it's like everything has changed and yet at the same time nothing has changed

Homestuck Meta Theory

Alright, so I know there’s a lot of people disappointed with the ending, again, I sound like a broken record by this point. And don’t get me wrong- While I love the ending, I would still love to see more of the characters and the story! I just feel it’s a good end as it is. I’ve made a lot of theories about what the End means and everything about Act 7, but all of the things I said, about the Jujus, about becoming freed from Paradox Space, it made me think about the rest of the story, and I believe it has made my entire idea of what Homestuck is change.

So the big question here is, what IS Homestuck? Most people, including me, when talking to someone who knows nothing about it, will speak about the story, the 4 Kids playing SBURB, and the subsequent destruction of Earth. And then mention its huge amount of references towards programming languages, popular culture, storytelling in itself, and it’s self-referential nature. But this Ending has got me thinking that maybe the reason why so many people have been disappointed in the End is because they got Hussie’s intentions wrong.

We tend to reference how the humor and the nature of Homestuck’s narrative is a little extra onto the story, and while it is true the story itself and the characters have drawn a big part of the Fandom, I thought… What if the important part of the Narrative isn’t the Story, but the Meta elements.

As soon as I made connection, everything about the ending began to fall into place. I have commented before that I feel Act 7 is like being shown the Good Ending of a video game without seeing its Neutral Route. 

The Kids have Earth, and Juju Vriska uses manages to flip the ending so that instead of being trapped by Paradox Space’s rules…

They manage to ‘End’ the game properly and get their Happy Ever After.

All while Caliborn is shown getting his power of Immortality, and while we’re left ambiguous about what happens to Vriska and Lord English and everyone in the Dream Bubbles…

Another thing people have complained about is the Character Arcs.

They say how ‘different’ the timeline is. What was the point of Rose’s alcoholism if then Vriska just swats the drink away and it never had any relevance anymore? Terezi’s relationship with Gamzee never happened. Dave and Karkat got together? The Game Over Timeline is bad, everyone agrees that people dying is never good, but they also claim that suddenly having all that Character Development changed made them unable to relate to some characters anymore.

And of course there’s always the mention of how Vriska, even though she’s an abusive 8itch, ended up being somewhat of a heroine, or at the very least not seemingly getting too punished…

That’s where the Narrative itself told us there was something off.

DAVE: rose we dont have fuckin “arcs” we are just human beings

Many have mentioned it, about how not having a closure to certain character arcs referenced this portion, the notion that the characters didn’t have an arc. The same way she then references Jade breaking Endgame ships and such. Rose’s power is Light, and her information source comes from the same place as SBURB and Skaia. It’s a game. Of course she’d have the notion that all of them have to fit certain predisposed stereotypes or their stories have to follow a certain pattern- Rose is looking at their lives since SBURB started as it has been. A Story.

But Dave is having none of it. Dave is beyond the thought that all they do has to follow a set pattern, and claims they don’t have character arcs. This might sound like a clever device by Hussie so he didn’t have to explore more of each of these character’s lives and he could close the comic leaving some loose ends but, there’s more.

Hussie? As an entity? Exists within the story. This would be all fun and dandy if it were a couple of stupid references and memes. And that’s what many people think! Most of his appearances in canon have been a joke, really. But…

Hussie joked about his influence on the comic, when his bot-self was about to mess up with the Kids in the Yellow Yard, but eventually didn’t do it. And yet? His fight with Vriska. His interactions with Caliborn. Everything pictured above? Hussie is a physical entity that follows the same rules as everyone else in Paradox Space and can influence the story. But he’s not a self-insert. He IS the Author. He is the one who wrote every of these characters and continued the story. He’s not another character, he’s himself, in the Homestuck Universe.

And then it began to dawn on me, that perhaps the Meta aspect of Homestuck was a bit more than Fourth-Wall Breaking fun and references to real life stuff. Of course, this train of thought led me to another main plot device that has never exactly been explained to its full extent. Jujus.

There’s the Sucker…

The Crowbar…

The House Juju…

A lollipop that could change character’s personalities, making them immediately make up for aaaall of their mistakes without a care in the world, start alchemizing new weapons, and end up exactly where they needed to be.

A crowbar that can break other of these mysterious devices, and more importantly, has been shown to be able to interact with the Website itself, which seems to be its own physical entity as well!

A house that gave John the ability to change the story, and that ended up being used against the Big Bad of the entire comic.

A puppet that trapped the Souls of various characters and became the gateway for the Big Bad of the comic to become who he is.

A mysterious pair of rings that oh so conveniently appear and disappear on characters, and leave you wondering what they really do, but clearly shown to at least be able to revive someone who, by no other means in the story, would have been able to get back to the world of the living.

Jujus are mysterious, when you look at them from the perspective of the characters. They have no beginning, no end, they just appear at some point and do a loop through time, ending up exactly where they appeared first. They are powerful artifacts able to change reality itself, with no explained origin… But we are no characters. We have seen what these things do on the comic through its entire lengths.

Jujus are plot devices meant to alter the Meta of the comic. They are not things that make sense in a true physical reality. They are artifacts that alter the rules of the plot. Because that’s what the plot is. A story. Because Homestuck is not real, and it acknowledges this.

Or at least… It was supposed to acknowledge this. Many have also claimed that the last updates were so disappointing, compared to Cascade, as Cascade managed to solve so many plot points, but this last one felt empty of everything. Plot. Character Development. That’s where Jujus and Hussie come in.

Hussie dies, in his own comic, a comic that acknowledges him as the actual AUTHOR of the events taking place. And later, we see…

Caliborn, the young version of Lord English, acknowledging Hussie’s death, as he takes the rest of Act 6 and makes it his. Through the use of the Command Prompt, through his own drawings, he begins to write his own story.

[S] Cascade had so many plot points resolved, and these last updates didn’t. Because that is the point. Ever since Act 5 ended and Act 6 started, Hussie has begun to lose control of the story. He was killed by Lord English, the big bad, who also took control of the narrative. Vriska acknowledges a narrator speaking, and forces the narrative to shift back to her opening the Juju chest out of frustration. The command prompts, John’s retcons- At this point, Hussie is no longer in control of his characters.

The Game Over timeline was bad, but it felt like it had more Character Development. That is because it was a not-retconned Timeline. The characters had struggles, the plot moved on forward, some people was possessed, it was all prime material for a conflict and a resolution afterwards! But Aranea’s intervention made it a Doomed Timeline. A Bad End. We all know how Doomed Timelines work, so everything that happens there would have been totally irrelevant. But John didn’t want to accept that. Roxy was still alive, and sad. And Terezi wanted him to fix things up. So instead of acknowledging he was in a Doomed Timeline, like Roxy did? Roxy, who saw her mother-daughter die in her arms, and claimed there might be nothing left for them. And meanwhile, John just managed to get his powers ready, zapped back in time and solved everything.

New problems arose in the new Timeline, sure, but not as many. And a lot of the character arcs were suddenly shoved back. Rose no longer struggles with alcoholism, Karkat doesn’t chase after Terezi, and becomes Matesprits with Dave after mellowing down. Gamzee, one of the biggest dangers, is shoved back by Vriska until he’s barely relevant anymore.

And all of this might just be me trying to find an explanation to the sudden loose ends not being tied. But I think, all of this, was meant to express more than Hussie rolling the story back or changing the story to fit other things. No.

We go back to Dave’s words. We’re real people, we don’t have arcs. We are real people. In a comic, where the author is a character, and that always acknowledges it’s a comic? Dave saying they’re real people is big. It was taken as a joke, because they are characters, come on! Right? … Right?

Well of course they are. But that’s the thing. Up until Act 6, all of the various characters were nothing more than that. And even during the Game Over Timeline, they were nothing more than that. But Hussie’s death, the ghosts, no longer relevant, trying to fight back against Lord English? Caliborn’s acknowledgement of a story and trying to take control of it? And finally, John’s powers.

The House Juju gave John something more important than being able to change the Timeline.

The ability to make Selfcest canon.

Wait no- That wasn’t it.

The ability to alter the plot to his own whims.

John’s zapping doesn’t follow the rules of Paradox Space. It allows him to change the timeline as he wishes and it still be the Alpha. Not only that, but he can also warp out of the story itself, sending people and things to the background of the website.

It’s when Vriska starts to try and find this Juju that everything about the narrative begins to shift gears. John now can change the plot. Which means he is not adhering to the rules that bound them all anymore. He can go back, bring people who were dead back to life, save his friends, and aid them get a better ending.

And in this new timeline he’s changed? Everyone seems a bit different. They have gone through different things, and are as confused as anyone else about what is going on. This is the moment where these characters stop being characters.

This isn’t a story about Four Kids playing a Game, getting involved in Shenanigans and trying to live a happy ever after as villains try to plot on destroying them and reality. Homestuck is the tale of the characters from a webcomic, becoming self-aware, and escaping the grasp of the author and the narrative.

I don’t know if this is what Hussie intended, and if it is, at what point he planned to start leading the story this way. I might just be crazy and be reading too much into this? But as I see it? It closes every single loophole in this story.

Doomed Timelines are meant to be nothing. They are meant to fade, and not be relevant anymore. But the ghosts are having none of this. They WANT to be relevant in this story again. They create an army, and head off to defeat the biggest threat in the entire comic.

Caliborn knows reality itself isn’t as it seems, and tries to make his own story within it. He strives to become almighty, and then begins to destroy and rend reality itself so he can make way for his own rule.

Vriska knows she’s in a story, having interacted with the very Author and the command prompt! But she is not trying to change the story- All the opposite. Vriska follows the rules of the story, closes loopholes from what she has seen, but tries to be the one who causes everything. She wants to be in the spotlight of this tale. She creates Bec Noir just because she had seen it in her screen. And knowing this is a story, she goes off of her way to find methods to defeat each of these villains, at any cost. Because in a story, once she defeats these big, powerful foes, she’ll be a heroine, and everyone will regard her so highly, she’ll be over everyone else. Just like she wants.

John? I don’t think he knows he’s in a story. But he has the power to alter it. And after he begins to mess with the timeline, the rules of Paradox Space begin to shatter around him and his friends. Time loops, Rules, Plot, why would they care about how a story goes, if it’s not a story, it’s their lives. They just want to be happy and get away from this cycle of destruction and death.

I’d even go as far as to say God Tier Calliope knows this. If her Land and her Earth were anything like Caliborn’s, she might also been in contact with the command prompt. Perhaps the fact her entire mission was a self-sacrifice to collapse the Green Sun represented how she, too, saw Paradox Space as what it was- A construct that kept these characters trapped as that. Characters. And the only way to escape its grasp was the erase its very existence, using Lord English’s destruction to tear a hole through the comic, and destroy it.

In this way, everything that happens towards the ending makes perfect sense. There are hundreds, thousands, who knows how many timelines, in which every plot hole will be closed. But we’re not following these. It would be easy to cause, say, the Condesce to wake up. Because of her immortality curse given by Lord English. Or the Draconian Dignitary get to the Frog Lily Pad. Something happens, interrupts the kids from entering to the new Session, and bam! Suddenly more plot! Their entrance to the Universe is blocked. Terezi worries about Vriska, so they begin to plot a way to help her defeat Lord English. The black hole in the Session that likely leads to Caliborn’s land becomes relevant, and they all have a trip to beat up Caliborn. Something happens to Calliope, her ring has ended up in Caliborn’s hands as well, he traps the kids, the Alphas beat him up, all loops are closed, we have a bittersweet, predictable ending. And this has happened. In many timelines before. Over, and over. Perhaps the one we’re following isn’t even the Alpha, for that very reason.

But it doesn’t matter. I talked about how the Jujus were a way to alter the plot, and let’s go back to this, and look at my theory about the Kids Souls being Trapped for all eternity in this Juju. The moment Caliborn uses this Juju, he kickstarts the entirety of the rules of Paradox Space. These kids we follow through the story, are trapped in a plot, with rules dictated by narrative that they HAVE to adhere too.

Then the ghosts decide that this is bullshit, and that they, even after death, want to still be relevant. Instigated by Vriska and Meenah, and aided by Aranea’s mind control, they manage to find a way they can alter the plot once again, a Juju. John touches this Juju, and suddenly he gains the power to alter this plot as well, and begins his and his friend’s journey to escape the clutches of Paradox Space and the comic itself.

John was trapped in the house all along. So of course, shoving his arm through it? He managed to grasp at the other side. He got a taste of what it was to be free. And he gained the power of changing the plot as a result.

Then, Vriska becomes alive again. She’s relevant, and bashes down on her ghost self. Ghost self that had at one point tried to make herself relevant, even though since she’s dead she shouldn’t be. This way, Vriska proves that, while she acknowledges the story as a story, and wants to be always present and in the middle, she never sees it as something she has to escape. She has no character development, because now, in this timeline that John has changed, she’s free to do whatever she wants, she’s her own person without a character arc, but doesn’t find the need to become said person. She doesn’t want to change, she wants to keep following the plot, and take down the big bad.

So Vriska takes the house Juju from her alternate self, goes against Lord English, beats up the Author of the comic itself as a last Fuck You, and then uses the Juju towards him. And this is when Alive Vriska makes her big mistake. By following this plot, this story, the Juju house crashes behind her…

She’s on Lord English’s side of the house. Because both of them know the comic is just that, a story. He knows about the narrative, and the author. So he kills the author, and becomes the big evil that must be defeated. Meanwhile, Vriska knows about the narrative, and the author, so she beats up the author and tries to become the heroine.

Caliborn and Vriska could very well strive to break free of Paradox Space in other ways, but instead they do what they do best- Be themselves, and fuck shit up in the process. And it’s this mentality that in the end, as the House Juju appears, tells us that both of them have been doomed. Doomed to be trapped in this Collapsing Paradox Space there’s no escape from.

Except there is an escape.

Because the door opens. It opens for the Kids and Trolls on the lily pad. And it opens for the Ghost Army and everyone else in the Bubbles. These are people that have been living aside from the story for a long time. The ones that are alive in the Session have had John change everything and the events happening after make them question Paradox Space itself. And the dead ones or the ones just stuck in the Furthest Ring? They fear being forgotten. They fear being erased by the collapsing Paradox Space, and had faced Lord English to try and become relevant once more.

Of course Condy’s curse didn’t wake her up. Of course DD didn’t appear. The moment the Juju appears, the story is done. There is no more plot. Because it’s not a story. The ones wanting to follow the plot are now seeing it crumble, seeing everything end. And the ones that wanted to become relevant against Paradox Space- Why would they need to even follow the rules? They are trying to escape them.

The Plot Holes are part of the plot in itself. John and everyone else didn’t need to fill it up. Because they are not part of the story anymore. We didn’t see their character arcs close. Because they are not characters anymore. They are not characters anymore. They don’t need to show us they have grown- Or maybe they haven’t even grown. They are always growing, learning. But now, they have escaped this evil Universe that trapped them and forced into cruel and crueler situations. They have escaped to a peaceful realm. They don’t need to keep following the story. They are happy and free to live their lives however they want.

They are finally happy.

why zuko had to screw up at ba sing se

[ or: all hail cognitive-dissonance-lord zuko ]

When I watched Avatar for the first time, I did it totally out of order. The first episode I saw was Cave of Two Lovers, I watched the finale before Western Air Temple, and the first episode was one of the last I saw. I was mostly at the mercy of the whims of Nickelodeon’s Saturday morning marathons.

So I knew from almost the beginning that Zuko (spoiler alert) was going to grow his hair out and switch sides, and I knew it happened mid book 3. Watching Crossroads of Destiny, then, was a totally different experience. When Azula gave him the ultimatum, I knew which side he’d choose, and I was so frustrated and angry. I wanted Zuko to be good already, dammit. After all of the development and the “metamorphosis” he’d gone through only a few episodes ago, I was convinced that his mistake in CoD was in there purely for shock value (and for me, knowing how it ended, I didn’t even get to experience that) and to draw out the angst. I was bitter because I felt cheated out of a half season’s worth of Redeemed!Zuko hanging out with the gaang. (It’s also worth mentioning that I was like 12.)

But now I know I was completely wrong. Whenever I try to think about what would have happened with the rest of the series if Zuko had sided with Aang instead of Azula, it just doesn’t work. Zuko needed to make that mistake in the crystal catacombs, and I can’t imagine his story without it.

Zuko developed a lot as a character through his travels in the Earth Kingdom up until his moment of truth under Ba Sing Se. He was rejected by his father, who sent Azula to imprison him and put out wanted posters that permitted anyone to kill him on site. He experienced true poverty and saw first-hand the horrible effects of the Fire Nation’s war. He’s been on his own. And, at last, he even gave up his search for the Avatar for a little while– not because realized it was wrong, but because realized it was hopeless.

But let’s think for a minute about what it would have meant for Zuko to side with the Avatar and fight Azula in Ba Sing Se. It would have made him a traitor. To side with Aang would be not only to acknowledge that the war was unjust and the fire nation the oppressor, but it would also be to actively fight against his own nation. And, implicitly, it would mean acknowledging the truth that his father did not and would never want him back. Zuko, at the end of Book 2, has had many experiences that point directly to these truths and in light of them, Zuko siding with the Avatar doesn’t seem that far-fetched. In fact, it was what a lot of people watching for the first time expected.

Here’s the catch: even though Zuko had had all of these experiences, he hadn’t yet processed them and fit them all together to form their logical conclusions. Sure, he knew the horrors the Fire Nation had committed in its war for prosperity, but he still wouldn’t have denounced his nation ; he knew that his father had declared him a traitor and sent Azula to lock him up, but he wouldn’t have admitted at that point that his father would never love or accept him and preferred him dead. Zuko pre-redemption is the king of cognitive dissonance. He has a lot at stake with the processing of all of these experiences—basically, his entire world-view. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that trying to reconcile what he saw in the Earth Kingdom with his current world-view could easily bring everything he knew and considered sacred crashing down around him. And there was one thing in particular that Zuko would protect at all costs; one truth that has been at the center of his world and forefront of his mind ever since his banishment — that he had a home to return to and there was a place for him within it, that if he just didn’t screw up for once everything would be okay again. This is the one thing Zuko clings to throughout his entire banishment, despite all the evidence and logic to the contrary, because if this one truth falls away what does he have left?

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Best friend

MASTERLIST

-Luke Hemmings smut-

Word count: 1,300

“Have you told her yet?” Calum questioned Luke. “No Cal, I can’t jeopardise our friendship like that. No one understands me like Y/N and I can’t lose her. Ever.” Luke replied and the other boys just groaned and sighed in disappointment. Luke has been in love with you since 2 years now and he doesn’t seem to have the courage to tell you. Every time he met you his heart would do backflips and he would be unable to ruin the perfect moments he has with you by confessing his feelings. He was in a constant battle. His brain against his heart. None of the other boys would understand his decision.

“Guys, she’s on her way over here. Please don’t say anything” Luke said. “Don’t worry, we never do” Michael says exasperated. “Mate, you should just tell her, I’m pretty sure she feels the same way.” Ashton says. Luke always respected everything that Ashton said, him being the oldest after all. They continued to talk about some random things and you entered Luke’s apartment. They didn’t even seem to notice your presence, so you took that time to really admire Luke. He was tall, fit and had eyes that you could lose yourself in. Everyday you would wonder how you got so lucky to be best friends with him.

Being best friends with him had its pros and cons. A con being that you couldn’t help falling utterly and completely in love with him and a pro being you get to spend all day with him and nights too. This was one of those lucky days. You would be spending the night at your best friends apartment. You got a little carried away and you didn’t notice when Calum called out your name. “Y/N, are you alive?” you shook your head and broke your gaze away from Luke. “Huh?” you asked, completely confused and unaware about what was happening. The boys just laughed knowingly and Luke blushed.

Luke came up to you and hugged you tight. “Hi, Y/N I missed you so much” “I missed you too, Lukey” you replied and buried your face in his chest. “I think we’ll be leaving now” Ashton called out and you turned to face him and the other boys. It was getting pretty late and you figured they would be leaving soon. They piled out of the apartment, one after the other leaving you and Luke standing awkwardly. “So, what do you want to do?” Luke questioned and you just shrugged your shoulders, grabbing the box of pop tarts that were lying on a table. You walked over and lay down on his couch, making yourself at home. He walked over to you and sat down on your stomach. “Luke you’re crushing me” you squeaked out. “I’m not that fat” Luke retorted and changed his position so he was lying next to you, instead of on top of you.

“It’s so fucking hot Y/N, do you mind if I change into something more comfortable.” Luke asked you and you nodded eagerly, knowing his ‘something comfortable’ meant boxers and nothing else. He changed and came back and you couldn’t help but blush. It obviously wasn’t the first time you saw him without a shirt, but he was just perfect. His toned body always made you excited, in more than one way. He returned to his position next to you, not before turning on the TV and watching Shark Tank. You moved slightly, so you were half on top of him. Your head was on his chest and you could hear his heart beat and you let out a sigh. Unknowingly, you started tracing shapes on his chest. He was in bliss and so were you.

You slowly placed a small kiss on his chest, not being able to control yourself. When you gained no response from your best friend you moved your head up and started placing small kisses on his jaw and collarbones. He let out a groan and his eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the sensation of your lips on him. “Y/N, don’t stop” he said quietly and he held you by the waist and pulled you upwards so you were lying completely on top of him. Having a better angle, you started peppering his face with kisses. Kissing every spot, except his lips. Your lips brushed his a couple of times and you held yourself back from crashing your lips on his. “Luke, I really want to kiss you right now” you said softly. A small part of you was afraid of his reaction but that didn’t last very long as Luke captured your lips and his and they moved in sync. Luke was on top of the world and you were in heaven. A few seconds later, he pulled away to take a breath and rested his forehead against yours.

“I know this isn’t the perfect time to say this, but I don’t think the perfect time will ever come. So, Y/N I just wanted you to know that I love you and I have for a long time now.” Luke said and you kissed him again and he deepened the kiss by putting his tongue in your mouth. You moaned loudly when his hand went up your t-shirt and gave your bra-clad breast a hard squeeze. He tugged at the bottom of it and you got the signal and took it off. Without wasting anymore time, your hand went behind your back and you unclasped your bra. Luke stared at your breasts hungrily and took one nipple into his mouth, sucking harshly. He moved to the other one, giving it equal attention. He flipped you over so that he was on top of you now. He began moving downward to the place you ached for him.

In one swift move he took of your pants. He grabbed the hem of your panties in his teeth and released it so it whipped back on to your skin. You were heavily aroused and you couldn’t wait any longer. “Luke, please” you moaned out. He slid your panties off, slowly and teasingly and started kissing in your inner thighs. He blew on your clit making you shiver in anticipation. He ran one finger up your slit gathering the wetness and he put his finger in his mouth. “Baby girl, you taste so good” Luke said before coming back up to kiss you. He quickly got rid of his boxers and that was the only piece of material separating the two of you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him to enter you. He got the hint and pushed into you slowly. Profanities left your mouth as it was hard for you to adjust to his size, pun intended. He reached deep inside you and he let out a groan. “Fuck, Y/N you’re so tight” Luke said and started thrusting into you harder and faster. He lifted your leg upwards, to get a different angle and he hit that spot, which made you go weak.You moaned his name as he continually hit the spot. “Luke I’m so close” you told him when you felt that familiar tightening of the stomach. He took your lips in his in a sloppy kiss as you released your juices around him. With a few more thrusts, he came inside you and he rode out his high.

He laid on top of you with his face in your neck. “Y/N, I really fucking love you.” “I love you too, Luke” you told him truthfully and he kissed you on your forehead. “Round 2 in the shower?” you questioned him and he laughed loudly while agreeing.

A/N: I live for best friend smuts.

Originally posted by theworldaway

Light

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Request: “could you please do 42 and 45 with jughead x reader? thanks !!” and
“Hi!!! I really love your blog! I was wondering if you could do a Jughead one with #45 and 50, please? ❤️”

Prompt: 
#42 “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”
#45 “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
#50 “If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”

Everything Tag List: @betty-coopers-number-one-stan@1amluke, @pissheadofficial, @teen-river-wolf, @itsjaynebird, @nooneshoney, @carouselof-progress, @apocalypticangell, @welc0met0thedarkside, @sparklingriverdale, @gryffndor, @jugheads-lawyer, @jugheadjns
Jughead x Reader Tag List: @keepcalmandflywithtoothless, @lostinpercyseyes, @captainsuperfangirl, @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked@xbobaaa, @theselfishllama

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Favorite Tomione Stories

Complete

Ultima ratio by Winterblume
Ultima ratio - the last resort. At last the day of the Final Battle against Lord Voldemort has come. Harry, Ron and Hermione fight bravely against their nemesis - but then something goes wrong. And Hermione finds herself alone in a precarious situation.

