it's lonely on the other side

anyway my friend in psychology and i stayed up a little to talk and stuff and i was saying how after class he didnt take the train with us (with mE because we both go down at the same station and its like,, theres this station where all your friends would get off and i’d just be alone for another few stations and sometimes i get lonely lol but point is he doesnt take the train with us period) and it wasnt like i was upset or making fun of him, i was just purely making an observation

and he started off with

‘being around people makes me anxious’ and he laughed and then continued with ‘like im used to taking the train alone so when i have to take with friends its like shit what do i say what do we talk about’ and never, in my life, have i ever related to something so hard,, and i just,,,,,, 

DM: You see a zombie on the other side of the room

Bard OOC: I run up to get it in a choke hold and pop its head off



Bard OOC: Because Harry and Jerry (two skulls she’s ripped off skeletons earlier) are lonely

*Rolls nat 20*

DM: Fine. You do an acrobatic pirouette over a desk and a pile of books and get it into a choke hold and it’s head pops right off. it’s body turns into dust and you have another head for your collection

Bard: YAY! I’m gonna name you Carrie!

Number 12 Grimmauld Place is no longer hidden. It sits neatly between Number 11 and Number 13, its wrought iron polished and shiny, its windows clean of dust and grime. Muggles can see it, though they rarely give it more than a moment’s glance; wizards and witches will occasionally approach cautiously to lay down a wreath of flowers, or a handwritten note addressed to The Boy Who Lives Still. Their wary respect is well-intentioned but unnecessary- Number 12 is second only to Hogwarts in the number of protective spells and wards place around it.

It is empty most of the year.

Fall winds blow and disturb no one’s slumber inside. In winter, snow gathers on the steps and railings; the windows remain dark and the curtains drawn. No flowers peek out from the windowsills to celebrate the arrival of spring. 

In the summer, they arrive.

From the outside, there is nothing to unite them. There are loud, boisterous teenagers and shy, quiet children no older than twelve; there are some dressed in the latest Muggle fashions and some whose jeans are patched and worn. They are of all races and ethnicities, all shapes and sizes, from all parts of the British Isles; they can be heard chattering in accents that clash and meld and somehow become harmonious. From the outside, they have nothing in common. But since when has someone’s outside reflected who they really are?

Molly Weasley was the first person Harry told about his idea. She and Arthur help him expand Number 12′s interior, adding bathrooms and reading nooks and bedrooms. Ginny chooses the squashiest armchairs and sturdiest furniture, tracking down bargains with a fierce glint in her eyes. When he realizes he needs an outdoor space, Hermione helps him to link his back door to an empty field. Ron helps Bill put up Quidditch hoops while Neville transplants trees and Hannah stations benches beneath their shady branches. Parvati paints the rooms in swirls of bright colors- green and red and blue and yellow mingle on the walls. 

In the summer, Number 12 Grimmauld Place becomes a refuge for lost children. They are the ones with no home to go to when the term ends, the ones who don’t have someone waiting to pick them up when the Hogwarts Express pulls into Platform 9 ¾. They are the ones whose homes are not safe, who grow anxious as June approaches and spring turns to summer. They are the ones who are no longer welcomed by those who share their blood, who have had to make family out of friends.

Harry Potter greets these students at Kings Cross and he takes them in.

In the summer, former DA members stream in and out of Number 12′s brightly polished door. Luna brings suitcases packed with odd creatures she’s discovered on her travels; the students sit in the sunny field as she pulls them out one by one and tells of hiking up mountains and wading through marshes. Ginny gives flying lessons and organizes Quidditch matches; the Harpies donate their old brooms when they switch sponsors (something that happens far more often than any other team in the league). There is a greenhouse where students with a green thumb can tend their own plots and assist Neville with his herbology experiments. Justin and Hermione drill them on Muggle subjects; Justin teaches algebra, geometry, and basic sciences while Hermione covers history and literature. George always spends a memorable week showing off his newest inventions while Ron drops by almost every evening to play chess. Students entering their fifth year can spend the summer shadowing people in careers that pique their interest; the Trio rarely use their fame for their own gain, but they wield it with fierce determination in the service of others. 

In the summer, these children are fed by Molly Weasley, hugged by Hannah Abbott, told bedtime stories by Luna Lovegood. They can spend all day reading under a tree or playing Exploding Snap in the kitchen or arguing about how best to make a phone work at Hogwarts. They can wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and make their way down to the kitchen, where Harry will meet them with a mug of hot tea and a listening ear. They can stay in bed on days when the world is too cruel and lonely, when the emptiness in their body is too heavy to bear. They can see others who struggle with it too and realize that family is not limited by blood, that being lonely doesn’t always mean being alone.

In the summer, Number 12 Grimmauld Place opens its doors wide and vibrates with life. It becomes a place where Sirius Black would be welcomed along with Severus Snape, where Harry Potter and Tom Riddle could spend their summers side by side.

In the summer, Number 12 Grimmauld Place becomes a home.


After many months of being squashed by the stresses of my last year of graduate school, my muse has come roaring back with a vengeance. No promises on when the next update will be, but I hope you enjoy this piece

The Signs and Cities III:

Aries: A city sinking into the mire. Its foundations the rooftops of old, great spires digging into the earth like pins.

Taurus: A colossal war machine, ever it ticks deeper. It seems to run without power. Where is it going?

Gemini: A city of worship carved into a great snowy mountain. Great effigies of holy beasts adorn its lonely walls.

Cancer: What was a city of refuge. All that remains are stone foundations and walls worn smooth to driftwood by the sea. 

Leo: A city on the other side. A city away from it all. A city governed by a jealous tyrant. 

Virgo: A city built as a warning. Great courthouses and barracks protecting what its residents believe to be the heart of something old.

Libra: A city taken from below. Its yards now overgrown and windows tarnished. What’s left of its residents now scour the deep as lost blind things.

Scorpio: A city of gutters and trash, but not seen as so by its residents. A house of parliament stands proudly at its center.

Ophiuchus: A city made from a forest of scarlet trees. The earth carries a different scent here.

Sagittarius: A city abandoned and overgrown. Your footsteps echo far too loudly here. Its vast vaulted halls are host to none, but you feel as if you are trespassing. 

Capricorn: A city shrouded in secret. The entrance is hidden, unreachable by those who do not know how to find it.

Aquarius: A city of noise and tunnels. Everything lost seems to turn up here eventually.

Pisces: A city of astronomers. Its ceilings glass, telescopes always peering into the void.

With All My Heart - Part 11

Word Count: 2691

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Medical situations

A/N: Thanks to @percywinchester27 for the help 

Feedback and Constructive Criticism Always Appreciated

With All My Heart Masterlist

“Can I have access to my girlfriend sometime this week?” Jensen glared at Emma who hadn’t stopped cuddling you since you let her in the room. You were going home today and she still refused to leave your side, taking up half your bed and clinging to you like glue.

