it's hard to tell for sure!

Top 13 Most Unfuckable Men in Dragon Age (according to me, a lesbian)

Honorable Mention: Oghren

I am not including Oghren on the official list for a couple reasons. Firstly, jokes about how gross Oghren is are basically everywhere. I can’t make a remotely original joke on this subject because they have all already been made. Secondly, I don’t want to subject anybody to actually thinking about fucking Oghren. And third, it’s no fun punching down. Nobody likes Oghren except me. And I get it. Oghren is a pretty cool character who was grossly mishandled by writers who think sexual assault, alcoholism and homophobia are hilarious jokes and not serious issues. Sorry about all this, Oghren. Enjoy your free pass from being mocked by a lesbian on the internet.

13. Zevran Arainai

Zevran is the least unfuckable man in Dragon Age because he wouldn’t make it weird. He’d give you a nice lay, do a good job, and then high-5 you afterwards. He’s nice-looking and experienced and would overall be an almost not-unpleasant experience. If there was a gun to my head and someone forcing me to pick a Dragon Age man to fuck, it would be Zevran.

12. RDP Sten

I say Realistic DAO Project Sten and not regular Sten because frankly RDP Sten is the true Sten. Honestly, look at this man. Assuming you didn’t die during intercourse, he’d make you breakfast the next morning, then reshackle your roof and do your taxes. RDP Sten would take care of you. RDP Sten would treat you right.

11. Justice

…as long as he gave Anders’ body a bath first, because wow he sure is a guy who lives in a sewer. Justice is a friendly Fade spirit curious about the mortal world and its many wonders. Fucking Justice would be a nice opportunity to show an otherworldly being a good time. Not to mention the novelty. Think of the puns you could make afterwards. “It was a spiritual experience.” “It was truly righteous.” “Justice isn’t easy–no, Justice is hard.”

10. Varric Tethras

Varric would be the ideal sugar daddy. He’d indulge you, buy you nice things, tell you stories, and when it’s time to go to bed, you’d just have to put up with him bringing his crossbow with him. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t even get to the sex. You’d have half your clothes off and then he’d start telling a story and three hours later he’s cried a little about his ex and fallen asleep cuddled up to his crossbow. Meanwhile, you are free to go back to your house with your money and jewelry. Ideal.

9. Alistair

Alistair is inexperienced, but a nice boy. You could show him a good time, and then pat him on the head and give him a cookie afterwards. He’s funny and nice and if you aren’t his first lay, it’ll probably be Morrigan and she would probably turn into a spider halfway through just to fuck with him. I’m willing to fuck him just to spare him that being his first time. Alistair might make it weird and try to give you a flower or something, but he’s young and easily dissuaded. Fucking Alistair would be acceptable and satisfying in some ways.

8. Iron Bull

He ugly, but otoh, monster dong, if you’re into that. Iron Bull wouldn’t make it weird emotionally, but he would definitely make it weird sexually. Assuming you survived, you would have a hell of a story. I would bring that up at every cocktail party I went to for the rest of my life. “I fucked a minotaur man,” I’d say, sipping my martini. “He had an eyepatch, and a dong the size of your forearm. I’m lucky to have survived.” The party guests gasp and fan themselves at the scandal.

7. Nathaniel Howe

I have no feelings either way about fucking Nathaniel Howe. I would show up, do the deed, and leave. Maybe give him a thumbs up, to be polite. My entire soul doesn’t rebel against the concept, but neither can I think of any benefits to fucking Nathaniel Howe.

6. Sebastian Vael

I wouldn’t hate to fuck Sebastian, and he seems nice, I guess. He’d be on par with Nate, except for the fact that he’s a devout fantasy Catholic. I’m morally opposed to fucking Catholics, because I don’t like Catholicism, and because I don’t want to deal with their ensuing guilt. I would tolerate fucking Sebastian.

5. Fenris

Fenris is objectively one of the best-looking men in Dragon Age, but oh lord, the canon romance path is so much. I’d do it just so I could touch his pretty hair, but I’d feel real bad about it. I like fenris. I don’t wanna cause him troubles. On the other hand, Isabela seems to manage it without much emotional fallout, so perhaps it would be alright. Fucking Fenris might be perfectly fine, but it might end terribly for all involved. As a lesbian I’m not gonna risk it.

4. Anders

Anders is a nasty sewer man who has no particularly attractive physical features to make up for it. He’d probably be an alright lay, but if you fucked him he’d definitely fall in love with you. Possibly he’d have already been in love with you for like three years. Then post-fuck he’d say a lot of weird stuff and ask to move into your house, and you’d be so worried about his eating habits and his stress that you’d be like “sure :)”, and then you’d have to change your name and flee the city to escape. Don’t fuck Anders.