Somewhere in Time by Serpent In Red
Sent back in time by a mysterious person and trapped in the past with a missing Dumbledore and an overbearing, charismatic Dark Lord, they had no idea how much they could dabble with before the world they had known shattered into pieces.

Tied for Last By: Speechwriter
Hermione is killed by Voldemort, and is now dead. Well, sort of. Turns out that death is a little more complex than she knew… Ignores epilogue and last 50ish pages of DH.

Nightmare by provocative envy
COMPLETE: A broken time turner shouldn’t have sent me back so far. It was unprecedented. Stepping on it-smashing it-nothing should have happened. At most, I should have lost a week. At worst, I should have disappeared altogether. I shouldn’t have traveled back fifty-two years; half a bloody century. This should not have happened. HG/TR.

Masters of Manipulation by Nerys
A true manipulator will control the universe, but who will achieve the wanted mastership? Hermione suddenly finds herself opposing Tom Riddle in a quest for knowledge banned by the founders of Hogwarts. Can she stop the heir before he becomes invincible?

Shared Flame by Lady Miya 
It all started when two normally clever individuals both had a really lousy day. 

Have You Ever by Lady Moonglow
With the war looking bleak, the Golden Trio, Ginny, Draco, and Lavender go back to Tom Riddle’s 7th Year to destroy Lord Voldemort once and for all. What Hermione DIDN’T count on, however, is a shared common room, a curse, and a crazy little thing called love.

Daddy Dearest by ImmortalObsession
Lady Hermione isn’t quite right in the head. Her kingdom resides in a manor full-of-monsters. She has regular conversations with the Devil and fancies a dark knight who wants to kill her in her sleep. If not for the wonderful library, she might have lost her wits completely by now. Instead, she passes the time with music lessons and plots of murder.

The Hogwarts Christmas by OrbNerysDax
Christmas is a time of peace and joy, and most of all, presents. Do Tom and Hermione get what they want or what they need?

Romantic Idealism by Meowmers
She falls in love with him when she’s 12, but by the time she’s 17 she wants him dead. For Tom Riddle, its vice versa. Tomione. AU. M for a reason.

A Big Ball of Wibbly-Wobbly by Colubrina
The war is over, the good guys have won, and Hermione Granger goes to sleep in her lovely flat only to wake up in 1953 in the bed of someone she’d really much rather were dead. “I’m working on the ‘kill Lord Voldemort now, work out the temporal paradox issues later’ plan,” she tells him. He laughs. Tomione. 

Linen Rope by Brightki
Hermione is an upper sixth student at the highly elite Hogwarts School, and she needs extra hours working in the school’s science labs for her pre-admission to Oxford the next year. However, she has to get the approval from the chemistry teacher, Dr. Snape, as well as the support of the man in charge of the science department - Dr. Tom Riddle. (Non-Magical/Modern AU)

War Paint by provocative envy 
COMPLETE: It was small, slim, about the length of her hand; the leather cover was soft, the sewn-in binding was crisp, and the thick vellum pages were empty. 'Tom Marvolo Riddle’ was printed in ancient, flaking gold leaf across the front. He had been a Slytherin, a prefect, and head boy in 1944. She had checked. HG/TR. 

A Nose That Can See by Colubrina
Hermione Granger has found herself inexplicably tossed back into time to Tom Riddle’s Hogwarts. And he’s a Veela and, wouldn’t you know it, she’s his mate. Could life get worse? But he seems to have an endless supply of out-of-season fruit so it can’t be all bad, right? Tomione. Major character death, musical theater, and all that fruit. COMPLETE.

Allure by Meowmers
“Granger,” He seethed, as if he had any right to be angry while he was covered in blood on her doorstep. “Invite me inside.” Her nails dug into the polished wood of the door and she contemplated slamming it in his face. “Absolutely not.” Modern Vampire AU. Tomione. Also a splash of Drarry because I needed that in my life rn.

WIPs

Please, Save Me by Winterblume
AU Tomione. No time travel no time turners. - 'Are you not scared of him? Tom Riddle has got a rather peculiar reputation. But I’m sure it’s all stupid talk. He’s Head Boy after all.’ - 'What kind of a reputation’ - 'Er… he's… well, he seems kinda dark.’

A Fall Through Time by Ariel Riddle
A/U Tomione In a future dystopian society, Muggles are enslaved to their Pureblood masters who greedily drain the earth of its resources resulting in humans being on the brink of extinction. Muggleborns are hunted. Hermione must do what she does best-survive and adapt. Until that is, she is given an opportunity to go back to when it all started and rewrite history.

Bodyswitch by Winterblume
Hermione’s in hell and all her nightmares have come true. She’s turned into a brainless bimbo and is failing all her classes quite spectacularly. Her teachers have, in fact, already given up on her and just sit back and watch her flunk all her NEWTs. Yes, it’s nothing but hell for Hermione. On the upside, things can hardly get any worse. Right?

unsphere the stars by cocoartist
When you can’t change time, but you can’t go forward, what is left? Hermione learns how to be the protagonist of her own story. [EWE]

Stepbrother by cherry cup 
AU. The Grangers adopt a young Tom Riddle, and seal their daughter’s fate forever. Set in the 30s-40s. 

Murderer’s Maze by ibuzoo
A new killer causes a worldwide media sensation by committing crimes so depraved, that they’re creating a global panic. Only Special Agent and Consulter Hermione Granger can stop the killer—if she can solve his most complex and terrifying puzzle. Will she see through his game before her time runs out? Or will she lose herself in his maze of terror?

The Prisoner by Nerys
Imprisoned, Lord Voldemort is considered a threat of the past. His knowledge is desired by many. Yet, his offer is for one person only: Hermione Weasley-Granger.

Persephone by dulce.de.leche.go
Better to be the right hand of the devil than in his path. Better still to be the consort of Hades than a part of his collection of souls. Ten years after Voldemort has won the war, Hermione reaches a breaking point and shreds the flow of time to change her future. If she can’t change the world, she will change her place in it. - Extremely dark Tomione/Volmione. Warnings inside.

Bound by Sharkdiver1980 
When Hermione is sent back in time to 1947 after attempting to destroy a Horcrux, she finds herself forcefully subjected to a new law, Proclamation no.1682, otherwise known “The Marriage Law”. it had obviously been repealed almost as quickly as it was instated, which is why she had never heard of it; The problem was, she had already been assigned a husband. 

Unsinkable by Speechwriter
He: a young man long since raised from poverty, now on the verge of inheriting a magnate’s business in the 1910s. She: an impoverished young woman on her way to start a new life in America. In short: Tom Marvolo Riddle, Hermione Jean Granger, and one voyage on the RMS Titanic - and how it would change their lives forever.

Hermione’s Diary by Radiant Innocence
What would happen if Ginny Weasley had never had Tom Riddle’s diary? What if the Horcrux still existed, and was found by Hermione? What happens when the Dark Lord becomes intrigued by Hermione, and pulls her into his past? Read and Review!

School Days by Meowmers 
They meet on the playground. Ron told her that if she doesn’t fight for herself no one will ever leave her alone so she’s just trying to follow his advice. “Are you crying?” He asks. She musters all the fury in her 7-year-old body and channels it into her voice when she speaks through the tears. “So what? I’ll still kick your arse.” Tomione. AU. Rated M for future chapters. 

Oneshots

Professor Riddle by jadepresley
“When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love” - Horace Slughorn

The Black Veil by NerysDax 
Samhain: When the veil’s at its thinnest, the impossible will occur. Up is down, down is up. Everything can be achieved by those the Goddess values. COMPLETE

The Darkness Sings to Her by Ariel Riddle
From beneath the cover of the water, or from behind a rock a ways from the shore, she would find herself lurking behind the waves and sneaking surreptitious glances whenever she could. AU Dark Fairytale with a Tomione twist. Oneshot.

Youth in Retrospect by provocative envy
ONE-SHOT: She’s buying a box of condoms when she meets him. HG/TR.

Quid nove sub sole by LeanaM
“They say history repeats itself, but that is not entirely true. History isn’t circular, it is more like a spiral. Similar events may take place over time, but they are never exactly the same. Sometimes they are smaller. Sometimes they are bigger. Sometimes they start the same, but the result is completely different.” Historical AU. Dark. Tomione/Gin'n'Tonic. One-shot.

A Lovely Night by Meowmers
“Please don’t ask me to dance,” She said, her fingers fluttering across her skirts, “Societal expectations dictate I must, I’m afraid,” He said, and there was something so familiar in the feel of her hand, in the warmth her eyes sent him. CINDERELLA AU THAT LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED FOR BUT I MADE BECAUSE I AM LITERAL TRASH ENJOY 

Master of Mort by PierreJ
A place for multiple pairings, romantic one-shot/stories and love with just a splash of angst. Come on, this is me.

Playing Cupid by Meowmers
“I’m beginning to think that I would love to hear you scream.” Tomione. Regency AU. Rated-M.

-art cred @ariel-riddle (I just played with it)

“I’d like to repeat the advice that I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.

If you want to get more out of life, Ron, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty. And so, Ron, in short, get out of Salton City and hit the Road. I guarantee you will be very glad you did. But I fear that you will ignore my advice. You think that I am stubborn, but you are even more stubborn than me. You had a wonderful chance on your drive back to see one of the greatest sights on earth, the Grand Canyon, something every American should see at least once in his life. But for some reason incomprehensible to me you wanted nothing but to bolt for home as quickly as possible, right back to the same situation which you see day after day after day. I fear you will follow this same inclination in the future and thus fail to discover all the wonderful things that God has placed around us to discover.

Don’t settle down and sit in one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon. You are still going to live a long time, Ron, and it would be a shame if you did not take the opportunity to revolutionize your life and move into an entirely new realm of experience.

You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.

My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.”

—  Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

I know this is technically a day late, but let’s pretend I totally posted this yesterday… 

Neil starts outlining a plan in his head as he ducks between students and buildings. Group projects are the bane of his existence, but he has to do them if he wants to pass, and he has to pass if he wants to be eligible to keep playing Exy. At least this time Joseph Peters isn’t in his group, but he still prefers individual assignments. The faster he gets his five slides done, the less he has to interact with the group.

Neil cuts across the Green because it’s faster, but he has to weave through a sea of bodies. The warmer weather of spring has drawn out many students from their hoards in the library. From sunbathers to studiers, the grass is now marred by waves and waves of bright colors and tanned skin. The combination of laughter and the singing of nearby birds tangle together in the air like a tangible cacophony, and the rays of the sun lick down along the ground, creating a blissful atmosphere.

Neil sidesteps around a group of sorority girls and ducks to avoid getting in the middle of an ultimate frisbee game. By the time he makes it Perimeter Road, the crowds have thinned out, and it’s easy to cross the road and head up towards Fox Tower.

His dorm is dark when Neil unlocks the door. For some reason all of the lights have been turned off, and it instantly strikes Neil as odd. He knows he can double check the schedule taped to the fridge, but he distinctly remembers Nicky’s class getting out earlier than his. Even stranger still is the fact that someone has blocked out the windows, so only a few straggling bands of light seep in. The stark darkness puts Neil on edge, settling deep in his chest and making waves of anxiety begin to churn. He knows it’s been three years, that there’s no need to run anymore, but that doesn’t stop the disquiet in his bones or ease the itch now sparking in his muscles. He’s considering heading up to the roof and texting Andrew when the lights flick on.

“Surprise!”

