it's grooming

2

“And apparently he’s like this because someone [pointed glare at Nina] left her brother with Velouria for an afternoon and she taught him to eat gARBAGE”

[related to these things]

so anyway

  • children should be taught the biological facts of how sex works
  • children should be taught the proper names for their own body parts
  • children should be taught that some people have different body parts and learn the proper names for them
  • children should be taught how to properly care for their personal hygiene according to their ability levels
  • children should be taught that no-one (including adults) should ever touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable (no matter the context)
  • children should be taught what’s going to happen to them during puberty long before it happens

keeping the biological facts of sex a secret from children is not helpful. telling children their “private parts” have no names and are shameful is not helpful. telling children they’re “not old enough” to understand basic facts about their bodies is not helpful.

teaching children their bodies are shameful is actively harmful. teaching children that sex is something inherently shameful and “adult” which should be kept secret is actively harmful.

children are not stupid. if you keep something a secret from them, they will internalize your behavior. even if they do not recognize it on a conscious level, they will internalize the fact that you treat anything to do with nudity, genitalia, and pubescence with shame, and they will internalize the fact that you are purposefully keeping them in the dark about it.

you should not wait until your ten-year-old early bloomer kid is crying in the bathroom because they’re bleeding into their underwear and think they’re dying before you explain to them what puberty is. you should not wait until your kid is sexually assaulted by a boy at school because they don’t understand what consists of a sexual touch before you teach them about consent. you should sure as hell not wait until your kid sexually assaults another child before you teach them that some people have different body parts than others and this is why that is and this is why we don’t touch or ask to touch those parts except in specific circumstances when we are mature enough.

(you think that last one sounds unlikely? go online. look up parenting stories about how many kids decided to pull their sibling’s pants down or sneak up on them while they were changing one day because they didn’t understand why their sibling looked different and wanted to investigate. or hell, look up the trauma stories of people who did that themselves as kids and were shamed and screamed at by parents for reasons they didn’t understand until they got older. or read stories from victims of COCSA who were traumatized for life by things other kids did to them without understanding the ramifications of their actions.)

indoctrinating children into the sex-shame and body-shame culture at such a young age is actively harmful to their development and puts them at risk for sexual assault, both by adults and other children, inherently because of their naivete, lack of education, and curiosity about a “taboo” subject.

and i don’t fucking understand why this is considered such a “controversial opinion.”

Can I your attention please?

In an effort to combat CSA and grooming, I have decided to compile a list of tools predators use and because predators use these tools to groom children, they are things you should not engage in unless you want to be considered a potential predator. It is important to not engage in this in order to remove the tools predators use to groom chilren.

  • Art- Do not draw art depicting illegal things. Predators use this to groom children. Even if the art contains adults or clearly fictional characters.
  • Porn - Do not participate in or consume porn. Predators use this, even if you are an adult and the actresses/actors in the porn are of age as well.
  • Trust - Do not trust children and tell children to not trust adults, not even their own parents. Do not leave children alone in a room with another adult, do not hire a babysitter, do not be in the same room alone with a child even if they are yours. Do not take the child to a park or become close to the child until they are of legal age. Remove anyone who is above the age of 18 from their life completely until they are 18.
  • Praise - Praise is something that groomers and predators use on children. They praise them for doing thing or not telling, so don’t praise your child fro doing anything. Do not praise them for getting good grades or being good.
  • Candy - Do not buy or give candy to children, not even for halloween. Because predators use candy to groom children, this tool also needs to be removed because they often reward children with the sweet treats.
  • Toys - do not buy toys or gifts for your children or any child, not even for christmas or their birthday. If they want a toy or any type of game, it has to be something they get themselves without any type of adult intervention or help. 
  • Rewards - Do not reward your child or any child in any way for doing anything. Unfortunately, as essential reward is to a child’s devlopment, predators often use this so it is something that needs to be completely removed from the child’s life. They are children, they do not need the approval of adults even if that adult is their parent, teacher, or doctor. They don’t need your praise an will be fine without it. 
  • Punishments - Do not punish the child. Punishment can instil fear in the child and fear and punishment is something that groomers and predators also use in order to keep their victims.
  • Treats - Do not give them treats because predators often do the same thing to their victims. 
  • Food - Because food is essential to a child surviving, only give them the food that they need and nothing more. Leave food to eat within their ite but do not allow them to see you or know that you are giving them food. If they ask for food or run out you may place more but do not itneract with them.
  • Money - Any money a child has must be gained through their own means. Do not give your kids allowances or money becuase predators often do the same thing to their victims.
  • Interaction - Because predators interact with their victims and this is probably the biggest tool, it is important that you do not interact with children. They must live completely away from anyone who is over the age of 18 and have absolutely no contact or interaction with someone above that age until they htemselves are 18. 

I understand that this list may be long and extensive. However, it is important to remove tools from predator instead of telling children the warning signs of a predator or letting them know that it is okay to ay “no or tell someone when someone is making them uncomfortable. If these tools are not removed from the predator, it is the fault of who “gave” them the tools even if that wan’t the intended purpose so these tools must be remove from the live of anyone who is uner the age of 18 in order to protect them. 

The Modern Gentleman

The Rebirth Of The Cool

“Every once in a while you come across someone whose style is so clean and manners are so refined that you realise the power of the word Gentleman, in the most classic sense of the word.”

His style is the personification of cool and elegant sophistication; an unapologetic embrace of discreet polish and natural confidence. Shrouded in a tapestry of unpretentious swagger, the long awaited re-emergence of the distinguished modern gentleman is almost upon us.

We are living in a cold, digital and cynical world, where values, virtues, manners and behaviour don’t seem to matte anymore. The reality is that even human interaction is overwhelmingly supported by and through digital technology. Human kind seems so bent out of shape, where facts are no more relevant and are considered optional, where black is white and where up is down. People seem to know the price of everything and the value of nothing. -Oscar Wilde
Celebrities who stand for nothing and everything run and influence the world.
Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people. 

The interesting thing about human society is that whenever - lets call it a phase gets out of control a so called counter movement arises. In this case it is the rise of the gentleman and with it the resurrection of virtues, values, manners and behaviour. In a society without role models who reflect for what humanity stands for and by what it’s normally kept together, the call and the search for a deeper purpose in life gets louder and broader. 

The rebirth of the cool is also the birth of the modern gentleman who is not defined by birth or age but rather by choice. It’s a conscious and personal decision made by individuals to frame their way of life with gentlemanly values. In my opinion there is no higher accolade than to call a man a gentleman. 

It is also displaying diversity in terms of preexisting stereotypes and the perception of gentlemen in general. A gentleman is not perceived anymore as a monolithic block of people. Not every man in a suit and tie is a gentleman and not every gentleman wears suit and tie. The modern gentleman is no longer defined by the content of his wallet or the cut of his suit, he is defined by his manners and the content of his character. Never forget, a monkey in a suit is still a monkey.

In every aspect of life respect yourself enough to know that you deserve the very best. Never wake up to be mediocre. The mindset of a modern gentleman in terms of business, lifestyle and sports.

A gentleman takes pride in how he presents himself.

Whether it is how he dresses or how he speaks, a gentleman understands the importance of a first impression and how he is perceived. No, this does not mean he lives his life on other people’s terms or is always looking for validation from them. What it means is, he understands the importance of making a good impression and expanding his personal and professional network. A man who takes pride in who he is and how he presents himself will find more opportunities coming his way, as he is desirable to spend time and engage in conversation with.

A gentleman treats everyone with respect.

Regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other involuntary characteristic a person can have, a gentleman does not categorize. He sees those around him as human and treats them with the respect that he would expect them to treat him with. Since a gentleman does not discriminate, there is no basis for unfair treatment towards others in his mind, everyone is equal.
He understands that his kindness towards others is not based on who they are, but on who he is. Because of this, it is unwavering.

A gentleman does not allow himself to be walked on.

There is a difference between showing kindness towards others and letting yourself become a doormat. Part of having respect for others is also having respect for yourself. A gentleman who has respect for himself will never let himself be taken advantage of. Give others the benefit of the doubt and the gift of your kindness, but if they do not do the same, a gentleman will understand they do not meet the standards of those who he accepts into his life, and he will move forward.

A gentleman will always be improving himself.

As an extension to the previous point, in order to get respect from others, you first must have it for yourself. This means taking care of both your physical and mental well-being. In a photoshop-ridden society, our generations certainly appear to value surface over substance, but a gentleman understands the importance of what goes beyond the outer shell. Whether it is reading books, listening to lectures, watching documentaries, or any other education medium he prefers, it is important to not lose sight of improving the mind while also working on improving the body.

A gentleman values his family and relationships.

More important than professional accomplishment and success, is cultivating the relationships with the people whom you will share it with. A gentleman will understand that no matter how far he makes it in life, it is better to be in a cottage with people he loves than it is to be in a mansion by himself.

A gentleman isn’t afraid to be wrong.

Many people in today’s day and age seem to have an incredible avoidance to being wrong. They will take a stand on a position and never allow new information or evidence to change their mind. This puts up a stone wall around your current base of knowledge and allows no room for expansion beyond it. The only way to learn or grow, is to be wrong. Only when you are wrong do you absorb new information, change your stance, and subsequently become “right.” Without the ability to admit a mistake, there will be no lessons to take from it.

A gentleman is cool, calm, and collected.

In a fast paced, constantly-changing world, it is an asset to be able to slow down the mind and keep things in perspective. A gentleman will have (or work to develop) the ability to not be perpetually stressed out. He will take life’s ups and downs in stride, and understand that night is always darkest before the dawn. Even when problems arise, he will work through them with determination. This will prevent him from becoming overwhelmed and making poor decisions or treating others badly.

A gentleman always keeps the woman in his life happy.

It is important for a gentleman to hold high standards for how he acts when he is in a relationship. This includes never mistreating her or taking her for granted. Always valuing her and showing her that he does (not just telling her). He will understand that the effort it took to get the type of woman he wants, is the same effort it will take to keep her, and that a lady would never accept being taken for granted any more than he would. He will never lose sight of doing the small things that make her happy.

Gentlemen are a rare breed and an endangered species in today’s society. It is important for men to strive for these ideals as well as for women to show the men their efforts are appreciated and recognized. While many men reach for these qualities without any need for outside influence, I can also assume that more would put in effort if they knew how much of a difference it would make in their life.

But if they don’t, gentleman cannot be afraid to separate themselves from the crowd. The effort they put into living the best life they can comes with a reward that many others will never receive: The accomplishment of that goal.

GROOMING 2017

These days, becoming a modern gentleman isn’t easy. It goes far beyond the simplicity of what clothes we wear. Something has to be said about men’s grooming and its importance in achieving the gentleman look we strive for.
Times have evolved and getting hold of that look has now become not just desirable, but believe it or not, there’s an art to it.
Brushing your teeth and splashing some water on your face just won’t suffice anymore, we got away with it long enough. It’s time to go the extra mile!

Healthy skin, maintaining the beard, manscaping and don’t be fooled manicures are manly.

The way men look after their appearance has undergone a revolution in the last twenty years. Where once a moisturiser might have been considered outré, it now seems to be the bedrock of every man’s grooming regime. It’s easy to fall prey to anxiety and insecurity on these fronts, especially in the face of advertisements and Photoshopped media icons.

So yes, it helps enormously to enjoy your grooming routine; but our long term aim is to use the confidence that comes with looking good to feel completely at home in our own skin.

BE WELL GROOMED, NOT OVER-PREENED

Good grooming is like a magic trick: people should be impressed by the results, but in the dark about how you achieved them. Overdo the fragrance, teeth whitening or eyebrow taming and you just show the world your sleight of hand.

CREATE YOUR OWN RITUAL

Many cultures (from the ancient Greeks and
Jews to the modern Japanese and Scandinavians) practise bathing as a ritual. Hot water is relaxing, yet invigorating like little else – that’s why some of our best thoughts can come to us in the shower. But take the time out from here on in to really ‘be’ in the shower, to quell the monkey mind and to really feel the water on your skin and the scent
of the products you use. It’s not just the female of the species that’s worth it.

Health And Wellbeing

Todays modern gentleman lives his life holistically. He understands that how he treats his body affects his mind, and vice versa, that there’s no real separation between the two. An improvement in one area is often what unlocks improvement in another. Some say that exercise is the new religion – that gyms are the new cathedrals. Perhaps this is a bit extreme. But it reveals a larger truth: physical fitness can be very important, partially because it’s always a subset of a much bigger theme: living a good life.

PRACTICE YOUR OWN SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY

Playing sport doesn’t just build muscle and lung capacity. It helps you to refine your ability to strategise and practise collaboration and fair play. By observing your knee-jerk emotions and choosing to respond rather than react, you can change your behaviour on and off the field, court or mat.

KEEP MOVING

It seems odd that we often stand on the escalator on the way to a gym class. Exercise begins the moment you get up in the morning. The ‘active living’ movement helps us to understand this. Man was never meant to be sedentary. Walking up the stairs, washing the car, and having sex can all increase our fitness without a sweaty gym bag in sight.

The 30 steps to being a modern gentleman

  1. Negotiates airports with ease.
  2. Never lets a door slam in someone’s face.
  3. Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent.
  4. Knows when not to say anything.
  5. Wears his learning lightly.
  6. Owns one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit, and a dinner jacket.
  7. Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes.
  8. Turns his mobile phone to silent at dinner.
  9. Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms.
  10. Rises and says his name when being introduced.
  11. Breaks a relationship face to face.
  12. Is unafraid to speak the truth.
  13. Knows when to clap.
  14. Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time.
  15. Is good with waiters.
  16. Has two tricks to entertain children.
  17. Can undo a bra with one hand.
  18. Can sail a boat and ride a horse.
  19. Never kisses and tells.
  20. Cooks an omelette to die for.
  21. Can prepare a one-match bonfire.
  22. Seeks out his hostess at a party.
  23. Believes in chivalry. 
  24. Has read “Pride and Prejudice”.
  25. Can tie his own bow tie.
  26. Sandals? No. Never.
  27. Wears a rose, not a carnation.
  28. Swats flies and rescues spiders..
  29. Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition.
  30. Knows that there is always an exception to a rule.

Chivalry alive
Is chivalry dead?

Chivalry isn’t dead, but it’s certainly in shorter supply these days. Likewise, gentlemen still exist, today, although they may appear slightly different. The  “old school” gentleman, who pulled out chairs and opened up car doors, has since been replaced with the “modern” gentleman, who can maintain a stimulating conversation outside the realms Facebook Messenger. Given the social norms of today’s society, being a gentleman will prove itself to be quite difficult – but not impossible. And while media outlets love to glorify the male icons who tend to mistreat women, and ignore the more chivalric ones who don’t generate headlines, this should have no bearing on how you choose to conduct your own lifestyle. Just because certain behaviors aren’t considered “cool” or “popular” by mainstream standards doesn’t mean they’re correct by societal standards. Being a gentleman is timeless, and mainstream trends will phase in and out. Notice this, and focus on the long-term.
While being in your 20s and carefree may discourage all intentions of acting “gentlemanlike” – recognize the longevity of certain good habits. These will never “go out of style,” and are telltale signs of maturity.

Everyone can be a gentleman. That title is earned, it’s not something you’re born into.

I’m still in shock to be honest.

I decided to wait until the morning to answer the accusation post I saw about my friends and I when I was going to bed yesterday noght, because I wanted to get my thoughts together. But honestly I’m just speechless and I feel like my english is not good enough to express myself.

So all I’m gonna say, because I think it needs to be written here clearly for those reading this : these accusations are lies, we didn’t know about their age until 6 months ago  because they lied to all of us. I NEVER witnessed anything wrong about Addy and them interactions.  I wanted to add “obviously”, but it’s not obvious for everyone, and that’s normal because you don’t know me or my friends , and you don’t know the accuser too. If I’d be a simple reader of that post, I probably would do the same that a lot of you : unfollow, and block. Just in case. Feel free to do it if you think there’s any doubt about my implication in this, or If you think that maybe I’m some kind of pedophile (oh god I just need to throw up):  I understand why you’re doing it.

Of course I’m angry about this person, but also … I’m just sad tbh.

That’s being said, I’m just gonna link to the posts my friends did to answer the accusations. They are much better than me to express themselves. (some of them also added some screenshots as proves. Also nope, they’re not photoshopped ) :  Addy, