it's hard but i wont give up on him

Rumor
  • Minho: There's a rumor going around, you know.
  • You: What rumor?
  • Minho: Apparently there's this guy who really likes you but doesnt have the guts to tell you.
  • You: Who is it?
  • Minho: He'd kill me if I told you.
  • You: I thought we were best friends.
  • Minho: He's also one of my best friends.
  • You: Minho, you're only other best friends are Thomas, and Newt and it's definitely not one of them.
  • -
  • Thomas: Hey (Y/N), I heard about the guy who's in love with you.
  • You: Oh, so he's in love with me?
  • Newt: No he isnt.
  • You: Can't you shanks just admit that there is no guy. If there were, you'd at the least give me a name.
  • Thomas: Mm, no names. But you know him. *winks*
  • (walk away)
  • You: I know everyone in the bloody glade.
  • -
  • Minho: Do you want to know more about your secret admirer?
  • You: Not really.
  • Minho: And why not?
  • You: Because you shanks are playing with me.
  • -
  • Newt: You alright?
  • You: *laughs* Just doing my best to stay away from the boys and their secret admirer crap.
  • Newt: Don't think you have one?
  • You: Have you met the boys? Of course not. Besides if there were, I dont understand why he wouldn't talk to me.
  • Newt: Maybe he's afraid you won't like him back.
  • You: How will he ever know if he wont talk to me?
  • Newt: Give the shank a break, he's a shy one.
  • You: So you know him?
  • Newt: *under his breath* Better than you'd think.
  • -
  • You: The hints you gave me about the guy.. Are they true?
  • Minho: Yeah he's a shy dude, one of my best friends and won't shut up about you when you're not around.
  • You: I think I have a clue about who it is.
  • Minho: It's not all that hard to tell if your pay attention to the way he looks at you.
  • You: What if it's the guy I'm thinking of?
  • Minho: I think you know exactly who he is, (Y/N).
  • -
  • You: Guess what? I found out who the secret admirer is.
  • Newt: Oh..how?
  • You: Doesn't matter. Do you think now I know he'll grow a pair and ask me out?
  • Newt: If he does, will you say yes?
  • You: Only if he stops referring to himself in the third person.
  • Newt: Okay (Y/N), would you like to go out with me?
  • You: Y'know I always had a thing for boys with accents.

the conversation isak has with eva in the last ep of s3 is important because it isnt just isak talking about even-it’s showing that mentally ill people can-and will-be loved regardless of their illness. people are going to love us through relapses and episodes and on the days we cant get out of bed. isak being there for even on his good days and his bad gives hope to mentally ill people, and makes us believe we’re deserving of love and that we’re capable of having a functioning/healthy relationship, just like even.

5

Emma and her issues with trust

schoolboy~s.coups

*obv an upperclassmen

*you always ask for directions around the school bc ur like a freshman or something idk and he always gets greasy

* ‘only if you let me take you out on a date’

* ‘bruh im just trying to find the gym why wont you help me’

*you end up giving in bc ur already 10 mins late to ur class

*tbh seungcheol never shows up to class like hes always in the hallways

*or outside your class waiting for you

*you’re always playing hard to get and i dont think you even know u like him but lbr here.,, you do,,

*when the hallways are too crowded he literally pushes everyone with his hands on ur shoulders and ur in front of him

*hes like guiding you and its v cute

*one time this sophmore was like being a total jerk and seungcheol went up to them, pushed them against a wall, and threatened them

* ‘stop messing with my girlfriend’

*girlfriend?

*GIRLFRIend?

*GIRLFRIEND!?!?!!/1/

*you’re confused

*later that night you skyped him and were like

* ‘so im ur girlfriend now?’

*he just smirked

*didnt answer

*just smirked

*your dates are really cute

*like he is only a lil bit greasy on dates not too much tho thank god

*school carnival dates

*wins you so many stuffed animals

*also feeds you cotton candy and funnel cake

*when someone is checking you out when you’re out of school uniform..

*he is always protective and stuff but lets get back to the schoolboy aspect

*his uniform is always undone like his shirt isnt tucked in and his name tag is lopsided

*he finds it rlly cute when u fix it for him tho ;-)

*sometimes he purposely makes his name tag crooked and u dont even notice

*he wants to take you to events only for upperclassmen but ur so young and dont kno anyone??