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anonymous asked:

Leela! This was my favorite live show! This one really felt so warm and cozy and he looked so happy and soft and was talking to us like a friend with how he was talking about his feelings and mental health and just trying to explain things without giving too much away and ahh I love Daniel Howell so much! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

where to begin y’all. everything that you said and more–this live show was just so great. it wasn’t one of the ones that maybe necessarily gave us tons of new insight into dan or phil or their lives, but it was so good because dan is so clearly doing okay right now. he’s happy. it’s radiating off of him. maybe part of it is the stark contrast to how he was in live shows during feb/march, maybe part of it is our own confirmation bias and our desire to connect this dan—live and taking time out of his evening to speak with us—to all of the big changes we’ve been seeing from him,,, but regardless, in an absolute sense, dan is definitely happy and that is probably the fundamental reason why this live show felt so lovely. 

i went back to read some of my notes on his last few live shows before writing this one and it was surreal to see how many of my comments were about how negative he was being. he inserted a joke about wanting death or being an ugly rat or failing at most things in life so frequently. he constantly berated his own approaches to various things in his life and alluded to struggling with a lot of his own internal thoughts. in contrast, this live show contained a grand total of zero comments regarding death. zero comments about being ugly or terrible. he of course noted flaws in his approach to youtube and things of that nature, but he didn’t really criticize himself for them, and instead pinned them back to his own mental health and the way his personality works and offered up constructive ways that he’s thinking about dealing with all of it. it was like watching,, not a different person, but a strangely calmer person—someone who has clearly spent some time reflecting on these things and has gotten himself to a better and calmer headspace. 

the best part about the happiness in this liveshow for me is that it wasn’t really communicated through words (he never actually said that he’s really happy or excited or anything like that.) and it wasn’t like he totally avoided talking about his fears or his flaws in a way that would actually be disingenuous. it was all a bit more subtle and (to use his own refrain) ~authentic~ than that. it was there in the way he couldn’t get through so many sentences without breaking into a laugh or a big smile. it was there in the way he talked about the audience—a bit gushy at times, but mostly fond and appreciative. genuinely. it was there, of course, in the little asides he shared about phil and about their plans for the future. it’s fun to think about what may have helped this shift along. maybe it was time away in singapore, taking a step back to reflect on how far they’ve come and how much they’ve achieved and how very bright their future looks regardless of its specifics, or maybe it’s because the hard things he’d been dreading (like moving on some level bc it’s stressful, and also the ‘rebrand’) are now over and done with and he can just settle in the aftermath. and all of this sort of fits with what we know of the person that dan has been basically forever. he’s someone who spirals and even anguishes in the stretches of time before a decision is made. he doubts himself and he fears being scrutinized or judged. he’s afraid of what people will say but at the same time wants to be above all of it and make decisions that reflect what he really wants. it’s clear that the last couple of months, just from what we know and what he’s told us, have been filled with these sort of troubling internal struggles, but dan has also always been the person that appears to find solace and fulfillment in the certainty of a decision being made. he seems to be much more at ease once he has figured out the right way to proceed and actually executed it, because even if the decision backfires or goes wrong, he’s okay defending it, he’s okay because he knows he thought it through and did what felt best to him and whatever comes from it is of secondary importance. sticking to a choice you’ve made, or believing in that choice, is a lot easier than a belabored process of weighing between options and thinking about how each option reflects on who you are as a person. all of this to say. i’m glad that for the time being things seemed to have calmed down, and he’s happy. i’m glad he wants to share so much of that with us. i thought i’d go through some specific insights by general topic area, under a cut for once bc in actuality this is the longest thing i’ve ever written about them it’s obnoxious~~

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prongsno  asked:

okay rhiannon i can't choose one so here and you can choose which inspires you c: 20, 49, 51, 54, 58 & 60 <333 ((because i can never make my mind up! choose whichever hehe))

‘marble hearts collide’

#58 “I was going to kiss him, but then my friend texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.”

Thank you Grace! I chose this one because I had an idea for it as soon as I read it and so… that’s what this is <3 I might make this a thing ?? like a series

modern + muggle au

“I was going to kiss him, but then Gemma texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.” Lily’s telling him this, aware that she sounds loopy, and she can’t help the blush on her cheeks but she’s also had a few glasses of wine, a few really meaning five, and really, it needs to be said. “So, anyway, I’m standing in front of this cashier guy and he really, really is cute. Like, textbook, chick flick, cute. Probably has a good shot at a career on Instagram. And he asks me what I want. And you know what I don’t want?” She pauses, doesn’t give him time to answer, takes another sip of the drink in her hand, drink meaning gin and tonic, and continues, “Him! I don’t want him! So, now I’ve bailed on my date to ask another guy out on a date and I go to ask this guy and I realise I don’t want to go on a date with him! He has to use a calculator to work out my change. I only paid with a fiver!” She throws her hands up and almost sends her glass flying and Sirius takes that as his cue to intervene. 

“Hey, Evans,” he says, stilling her hand, “breathing is a vital part of staying alive.”

She looks at him with wide eyes, wide eyes meaning eyes that can’t focus on one thing. “I’m breathing.”

“Good to know.” He slips her legs off his lap and stands, cracking his neck, before snatching her glass from her hand. He downs it before she can protest and just grins at her pout. “Everything in moderation.”

“Including sobriety.” Surprisingly, drink never seems to hinder Lily’s vocabulary. It just makes her sound like a character out of an American coming-of-age film. 

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Remember how I said I wrote an essay breaking down Tendou's character? Well here it is

So let’s talk about Tendou Satori. When he was first introduced, he was automatically deemed as a villain. Although, as the season commenced, bits and pieces of his back story were unveiled, revealing as to why he could be seen as malicious. Many people still portray him as such, although, he’s far from it. Tendou Satori is broken. He’s been hurt all his life up until high school. Tendou Satori is broken, but he’s brave, he’s shattered but he’s strong. Tendou Satori is arguably the most complex, enigmatic character in the whole show, and it’s about time someone cracked the enigma.

When Tendou Satori was in elementary school, presumably when he was nine or ten, he was bullied. Before the scene begins, you get a little visual of young Tendou. The audience can already infer what kind of child he was. Naturally, he’s awkward. He’s gangly, has wide eyes and a tired face, a bowl cut, and undeniably looks a little bit like a horror movie child, but you can’t help but love him, because any sensible person knows what this child is going through, if your first thoughts of him were negative. Riddle me this, how do you expect a nine year old child to react to someone more powerful than him referring to him as a monster? How do you expect a mere child to handle years of torment, years of being cast out of doing something he loves because of who he is? He breaks. This torment was the first shatter in Tendou’s heart, and by far, the largest fracture. Of course, it isn’t implied, not much is implied besides the fact that he is bullied, but we can infer that Tendou took this bullying rough. You can expect tears, and tantrums and trauma. To many, being cast out and bullied away from a sport or hobby would overall make said person hate said activity, but Tendou didn’t quite give up. It isn’t shown, but somehow, Tendou got his way into playing a match against his bullies and presumably, he won. Can you imagine Tendou Satori, the nine year old boy who has been bullied for so long, finally feeling a sliver of power? He knows the pain these people have put him through. The tears, the deprecation. The nine year old boy who was learning to hate himself far before he should ever start feeling any insecurity. To finally, finally see the slightest bit of pain in the tormentor’s eyes was enough to make up for all the pain that dwelled in his. He was happy, of course, who wouldn’t be? In that moment he knew what these kids would do, only because he’s done it so many times himself. They would go home, upset. They’d drop their bookbags by the door then storm to their bedroom and cry. They’d cry out the frustration, the embarrassment, the welled up hate. For Tendou, imagining other people finally experiencing relative torment was better than any apology. This is the first turning point in Tendou’s personality, that Guess Block of his. Tendou got a feeling of pride after this, and of course, naturally, he was going to hold onto the only thing that made him feel powerful. The Guess Block. The wonderful, magnificent move that would bring him to power. Right?


As Tendou moved onto middle school, it is evident that he has been accepted, but only in the slightest. During his last year, it shows that he has styled his hair differently. Automatically, its remorseful. His demons haven’t abandoned him, and to be accepted, Tendou tried to fix the only part of him that could be easily fixed, his hair. Although, fixing his hair doesn’t bring him to acceptance. He keeps the Guess Block close to him, after five years he still uses it as his crutch, and people don’t like it. A woman, presumably his coach, yells at him for it. Tendou tries to argue that it’s helping them score points, but she disagrees. This doesn’t get Tendou down, though. The Guess Block is the only thing he takes pride in, and like hell anyone is going to take that away from him. As his coach yells at him, he smiles. To him, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this block, and because of it, the coach gets frustrated, and ends practice early. The episode then cuts to a scene of Tendou walking up to a storage closet. Inside, there are two other boys, his teammates, talking behind his back. The first thing they say is a blatant attack at his looks and personality. In that moment, you can see Tendou’s mood just drop. Unlike the Guess Block, there’s absolutely nothing about his body or mind that he can take pride in. That deep crack in his heart from when he was a kid shatters just a bit more. Now it wasn’t just complete strangers, bullies who he was trying to fit in with. These were his teammates, people he was supposed to get along with, work with, play with. Now that his own teammates were calling him that same taunting name ‘Monster’, Tendou feels more betrayed than before. The teammates continue, saying things such as how he doesn’t cooperate, and how practice “always ends early when Tendou’s around.” This was a jab at his Guess Block. Although his views of it didn’t change, you can see that later on, he was starting to get a bit insecure over the thing he loves most.


When Tendou applies for the Shiratorizawa volleyball team, his nerves are evident. After the whole incident in middle school, he had began to grow a bit wary of the Guess Block, although he’s still very confident. If he wasn’t confident, he wouldn't’ have put a suit and tie on, marched down to Washijou’s office and requested to be put on the team, but he did. He did because he was confident. During the meeting with Washijou, Tendou looks sullen talking about his Guess Block. For a moment, he expects an immediate rejection, although, when he’s greeted with acceptance, he’s shocked. There was a look in his eyes that scared me. In that very moment, dressed in uncharacteristic clothes and sweaty palms, his nervous gut roiling and walls that felt like they were going to close in on him, he felt free. This has probably been the first time in Tendou’s life that he had been accepted by someone outside of his family. He was not only being accepted for his Guess Block, but him. He was being accepted for Tendou Satori, the nine year old boy who couldn’t play volleyball because he looked like a monster, the fourteen year old boy who was stabbed in the back by his own teammates. He was being accepted for him. Can you imagine the wave of happiness that rushed over him? He hadn’t quit, he never gave up on this sport. Tendou Satori loves volleyball, and now, after fifteen years of never playing it with pure happiness, he finally will. Acceptance into Shiratorizawa was a giant plaster over all the wounds in his heart.


You can presume that Tendou continues his next three years of high school with happiness, although it’s evident his scars have yet to heal. Tendou is a beautiful person, he really is, despite his pent up persona of being a sadist. He wants nothing more than the happiness of other people. You can see this when he butts into Shirabu and Goshiki’s argument. He knows Shirabu is a confident, he should be, so his time praising him is limited. Goshiki, however, is somebody Tendou can read. Tendou sees himself in him, and although it’s subliminal, it speaks a lot. Tendou is fast to compliment not only Goshiki’s game technique, but his hair. Now, Goshiki has the same haircut as Tendou when he was a child, so naturally, it would tie to some bad memories. I think Tendou never really wanted to style his hair differently. If it were up to him, he would’ve kept it the same, he would’ve kept everything the same, really, but he had to change. He forced himself to change because he wanted to force his way into being accepted. Tendou doesn’t want Goshiki to end up in the same pit as he did. Tendou is going to be there to be the acceptance that Tendou never received. Other people on the team gently tease Goshiki for being so enthusiastic, but never once does Tendou put him down. If you look into Goshiki’s character he shows very positive signs when he’s being complimented, once even going as far as stating that he loves to have a fuss being made over him. Tendou never had that, so can you imagine the happiness he must feel seeing Goshiki feel proud over words he says? On this team, Tendou does feel a lot of acceptance. Him and Ushijima are good friends, amazing friends, at that, and thst can imply that Ushijima was Tendou’s first real friend. Despite the positive atmosphere Tendou is in, there’s one thing that still spikes his insecurity, his nickname. Although “Guess Monster” may seem badass, it isn’t to him. It enraged his everytime he hears it, although it isn’t shown. Its taking his rock, the Guess Block, and pairing it up with the very demise of his existence. It’s bittersweet. He likes to be recognized for the move he’s spent years perfecting, but when it’s tied to the very bane of his existence, it automatically becomes a negative term. Something inside Tendou is still very attached to that malicious child nostalgia. He becomes kind of a perfectionist. Although his Guess Block is either 0% or 120%, he always wants it to be at 120%. He feels as if it isn’t always perfect, isn’t always scoring points, he’s useless, even if it is one point. He was accepted on this team to score points, and if he can’t do that, he might as well be the awkward, nine year old boy standing on the side of the court, holding back tears while being called a monster. There are scenes in which Tendou says things that are familiar to me. I’ve been in situations like this where I try to play off my mistakes as a joke so people can look beyond them. The whole cry of, “I screwed up!” and trying to change the topic away from the move he guessed wrong are things I’ve done to mask my failures. I could tell you exactly what he’s feeling, embarrassment. It’s a cold sweat over his skin, his stomach tightens up and he hopes nobody, especially not his coach was paying attention. He wants people to forget he’s flawed, forget he can do any wrong. This cold sweat will keep breaking out until he redeems himself, until he’s back up at 120% again, and all images of deprecation subside.


After the final match with Karasuno ends, Tendou is seemingly calm, but he’s not. Tendou is a tempest, and enigma, somebody who’s built up so many walls to shelter his real emotions. He doesn’t want to be seen as vulnerable as he was back then. But he knows damn well the moment he gets home, he’ll break down into pieces. When Tendou says ‘Goodbye my paradise” this refers to many things. Firstly, it refers to the sport of volleyball itself. While stretching with Ushijima, Tendou tells the latter that he won’t be continuing volleyball after high school, and is going to leave that to Ushijima. In all honesty, the comment seems light hearted. This could be seen from the perspective that Tendou just doesn’t want to continue, that he doesn’t think he’ll be good enough for college, but that’s not it. Tendou Satori loves volleyball more than Ushijima, more than Hinata, more than Oikawa or Kageyama or anybody. To Tendou, volleyball is his entire life. The reason why Tendou has decided to drop volleyball is because he doesn’t want to dwell in that deep dark pit again. Shiratorizawa was Tendou’s safe haven, and inarguably the best three years of his life. Tendou doesn’t want to go back to vying to play volleyball or trying to be accepted all over again. He knows he won’t be as lucky with other teams as he was with Shiratorizawa. Tendou knows the moment he tries to get on other team, they’ll cast him out. Of course, he might have a title, people would definitely take him in, seeing that he was from the infamous Shiratorizawa boys volleyball team, but acceptance necessarily doesn’t mean acceptance. It would be like middle school all over again. The arguments with the coach, the hate behind his back. Tendou wants to leave volleyball with the wonderful experience he’s had at Shiratorizawa, and not another team that despises his very being. He wants to love volleyball for what he had, not what he tried to have. Volleyball at Shiratorizawa was his paradise, it was the place where he had first made friends, where he first was praised, where he first was able to play however he wanted, be whoever he wanted. “Farewell, my paradise” just shatters my heart. He’ll be going back into the real world, where people don’t accept him like people did at his school. The vacation is over for him. He’s bracing himself for the usual torments, the comments, the hate. Tendou, more than anyone, more than his pissed off coach, and sobbing Goshiki, despises this loss. That drop of the ball on his side of the court was the soft meding plaster that covered his wounds being ripped off fast and hard without warning. It stung.


Tendou Satori is an incredible character. He’s broken, beaten, bruised inside out, but until the very end, Tendou powers through it. Tendou Satori loves volleyball. He loves it through his pain, he loves it through his betrayal and begins to love it even more as his glory days arrive. Tendou, despite his portrayal as a sadistic, cold blooded villain, is soft. He’s human, he has more scars than anyone, and tries to mend these scars all he can. He’s absolutely incredible. He has a sadder story than everyone, even Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Kageyama. He’s more powerful than everyone, even Hinata, Oikawa and Ushijima. He’s kinder than everyone, even Sugawara, Asahi and Akaashi. Tendou Satori is dirt caked and broken, but with polish, he’s ethereal.

Tatterdemalion Dreams

This is a coda to Ragtag Heroes, not really intended to become a separate thing but my attempt to get into Sirius’s head. Excuse me while I upend my drabble bin over your heads. :D


Sirius’s little brother has always been just that—little. Regulus was a slight and slender child, and has grown into a lean and lithe man, a little too thin and rawboned from constant stress but still pretty in the way that their parents always despaired of. Sirius can admit, despite his hatred of her, that Walburga Black was an absolutely stunning woman, and Regulus takes after her very much in looks.

Not so much in personality, though, regardless of what Sirius thought as a child. Not after what he’s managed to accomplish.

Slumped in a dusty old armchair, Sirius watches his brother wander around Grimmauld Place’s library, touching covers, stroking long fingers over worn spines. This is Reggie’s element and always has been—Sirius was honestly astonished that he ended up in Slytherin rather than Ravenclaw, during the Sorting. Regulus as a child, in Sirius’s mind, was forever clutching a book, sometimes as big as himself, and wandering around with a dreamy, distant expression. He thinks of it with a bit of a pang, now, because at some point during his first year at Hogwarts that warm burst of fondness at the sight of his little brother, forever trying to please everyone, transformed into something sneering and derisive and passively loathing.

Regulus being sorted into Slytherin was the final straw, and Sirius, already immersed in being different from their parents and surrounded by Gryffindors who held the same beliefs, had turned his back on Regulus, not about to associate himself with a sniveling follower.

Never mind the fact that Regulus was eleven. Never mind that their parents had always leaned harder on Regulus, who was never nearly as willful. Never mind that Regulus adored Sirius since birth, as the only one who spent any amount of time with him outside of the house elves. Sirius had turned away, found a new brother in James who suited him so much better, and left without a backwards glance.

Their parents were never kind, even to the family favorite, and Sirius watches Regulus meander through the shelves with something like guilt roiling in his gut. Should have known, he thinks, and the vague, distant regret he’s felt since learning of his brother’s death is back in full force, because Sirius had run away from the family and left Regulus behind. It doesn’t matter that they were at odds at the time; Regulus was always a gentle soul, always tried to please their parents no matter what. Sirius could have easily taken him along to James’s, could have convinced him to abandon their parents’ ideals if only he’d remembered the sweet little boy Regulus had been, rather than looking at the distant, aloof Black prince he’d been forcibly molded into.

But he didn’t, hadn’t bothered, and something in Sirius is—

“Leo Prince,” Regulus says unexpectedly, making Sirius jump.

“What?” Sirius asks, blinking.

When he looks up, Regulus is giving him that nostalgic you’re-a-moron-Siri-and-must-I-lower-myself-to-your-level look. He’s seen it quite often—usually from the child Regulus used to be, excited about some obscure spell or ritual or potion, some little-known aspect of ancient magical theory that lost Sirius completely about twelve words into the explanation. Not that he’s an idiot, academically—Sirius has always been proud of his grades—but Regulus is something entirely different. Even their parents never quite knew what to do with him, beyond shipping him off to Voldemort in a gift-wrapped package.

“Yes, Reggie?” Sirius grins at his little brother, for the sole reason that the nickname drives him batty and nothing gets his ire up like pretending to be stupid. “What was that?”

Regulus rolls his eyes so hard Sirius wonders how he doesn’t strain something. “My name,” he explains, tone long-suffering, “for teaching at Hogwarts.”

Sirius turns it over in his head for a moment. “Leo?” he repeats dubiously, because outwardly Regulus is the perfect Slytherin, and whenever he’s not being Slytherin he gives a damned good impression of being a born Ravenclaw. Nothing leonine about him, really.

That gets him another roll of Regulus’s eyes, though it’s subtler this time. “The star Regulus is the brightest heavenly body in the constellation Leo,” he says, and his mouth quirks in a wry smile. “Also called ‘the Heart of the Lion’.”

Sirius snorts at that, wondering what twist of fate gave Regulus the one Black name that suited him exactly. ‘Heart of the Lion’ indeed. “And Prince?”

“From the literal meaning of my name.” Regulus turns back to his books again, plucking one off the shelf and adding it to the already sizeable pile he’ll be taking to Hogwarts with them. “’Little King’. It’s a name I’ve used before, in parts of the Continent. So if a particularly overprotective parent should try to trace my movements, there will be a trail. Leo Prince spent two years in Italy and then Eastern Europe, studying blood rituals from ancient times.”

Of course he did, Sirius thinks with a roll of his own eyes. He’s spent several weeks already with Hermione, and even she can’t hold a candle to his little brother. But rather than say anything—although it’s tempting, because Reggie being defensive over his rituals and spells is easily one of the more amusing things Sirius has ever encountered—he just asks, “And disguises? It’s more than likely that Peter told Voldemort about my Animagus form, and I hate to say it, Reggie, but you—”

“Yes, yes,” Regulus cuts him off, clearly annoyed. He’s always been easy for Sirius to rile. “We look very similar, I’m aware. Harry thought I was you, at first glance.”

Sirius blinks and fights a frown. Regulus is pretty, and Sirius has always considered himself—not without corroboration from other sources—to be handsome. Then he glances up, catches the tail end of Regulus’s wicked grin as the younger Black turns away, and huffs. “Oh, go on, rub it in,” he growls, chucking a cushion at his smirking brother. “At least I take after Father rather than dearest Mother in looks, pretty boy.”

That earns him a rude hand gesture and a scowl. “Anyway,” Regulus says forcefully. “I won’t use charms to change my appearance—they’re too easily detected and broken, even by the simplest of wards or spells. But…” He trails off, rummaging in a cupboard for a moment, and then, with a victorious sound, emerges holding a pair of glasses with delicate silver frames. He slips them onto his face, then pulls his hair from its loose tail and twists it into a messy braid falling over his shoulder.

They’re simple changes, but they’re able to highlight the differences between them. Sirius sits up straighter, taking in the way the glasses manage to entirely change Regulus’s face, and the hairstyle gives him a bookish, distracted, professorly air. With a change of clothes—good-quality robes, he thinks, maybe a little tattered, quiet colors, slightly too large—Regulus will be all but unrecognizable. Oh, there will be similarities, but there used to be a pureblood Prince family, and they intermarried with the Blacks enough to write off the resemblance as a result of typically tangled pureblood genealogy.

Regulus is giving Sirius the same look in return, but his is faintly distracted. “You, however,” he murmurs, “will need a charm or two, if only to keep from giving any of the more superstitious students a heart attack, looking like a Grim.” He trails off, muttering under his breath, his gaze absent, and Sirius realizes that this is his contemplative look. He’s no doubt running through every glamour charm he knows, cataloguing faults and weaknesses.

Such a Ravenclaw, really, Sirius thinks, and doesn’t even bother to fight the fond smile that rises. Good old Reggie, the walking encyclopedia of spells.

Then Regulus looks up at him and smiles that singularly angelic smile that means he’s about to show how he and Sirius really are related. He taps long fingers against his lips to hide the beginnings of a smirk, and murmurs, “Well, you’re the size of a bear, so there’s no way we’ll actually be able to pass you off as a normal dog, but…white, I think. Yes, white will do nicely. Maybe with a touch of tan?”

Sirius only has a moment to feel horrified before Regulus’s wand is out and moving.

“Well?” his little brother demands, sounding unnervingly like McGonagall. “Change already, we haven’t got all day.”

It’s going to be a very long year indeed.


It’s been a near age since Regulus last set foot on Hogwarts ground. He stands just outside the gates, staring up at the vast and imposing castle—strangely comforting, a home more than Grimmauld place could ever be, and he wonders if it’s like that for everyone. Perhaps only those from broken homes, if the Black family can count as such. Sirius, at least, had the Potters, but Regulus was always a distant, aloof child with few acquaintances and fewer friends. He had no one.

Unconsciously, his fingers curl into the thick fur of the beast standing at his side, higher than his waist and as big as a bear. White fur now, rather than black, but it’s still Sirius, still his brother brought back to him. Maybe everything isn’t entirely easy between them yet, but they’ve been strangers longer than they’ve been family, and they’re readjusting. Sirius whines softly and bumps against his hip, and Regulus musters up a smile for him.

“I’m fine, Siri,” he murmurs, although his fingers stay buried in pale fur. “Just…overwhelmed, a little.”

Normally he’d never admit to such a thing, but this is Hogwarts and he’s coming back and there’s absolutely nothing in the world he’s dreamed of more than destroying the Dark Lord with his brother at his side and the Light at this back. This is a step closer, the fifth out of seven, and then there’s only the snake left to find. Regulus has thrown out his net already; there are many people who owe him favors by now, with his knowledge base and skill set and Slytherin cunning, and Nagini will be found soon enough.

Just Ravenclaw’s artefact now, and then Harry. Their goal is so close, so achingly close that Regulus can almost taste it, and after sixteen unwavering years, he’s ready. Ready for a normal life, a death not at the hands of his former master, days not spent running from even the vaguest chance that Voldemort could discover him or his plans. It’s been too long.

With a huff of very un-canine impatience, Sirius shoves at him again and then heads up the road, strides sure and confident. Regulus only hesitates for a moment longer before hurrying to catch up with him, careful of his baggy robes. He hates them, if only for Sirius’s teasing at how he looks like a waifish scholar who thinks too much to eat. Not that Sirius is one to talk, really—he’s changed from looking like a Grim to looking like something out of Norse myth that’s about to devour the sun.

But Sirius is happy to be out of that dreary and rundown house, and Regulus can’t blame him. About the only good thing remaining there is Kreacher, and the elf is getting on in years. He’d been overjoyed that Regulus returned, but as much as Regulus missed him he hadn’t been able to bring himself to stay. He’d packed everything he needed in a day and headed out to Hogwarts and his new post, Sirius in tow. They’re quite a pair, really.

McGonagall meets them at the main doors, still regal and authoritative in a way Blacks can only dream of being, but she smiles faintly at Regulus. “Professor Prince,” she says. “How good to have you back. If you’ll follow me, I will show you to your chambers.”

This is happening, Regulus thinks suddenly, as his heart stutters and leaps forward into a gallop. This is real.

Professor, she called him, and that’s what he is now. No longer a nameless, fleeing face but a person, a figure of some standing, with a name and a past even if it isn’t his own.

That’s…pleasing.

Marks (Steve Rogers x Reader Soulmate AU)

Originally posted by luvinchris

Request: Hello ! I was wondering if you could do an imagine with Steve Rogers and a soul mate AU?? Like the one where the 1st sentences of our soul mate is written on our wrist or a little symbol which represents our s/o is somewhere on the body ?? Thanks !

A/N: I hope you like this! There’s so many different possibilities with soulmate AUs that I wasn’t really sure what else I should add. Hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 1,063

- Written by Brie- 


The past year had been a whirlwind of change. You’ve heard stories before about what it was like to meet the one who was made just for you - your soulmate, as most people call them - but until it happens to you, you don’t know what it truly feels like.

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anonymous asked:

I was wondering what your thoughts were on Hooks new rings? Like the rings themselves and what they might mean on a meta level since they aren't his "murder rings" anymore. You think it's a permanent change to go with the wedding ring? I love your thoughts on the show and jewelry!

First, thank you for asking my opinion! That doesn’t happen very often (and probably for good reason, lbr. ;) ). I would have replied sooner, but I’ve been at work. 

As we know, rings can be very symbolic—both in real life and to Killian specifically. We know at least two of the rings have been reminders of a violent past (even if one of those stories doesn’t actually work with the timeline and when we first saw it…ahem), and another was a reminder of his older brother. Rings mean something to him, but not generally anything good. 

“Every ring is a sad story.” (Killian Jones, “Birth”)

From Colin’s Instagram, here are the three main rings Killian has worn throughout the series: the two larger with red stones and some design around it along with a relatively simple silver band for his thumb. We know the two red-stoned rings were taken from men Killian felt wronged him. As he tells Emma, they were once trophies and then reminders. They carried weight—the weight of both hands—and they never let him forget what those hands and hook have done.

Let’s dig into Killian’s jewelry box before we get to the good stuff.

When he gets his hand back on loan from Rumple, he doesn’t let that hand go without a ring, and here we see a pinky ring with a purple stone, somewhat like the one Liam gave him (although I don’t believe they are the same. The stone is similar, but the band is different). 

This is Liam’s ring, although we don’t know where he got it or who gave it to him, if anyone. But Killian poses that it might be the thing that has kept him a survivor all these years. Liam gave it to Killian because it was the ring responsible for always bringing him home safely and he wanted that same thing for Killian when they were about to face what should have been certain death. That ring is so important to Killian, it remains hidden for almost 3 seasons and only comes out when Killian wanted to make sure Emma came back to him safely while she was the Dark One. A pirate doesn’t give his prized possessions to just anyone. 

And here we have Dark One Killian’s rings. Gunmetal and likely onyx or jet. They are as dark as his soul at that moment, and that’s saying something given how dark Killian probably feels about himself and his deeds most of the time. I do like that they gave him a new set of bling for his outing as Dark Hook. I think it was important to illustrate that he was himself yet vastly different, too. The rings they (and possibly Colin) picked for Dark Hook were perfect. Sleek and somewhat classic. And oh so dark. 

Up to this point, every ring has been a sad story. 

But not for long.

(FYI, spoiler picture under the cut.)

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Magi 347 Spoilers

Warning: As usual, please note that my level of Japanese is basic at most, and this is just a translation of text summaries available online, so I cannot guarantee that the following snippets are accurate. In other words, these can be just rumors or misinterpretations, and I might have left some parts out because I didn’t understand them. Feel free to share the link, but please DO NOT REPOST, and don’t forget to support the official releases!!

In which Sinbad tells Alibaba no one understands, makes me not understand, then understanding happens.

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Six Months

Requested: Hi I was wondering if you could write an imagine where management has Shawn date a celebrity instead of y/n. Thanks

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

That’s it then. Apparently two years meant nothing to him when it meant everything to you. How could he just pretend like two years of your lives never happened? How could he just move on like that? 

As your finger hovers over the mousepad of your macbook, you know you should exit out of this website. You know you should stop looking at these pictures of your ex hand-in-hand with new girl that isn’t you, but you can’t. That’s the thing about dating a celebrity that you never considered before dating Shawn, that once you break up, you’ll see pictures of him all over the internet when you’re not even looking for them. And when he gets into a new relationship, especially if that new relationship is with a “cute, young up and coming actress who’s making her own waves in the industry and dating Shawn Mendes on top of that,” people actually talk about it, and there is no escaping it.

Your friend looks up at you across the table you were supposed to be studying at. “You’re doing it again, aren’t you, y/n?” She asks.

“Doing what?” You question, quickly closing the page and trying to act innocent.

Keep reading

“Atheistic Science to Witchcraft’s, Magick”

Atheism is the lack of belief in hailing unproven supernatural entities and the disregard of higher beings created by organized religious groups. With a better understanding shown through examination, studies, and tests we all call, Science! Whether it be physical, psychological, or sociological. The biggest summarization for atheism is: FACTS! Without fact, it is only questionable and unsupported!

Atheists do not assume every question in life has been answered, but can be, through growing progression of science, which has in fact, advanced society in every possible way for the better and has helped unify civilization for the past couple hundred years.

If one presently walked on the oceans and changed my Dasani into wine, that’s proof. Someone saying it happened thousands of years ago with nothing to support or back it up, doesn’t make it fact. Fact is important to realistic ideals of Atheists.

Witchcraft broadly means the practice of, and belief, in the skills of magick. Not to be confused with the Illusionary art and enjoyable entertainment, provided by Chris Angel and other magicians. These practises have existed since the beginning of humanity’s advantages taken for uses of medicine, for centuries. This is the use of rituals, symbolism, gestures, and language believed to manipulate universal or natural forces. Most consider this to be used for a sense of personal and spiritual growth. Witchcraft is a complex and general concept that varies culturally and societally. A major function of this practice is the acknowledgment and general understanding of nature, and compounds of it that are used.

Both, atheism and Witchcraft, have something in common: Science.

While many forms of Witchcraft have been practiced in the name of many spirits among cultures, I will not be going over this. Through the empathy of people who rely strictly on facts, I will be breaking down general aspects scientifically.

Herbology: Medicinal practices are very commonly known in the practices of Witchcraft. Herbs can be studied and are implemented for healing sickneses, symptoms, and injuries. This practice was normal in societies and most witches were also considered healers, commonly called, Wise Ones. These practices have evolved immensely over centuries, that it has developed into our medical advancements we have today.

Now for the fun stuff, Ritualistic Items: Science explains everything has a vibration and frequency because everything is made up of atoms. Atoms are electrons that orbit the nucleus of protons and neutrons, with mostly space in between. Even the most solid and dense objects are vibrating at different frequencies, because those super tiny atoms are moving very fast and close together constantly. By everything, that’s including everything living as well.

With this knowledge, items like crystals, an important aspect and influence of Witchcraft and pagan practices, have individual geometric formation because of their structure of atoms. Like everything else in the world, they also emit certain frequencies. These crystals hold their own indivual properties that most witches will constantly push you to use for rituals and “spells”.

Practitioners keep certain crystals with or on them because their frequencies can effect them constantly. The same goes with certain metals, burning incense, and other objects that have been considered “protection”. Some witches identify bad ‘spirits’ as general negativity. These protective items have higher frequencies that influence positivity on the body and mind . The higher the frequency, the more positive effects it has on the human body. This can be considered cleansing of negative mojo and spirits. Vice versa for hexes and curses, which consist of putting items with low frequencies on or around the intended.

Spells: We use energy to bring about change. Most spells over courses of time always enforce concentration and visualization in its practice. The amount of concentration is influential among yourself and everything around you, and goes back to our brain waves.

Science has shown we have five different kinds of brain waves:

Gamma: These waves are associated with cognitive functions, memory, and learning. Mentally challenged indivuals are shown to have lower gamma activity.

Beta: These brain waves are emitted while actively solving problems. Such as solving mathematic and scientific equations, or constructive thinking, and physical tasks.

Alpha: These brain waves are emitted when we are relaxed and calm. Alcohol and Marijuana influence Alpha wave activity.

Delta: These brainwaves are active when we are in deep sleep and dreaming. They help regulate bodily functions while sleeping for restoration as well.

Theta: These emit through relaxation and deep visualizations and intentions and are highly influential with interaction. Motivational speaking with emotional focus and intent can inspire others because these waves that are emitted effect others’.

Deep visualization and intentions are so important to casting a spell, because if you are not doing these, you’re not emitting the proper influential Theta waves that are detrimental to performing these, “spells”.

Ritualistic casting with incantations and tools support an individual to being more focused and inspired, to increase the chances of the emission of Theta waves. Scientific study also leans towards the idea that paranormal and spiritual activity is measured by electromagnetic frequencies. Who’s to say previous necromancer haven’t reached the dead by the change of energy around them?

Book of Shadows: The scientific method is used to find proof and explain the undiscovered. Through series of hypothesis, tests, and analysis are we able to come closer to any conclusion or explaination.

Most witches have a grimoire, or Book of Shadows, that is used for personal use in practices to record notes, spells, songs, or other practicing knowledge.

Witches will set a goal to effect themselves or others and find materials and knowledge that fit the circumstance(ask a question, do background research). They use these books to document desires from their practice(Hypothesize), preform rituals and spells(test), and write their results and add any changes necessary for succession(conclusion).

From my discovery, Science has everything to do with practice of casting in Witchcraft. Over time, practices that led to discovery were often considered magic, before implemented in society.

Ex. Herbology, medince, alchemy, chemistry, etc.

Even new age philosophies acknowledge the effects of intention and magick through example and personal enlightenment. Luciferianism and Satanism are Atheistic philosophies, but some followers practice the influences of the mind and sending curses and hexes, through bad intention to those deserved. Some present day Pagan and Witchcraft practitioners don’t designate themselves to any specific deities, but the example of nature. Goddesses were nurturing, fertile, and offered life, much like nature or women, historically revered, themselves.

When it comes to idolizing specific and well known spirits (gods and goddesses), it has yet to be proven among society as a whole. Who is to say these aren’t also examples of humanity in nature used in practice? Or simply something we have yet to discover personally?

If curiosity seems compelling, grab a crystal, light a candle, and send a spell or hex one’s way.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to send them to me. This is a page of open mindedness and curiosity among the explained and unexplained. That sense of respect is included to its’ followers as well.

Stay wicked.

- Bohemian Witchery

Beginning to Understand Karma

by Lama Thubten Yeshe

BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND KARMA

There’s not just one, fixed, mathematical way of explaining karma; there are many different ways, including the subheading and numbered list approach. Sometimes it seems that people new to Buddhism find karma hard to understand, but actually, it’s easy to get a rough, initial understanding of it.

Of course, once you get into the details, karma can be extraordinarily complex, too, but when I introduce it to beginners, I try to keep it simple so that they can get at least a basic, intellectual understanding. In reality, the only way you can get a total understanding of karma is through your own experience, and that experience is beyond words.

