it's not like i'm an english teacher

So my english teacher just gave us a speech yesterday on how “Plastic is the one to blame on homosexuality because is scientifically proven that it has a chemical that makes people more feminine.” 

And like yeah it’s stupid nonsense (and p dang homophobic mixing femininity with homosexuality) and its obviously something fake he believed bc he believes everything he listen on fucking conspiracy white gringos videos on youtube.

But you know what? I am buying it, plastic is gay now, I’m sorry straighties

anonymous asked:

What if Santi really did kill himself with Molly and he's just a ghost wandering around being tormented forever because he's stuck in purgatory

ok so…thematically that’s pretty much true lmao. i’m just gonna throw any “santi is actually dead/in a coma” theories out the window because he is in fact very much alive– but in what way? 🤔

(santi’s present day story up until this point has pretty much just been him moving through the different circles of hell as he relives his past and it becomes increasingly more and more nightmarish…he’s been stuck there for a while, but when will he finally escape? 🤔🤔 )

Some German names are weird like the name Hermann which sounds like you say Mister Man when it’s translated into English and if you’re English it literally looks like someone misspelled ‘Her Man’ but it gets even weirder because it’s a really common name and it can be used as a first and a sure name that means if your teachers last name is Hermann you have to call him Mister Mister Man


trade mistakes // panic! at the disco

The Houses as Teachers I've Had
  • I'm sorry that this is the most steriotypical thing you'll ever read.
  • Ravenclaw: 1. My english lit professor, who always got really excited and would go off on tangents for discussions, leading us all to an existential crisis at least once a week. Likes to pretend he's scary and aggressive when really he's a small walnut who really likes books. Randomly cut me off in a conversation because he decided to teach me how to 'punch men'. Likes to write books where he is always a main character because 'it's easier than actually going outside myself and trying these things out'. Literally trips over everything. 2. Another professor who was literally the king of oversharing and then would say things that were hysterical but would offend people who weren't understanding their irony. When people's logic didn't make sense, he'd keep following it until he twisted it to a humorous outcome. Also gave us all existential crises. Lectured about the correct way to live your life and when I asked what it was he went "hell if I know, I'm only making it up as I go along and hoping that when I die, God doesn't saute me".
  • Slytherin: 1. My high school English teacher. Loved me, hated everyone else, failed people who were shitty in general, favoritism like no other, liked to make people debate things out but didn't have a personal point to prove. Let things slide if she liked you, very sarcastic. If you said something stupid, she would threaten to shove her stiletto heel in your eye socket. Said she only cried once in her life, and it was when she was in college and her Shakespearean Verse teacher had a thick Jamaican accent, and she never knew what was happening. 2. My Spanish teacher from Mexico who was literally so chill all the time, and only disliked like 2 people who were always antagonizing him (he failed them and passed everyone else). Would say and do everything really dramatically and said ZORRO at least once per class. Complained about the price of bananas. Gave up in the last month and just made us watch Jimmy Fallon videos every day because 'Jimmy Fallon is the man'.
  • Gryffindor: 1. Skateboarded into my freshman comp. course every day, forgot to wear pants under dresses that were see-through, would make us read vague philosophical essays that she then used to advance her own personal agendas. Rarely ever taught, mostly just went on tumblr while everyone looked around frantically. Tried to convince us to raise our children genderless by giving them a name like 'turnip' and never telling anyone their sex. 2. History-enthused teacher who used modern analogies to explain american history. Was the most petty man ever, it was perfect. When 'sporty' guys in the class would refuse to participate, he would pull out a small basketball and his wastebasket, and every time they got a question correct on the verbal review, he would let them shoot. Sweet guy in general, would walk people to the nurse, authoritative and honestly ugh I love him he is my son.
  • Hufflepuff: 1. Math teacher who ever Friday brought in some kind of baked good or candy, had little songs she'd dance around the classroom singing, chubby and sweet little woman, really liked Bon Jovi. 2. An advisor I met with once only because I wanted to drop a class that I was failing who sat me down for four hours. She started crying about 6 times, read me a whole bunch of motivational quotes, kept reading excerpts of the bible, and randomly having us pray together

real talk about alicia clark in 3x05 for a second and how this arc of hers is actually a brilliant piece of storytelling like… 

if ftwd was a classic literature novel, your 11th grade english lit teacher would be lecturing on how alicia clark’s self-destructive spiral is an allegory for the millennial let down and apathy of the 21st century.

