hi! im an intp with a huge crush on an entp, but im struggling a lot with it. we have amazing debates and a lot of fun when we're one-to-one, but i completely blank sometimes around her. it's tough because i have so many IDEAS i want to share and so much to say but i can never find the right words, and with her im scared that im saying the wrong thing. she's a good friend of mine and i dont want to hurt her or come off as creepy, but its killing me that my mind blanks when im with her.
That’s tough for most people. You’re going blank probably because there’s a lot happening to you emotionally under the surface and you’re not able to process all of that in real-time as things are happening, maybe due to inferior Fe and lack of emotional awareness.
The more you care about what she thinks of you, the more anxious you will be. Perhaps it would help if you are able to define clearer parameters for your behavior around her until you’re ready to make a bolder move, for example, you can make it your goal to treat her as only a friend and try to be relaxed and have normal conversations, which will help keep your emotions in check as you build more closeness by focusing on the ideas only. Or you can work on trying to be more aware of your underlying anxieties and find a reliable strategy for handling them when you’re with her. Or you can just be honest with her and see what happens because then at least you’re moving forward in some way instead of feeling stuck where you are now. There’s no rulebook for these situations, you have to feel your way through it slowly and listen to your instincts. Groping your way through the dark is uncomfortable but it is good training nonetheless, so try to keep a positive attitude. Life can be very absurd and unpredictable at times and going with it is more fun than resisting it.