it's just so deadpan and funny

Things I love about the signs
  • <p> <b>Aries:</b> you are litterally the life of the party. If your not there no one is having fun.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> you are so blunt. It takes you 2 seconds to cut someone in half with your words.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> it is SO easy to talk to you. I genuinely adore you.<p/><b>Cancer:</b> you are so genuinely nice to everyone you meet.<p/><b>Leo:</b> you're hilarious and everyone loves you.<p/><b>Virgo:</b> you are so careful and detail oriented.<p/><b>Libra:</b> so funny and we're always in to the same stuff. You don't care who someone is you'll be chill with them no matter what.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> your sense of humor is so deadpan I can't<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> you can see the good in anything and everyone<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> you're incredibly deep and loyal<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> every single one of you I meet is incredibly unique in different ways it's beautiful<p/><b>Pisces:</b> you care so much about EVERYONE u just want everyone to be happy<p/></p>
  • Johnny: oh, Ten, by the way
  • Johnny: *gets down on one knee*
  • Ten: *oh my gosh, oh my gosh this is happening. oh my gosh it's finally happening after three years, he's finally going to ask me to -*
  • Johnny: careful, you almost stepped on a ladybug, it's bad luck
  • Johnny: *stands up and puts ladybug away*
  • Ten: *deadpan face*
  • Johnny: babe? is something wrong
  • Ten: *dramatically looking away with a strained voice*
  • Ten: i don't want to talk about it

anonymous asked:

i don't understand how people like the jake / rosa friendship i think they are so bland and have no chemistry like rosa is just dead to him and they write him to be extra annoying in episodes with her so you see the contrast and she's so deadpan and blunt it's so boring i don't understand why people like their friendship it's the worst pairing on the show - rosa and holt is the only pairing with rosa the writers have figured out how to do well

i respect you opinion, but for me what makes their friendship so funny and beautiful is the fact that they are opposites and rosa is deadpan and has a hard time showing any feelings, but she trusts jake and jake trusts her and they make a great team. obviously they don’t rise to the level of rosa/holt, that’s probably the most hilarious pairing on the whole show haha

anonymous asked:

hi!!! if ur taking prompts pls could I request Will growing in confidence and flourshing bc of his relationship w Richie and richie bigging him up loads? thanks u sm!!!

Okay now this is the shit i LIVE for. Gonna do it as a bullet pointy list if that’s okay bc I’m Tired of writing atm. Thanks 4 the prompt!!

-First of all, my boi Will has always had a Lotta opinions™. You know he’s the type of person that judges you for bad music taste but he’s too nice/shy to say anything

-oh boy does that change when he and Richie finally start dating

-Richie usually gets all the attention bc he’s loud af and has no shame so Will starts feeling more comfortable expressing himself bc how can he be embarrassed when Richie’s around (kinda like if Will fell over, Richie would pretend to fall too so he wouldn’t be embarrassed)

-Will starts to not be ashamed of his music and sorta pushes his taste on others, fiercely defending each song (“it’s not a weird song, Mike, its Art”) and gives El a music education

-so they start going to more parties and stuff because Richie is extroverted and has lots of friends, and Will has to brush up on his social skills

-Will struggles with anxiety and things but Richie and Will discuss their coping mechanisms and their limits together before any outing, plus let’s face it Richie has a PhD in Gay Panic attacks

-at first Richie sticks to Wills side like glue at every party bc Will is so out of his depth! He’s zombie boy no one is gonna like him, he thinks, but then slowly, he starts to talk to people on his own more and, shock horror, they’re nice? And they like him???

