it's just so deadpan and funny

Things I love about the signs
  • <p> <b>Aries:</b> you are litterally the life of the party. If your not there no one is having fun.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> you are so blunt. It takes you 2 seconds to cut someone in half with your words.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> it is SO easy to talk to you. I genuinely adore you.<p/><b>Cancer:</b> you are so genuinely nice to everyone you meet.<p/><b>Leo:</b> you're hilarious and everyone loves you.<p/><b>Virgo:</b> you are so careful and detail oriented.<p/><b>Libra:</b> so funny and we're always in to the same stuff. You don't care who someone is you'll be chill with them no matter what.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> your sense of humor is so deadpan I can't<p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> you can see the good in anything and everyone<p/><b>Capricorn:</b> you're incredibly deep and loyal<p/><b>Aquarius:</b> every single one of you I meet is incredibly unique in different ways it's beautiful<p/><b>Pisces:</b> you care so much about EVERYONE u just want everyone to be happy<p/></p>
  • Johnny: oh, Ten, by the way
  • Johnny: *gets down on one knee*
  • Ten: *oh my gosh, oh my gosh this is happening. oh my gosh it's finally happening after three years, he's finally going to ask me to -*
  • Johnny: careful, you almost stepped on a ladybug, it's bad luck
  • Johnny: *stands up and puts ladybug away*
  • Ten: *deadpan face*
  • Johnny: babe? is something wrong
  • Ten: *dramatically looking away with a strained voice*
  • Ten: i don't want to talk about it

anonymous asked:

So that one anon reminded me of a fairly funny story I thought I'd share with you. So my partner is at work when his coworker says to him, attempting to be jovial, "Hey, (name), do you eat that ass like it's cheesecake?!" referring to me. And my partner just turns to the guy, deadpan, and says, "Well I don't eat cheesecake but I DO eat ass." The joke seemed to have gone completely over his head and the end result was my shame. Pfft. Funny enough, I could see Otabek making the same mistake.


The Family That Stays Together, Freezes to Death Slightly Slower Together is a good fic, really delves into that relationship between reigen and ritsu especially pertaining to ritsus admiration/fear for mobs powers morphing into self-hatred and jealousy towards a man he knows isnt scared of (using) mob. theres a refreshing quality to how all the characters are written - reigen is both responsible and a sleazeball, and mob is just. really perfectly captured in this fic i feel in a way that doesnt prioritize his meekness over how deadpan and serious he can be. ritsu is so melodramatic its great, the authors dont pull any punches with his self-loathing.

it all comes to a head because the premise is that the new exorcism job the three are going to is set right after the mogami arc, meaning theres some Juincy Character Angst in the woodworks. theres some genuinely funny moments in the fic itself to balance it out too now i just wish that [clears throat] uhhhhhhh [taps mic]

i just wish they would stop putting in those fucking memes

Sugar Cookies - Adrinette AU

Adrien and Marinette where…

“There’s only one plug in this entire coffee shop and you’re sitting right in front of it and you’re not even using it, and my laptop is about to die in the middle of this online exam I’m taking so whatever I don’t care how intimidatingly attractive you are I’m sitting down at your table to plug my shit in” AU

… because I’m trying to get back into the swing of writing by practicing on AU prompts, and I’m always a sucker for anything Adrinette, especially since this particular fic is in one of my favorite settings: The Coffee Shop AU.

… and lowkey a Christmas AU because it’s time to get festive! Merry Christmas to @wileen-woleen from your secret Santa! And thank you to @mlsecretsanta for hosting this event!

Disclaimer: I’ve been neglecting research on how French schools work because I’m still trying to figure out how American schools work, so if you could pardon the inaccuracy…

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was running on approximately zero hours of sleep since Thursday— It was Saturday. At this point, her body was running solely on caffeine and sheer willpower.

She knew getting into the school of her dreams meant a lot of hard work, but she didn’t imagine it would be this hard, especially with the holidays coming just around the corner. Not only did Marinette have four exams to take on Monday and only one weekend to study for them, she also had to find the time to miraculously buy everyone presents.

But finding Christmas gifts were the least of her worries— Right now, Marinette had her brain hardwired to pass finals. In fact, she was in the middle of taking an exam right now. Albeit, it was only for practice, it might as well have been the real thing, given the very real anxiety and frustration twitching at her fingertips as she clicked away her answers.

She had just gotten to the last question on her test when a little window popped open at the lower right corner of her laptop.

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Imagine Figuring Out Right Away Who “Matt The Radar Technician” Is And Finding Him Adorable

Originally posted by nbcsnl

Originally posted by astrology-zone

(Same reader as in this and this imagines!)

You couldn’t help giggling when you saw “Matt the Radar Technician” walking down the hall, instantly knowing his face behind the large, dorky glasses he wore.

“What are you laughing about, Y/N?” Hux asked you, as you were both walking down the hall together.