*his grease forces you to tho

*you end up having a really nice time

*he gets in trouble a lot (mainly for skipping class)

*you sometimes get in trouble on purpose so you can have detention together

*its always fun bc eventually you break the rules so much that the adviser doesnt even care anymore and is like ‘go home pls i dont want to deal with you two’

basically, seungcheol is such a great oppa and takes care of you at his own risk. also likes to tease u bc ur a fetus :D

5 Seconds of Summer Song Preference- Amnesia- 5SOS

This is going to be quite lengthy so just a warning <33

Ashton:  When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Ice Cream and chick flicks is how I spend my Saturday night.  Thanks to my best friend.  And of course Carter.  I knew our relationship was weakening, I could see it in his eyes.  I could see his annoyance whenever I mentioned going on a date.  I could hear monotone whenever he said “I love you”.  I saw him fucking my best friend on the couch when I came home from the movies. 

He did apologize.  Not for sleeping with her; he apologized for my boring personality.  He told me that he did still love me, but he just saw no reason for us to be together anymore.  He thought the only reason I was dating him was so I had someone to hang on to. 

He quietly packing his things and left through the door.  I stood there in silence until I heard both of their cars leave. 

I angrily scoop another spoonful of ice cream when my phone buzzes.  I see that Amanda tried to text me again.  I unlock the phone and see what she said. 

Y/N I am so sorry hun.  Please forgive me we have been through so much we cant just end it over some stupid little thing!

I lock my phone and take another big bite.  How could Carter to this to me?  I gave him 100% commitment in our relationship.  I never thought about any other man, I always gave him space when he needed it, I did everything write.  Apparently not. 

These movies are starting to make me feel depressed so I go upstairs to re-arrange my closet.  For some reason organizing my clothes has always made me feel better.  Its kind of like starting over and leaving room for another life. 

I start with the top shelf.  Upon the shelf are dusty boxes I’ve stored but never looked at.  Old trophies, some ugly necklaces from my aunt, etc.  I pull down a brown paper package addressed to me.  I brush dust off the top and see a note scribbled on the top. 

I smile when I see who it is from.  Then I remember we haven’t talked in 6 months.

Hey weirdo,

Happy Birthday! 18 years ago I pushed you into a pile of mud and laughed.  Sorry.  I was new and I thought girls had cooties.  But your personality is what made us become best friends, even if sometimes I am tempted to shove you into another mud pile.

Love your stupid head,

Ash xx

I laugh at his ridiculousness.  I don't remember putting it here in the first place.  Actually, I don’t remember receiving it.  Why has it been up here for 6 months? 

I tear open the package and find a bouquet of wilted flowers.  My heart aches when I realize they are Daisy’s.  When we would get together, we would play Mario Cart and I was always Daisy.  He teased me for being such a girly character but he shut up when I beat him. 

Underneath the flowers is a big blue card with my name written in beautiful cursive.  I turn it around and tear open the card.  I open the paper and read the handwritten note from my best friend.

Happy Birthday Y/N!!  Holy balls your (grammatical error on purpose) 18 years old!  I really hope you like the flowers, I knew you would understand the second you got them.  I actually laughed while getting them because I remember the time when I was in first and you bumped me off the edge and you came in first and I came in like, 9th.  

But thats what I love about you, you play dirty.  Yeah, I said love.  Y/N I don’t really know how to write this on paper.  My hand is shaking like crazy and there is a basked filled with drafts of these.  But you see Y/N, I am truly, unconditionally, madly, deeply, desperately in love with you.  I always have been.  

I know that we are like brother and sister and this might make you feel totally awkward, but I want to be the one who kisses you goodnight, not Carter.

I love the way your smile lights up when you successfully accomplish something.  I love how your hands are so tiny compared to mine.  I love that little freckle below your ear.  You say you always hate it but I think it is the most beautiful thing in the world.  

I love how you hate Red Solo cups because you found a spider in one once.  I love how you refuse to sleep with socks on because it feels like your feet are on fire so you settle for freezing feet.  

I love how you end every text message with a heart because I know that you have a place in your heart for everyone.  

I love your sense of humor, and how you make the most awkward situations the most fun.  

I love how on lazy days you wear sweatpants and Carters over sized sweatshirts, even in the summer. 