“No.” She answered, burying her face in your neck. “She’s mine now. You had your turn.” You held your hand up to your face and laughed, cringing a little at the pain it caused. You didn’t see him snap the photo of you in that moment, but he couldn’t help himself. Seeing you laughing again made him happy.

Keep reading

Dragon Tales

Originally posted by tahyns

Yoongi (BTS), for anon

Type: Fluff, Harry Potter!AU (Ravenclaw!Reader)

Words: 3156

Summary: It’s the year of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and as a Care for Magical Creatures student, you just have to sneak out to see the dragons.

A/N: FUCK I got so into this omfg. It was only supposed to be 1000 words and we all see how that ended up^. Also credit goes to @asheathes for the name of Yoongi’s institute. Her Wizarding Schools Around the World series is flawless!

You huffed and scurried along the corridor towards the Great Hall, your breathing ragged. If you didn’t hurry, you were going to completely miss dinner, and tonight was the night that the other schools arrived: an arrival which you were dying to see. But of course, the staircases had to change right as you were coming down from the Ravenclaw tower, leaving you to the discretion of the portraits to try and find a new path down to the first floor. It had taken you nearly forty-five minutes.

When you arrived at the Great Hall, the feast was in full swing. Sighing with relief at the fact that Durmstrang and Beauxbatons hadn’t yet made their entrance, you carefully picked your way over to the Ravenclaw table.

“Y/N!” You heard a friendly voice call, and poked your head up. Your mouth was full of mashed potatoes - you’d been starving before you’d even left the Ravenclaw common room, and the trek down the stairs didn’t help your growling stomach – so all you could do was wave enthusiastically.

Coming towards you were your two best friends, both sporting their matching, brilliant red and gold ties. Try as you might, you couldn’t help feel a little bit of jealousy still, after all this time, that the two had both been placed into Gryffindor together. They were absolutely joined at the hip, both tall and incredibly beautiful. Walking towards you, they looked like models.

Which was why, the average, bookish Ravenclaw that you were, you couldn’t help but feel like the weird, third wheel of a friend. The three of you had shared a compartment on the Hogwarts Express your very first night, and even though you’d been separated by the sorting house, MaKenna and Maggie had stuck by you, and broken the rules countless times by coming and eating dinner with you at the Ravenclaw table.

“Hi, guys,” you said, after you’d gulped down the mouthful of potatoes. You’d put a bit too much in your mouth, and it felt like a stone in your stomach as it settled.

“What took you so long to come to dinner?” Maggie asked, grabbing a piece of bread and coating it with a small layer of butter. MaKenna sipped her pumpkin juice, waiting on your answer.

“The stairs changed,” you groaned. Noticing that the third and fourth members of your party weren’t around, you changed the topic. “Where’s Jungkook and Taehyung?”

“They had a late practice. Something about the Durmstrang team trying to play them while they’re here, so their practices have been even later,” MaKenna answered matter-of-factly. Jungkook and Taehyung, the legendary Gryffindor beaters, had been dating MaKenna and Maggie since their third years. It amazed you, how two pairs of best friends could start dating each other so coincidentally. But it had seemed like the two boys had fallen for your friends instantaneously, and there was no going back.

“I heard that Hufflepuff has been asking around about you. What’s his name? Jin…?” Maggie started, a smirk playing on her lips. Ever since the two of them had started dating someone, they’d endlessly been trying to set you up with someone. Honestly, you were perfectly happy being single and fifth-wheeling, something MaKenna and Maggie just couldn’t seem to grasp.

“His name is Jimin. And I tutored him in Potions once. There’s no reason for him to be asking about me,” you groaned. “I’ve just decided to be single for the rest-“

“Hi, love,” Maggie squealed suddenly, an arm coming around her waist. Taehyung pecked a sloppy kiss on her check, breaking off your sentence. And you’d never get to finish it, because just as Jungkook was sliding onto the bench on the other side of MaKenna, the candles suddenly dimmed, and a faint rhythmic thumping could be heard from outside the doors of the Great Hall.

“It’s Durmstrang,” Maggie whispered, as the Great Hall had suddenly become eerily quiet. With that, the doors burst open, and in walked a flood of boys in thick, heavy fur coats. Leading their way, a great staff thumping the floor, was their headmaster.

“Look! It’s Kai and Sehun!” Taehyung squealed, almost at a higher pitch than Maggie. He was gesturing to two boys, one wearing a think white coat, the other in black towards the head of the Durmstrang crowd.

“They’re Durmstrang’s beaters. People have compared them to the Weasley twins,” Jungkook hissed, both awe and a tinge of jealousy in his tone.

“And there’s Kris Wu!” MaKenna gasped, a hand going over her lips. You watched the boy she’d just pointed to, who you’d heard around the grapevine was the chosen Durmstrang contestant for the Tournament. He was lethal looking enough, with his shaved head and thick tribal tattoos wrapping around the base of his skull, along his neck, and disappearing under his coat’s neckline.

Beaxbatons came in shortly after, and more fawning was done around the tables as the girls produced a much more dainty and elegant entrance than that of the Durmstrang boys. Just as suddenly as they’d entered, the feast was over, and everyone was retiring to their common rooms. The next few weeks would be insane, you knew: morning classes and evening festivities for everyone. The professors were going light on everyone, but you still knew there would be work, and plenty of it, for you to do.

Once the staircase leading towards the Gryffindor common room came into view, Maggie took off with a loud cackle, Taehyung laughing and sprinting off after her in an extremely loud game of tag. Jungkook and MaKenna both waved to you, following their friends up to their rooms, hand in hand.

And then, you were alone. You suddenly realized how full and exhausted you felt, and the trek back up the stairs suddenly seemed very looming and tiring. You finally made it to the Ravenclaw tower, barely solving the riddle to let you into the common room. It was a particularly hard one tonight, probably due to the fact that there were so many new people wandering the halls.

The common room was insanely crowded, forcing you to push your way past the intense amount of students milling around. They were all trying to have a go at Namjoon, the Ravenclaw prefect and also the number one contestant to represent Hogwarts in the Tournament. He was perched in a fluffy arm chair by the fire, his best friend Jin to his right. A group of second year girls were fluffing their hair in the hopes of talking to him.

And then someone asked Namjoon about the dragons. You immediately froze, your ears perking up. You’d decided to major in Care for Magical Creatures last year, and even though you knew that there would be dragons at the tournament, you hadn’t given them another thought, until now.

“They’ve just arrived! I saw the fire balls as I was walking back from the Great Hall!” Someone shouted, and suddenly you had decided you weren’t as tired as you originally thought.