Trying to get a total understanding of karma through the intellect alone is like trying to count every atom of earth, water, fire and air in the universe, which is impossible,

Fundamentally, what is karma? Karma is your body, speech and mind. That’s it. It’s very simple. If I were to try to compare the subject of karma to the kinds of thing you study in the West, I’d say that it parallels in some ways the theory of the evolution of everything that exists. Karma encompasses everything on Earth and beyond, every existent phenomenon in the universe, throughout infinite space — in Buddhist terms, every phenomenon in samsara and nirvana. Karma is the energy of all phenomena and has nothing to do with what your mind believes.

If karma encompasses all relative phenomena, are these phenomena interconnected? Well, even modern science understands that all the energy in the universe is interdependently related; it’s not just Buddhist dogma.

For example, where does all the green vegetation we see around us come from? It doesn’t arise without cause. First there has to be a cause; then, the effect — the relative appearance of the green — arises. Similarly, each of us also has a cause; we, too, are interdependent phenomena. We depend on other energies for our existence. Those energies, in turn, depend on yet other energies. In this way, all energy is linked.

You probably think your body comes from the supermarket: as long as the supermarket’s there, you can eat; as long as you can eat, you exist. Obviously, it goes much deeper than that. Therefore, your conception of what you are — “I am. I’m this; I’m that; I’m this — is like a dream. Intuitively, your ego has this notion that you’re independent, that you’re not a dependent phenomenon. That’s complete rubbish.

If you look, you can easily see how you’re interdependent. It looks complicated; it’s not complicated. It only becomes complicated if your mind thinks it’s complicated. Your mind makes things up; that’s karma, too — an interdependent phenomenon; it exists in relation to other energy. If you understand the basic simplicity of this, you’ll be more careful in the way you act because you’ll realise that every single action of your body, speech and mind produces a reaction.

We describe samsara as cyclic: it’s like a wheel, it goes round; one thing produces another, that produces another, and so it goes on, one thing pushing the other. And each karmic action is like the seed that produces a flower that in turn produces hundreds of seeds, which then result in hundreds more flowers that produce hundreds more seeds each. In this way, in a relatively short time, one seed produces thousands and thousands of results.

The actions of your body, speech and mind are the same. Each action, positive or negative, good or bad, produces an appropriate result.

Also, karma doesn’t depend on your believing in it or not. The mere fact of your existence proves the existence of karma. Irrespective of whether you want to know about karma or not, whether you believe in it or not, it doesn’t matter: you are karma. Whether you accept karma or reject it, you can’t separate yourself from karma any more than you can separate yourself from energy. You are energy; you are karma. If you’re a human being, it doesn’t matter whether others think you’re a human being or not — you’re a human being. It doesn’t depend on what you think, either. The truth of all existence doesn’t depend on what people believe.

Sometimes you might think, “OK, Buddhists accept karma. They try to do good, avoid evil and perhaps enjoy positive results, but what about people who don’t believe in karma?”

But whether you believe or not, your suffering and problems have a cause. They don’t depend on what you believe. Do you think you suffer only because you think you suffer? No. Even if you say, “I’m not suffering,” you’re suffering. Suffering comes along with your very life.

Therefore, I often say that the Buddhist connotation of religion is a little different from the Western one. But when I say that, I’m not saying Buddhism is better; it’s just different. Its analytical approach is different.

UNDERSTANDING KARMA

When we teach karma, we often refer to its four characteristics, the first of which is that karma is definite.

Karma means action, your energy, and karma’s being definite means that once you have set in motion a powerful train of energy, it will continue running until it either is interrupted or reaches its conclusion. Karma’s being definite does not mean that once you have created a specific karma there’s nothing you can do to stop it. That’s a wrong view of karma.

Take, for example, the attitude of certain followers of the Hindu religion. You’ll find many people like this in India and Nepal: they believe in karma, but they believe it’s completely fixed. “I was born a carpenter. God gave me this life. I’ll always be a carpenter.” “My karma made me a cobbler; I’ll always be a cobbler.” They are very sincere in their belief, but very wrong in thinking that karma can’t be changed. When Westerners come across such people they can’t believe that they can think this way. Westerners know immediately from their own experience that if you really want to change your status in life you can do so.

But because these people’s misconceptions are so strong, they can’t change. It’s silly, isn’t it? That kind of super-belief is religious fanaticism. It’s ignorant; it closes your mind and prevents you from expanding and developing it.

I also sometimes see great misconceptions about karma in new Dharma students. They read and think about karma, accept its existence, but then become too sensitive about it. If they make a mistake in their actions, they get emotionally terrified and guilty. That’s wrong, too.

The karmic energy of your body, speech and mind comes from your consciousness. Some scientists say that there’s a totality of energy from which all other energy manifests. Be that as it may, in the same way, all of the energy of your body, speech and mind comes from your consciousness, your mind — from your mind; your consciousness.

If you put your energy into a certain environment and a certain channel, a different form of energy will manifest. It changes. If you direct your conscious energy one way, one kind of result will come; if you direct it another way, a different kind of result arises. It’s very simple. But what you have to know is from what source your actions come. Once you do, you’ll see that you are responsible for what you do; you can determine what you do and what happens to you. It’s more up to you than to your circumstances, friends, society or anything else outside you.

If, however, you don’t know that it’s possible to direct the energy of your body, speech and mind or how to do it, if you have no idea of how cause and effect operates in everyday life, then of course, you have no chance of putting your energy into positive channels instead of negative ones. It’s impossible because you don’t know.

Positive actions are those that bring positive reactions; negative actions are those that bring negative reactions, restlessness and confusion. Actions are termed positive or negative according to the nature of their effects.

In general, it’s our motivation that determines whether our actions are positive or negative; our mental attitude. Some actions start out negative but can become positive due to the arising of an opposing kind of energy. The Abhidharma philosophical teachings talk about absolute positives, such as the true cessation of suffering, but for us, it’s more important to understand positive and negative on the relative level. That’s what we’re dealing with in our everyday lives: relative positives and relative negatives.

However, we’re usually unconscious whenever we act. For example, when we hurt our loved ones, it’s mostly not deliberate but because we’re unconscious in our actions. If we were aware that every action of our body, speech and mind constantly reacts internally within us and externally with others, we’d be more sensitive and gentle in what we did, said and thought.

Sometimes our actions are not at all gentle but like those of a wild animal. Next time you’re acting like a wild animal, check up which channel your energy’s in at that time and understand that you can change it — you have the power, the wisdom and the potential to do so. You can redirect your energy from the negative into the positive channel.

Also, you have to accept that you’re going to make mistakes. Mistakes are possible. You’re not Buddha. When you do make an error, instead of freaking out, acknowledge it. Be happy: “Oh, I made a mistake. It’s good that I noticed.” Once you’ve recognised a mistake, you can investigate it intensively: what’s its background? What caused it? Mistakes don’t just pop up without reason. Check in which channel your mind was running when that mistake happened. When you discover this, you can change your attitude.

In particular, you have to understand that negative actions come from you, so it’s up to you to do something to prevent their negative reactions from manifesting. It’s your responsibility to act and not sit back, waiting for the inevitable suffering result to arise.

Therefore, instead of simply accepting what happens to you, believing “This is my karma” and never trying to work with and change your energy for the better, understand that you can control what happens to you and be as aware of your actions as you possibly can.

KARMA, INNER STRENGTH AND LIFE ITSELF

To over-simplify, according to even normal society’s way of thinking, anything you do dedicated to the benefit of others is automatically positive, whereas anything you do just for your own benefit automatically brings a negative reaction. Whenever you act selfishly, your heart feels tight, but when you try to really help others, psychologically you experience openness and a release that brings calm and understanding into your mind. That is positive; that is good karma.

However, if you don’t actively check your motivation, you might think or say the words, “I’m working for the benefit of others,” but actually be doing the opposite. For example, some rich people give money with the idea that they’re helping others but what they really want to do is to enhance their own reputation. Such giving is not sincere and has nothing whatsoever to do with positive action or morality.

Giving with the expectation that others will admire you is giving for your own pleasure. The end result is that it makes you berserk, restless and confused. Check up. Look at the way normal people act; it’s so simple. Even if you give away huge amounts of money, if you do it with selfish motivation, expecting tremendous results for yourself, you end up with nothingness. It’s a psychological thing; there’s more to giving than just the physical action.

Take me, for example. I can sit cross-legged in the meditation posture and you’re going to think, “Oh, Lama’s meditating.” But if my mind is off on some incredible trip, although it looks as if I’m doing something positive, in fact I’m doing something completely neurotic and confused. You can never judge an action from its external appearance; its psychological component is much more important.

Therefore, be careful. In particular, acting out of loving kindness doesn’t always mean smiling, hugging and telling people, “Oh, I love you so much.” Of course, if that’s what somebody needs, then go ahead and stroke or hug that person; I’m not saying that you have to give up all physical contact. You just have to know what’s appropriate at any given time.

I have seen many students come to a meditation course, learn about love, compassion and bodhicitta for the first time, and at the end of the course be all fired up, wanting to help others: “Lama, I want to go to Calcutta and serve the sentient beings suffering there.”

I say, “You want to go? OK, go and try to help as best you can.” So they go, full of emotion, and, of course, see terrible suffering; poverty, starvation, disease and so forth. After a month, they have to leave, exhausted, because they find that simply going there, trying to help, isn’t really the solution.

A couple of my students, beautiful young women, went to Pakistan and Calcutta, hoping to express their loving kindness through serving where suffering was greatest. I told them to go, and return when the time was right. When they got there they discovered that what they were doing wasn’t really helping, and it wasn’t long before they were back.

Actually, expressing loving kindness through action is quite difficult. You have to be very skillful. It takes great wisdom. If you set out on a mission with no understanding, just a tight, emotional feeling of wanting to help, you’re in danger of losing yourself. For example, if you see somebody drowning and emotionally jump in without being able to swim, all that happens is that you both lose your lives.

Our physical energy is limited. Therefore, we’re limited in helping others in this way — we try to help others physically but come up empty; it’s beyond us. If you do want to help others out of loving kindness, act according to your ability and know your limits. Don’t overburden yourself because of emotion and incomplete understanding.

Mental energy, however, is practically unlimited. If we realise loving kindness, we’re like a ship. No matter how heavy the load, a ship can bear it. Similarly, with true loving kindness we can handle any situation that arises without freaking out. Furthermore, a ship does not discriminate; it carries whatever it’s given. Similarly, with loving kindness, we won’t favour one person over another: “You — come in; you — go away.”

When we practice Dharma and meditation, we build the inner strength necessary to be of greatest benefit to others and are able to face any difficulty that arises. Practitioners who are afraid to hear about suffering aren’t facing reality. The maha in Mahayana Buddhism means “great.” A Mahayana practitioner is supposed to be capacious and, like a ship, be able to take whatever comes along.

If we’re small-minded and hypersensitive, even tiny atoms can cause us to recoil: “I don’t want that atom.” That’s not the way of the Dharma practitioner.

Even the average, simple person who wants his or her life to be successful should be able to face whatever situation arises. If you freak out at the smallest thing, you’ll never make even this life successful. Everyday life is completely unpredictable; you can’t fix things to work out in a certain way. As things change, you have to change with them. You have to be flexible enough to deal with whatever happens.

If this is true for the ordinary person, how much more true must it be for the Dharma practitioner? You have to have the courage to face any difficulty that you encounter: “I can overcome any obstacle and reach perfect liberation.” Crossing the ocean of samsara is not easy, but it’s not samsara that’s difficult — it’s your own mind. What you actually have to cross is the ocean of your schizophrenic mind and you need to be confident that you can deal with that.

First you have to be able to think, “I can face whatever comes without running from it.” Life is not easy; forget about meditation — life itself is hard. Things change; the mind changes. You have to face each change as it comes.

Going into retreat doesn’t mean that you’re running away from society and life because you’re afraid of them. However, you need to develop confidence that you’ll be able to handle anything that life throws at you. What you really need to judge, though, is what the most advantageous thing to do at any particular time is: to stay in society or go into retreat. Whatever you undertake is in your own hands; what you need to know is why you are doing it.

KARMA, REALITY AND BELIEF

We often talk about how we waste our lives following the eight worldly dharmas — attachment to temporal happiness, receiving material things, being praised and having a good reputation and aversion to their opposites: discomfort, not getting things, being criticised and notoriety. Each time we get involved with those, we create negative karma.

For example, when somebody praises you, you feel happy and puff up with pride, and when somebody criticises you, you feel unhappy and depressed. Each time you go up and down like this, you create karma.

Why do you feel elated when praised and dejected when criticised? It’s because you don’t accept the way things truly are. You’re controlled by your hallucinating mind, which is totally divorced from reality. Whether you’re good or bad isn’t determined by what other people think but by your own actions. These are your own responsibility. If all your actions are positive, even if I say “You’re bad, you’re bad, you’re bad…” all day, it won’t affect your qualities. Therefore, you should understand what really makes an action positive or negative. It’s not defined by what other people think.

This is scientific fact, not religious dogma. If you go up and down because of what other people say, you’re hallucinating; you’re not seeing reality. You should have strong confidence in your own actions and take full responsibility for them. Then, even if all sentient beings turn against you, you’ll still be laughing. When you know what you are, you never get upset. If, on the other hand, your body and mind are weak, if you have no self-confidence and feel insecure, then of course you’re going to experience problems.

All your feelings, perceptions, discriminations and the rest, especially those mental factors that bring negative reactions, arise from the hallucinating mind. Therefore, quite early in their training, I teach my students to meditate on the nature of feeling.

We always think that whatever we feel — physically or mentally — must be right. Similarly, we think that whatever we see is real; we really do believe in what we see. I’m not talking about spiritual belief in the supernatural; I’m saying that we believe in the concrete reality of what we see around us every day. Do you think that’s right or wrong? It’s wrong.

For example, say that you’re tremendously attracted to a particular object. At that time you have a certain fixed idea of what that object is. But you’re fantasising; it’s a hallucinated fantasy. If you check your mind of attraction closely, you’ll see that its view is totally polluted and that what you perceive is a fantasy — neither the reality of the object nor that of the subject. A kind of cloud has appeared between your mind and the object and that’s what you see. All delusions arise in that way.

So, in the end, who has more beliefs — a religious person or an atheist? It’s the atheist. Atheists are prone to say, “I don’t believe anything,” but that’s just their ego speaking. They believe what they see; they believe what they feel; they believe what they think. For example, atheists consider certain things beautiful — that’s belief. This is the scientific truth of the situation. It doesn’t matter whether or not they use the word “belief” — they believe; they’re completely captivated by belief.

I can make the definitive statement that if your mind is clouded by the dark shadow of ignorance, if attachment rather than free communication is driving your personal involvements, you’re a believer. This is simple and logical. That’s why I always say that Dharma is very simple. It reveals the reality of yourself, your life and the things around you… the reality of everything. That’s the meaning of Dharma.

When some people go into a supermarket, they see the incredible display of goods as a reflection in a mirror. It’s like when you look into a mirror, you see your reflection but at the same time you know it’s not really you. That’s how those whose view of the nature of the supermarket is closer to reality see it — like a reflection. Therefore, they can control any attachment that’s likely to arise. Those whose view of the world is that of a more concrete reality see the goods in a supermarket as fantastic and can’t stop their senses from vibrating.

That’s the nature of ordinary attraction. Objects to which you’re attached make you tremble with desire and things that you hate make you shake with anger. Either way, it’s because you don’t understand reality.

Actually, those who really understand the absolute nature of the supermarket don’t see anything at all. The whole thing disappears. That might be too much for you to comprehend, but there’s truth in what I’m saying.

In conclusion, then, no matter how negative the things you’ve done, if you have powerful understanding, you can purify them completely. There’s no such concrete negative action that can never be purified; there’s a solution for everything.

Some Christians speak of certain concrete sins that send you to a permanent, everlasting hell. I’m not criticising; it’s a philosophical point of view. It’s good; it has a purpose. Any philosophy with a purpose is always good. But you should never think, “I have created such horrible negative actions that I’ll never be able to overcome them.” That’s an incredible devaluation of your human nature. Any kind of negativity, no matter how great, can be purified. That’s the power of the human mind.

That’s why the lam-rim starts out by teaching how great our human potential is. We have to understand the true value of our life. We always seek value externally. People even lose their lives in pursuit of material things or recreational pleasure. What a ridiculous waste of life!

Check within yourself very skillfully to see if you value material things more than your internal potential. That will show you how much you understand.

Stop Your Crying (ii)

Originally posted by stylesinthewild

This is the second and last part! Everyone seemed to like the first part! Follow, send feedback, and ideas for future stories!


Anne was 18 when Harry lost the letter.

Harry had taken Anne and her childhood friend, turned boyfriend, Ian to Jamaica  as a graduation gift. He decided on Jamaica because this is where he proposed to Y/n This is where they got married. Hell, he even thinks that this is where Anne was conceived. He thought of this trip as a rite of passage for Anne. He also hoped that maybe if he visits this place that is so sacred to him and his late wife, he’ll be able to move on.

It’s been 18 years and the furtherest he’s gone with a woman is having her give him a drunken hand job. He tried. He tried to move on, he knew that Y/n wouldn’t want him to be alone forever, but he couldn’t. It still hurt him.

The trip was nice, and quite frankly something that the three of them needed. Harry and Ian had gone fishing, while Anne had spent the day at the spa. Harry and Ian were fishing when Ian grew visibly uncomfortable.

“Wha’s the matter?” Harry asked his daughter’s boyfriend. Ian sighed and reached into his pocket. Harry looked at the hand Ian had extended to him and observed the black box.

Harry knew its contents. He felt his heart clench in his chest. He wasn’t angry that a man wanted to marry his daughter. He was happy for them. But he was sad. Sad that his wife wouldn’t get to witness their baby get married to the love of her life. Sad, that he was once in Ian’s shoes. Sad, that he will never feel that bliss again in his life.

“Mr. Styles,” Ian began. Harry shook his head and smirked. “Boy, yeh’ve known me before yeh could read. It’s Harry… or dad.” Ian smiled and nodded. “Harry, I wondered if I could marry Anne? I know that we’re young, but we’ve together since 8th grade. She’s my person, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want her to be my wife, and I, her husband. I want to have children with her.”

That last sentence caused Harry’s heart to stop. Ever since his wife’s death, he never wanted his daughter to have children. Sure, he knew he couldn’t stop her, but he didn’t want to lose her the same way he lost Y/n. He also didn’t want his grandchildren to grow up without a mother like Anne did.

Ian noticed how Harry’s demeanor changed, and knew what he said to cause the change in mood.

“Harry,” Ian sighed. “I know you’re scared of Y/n having children because of her mother, but I did the research and the chances of that are happening are slim. I would never get her pregnant if I knew that she would, um, die. I couldn’t do that to her, or you.” Ian finished.

Harry took the box from Ian’s hand and opened it up and saw a ring, and his heart stopped when he noticed the gemstone. It wasn’t a diamond, but an opal. Y/n’s favorite stone. He couldn’t stop his tears.

“Yes,. You can marry my daughter.”

Ian had proposed to Anne that night, and asked Harry if he wanted to be there when he popped the big question. Harry declined, because he knew that a moment like that should only be shared between two people, plus he really missed his wife, and wanted to be left alone.

The last night of their vacation, he laid in his hotel bed reading the letter over and over. He couldn’t believe that when he first read this letter out loud, he was holding his week old baby. Now, after reading it for what felt like the millionth time, she was engaged. She had grown up before his eyes, and his wife missed all of it.

Sometimes Harry really hated her. Sometimes, he wished that she would’ve saved her own life. Sure, he would’ve been devastated that he would have lost Anne, but they could have tried for more. But then Harry realizes that parenting is all about sacrifices, and his wife made the biggest one.

The next morning, Harry is awoken by his phone ringing. It’s Anne telling him that he’s going to make them late and that he better hurry up. Harry rushed out of bed, and packs in a rush not knowing where he put things. He doesn’t even check to see if he forgot anything.

They’ve been back for two days now, and Harry still can’t find that damn letter. He has been looking all over for it. He has torn everything in his room apart.

When Anne comes home from Ian’s she isn’t met with her dad’s cheerful greeting and a hug, but silence. She knows he is home though. She makes her way upstairs to look for her dad, and on her way she stops at her parents’ wedding picture. She smiles and marvels her mother’s beauty. She would never tell her father this, but she doesn’t love her mother. She has never met her, and doesn’t think that its possible to love someone you have never met. She has a great deal of respect for her though, but she doesn’t miss or love her like Harry thinks that she should.

When Anne reaches the top of the stairs she sees her father tearing his bedroom apart in a frantic state. “Daddy?” She asks warily.

Harry is pulled out of his frenzied state when he hears Anne’s soft voice. He only glances at her and returns to searching. Anne furrows her brow at her father’s actions. “Dad, what are you doing?” She asks confused.

Harry huffs and places a tattooed hand on his forehead. “I left something in Jamaica, I think.” Anne frowns. “What? Please, tell me it’s that old Rolling Stone shirt?” She asks with a  teasing smirk on her face.

This upsets Harry. “No, I lost a letter. Plus, that shirt was the last thing your mother had bought me.” She snapped. Anne has never heard an outburst like this from her dad, and she didn’t like it. “Sorry, I forgot that you are still in love with a dead woman.” Soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them.

Harry froze. He felt nothing but rage boil in him. He knew it was true, but he never thought that his daughter would say something like that. “You know that ‘dead woman’ gave her life for you? That dead woman died so she could give you,” He pointed at his daughter in a bitter tone. “Life. She could have easily said ‘Save me. I can have another baby.’ But she didn’t. Maybe she should have though. Maybe if she wasn’t so damn stubborn I would have my wife!” By the time he finished, he was in tears. He didn’t mean what he said, and Anne knew that, but it still hurt. So, being the kind person that she is she went over to her dad and held him while he cried.


Anne is now 23, and has been married for two months now. Her and Ian were engaged for 5 years. The pair both wanted to finish all of their schooling, and become established adults. Harry was spending the weekend with them in their East London flat.

He loved being with his daughter and son-in-law, they took his mind off of things. For the past 5 years, Harry has yet to find the letter. It bothers him every once in awhile but he thinks that it helped him move on. He has been going out on dates, and he can even have sex with other women. But he has never fallen in love. Anne is happy that after 20 some years, her father is finally moving on.

Harry, however noticed something was off. Anne didn’t have wine at dinner. She always has wine at dinner. She also covered her mouth multiple times to hide a gag. Then it hit him. She’s pregnant. Harry feels his blood run cold. Flashbacks from seeing his wife’s lifeless body after the baby was born haunts him, and he can’t see Anne like that. He cries, and looks up at the ceiling and whispers, ‘keep her safe, baby.’

7 months later, Harry’s phone rings and it’s Ian. Now, Harry knows that he should be jumping with the joy. He’s going to be a grandfather in a few hours, but he is nothing but nerves and dread.

Harry gets out of bed, and goes in his closet to get jeans and a shirt. When he puts his jeans on, he feels something in the pocket. He reaches in the back pocket and grabs a crumpled up envelope with messy, weak handwriting on the front of it. His tears are instantaneous. He knows that this is Y/n’s way of letting him know that Anne is going to be just fine.

When he gets to the hospital, his daughter is in labor, and so far everything is good. Ian leaves to get some clothes and asks Harry to stay with her while he’s gone.

He walks into the room, and the scene probably would have caused his heart to clench in sadness, but it doesn’t. He feels nothing but joy that his baby is having a baby.

Anne is sleeping, so Harry grabs her hand and reaches in his pocket and runs his thumb over the name on the envelope. He looks at Anne to make sure that she really is sleeping, before he reads the letter to her.

When he finishes. He kisses his little girl’s head and whispers, “This letter was a sign.”

8 hours later, Harry is holding his newborn granddaughter. He is smiling down at the little girl and can’t believe how precious she is.

She has her father’s eyes, her mother’s hair, and her grandmother’s name.

Oneshot: Absence

A kind of sad oneshot.

TW for references to marital abuse.

Set some time in the future. Emma leaves town with Hook, and over the course of a year she and Regina come to some realisations. Mentions of CS but definitely an SQ story. I don’t own Once or any of its characters. Apologies for any mistakes. Hope you all enjoy :)

“Nothing will change,” Emma assures her, that heartbreakingly sad smile on her lips, as she holds both of Regina’s hands in her own.

The words ring hollow, and Regina barely hears them, still reeling from the ‘Hook and I are moving to Boston’ revelation. Boston. Henry will go there every other weekend. Her parents will not be able to follow. She will have no reason to follow aside from Henry and he’s off to college in a year.

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