music that ripples towards enemies
    • Several tiny motes of energy appear with each note sung or played. Each point of damage comes from a mote hitting the opponent (rolls a 4 out of a d6, 4 of the 6 note-motes hit)
  • Cleric
    • Energy falls from the sky or emerges from the ground as the cleric prays
    • Beam of energy originates from holy symbol
    • Spell attack should highlight that the cleric is granted their powers from a greater power, don’t have the energy come from their hand/finger. Have the energy come TO them, and then be thrown at the enemy.
  • Druid
    • Energy is shaped like an animal.
    • Energy rushes forth from the surrounding wilderness and zooms past the druid and toward the foe.
    • Much like Cleric, energy shouldn’t come from the caster. It should come from elsewhere before being thrown at the enemy.
  • Fighter (Eldritch Knight)
    • Energy blasts from their bound weapon pointed at the enemy.
    • Energy fires from their mouth as they yell.
    • Energy surrounds their weapon and is used in tandem with it (if close enough)
  • Monk (Way of Four Elements)
    • Literally just watch Avatar: the Last Airbender and do that.
  • Paladin
    • Most Paladin spells are smite-based, so they usually happen when an attack hits. Otherwise, let the energy come from a higher power like the Cleric.
    • Energy bursts forth from within the creature hit
    • Energy surrounds weapon right as the strike lands
    • Energy falls from the sky or erupts from the ground
  • Ranger
    • Honestly, most Ranger spells often seem a lot like man-made traps like Cordon of Arrows (arrow traps), Fog Cloud (smoke grenade), or Grasping Vine (slipknot trap). But otherwise, Play it like the Cleric where the energy comes from a higher power.
    • Energy takes the form of the Ranger’s animal companion or an animal they associate with.
    • Spells seem to cast automatically whenever the Ranger is in a tight spot, almost as if nature itself is protecting them. The Ranger gives an approving nod whenever this happens in thanks.
  • Rogue (Arcane Trickster)
    • Energy is always accompanied by a shimmer of glitter
    • The Rogue plays with the energy over their fingertips as they whistle before casting the spell.
    • Energy enchants one of the Rogue’s daggers and casts the spell by tossing the dagger at the intended location or target.
  • Sorcerer (Draconic Bloodline)
    • Energy takes the shape of a dragon of your bloodline.
    • Energy surges forth from your breath
    • All energy takes the shape of your bloodline dragon’s energy type, regardless of the actual energy type. For instance, a sorcerer of a blue dragon’s bloodline that casts Burning Hands or Cone of Cold keeps the energy type but shapes the fire and cold damage into the form of a bolt of lightning. 
  • Sorcerer (Wild Magic) 
    • Energy takes on many random forms, never under the full command of the Sorcerer.
    • Energy erupts from random places in the environment when the Sorcerer calls upon them.
    • Energy bubbles and fizzes with all energy types (but mostly the one called upon), as if a piece of Limbo was thrown at the enemy.
  • Warlock (Archfey)
    • Your energy shimmers with iridescent colors and showers enemies with sparks of glitter.
  • Warlock (Great Old One)
    • Your magic corrupts and twists the flesh of the target of your spell, regardless of the energy type.
  • Warlock (Fiend)
    • Energy takes the shape of the unholy symbol of your patron.
  • Wizard (Abjuration)
    • Energy shoots forth from your magical wards, arcing towards your enemies.
  • Wizard (Conjuration)
    • You conjure a short-lived elemental of the energy type you need. It soars at the enemy.
  • Wizard (Divination)
    • You weave the glowing threads of fate in the palms of your hands, tweaking reality to cast your spell.
  • Wizard (Enchantment)
    • You enchant an object to exude the energy and toss it at the enemy.
  • Wizard (Evocation)
    • I mean, you just sorta blast them. That’s what this school’s about.
  • Wizard (Illusion)
    • Your spell usually spawns two or three illusory copies. When the attack misses, the enemy simply managed to dodge the right duplicate.
  • Wizard (Necromancy)
    • Your energy takes the shape of a skull screaming as it flies toward the enemy
  • Wizard (Transmutation)
    • You transmute the energy out of the surrounding environment and fire it at the enemy

On-Hit

So if half of a spell’s attack is the shape and travel of the spell, the other half is when the spell hits. I organized this list by energy type, as different energies will do different sorts of things when they hit a creature. This is mostly a collection of interesting effects, colorful language, and examples.

Fire

  • Your bolt of fire singes their armor (burning cloth, blackening leather, discoloring metal)
  • A tiny bead of fire explodes on contact
  • Showers them with red sparks
  • Your attack leaves behind a billowing trail of smoke
  • A fast-travelling meteor of flame soars from the sky towards the enemy.
  • Your flames leave blisters and cracked skin in its wake.
  • Your fire blackens the enemy’s flesh

Cold

  • You freeze the moisture in the air into icy daggers that fall onto your enemy
  • You freeze the water in their blood to damage them
  • Their skin turns blue and numb
  • You literally hurl a snowball at them.
  • Your spell leaves them covered in a layer of frost
  • A buildup of ice covers where your spell hit. (it’s easily shattered once they move, though)
  • A blast of icy wind and rain leaves them shivering.

Thunder

  • A crack of thunder pummels your foe
  • A high-pitched, deafening shriek focuses itself on the target
  • A thin trail of blood races from the foe’s ears from a sound no one else can hear
  • The enemy falls to their knees cupping their hands over their ears, gritting their teeth
  • You buffet the target with waves of thunderous sound
  • The ground shakes with the force of your spell. Brittle glass objects nearby shatter.

Lightning

  • Lightning comes from the sky to smite your foe
  • You all smell the faint odor of ozone before a bright bolt of lightning streaks toward the target of your spell
  • Before your enemy can blink they are showered in electrical sparks followed by crippling pain
  • The enemy’s back stiffens as the powerful current of lightning surges through them
  • Your attack leaves a permanent web of lightning shaped burns all over one side of their body
  • Your blast of lightning causes their skin to rupture as it travels through their body

Acid

  • Your acid sizzles as it burns a new, unnatural color into their skin
  • The attack melts their flesh, leaving them permanently disfigured at the site of the spell
  • Your spell’s acid causes blue fire to burn where it hit their skin, and bleaches their armor and belongings
  • A rancid smell fills the foe’s nostrils as the acid bubbles on their bare skin, burning through the simple cloth of their shirt.

Poison

  • You spew a poisonous cloud from your mouth at your opponent
  • A spectral viper or insect is flung at the opponent, biting them and filling them with magical venom
  • Your index and middle finger each grow a poisonous fang which you sink into your opponent’s arm (melee range spell attacks only)
  • The enemy’s mouth fills with a foul tasting liquid which forces its way down their throat

Necrotic

  • Your target’s flesh bubbles and boils as a black ichor sputters from the spell’s origin
  • The foe’s flesh festers with magical disease as boils and wounds quickly cover the affected area
  • A skeletal hand wriggles free from beneath the earth, flying towards the target
  • An incorporeal undead shrieks as it flies from your finger toward the enemy to deliver the spell’s effect
  • Black energy swirls around your arm before launching towards the enemy as if it had a life of its own
  • Your iridescent blue magic enters the target’s body and afflicts their soul, making them momentarily dazed as their eyes glaze over.

Radiant

  • A holy light shines from the skies to harm your target, regardless of time of day or obstructions
  • A halo of radiant energy surrounds your head and blinds the target as they gaze upon it
  • Enemies that aren’t of your alignment hear the whispers of your deity moments before being enveloped in a blinding white light
  • The foe’s eyes and mouth emit warm light and they howl in pain
  • A blade of radiant energy slashes through the victim, leaving a trail of blinking motes of light in its wake
  • The enemy’s skin blisters from the raw positive energy surging through them

So essentially this whole post was a creative writing assignment for myself, but I hope that it gives you guys new creative ideas for new spells or new ways to describe existing spells! They don’t much affect the mechanics of the spell at all, so most DMs I suspect will be fine with most of these descriptions if you want your character to cast spells a certain way.

