it's never too early for this

All Dad Tips

#1 - Don’t forget to floss every day.

#2 - It’s never too early to invest in a personal IRA. 

#3 - Start building credit as soon as possible.

#4 - Stand up for yourself - don’t let anyone disrespect you. 

#5 - Everyone needs to know how to use power tools. 

#6 - Don’t trust anyone who likes their meat well done. 

#7 - LaserDisc is clearly the superior video format. 

#8 - Drink a full glass of water in the morning to help wake up. 

#9 - Don’t use metal utensils on nonstick frying pans.

#10 - If you’re parking uphill, be sure to turn your tires towards the street. 

#11 - It’s rude to ask people about their mysterious hand tattoos.

#12 - Moving pictures is hands down the best Rush album.

#13 - Buy quality, not quantity.

#14 - Shave with the grain.

#15 - You always have time for a beer with your buds.

#16 - Always use a coat of wax after a wash.

#17 - Nothing can beat reading in print.

#18 - Always carry a pocket knife.

#19 - Use your hips when throwing. 

#20 - Keep your word.

#21 - Eat a lot of broccoli.

#22 - Drinking too much water can cause water intoxication.

#23 - Take care of your health while you’re still young.

#24 - Always help a friend in need.

#25 - Drink plenty of water.

#26 - Exercise regularly and you’ll stay healthy! 

#27 - Don’t eat too close to your bedtime.

#28 - Always check the card reader at ATMs before you swipe. 

#29 - Medicine is not always the best medicine. 

#30 - Always bring a war chest. 

#31 - You’re young, you have your health, now is the time to take risks. 

#32 - You can’t beat the whammy bar. 

#33 - The solo from Kid Charlemagne is the greatest guitar solo ever recorded. 

#34 - Peter Weller actually has a PHD in history.

#35 - It’s called masking tape for a reason.

#36 - Trust no one. 

#37 - If you press the ignition too long you’ll just flood the engine. 

#38 - The extended cut is the only cut worth watching. 

#39 - They really stepped up the production value in Episode V. 

#40 - Managing debt is just part of being an adult. 

#41 - Run through the finish line. 

#42 - What you do, when you don’t have to, will determine where you’ll be when you can’t help it. 

#43 - When lifting weights, use proper form and a full range of motion. 

#44 - Gas is cheaper in the suburbs. 

#45 - Do what you love and the money will come. 

#46 - Do it once, do it right. 

#47 - Don’t skip the corners. 

#48 - Eat plenty of carbs the night before a big game.

#49 - If the police are driving behind you, don’t give them probable cause to pull you over.

#50 - Try to drive in a way where you never have to use your brakes.

#51 - You can save bookmarks directly to your desktop.

#52 - A bird in the hand is better than a bird in the eye. 

#53 - Pet every dog.

#54 - Have you ever read Rich Dad Poor Dad? 

#55 - Liquor before beef, you’re in the clear.

#56 - Go ask your mother.

#57 - If life gives you lemons, parsley, onions, and eggs… make a really nice omelet.

#58 - Practice makes permanent.

#59 - First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairiest chest.

#60 - Never give up, never remember.

#61 - That quirky lab assistant from NCIS just reminds me of you.

#62 - Whistle while you work.

#63 - Please remember to call us once in a while.

#64 - Get whatever job you want, just make sure it has health insurance.

#65 - Grow your own vegetables. It’s cheaper, I think.

#66 - It’s okay if you don’t come in first, just make sure you have health insurance.

#67 - Try to exercise regularly.

#68 - Sleep is important! Make sure you’re getting enough.

#69 - It’s okay to cry if you’re feeling sad.

#70 - Make sure to sweep under your tent so you don’t sleep on rocks.

#71 - Good tire pressure is essential to optimal mileage.

#72 - The only acceptable time and place for decaf coffee is never and in the trash.

#73 - When changing a tire, make sure to tighten the bolts in a starfish pattern.

#74 - Anyone who tells you that a drink isn’t manly has never known heartache.

#75 - Call someone if you’re thinking about them. They probably want to hear from you.

#76 - If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

#77 - Don’t smoke.

#78 - Try not to make assumptions about people.