alicia clark grew up as an upper middle class millennial, in a nice suburb home, with a nice, seemingly well-rounded nuclear family. she and nick probably played little league soccer and have a box in the attic of old metallic plastic trophies.

she tuned out her world in favor of her ipod, lost herself in her studies because she was college would be the key to getting whatever she wanted out of life.

and now? all that pretty, painted ‘you can be whatever you want when you grow up! you can change the world!’ bullshit has been ripped away from her worldview and she sees the truth.

alicia clark could be a normal twenty-something going through her quarter crisis. useless college degree that put her tens of thousands of dollars in debt, dreams of saving the whales and ending world hunger crushed for the monotony of filing papers and learning microsoft excel.

english teacher’s lecture? all those zombies are corporate workers, dragging ass all day to get no where. lost in capitalism, in the draw of their cell phones. no recognition of the world around them, just consume, consume, consume…

alicia clark’s existential crisis is great television because it’s fucking relatable. all the pleasure has been sucked out her life in favor of survival. while she runs from zombies, we’ve got master’s-educated people working for minimum wage (or less). we’ve got brilliant young men and women who are always one mistake away from living on the streets or going without food this month. (or one congressman away from losing our health coverage for vital, lifesaving medications.)

it feels like it’ll never end. the struggle just brings more struggle. there’s little hope.

she tries drugs and sex and activities like cliff diving to feel something, to enjoy a moment in her miserable fucking existence. we… also do drugs and have sex and enjoy high-adrenaline activities lol, but additionally have the luxury of shit like enjoying our avocado toast and sending snapchat videos with silly dog filters and playing pokemon go for 8 hours a day, because if you can’t fucking get anywhere with the skills and degree that you worked on your whole life, at least you can smile for a moment when you finally evolve your bulbasaur.

idk, alicia clark’s existential crisis is brilliant and i’m loving it. rock on, my broken lil bean.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm so glad you're doing this blog : it's amazing! And I d like to thank you ! Today I have a request : I can't find a coming back or coming home tag ? I recently read a sweet home Alabama AU and it was really great . Could you help me with this ? I'm not a master on AO3 ... thanks again and have a good day xxx! Igrin

well with the leaving beacon hills tags | stiles | derek | the majority of the time, they do come back home so thats the tag you’d go through

When the Moon rises by lizc (11/? | 7,325 | R)

Stiles is a lonely highschool boy and Derek is an attractive English teacher with an appreciation of moles and whiskey eyes. When Stiles leaves abruptly during freshman year, Derek can’t help but wonder where the beautiful boy went. Three years later, a familiar face arrives back in Beacon Hills.


AU where Stiles is a lonely high schooler and leaves, comes back, and shocks everyone, including his then and now English teacher Derek Hale.

Where’s Stiles? by Bashfyl (1/1 | 4,212 | PG13)

Six years after leaving Derek returns to Beacon Hills to get his man. What he finds is not at all what he expects.

The Boy Who Ran With Wolves, Only To Be left Behind by Treybias (10/? | 9,864 | NC17)

This is the story of Stiles. Stiles who had put everything he had into the pack. Who had fought, bled, cried, and screamed for the pack. Stiles who when cast out of the pack, became hardened and cold. Stiles who left only to return far more powerful than anyone could believe.

Therapy for a Mending Heart by just_desserts (1/13 | 2,983 | NC17)

An urgent call and a message from his dad telling him to come home to Beacon Hills from USC causes Stiles to not hesitate packing his things, panic forming his every move as he makes his way back to his hometown. When he gets there, memories of his mother and her passing plague him and it doesn’t help when he feels like he has nothing to hold onto as reality parallels the past.
Maybe talking with strangers about his problems in group therapy wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Scott tells him. Especially when one of those strangers is a gorgeous, green-eyed man named Derek.

AU where there are no werewolves or any Supernatural, Stiles is in a dark place after his father passes away, and Derek is right there with him as the anniversary of the house fire taunts him.

anonymous asked:

thanks to you I am more interested in my english classes lmao my teacher its like 'hey! where that entusiasm came from? I'm very glad' and all I can do is smile and say 'well, there is a girl who write pretty good stories and I want to learn as much as I can so I can read them all' so yes, thank you kaz

omg, that’s amazing! 

1trufangirl  asked:

I'm taking a creative writing class, but I'm not actually learning anything. To the point where I am learning more from your eight minute videos once a week than I am in hour and a half lessons from this teacher every other day. It feels like a complete waste of my time (he literally taught a unit about jumbo jets. We watched a 45 minute documentary about jumbo jets... WTF??) and it's too late in the semester to change classes. Any ideas on what I can do?

Same thing happened to me my freshman year of college, except it was a different kind of writing/english class (can’t remember, it was a decade ago). All he did was complain about his ex-wife every fucking class. I ended up withdrawing with a W. Obviously it’s not recommended to do that a lot, but if it’s still an option, there’s that. If not, I think you just kinda gotta deal with his lame ass. In the future, I’d suggest picking your classes via - if it’s still around. Again, I graduated a while ago.

anonymous asked:

you're not a good writer

I respect your opinion but… Can you please give me a reason or tips? This alone isn’t helping me improve, and whilst you are by no means obligated to help a gal out, it would mean a lot to me! Thanks love :)

Originally posted by jinssmile

this comment came out of left field and hit me like

History of Québec:

have you ever considered neil as a teacher? I know he was destined to be an actor, but imagine this: neil as an english teacher and he is so enthusiastic about literature? just like keating, he performs it in class and notices how the student’s eyes light up? these are neil’s favourite days and he can’t wait to come home to todd and tell him all about it

The Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagment Sentence Meme
  • "You have to write."
  • "I'm very proud of you."
  • "My mother surprised me by marrying my high school teacher."
  • "We're just friends now."
  • "It's the princess from America!"
  • "There was no course in Queen or How to Run a Country 101."
  • "Will I ever be ready?"
  • "I'm going to live in a beautiful palace like in a fairy tale and eventually sit on the throne and rule."
  • "Welcome home, Princess."
  • "The one downer in my fairy tale is I've never been in love."
  • "Maybe I'll meet my Prince Charming tonight."
  • "The eagle is flying."
  • "A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."
  • "I hope they have string cheese."
  • "And you obviously don't speak English."
  • "Have you met the princess yet?"
  • "Is this an American custom?"
  • "I'll survive, Your Highness."
  • "Are you sure you don't want to exchange licenses and proof of insurance?"
  • "The swelling should help them fit better."
  • "Looks like they're trying to land a plane!"
  • "Woodland animals are a lovely thing to be compared to."
  • "I'm sorry I stepped on your foot."
  • "You can step on my foot anytime."
  • "If this were my party, we'd be kissing by now."
  • "No harm, no foul, no bruise."
  • "Please don't curtsy like that."
  • "How do you turn off the curtsies?"
  • "Can I explore a little bit?"
  • "Shut up!"
  • "We've never enforced that law!"
  • "She deserves the same right as any man!"
  • "How do they expect me to find love in thirty days?!"
  • "An arranged marriage is my only choice."
  • "I dream of love, not fondness."
  • "You don't have to be queen/king."
  • "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
  • "I want to make a difference as a ruler."
  • "I'm doing a background check on____."
  • "I would gladly take a bullet for you."
  • "I offered to have them hung by their toes in our courtyard."
  • "Have you met him?"
  • "We will present ourselves with grace and poise."
  • "They always do that."
  • "I will personally get some ice for your foot."
  • "We danced and I flirted."
  • "I feel so stupid right now."
  • "This is your very own suite."
  • "This is so cool!"
  • "I have my own mall!"
  • "I just love to look at him/her."
  • "Right on!"
  • "Does this popcorn taste like pears?"
  • "You ever take those shades off?"
  • "Shall we have some tea?"
  • "Let them bond."
  • "Every marriage in my family for the past one hundred years has been arranged."
  • "Your task is to romance her/him."
  • "I was just admiring my ring."
  • "You know, he/she is so romantic!"
  • "I'm not here."
  • "It was more than a minute."
  • "Well aren't you just...crafty."
  • "Lie dance?"
  • "The point is that I'm onto you!"
  • "He/she was in a closet with him/her?"
  • "The wedding invitations have been sent out."
  • "I would kneel if it weren't for my knee replacement."
  • "We are learning the art of the fan."
  • "Are you sassing your grandma?!"
  • "A princess never chases a chicken."
  • "I can't ride sidesaddle."
  • "It's a wooden leg."
  • "That is impressively sneaky!"
  • "I don't like you."
  • "You shouldn't hide, it only makes them gossip more."
  • "What do you want?"
  • "I don't need this right now!"
  • "You never think about anyone but yourself."
  • "Can you let me be miserable and not make me feel worse about myself?"
  • "____ doesn't have boyfriends/girlfriends, they have dates."
  • "It's a shame you're not attracted to them."
  • "I didn't hear you mention love."
  • "You're so jealous."
  • "You can't just go around kissing people, particularly not engaged people!"
  • "You want to kiss again?"
  • "What's so confusing about a kiss?"
  • "Maybe I just like kissing you."
  • "Why don't you go under water and I'll count to a million?"
  • "Why do you talk like that?"
  • "Most of them are orphans, we take care of as many as possible."
  • "Would you like to be a prince/princess today?"
  • "They're letting the children join them, how charming."
  • "It's time for mattress surfing!"
  • "Darling, when they tell your story, they'll call your heart of gold your crowing glory."
  • "You've fallen in love with her/him."
  • "But you care for them."
  • "Are you sure I didn't burn you?"
  • "We can have tasty finger sandwiches together!"
  • "Could I see you one more time before I go?"
  • "I'll find a way."
  • "Have you been thinking about us?"
  • "You were the someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."
  • "They're throwing pebbles!"
  • "And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy."
  • "This really is more romantic in the books."
  • "Tell me a secret."
  • "No one knows what's in your heart."
  • "I love I Love Lucy reruns."
  • "That's a fact, not a secret."
  • "The secret is...I still want to."
  • "We stayed out all night."
  • "Have a nice life!"
  • "I promise you nothing happened."
  • "I'm getting married today."
  • "Now, this is what I call a closet."
  • "Being married is about being yourself, with someone else."
  • "I look like a moose."
  • "He/she kind of does look like a poodle."
  • "Come and sweep him/her off their feet."
  • "I should have known!"
  • "Doesn't matter, I'll run."
  • "How am I supposed to herd sheep with a bike?"
  • "I'm a girl who loves black and is wearing pink."
  • "The maids know everything."
  • "Is this part of the plan?"
  • "I'm going to need a minute or two."
  • "Out of my way!"
  • "I can't do this!"
  • "Don't make the same mistakes I did."
  • "You can go in that church and get married or you can walk away."
  • "I won't be getting married today."
  • "Would you force them to do what you're trying to make me do?"
  • "I refuse to be king/queen."
  • "Just think how lovely he/she will look on our postage stamp."
  • "Stare them down."
  • "I like change."
  • "Just because I didn't get my fairy tale ending, doesn't mean you shouldn't."
  • "Put me down!"
  • "I'm in love with the king/queen-to-be and I'm inquiring if he/she loves me too."
  • "Do you have a chicken for my table?"
  • "I think I can hear you without a phone."
  • "I solemnly promise so to do."
the signs as things my English teacher has said
  • Taurus: I look like one of the characters on The Walking Dead I'm sorry
  • Gemini: *performs voodoo ritual in class*
  • Cancer: it's okay I can swear you are all grown up now
  • Leo: who called you an asshole???
  • Virgo: she bitch-slapped him right across the face like???
  • Libra: your ass was on that chair so when you get up, you push it back into the desk
  • Scorpio: I smoked only 8 cigarettes today instead of my usual 15 :-)
  • Sagittarius: *remembers something* SHIT *runs out of the class*
  • Capricorn: that's BULLSHIT
  • Aquarius: you need to figure out why you're so rude it's becoming a problem
  • Pisces: I don't like talking to grown ups they're too serious (she's 35)