“Voltron x 1900s Fashion” 

A horizontal 11x17″ print for Anime North (table G15)! This poster is a crossover; the Voltron paladins are posing for one of Leyendecker’s Arrow Collar advertisements. He’s one of my favourite artists so I felt the need to put him in haha. The original ad is known for its subtle hints of homoeroticism; at first it looks like Shiro is staring at Pidge, but his gaze is actually towards Keith (I don’t ship it, but I thought that was funny because Voltron is super gay). I made Shiro in the front as the guy everyone’s looking at because… I think everyone in the group loves him. I also made it colour-coordinated because I know it’s a bit hard to recognize them right away. And I changed the original ad text to a description of the 5 lions because I didn’t know what else. I spent SO long on this print (like 4 days kill me). This will probably go for $20. 

There are also funny WIPs of this on my Instagram  !!

Edit: because I’ve heard multiple people complain and get mad about this. Hunk is in the back there because this is a PARODY, so in the original piece, the man in the painting is in the EXACT same position he was in. It’s literally the same composition. It was just a coincidence that his face happened to be covered, it wasn’t intentional. 

anonymous asked:

If one hypothetically wanted to read your Eldritch Abomination Garfield fic, how would one go about finding it as directly searching for 'garfield' hypothetically does not include the fic?

“They bought it?” Lyman asked as Jon hung up the phone.

“I got the contract,” Jon confirmed, dazed. “I’m — I’m syndicated.”

“You did it, man!” Lyman said, clapping him on the back. Odie barked.

“They’re already thinking about merchandising deals,” Jon continued, staring into space.

“I told you things were going to turn around for you,” Lyman said with a nod. Odie continued barking, making it clear that he was not just trying to be supportive. “Hey, look, I’ve gotta take the dog for a walk. If the alarm goes off while I’m gone, can you take dinner out of the oven?”

“Yeah,” Jon said, with no real conception of what he was agreeing to. He still had not yet finished processing that phone call, the idea that he was going to be paid, consistently, that he was a working cartoonist, that his comics would be in papers. Merchandising deals. Merchandising.

It was not until he heard the door that Jon realized he was alone in the apartment.

Just him, and Garfield.

From the corner, it growled.

Jon’s heart spasmed; he hadn’t realized it was in the same room. “H—hey,” he said. It would have been a dumb thing to say if it was a normal cat. It was a dumber thing to say under the circumstances. Its eyes glowed red in the shadows. “How are you?” he asked, then winced as the cat growled again. “Heard the good news?” he asked weakly.

MY END OF THE CONTRACT HAS BEEN FULFILLED

It rumbled through his brain like an earthquake, words without words. He covered his ears even though it wouldn’t help. “Yeah, thanks for—”

I WILL FEED

Jon’s heart spasmed again, overwhelmed with the sense of a hunger not his own. “Right, about that—”

YOU WILL FEED ME it said, words written in blood, thick and hot.

“—yes, I got that, I’m just not really sure what I’m supposed to—”

MEAT and the word throbbed, tore.

“Would chicken be okay?”

UNACCEPTABLE it said in broken bone and jellied marrow.

“I don’t want to stereotype you by assuming you want to eat my roommate—”

YES GIVE ME HIS HEART it said, pulsing, torn flesh.

“—but you can’t eat Lyman.”

I͇̤͜ ̭̩W̨͕̪̠͙I̧̫͍͕̤̥̥̥L̜̜̭͔̪͢L̡͉͍͍͓̣ ͇F̤̜E̤̱̼̩͙̺͢E̥̳̫D̯͚̰ͅ

The glowing eyes moved from the shadows, grew larger, taller. Hellfire, if fire could cast dark instead of light, orange and red, fire and blood. The indistinct shape that might have been a cat became an indistinct shape that might have been a man, large, always large. Jon shrank back as it stretched to fill the room, tried not to look directly at it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin, even though it couldn’t have been, because he was still wearing his jacket.

There was a chiming sound.

WHAT WAS THAT

“Uh.” Jon swallowed, hard. “Dinner?”

FOOD

“Yes,” Jon said, “but I don’t know if you can eat people food…”

Garfield sat in the middle of the floor, wide as it was tall. Its gaze was baleful.

“Right. You can eat whatever you want.” Slowly Jon inched around the cat to head toward the kitchen. “I don’t really know what it is, though. It might be… vegan.”

Garfield hissed, the sound of pain, and Jon fled toward the oven.

I SMELL MEAT

Jon stopped himself from telling the cat get off the counter. “I think it’s a casserole,” he said, removing the dish to set it on the stove. He gingerly removed the lid, his hands safely wrapped in oven mitts. “Oh. It’s lasagna.”

GIVE IT TO ME

“It has to cool,” Jon said. Garfield hissed again, and the sound turned Jon’s blood to fiberglass. He backed away, and the cat leapt bodily and entirely into the baked pasta. It did not seem bothered by the fact that the pasta sauce was still bubbling, and Jon tried not to look at the void of its mouth. A black hole rimmed with fangs, an absence of all light, drawing in all that it touched to disappear within.

WHAT IS THIS it asked, and a hellfire paw batted at a stretchy piece of mozzarella.

“… cheese?”

The cat-shaped thing nodded, still sitting in the dish of lasagna.

WE DO NOT HAVE THIS

“You don’t have cheese in hell?”

It nodded again.

“I guess that’s what makes it hell.” If Garfield appreciated this observation, it did not show it. It cracked open its maw again, more lasagna disappearing, and Jon looked away. “That lasagna was supposed to feed us for a week,” he sighed. “How much longer do I need to do this?” he asked.

UNTIL YOU ARE SATISFIED

“Until I’m satisfied?”

YOU MUST FEED ME TO SATISFY YOUR HUNGER

Realization dawned. “Wait, but — I thought this was a one-time thing.”

IT WAS NOT

“If you leave, I get fired?”

PERHAPS

“So I might still be able to make it on my own.”

DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR SKILL IS ENOUGH TO BRING YOU ALL THAT YOU DESIRE

Jon thought of the portfolio sitting in his room, and sagged. “… no.”

It grew, limbs stretching, claws turning to fingers and then claws again. It sat on the counter like a solid mirage, licking red from its hands.

YOU WILL HAVE RICHES BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS it said in truffle oil and fur and gold. SO LONG AS I AM FED YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HUNGER

Syndication and merchandising deals and maybe someday a cartoon on television. His signature in every newspaper in every house in the country. In the world, even. He raked his fingers through his curls and tried not to look at its claws.

“I guess I’m stuck with you, then,” Jon said.

It didn’t slide off the counter the way a man would, shifted off like drifting smoke or licking flames, stood and was no shorter. Tall and broad and solid, a weight to its presence as it moved closer. Jon shrank back again as it loomed, and this show of submission seemed to please it. Hot breath and sharp teeth against his skin again, and he shivered.

YES YOU ARE



The Best Perfume Insults

I love people’s writing about perfume, because it’s forced to be so creative.  Scent is hard to talk about, so people have to resort to stories and metaphors, all of them intensely personal to the writer.

And when they don’t like a perfume, that creativity gives forth some of the best insults.  I have here curated my favorites from Perfumes: The Guide by Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez.  The list is long, but trust me, they’re all worth reading.

A disclaimer: The same thing that makes perfume reviews fun to read also makes them super subjective.  I have never found less of a consensus on anything than on perfume.  In other words, if you find your favorite perfume on this list, please don’t take it personally (and don’t blame me- I haven’t smelled most of these myself!)

Keep reading

Yuri on Ice interview translation - PASH! 2017/03 (p10-11)

The second part of the episode commentary by Mitsurou Kubo! I have now fixed it with all the italic & bold parts as in the magazine (in the magazine they are actually bold & bolder). If you have any questions please send me a private message and I’ll reply when I have some time.