You slowly turned around, pushing your way back through the crowd and towards the back of the portrait leading towards the, now deserted, staircases.
You weren’t exactly sure what you were doing, not until you had found your way out of the castle and into the courtyard. You could smell the flames in the air; dragons, you’d read, always brought with them the smell of heat and ash.

Luckily, a fireball was thrown into the air towards your right, giving you a general direction to walk in.

You knew this was against the rules, you knew that you could potentially be kicked out for sneaking a peak at the dragons, especially since you and Namjoon the potential Hogwarts star were in the same house, and you could always take back your information to him. You’d always been a rule follower, a meek student who paid attention in class and turned her homework in on time. Yet, these were dragons. Who knew if, even in your studies of magical creatures, you’d ever get the opportunity to see another one; dragons and their keepers were incredibly recluse, and thousands of witches and wizards went their whole life without seeing a single one. There were even petitions to remove the dragons from the Tri-Wizard Tournament, but traditions kept them apart of the main event, and kept the beasts and their handlers coming down from the mountains to participate.

You heard quite a bit of shouting when you arrived at the campsite. Tents for the trainers were set up far enough away from the dragon’s cages, and inside the iron bars were the incredible beasts, spitting flames every now and then. Occasionally, someone would shout in panic and the handlers would rush over to the cages, putting out fires and feeding the dragons to try and keep them calm. You could see now why they’d want to take the dragons out of the tournament: caging them and flying them over here must be extremely hard on both the dragons and their keepers.

Sitting off to the side, away from the other cages, was a lone cage. The darkness shaded the large figure inside, but you could tell something was moving in it. Keeping a watch out for the trainers, you sneaked your way towards it, coming to a stop a few feet away, where you could completely make out the form inside.

The dragon inside was smaller than the others, turning around quickly over and over. It prowled along the bars of the cage, it’s copper colored scales brushing the iron bars. Its folded wings were a deep red, and adorning its head were short, black horns. You peered at it curiously, and then it turned its black eyes to you, meeting your gaze straight on.

You gasped and took half a step back, not expecting the dragon to be so humanly conscious. You could see a bout of emotions swirling in its all knowing eyes. No class you took in Care for Magical Creatures had ever prepared you for this moment, when you’d look a dragon in the eyes, and he’d look back.
“That’s a Peruvian Vipertooth,” a voice said from behind you. You almost shrieked, clamping your hands over your mouth just in time. “He’s the most venomous dragon in the world; that’s why we keep him away from the others. Just in case.”

You turned around, gazing at the trainer who had come up behind you. He was pale, his skin glowing in the moonlight. His deep ebony hair took on something of a blueish tint, and when he moved his head, you realized it was dyed a deep, midnight blue. But his eyes: even in the darkness you could see their blaze, just like the dragons. Maybe that was something that came with working with them: a knowing, passionate gaze in your eyes.

“You know you’re not supposed to be out here, right?” he asked, rubbing his hands together. They were filthy, covered completely by ash and soot; some was even smearing along his cheeks and forehead.

“I…I’m sorr… I just…” you stuttered, not able to get a single word out. He smirked devilishly, coming a few steps closer.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you snuck off here to see the dragons. They say that the contestants do it every tournament, although I didn’t expect the contestant for Hogwarts to be a tiny little Ravenclaw.”

“I’m not the contestant,” you snapped, snatching away your tie as he twirled the silver and blue material around in his fingers. “I’m pursuing a career in Care for Magical Creatures after my seventh year, and I was… I was just curious.”

“Pursuing a career, huh?” He chuckled, copying your tone. You realized just how pretentious you sounded, and your shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “You should run along, before I report you and have you kicked out for cheating.”

“Wait! I’m not cheating, I was just.. just curious. I’ve never seen a dragon before, you know? I’ve always been fascinated with them, and you guys, I just… please don’t turn me in?” You were groveling. Finally, the trainer in front of you smiled, and you realized for the first time how young he was. He couldn’t have been more than a year or two out school; barely older than yourself.

“What’s your name?” he asked gruffly.

“Y/N.” You almost stuttered over your own name, but tried to keep your cool. Getting kicked out of Hogwarts was probably the worst thing that could ever happen to you; you needed this guy to be on your side.

“Hmmm… well Y/N, maybe I could show you a few of the dragons, for a price.”

“What do you want?” you asked, your tone brightening. It looked as though you would be getting somewhere with him.

“What do you have to offer?” he asked, dark eyebrow raised. Your heart sank. He probably just wanted to sleep with you, and you couldn’t do that. Not even staying in Hogwarts was worth sleeping with this random stranger, no matter how beautiful he actually was, so he wouldn’t turn you in. You fumbled around in your pockets, coming up empty handed. Finally, you snatched the small silver band you wore on your index finger, the Ravenclaw raven engraved it, off and held it out.

“Here, this is all I have,” you stated, your palm flat and trembling. The trainer took the ring and examined it. Suddenly, he brought a piece of twine out of his pocket, cut it with a knife, and threading it through the ring before slipping it over is neck. The ring disappeared below his neckline.

“I guess the rumors about dragon trainers are true; we like shining things as much as the dragons,” he chuckled, and then turned a began to walk away. When he saw that you weren’t following him, he turned and narrowed his eyes. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Wait!” You snapped, catching up to him easily. “What’s your name?”

He chuckled again, and you realized how much more acttrative his smile made him; it was almost innocent. “I’m Yoongi. Now hurry up, or I’m going to turn you in just because you’re slow.”

You struggled to keep up with Yoongi’s fast pace; he was quite a bit taller than you, and his strides matched about two of yours. Finally, however, he came to a halt in front of a cage, a gleaming dragon curled up inside. Yoongi faced you, blocking your view of the cage. “This is the only one I’m showing you, and then you have to go back in to bed.”

You nodded eagerly. Yoongi chuckled at you, and then moved aside, letting you take in the beautiful dragon fully. The scales covering its body were the color of pearls, iridescent and creamy. When it cracked open one eye upon your gasp of awe, you noticed the pupil-less eye was multicolored, like a stain glass window.

“She’s an Antipodean Opaleye. She’s mine, or at least, she’s the dragon I train the most. I’ve got another, too – a Chinese Fireball – but I opted to not bring him. Boseog though, she’s a gentle giant.” He gestured towards his dragon, a loving smiling dancing on his lips. A few moment ago, it would have been hard to imagine the stony faced trainer smiling at something so lovingly, and yet here it was before your eyes.

“Her name is Boseog? What does that mean?” you asked, turning your attention back to the sleeping giant. Her scaled glittered in the moonlight.

“It’s Korean for jewel. I’m from Korea, I went to the South Korean Institute for the Art of Spellcraft. It’s not as esteemed as going to Hogwarts, though.”