3. Blackwall

I previously had Blackwall a spot higher, but then when I went to google a picture of him I realized he actually looks okay. Lumberjack aesth. Nice beard. Probably nice chest hair. Good muscles. But he’s also kind of a stinky old man who is kind of like your dad, and he would make his weird guilt issues your problem. I’d rather not, although I grant that if he was a couple decades younger he might be Acceptable.

2. Cullen

I would really hate to fuck Cullen. I find him morally repugnant, physically unimpressive, and overall vile. Not to mention that he seems like the kind of sexually inexperienced dude to just try inserting Tab A into Slot B with no foreplay–but then, would you really want foreplay from this guy? At least it would all be over within 5 minutes and then you could make your escape through the window.

1. Solas

Solas is the absolute most unfuckable man in Dragon Age. Not only is he bald, and a genocidal maniac, but he would also get weirdly hung up on you. Then he’d like, haunt your dreams. “Vhenaaaaaaan,” you hear every night forever, to your horror. “You’re not like other girls,” he says, before showing you a picture of his fursona, which is a wolf. I would rather do literally anything else but fuck Solas. I thank G-d every day that Solas is not real, and that I am in no danger of ever fucking him. Solas is the least fuckable man in Dragon Age.

college witch tips!

being a witch and living in a tiny dorm or apartment is a hassle… but here’s some (cheap and easy) tips to make your life a lot easier coming from a college witch!

quick note: if you are a student, you can get six months free of amazon prime with a student email account, and from then on out prime is only $50 instead of $100! amazon is a great place for tons of cheaper witchy resources (and really worth it for textbooks).

💎 crystals! whether you’re sharing a room with someone or in a room by yourself, plenty of people collect and use crystals. check for local flea markets or see if there is an occult shop in your area, there’s bound to be some there. great starter crystals are clear quartz (an essential crystal), amethyst, and rose quartz!

📚 the library! your school library will have some sort of resources. also don’t worry about people thinking you’re strange for checking out books on magick… i promise they don’t care!

🕯 candles and incense! when i lived in a dorm, i hated not being able to light candles and burn incense. invest in some battery powered candles! you can get packs at local dollar stores or walmarts. as for aroma related magick, purchase some oils and mix them with some salt water and spray them around your room! oil warmers or wax warmers are also wonderful alternatives. 

📖 a grimoire/book of shadows! i highly suggest keeping a personal book. no, you don’t have to get some elaborate leather bound book that came straight out of hocus pocus for it to be legit. you could find a sketchbook somewhere, use a three ring binder, or buy a hardback book at a thrift store and paint over the pages! your book is what you make of it. it is your own novel of personal magical experiences and knowledge, so make it your own!

🌵 plants! invest in cacti and succulents especially if you are a beginner or live in a tight space, they’re easy to manage throughout the rough mishaps and late nights of school work. cacti are great for protection and banishing negativity, where succulents bring love and healing. both plants can represent the ability to survive through conditions others cannot. if you have a balcony, take advantage!

⚗️ jars! now is a great time to collect containers from thrift stores, gather old pickle jars, and look for sales and coupons craft stores may have since most of them will have all sorts of neat jars.

🔮 an altar! if you don’t have a roommate to worry about, great! do your thing. if you do (and the don’t exactly seem cool with the whole witch thing), you can make a subtle altar of candles, crystals, and some plants or flowers. they don’t have to be elaborate. you could keep a small altar in a shoe box or draw one in your bos/grimoire! get creative!

✍️ sigils! use sigils. abuse sigils. put them everywhere. write them in binders or on your skin, write them on sticky notes or ripped paper and put them places you’ll see them or bury them outside. sleep with a protective one under your pillow. there’s so many things to do and its so easy to use them!

🎨 get creative! you can make crystals out of salt (another thing you should invest in), learn how to read playing cards if you can’t afford a tarot deck, and never forget you can find the coolest things at thrift stores. paint can be your best friend!

☕️ tea and coffee! a keurig is a wonderful investment. whether you like coffee or tea, it gives you boiling water fast without leaving a dorm. enchant your keurig and remind yourself of the properties in your drink to help you learn.

✨ decorating! take advantage of things like twinkle lights and washi tape! if you don’t know about washi tape, its a decorating tape that does not damage walls. create constellations or sigils with washi tape on your walls! amazon also sells many cheap tapestries. give yourself a comfortable and pleasant space to live and work!

⏳ plan! enchant your planners to help you remember due dates, and while you’re at it, keep track of moon phases and other events! many calendars will tell you when full moons are.

⚖️ meditate! this is something i find very important to stay sane during hard semesters. if you have a roommate, maybe meditate in the morning or late at night laying in bed. you could also meditate when they have classes. its okay if you cant every day, but its important to remember to save time for you.

🏃‍♀️ walks! if you live in a dorm there’s a big chance you’ll be walking to class. enjoy these walks with nature, read outside every now and again, but make sure that you are always safe.

⏱ take your time! you do not have to collect all of these things in a week, month, or even year. witchcraft is all about intent and energy. you hold the power, the items are only there to help. manifest your own power, collect at your own pace.

🔎research! always research properties of things. buy cheap dried herbs from grocery stores and work with them, figure out what to put in your coffee to help you with your day, and learn how to enchant crystals to help you feel a little more confident about your studies. most importantly, learn to balance your studies and your witchy research, and don’t let witchcraft get in the way of your schoolwork. school should come first always!

i hope this helped some of you college witches, new and experienced! i am always open to answer questions! happy casting!

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Trump is threatening them if they vote against the bill, if you’re their constituent (or know someone who lives in their states), call them and make sure these reps know they answer to the American people and not to Trump.

Vote will take place on Thursday, March 23 - tell them to vote no on AHCA aka Trumpcare.

Mother of (No) Mercy

So it’s my second time DMing ever and my 8 year old cousin wanted to have a D&D themed birthday party. I’m familiar with 3.5 so I’m glad to do it. So him and his brothers, the oldest of which is 14, and his parents, both in their forties, all play.

I make up an original Island Adventure scenario that’s basically a fetch mission for a magical item they can trade the locals for a boat to go home in.

So they were deep into the jungle of the island and hadn’t fought anything too damaging. But then I set them up against a Giant Constrictor that started to give them a run for their money. They had it down to less than half health when the monk (the 8 year old’s character) was knocked unconscious.

Me: And the Snake manages to grab a tight hold of Gantea. Thora (the mother’s fighter) is up next.

Fighter OOC: Can I shout a battle cry before I hit it with my warhammer?

Me: Sure, that’s a free action to me.

Fighter: RULES OF NATURE!

*Nat 20*

Table cheers.

Me: Ok, roll to confirm the crit.

*Nat 20 True Critical*

Table goes ballistic.

Me, in disbelief: So with the maternal savagery of a mother bear defending her young, you hit this snake so hard not only is its head taken off, but its entire skeleton is knocked clean from the skin. Gantea is no longer being constricted.

Fighter to Monk OOC: Remember this next time I tell you to clean your room.

Babygirl

Summary: Dan is an innocent virgin and Phil is the bad-boy who likes to make him flustered. High school Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil AU

Genre: Smut that’s kinda kinky but mostly cute

Word count: 4,039

Kinks: Feminization, daddy kink, dirty talk, a little verbal humiliation

You can also read on AO3 here.

Keep reading

The extrovert's guide in dealing with introverted personalities

SUBMITTED by Steve

INxJs

-They can come off as … weird. Very subjective term because really, who’s to say what’s weird and what isn’t. But given that INxJs are arguably the rarest types and usually out of touch with the physical and concrete, it can definitely make the more down-to-earth extroverts out there feel as though they are alien in some way. But don’t be fooled, because behind those ambiguous stares there is a storm-load of activity going on in their minds. 

- Their hunches can be incredibly valid. Unlike what the stereotype will have you believe, Dom-Ni is NOT a future-predicting function. For one thing, it’s very personal and subjective to each Dom-Ni user and some of them would probably disagree with each other on their hunches. However, they do have an ability to see things that a lot of us will miss. Not through any kind of mystical gift, but rather well thought out speculation. Even if they’re off, chances are they were still very wise in their assessment of things.

- There are usually your typical law-abiding citizen. (Good advice for everyone, not just extroverts) In complete contrast to the first point, INxJs may be way harder to spot than the stereotypes say. INTJs are not scientists working on a cure for cancer or world domination (depending where their Fi is at) and INFJs are not the next coming of Jesus Christ. A lot of them probably work in everyday jobs and there’s a good chance you’ve mistaken them for their S counterparts. Get to know them personally and you’ll see the difference.

ISxJs

- They are hard to get excited. Inferior Ne can be a bitch sometimes. Throwing fun suggestions at an ISxJ may often result in “Meh…” or “I don’t know…” Of all types, they are usually the hardest to pull out of their comfort zone. If you suggest something to them and they start bombarding you with questions such as ’‘What time? Who will be there? How does it work?”  etc. don’t get irritated because that actually means you’ve tickled their interest and now they’re just trying to cover all their bases. 

- They are experts in their fields. Si-Doms tend to have very few interests in life, but what does interest them, they probably know the insides and outs of it, like no other. They love to study at length what peaks their interest and in this case, their factual knowledge about things is usually second to none. They are the definition of “vested interest”. Also note that they are geeks in disguise, so just like NP types, do not criticize old stuff they have an attachment to. They still like something from the 80’s? Then so shall it be. Telling them it’s stupid for them not to move on is actually much more hurtful than it looks.