You can find the first commentary about episodes 1-6 here.

Just a note: when she quotes lines from the episodes I’m not using any of the “official” English translations, I’m translating them as I would translate them myself, so they might not be like you are used to hear them, but I think you will understand which lines they are anyway.

The translation is under the cut because it’s long.

***If you wish to share this translation please do it by reblogging or posting a link to it***

***Re-translating into other languages is ok but please mention that this post is the source***

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Oh almighty napkin arm with googly eyes, I humble peregrin dare come forth with a request... could you make some character design breakdowns for some more realistic characters? Like your power ranger fanart? I tried to break them down on my own, but I'm not sure I did it that well... it's incredibly useful and interesting... Keep being awesome, and thanks for how you already helped me anyway!

Thanks for the patience, had to mull this one over. The more complex a design gets, the more difficult it is to break down. Basic character design tips may not be enough…so let’s delve into:

Character Design Tips Part 2!

Before we start, it’ll help to read my last character design post, where I laid out four concepts: shapes, silhouettes, colors, and inspiration. In this post, I aim to build on and rephrase these in a way that hopefully makes it easier to apply them. I’ll be drawing examples from my Power Rangers (2017) fanart to illustrate my points.

(Disclaimers:)

  • (Ideally, you should already be comfortable with drawing people. If not, look into figure drawing, gesture drawing, etc.)
  • (Whereas my previous tips were more tried and true, the tips here are more my own thoughts, so they may be half-formed.)
  • (Again, these are not rules. They’re just tips to add to your toolbox; the more tools you have, the more versatile you’ll become.)

Without further ado, let’s start!

Based off what we know about shapes, silhouettes, colors and inspiration, I want to cover: lines and angles, external and internal silhouettes, values, and references.

1. Shapes => Lines and Angles

Last time, I laid out three basic shapes:round, box, and triangle.

Problem: limiting yourself to these 3 shapes can be useful and fun for simpler designs, but they may be too simple or look out of place on more complex designs.

Solution: let’s go to the next level! Instead of shapes, shift your thinking to lines and angles!

Lines can be curved, straight, or diagonal.
Angles can range from obtuse to acute angles.
Follow your intuition: what feeling do you get from each line or angle?
If I follow my own intuition, I see that:

  • curved lines = natural, soft
  • straight lines = balanced, grounded
  • diagonal lines = off-balance, in motion
  • obtuse angles = broad, relaxed
  • right angles = rigid, unnatural
  • acute angles = slim, dynamic

If this sounds familiar, you’re right! It’s just the shapes all over again: 

  • curved lines make round shapes
  • straight lines with obtuse/right angles make boxy shapes
  • diagonal lines with acute angles make triangular shapes

But lo! Since we broke the shapes into their smaller components, it’s much more flexible! Now we can use lines and angles for more complex designs:

2. Silhouette => External and Internal Silhouettes

Last time, I explained the silhouette test: if you black out the figure, it should still be readable.

Problem: blacking out the figure only tests the outline of the design, i.e. the external silhouette. But what about the inside of the design?

Solution: block in the figure and test for the internal silhouette! 

If you want not just an interesting outline, but an interesting costume, block in the major components of your design to see if it has a readable internal silhouette. This test can help you avoid boring or cluttered costumes and makes your design stand out. If your internal silhouette is too empty, try adding props or designs. If it’s too busy, simplify it.


3. Colors => Values

Last time, I talked about the 60-30-10 and 70-30 rules for color.

Problem: those rules work on the assumption that you’re only using 2 to 3 colors. But what if I want to use more colors?

Solution: good news! The same idea applies if you split your palette into 3 major values: shadows, midtones, and highlights.

Balance your palette by converting your colors to grayscale and applying the 60-30-10 rule to the values. This is related to the idea of silhouettes; if you get a nice internal silhouette, you’ll probably end up with a nicely balanced set of palette values, and vice versa.

(Fun fact! You can split your palette in different ways. In a watercolor tutorial, Miyazaki splits the palette into bright, dark, black, green 1, green 2, blue 1, and blue 2.)

4. Inspiration => References

“Good artists copy, great artists steal!” -Picasso

Problem: Coming up with something 100% original is tedious and doesn’t always give great results. It saps the inspiration right out of you!

Solution: It’s a lot easier to steal ideas from references!

Note: don’t just copy, steal! Cherry-pick/massage the aspects of the reference you find the most appealing and work them into your design. Ditch anything that you don’t care about. Make it your own! Make it something you can put your own name on! Below is the reference image I used for my designs:

And below is my fanart:

That’s it for now! Thanks for reading! If you guys want to see any other topics, feel free to ask and I can try my hand at it.

If you want to see my previous character design tips, click here.
If you want to see the full-size Power Rangers fanart lineup, click here.
If you want to see other character designs I’ve done, click here.

how to study as a busy student

i personally go through this a lot because i have to balance saturday band, honor band, auditions, performances, history club, national history day with school and nonexistant friends. so here u go, friend!! this is my advice to keep up with your (busy) studying!! ha see what i did there im so funny

1. have a planning system. this is a no-brainer. but honestly you’re going to need something to help you keep track of all your deadlines AND your afterschool activities. it doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy; heck it can even be on your phone. but make sure you’re keeping track of everything.

2. use all the time you can to do your homework. if you’re really behind or you have a lot of homework and not enough time to do it at home, do your homework when you can during school. this does NOT mean trying to set the world record for fastest writer while your teacher is collecting the homework. this means on the bus, waiting for your food/the bus/your friends, those down periods during and between classes, during sports practice, and even during lunch. however do NOT make a habit of this!! i get that its a lot, but please still try to have a life!!!

3. set aside a day a week to solely catch up on school work, and another day just to relax. i usually have saturday as my school work day and sunday as my day to relax and prepare for the week. this may seem contradictory, seeing as you may have sports practice or rehearsal on saturday or something. but think of it this way: you’re already going to be working your butt off that day. you might as well keep that flow going and get all your school work together and catch up on any missing assignments. you can also use that sunday off as your motivation to work hard because youre being rewarded with a completely free day.

4. do your homework on friday. please. just do it. this kind of follows the same concept as above: you have school that day anyways, so keep working your hardest. now, if you have no friends like me, this’ll be easy. but if you have plans on fridays (which you should, seriously, go out), stop working 1-2 hours before you have to go somewhere. you can continue any work you havent completed on your catch-up day.

5. drop one or two things. this sounds really painful!!! but being in a lot of extracurriculars and having a nice application/resume is not as nice as your mental health. not being able to balance too many things at once will stress you out and make you sick. like, i used to be in drama club and i also had piano class on wednesdays. once i got older, i realized that these things looked nice on my honor society application, but i didnt have time for what really mattered. (plus i didn’t rly like them anyways.) if you can work your way around it, fine. but otherwise, keep the things close to your heart and drop what you absolutely don’t have time for.