“I’ve heard of that! You guys are one of the most technologically advanced wizarding schools in the world,” you said in awe. “What made you decide to train dragons?”

Yoongi chuckled at your reaction, but answered your question anyway. “We had a rogue dragon fly through from the Himalayas, searching for new territory. Poor thing was so far from home, and so lost. He dececrated a whole village. I was a first year back then, but the minute I saw him fly over me, I knew I’d never want to work with anything except dragons. So, after school, I went to Romania and trained under this old geezer, Charlie Weasley. He’s one of the best dragon trainers of all time, and he taught me everything I needed to know. And here I am. Boseog was the first dragon I ever trained.”

“She’s beautiful, Yoongi,” you whispered, your eyes never leaving the beast. A new sense of inspiration for magical creatures sparked inside of you; you never wanted to leave this lot and the dragons.

“Yeah, she is.” You turned your head, but Yoongi was already gaze at you. A flush went through his cheeks, and he quickly brushed his hands down his face, wiping more black soot along the way. “You should get back to your common room.”

“Oh… right,” you said, realizing it was much later than you’d planned to stay out. You had an early class tomorrow, and some unfinished homework. “Thank you, for everything. This was all really kind.”

“Hey, it’s not every day you get to show someone your dragon,” he smirked, and you laughed at his innuendo. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Yoongi,” you replied, turning to go. After a few paces, Yoongi called out to you.

“Maybe you’ll make it to Romania one of these days, and get your ring back.”

Suddenly, something in you snapped. You thought of Maggie and Taehyung, running up the stairs in a mad chase for each other. You thought about the way Jungkook always threading his fingers through MaKenna’s, just so. And you thought about how MaKenna and Maggie were always telling you to take a chance, make the first move. Branch out a little more, Y/N.

You turned sharply and sprinted back to Yoongi, throwing your arms around him. You smashed your lips to his, feeling him tense under you. Suddenly, after a moment, he relaxed into your kiss, pulling you close to him.

So there you were, under the stars, beside a dragon’s cage, kissing a complete stranger. He could have a wife and kids back in Romania; he could have murdered someone a week ago. But you were taking a chance, no matter how much soot and ash was staining your cheeks and clothes.

“Maybe I will,” you gasped after you pulled away, matching his smile with your own. You kissed him once more, feeling the subtle curve of his chap lips deliciously pressing to yours, before you turned away and made your way back to the castle.

Your uniform was filthy, but your lips tinged from Yoongi’s kisses. You ran your fingers along with slowly as you walked and grinning; he’d left your mouth tasting of fire and freedom.

Meta: DRRR, Shizaya, and Monstrous Romance

Alright. Shizaya. I should begin this by saying a couple of things: first of all, in the interests of time, much of this will be freeform more than pulling up specific examples from canon or screenshots or quotes or the like. Shizaya is one of my very top OTPs and I’ve spent a lot (possibly too much) time thinking about their dynamic, so a lot of this is built upon conclusions built on conclusions built on conclusions. It’s meta all the way down, folks. Also please note that much of this will be heavily colored by my own perspective here; I’m not trying to be unbiased or objective as much as to ramble for some extended period about my own take on one of my favorite ships. So take several grains of salt with you before we embark on this. It’s also going to be a mess. I’ll try to break it out into more-or-less cohesive sections, but I have a lot to say and I’m not sure even where to start so I’m just going to give it to you all at once. Hopefully it’s more fun than overwhelming.

With that I’ll jump right in!

Keep reading

Forget you

This is going to be long but… like… you don’t have to read it. Its really personal tho so… yeah…

Ok So… most of you don’t know this, but I actually have a twin brother who is only a few moments younger than me. Though we are polar opposites, he is my best friend. He’s the person I call when I am lonely. I’m the person he calls when he’s stressed. All of my weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa.
When I discovered Lolirock I was instantly drawn to Mephisto and Praxina. Its so rare to see brother/sister twins done well in media (NOTE: Yes we’ve seen Gravity falls. Yes its wonderful).  Its little things that other twins (I’m sure!) will know. The little side glances they give each other that need NO words. The bickering, but never crossing the line. The baseless threats… the scheming, even against their own leader… when you’re a twin the rest of the world comes second. Your twin feels like a separate part of you. Not a half or like a missing piece or something… like you have all these spare pieces that somehow makeup another human being who you don’t need to explain yourself to. The person who knows you SO well that they know every. single. thing. that. makes. you. CRAZY. And the person who knows you so well that with one word everything can feel better.

I was bewitched with how much they reminded me of me and my brother. The first example came from the episode ,“Batty,”

Mephsito: “Why do you always get to go first?”
Praxina: “Because I’m older,”
Mephisto: “WELL I’M TALLER!!”

This is literally a conversation he and I have had 100 times in our lives. I showed him the clip, he couldn’t believe it and demanded to know what the show was. He definitely teased me about it for its childish nature, but we started watching it here and there when we hang out, but only good twin episodes…  
Finally we got to Forget You this last weekend, and he got extremely emotional watching it.

You see, around the time we were close to finishing highschool, I… slipped into a horrible depression and let myself slip away from all the things I cared about. I wanted to feel normal. River was the only person who noticed. He was the only person who tried to help me. I was good at faking my smiles and playing the part, so everyone else made excuses and brushed him off as being silly or seeing signs that weren’t there. They all liked me better this way. I was easier, I was nicer… but I wasn’t me. River could tell, and he desperately did everything he could to help me, but it only made me resent him.

When Mephisto yells at Praxina, “I need you to remember who you are!” my brother started to get misty-eyed (I literally sobbed the first time I watched it tho). He looked at me and we had a silent moment. It was uncannily similar to the last argument he and I had after my “accident.”

I did something really bad. It almost got me killed. I don’t want to get into it, but I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and my recovery took a year. My brother was the only person who stood by me in that time, despite our extensive family. They’re good people… but they took it all pretty hard and pretty much gave up on me for what I had done. I didn’t blame them. I still don’t.

But River was there every day. Eventually, he was the only one. He would talk about goofy stuff for hours, just trying to help get my mind off the things that were polluting it. And I would lay there silently. I was so lost and broken and sad I couldn’t stand him. I would usually pretend to ignore him, or say something mean. He never seemed to mind too much. He was just so happy I was alive. He never gave up on me, though. Not once. And every day before he left he would ask if he could kiss me goodbye. I always told him no, so he would just say he loved me and that he was so happy I was ok. But I wasn’t ok. And in my mind, I thought I would never be ok again. And I was furious and jealous of him.  
One day, sitting in the hospital room, he made a very harmless joke about something and I responded with a very nasty insult, with only the intent to wound him. He got very quiet and sat still for a long time. It was the first time I had seen him cry since we were children.

