an amnesia fic idea for a setting where sid and geno aren't together (yet): sid loses his memories but somehow no one knows. he just goes to practice like normal because he found his schedule and he knows what day it is. he remembers hockey, of course. he can figure out who his teammates are by watching them interact and call out each other's nicknames. then geno comes directly up to sid and BEAMS at him and sid instantly decides that this wonderful guy MUST be his boyfriend. (lol he's not)
lmao thats wild but how about 18-yo Sidney mind-traveled (just pretend it’s a Stanley Cup magic thing) to his 30 year old body, and he’s so pleased that he has a team who loves him and also a boyfriend too!!! until Geno shows up with a woman he introduces as his girlfriend during their team outings and Sidney is just…..heartbroken.
“Oh,” he says, looking at Geno and the blonde up and down. “I, uh, I’m–”
“Sid, you okay?” Flower asks.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” Sidney says quickly, setting the drinks down and backing up. “I just, um, I just remembered something I had to do at home.”
“You not having dog, Sid,” Geno says.
“Well, maybe I do!” Sidney yells back, then lowers his voice when he realizes that his entire team is staring at him, and Geno looks taken aback. “I mean–I’m sorry. I’m going to go home. Sorry.”
Sidney calls Taylor first. No dice. Then his mother, who picks up on the second ring.
“You alright, honey?” her voice asks warmly. Sidney feels the tears start to well up.
“Mom,” he says. Then he just absolutely loses it.
“Sidney,” his mom says, but he can barely hear her voice over the receiver and his own blubbering.
“Mom, I want to go home,” he sobs. “Are you home? Can I come home?”
“Sidney, shh, shh,” his mom says. “It’s alright, baby, you’re alright. Shh.” She keeps making these soothing noises and lets Sidney finish crying.
(basically the following scene is just him explaining to his mom that he knows he’s 18, but somehow he time traveled to his 30 yo body, and let’s say they get his dad on the phone too and they believe him because this is like a hockey magic thing that happens when people get stressed, like getting deaged or something. Sidney can’t come home, but they do promise that he can call them again anytime until he’s back to normal, and that they love him very much.
Later, after Sidney has showered and is getting ready for bed, his doorbell rings. He really doesn’t want to open the door, but then his phone rings too. It’s Flower.)
“Took you long enough,” Flower begins, then takes in Sidney’s red-rimmed, puffy eyes. “Woah. You okay?”
“I’m okay,” Sidney sighs. “Just tired.”
“You left the bar so suddenly. Geno’s pissed. He’s been wanting to introduce his girlfriend to you for weeks.”
“Oh,” Sidney says, his voice small. “I’ll…I’ll apologize to him later. I’m sorry, Flower, this is a really bad time–”
(Flower eventually wrangles the truth out of him, and listens in shock as Sidney reveals that he’s not himself, that he’s time traveled.)
“I thought we were dating,” Sidney admits in shame, hating how dumb he sounds. “I just–he was so nice to me–I thought–after all these years, I’d finally…you know. Have someone. Be happy. But, um.” He looks up, bites his bottom lip, and tries to blink away tears. “I’m just. You know. The same.”
“Oh, Sidney,” Flower says, and wraps him in a hug. “Fuck.”
“I really liked him, Flower,” Sidney whispers. “I really, really thought I finally had it all. But that’s really asking for too much. I’m just being stupid. Sorry.”
“I’m so fucking sorry,” Flower replies.
(He eventually tells the team the truth, that he can’t remember anything past age 18, and the team doctors eventually say he’ll be back to normal soon.)
“Yeah, well, that’s the good news, at least,” Sidney says, looking at the ground and trying to ignore the eyes on him. “That, and me still being able to play.”
(He pulls Geno aside before they head out for practice, even though his legs are shaking.)
“Hey,” Sidney says. “Geno. I’m–I’m really sorry…the other day. I shouldn’t have been so rude.”
“It’s okay,” Geno says gruffly, not looking at Sid. “You not know.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“You should have telling me. I’m best friend, I’m help,” Geno says.
“I know, I just–” Sidney sneaks a look behind him. “Look. I’m really sorry. I already told Flower this, but I think I have to say this. I thought we were dating.”
Geno stops moving. “What?”
“I thought we were together. I’m–” He sighs. “I didn’t know what was going on. You were so nice to me. And no one’s ever that nice to me unless they want something, but you never did, so I just assumed–” He wrings his hand helplessly. “I freaked out. I’m over it now. But I’m really, really sorry about what happened.”
Geno opens his mouth, then closes it again. “So…you think, at bar, I’m cheat?”