#79 - Don’t trust gas station egg sandwiches.

#80 - Please don’t pirate games.

#81 - It’s better to be early than late.

#82 - Eat a balance meal every day that includes vegetable, fruit, and protein.

#83 - Minimize eating fried foods, candy, and sweets.

#84 - Treat people better than they treat you.

#85 - Be generous and kind to everyone.

#86 - Always try your best at everything.

#87 - Spend less money than you make. 

#88 - Pay your bills early. 

#89 - Look at situations positively. 

#90 - Always try to make others around you happy. 

#91 - Smile as often as you can, it will make others around you feel more comfortable.

#92 - You’re never too busy or important to be kind to others.

Dad Tips from DD:ADDS
  • Dad Tip #1: Don't forget to floss everyday
  • Dad Tip #2: It's never too early to invest in a personal IRA
  • Dad Tip #3: Start building creidt as early as possible
  • Dad Tip #4: Stand up for yourself - don't let anyone disrespect you
  • Dad Tip #5: Everyone needs to know how to use power tools
  • Dad Tip #6: Don't trust anyone who likes their meat well done
  • Dad Tip #7: LaserDisc is clearly the superior video format
  • Dad Tip #8: Drink a full glass of water in the morning to help wake up
  • Dad Tip #9: Don't use metal utensils on nonstick frying pans
  • Dad Tip #10: If you're parking uphill, be sure to turn your tires toward the street
  • Dad Tip #11: It's rude to ask people about their mysterious hand tattoos
  • Dad Tip #12: Moving pictures is hands down the best Rush album
  • Dad Tip #13: Buy quality, not quantity
  • Dad Tip #14: Shave with the grain
  • Dad Tip #15: You always have time for a beer with your buds
  • Dad Tip #16: Always use a coat of wax after wash
  • Dad Tip #17: Nothing can beat reading in print.
  • Dad Tip #18: Always carry a pocket knife
  • Dad Tip #19: Use your hips when throwing
  • Dad Tip #20: Keep your word
  • Dad Tip #21: Eat a lot of broccoli
  • Dad Tip #22: Drinking too much water can cause water intoxication
  • Dad Tip #23: Take care of your health while you're still young
  • Dad Tip #24: Always help a friend in need.
  • Dad Tip #25: Drink plenty of water
  • Dad Tip #26: Exercise regularly and you'll stay healthy!
  • Dad Tip #27: Don't eat too close to your bedtime
  • Dad Tip #28: Always check the card reader at ATMs before you swipe
  • Dad Tip #29: Medicine is not always the best medicine
  • Dad Tip #30: Always bring a war chest
  • Dad Tip #31: You're young, you have your health, now is the time to take risks
  • Dad Tip #32: You can't beat the whammy bar
  • Dad Tip #33: The solo from Kid Charlemagne is the greatest guitar solo ever recorded
  • Dad Tip #34: Peter Weller actually has a PHD in history
  • Dad Tip #35: It's called masking tape for a reason
  • Dad Tip #36: Trust no one
  • Dad Tip #37: If you press the ignition too long you'll just flood the engine
  • Dad Tip #38: The extended cut is the only cut worth watching
  • Dad Tip #39: They really stepped up the production value for Episode V
  • Dad Tip #40: Managing debt is just part of being an adult
  • Dad Tip #41: Run through the finish line
  • Dad Tip #42: What you do, when you don't have to, will determine where you'll be when you can't help it
  • Dad Tip #43: When lifting weights, use proper form and a full range of motion
  • Dad Tip #44: Gas is cheaper in the suburbs
  • Dad Tip #45: Do what you love and the money will come
  • Dad Tip #46: Do it once, do it right
  • Dad Tip #47: Don't skip the corners
  • Dad Tip #48: Eat plenty of carbs the night before a big game
  • Dad Tip #49: If the police are driving behind you, don't give them probable cause to pull you over
  • Dad Tip #50: Try to drive in a way where you never have to use your brakes
  • Dad Tip #51: You can save bookmarks directly to your desktop
  • Dad Tip #52: A bird in the hand is better than a bird in the eye.
  • Dad Tip #53: Pet every dog.
  • Dad Tip #54: Have you ever read Rich Dad Poor Dad?
  • Dad Tip #55: Liquor beforee beef, you're in the clear
  • Dad Tip #56: Go ask your mother
  • Dad Tip #57: If life gives you lemons, parsley, onions, and eggs... make a really nice omelet
  • Dad Tip #58: Practice makes permanent.
  • Dad Tip #59: First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairiest chest
  • Dad Tip #60: Never give up, never remember
  • Dad Tip #61: That quirky lab assistant from NCIS just reminds me of you
  • Dad Tip #62: Whistle while you work
  • Dad Tip #63: Please remember to call us once in a while
  • Dad Tip #64: Get whatever job you want, just make sure it includes health insurance
  • Dad Tip #65: grow your own vegetables. It's cheaper, I think
  • Dad Tip #66: It's okay if you don't come in first, just make sure you have health insurance
  • Dad Tip #67: Try to exercise regularly
  • Dad Tip #68: Sleep is important! Make sure you're getting enough.
  • Dad Tip #69: It's okay to cry if you're sad
  • Dad Tip #70: Make sure to sweep under your tent so you don't sleep on rocks
  • Dad Tip #71: Good tire pressure is essential to optimal mileage
  • Dad Tip #72: The only acceptable time and place for decaf coffee is never and in the trash
  • Dad Tip #73: When changing a tire, make sure to tighten the bolts in a starfish pattern
  • Dad Tip #74: Anyone who tells you that a drink isn't manly has never known heartache
  • Dad Tip #75: Call someone if you're thinking about them. They probably want to hear from you.
  • Dad Tip #76: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all
  • Dad Tip #77: Don't smoke
  • Dad Tip #78: Try not to make assumptions about people
  • Dad Tip #79: Don't trust gas station egg sandwiches
  • Dad Tip #81: It's better to be early than latE
  • Dad Tip #82: Eat a balance meal everyday that includes vegetables, fruit and proteins
  • Dad Tip #83: Minimize eating fried foods, candy, and sweets
  • Dad Tip #84: Treat people better than they treat you
  • Dad Tip #85: Be generous and kind to everyone
  • Dad Tip #85: Be generous and kind to everyone
  • Dad Tip #86: Always try your best at everything
  • Dad Tip #87: Spend less money than you make
  • Dad Tip #88: Pay your bills early
  • Dad Tip #89: Look at situations positively
  • Dad Tip #90: Always try to make others around you happy
  • Dad Tip #91: Smile as often as you can, it will make others around you feel more comfortable
  • Dad Tip #92: You're never too busy or important to be kind to others