6. if worst comes to worst, talk to your teachers. they will understand, if you’re struggling to be a well-rounded student and keep up your grades at the same time. this doesn’t mean lie or use your teachers as an easy way out. but rather, if everything becomes too overwhelming, talk to someone.

i really hope that helped @ the original anon who asked me this question! sorry this was so late! i’m quite the busy student myself hahaha

2

hey hello here’s the car boys unifying theory, i made a fun corkboard with the thread everywhere just like them conspiracy theorists in the movies

spoilers for the finale of car boys & the stolen century arc of the adventure zone follow

the crutch of this theory rests on the the two endings being separate timelines: the boystos/separation timeline (the bad ending) [the ending shown before the credits, when griffin and nick are separated and set adrift in endless emptiness] and the candle in the wind timeline (the true ending) [the after-credits ending, griffin and nick stuck in the car together, perpetually fleeing from the blob through the time ring] {there is no good end}

the separation timeline / bad end

  • most of what happens in this timeline to the boys is based off this video by youtube user brockrin- which the boys have tweeted about so by my standards its canon plflfnfft
  • to sum it up- alone for an eternity in endless Nothingness, the boys become the bustos-  nick 1.0 and griffin 2.0- and attempt to go back and stop themselves in the past from fucking everything up, but fail
  • this timeline (im sorry for homestuck terminology but,) is a stable time loop, nothing ever changes- its them going around and around again trying and failing to stop themselves. its bad
  • but its important to note that griffin and nick were not the only ones in the time ring when they got separated- which brings me to Ball
  • Ball has qualities of both the ovo and the blob, as it has blob-like physics (even leading to the it hates water! revelation) and its roundness and fondness of rolling just like ovo
  • Ball becomes separated from itself. the white sections become the ovo, and the black sections the blob

the candle in the wind timeline / true end

  • now things get a little buckwild
  • the basic premise of this timeline is that nick and griffin stay in the waterproof pessima lx for , basically eternity, travelling through the time ring in an endless chase with the blob
  • the reason that they don’t break down like in the bad end is pretty much that being stuck in a perpetual expanse of time and space with a friend is infinitely better than being stuck there alone
  • this is where coolgames inc starts! essentially a way to pass time when youve quite literally got nothing but time. (and as nick said, there’s wifi in the void)
  • this is where the guest-o-matic in the cgi animations comes in! and, in addition, there is a “canon” connection with cb in the cook for cube cgi animation- perhaps the two timelines converging for just a second ? 
  • uncle buck from uncle buck
  • in the time ring we see countless galaxies pass by as they travel downwards- they travel through endless amounts of realities and planes as the blob pursues them
  • taking a moment here to explain something else integral to this- in car boys, nick has the power of creation, the ability to spawn and create objects in the game. griffin, conversely, has the power of manipulation, he’s much of the driving force behind important decisions and actions taken in the show. this becomes important
  • this is when touch the skyrim takes place- in a number of the universes they pass through down and down into the time ring, griffin takes advantage of these powers of manipulation to modify the word around them because like why not, its fun
  • what’s wrong with this dream, nick
  • as the boys + the blob pass through universe after universe in the time ring, the bob catalyzes the event in the original universe of Jon (taz) that originally creates the hunger- the blob merges with the inhabitants of that universe and the hunger is born 
    (note: this may be edited in the coming weeks as we learn more abt the hunger and its origin)
  • and the boys realize this- that the universes that theyre passing through are being consumed behind them- and they begin looking for a solution, which materializes in the form of the original taz universe, the homeworld of thb and ipre and all that. 
  • it’s also at this point that the light of creation really like, becomes the light of creation its- its nick? its nick. nick is the light of creation. this fact being proposed is what prompted me to make this theory in the first place
  • griffin shapes the world of taz and becomes the dm/narrator (note especially in recent episodes during the into to taz the narrator uses ‘we’ and ‘us’- as if he is part of this world and is involved in the story) and the two boys follow the ipre through the planes of existence in order to help them find a way to defeat the hunger/blob and save all of reality from the monster that they created
  • and i think its a canon thing that the light of creation is split into the relics? that happens. thats pretty sad i think
  • ..until we get to the present- the hunger descending upon what will likely be the multiverse’s final stand against the hunger in the main taz universe (the one with two moons and stuff). cant wait for the taz finale bros

other things & honorable mentions

  • thanks to everyone in the mcelstuck & car boys discord for help with this whole thing! 
  • @rikki-tikki-taako​‘s explanation of how the true timeline boys are saved from the bad timeline: “what i’m getting at is why didn’t true timeline nick and griffin get separated and warped
    the true saviors of true timeline nick and griffin
    emoji car and miku car
    embodiments of crucial aspects of nick and griffins beings, their integrity largely untampered with(i don’t believe either of them ever god trashed), and bow i think of it relatively unscathed compared to the horrors introduced to everything else because there were always more important matters to draw nick and griffin away, they came just when nick and griffin didn’t have time to make the same mistakes as all the other timelines
    so in the midst of god trashing, their pillars distorting, they combined with their respective aspects and regained their conceptual integrity, in a way like pause error respawning frequently merged objects in beamng, the pause indicated by their seeming lack of awareness of having to merge with them”
  • @cinnamon-marthmallows​ originally came up with “nick is the light of creation”, the fact that spawned this entire theory
  • @goodraandyy​‘s infograph on the split timelines and commentary on the ball/blob/hunger that you should check out & reblog here
    “ball turned into the blob which followed nick and griffin towards the taz universe - however, it is not john himself, it was simply drawn to his misery and suffering and mistook him for nick and griffin. john then harboured the power of the blob to create the hunger storm, which took over the universe“
  • @horticulturelesbian​ created the car boys discord thank u so much kar
  • @cheshiure​ compiled the cb unifying theory google doc
  • @coneboyofficial made this beautiful image
  • @magehand​ for this image: 
  • @babylonian @griffins-tumbo

tl;dr

  • the two endings of car boys are separate timelines
  • griffin and nick in the bad/pre-credits timeline became the bustos, Ball became the ovo & the blob
  • griffin and nick in the true/post-credits timeline continued travelling through the time ring, coming up with coolgames inc and touch the skyrim
  • the hunger is born from the blob interacting with jon’s whole deal
  • taz happens, griffin becomes the dm, nick becomes the light of creation, the boys follow the ipre gang through the universes to try and find a way to finally defeat it

thanks everybody 

#Fill The Train 2

A month ago, I made this post, urging the fanart community at large to watch and make art of Infinity Train, and post it under the tag #Fill The Train in order to make the tag a lot less empty. I would reblog and promote each artist who participated, and gather all of the art in one big post.

It was a resounding success, with many artists creating great pieces and turning the tag lively.

But now the tag is getting quiet again, so it’s time to revitalize it once more.

Please, if you haven’t already, watch the Infinity Train pilot. It’s only 8.5 minutes of your time, and it’s really good.

Now, this Fill The Train is the same as the last one. Post original art to the #Infinity Train and #Fill The Train tags and I will reblog them and compile them into a big post.

However, this time there’s an optional theme.

While drawings of Tulip, One-One and Corginia are great, I’d really like to see your original content. Got an original character that would fit to the Infinity Train universe? A new species or robot? You want to design your own train car with its own puzzles and environment? Go for it.

You have until April 6th to submit your art to the tag. Afterwards I will compile another promo post for all of the artists.

Thank you for helping me bring attention to a great show, and good luck.

🔑✨ Hoe/Self Care Tips & Tricks ✨🔑

|| all of these tips, are my tried and trues’ , although they may not work the same for you so tweak some details to your liking ||

✨ these are more pampering tips , that you’re welcome to do everyday because queens do what they want ✨

✅ i wrote this at 3Am so please bare with me through all the terrible grammar and spelling mistakes ✅

•DRINK PLENTY OF WATER•

😊 F A C E 😊

1.) Cleanse your skin with your favorite cleanser, use a electric face brush if available.

🐝 ( I use the H2O+ Dual Action Exfoliating Cleanser , & A Clarisonic. TJ Maxx has some cheaper alternatives!)

2.) Apply a toner.

🐝 ( Thayer’s Original Witch Hazel with Aloe Vera is sooo bomb)

\ apply face mask of choice and rinse when time is up. Tone Again.//

3.) •optional• Rub an Oxy Pad on any active breakouts.

4.) Spray Rose Water all over your face and neck.

🐝 ( TJ Maxx has the pearl essence Rose Water for around $6 us dollars )

5.) Apply Aloe Vera gel!

🐝( If you don’t have a aloe vera plant 🌱 around you , make sure when you buy Aloe Vera from the store that its clear, 100% av, and Alcohol Free.)

6.) Apply Facial Oils of your choosing + make sure you get your neck and chest!