I love you way more than Carter does or ever will.  And I know somewhere  you’ve known its always been me and not him because I can see it in your eyes every time I say goodbye. 

Y/N this is the hard part.  Carter doesn't want me to see you anymore.  I explained to him I love you and he punched me in the jaw.  He threatened me with a gun Y/N.  

After I send this, I wont be able to see you or talk to you anymore.  I hope you don’t feel bad if I don’t answer your calls or texts.  But I’m not giving up that easily.  Carter has probably stashed this somewhere, you may not even read it until your 30 but I’ll still be waiting for you.  

The second you realize that you love me back, call me.  I’ll know its you because of the gap in time.  Call me and tell me you love me.

And Y/N, just because I didn't answer your calls, doesn't mean I’m not your best friend.

Love always and forever,

Ash xoxo

My heart is beating so quickly when I finish this.  He loves me?  Jesus Y/N how could I not have known?  No, I did know.

Every time he came to my house with flowers and chocolate when I was feeling bad, every time he won me a prize, every time he made sure I had my seatbelt on first, every time he lent me $20, every time he let me cry into his shoulder, every time he showed up at my door in the middle of no where and played Mario Cart with me.  Every time he let me push him off the edge.  

I stand up and walk downstairs, each step coming up with more and more reasons of why I love Ashton.  My heart flutters when I see my phone and I scroll down until I see his name.  I havnt called him in so long so his voice almost sounds foreign when he answers.  But not foreign enough to know that he is still the one. 

“I love you to Ashton.”

Luke:  I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things; like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape

His P.O.V

Her laugh appeared in my dream again.  Her hair all messy, eyes bright, smile wide and white.  Her little giggle filled my ears and faded when I woke up.  My eyes are bloodshot and the covers are all disfigured.  I’ve been tossing and turning all night, I just cant seem to get her out of my mind.  Its all driving me crazy. 

I get up and walk over to my dresser.  I pull out my Nirvana T-Shirt and smell it.  At first it was my t-shirt, but then Y/N took it as her own.  We called it her t-shirt and she slept with it almost every night.  Her aroma stayed with the shirt, and when she left she gave me the decency of giving it to me. 

I look at the holes the shirt has from all the uses.  I remember how this shirt looked on her.  The bottom just reached her hips and the sleeves went over her hands, making the perfect tumblr hipster picture. 

I stuff my face in the shirt and cry.  I miss her god dammit.  There is nothing more that I want than to just forget about her.  I cant live like this knowing that I wasn’t there for her when she needed me most and now she is gone.  I want to forget about her.  Her face, laugh, smile, habits, personality, voice, everything.  I need too.

I grab my phone off the dresser and unlock it.  I look through my messages until I reach hers.  I haven’t deleted it after 4 months.  When she left I sent her a bunch of messages on how I love her and I’m sorry and I will try harder and she replied with one simple message:

I’m sorry

The next morning her dad called to say she has passed that night.  they checked her phone and said that I was the last person she texted.  she send that text 8 minutes before she took a handful of pills. 

I will never forgive myself.  I never knew she was in trouble.  I should’ve paid more attention to her, told her she was beautiful in person instead of on the phone.  There are a million things I could’ve done to prevent this. 

But I don’t have a time machine.

Calum:  The pictures that you sent me they’re still living in my phone
I’ll admit I like to see them, I’ll admit I feel alone

His P.O.V

I hear laugher at the front of the tour bus.  I know that they’re all having a really good time talking, and watching movies, and making dumb keeks, and everything that I want to avoid at the moment.

I sit at the back of the bus, scrolling through all her photos.  I have an album full of her smile, laugh, her stupid faces, weird videos we made when we were bored, anything that has her on it, is in this album. 

I take a look at the photo of her I took on Christmas.  She is wearing a Santa hat and her face is joyful from the puppy I got her.  I look at another one and she is still wearing the hat, and she is putting her nose up to the puppy’s. 

I remember that day so perfectly…

“Alright babe, I have one more present for you today.  Luke, please go retrieve the present."  I say.  Y/N puts on the Santa hat and rings the little bell at the top.  She smiles at me as Luke goes into the next room. 

"Close your eyes Y/N!” Luke says and she giggles and closes her eyes. 

“Okay!” she yells.  She smiles ear to ear as she reaches her arms out.  Luke walks in the room with a small German Shepherd puppy.  The puppy tries to get out of his grasp but he sets it in Y/Ns arms before he can.  She takes the puppy and a look of puzzlement comes upon her face but then she gasps and smiles.  She opens her eyes and looks at the puppy in her arms. 

“Oh my god!” she yells in excitement.  She holds the puppy up to her face and I take a picture.  She sets the puppy in her lap and looks at me.

“Calum this is the best present I ever got!  Thank you so much!” she exclaims as she pets the puppy.  “Oh wait take a picture!"  she holds the puppy in front of her face and brings her nose to his.  She smiles and I take the picture…

"Hey mate, we’re ordering some pizza and watching a movie, wanna come?"  Michael tells me.  I am put out of my trance and see him pointing his thumb over his shoulder where I can see Luke and Ashton looking at me. 

"No.  I’ll stay here."  I say.  He looks at me and nods, walking back to the other boys. 

"Told you."  Ashton says.  I don’t want to be with them right now.  I just want to be alone in my misery.  I am nothing without her and I now that.  No amount of pizza or movies is going to fix that.  I swipe to the left and see the delete button next to her album.

"I need to forget.” I think.  My thumb hovers over the button but I turn off my phone instead the throw in across the couch. 

Michael:  Tell me this is just a dream, cause I’m really not fine at all

Your P.O.V

I sit alone at home on Netflix.  A bowl of popcorn sits on my lap as I watch How I Met Your Mother.  I was going to go to the fair with my friend but a storm started so it got canceled.  So this is what a lonely Friday night looks like .  I normally would be with Michael tonight, but I ended our relationship.  He was away on tour too much and would always tell me that when he got home we would do everything together but most nights he would be out the other boys and doing interviews and maybe once a week we would have a special day together, if we were lucky.  Needless to say we was heartbroken.  I prop my feet up on the table and click the next episode.  Before it starts, I hear a knock on the door.  I close my laptop and get off the couch.  I open the door and Michael is standing in the rain.  His green hair is flat against his face and his shirt is drenched and sticking to his chest.  His eyes are red and puffy. 

“Michael what are you-”

“Tell me this is just a dream Y/N.  Tell me I’m not losing my mind every night because of some stupid mistake."  He takes deep breaths as rain drips off his hair and fingertips.  A huge clap of thunder erupts and I jump a little, bringing me back to reality. 

"Michael I’m sorry.  You weren’t with me.  Its like you were somewhere else and I couldn’t tell if you still loved me or not."  Tears start to form in my eyes but I wipe them away and try to be strong. 

"I’m sorry Y/N I really am and it hurts to know that you are not mine and you will someday be in the arms of another man and I cannot live with myself and not being able to call you my girlfriend is heart shattering.  Please take my back Y/N I will make up for all the lost day I promise  please Y/N I love you so much.”

I look at his sullen face and I feel quite sorry for him.  I know that he loved me, and I know that he loves me.  But I cant deal with anymore false promises. 

“I’m sorry Michael.” I say in almost a whisper.  I look down and slowly close the door.  I wait a second then look through the peephole.  He is still standing there looking at the door.  He starts to cry and takes his hands to cover his face.  I begin to cry too.  He takes a deep breath and walks away.  I step back and wipe my tears away.  I throw the popcorn away and run upstairs angrily. 

I walk into the bathroom and fun the water.  I cry while I undress myself.  I step into the hot water, hoping a nice bath will wash my worries away.

A/N:  I would like to thank clearlyashton and acidcxlum for helping me write this preference.  They are huuuuge inspirations for me and you should follow them yo.  The link thing isn’t working right now so don’t blame me.

Love you all!

-Anneliese<33

i want to be the super hot girl in the movies about nerdy teenage boys that all the guys in school want and this nerdy boy whos actually really hot is totally thirsting after but shes totally untouchable and hes all “nah dude shes totally out of my league” but then some random event happens and we are forced into some kind of awkward companionship and i start out being really annoyed with him and he tries really hard to impress me and ends up looking like an idiot but i secretly think its cute but i wont show it and then eventually he grows on me and we fall in love and all his friends give him high fives bc he finally got the girl i want my life to be like one of those movies that is my dream