i’m always a slut for a christmas au 

  • “i know we hate each other but it’s christmas eve and your flight was cancelled please come inside”
  • “i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years”
    SNOWBALL FIGHTS
  • “hi we’re neighbours and omg are you alright i could smell cooking burning - whoaaa now that’s just embarrassing? step aside i’ll handle this”
  • person a seducing person b into taking a few steps back/backing them against the wall (”oh look, how did that mistletoe get right there????”)
  • “you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”
  • “YES I BOOBY TRAPPED THE PRESENTS BECAUSE YOU DO THIS EVERY FUCKING YEAR”
  • “i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”
  • I KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
  • MY MOM KNITTED YOU A JUMPER
  • “we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”
  • “i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”
  • “’it’s a wonderful life’ aww it sounds so cute babe sure we can watch it! *30 mins later* “YOU MONSTER”
  • “we were playing in the snow and you suddenly tackled me to the ground and now…we’re just…staring… at each other…”
  • “YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”
  • TREE DECORATING (bonus points if one of them is doing it completely wrong omg why am i in love with you) 
  • “we took our kids to santa’s workshop and they both wished we would get together”
    FRIENDS AU - “our christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt i never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 
  • “we’re co workers who hate each other but you had too much to drink at the staff christmas party and admitted your love for me i don’t know how to act around you now” 
  • DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”) 
  • TEACH ME HOW TO SKI (lol jk i know how you’re just so fucking cute)
  • “there’s a storm and omg i’m losing signal are you okay?? hold on let me drive 489432 miles to get you the night before christmas” 
  • PULLING YOU IN FOR A KISS WITH A SCARF 
  • “i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face”
voltron characters and how they sleep