“No!” Sidney shakes his head, but purses his lips. “Well. A little bit, in the beginning. But after a few seconds I figured that we weren’t together in the first place. So I was just mad at myself, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“You want date me?”
“I wish you’d stop rubbing it in,” Sidney grumbles. “I’m going to head out. We good?”
“No, we not good,” Geno says, pulling Sidney back. “What happen after? After you leave bar?”
“I…went home.” Geno is still staring at him, so Sidney admits, “I called my mom. Cried a bit. Went to sleep.” He shrugs. “I really don’t have a dog.”
“Sidney, I’m so sorry,” Geno says mournfully, which just breaks Sidney’s heart even more, because it means Geno’s confirming that there won’t ever be anything between them. Sidney wishes everyone could just stop apologizing.
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Sidney says.
Then Geno kisses him, out of the blue. Sidney gasps a bit and nearly bites off his own tongue, but Geno is insistent, slotting a leg between Sidney’s thighs and tipping him back a little bit.
“I’m sorry for make cry,” Geno says breathlessly, when he pulls back.
(anyways it turns out that Geno is also sorry that he was too chicken to ask sidney out sooner, and the girl was just his friend visiting from home, and geno just brought her to make sid jealous etc etc. sidney is back to normal soon and they date and everything is roses the end)
burro’s tail: what was the last dream you had?
agave: what’s your favorite time of the day?
crown of thorns: are you more of a cozy rainy day or a warm sunny day?
sempervivum: what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?
jade plant: what is a bird you associate yourself with?
aloe: what is your favorite season and why?
pussy ears: how do you take your coffee?
ponytail palm: what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?
perle von nurnberg: what makes your heart flutter?
moonstones: do you have a significant other?
agavoides: what is your first plant you ever owned and does it have a name?
cupid: what are five aspects you like about yourself?
flapjack what are five flaws you have?
string of pearls: do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?
lavender stones: what do you look for in your significant other?
black prince: are there any pets you would like to have?
melaco: how would you describe a perfect date?
wooly rose: what are some names that you like?
haworthia: are a you more of a fruit popsicle kind of person or ice cream popsicle king of person?
lithops: how do you spend free time by yourself?
aeonium: what is your favorite tea and how do you take it? baby toes: what was the last book you read?
topsy turvy: what is the most comfortable sleeping position?
calico kitten: what is something valuable that you learned in your life?
cactus: how would you describe the last photo you’ve taken?
irish mint: do you like to cook or bake more?
blue elf: do you have a favorite scent?
jelly bean: do you prefer walking, driving, or biking?
california sunset: what accessory do you always have on you, no matter what?
little jewel: are you an art museum or a science museum kind of person?
painted lady: do you have cute nicknames?
debbie: how would you describe your handwriting?
moonglow: how do you relieve stress?
key lime: do you have a quirky catch phrase?
lola: do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?
summary: you’re invited round Binnie’s house for no reason what so- wait there’s a reason? oh ok
a/n -aaaaaa second time i’m writing something proper for astro, hope this goes well! thank you to the anon who sent the request in!!
also slight make out-mature content?? idk y’all wanted this anyways sooooo
So there you were. Outside Bin’s house. You two had been friends ever since you started high school together, and it was a rocky road to get where you were today. You two constantly fought each other in middle school for some unknown reason, and you didn’t understand each other fully until you mentioned to Minhyuk that you actually liked being Bin’s friend. And in high school, you two were inseparable. You two would walk with each other to class and back, and on the way to school and back home too. It was like the start up of a long lasting friendship. Or maybe something else….wait why something else? Well, it started when Dongmin told you that when Bin would stare off into space, he would look straight at you, every time. Kind of made you suspicious of what he thinks. And, when it’s just you two, either when you’re out or just at your house…he’s very…huggy. As in he’ll hug you for hours on end and not let you go. At all. One time, he had to leave, but he still had you in his arms. It wasn’t until he got outside when he noticed that you were still in his arms.
“Hm…..I wonder why he…just invited me out of the blue…?”
Back to the present, and you just waited for him to open the door. And–oh, there he was. The door opened, and it was Bin. He was just wearing a jumper and tracksuit bottoms…but boy…did he look good. You didn’t say he did, but you just kept it to yourself. He pulled you in for a large hug, keeping you in his arms for a prolonged amount of time. One hand kept you close, while the other was stroking your hair gently.
“Y/n~! You actually came!”
“Yeah…wait…did you think I was not coming?”
“I-It’s not that…I thought you wouldn’t be able to find my house.”
“Dongmin helped on the way, so don’t worry.”