🐝 ( I use tree tree oil and Palmers Skin Therapy Oil Face, HOLY GRAILS😩)

7.) finally apply your moisturizer,

🐝 ( usually during the day I’ll just spray more rose water , and at night I’ll apply the first aid beauty moisturizer VERY generously )

👅 B O D Y 👅:

// Scrubs : ORGANIC VIRGIN Coconut Oil + Organic Brown Sugar 🔑 ,

🐝( great all over body scrub, makes your legs super silky)

Lemon Juice + Honey + Turmeric + Organic Brown Sugar •optional• Almond Oil

🐝 ( WORKS LIKE A DREAM at lightening inner thighs and underarms over time , leave on for 20 minutes!)

Aloe Vera + Palmers Skin Therapy Oil Body + Organic Brown Sugar

🐝 ( I use this to get rid of in-grown hairs a couple days after shaving!) //

• adding a cup of apple cider vinegar to a shallow bath , enough to go right above your 🌺, balances your PH •

1.) Use a Scrub and exfoliate every inch of your body , avoiding your 🌺 you DO NOT wanna get sugar near her ladies.

2.) Rinse, and Use Aloe Vera to shave , EVERYWHERE . I haven’t had a bad reaction but please be careful 🤷🏽‍♀️

3.) Use A Body Brush with your FAVE body wash and scrub some more !

🐝 ( Dial Skin Therapy Replenishing body wash , Himalayan Pink Salt is 🔑🔑👅 )

4.) Get your hair wet with LUKEWARM water and condition your hair,

🐝 ( I don’t shampoo my hair, like ever , but if you do go ahead and add that to this step 😊 )

4.2) Rinse, Turn off the water and Apply A Hair Mask.

🐝 ( Any Shea Moisture masks are 💗😩)

5.) Now is time to take care of your 🌺
• you have already cleaned her up, just using water and your hands.
• now apply aloe , coconut oil or olive oil {if your gonna be having sex after this STEER clear of the oils they disintegrate condoms , be safe ladies } and proceed to shave SIDEWAYS not up or down {trust me} to help prevent ingrown hairs.

🐝 ( I love mens razors to shave , but BIC has some great 5 blade razors that work awesome too .)

6.) turn the water back on and rinse the mask out of your hair and rinse your 🌺 once more, making sure you got a clean, stubble free , shave.

7.) • if you need to , take a SEPARATE razor and shave your legs , arms , underarms ect. •

8.) After you get out the shower , apply olive or coconut oil and Aloe to your 🌺 & the rest of your body while you’re still damp use a THICK moisturizer to lock all that in {again not on your 🌺, scented things can throw u wayy off } + any body oils you have .

🐝( I LIVE for the Palmers skin therapy oil for your body 💗 and the OGX extra creamy coconut miracle lotion is perfect and smells like a tropical DREAM )

9.) Slather lotion and oil all over your feet and put some thick socks on, for BABY SOFT feet in a couple hours!

💇🏽 H A I R 💇🏽:

I don’t really have a list for hair care but I’ll give you a quick run down:

Apply coconut oil and aloe all throughout your hair and have someone braid it for you before you go to bed + afterwards put your bonnet on if u wear one.

You’ll wake up with silky soft hair & if you have curls {like yours truly } the braids will tame them some, but if you want them back like I always do, just spray them with some plain water.

good as new ❤️

… ill add more when i think of more 💗💗

All It Takes (three)

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Be happy Bucky is here to handle everything.

Word Count: 4116 | Rating: R

Warnings: SMUT. oral (f receiving), face riding, dirty talking, two nsfw gifs, UNPROTECTED SEX (wrap your wang, before you bang!)

A/N: I am just going to leave this for y’all thirsty hoes. But I’m baffled by the feedback I got on the first tow part, so just wanna say THANK YOU!

also sorry for any typos

Masterlist here

All It Takes Part One Part Two 

(*gifs are not mine!)

Keep reading

Spirit Work Terms

These are some of the terms and definitions that I personally use. They change a lot as I get new info and I didn’t create any of the words lol. Other people have other definitions and I’m not trying to insinuate that mine are the “right” meanings. They’re simply just my thoughts on things.


Spirits: Funny enough, the hardest thing for me to define. I want to say anything that doesn’t exist in the physical realm, aka anything without matter. But there’s a difference between spirits and simply energy and that’s where things get fuzzy. Also, there’s a lot of things that don’t have matter that I wouldn’t consider spirits just because of that such as concepts like justice or things like heat (aka a non woo energy). 

Etheric Copy: Also known as the “energy body”. This is actually more so a type of energy that makes up a spirit than the spirit itself but I felt it was worth mentioning. It applies to the spirit that lies within physical beings, living and nonliving and is the energetic form and feeling that their spirit takes. Sometimes the etheric copy isn’t an exact copy of the physical form where one’s etheric copy can have aspects of their astral form, such as wings on a human’s copy. 

Entities: Living spirits that are still going about their lives. They can grow, have families, withdraw money from the bank, die, etc. They can be super complex beings or just simple, mindless creatures. The important things are that they can still age and that they don’t have physical bodies. 

Ghosts: The spirits of the dead, whether they were originally physical or not. These are the spirits that you’d meet from the bones and remains of earthly organisms but you can also meet ghosts from entities that have passed. Usually hang out in graveyards, places that they used to live, or the respective netherworld of their culture. If you kill an entity, you might still need to deal with their ghost. 

[Name] Guardian: A spirit that encompasses many other spirits. For example, a “species spirit” which is a spirit of an entire species of organism, not just an individual, would fall under this. (They aren’t literally made of the individuals that fall under them). I also just sometimes write the name in all caps like COFFEE for Coffee Guardian.    

Nonliving Spirits: The spirits of objects. These can have an etheric copy if working with physical objects but it also applies to objects in the nonphysical worlds. Usually are dormant and need an energy input to be “awakened”. They usually like to do what they were made for, examples being hammer spirits that like to hammer, lamps that like to be turned on, etc. On the other hand, some nonliving spirits have the strength of gods but their nonliving nature means that they’re not actively looking for worshipers or to strengthen their power like most true gods (Ex- the Sun and the Moon).   

Demons: A “catch-all” term for the diverse group of spirits that usually live in the lower realms of the astral. They also usually work in “darker” magics but there’s some who are “lighter” and others who don’t do any magic. A lot of spirits with different names, appearances, cultures, personalities etc. fit under this broad classification. Think about how we use Kingdom Animalia to describe thousands of species that share only a few characteristics. 

Gods: Strong entities with access to power levels and areas of the universe that are inaccessible to humans and other spirits. For example, humans can create life by using their personal will and energy (and perhaps that of spirit allies too) to make thoughtforms and the like whereas gods can create life (and free will from the get go) simply by using the energy from a life-creating domain of the universe. The more connections they have to these domains, the stronger they become. A lot of their strength also comes from worship and its many forms though not all gods are a part of a religion and not all gods interact with humans. They can also form different “aspects” which are like different versions of themselves that are usually influenced by the way their followers worship and work with them. They can create these without influence though it’s not as easy.  

Servitors: Simple, mindless spirits that are created from a human’s (can be an entity’s too probably) will and energy. Programmed for one certain task and are fed through the creator’s energy aka their creator giving them attention. The creator can dismantle them and incorporate their energy into new servitors, back into themselves (not recommended), release their energy into the universe, or forget about them so that they disappear into the universe on their own. They lack a mind, free will, personality, emotions, etc. unless they’ve gone rogue. A rogue servitor is one that their creator no longer has full control over and no, that’s not a good thing.  

Thoughtforms: Essentially the same thing as a servitor but they’re usually more complex with thoughts, feelings, minds and potentially more than one task programmed into them. Just like servitors, they’re dependent on their creator for food but a properly made thoughtform would have another food source that they can rely on. Initially, they lack knowledge beyond what their creator already knows and free will, however, through experience and interactions with others they can gain both of those things. The only way to know if a TF truly has free will is if they go against the task they were programmed for (a companion TF no longer wants to be a companion, a guardian TF no longer feels the need to guard what they were instructed to, etc.). When they have completed their task, they can be “put to rest” and released into the universe or released as an independent being since they do have the other food source. They can also go rogue if they become independent without their creator’s “permission” and can be dangerous to the creator and others depending on how they gained their independence (*cough* abused/neglected TFs ).   

Egregores: Spirits that are created from the will and energy of multiple people. Pop-Culture spirits are the most obvious example but egregores can be created by a small group of people like a coven or just a bunch of friends too. Like thoughtforms and servitors, they are fed by attention and smaller egregores can die if they aren’t given enough attention and don’t have an alternative food source. I find that similar to gods, these usually have “aspects” with different facets depending on how many people were involved in their creation (the more people, the more aspects). They’re more powerful than thoughtforms.   

Godforms: Human-created gods. Usually come from extremely successful egregores that obtained the attention and energy of many, many people. I’d say characters like Pikachu or Harry Potter have reached this level or perhaps even the spirit of the USA or McDonald’s. They can also be intentionally created gods like if a group of people began worshiping a being as if they were a god. While egregores are usually controlled in some form by the people that created them, godforms are completely independent and no longer require their attention just to exist. But just like gods, more attention means more power so they probably seek out more “followers” by trying to expand their influence. I don’t know for sure if they have connections to the exclusive domains of the universe that regular gods have but I can see things like the USA godform gaining access to the same domains that war gods have or Pikachu being connected to an electricity domain like Zeus is. Some would argue that all gods are actually godforms but I don’t know enough about the nature and origins of gods to make that judgement. (I’ve seen “megregore” used as a term for a godform that isn’t “religiously” worshiped but I personally don’t differentiate the two). 

Let’s talk for a bit, because I’ve known about this for a while and I think now’s a good time to explain how I feel about using music not originally written for OC’s. This might be a lengthy read, because it’s personal. This vid was one of the first to use Tokyovania as Ink Sans’ theme.

I absolutely love when music can be associated with a character. I think it’s magical when a track makes you think of something you love or enjoy, and I love seeing messages or comments that I track I wrote would fit someone’s OC, because it feels special. Originally, this video was meant to be a tribute, with my track as the proposed theme, and I didn’t worry about it. After all, I didn’t write Tokyovania for Ink Sans, I wrote it for personal reasons, and I was sure most would understand that.

After a few months, it started to catch on for some reason that this indeed was written for him. A few other tribute vids were posted, and my name was nowhere to been seen as the artist of the track. On some videos, the name was also changed to Inklovania. The “Tokyo” was just erased, on a song containing the melody of “Tokyo Teddy Bear”, an incredibly special track I adored in 2014-2015. 

Back then I was in high school. It was me against the world, and I had two friends. Things became rough around September in 2015, and I’ll keep the events hidden because they’re not something I need a reminder of. By December I was alone, and I had nowhere to turn but to music. I walled myself off and focused on composing, and being quietly alone all the time eventually led to the idea of Undertronic.

It was around this time that I decided to compose a remix of Tokyo Teddy Bear, as it’s a song I associate with wishing I could be anywhere else when things aren’t great. Seeing as I was also remixing Undertale at the time, I thought I’d combine it with another track, as a particular character was also in the same situation as I was, in terms of emotion.

In short, it was a special little remix to me and it would stay that way until Ink Sans became involved. Like I mentioned, I love when others use my music for OC’s, but I started to realize there was something wrong when I was accused of stealing this theme from Ink Sans, that it solely belonged to him, that I didn’t write it and I was a terrible person.

And the list goes on and was almost constant. To many, I’ve been disregarded as the artist of the track because “It doesn’t matter who wrote it,” and nothing hurts more to a musical artist than having a personal song be taken, even accidentally, from you and it suddenly becomes something else. The meaning behind the song no longer matters, and no matter what I do, this song will always be known as his theme. 

It feels like a inconceivable back-stab knowing that literally millions believe this is his theme. I don’t even want to know how many would believe I stole the track from an OC, as if an actual artist doesn’t exist and the track magically created itself. Months went by, then a year went by, and I was very bitter about this track and the accusations I kept receiving. Finally I decided to write a response, and this response was “Tokyovania Control.”

I wrote in the description that I didn’t like the old Tokyovania. This is only partially true. I loved it for what it represented to me, I hated it for how I was being treated because of it.

If you may have noticed, I included new lyrics for Tokyovania Control. It was a slightly hidden, but direct message to how I felt, and it started at 0:53. Breakdown of the meaning is in the brackets.

How’d I get this feeling?  [How’d it come to this?]
I am running from this beauty,  [I am running from Tokyovania.]
Misunderstood or  [It’s been misunderstood what the track is about.]
Whom it’s made for?  [Who was the track made for? Even I’m not sure now.]
There’s no purpose,  [The song has lost its original meaning.]
Words are worthless.  [Explaining/arguing won’t do anything.]
Well, it’s still charming.  [I still adore the track though. It was special to me.]
I’d say “Sorry.”  [Sorry, it was my mistake to let harsh words harm me.]
“My mistake to let it harm me.”
“Pardon my writing.”  [Pardon my music, I’m sorry I got in your way, I should be thankful that this track is loved right? Indeed I am selfish for believing my name should be next to Tokyovania.]
Though it hurts, it still sounds special taken from me,
“Heh, oh well.”  [Though it hurts, Tokyovania still sounds special taken from me. There’s nothing I can do now, so oh well.]

It was hidden well, and I didn’t expect anyone to catch on. And I was right, no one figured out why these lyrics were added or what they meant.

So no, I still don’t mind when a track I write is used for an OC’s theme. I only mind when I become non-existent as the producer, because “Who cares who wrote it, just enjoy the music.” I also mind when I am repeatedly told my work doesn’t belong to me, and I’m a horrible person for stealing a theme that belongs to an OC.

It’s one of the reasons I tend to include signature melodies in my music now. I don’t want to be forgotten or disassociated with my work. I don’t want to be told I don’t deserve to be the artist. Is it annoying? To some it is, but it’s a hell of a lot better than going through another Tokyovania situation. Having a track recognized by millions as an OC’s theme scares me much more than having someone simply steal the track, and nothing is worse to a musician than being repeatedly told my work doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to an OC, and I’m scum for thinking otherwise.

I suppose what I’m trying to say, is be careful when you decide to pick songs to represent OC’s or AU’s. You may think no harm will be done, but it’s impossible to tell if something will take off. I don’t think this has ever been discussed before. I haven’t seen any musicians write about this, or share their thoughts. But I am friends with many of the Undertale remixers, and it’s sad to see that this has also been happening to one of my best friends Kamex with his “Your Best Friend” remix:

His music is gorgeous. He’s so kind & doesn’t deserve to be treated this way. If the remix is titled “Undertale Remix”, that does not mean it is an AU Remix. It is a remix for Undertale. But because this theme was used in an AU theme compilation video, the track apparently belongs to Underfresh. Again, no artist apparently exists and track magically created itself. Even worse, he feels he needs to prove it, so far as to say he has the project files if he needs to show it. To some, he’s not even respected as the producer. If you understand how I feel with Tokyovania, you can imagine how he feels as well.

Even Inktale’s creator recognizes Tokyovania as a theme for Ink, though it’s probably accidental.

Which makes me feel even more guilty, because I hate bringing people down. And knowing this wasn’t written for the AU will probably be a disappointing let-down.

So that’s about it, I thought I might as well share my thoughts, now that it’s almost been a year since this has been going on.

On another note, I’ve been working on something for Dusttale and Outertale. The Dusttale track will probably be the next vid, I dunno.

[Edit: I took a look to see if there were any comments marked as held for review, and the first one I find is-]

[The word choice gets more colorful in there.]

Reasons to watch the New Russian Holmes series (2013)

I’ve blogged a lot about this show over the last month or so, but I’ve been meaning to make a big post about it all in one place, so here we go!

Originally posted by spiritcc

A brief intro for those who care:

Sherlock Holmes (2013), or, as it seems to be popularly called, New Russian Holmes (as opposed to the old Soviet Holmes), is an eight-episode Russian-language Sherlock Holmes adaptation directed by Andrei Kavun, starring Igor Petrenko as Holmes and Andrei Panin as Watson. It first aired in Russia in November 2013, but has had no official English release.

So where can I watch it?

Despite the limited release, all eight episodes are available on Youtube, with English subtitles, translated thanks to the excellent @spiritcc​.

Yeah but why should I watch it?

Because it is excellent. I don’t want to spoil people too much because discovering things yourself is really the best, but let’s be a bit more specific:

The opening credits:

Even before the first scene, we get treated to a beautiful opening sequence with really great music, but this isn’t just a sequence to shove credits in your face, it’s not even just an aesthetically pleasing series of shots of Watson’s notebook, the opening sequence forms part of the episode and part of the series as a whole.

Every opening is unique, from the images to the voiceover, and is as much a part of the story as the substantive scenes themselves. 

The refreshing take on canon:

If you’re going to watch this, you need to know that the fundamental premise of the show is that the ACD canon lies. Watson’s “stories” are just that: stories. Holmes in real life is different, Watson is different, Mrs Hudson is different, the cases went differently, hell, even Gregson is different. So if you’re looking for a faithful replication of canon, this isn’t the show for you, but once you take on board this fundamental premise, it’s fantastic because it forces you to think about canon in a new light, and to consider the implications of Watson as an unreliable narrator.

You’ll get to see how and why Watson came to write “canon” the way he did, and you’ll get to see how everyone reacts to it. Every other adaptation (with the exception of Bert Coules’ radio series perhaps, but even that adheres to canon quite strictly) treats canon as more or less the “truth” and bases their version off that to create an output; this show treats canon as the output, and works backwards to imagine the “true” series of events behind it. This aspect (at least for me) was one of the most delightful themes to watch develop throughout the episodes, and it really shows how much original thought and passion went into the conception and creation of the show.

Watson as the true protagonist:

This sort of follows on from the fundamental premise of the canon stories being mere stories. Watson is the person through whom we get to know Holmes; everything we read is Watson’s doing, so it’s natural that the protagonist should also be Watson. We see the world from Watson’s perspective.

It’s not a story about this genius Holmes and his sidekick Watson, it’s a story about Watson and his adventures with this intriguing man, Holmes, and in that way it makes the show very grounded and very real.

Holmes the nerd:

For some reason, Igor Petrenko’s Holmes has been likened to Robert Downey Jr.’s Holmes, but I don’t think that’s accurate at all. Whereas RDJ’s Holmes veers more towards grubby cocky action hero who happens to be good at reasoning (and I don’t say that with any scorn), Petrenko’s Holmes is very much grounded in the same sheer intellect that defines canon Holmes, only this version is a more flawed, nervous character, which I think makes him more interesting. Petrenko does an excellent job with the quirks and mannerisms of the character. He also keeps insects in jars in his room.

nerd.

Watson the military man:

A lot of adaptations emphasise Watson’s role as a doctor, but few seem to remember that he was also a soldier, so it’s refreshing once again to see this series not only acknowledge that military background, but to explicitly keep it front and centre the entire time.

Watson the surgeon:

For all its joviality, the show doesn’t shy away from graphic realities either. Watson is more than just a doctor, he’s a surgeon. We see him handle the scalpel more than he does the stethoscope.

Watson the badass:

Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Watson’s facials:

I know I’ve posted a lot about this but seriously Panin’s acting is really one of the highlights of this show, he was such an excellent actor, absolutely convincing in his role.

Brand new revised subtitles by yours truly!

Over the last two months I’ve gone through and edited all the English subs for the series, so hopefully everything will read a lot smoother! Any remaining mistakes are entirely my responsibility.

The humour:

Sort of reminiscent of the tone of the Soviet series, this series shares that light-heartedness, but it sure as hell isn’t a joke either. It’s not dark and edgy for the sake of being dark and edgy. It doesn’t pull the cheap trick of taking advantage of your feels. The series sets out to tell a story and it tells a beautiful story and you will genuinely love the characters for who they are. And you will feel good about it. Yes, you will even love Lestrade.

Watson taking a bath:

The hilariously bad English (I laugh in good faith):

The creepy autopsy  man:

This weird ass scene:

Originally posted by nitefise-art

Kilts!

Moriarty hiding in the first fucking episode no less

not showing you, you have to spot him yourself

And finally, their timeless friendship:

Originally posted by random-nrh-gifs

Originally posted by idlesuperstar

Originally posted by random-nrh-gifs

Never has a show felt more genuine or more satisfying to watch when the final credits roll. This is a Sherlock Holmes that has had thought, love, and appreciation poured into its making, and it shows. 

So, llamas, go forth! You can watch the entire series here. I hope you have as much fun as I did :)

Sniffles

One for the always lovely, @loonylittlemoony. You asked me to stop attacking you…I have a problem with listening, I think. ;)  Loads of love for you- Sar! x 

(also… I’m not sorry about the cliche title, you’ll see why.) 


You heard it before you recognized  it.

It was a week ago, over morning tea. Harry had been in his usual seat at the island in your kitchen, one hand wrapped around  his cup of tea and the other holding his phone while he swiped through his notifications.  You were standing on the other side, sipping at your cup of coffee and thumbing through a magazine that come earlier that week. 

Mornings were a peacefully quiet affair for the most part with Harry and you. After a good portion of it was spent with him whining and holding you hostage under the covers with him, you two would get up and get ready on your own pace.  Popping in and out of the bathroom and bumping hips, the occasional pat to your bum as he walks by. Yet you always made time to share a cuppa before you were off on your separate ways.

At first you think it’s your imagination, or perhaps just a coincidence. Your eyes pause in their trail across the words for a moment, corner of the page caught between your index finger and thumb as you listen closely. You wait for the noise to sound again, but instead you hear the sole sound of Harry sipping his tea. You bite your lip and go back to the article.

When it happens again, though, twice in succession you look up with a frown. 

Keep reading

Forget me not

It’s been about a year since my last Miraculous Ladybug fanfic list. Given the fandom is three years old and season 2 is right around the corner (hopefully), I believe it’s time to relive and explore some of the best fanfics the fandom has to offer. By no means is this list comprehensive. Many fics aren’t on here. (I’m working on a list for newer fics, so stay tuned!)

Rainy Days by @thelastpilot (Not rated)
A storm rolls through Paris and refuses to let up, so when a water fearing cat is rescued by the kind efforts of his designing classmate he starts to pay a little closer attention to someone he should have always known better.

he’s not a siren by @miraculousturtle (Rated T)
Merman AU. Their meeting is orchestrated by fate, conducting them one at a time to step on the stage. With the flick of the baton, in time, they will sing the same song, but only if they aren’t swept away by the ocean’s mighty waves.

An Unexpected Surprise by @sweetprincessluck (Rated M)
Adrien Agreste. Age 26. A successful international supermodel, currently changing careers to a CEO of a fashion empire. Was born and raised in Paris, had moved to the USA 6 years ago, came back for a visit. Kind, handsome, lonely. Had experienced a lot, had seen even more. Had nothing left that could surprise him anymore.Except, maybe, this - a small, blonde girl, with emerald eyes and freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose – a splitting image of his mother Lillian Agreste, excluding, perhaps, the freckles.Her name was Emma. Emma Dupain-Cheng, to be exact.

Obsession by @kryallaorchid (Rated T)
Miraculous has unintended side effects. A chance encounter leaves Chat Noir in Marinette’s magic hands. Scritch and scratch, this kitty has needs. MariChat. 

Smoulder by @midnightstarlightwrites (Rated T)
In which Adrien loses a bet and becomes an underwear model, Marinette loses her mind, and the whole fiasco starts a fire which might lead to the pair discovering their identities.