“You know… everyone is mad at you. And I’m mad at you, too… but I love you too much to leave you. So You can give up if you want, but I will never give up on you… because I don’t know how to be without you.”
He had been fighting for me for so long at that point, and he was tired. He was completely exhausted. I finally could SEE it. I don’t know why I couldn’t before, but in that moment I finally realized all he had done, and I saw the last of his energy spent.

And he left, without asking if he could kiss me. And I cried. I thought I pushed him too far. I thought I had lost him like I had lost everyone else. I felt so alone.  
But the next day he came back, with 3 cups of jello (2 for him, 1 for me), that big stupid grin on his face and stories about our classmates from the day. He made a joke about the boy who I had once dated, and for the first time in months, I let myself honestly laugh. It felt so good and strange and suddenlly all I wanted was for him to talk more. He laughed a lot that day, and made jokes about stupid things. We watched a horrible lifetime movie and mocked it the entire time and I don’t think I have ever laughed so much. I still felt horrible. I still hated myself… but I didn’t feel alone anymore, and I didn’t know how I ever did.

And when he asked if he could kiss me goodbye, I told him “sure,” and he blew a raspberry on my forehead. He laughed so hard and said, “I have been waiting to do that for DAAAYS!”

Things weren’t suddenly better over night…I was too broken for that. I would still have my moments of cruelty and I would still wallow in my own self-pitty, but my brother was always there to remind me of who I was, who I really was. And with him, a few good therapists and lots of time and hard work, I was able to put the brunt of it behind me. And that never would have happened had he not revealed to me how hurt he was for me.  

Watching Forget You with him brought back that time for us both. It was emotional and tense watching it, but when Mephisto dropped to his knees, panting in exhaustion after dispelling all of his energy, only to have Praxina see his pain and willingly go back to him, River and I made the comparison.
Its exactly what I had to do.  River fought for me until he had nothing left in him, and it was what brought me back to him. a

I don’t have a point to this… I guess… just… the twins are magical to me. That episode was insanely close to home. I’ve never related so closely to any kind of relationship on a show ever. And even if my brother will not watch anymore episodes (not his cup of tea) he loves Forget You. Its just nice to see something we can relate to on that level.  I think Its a really special show for SO many reasons, and I am heartbroken to see Praxina driven to madness by the thought of her brothers death. Honestly, if that happened to River I would probably become a psychopath as well. a

In my brothers’ words, “I would fight ALL the sparkly princesses for you!”
Me too, bro. Me. Too.

What if the grass is greener on the other side because it’s always raining there. Where the ones who never fail to give, hardly have enough to spare.
Where the people with the broadest smiles, have a pillow filled with tears.
And the bravest ones you’ll ever know are crippled by their fears.
It’s filled with lonely people, but their never seen alone.
Where those who lack real shelter, make you feel the most at home.
Maybe their grass is greener, because they’ve painted on its hue.
Just remember from the other side, your grass looks greener too.
—  Earnest Hemingway
positives to the signs
  • Aries: your volatility and impulsivity is taken as directness, but your energy and movement comes from your complete trust in your intuition that it's perfect for you - even if it hurts
  • Taurus: materialism is the only other place you find your home, other than in your closest friends and family. you know they won't leave you when times are tough
  • Gemini: your socialite nature and constant craving of people stops you from feeling so lonely and split within yourself, you will always be moving towards knowing everyone so you can know both sides of yourself
  • Cancer: you feel everything deeply, but you are an excellent businesshead and your creativity and follow through for new projects are unparalleled, your strength of emotions make you an unsuspecting dangerous player
  • Leo: attention seeking and over dramatisation makes up for your need to reach an unrealistic state of perfection, as you strive to get to the ideal state of yourself
  • Virgo: your attention to detail stops you from over thinking and falling down into a pit of insecurity that is only ever created by your head
  • Libra: your relationships can cloud level-headed judgement, but you are so wise, just, and merciful, and you are driven equally by yourself as by others, your love for relationships are not weak
  • Scorpio: your darkness and iciness appears to be dangerous, but you're really just over-loving and self-protective because you can see the darkness so clearly, and you don't want to be hurt
  • Sagittarius: your lack-of or contrastingly intense direction and expansion only covers your intuitive knowledge of the makeup of the universe, you speak the language of the stars
  • Capricorn: your intensity and self protection masks a soft and gentle soul, forever incredibly deeply loyal to those who prove themselves
  • Aquarius: your rebellion covers your fears for humanity and yourself, your independence covers your love for closeness and understanding
  • Pisces: your aloofness masks your deep connection and bridge with both spiritual and earthly realm, knowing if you get too attached to one, you will become unbalanced and terrified
QueenCobbleFreeze Masterlist!

-I get asked for this a lot so here you go!

Oswald x Reader fluff-

Why doesn’t he love me? Oswald has been keeping you a secret for a while, ignoring you in public and all you want is to shout your love from the rooftops

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A Gift- Oswald cant resist buying you the kitten you become attached to after dragging him into the pet shop

The Scent of Love- Oswald takes you perfume shopping

Marry Me- Its the evening before the attack on Galavan and Oswald has a very important question for you

Mr Cobblepots Penguin- You steal a Penguin from the zoo for Oswald, he doesn’t see the funny side until he’s convinced otherwise

Tea for TwoYou take a lonely walk, only to spend your day with an unexpected handsome stranger.

My Treasure-   You await Oswald’s release from Arkham, but he isn’t the man you once knew

Tuna Sandwiches-  You comfort a nervous Oswald at the Eye Doctors

Other fluff-

Little Oswald and Gertrude- The ZooGertrude takes Oswald to the Zoo where he encounters a Penguin for the first time, hiding her emotion from her own sadness, she focuses on her son’s happiness

Selina Kyle x Male Reader- Alley Cat - Its your anniversary and Cat has a gift for you 100% fluff

Edward x Male Reader- In his arms- After a hard time at work Edward soothes you

Edward x Reader- Warmth- Ed takes care of you after learning you have a cold

Keep reading for all the SMUT

Keep reading

On those long drives south, you will pass fields of wind turbines.
They will stand so stoically, you will briefly ponder how they got there,
and how they can be so perfect.
You will realize they were put there for that very purpose.

You will pass billboards for businesses
that feel like home to somebody,
but to you are only brief glimpses to be immediately forgotten.
You will pass oddities.
A beaten down store that sells only bottled water, advertised proudly on sun-faded signs.
A barn on the side of the road with “REPENT” painted in large letters across the roof,
surrounded only by emptiness for miles in all directions.
Large animal statues that at one point,
long ago,
were built for a reason.
Mostly, however, you will pass normality, in all of its bustling stillness.

