it's hard working for danny rand

poly defenders + reader

ask: @thefangirlhasarrive “Then senpai, can i request for aome more headcanons for Defenders poly?”

a/n: ;^) ofc i don’t think i could ever get tired of writing poly defenders its some Good Stuff

  • it’s so hard to schedule dates, because all of you have such different schedule!!!
      + because not only are you working, but the four of your loves are heroes for hire. 
       + plus, when they actually do all have free time, they mostly want to sleep, so, of course, you join them, but when they’re all well-rested you force them to go out and have fun.
         - luke is literally the only one who can socialize normally. matt is a flatterer, jess is jess, and danny is socially awkward.
  • can you imagine going to the store with them?? because it’d be an Absolute Mess
       + first of all, danny would have to sit in the car because he wasn’t wearing a shirt. jessica wants to leave him in the heat because he “deserves it for being stupid”, but you go back and turn on the car so he doesn’t die of heat stroke.
       + after that all happens, you both split up, especially if it’s a big store because y’all HATE shopping because at least 15 people will stop and ask “hey are you those defenders??”
       + it’d have to be you and jess and luke and matt, or you and luke and jess and matt, because are UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you and matt to shop together. you are an impulsive shopper and matt loves buying you things so you two usually break the bank.
       + jess can live off of alcohol and oyster crackers so you and luke have to watch her diet to make sure she’s eating fine.
       + you guys would come out about… 30 dollars over budget because somehow a few items not on the list managed to sneak their way into the cart (it was you).
  • sharing clothes is also a thing you guys don’t do intentionally, but it just happens. 
       + like, it’s not abnormal for you to go out wearing jess’s sweats, danny’s shirt, luke’s hoodie, and matt’s shoes. each one doesn’t fit perfectly, but it smells like them, so you’re fine.
         - jess smells like booze and cheap soap; danny smells like sweat and body spray; luke smells like good cologne and gunpowder (you know why); and matt smells like aftershave and books.

Jeryn: Danny…this is expensive.
Danny: Yeah?
Jeryn: And it’s – I mean–
Danny: It’s the Nautilus, Jeryn.
Jeryn: That’s fiction, Danny.
Danny: It’s expensive fiction now, Jeryn.
Jeryn: Danny–
Danny: Jeryn.
Jeryn: Can you at least tell me – so I can tell our financiers at Dongxi/Rand – just precisely why we’re suddenly in the deep sea excavation business?
Danny: Nope.
Jeryn: Danny, dammit–
Danny: And it’s not me being glib, or space-cadet Danny, or reckless. Jeryn, there’s something in my head that stops me from talking about it. Something–magical.
Jeryn: Great. Because at Dongxi/Rand we love million dollar magic expenditures.

– From Defenders #5 by Matt Fraction, art by Mitch Breitweiser