A small audible sigh came out of his mouth, smiling back down to you. You gave him a smile back, which made his face light up with a small blush covering his cheeks. His house….was really nothing special. It looked a lot like yours, but with different ornaments and other things. Well the layout was similar. Not everything was the same, but the layout was. He did have a bigger sofa though. That was unfair in a couple ways. Leading you inside, you slipped your jacket off, placing it with your little drawstring bag that you placed on a chair. Walking over to the sofa, you sat down, and found it to be really comfortable. He joined you, only to sit next to you, placing his arm around you at the same time. You were still a little confused as to why you were round his house again, but you were slightly more concerned about why he was so….cling–loving towards you. At this moment, he kind of treated you like…a girlfriend. As nice as that sounded, you realised that he may have someone else he liked, or he may just be doing to show that he likes you as a brotherly figure.
“So…why did you invite me round again?”
“My parents are out of the city…and I was bored. You were the first person I wanted to hang out with today too.”
You nod in agree– oh. Wait…was there a motive behind this? Maybe you’re thinking into this too much, or maybe there was something going on that you didn’t know. Moon Bin, what are you thinking about? You also noticed something. The way he dressed. This may not be much…but he would just wear jeans and a t-shirt when you two were round his, nothing like what he was wearing. Maybe because he didn’t have to step out of the house, he may have just been comfortable in the getup he had on already. He also…seemed a little bit tired, so maybe thats why.
“This show is so boring…there’s nothing good on…”
“It’s half 1 in the afternoon, that’s why.”
“You’re right…did anyone record that movie…?”
He asked himself, picking up the remote, flicking through the pages of the tv guide. Ah, so this was the motive. Just to watch a movie. Nothing too– wait a darn moment. Your brain went into ‘I’m-thinking-about-this-too-much-there’s-nothing-going-on-between-you-two-y/n-you-need-to-stop-dreaming-about-what-could-happen’ mode, and you just went into lockdown after that. You kind of thought about what could happen for a while and started to stare off into space, not hearing what Bin was asking you.
“Y/n, earth to Y/n are you there?”
For a while you didn’t respond and your cheeks were glowing red. Wait….what were you thinking of? You were thinking of that one thing that couldn’t or wouldn’t happen in a billion years. You though that this might be a motive to…kiss you or something. But nah, as you said, he might be thinking of someone else and see you as a little sister or something. You then feel something lightly jabbing you side–oh no. Tickle fights. After the rounds of middle school fights and stuff, the only fights that mattered were tickle fights. You started to come back down to earth, a couple small giggles coming out of your mouth. Fuck, it was starting. You retaliated and tried to tickle him back, but he shifted so you couldn’t reach.
“Oh, so you want to really start this?”
“What do you mean start? It’s finished and I’ve already won!”
“Who says you have? Your weak spot is uncovered!”
Both of you were pretty ticklish on the sides, so seeing his jumper lifted up a little to reveal a belly button and bare skin was enough to make you blush. But this wasn’t the time to blush. You had a fight to win, and you were going to win. You launched at him, aiming for his sides. You successfully got your hand to jab his sides multiple times, before you were flipped over. Wait…where was this going to lead? Maybe…this was the true motive? You didn’t think about that either at first, but it kind of just took over your thoughts. You became distracted– bad move.
“I got you now!”
A pillow snapped you out of your thoughts, making you fall onto your back on the sofa. And who should follow but Bin. He had his hands repeatedly jabbing your sides, and you kept on laughing, eyes closed while you were enduring the jabs. But after a while, you could only hear your voice. He had stopped. You opened your eyes…to find him right above you. Your mind kept on repeating the words ‘fuck’, ‘what’ and ‘this was the motive I knew it’. He then proceeded to slip his hand into yours, gazing at your cheeks and eyes with a sort of….loving look. You two stayed like that for about a minute…and you didn’t know why you didn’t say ‘hey…..get off me will ya’ the second your eyes met, but it…kind of felt nice. Your heart started to beat a lot faster than before.
“Uh…Y/n..are you comfortable–?”
“Yeah I’m fine…I’m just wondering why you’re on top of me…”
“One thing led to another…I didn’t plan this..”