Wherever you are at 5:37 p.m., the sky will look beautiful.
And it will look beautiful until nighttime falls, masking the vast web of highways
in a blanket of familiarity,
because darkness looks the same from one side of the world to the other.

You will spend hours counting down the miles until you are home,
and once you are home,
you will wish that you were anywhere else.
Home is lonely. You will be reminded of this.
Reality will fall like dust across your suitcase,
now only a chore to be unpacked.
And when it begins raining in your backyard,
you will wonder how the weather is
in Decatur.

—  G.S.
All Dreamed Away, Cat/Kara, Rating: M

When Kara comes to Earth, she notices something different when she sleeps.

On a planet where soulmates are found in dreams, what happens to a girl who can’t dream at all?

It takes three nights in Metropolis, that strange place that’s nothing like Argo City, before she shakes Kal awake. There are hours yet until the dawn of the yellow sun. There’s so much to adjust to, her strength and the sounds, and the way the whole world is turned up too high. At least she can’t hurt him when she shoves him hard enough to make the bed he sleeps on creak.

“What is it, Kara?”

He says her name wrong, flat and without its usual lilt. He says it like the humans do.

“I’ve lost my dreams,” she tries to explain. Twenty-four lost years and all she had were her dreams, cycling through her memories of Krypton and imaginings of what it would have been like, had the planet not perished. Here, when she closes her eyes and lets her body relax, she sees only darkness for hours. It’s so very lonely that Kara wakes up crying. Her dreams are where her mother and father live, where the spires still stand and the sun glows red and true.

“Oh kid,” he sighs. He reaches towards the other side of the bed, unable to hide his disappointment when he finds it empty. That woman Kara saw yesterday, the one from work. She understands that the space in the bed is usually filled by her. “You and I? We don’t get those here on Earth. I didn’t understand what people were talking about for the longest time, but it’s something to do with our powers I guess.”

“Okay.” Kara shuffles back towards to the doorway. She hesitates, wonders if he’ll realize. Kal smiles weakly, before pulling a pillow back over his head. He’s not a parent, Kara tells herself again. He doesn’t know that after a scare in the middle of the night, he should take her back to bed and watch until she falls asleep, maybe stroke her hair just a little to help her do it.

In the morning, he tells her about a place called Midvale. A family called the Danvers. Three days ago, Kara would have resisted with every fiber of her being. Instead she nods, and goes to pack her few belongings into a small bag.

Read the rest on AO3.

The Botanist;

I heard someone shouting out the driveway. I live in a small compound designed to look Italian or Greek. European. Let’s keep it safe at that. Colored white and blue but the verandas resembled more the Italian homes you see in movies. The walls ran drip stains on the sides. The lack of care from the old landlord was apparent. I have lived here for a year now and became friends with almost every neighbor but the one at the far end, left side of the 8-apartment compound. 4 houses on either side facing directly each other. All noise from any of them audible even from the depths of the lonely bedroom I occupy.

Instinctively, I went out. The kids from the house at the right side end have glued their eyes already in their dirty feet, their hands fidgeted on their tail end. I was watching a movie that Sunday afternoon. It was boring and I wanted something to distract me and that moment felt perfect even if the glum look on the kids’ faces made me frown too. Two plant pots scattered its contents on the floor. Some exotic looking plant laid flat looking more lifeless than it usually does. The other plant stood still yet as lifeless as the other. The man shouted shifting his stare from the kids to the plants. His right index finger stiffened. I couldn’t see his left hand from the angle but I imagined it tighten bit by bit on the adjacent hip.

He was screaming about how precious the plants were.

He was screaming. He was red. The kids were gray.

One of the kids, Angelo, shifted his eyes to me almost teary eyed almost pleading for salvation. By this time more and more people were coming out of their houses as he raised his voice saying “don’t you look at him asking for help.” I got the taste of the stiff index finger he had been brandishing about. “Look at me and apologize,” he said repeatedly. With all the meager force Angelo could muster, he said sorry. Rafael (or Raf-Raf as I call usually call him) looked at his brother either in dismay or in envy for having such strength to speak. Rafael remained speechless the entire time. Two small basketballs stopped rolling from the other end, the ones they played with to break the two pots.

They were being (poorly) babysat by an unfamiliar teenager. She was the last person to go out. She wiped her still wet hands on the back of her faded red shirt. It resembled the words high school but I couldn’t figure out which one it was. Probably from a city far from here.

Her face was stretched into a shock, she too was stunned at the very same area the kids stood. The screaming went on for another minute and I still haven’t said anything being the first person to witness the scolding. I occupied the second door on the left which is the same side as the man’s. I stood my half a square meter of a veranda almost leaning on the wall avoiding to look comfortable. Beside me walked a tall woman from the house beside me. The daughter of the old landlord. She shook her head slightly, “hello, what’s going on?”

“They broke my pots!” the man said struggling not to stutter. He said the same things in a calmer sort of anger as what he said to the kids before. I asked myself: why do older people talk to each other differently than to kids? The two kids finally moved two steps back with the help of their babysitter. Even the old landlord’s daughter was puzzled when she saw her face.

The situation hushed down but the intensity of the man’s exclaims still lingered in the air. Half of the remaining doors closed, the occupant of the unit in front of me smiled uncomfortably before doing so. I stayed there making myself more comfortable against the wall. The movie inside my living room kept playing through. I wished it would already end when I come back.

Rafael and Angelo were the only kids in this compound. The other apartments housed two more babies from two newlyweds. The kids have no one else to play with at home but each other. The daughter motioned the babysitter that she can already walk the kids in. Usually when they do we can still hear them play except for today. Within the same minute, everyone else has gone in but me. The two adults weren’t even aware I was still standing there. I hoped for any information why the plants were so special.

A few minutes more, the daughter walked my way again, slowed down, smiled, and shook her head. She mustn’t have understood the sentiments of the man why the plants were so special. The babysitter ran out once more to tell the man she will clean the mess herself. The man, already crouching to pick up the lifeless plant, waved his hand, “it’s okay, just go in.”

From the angry man the he was not 15 minutes ago he became the most careful person I have seen. His movements even seemed calculated. Like fixing a bed in the morning. Like a devoted encoffiner. He was suddenly distracted by my presence but continued in what seemed a crucial activity for something he hoped wouldn’t happen. He suddenly spoke as if in monologue.

“I have seen you there since earlier. You haven’t moved much and it’s weird.” He paused but he didn’t want me to answer. “Why you’re there, I’m pretty sure because you’re wondering why I was so angry earlier. I’m not angry anymore, don’t worry. I won’t blare at you. The kids were just having fun and I can’t be angry about that. I might buy the kids some candies later today or a cake. What do you think?” but even in an actual question, it still seemed he didn’t want me to answer. “You know,”

“I’m a botanist. I have been studying science almost my entire life. Even when I was young I especially dreamed of becoming a plant scientist. It’s not just because I think they’re pretty. Or they’re harmless and fragile. I mainly relied on herbal medications growing up. And yes, you guessed it right, at least one of my parents must be a botanist as well.