Retrouvailles by @gigiree (Rated G)
There’s an art to telling stories. There’s an art to ending them. Just know that saying “the end” is just another way of saying it’s a new beginning. When she says goodbye, her luck is gone. His has just begun.Tattoo and Flowershop AU!

Over the Wall by @imthepunchlord (Rated G)
The accident, while unintentional, was costly. For her wrong doings against Chloe, Marinette is sent over the wall to die. But instead of death, she winds up in a strange, unnerving world. Good thing she’ll have a cat to watch her back in this bizarre place.

Chasing the C/h/atwalk by @runningoutofink (Rated T)
Paris. The city of lights, love and fashion. Follow the progress of Marinette Dupain Cheng as she enters the extremely competitive world of Reality television for a chance to be the winner of Project Runway: France.

Lucky Us by @geek-fashionista (Rated T)
-AU- Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s life isn’t going as planned: twenty-six, recently dumped, and running her parents’ bakery. The highlights of her day are the emails sent by her mysterious pen pal, Chat Noir. That is, until handsome model Adrien Agreste starts swinging by the bakery after hours. But how is he to know the Ladybug he loves is standing right in front of him?

Guardians by @wintermoth (Rated T)
In the year 2015, Marinette Dupain-Cheng said yes to Tikki, the kwami of Creation. Two days later, Adrien Agreste said yes to Plagg, the kwami of Destruction.For the first time in over a thousand years, the cat and the bug were starting fresh. (immortal AU)

Découvrir by @xiueryn (Rated M)
A decade apart and he still remembered her. Marinette contacts her childhood friend in hopes of rekindling their forgotten relationship despite him being a celebrity, only to assume him to be someone else entirely. AU.

Bare Necessities by @reyxa (Rated M)
Art School AU where Adrien is the nude model in Marinette’s human figure class. Major sin warning but it’s more awkward than sexy. Definitely not for little ears… or eyes I guess…

Serendipitous Fate by @skaylanphear (Rated M)
Adrien is excited to reveal his true identity, while Marinette is terrified. But Master Fu says they can’t afford to be distant any longer. Chat Noir and Ladybug are meant to work in tandem both in and out of uniform, their strength stemming from the bond created between them. Yet, teenagers are sometimes better at dancing blind than running with wide open eyes, even with the steps laid out before them.Steps in the path of an expanding world. Apart, they’ll flounder. But together, they might just stand a chance.

Tikki’s New Friend by @panda013 (Rated G)
The dog was easily the height of his chest, and the young woman walking it could have only come up to his shoulder. But she was just cheerfully walking along beside the dog, chatting and laughing happily with a redheaded young woman. The dog was a big black beast—he didn’t know the breed then, nor did he particularly care, but it whined pitifully when its equally dark-haired owner paused to read a street sign. She just giggled and reached out a hand to ruffle its fur, and the giant’s tail wagged happily.

heartstrings by @zenwisterias (Rated T)
one of marinette’s rare unlucky days turns into something treacherous. thanks to a certain cat, the real danger passes, but there are other things to be more afraid of. her heart, for example, might be one of them.

The Ladybugs and the Bees by @bullysquadess (Rated M)
This originally started as a fanfic about periods and just devolved into crack.

You Don’t Know Me by @ferisae (Rated T)
When Ladybug suffers a near-fatal accident and is presumed dead, it is up to Adrien - who has discovered Ladybug’s secret - to help her through her painstaking recovery and reacquaint her with herself. All this while trying to save Paris on his own without losing himself in the process.

Satisfaction Brought It Back by @siderealsandman (Rated E)
Most people rekindled friendships with people from high school over Facebook or Twitter. Most people met for coffee, shared pictures of their bratty children, and sent old friends Christmas letters once a year. Marinette was clearly not most people as she had somehow hooked up with her former high school crush on a bondage dating website and didn’t know it until he was standing in front of her with an identical look of bemused embarrassment plastered all over his pretty face.

A Werecat in London by @i-am-thornqueen (Rated M)
After an unfortunate encounter with an akuma while in London on a business trip, Chat Noir is forced to deal with the unexpected consequences. Can Ladybug help him return to his normal self, or will he be stuck for the rest of his life getting in touch with his wild side?

tangled ribbons by @demistories (Rated G)
Marinette is a small studio dancer who wins a scholarship to a summer long ballet intensive. Adrien is a famous ballet dancer who would rather be at home than at said intensive. The end of the summer will bring about a showcase that could make Marinette’s career, if she can ignore Chloé and focus on something other than Adrien.

The Space Between Us by @chassecroise (Rated T)
What’s a ladybug to do when her kitten becomes a cat?

Accident of the Evening by @thatwriterchickrachel (Rated T)
Adrien Agreste, rumoured royalty, just wants a normal life. But one night on the run he meets Marinette, a normal girl, with a normal life. Marinette can’t believe it. Her long-time celebrity crush had crashed into her life and was now hanging out with her and her friends in between his busy schedule.With the Annual Parisian Masquerade Ball approaching, and an announcement sure to change everything looming over them, the two young adults begin a friendship and a double life.

Emergence by @artisticflutter (Rated M)
They were only teenagers, but they are no more. Forced to awaken to new powers, both find themselves codependent on the other in order to survive and escape from their captors. They are Ladybug and Chat Noir - they are Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste. Part One of a possible series.

The Lights that Lead Us Home by @oceanspray5 (Rated G)
Based on @piku-chan’s Cinderella AU on Tumblr. Marinette remains at the Palace to train as a noble and Adrien takes on more responsibilities as King. The wedding is planned for the Prince and his Princess and despite any outside meddling forces, goes off without a hitch.

Le Chat Noir by ParadiseAvenger (Rated E)
Le Chat Noir was the most popular strip club in Paris. Marinette could explain how she wound up there the first time, but she couldn’t explain how she kept coming back.

The Wingman Visits by @niuniente (Rated M)
When Chat Noir finds out Ladybug’s real identity as Marinette, he also discovers her huge crush for Adrien. As a gentleman he is Chat Noir offers to be a wingman between Marinette and Adrien, trying to get them together.

Sealed away by @ashesandhoney (Rated T)
Five years ago, Ladybug left Paris and left Chat Noir to learn how to keep it together on his own.Marinette is back in Paris with an internship at the Agreste Fashion house trying to get the spring show up and running and as much as Adrien appreciates having a friend at work, he’s distracted by Ladybug’s return and more Akuma attacks than either of them have faced before.Something big is coming and nothing can stay sealed away forever.

Cut from the Same Cloth by @baneismydragon (Rated T)
When Gabriel notices that Adrien is collecting various supplies from his office, he assumes that his son has finally decided to show an interest in the family business. However when he tries to show his support by showing up at a school presentation, things quickly spiral out of control and everyone learns more than they bargained for

Désolé by @pozolegirl (Rated G)
‘The Cat’s out of the Bag’ as Adrien would say, and now Marinette and Adrien must work through their emotions during this new reveal of identities, all while Hawkmoth is hot on their trail and not about to let them slip away from him, taking matters into his own hands.

Sing the Song of Sailing Sirens by @princessofharte (Rated T)
Adrien Agreste is the Pirate Lord of the High Seas, chasing a British flagship until Le Chat Noir is blown off course into a green storm.

This is not a complete list of the best fics in the fandom. Many of these authors have written multiple fanfics for this fandom and they are all amazing. Indeed, many of the fics on AO3 with the most hits, the most kudos, and the most comments were other fics not mentioned here but completed by many of these authors. Every work of fanfiction is amazing. If you want to help encourage writers to write more awesome fanfiction, please leave a comment on their works. It can be as short as “This is great!” Seriously. We live off validation.

It’s not narcissism if I add in my own fic here, right?

Was there anything I missed? Leave it in the reblogs and spread the word so that others–including myself–can read it!