- Their loyalty and commitment cannot be doubted. If an ISxJ say they’ll do something, they’ll do it, ‘nuff said. Hell, even if it turns out that it’s actually an inconvenience to them. They just cannot back out of commitment. Of course, stuff can always come up at the last second, in this case, you’ll receive a rain check or heart-felt apology. If an ISxJ actually does flake out, that’s … not okay, but they were probably hesitant about it from the start. 

IxTPs

They are blunt. You want an honest and direct opinion? IxTPs will give you that faster than any other type. In many cases, it can actually feel brutally honest, so more sensitive types may wanna steer clear. Of course, if their opinion is splattered with insults and an impatient tone, then you’re dealing with an unhealthy type and that’s not okay. 

- They are “dispassionate.” Sounds like a really negative trait but what it really means is they are the embodiment of “objective.” IXTPs very rarely take things too seriously with a burning passion flowing through their veins. As of such, cynicism and sarcasm is very likely. Don’t take it the wrong way though, because underneath that, they can offer the most practical advice or at least see things as they are, with no bias and emotional tones tainting their view. And while that can definitely be off-putting, and it can also be extremely useful. 

Don’t try to turn a frog into a prince. I’m sure there is a better way to say this? What I mean is that Inferior Fe, even if healthy and mature, will always find it draining to keep up social appearances. You either appreciate this trait of theirs or keep looking elsewhere. But don’t expect to turn your IXTP love interest into a social butterfly overnight. 

IxFPs

- They march to the beat of their own drum. If Dom-Ni can be hard to decode, prepare yourself for Dom-Fi. Like a fire, it is burning, passionate and unpredictable. Sometimes, even IxFPs themselves can’t pin-point the reason they feel so passionate about a given subject. Don’t try to constantly size up a Fi-Dom, you’ll get exhausted. Even their closest friends and family often have a hard time reading what’s going on in their mind. Respect their privacy and their inner world and don’t force them to lay out how they feel on the table. 

- Support their causes. If an IxFP feels strongly about something, then this is unwavering to them. They will fight for what they believe in to the bone. You either support it or stay clear but telling them they’re wrong or it’s a waste of time may turn you into an “enemy” in their eyes. 

- Do NOT attempt to control them. Offering sound advice? Sure. But any shade of “You should do this…” not only falls on deaf ears but may actually cause them to do the exact opposite out of spite. Dom-Fi is the ultimate free spirit who wants to experience life on its own terms and Inferior Te does NOT want to be told what to do. This can be pretty hard at times though. You see an IXFP loved one acting recklessly (ISFP) or acting on a crazy idea (INFP) it’s only normal for you to want to steer them on a straight path, but in actuality it will be counter-productive. Just stay clear and let them learn from their mistakes, IF it’s actually a mistake to begin with. You’d be surprised how many times acting on one’s own accord can pay off in the long run. There’s many world-renowned musicians and artists who could probably vouch for that. 

Crack Theory: Real Motive Behind “The Jenna Thing”

Alison meets Jenna for the first time before going to Noel’s Halloween party and sees that she’s going as Lady Gaga. This new girl who is beautiful as the same person she’ll be? Alison quickly makes sure she tells Jenna she’ll be Lady G and she has to go as someone else.

At the party, she notices Jenna not only didn’t listen to her but outshined her as Lady Gaga, making Alison look like some biker chick with a wig.

So, she tried to subtly let Jenna know who runs things in RW, offering her in a spot in her circle (this way, Jenna will always be under her)

But Jenna answers to no one.

Being boldly rejected, Alison begins the salt. Nobody rejects Alison.

And on top of all that…..Jenna was flirting with Emily…something Alison peeped immediately and wanted to shut down before anything even started

All of that wrapped up, in just one night, Alison was threatened by Jenna’s dominate presence, the possibility of she dethroning her, and Emily “her girl crush” becoming interested in someone new aka Alison’s real motive for “The Jenna Thing”. Toby “being a creep” was just a cover story in order for her to message to send Jenna.

 “Know your place.”