-Will also discovered he’s really good at running (from running away in the Upside Down sorry not sorry) so Richie encourages him to join the track team and he’s so good!!! He practises all the time And Joyce is so happy to see him in a club with loads of track friends! And Will is fit n healthy and gets a little less bony and tiny and can RUN U DOWN bitch

-Will befriends all the losers bc they love him and he falls in love with Bill because holy shit a fellow Artiste

-they talk about tones and shades and colour compositions until Richie gets jealous “stop stealing my boyfriend Bill, go flirt with Staniel”

-also Will LOVES Stan bc they have the same sense of humour. No one expected Will to have such a dark sense of humour but hey being possessed can make you a little bitter. They joke about their trauma together

-one day Max says something like “holy shit its way too hot today” and Will just replies “that’s nothing, Try being burnt alive Maxine” completely deadpan and NO ONE finds it funny except Stan who is literally losing it

-Richie compliments Will alllllll the time saying he’s beautiful and talented and pretty and kind etc etc and Will gets so flustered but he does kinda start to believe it

-the party truly, 100% accept Richie into their group after Will cracks a joke to Richie around them. It’s the first joke they’ve heard him make since being possessed. (Mike pulls Richie aside after that and is like “you’re so fucking annoying Tozier but…thanks man. You’re both really good for each other)

-will becoming more confident w his fashion because Richie dresses so Wildly. He lets El paint his nails bc he likes it and knows Richie thinks it’s cute. He wears a lot of Richie’s clothes and Richie just can’t stop staring. Look at his tiny model boyfriend!!!

anonymous asked:

So that one anon reminded me of a fairly funny story I thought I'd share with you. So my partner is at work when his coworker says to him, attempting to be jovial, "Hey, (name), do you eat that ass like it's cheesecake?!" referring to me. And my partner just turns to the guy, deadpan, and says, "Well I don't eat cheesecake but I DO eat ass." The joke seemed to have gone completely over his head and the end result was my shame. Pfft. Funny enough, I could see Otabek making the same mistake.

Steve is actually a sucker for anti-jokes. The other’s don’t expect it when one day they hear Steve laughing quietly to himself while on his phone and they ask him what’s so funny. And Steve Rogers— America’s greatest— is completely controlled when he looks at them and just deadpans, “How do you make a plumber cry? ………. You kill his family.” And everybody else is just like, “What the fuck, Rogers??”


The Family That Stays Together, Freezes to Death Slightly Slower Together is a good fic, really delves into that relationship between reigen and ritsu especially pertaining to ritsus admiration/fear for mobs powers morphing into self-hatred and jealousy towards a man he knows isnt scared of (using) mob. theres a refreshing quality to how all the characters are written - reigen is both responsible and a sleazeball, and mob is just. really perfectly captured in this fic i feel in a way that doesnt prioritize his meekness over how deadpan and serious he can be. ritsu is so melodramatic its great, the authors dont pull any punches with his self-loathing.

it all comes to a head because the premise is that the new exorcism job the three are going to is set right after the mogami arc, meaning theres some Juincy Character Angst in the woodworks. theres some genuinely funny moments in the fic itself to balance it out too now i just wish that [clears throat] uhhhhhhh [taps mic]

i just wish they would stop putting in those fucking memes

Imagine Figuring Out Right Away Who “Matt The Radar Technician” Is And Finding Him Adorable

Originally posted by nbcsnl

Originally posted by astrology-zone

(Same reader as in this and this imagines!)

You couldn’t help giggling when you saw “Matt the Radar Technician” walking down the hall, instantly knowing his face behind the large, dorky glasses he wore.

“What are you laughing about, Y/N?” Hux asked you, as you were both walking down the hall together.

“N-Nothing!” you quickly covered your mouth with your hand, now laughing at both Kylo’s disguise and Hux’s obliviousness. “Uh, ahem, uh, Matt? I’d like to speak with you for a moment.” You tried to sound authoritative, but Hux just rolled his eyes at you.

“You’re wasting your time, Y/N,” he said.

“No, no, this is perfectly productive,” you started to laugh as you pulled “Matt” down the hall and into an alcove, where he glowered down at you.

“This isn’t funny, Y/N,” he said. “I’m doing this for a very serious invest-”

“But you’re so cute!” you squealed, pinching the Knight of Ren’s cheek. “Look at your cute, dorky glasses! And the hair! I…gah, I just wanna hug you!”

“I don’t hug people,” Kylo deadpanned.

“Please?” you gave him your best kicked-puppy look, “Just one hug for your favorite not-commanding commander?” Kylo sighed, and gave you one very awkward hug, which made you start bouncing happily in his grip.

Hux, meanwhile, was watching you both with confusion and disdain, wondering how you could possibly be so…not like a First Order commander.