“N-Nothing!” you quickly covered your mouth with your hand, now laughing at both Kylo’s disguise and Hux’s obliviousness. “Uh, ahem, uh, Matt? I’d like to speak with you for a moment.” You tried to sound authoritative, but Hux just rolled his eyes at you.

“You’re wasting your time, Y/N,” he said.

“No, no, this is perfectly productive,” you started to laugh as you pulled “Matt” down the hall and into an alcove, where he glowered down at you.

“This isn’t funny, Y/N,” he said. “I’m doing this for a very serious invest-”

“But you’re so cute!” you squealed, pinching the Knight of Ren’s cheek. “Look at your cute, dorky glasses! And the hair! I…gah, I just wanna hug you!”

“I don’t hug people,” Kylo deadpanned.

“Please?” you gave him your best kicked-puppy look, “Just one hug for your favorite not-commanding commander?” Kylo sighed, and gave you one very awkward hug, which made you start bouncing happily in his grip.

Hux, meanwhile, was watching you both with confusion and disdain, wondering how you could possibly be so…not like a First Order commander.

(For Anon)

mens-frights-activist  asked:

sam showing bucky how to use video as a way of recording things he doesn't want to forget, to assuage his fear of losing things -if- he ever gets captured and wiped again. and then video leads into phone video which leads into vine, and bucky starts having fun with what he can squeeze into 6 seconds of video, and his vine account gets tons of followers and it's a huge boost for him because it makes him feel like these little things he's remembering are important objectively

and to other people rather than just in his own fucked up brain. mostly it’s sam and steve and nat doing things, but Steve isn’t good at picking out when bucky is just holding his phone and when he’s recording, so almost every steve vine is candid, and then bucky starts doing funny things like recording himself drinking a glass of water while deadpan staring into the camera while steve is in the background trying and failing to balance on one foot while he ties his shoes

and then it becomes a game of what he can catch steve doing while they just go about their routine, like dancing secretly or spiling something or cursing because his computer isn’t behaving, and not only do those vines get so many hits and get circulated on tumblr because they’re so funny but bucky also gets to capture their daily life, which is always precious to bucky and he never wants to take it for granted, AND he gets to make fun of steve so its win win win

anonymous asked:

my headcanon is that, after widowmaker and tracer starts dating, amelie gets really clingy whenever lena's around, holding her hands, hugging her from behind, any sort of physical contact really, no one makes any comment on it because they don't have a death wish but its funny to see someone like amelie being affectionate.

OH!!!!! That’s so cute though and yeah I can totally see it. 

She does these things with a completely deadpan look on on her face, she’s the ultimate tsun. But Lena knows and is smiling like a fucking loser the entire time.

Say for example Lena is hanging with her squad, literally chatting away while in Amelie’s lap. Her arms around her chin resting on her shoulder, looking utterly bored and holding her close. Lena can’t be as animated but she’s just beaming and it takes awhile for the others to get used to it. 

I think at first D.Va is the only one brave stupid enough to attempt to say something but she is quickly silenced with a glare that might kill if she willed it so. Since then no one says a thing about this clingy spider woman. Keeping in mind the height difference this is hysterical and I love it. 

zodiac signs and puns
  • aries: laughs at every pun, especially their own puns, and cannot stop even if it was terrible
  • taurus: knows like one pun that they think is really fucking hilarious and they make it whenever possible
  • gemini: almost exclusively makes puns that are completely nonsensical
  • cancer: loves puns unironically, winks at you every time you catch one they made
  • leo: has never made a pun in their life, laughs respectfully at other people's puns but internally doesn't get the point
  • virgo: makes a pun and then makes this shit eating grin and "aaahh?? aaahhhh???" noises until you laugh
  • libra: literally just puns nonstop and they are all obnoxious
  • scorpio: will murder you if you make one but they secretly think it's funny as hell
  • saggitarius: makes really mediocre puns but also does fingerguns every time as if they are smooth as fuck
  • capricorn: deadpans every pun so you're not even sure if it was intentional
  • aquarius: gets really annoyed at other people's puns but laughs for hours at their own
  • pisces: makes a pun and then is immediately smug bc they think they're So Clever

anonymous asked:

My favorite part about Larry moments w/ Niall is that Niall ALWAYS has that deadpan look on his face its so funny

I know just look at him 

Louis has major tunnel vision @ Harry’s face while Niall’s just standing there emotionless 

then that “there they go again…” look on his face

Harry could be whispering the chicken wrapped in parma ham recipe seductively in his ear and Niall’s like ………wyd

he enjoys their company so much though

and he knows 

sarcasmwithasideofsass  asked:

23 maine and wash

23. Cat

In which Maine and Wash adopt a cat and Wash still hasn’t learned the state capitals. 

Wash had his face almost pressed up against the metal bars of the cage, peering in to get a good look at the cat inside. It was a big fluffy one, possibly a Maine Coon, and as soon as it saw Wash it walked over, rubbing up against Wash’s hand and purring like a motorboat.

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