Rhythmic Gymnasts (currently competing) || Pros and Cons [requested by anonymous]

Some of the points below are generally known and obvious advantages and disadvantages of these gymnasts, but some represent only my personal opinion. I donโ€™t claim to be 100 % right about it. If youโ€™re new, I recommend you to watch their routines yourself and make conclusions on your own. Obviously, everyone has different preferences. And they donโ€™t always fit the judgesโ€™ criteria of a perfect gymnast. Which is okay. Sad. But okay. And common.

Iโ€™ll start with gymnasts from Ukraine, as I think I have more knowledge about them and, obviously, I pay more attention to them than to gymnasts from other countries. Iโ€™ll try to analyze others too, but I canโ€™t promise you to make the post soon.

Team Ukraine

Keep reading

The signs as things I've heard at my school
  • aries: "Wait Valentine's Day is on the 14th?! since when?"
  • taurus: "my butthole hurts so bad I had nachos at lunch and I think I blew up the toilet in the bathroom"
  • gemini: "Even if I do fail this test I'll just become a high paying prostitute"
  • cancer: "I stayed up all night watching x files and now I'm convinced that everyone is an alien I'm up to you"
  • leo: "I'm sorry I can't hear you over my level 31 dragon"
  • virgo: "you seem like the kind of person who jacks off to anime porn"
  • libra: "All you guys make me want to throw up on a baby" ~ my English teacher
  • scorpio: "I thank god everyday for not making me look like you" ~my geometry teacher
  • capricorn: "Sorry to disturb you but what the fuck are we doing in this class?"
  • aquarius: "maybe if I fall down the stairs I'll break my legs and sue the school"
  • pisces: "who let these fucking freshmen in the school it's like I'm surrounded by gremlins"

anonymous asked:

I feel like every time I tell people I'm gonna get an education to become a teacher people get this smug face and I feel like everyone think I should be doing something better and I keep thinking about the if u can u do if u can't u teach phrase and I think I want to do it but I'm so insecure and I feel like it's not a good enough thing to be...

teaching is so incredibly important. i’m in a fine arts degree and that could take me a few places but i would be so happy to teach art, or english. i think that’s a dope aspiration and people have to stop seeing teaching as something that’s done when you couldn’t quite make it any bigger because. it’s So. important. and wonderful. if you have a gift for helping young adults understand something greater, why not utilise it?? that’s not a shortcut, that’s not lazy, thats a near selfless act and frankly there needs to be more of it. fuckin go get em.

anonymous asked:

my English teacher was like "i'll play music for you to concentrate, but it's going to be classical so don't complain!". So of course I'm hyped, she opens Pandora, and bam. Canon in D. Viva la Vida by Coldplay on shitty violins. Moonlight Sonata. And 10 more minutes of pop songs played on a poorly tuned cello.. I wanted to shoot myself :(

jesus herbert christ no