lance: like sleeping beauty, straight as a rod, face turned up, hands folded perfectly so he doesnt ruin his nightly face mask. He silently snores but will deny it. the first time hunk ever saw him sleep, he swore it was like watching the sleeping beauty scene from th emovie, he even swore that lance was sparkling… but that might have just been his imagination. He also is one heavy sleeper, nothing can wake him up, unless you slap him. But lance is generally an easrly riser, always the first one up unless of course pidge just never went to bed. This is due to the fact that he had to get up really early in his house hold to get all the chores done

keith: he sleeps all curled up ina smol ball with his hand under his pillow, he’s got a knife under there…just in case. He is a very loud snorer, also a very light sleeper, the slightest sound will wake him up… except for his own loud ass snoring. Usually the second or thrid one up in the morning, generally greeted with lance’s face waking him up because “god mullet head, its 10:30 already get up!” 2 words BED HEAD keith has the worst bed head known to anyone, his hair is sticking up all over the place and it’s basically untamable until he showers.

Shiro: he just collapses in his bed, sprawled out like a damn starfish. The poor dude is fucking exhausted from running this choatic space family. jyst let the poor guy sleep. He is also a really loud snorer and a hella heavy sleeper. usually he doesnt even get the chance to crawl under the covers, he just flops onto the bed and is out. Shiro often shifts in his sleep and has nightmares, bc of the whole “champion” ordeal, it really gets to him. He is usually the 2nd one up in the morning and has some nice bonding moments with lance

pidge:  they dont sleep at all, like they’re up 24/7 in the science lab thingy. Sometimes they’ll fall alseep and Lance will find them early in the morning and bring them to bed. Pidge knows this but doesn’t say anything, neither does lance. And if Lance doesn’t physically take them to bed, pidge will just stay up, they run on coffee and science. Sometimes Lance will stay with them early in the morning just so they have company, pidge will never admit it but they enjoy it. But when they do happen to sleep, its for like 4 hours and they too are sprawled out

coran:  sleeps in the weirdest positions. you can find him upside down, curled in a ball. for quiznaks sake Allura once found him standing up dead asleep. He doesnt snore.. too loud and he doesnt drool either. But he’s a sleepwalker/singer/talker. He just basically does everything asleep. Allura has gotten used to is, but it freaks the fuck out of pidge and lance at like 3am in the morning when they’re up and suddenly coran pops out from no where. The paladins are slowly trying to get used to it. 

Hunk:  he lays on his side all curled up, like ahuge soft teddy bear. Suprising to most, hunk doesnt snore at all. Always the ;last one to get up but no one scolds him bc how can you be mad at an angel. Hunk does drool in his sleep, its actually kind of nasty. Lance found that out the hard way when hunk fell asleep on him in the garrison and found a pool of drool on his shoulder. Hunk aften tosses and moves around in his sleep, always trying to find the most comfy position. He also sleeps under a nest of blankets and pillows, he gets really cold in his sleep

allura: she sleeps like a literal princess cause she is one. She’s flawless while asleep and awake. She is the loudest snorer and drools as well. She doesn’t fall asleep easily but when she does shes out. but like pidge, she doesnt sleep very much, maybe like 4-6 hours. and sometimes allura doesnt sleep for a solid 36 hours. its not good for her but some days when she’s really tired she and lance will have a spa day to relax and take the edge off.

2

So I’m very unobservant if I’m JUST now noticing exactly how long Vaard’s hair is in-game. I guess I never really noticed it on Pally Vaard because it’s always clipped into his armor.  If I drew him with hair as long as he actually had in-game, it’d be a glorious mess if he ever let it down. I am easily amused.

Halloween Omorashi Prompts

I absolutely love Halloween. It’s the perfect holiday and season for omorashi. I’m actually planning on writing a bunch of fics with these prompts once it gets closer to the actual holiday.

-A character in a complicated costume at a party, possibly tipsy or drunk, that can’t get their outfit off in time, wetting themselves in front of the toilet.

-An easily scared character getting dragged to a haunted house by their friends/lover, they’re desperate as they walk through it, leaking a bit everytime something jumps out at them, eventually they can’t take it anymore and wet themselves when something especially scary jumps out at them, soaking their pants and sobbing.