“I’m pretty sure you haven’t heard of my mother’s name but she’s a pretty big deal in the field of botany. She homeschooled me mainly because she usually went on trips. My father died when I was young so no one else would be there if I didn’t go with my mother on her trips. Funny thing, even in science, a lot of shagging happens. A huge part of my life was spent in hotel rooms and I was used to hearing my mother sneak out although not very carefully.”

Slowly and carefully, he continued fixing the mess. There is now some degree of grace in his movements. I still took his pause as a dramatic punctuation and not a chance for me to speak. I won’t even have any input in the topic he chose to share.

“That’s where I met Sarah. I know, yeah, a very typical name for a daughter of a scientist. There were a lot of tropical plants at that time. And one of them was this plant. It can live a long time if given sufficient care. I wanted to keep it in to be safe but it really needs to be out for air and sun. Sarah and I were the only kids in that seminar so we kinda had no choice but to be with each other. Besides, our parents were good friends and teammates.” He chuckled, I finally sat. “I’m not sure if our parents slept with each other that night, though.

“This is a cycad that my mother’s team crossbred. This one, I tried this on my own after my mother died. I saw Sarah once more during the burial but she couldn’t remember me that well until she extended her condolences. Her father sat in front of her on a wheelchair. She still looked beautiful as then when we were kids. She was the one who threw the same plant into my mother’s grave.” He looked at me and smiled trying to know if I’m still interested in the story. For the first time, I said something: go on.

“All right. This won’t last long anymore, I’m about done fixing this anyway. So yeah, I asked her out and we went out thrice. We weren’t the best pair together but she was the woman of my dreams. Until this happened. I kept this plant alive because it kept the image and the memory of her. More of her than of my mother. She’s been married for 10 years now. My mother died 11 years ago. I don’t even see the point of keeping this plant anymore and I needed a reason to let it go.”

He paused. I didn’t answer. He carried the remnants of what was a lifeless-looking cycad. I sat there and stared at the clouds. I heard shouting in the living room and I realized the movie was still on.

15 tiny lakes found in the crevices of a broken room- handprints on the walls like seafoam, and my eyes running from it. the memories of a swimming pool early in the morning, and being too thirsty to care about the chlorine; like your mouth, on the floor of a dirty ocean and mine moving up and down like the tide. a hand as a pond, and we as the frogs or a lotus or its leaves. your body as a well, and mine being pulled out of it, close to death. here is a river, think of it as an obstacle course. find a place to row, and reach me. find a bridge or build one; i am on the other side, waiting- like a stream waiting to flow into you. here is the sea, and here we are mixing the salt in our feet with the ones in our lungs; it all tastes the same, till it disappears- like a dream. i am here, lonely. broken room, empty bed- a dying island. here you are, an ocean with no purpose or memory; both sinking. 15 lakes found in my belly. 6 for me to drown in. 1 for me to drink. 8 for me to hold, for you. till you find me again.

WATER BODIES // NAPOWRIMO 13/30 [LIT NIGHT * 30 Poetry Prompts for national poetry month 2017- Try repeating images: images of light, of a certain color, the possibilities are endless.]

anonymous asked:

53. "It's lonely here without you." With Pride? ❤

‘Please pick up. Please pick up.’  You prayed over and over as the phone rang. And somebody must have been listening, because Dwayne’s beautiful voice came from the other side of the line. It was enough to make some of the hurt go away. “Hey, honey.” He greeted warmly. “It’s late; why ya callin’?”

You blinked, turning on your side in bed. The starchy hotel sheets were a stark contrast from Dwayne’s soft, warm sheets. “Sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice.” You answered lowly.

Dwayne was quiet for a moment, and you wished he’d just talk. Just so you can hear his voice again. “You homesick, baby?”

The softness of his words pushed out the tears you were forcefully keeping in. And when you sniffled, you knew Dwayne would be able to hear it. “It’s lonely here without you.” Was your response. “I really miss you.”

He let out a low sigh into the phone. “I miss you, too. So much.” Dwayne said. “It’s only two more weeks, okay? I’ll call you everyday. I promise.”

You inhaled, trying to calm yourself down. Crying would be a waste of this precious time. “Okay.” You replied. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Drabbles are closed

Not a perfect relationship ~ Min Yoongi [Smut/Angst]