  • Teacher: Alright, for career day, Ruby's uncle, Qrow Branwen will be speaking. He's a huntsman! Everyone say hello to Mr. Branwen!
  • Students: Hi Mr. Branwen-
  • Ruby: HI UNCLE QROW!!!!
  • Qrow, pulling out a flask: Alright kids. Do any of you want to be huntsmen or huntresses?
  • Some students: *Raise their hands*
  • Ruby: *Hops up in down in her seat as she rockets her hand up*
  • Qrow: Alright, the first thing you've got to know about my line of work is that picking your health insurance plan is very important. Now I know that going with the one that just covers combat injuries seems like a good idea, but it's NOT.
  • Qrow: *Swigs from flask*
  • Teacher: Um, Mr. Branwen, what are you dr-
  • Qrow: Vodka.
  • Qrow: Anyways, as I was saying. People you know are going to DIE. People you care about are going to LEAVE YOU. And when you eventually turn to alcohol, and you WILL-
  • Qrow: *Takes a swig*
  • Qrow: -You're going to go too far one night and need to get your stomach pumped, and that shit is EXPENSIVE. And then-
  • Teacher: Um, sir-
  • Qrow: Hold on, lemme finish. And then you're going to be hard on cash and have to crash at an old friend's house while you do wet work for Atlas of all kingdoms in an attempt to scrounge up enough money to get back on your feet. And you'll have to work with WINTER MOTHERFUCKING SCHNEE.
  • Teacher: Mr. Branwen, I think it's time for you to-
  • Ruby: TELL THEM THE STORY ABOUT THE BLONDE AMPUTEE GIRL!
  • Qrow: Oh yeah, that's the other thing about your health insurance. If you're ever going to Atlas, make sure your insurance covers STI's. There was this one time,
  • Teacher: Qrow Branwen! These kids are in 6th grade!
  • Qrow: 6th grade? Ruby, you're almost in middle school! Man, the time sure does fly.
  • Cooper Lawrence: I love how your fans love to speculate about every single syllable, everything you've written like, sweet creature, so i don't know if you saw this but this is my favorite thing. So all over twitter and social, they're sure that it's not about a girl, it's about Louis and that, you know, especially like two hearts in one home, it's hard when we argue, we're both stubborn, they're sure that that's about your relationship with Louis Tomlinson, is it?
  • Harry: I mean.... i think... umm... *makes uncomfortable noises*... i mean... i think everyone... people are always gonna speculate about what songs are about, um, and i don't think i'd ever want to tell someone that they're wrong, um, for feeling how they feel about songs even when they're not necessarily right. I think, you know, i think the fun thing in music is you get to, you get to write a song and that's all that you want to say on it and you don't necessarily have to explain it much more than that. But i think if you really listen to the lyrics i think you can work out whether it's about that or not and i'd lean towards no.

If someone just feels condemned when they talk to Christians and loved by unbelievers then is it any wonder when they reject Christ?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t call sin a sin, not by any means, but man, we need to make sure people know how loved they are.

any other autistic people do that thing where because of it being hard for you to detect sarcasm/social cues/etc you become paranoid that everyone is lying to you/making fun of you/uninterested/subtly trying to tell you to leave them alone but you cant tell, etc. its the worst

bonus if it manifests in ways like asking for clarification too much because you’re sure there must be SOMETHING you missed because it cant be that simple, and/or overkill on the “was that sarcasm”/”what did you mean by that”/”please just tell me if you need me to stop talking” 

Gay Ships IRL

So there are these two boys in my school, one of them is a punk dude and the other is a complete nerd. these two dudes are best friends and literally everyone ships them. the nerd one happens to be in all my advanced classes and talks to me about the punk one A LOT. I already know the nerd one is gay, but the punk ones sexuality is still unknown. These two boys are so protective over each other its unbelievable. In gym this one dude was joking around with the nerd dude and i guess it got way to aggressive because he punched him REALLY hard and he left a bruise on his arm, The punk guy sees this and gets really mad at the dude and yells at him for punching him to hard. He then goes over to the nerd, makes sure hes ok, and proceeds to look at the arm to make sure he is in fact ok. soMEONE HELP BECAUSE THESE BOYS WILL BE THE NED OF MEE!!  will keep story updated   

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@hpqueernet 

http://hpqueernet.tumblr.com/post/159672467125/basically-this-is-an-event-geared-toward-getting

Pansexual Luna


Luna has never liked labels: 

 • The first person she liked in a romantic sense was a young centaur named Artemis; who she met in her second year. 

• He sat with her and talked to her about the stars and there was something about him that made her feel accepted.

 • She’s sitting with Artemis in her fourth year, when he tells her that his partner is pregnant.

 • She is happy for him of course, but there’s an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach that doesn’t quite feel like indigestion.

• “Oh”, she thinks later, “this must be jealousy”

She never acts on it of course, but it does make her curious, Ginny only ever talked about liking boys, was she different?

 • She goes to the ministry with Harry & co and fights as hard as she can. Maybe it’s dangerous, she thinks, but at least it’s right.

In her fifth year, she talks to Cho. She tells her about Artemis, because the fawn has been born and she isn’t sure what to do. She’s not upset, but she’s not sure what she’s feeling about Ginny, and she doesn’t know of anyone else who has liked a Centaur and a Girl. 

• Cho asks her if she’s a lesbian.

 • “No I don’t think so, because Artemis was a male.” 

• Cho asks her if she’s bisexual.

• “What’s that?” Luna asks back, not sure she likes all these different terms.

• “Its where you like boys and girls.” Cho responds calmly, she understands this can be hard to grasp.

• Luna fiddles with the corkscrew necklace around her neck and feels a sense of unease within her. She doesn’t like restrictions.

• “Is there a sexuality where I can just like what I like? I don’t mind what someone looks like, or their gender, or anything else. I don’t want to limit who I can love. It’s what’s on the inside that counts.“ 

• Cho smiles and replies, and Luna rolls the word pansexual around in her mouth.

 -

 • In Eighth year, Luna is sure she likes Ginny Weasley. She’s very sure, actually

 • It was all a bit messy, because Harry and Ginny had a huge fight because the other didn’t seem committed.

• Later, Harry comes over to her and asks for her help. He doesn’t know what to do, because he thinks he has feelings for someone else, a boy. But he liked Ginny, he did, so what’s wrong with him?

 • Luna talks to Harry, and helps him understand that it’s not all black as white. Harry feels most comfortable with “bisexual”. Luna explains this to Ginny too, because Ginny doesn’t understand the difference between bisexual and pansexual at first, and Luna doesn’t like it when people get the two mixed up.

 • Ginny and Harry break up the next day. Luna smiles, because she saw the looks Harry was giving Draco long before this. But everything takes its time.

 • Luna is lying on the hill by the lake with Ginny in the summer. She’s got her hands outstretched, Ginny’s making her a daisy chain. She smiles.

• “Oh,” Luna thinks. “This must be what it feels like to be in love.

• Ginny kisses Luna after a quidditch game. She flew like a hurricane to the Gryffindor stands, where Luna could be found with Neville and Hannah Abbot. 

• Luna smiles all the way through the kiss, while the people around her all cheer.

 • Luna doesn’t like labels, but when Ginny holds a ring up to her with a hopeful smile on her face, Luna thinks “wife” sounds quite nice.


Alfred when a new family member comes in

- He finally got Bruce to give him a heads up when he is bringing someone home who might be joining the family.
- By the time the kid is at the manor, their bed is already made, spare clothes laid out (most likely borrowed from one of the other kids), and hot food waiting for them.
- By the end of the week they have their own set of clothes.
- He is the one who is up at 3am with the individual drinking tea or hot coca. They don’t even talk, just being there in case they need someone.
- Somehow he figures out their favorite foods without even asking them.
-If they don’t live at the manor, he sends food to them because he knows their address as well.
- When all the batkids are being their usual craziness, he is there to help the new member cope with it. Also telling them they will get use to it.
- Getting on Bruce’s case if he is being too hard on them. Reminding the others to play nice.
- Checking to make sure they get adjusted at school and their new life.
- Knowing exactly what they need. Sometimes its a cookie after patrol, a person to talk to, or just some space.
- Making sure they get enough sleep.
-Smiling to himself when he sees them joining in on early morning arguments or pulling pranks because they finally feel at home.

anonymous asked:

I love your observations on the teaser, and I agree with you. But who is eating the carrot? I say Sana but I just saw another online discussion where people are saying it's Noora? (And because Noora is eating Sana's carrot that means Noora and Yousef will have sex. I don't see that happening either)

Your timing is perfect because @sanaandthesun and I have been looking at nails and lips for a good hour and we think it’s Noora eating the carrot.

Personally I was looking at the teeth first but, from that angle, it’s hard to tell. Noora has a distinctive shorter tooth…on the right side of her face. And the shot is of the left side. Then the teeth look “bucktoothed” (English is not my first language, I wasn’t sure how to phrase that) but both Sana and Noora have slightly longer front teeth.
@sanaandthesun is now looking at teeth and mouths a lot but for me, personally, what sold it were the nails.

See Sana has well-kept nails. Often painted. She keeps them short but she does…keep them. You can see it here, in this gifset by @siwrenate.

You can see in the picture (and better if you’ve rewatched the teaser a hundred times…kill me) that the nails here are not just kept short: they’re bitten. They look like mine actually. Like someone’s been munching on them and doesn’t care about cuticles. And they’re unpainted.


And Noora bites her nails.

And doesn’t paint them.

The screenshots are not of very good quality, sorry. But you can see her nails are bitten and unpainted and unkempt.

So I think it’s Noora eating the carrot. I think it’s a metaphor for her having a relationship with Yousef (whether it stops at the kiss at the end of ep 5 or it continues). I think the trailer is about a reckoning. The clock is ticking and the elements of chaos are precipitating the falling action.

Christine and Chloe eventually convince Michael to tell Jeremy how he feels
Michael decides to do it over text since he doesn’t think he could handle doing it in person

Michael: Hey Jeremy can we talk? 
Jeremy: sure whats up
Michael: This is gonna be hard for me to say but
Jeremy: hey its ok take your time
Michel: I have a huge crush on you and I’ve had it for a few years now.  Sorry.
Jeremy: shit im sorry michael but I dont feel the same im sorry
Michael: Oh right yeah sorry dude didn’t mean to make this awkward haha
Jeremy: you ok
Michael: I’m sure I’ll be fine 

Michael’s crying at this point 
Both Chloe and Christine had convinced him to tell Jeremy because they thought he felt the same
But obviously, they were wrong
Of course they were
Why would anyone like Michael
He was annoying
Loud
Stupid
A loser 
A stoner
And to top it all off now he didn’t even have a best friend 

When Michael tells her, Chloe is all ready to fight Jeremy but Michael tells her to let it go
Over time the group splits
With Michael, Brooke, Chloe, Jenna and Christine in one grou[
And Jeremy, Rich and Jake in the other
Over time the two sides of the group lose most contact
Though Chloe and Jake still talk from time to time 

In his second year of college, Jeremy works out that he is definitely bi after a few nights at a club 
In his last year of college, Jeremy realises that he was actually in love with Michael 
But it’s too late to do anything about that 

Chloe invites both sides of the group to her and Brooke’s wedding  
Everyone shows
Except Jeremy
Michael tries not to let it get to him
But it does
He’s just so angry that Jeremy allowed all of this to become so awkward between them
They were meant to be a team
Player 1 and Player 2
Who cares if it’s platonic or romantic?
He just wants his best friend back

Rich and Jake’s wedding? No Jeremy 

When Brooke has her first kid? No Jeremy 

When Jenna gets promoted to head of her newspaper? No Jeremy 

When Michael is half asleep on his sofa with a glass of wine in his hand after looking after Christine Lohst all day? Of course that’s when he shows up 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 
Ugh they’re gonna start to shout soon
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Oh hell yeah I’ll open it soon
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
It sucks Chlo left me here alone
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Here in this toddler’s battle zone
CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG
I feel a headache coming up
BANG BANG BANG BANG
Is Chloe ever giving up?
Splash splash splash splash
Throw some water in my face
Now I’m in a better place I open up the door and - 

“JeReMy!" 
"MiChAeL!”
“Wait why are you surprised? This is my house”
“Christine said it was he- oh shit”
“Christine said what?”
“NOTHING”
“You’re a terrible liar Jeremy”
“But she didn’t say ANYTHING”
Michael raises an eyebrow
“Really?”
“Ok fine well she may have told me that this was her new apartment and so I was stopping in to visit her like I usually do”
“…you usually visit Christine?”
“…yeah”
“So are you two…”
“NO NO NO she’s not my type”
“Oh”
“Yeah”
“Why are you still here Jeremy? Christine’s not here.  Unless you wanted lil Christine in which case she’s sleeping in the guest room”
“Right yeah sorry.  I’m bothering you aren’-”
“You’re no-”
“I’ll jus-”
“You don’t ha-”
“By-”
“COME IN FOR A DRINK”
“Uh what?”
“Would you like to come in for a drink?”
“Oh I…”
“You don’t have to Jeremy, it was just an idea”
“No it’s ok I’ll come in”

Michael finds another wine glass
“Red ok?”
“Red’s perfect thanks”

“So Jeremy how’s everything? What are you doing now?" 
“Oh I’m a games developer”
“You don’t look particularly excited about that? That was like your dream job”
“Oh well normally people get really bored when I talk about work”
“Jeremy you’re talking to the guy who was tempted to play apocalypse of the damned with his adopted niece this morning”
Jeremy looks at up that
“Apocalypse of the damned huh? We never did finish it did we?”
“Never too late to continue”
Both of them look at each other and then there’s a quick scramble to the living room

“I don’t know how well it’s gonna work cos I obviously haven’t played it in years" 
“Dude the console doesn’t have a speck of dust don’t lie to me you probably played this yesterday”
“Shut up Mr Games Developer”
“Touché”
The loading screen comes up and it’s just like high school again
Just the two of them
Michael presses start an-
“UNCLE JEREMY”
Lil Christine comes in
“Uh hey Chrissie”
“Uncle Michael why didn’t you tell me Uncle Jeremy was gonna be here”
“I didn’t know myself”
“Mom’s gonna be so happy”
Both men look at each other
Michael speaks first
“Uh why?”
“Because mom is always talking about how you two should have been together and now you are!”