-If the character is at the haunted house with friends, the person in costume that causes them to wet themself feels guilty about it and leads them off to the bathroom to get cleaned up. They turn out to be really attractive underneath the scary costume and are actually really sweet. They ask the person who wet for their number.

-An easily scared character being convinced to have a horror movie marathon with their friends and/or lover. During one of the movies, all the soda they drank makes its way to their bladder, but they’re far too scared to get up and go to the bathroom alone and way too embarrassed to ask someone to come with them.

-Or the character is so frightened after the movies that when they wake up in the middle of the night desperate, they’re way too scared to get up and go. Possibly a friend or lover could help them to the bathroom or get a bottle for them to go in instead.

-A character lost in a corn maze that’s desperate to use the bathroom. The corn maze is so big and they can’t seem to find their way out. They either go off the path and into the corn to relieve themself in private or they wet themself when a cheeky friend/lover who was hiding in the corn jumps out and scares them.

-A group of friends or a couple having a holding contest while watching horror movies or playing scary video games that have plenty of jump scares.

-A group of seniors in highschool that want to go trick or treating one last time before they’re officially adults. One of then has been chugging water all evening, the cold air making their throat very dry. After trick or treating for a while, they’re extremely full. They don’t want to say anything to their friends and ruin all the fun by having to head back.

-A character who’s been apple picking and searching for the perfect pumpkin to carve into a jack-o-lantern all day is getting desperate from all the apple cider they’ve been drinking. There’s sadly no bathroom there. On the way home, they end up having to stop on the aide of the road and pee in the woods which is extremely scary, especially during the Halloween season.

I’ll probably make a part 2 for this if I think of more. I really like these and I hope they can help people get some inspiration or just get them in the Halloween mood.

Asriel's Scar

butterflygon submitted: 

Now that we’re back to Caretaker’s main timeline I thought about how Asriel got his infamous scar. I think almost everyone (including me) believes that it was caused by one of the fallen humans, but I haven’t seen that many people speculate about why a human might have attacked Asriel in the first place. The easy answer would be that the human was just incredibly violent and/or was frightened by Asriel and lashed out, but then I started thinking… could there be a reason for a human to attack Asriel that has little to do with the latter just being violent? 

Well, turns out that there is: we know from the game that a human soul alone isn’t enough to cross the barrier; it takes a human absorbing a monster soul or vice versa to cross. Now, in canon, this knowledge came from Alphys, who has spent the better part of her role as a royal scientist studying soul power, but we know from Caretaker’s second interlude that Gaster did the same here. Maybe one of the previous humans learned this information and in an attempt to get back to the surface (and possibly also get away from Chara) tried to take Asriel’s soul. And Asriel would be the easiest candidate, since as a Boss Monster he has a soul strong enough to last some time after death, plus he probably spends more time away from his home than Asgore and Toriel seem to do, leaving him the most likely Boss Monster to run into a desperate human.

TL; DR, Asriel may have been attacked for his soul and that’s why he has a scar. Maybe it’s a bit too early to start thinking about this, but it’s been in my mind for a while so might as well get it out now :P

Camping Antics – ArchiexReader! Mini Fic - Part One.

hey guys, so this is going to be an ArchiexReader! mini fanfic, probably with two or three parts! This was a prompt sent in by @sweetvengeancee so hopefully it does it justice haha. Part one is basically setting up the storyline :) If you’d like to be added to the taglist, please hit me up, and also send me some feedback in my ask! :)

Summary: (Y/N) and the others go camping, which leads to Archie and (Y/N) sharing a tent for a night ;)

Warnings: THIS FIC WILL CONTAIN SMUT. There are hints of smut in this part, but please be warned, that the second part will definitely be smutty. Could I say smut any more? Yes, yes I could.

PART TWO HERE.

Originally posted by capturingfandoms


PART ONE.

The sky was an inky, midnight blue with tiny pin-pricks of bright white. The chill in the air was evident by the visible clouds of our breath that enveloped our faces. We sat around the small campfire that Betty had expertly lit, and the smell of toasted marshmallows wafted through the air.

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