Group: BTS
Member: Min Yoongi
Type: Smut/Angst
Word Count: 3.334

You look out the window. The sky is tar-black and the large clouds are moving towards you. You hear a tapping noise on the window and then it becomes a pitter-patter. People run for cover outside and umbrellas are opened as the clouds spat out their beds of water.
You nervously fumble with your fingernail, constantly biting onto your lower lip. You turn your head away from the gloomy day, keeping your eyes fixated on the tiles underneath your feet.
“Let’s break up.” You whisper at the ground, feeling your eyes tear up.
“What?” Yoongi asks loudly, the confusion in his voice making you lift up your head. His eyes are widely open, his mouth trembling, his eyes locking with yours.
“Let’s end what we had.” You repeat, the edges of your lips curving into a smile. The last smile you’re able to give to him without feeling your heart break into pieces. “Why?” Yoongi whispers back at you, his voice trembling as he speaks. He takes your hand into his big ones, circling the back of your hand with his thumb. “Why so suddenly?”
You take in a deep breath and shut your eyes to control your emotions from spilling out all at once. The smile on your face hiding the tears in your eyes.
“This relationship isn’t good for any of us, Yoongi. It’s making us sick. You’re living the life you’ve always dreamed of while I’m still trying to find my place in this world.” You answer, gently pulling your hand out of his. Tears start running down your flushed cheeks and you quickly wipe them away before he’s able to notice. “I guess this is goodbye now.” You say to him before turning around and walking through the door, letting your tears run.
“Real feelings don’t just go away!” Yoongi screams after you, his voice had a gloom to it that matches exactly how you feel.
A smile tugs on the edge of your lips by his words, nodding gently before turning around to him and saying the one thing you thought you never had to say to him, “I guess my feelings were never real for you then.”
Your body disappears in the rain, the million tiny droplets soaking your pink jacket. You let out a frustrating sob, running your hand through your hair. You’re frustrated with yourself for letting him go so easily. For not fighting for the only person who could’ve ever made you feel loved. You start missing him more the further away you get from his apartment, the further away you walk from the memory of your relationship. How badly you want to turn around and run into his arms and tell him that you never wanted to leave him, but something inside of you tells you that you can’t, for his sake.
You wipe the tears away with the sleeve of your jacket, kicking a brown leave with your foot. Trees are shedding themselves from the last remains of summer, quickly moving on.
Suddenly you hear footsteps inching closer with a quick pace, almost running in your direction. You stop mid-walk and almost trip when you try to listen to the noise more closely.
A hand slams down on your shoulder from behind; you cry out and spin around to see a soaked Yoongi staring past you. You feel something inside you softening by the thought of him running after you. He’s panting heavily, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.  “Tell me the truth, Y/N.” Yoongi mumbles in-between heavy breathing, not caring that his voice sound harsh.
You bite down on your lower lip, feeling your stomach tighten when his tone becomes huskier. “You have no clue how much I cared,” You start, looking up at him through glistening eyes, the rain hitting your bodies from above. “How much it took in me just to say goodnight sometimes, knowing that you’re on the other side of the world and not where I need you. How much I forced myself to believe that things will be different this time.” Your breath hitches in your throat, feeling the anxiety rise deep inside of you. You look away from him, a lonely tear making its’ way down your cold cheek.
You shake your head, looking at your feet. “They weren’t.” You chuckle at your own words. “But you were the first person I ever loved and I can’t thank you enough.”
“Y/N…” His voice has dropped to a whisper, his face now a full shade paler.
“Let’s not make this hurt more than it has to.” You answer and turn around to leave but he reaches out and squeezes your shoulder, forcing you to turn back to him. Your lips are only a hairs-breadth away from his and you turn away quickly, your heartbeat quickening when you realize how it feels to be hold by him. He lifts up his arm and places his hand underneath your chin, pulling your face towards his. His magnetic stare burns into yours, the bleak look tucked inside his eyes pleads me to understand. To forgive. His jaw is set in a firm line, lips pressed together, cheeks pink from the ice in the air. “I can’t promise you a perfect relationship,” He states softly, his voice coming out as nothing more than a whisper. “but what I can promise you is that it was never my intend to hurt the only girl who holds my heart…”
You cup your palm against the side of his face, your fingers curling into his satin skin. You continue to stare at each other until you can no longer resist his allure and pull his mouth towards yours.

Keep reading

In defense of Reylo, part 2 i guess?

So i wrote a post a couple of days ago, regarding if Reylo is an abusive pairing. And i figured i would write a part 2 since i didn’t write exactly everything i had on my mind and i have received tremendous backlash for it. If there is something i hate in this world it is being misunderstood.So if you want to, go and check out the previous one thats on my blog. But you can definitely read this one independently from the other one. 

Now, if we want to understand the interrogation scene between kylo ren and rey we have to take a look at the characters, we have to understand their thoughts and feelings. I think a lot of people focus on the visual only, and i mean thats understandable its a movie but sometimes the visuals doesn’t give us all of the information we seek. Sometimes if we want to understand a character we have to dig deeper, and luckily novelizations exist. Novelizations give us the opportunity to literally step inside of the minds of our characters. And there is a lot of interesting parts in the novel. 

But before we touch base on all of that i would want to explain one thing thats quite important; How we need to understand Kylo Ren as a person. We need to understand his background, and what really happened to Ben Solo. We need to ask ourselves if Kylo Ren really is evil. 

Ben Solo grew up with a mother and father who both was very absent in his life. Leia always busy with politics and leading the resistance, and Han who always left for extended periods of time without any warning. No wonder he felt lonely, and when Leia saw the frustration in her boy she got worried and sent him away instead; a mistake she admits. When he was sent away to train with luke and the other younglings he felt more isolated then ever. And it was around this time Snoke started to plant thoughts of doubt in the young boys mind. He was manipulated his whole life, he eventually turned to the dark side and  joined the First order. So for me its almost impossible to not sympathize with him. He is a conflicted young man, and the movie makes that very clear. 

I feel like a lot of people see in black and white when it comes to kylo ren’s character, and just in general tbh. You are either good or evil, X or Y. And for many people Kylo Ren is considered to be a irredeamable evil man. I think that the case of kylo ren is much more complicated. I think that kylo ren is a classical example of when a abuse victim becomes the abuser himself. I also believe that a person can’t be evil, i don’t think evil in nature exists. Humans can be cruel, mean, bad and sadistic but not evil. 

But let me touch on the topic of the novel. In the novel we get a whole different view of the interrogation scene. In the novel kylo ren is described as gentle and careful. I want you to remember what i wrote above he has been controlled by snoke his whole life, he is a slave to the first order. So when he is interrogating Rey he is doing his job. And even though he has a personal interest in retrieving the map he never wants to hurt her. He says “I would have preferred to avoid this. Despite what you might think, it gives me no pleasure. I will go as easy as possible but i will take what i need” so kylo does not want to hurt her. But he is eventually forced. 

But i feel like no matter what i say people are still going to trash me so i admit it Kylo Ren and ray are abusive, they abuse each other i mean they are enemies and this is an action movie we are talking about here. They fight each other, kylo probe her to get information and rey slashes his face and leaves him to die on star killer base. They are both abusers and victims. They have both had tough and lonely childhoods, and that is something they both can relate to. And they both know they share these characteristics from when they read each others minds.

I think that when everyone first read my post they misunderstood me and did not understand where i came from since i did not elaborate on the text that much. And I’m quite tired of people who condemn others for the ship that they like, just chill its a fucking movie. So in conclusion i do not ship reylo because i think that the idea of abuse is appealing, i think that the idea of redemption and forgiveness is appealing. I ship it because i genuinely think that Kylo ren and rey could after all of the conflict between them, forgive each other. And thats what i think is beautiful with the ship. I would like to believe that one day reylo won’t be an abusive ship, i would like to believe that they could recognize the similarities they have, find comfort in that and then embrace each other. I think that it would make for a pretty interesting story if the two most unlikely opposing people in the galaxy would fall in love. 

I am going to leave it at this and though i did not write that much about the novel than i originally thought i was going to, i now realize that that does not matter that much. Anti’s are still just going to find issues anyway. But i think i got my final thought out and yeah don’t really know what else to say. 

Thank you! <3 

Been trying to push out more art, but work has been making me really tired, we are short staffed, and im being trained in the meat department (im already trained on the seafood side). Pretty much im gonna be “promoted” from seafood clerk to meat clerk as soon as we find someone to take my spot as seafood clerk. Its basically the same department with same managers, but there is a lot more to do and learn on the meat side, with a higher pay cap and higher chance for fulltime.

I love meat side a lot more and i get so much praise for my work over there and can talk to and work along side others , while in seafood im by myself and kinda lonely.

Once we get our staff lvls back up and im not being flip floped between seafood and meat each day, I can produce more art.

Yes that means more SU art. 😜