“Yeah…of course…if you’re going to do what I think you’re going to do…I won’t stop you…”
You felt the blush on your cheeks glow brighter, feeling his fingers wrap and intertwine with your other hand. You knew something was up the second you two hit high school, and this was somehow the climax of this relationship. You were certain of what sort of relationship you two had before this somehow enticing and romantic moment. But now you were sure that Bin wanted to take it to the next step. Bin was…very much a spontaneous, ‘in the moment’ sort of dude. And you knew that because of maybe a certain atmosphere…and the fact that his parents weren’t home…things could be….just out there…and experimental. You were hoping that this moment wasn’t fuelled by that fact. Then, the moment you had been waiting for. He moved up slightly, aligning his eyes and lips with yours, slowly moving in towards yours. Those non-existent butterflies started up a race to your heart, with each heartbeat becoming louder and louder, faster and faster. With a slight pause, the climax hit. Your lips softly collided with his, a flower called Bin blooming in your heart. You somehow knew this moment would be near, but not this near. Cheeks burning up to your ears, you could feel a smile poking through the kiss. A slow departure from your lips, you opened your eyes to see Bin just smiling like a kid. A sneaky smirk pulled on your lips, making you now smile too. You had to admit, a smile, out of any facial expression fit him the most. A laugh slipped out from his mouth, looking into your eyes again. Somehow you liked this better than just finding something to watch or even just sitting with each other.
“Y-You like this?”
“Yes, I do..”
You said, before bringing your hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks and giving him another peck on the lips. This time round you could actually feel his lips instead of it being a blur. They were soft like pillows, and you could get subtle tastes and hints of a sort of honey flavour. Sweet lips from a sweet boy. This time round though, the kiss went on for longer than expected. You moved your hands down to his shoulders, and his hands moved down to your hips, holding them gently. Out of the blue, you felt his tongue lick your bottom lip ever so slightly, knowing that this was about to get deep. 0-100 real quick. The kiss became deeper and deeper, as you slowly started to open your mouth to keep up with him. It was the first time that you were doing something like this, and it was exciting. You heartbeat was at the fastest it could go without your heart exploding, or you accidentally getting a heart attack. But by the way this was going, that heart attack was long gone. You two had been going at it for a good 10 minutes now, when you had to break it to properly breathe. And at that time, the doorbell rang. You guessed that was the end of your…special moment together, time to go to back being friends.
“Ah, so this is why you asked me over…?”
“I knew it!”
“You did? How?”
“I just know…also before I got here Dongmin kind of hinted it to me.”
“I shouldn’t have told him.”
“Told him what? You like me or..– you like me?”
“Ok yeah…I like you.”
“Since we started to become friends.”
“That’s ages…same here, actually.”
You gave him one last kiss before he got up to answer the door. It was nobody special, just a mailman. And it wasn’t even a letter. It was an advert for a pizza place. He sighed before lying back down, but instead of lying on top of you like before, he was just lying by your side, holding you closer than before. His head was rested by your neck, peppering your neck with little kisses.
“We should do this more often…it’s nice..”
“What…as like a friends with benefits thing?”
“No, like a couple…”
And that day meant that there was something more to your relationship, that could really get you and Bin to be closer than before. That ‘something more’…was actually love.
“Hamilton did not form friendships easily and never again revealed his interior life to another man as he had to Laurens. […] After the death of John Laurens, Hamilton shut off some compartment of his emotions and never reopened it.”
What I want to say and what I can say are two opposite things, constantly at war with each other inside of me.
What I want to say are words that violently eat at my heart, forcing me to scratch at my skin nervously- pleading for relief.
What I can say are words that are safe. That won’t cause me more trouble. That won’t cause me more bodily and emotional harm. Basic. Flat. Words of the numb, with hidden anguish behind them.
What I want to say…
Is that I need you.
You saved me.
You have never let me down.
I love you.
All of this is killing me.
You have taken care of me. Licked my wounds and called me beautiful.
I am indebted to you.
Please don’t give up on me.
Please know that I am doing all of this..because of you.
I know I’m not worth it.
I will never forgive myself for any of it.
I will love you for the rest of my life.
I need help breaking out of these chains that are cutting into me.
What I can say…
Is that I’ll be ok.
You helped saved me.
I need to save myself.
You have never let me down.
You are a wonderful… friend.
I won’t die.
I’ll be fine.
I will always be here for you.
Please be patient with me.
Please just support me.
Please don’t get fed up.
Please…for just a little time.
I just need some time.
I need to heal.
I need to do this for ME. Not for us.
I need to respect what I’m told.
Even if it’s not what I want.
The memories were great.
Please stay my friend.
Please don’t tell anyone how much this is hurting
Please don’t let anyone know I’m suffering with this.
I’ll be fine.
Whether you stand with Cult Ending being Canon or Non-Canon…
Can we just agree that Lie to Me by Depeche Mode is literally the way everyone felt after Joseph’s route? Like, even without the Cult Ending, we’re subjected to either heartbreak or enabling an affair.
Lyrics under the cut for anyone who doesn’t want to listen to the song fully and just wanna see what I mean when I say “This is it. This is Joseph’s route.”