Because I Love You (Part IV)
James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes x Reader
Summary: Can Bucky finally make things right?
Warnings: Angst, Cheating, Modern!AU, Swearing
For the last time, sorry to those named Adley!
Bucky fiddled with his fingers. It took him a lengthy lecture from Steve and a multitude of blue, black and green discolouration on his left arm, courtesy of Natasha, for him to find out where (Y/n) was. Remorse crawled all over him when he first heard of her location- Santorini, Greece. Of all places she could’ve choose to go, she flew to the place he promised he would take her on their Honeymoon. So there he was, sitting in the Taxi, gazing out the window and wondering how this breath-taking scenery could’ve played out very differently.
“Sir, you have arrived,” the driver said.
Bucky shot him a tight-lipped smile before muttering a short ‘thanks’. He passed the driver enough cash and got out of the car. A rush of sea breeze greeted him, thank God he decided not to slick his hair back today. Bucky remembered very clearly that (Y/n) preferred his hair fluffy and untamed. She mentioned that the slick back style reminded her of his work mode and she’d rather see him unwind and relax. The hotel looked exquisite. Despite the simplicity of the blue and white architecture, it looked cozy and welcoming.
Bucky didn’t bother paying too much attention to the interior and the decorations. He has an objective, an aim, a goal to accomplish. And he’d be darned to let (Y/n) slip away from his grasps once more. Bucky walked up to the reception and cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the woman behind the desk.
“May I help you, Sir?” she asked.
“I was wondering if you could tell me the room number of (Y/f/n) (Y/l/n),” Bucky’s response was immediate. The receptionist froze, eyeing Bucky and scrunching her perfectly lined brows.
“Providing a customer’s information to strangers is beyond my rights, Sir. I’m sorry, but I cannot afford to do that.”
“Look, I know it is. And you can put the blame completely on me! I swear! You can tell them I threatened you with a knife or a gun or… I don’t care. I just want to know where (Y/n) is!”
The speculating gaze of the woman remained unwavered. Bucky huffed out a sigh, brushing his hair back with his right arm.
“Miss, I’m really sorry about this, but I really do need to know where she is. She’s everything to me but I… I fucked up, and I want to make things right. So please,” Bucky pleaded, voice quavering.
“Don’t worry about him, I’ll take care of it,” a new voice offered from behind him.
Bucky’s head snapped up, ears perking up from the sweet, melodious voice he longed to hear. His eyes laid upon the familiar figure and there she was.
He wanted to tell her that she looked stunning, with that not-too-short floral shorts and plain white blouse, but he would be lying. (Y/n) may look gorgeous, but Bucky could undoubtedly see everything the woman was hiding underneath all the light layers of makeup. The dark circles beneath her eyes were well concealed but not to him, never to him. And those eyes, they weren’t opened as wide or looked as aware as they once were, her (y/e/c) orbs were dead. Her focus turned to him, and his breath hitched.
The walk was short and silent. Bucky spent the entire time staring at (Y/n)’s back. He was reciting all the things he wanted to say to her in his mind, and he has been reciting them ever since he got on the plane. (Y/n) stopped in front of a door, unlocking it and entering inside. Bucky timidly followed and glanced around. The room was clean, sheets were perfectly made and there were no traces of anyone living there, which was odd considering the fact that he had been informed that (Y/n)’s been here for a week. His eyes fell to the luggage sitting in the corner of the room, and everything clicked.
“You’re leaving today?” he asked, the nervousness that had enveloped him took away all the words he originally planned on saying.
(Y/n) did not provide a response. She continued towards the balcony and stared off ahead. Bucky took small, soft steps, afraid that she may not want him near her. (Y/n), though, was nonchalant about it when Bucky landed beside her. The scenery, as astonishing as it was, couldn’t contain her raging heart. The warm and painted skies of Santorini wasn’t enough to help her get a hold of herself. It has been a long time since Bucky and her had been this close, and it was riling her emotions up more than she’d like to admit.
“Why are you here, James?”
“I want to make things right,” he replied. Bucky turned to look at her; the wind swept her (y/h/c) strands from her face, while her face had a soft glow thanks to the Sunset. Looking at her, standing right next to him after everything that had happened gave him courage.
“(Y/n), I’m sorry. I truly am. And you can blame me, hate me, punch me after this but I need to explain to you why I did it. I need you to understand-”
“No James,” (Y/n) cut him off. She finally turned and looked at him, “I don’t
want to know why you did it. I want to know how you feel.”
“I want to know of your feelings towards Adley. I want to know your feelings towards me. I want to know what you want me to do, what you want me to say. I want to know what you want for your future.”
Bucky blinked. He was never good with words and feelings, (Y/n) knew that. So why was she asking this from him? Bucky gulped and decided that it’s time to let his heart take over. If that’s what (Y/n) wanted, so be it.
“I don’t love her,” he started but the sharp gaze (Y/n) held towards him told him this wasn’t the answer she was looking for, so he dug in deeper, “She’s a wonderful person. She’s caring and modest, mature and forgiving, but she’s different. She tries to understand me, she tries to look into my head because she wants to help, but you told me that you would wait for me to reveal things to you myself. She always asks me about the things we do together, to make sure it’s in my comfort zone, but you… you would force me to get out, to try new things and to expand my world. She’d ask me about work, you know, trying to help me get some load off my chest, but you would take me into your arms and hold me, whispering childish stories into my ear so I’ll get my mind off of it,” Bucky inhaled slowly, trying to keep his tears at bay. He needed to convey his words to you, “She’s a great woman… but she’s not you.”
Bucky had to pause for a bit because he didn’t want her to hear the pathetic sobs of his, not when she should be the one in pain instead of him.
“What do I want you to do? I want you to tell me that I’ve messed up. I want you to scream and shout at me, to be mad at me, to hit me. I want you to look me in the eyes with tears in your own and just… burst! Yell out what I did wrong, yell out how stupid I’ve been, yell out what you imagine our future would’ve been before I fucked things up! That way I know at least, you still care, that way I would’ve known what I would want for my future as well…”
By the time Bucky finished all he needed to say, his head hung low and his form was shaking, wracked by the barrage of tears streaming down his face. He couldn’t see it, but (Y/n) was in the exact same state. He imagined this to be the last words he said to her, and he gasped in horror and denial. He wanted his last words to be meaningful, to be memorable for her, but that seemed impossible after all he’s put her through.
(Y/n)’s hands were up on her mouth, covering her trembling lips. She managed to hide her sobs well, she believed. Either that or Bucky was so into his speech he didn’t notice the whimpers she had let out. (Y/n) closed her eyes, the war raging inside her was too much. As her brain was spewing excuses as to why she shouldn’t give him another chance, her heart was making itself clear- Bucky loves her. She didn’t need to know the reason why. She wanted to trust herself, to believe that she understood Bucky well enough to see for herself the logic behind his actions. After all, the past had its turn on changing the present, but it’s the present that has the power to change the future. That’s why (Y/n) needed to know how Bucky felt.
“Hello?” (Y/n) answered her phone, the number unknown.
“Uhm… hi, (Y/n) right?” the voice replied.
“Yes, and you are?”
“It’s Adley. I need to talk to you.”
(Y/n) paused. What
did Adley need? Did something happen to Bucky?
“Is there something you need?”
“We broke up,” Adley chuckled awkwardly, “It’s not that we were truly together anyway.”
“I, I’m sorry?”
“(Y/n), he loves you. He really does. You may think that he loves me, but he doesn’t. He never did. And I’m just here to tell you that. Have a good life, (Y/n).”
Before (Y/n) could say anything, Adley hung up. (Y/n)’s mouth was opened slightly, eyebrows furrowed. She sat down on the chair on her balcony and found herself repeating Adley’s words in her head. It’s been months since she heard anything from Bucky. She assumed he finally got his happy ending, so why did the brunette call? Her cell phone rang once more, snapping her out of her daze, this time with a recognizable contact.
“Hey Nat, what’s up?”
“(Y/n), you might be mad at me… and Steve, he’s in on this as well, but you have to listen carefully,” Natasha spoke with such intensity in her voice, “Barnes is on his way to you.”
“What?” (Y/n) stood up, “Nat, what? I mean, I’m leaving today!”
“So? Just call in and delay your checkout, he should be there by evening.”
“I just… What about my flight?”
“The same shit. Tell them to change your flight to a later one.”
“No buts (Y/n). Listen to yourself, I told you Barnes is on his way and you haven’t even reprimanded me about telling him your location! You love him, and… as much as I hate to admit it, he loves you. So just do what you need to do. Call me when it’s over.”
(Y/n) choked on a sob again, louder this time, and Bucky finally looked up. When he saw his best girl crying, he willed his feet and moved towards her. Bucky wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her in the warmth she was always used to. And both of them broke down in each other’s arms.
“I’m sorry,” Bucky whispered, “I love you. I love you so, so much (Y/n).”
(Y/n) didn’t struggle, she didn’t push him away nor did she retaliate. She nodded her head.
“I love you too, Bucky. I love you so much.”
Bucky smiled. He loved her, and he won’t make the same mistakes again. He will give her everything she deserves. He kissed her forehead, appreciating the raw emotion they were feeding from and to one another.
(Y/n) loved him, that much was clear to her. Her arms around his torso gripped tighter as she took in the familiar and soothing scent she had missed from the past few months. She felt the love Bucky has for her, and if giving him another chance meant giving their loving future a possibility, it was more than enough.
A/N: And that’s the end of it, guys. Thank you so much for reading this series, and I’m really sorry if you are unsatisfied with the ending. I wanted to make it a contrast to how usual cheating fics are. Please don’t hesitate to leave me a reply on this post itself or in my ask box. Thank you so much.
Also, side notes:
@hollycornish, I know what I replied to your ask, but I thought sticking to this would be a better ending. Hope you enjoyed it.
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