Jeremy and Michael both go bright red and neither of them speaks
“OH NO I BROKE YOU!”
Michael manages to get some words out  
“Nah Chrissie it’s fine.  Why don’t you back to bed and I’ll come in and see you in a moment”
“But I want to talk to Unc-”
“Christine Lohst - bed now”
“Fiiiiiiiiine" 

"I’m sorry about her”
“She’s not the one who’s apparently been telling her three year old that we should be together”
“Chloe has very strong feelings about what happened in high school”
“So do I”
Michael stares at him, saying nothing
 "I shouldn’t have let your feelings get in the way of our friendship and I’m so sorry that I did.  It was stupid and I hate myself for it"
“Wait shit no don’t say that.  I’m just as much to blame as you are.  It’s not like I really tried to keep our friendship together.  I thought it’d be easier to just let it fall apart.”
“So we’re both sorry and stupid and wish we could be friends again?”
“Definitely”
“Then I’m glad to be your new old friend Michael Mell”
“And I’m glad to be yours Jeremy Heere”
“I should probably tell you something though”
“What?”
“In my last year of college I worked something out - I was an idiot in high school.”
“We already said this”
“For another reason.  I was an idiot because I didn’t realise I was head over heels for you" 
"WHAT”
“I’m sorry Michael.  It took me so long to figure it out and I just rejected you in high school even though I felt the same”
“What about now?”
“What?”
“Do you feel the same now?”
Jeremy takes in Michael
His scruffy hair, his glasses that need to be pushed up, the oversized hoodie he still hasn’t gotten rid of and looks into his eyes
“Yes" 
"Oh”
“Oh?”
“Oh”
“Well, what about you Michael? Do you still like me?”
Michael doesn’t even hesitate
“YES”
“OH”
“OH”

anonymous asked:

Do you think that Peter has ADHD? Cuze I do.

I totally headcanon this, and I try to portray it in all my fics even though it is never outrightly stated in them. 

  • I figure that Peter was never diagnosed with it because if it doesn’t affect your grades than adults don’t seem to care whether it is diagnosed or not, but I feel Peter is the type of person to research it and be like ‘yeah I have this.’ 
  • So I imagine this is part of the reason that he stutters and trips over his words. We know he is super smart and so I think that coupled with the hyperness that is ADHD his brain is just going too fast for his mouth to keep up with. 
  • In my fics I always show him moving, whether he is tapping a beat on his knee or bobbing his head, I think that this is one of the ways he gets out his energy and need to multitask at all times (even if Peter doesn’t really think about it pertaining to his ADHD) but I am sure other people notice it and figure out why he is always moving. 
  • I picture Peter needing to stim at times, in order to get his brain to slow down and for him to think things through more logically. (And I think that the fact that he is constantly allowed to move as Spider-Man might be part of the reason that he doesn’t stutter while in the mask) 
  • Honestly, I always picture Peter stimming in some way (much like myself) in the lab I can see him throwing things around and in the end getting in trouble, and I picture him listening to repetitive music while studying and in the end rocking and bobbing around in his chair like a made man, before needing to burn off energy on Patrol. 
  • I’m not sure how much Peter would acknowledge it though. I don’t think he would blame his ADHD for some of the things it causes. Most people just look at it as being hyper and nothing else. And I think that might be the extent of Peter’s knowledge on the subject. 
  • So when it comes to his trouble remembering certain things he doesn’t find interesting, or having trouble paying attention, or getting distracted, or his brain floating off and him thinking about other things when he shouldn’t be, I don’t think Peter would make the connection that that was related to the ADHD. I think he would just blame himself for that sort of thing. (Like a lot of people do)
  • I think that it probably got worse once he hit puberty, and no one (other than Aunt May and closer friends) paid it much mind because his school work was staying pretty consistent. 
  • And I feel that for a while there, it was really hard on Peter, he was flying through most his school work, while some subjects (like English) he couldn’t seem to pay attention, and he didn’t know why. And that left him bored in some classes and lost in others. 
  • And for a time there, even his speech was getting a bit worse (which usually only happened when he was under a lot of stress) and it took a while for the teenager to figure out what helped him. 
  • Becoming Spider-Man helped, being able to burn off that energy and work through things while web-slinging (a repetitive and smooth motion) became something that helped his mind slow down. 
  • And he figured out a routine, doing certain things at certain times and giving himself breaks or jumping from subject to subject. And in class, if he was allowed to tap his foot (or sneak in his headphones and listen to music) that helped as well, it seemed like his mind needed more than one thing to focus on.
  • And hey, once he graduates and gets his own lab and space to work, he can come up with his own system and way of doing things, he can pound music as loudly as he pleases, or work on the ceiling, whatever he wants.