(For Anon)

Sugar Cookies - Adrinette AU

Adrien and Marinette where…

“There’s only one plug in this entire coffee shop and you’re sitting right in front of it and you’re not even using it, and my laptop is about to die in the middle of this online exam I’m taking so whatever I don’t care how intimidatingly attractive you are I’m sitting down at your table to plug my shit in” AU

… because I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing by practicing on AU prompts, and I’m always a sucker for anything Adrinette, especially since this particular fic is in one of my favorite settings: The Coffee Shop AU.

… and lowkey a Christmas AU because it’s time to get festive! Merry Christmas to @wileen-woleen from your secret Santa! And thank you to @mlsecretsanta for hosting this event!

Disclaimer: I’ve been neglecting research on how French schools work because I’m still trying to figure out how American schools work, so if you could pardon the inaccuracy…

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was running on approximately zero hours of sleep since Thursday— It was Saturday. At this point, her body was running solely on caffeine and sheer willpower.

She knew getting into the school of her dreams meant a lot of hard work, but she didn’t imagine it would be this hard, especially with the holidays coming just around the corner. Not only did Marinette have four exams to take on Monday and only one weekend to study for them, she also had to find the time to miraculously buy everyone presents.

But finding Christmas gifts were the least of her worries— Right now, Marinette had her brain hardwired to pass finals. In fact, she was in the middle of taking an exam right now. Albeit, it was only for practice, it might as well have been the real thing, given the very real anxiety and frustration twitching at her fingertips as she clicked away her answers.

She had just gotten to the last question on her test when a little window popped open at the lower right corner of her laptop.

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im pretty sure this is a scott pilgrim joke but theres this comic someone did of all the different shiros in a band and someone yells “IS THAT SWEDISH GUY A SHIRO TOO?” and shiro on the mic just deadpans like “yes.” and its so funny dskghjksdf

anonymous asked:

my headcanon is that, after widowmaker and tracer starts dating, amelie gets really clingy whenever lena's around, holding her hands, hugging her from behind, any sort of physical contact really, no one makes any comment on it because they don't have a death wish but its funny to see someone like amelie being affectionate.

OH!!!!! That’s so cute though and yeah I can totally see it. 

She does these things with a completely deadpan look on on her face, she’s the ultimate tsun. But Lena knows and is smiling like a fucking loser the entire time.

Say for example Lena is hanging with her squad, literally chatting away while in Amelie’s lap. Her arms around her chin resting on her shoulder, looking utterly bored and holding her close. Lena can’t be as animated but she’s just beaming and it takes awhile for the others to get used to it. 

I think at first D.Va is the only one brave stupid enough to attempt to say something but she is quickly silenced with a glare that might kill if she willed it so. Since then no one says a thing about this clingy spider woman. Keeping in mind the height difference this is hysterical and I love it. 

i just thought about like . kiriyama being one of those people on the internet who will read things in their voice (like theres a lady who will say anything in an anime girl voice and a movie trailer guy etc.) so theres just. videos. out there. of him saying the dumbest shit because people (shinji) thought it was funny and its VERY easy money for kiriyama.

like imagine the “slurp on my gurt put me in a shirt” but in the Most deadpan voice possible. endless hilarity i tell you

zodiac signs and puns
  • aries: laughs at every pun, especially their own puns, and cannot stop even if it was terrible
  • taurus: knows like one pun that they think is really fucking hilarious and they make it whenever possible
  • gemini: almost exclusively makes puns that are completely nonsensical
  • cancer: loves puns unironically, winks at you every time you catch one they made
  • leo: has never made a pun in their life, laughs respectfully at other people's puns but internally doesn't get the point
  • virgo: makes a pun and then makes this shit eating grin and "aaahh?? aaahhhh???" noises until you laugh
  • libra: literally just puns nonstop and they are all obnoxious
  • scorpio: will murder you if you make one but they secretly think it's funny as hell
  • saggitarius: makes really mediocre puns but also does fingerguns every time as if they are smooth as fuck
  • capricorn: deadpans every pun so you're not even sure if it was intentional
  • aquarius: gets really annoyed at other people's puns but laughs for hours at their own
  • pisces: makes a pun and then is immediately smug bc they think they're So Clever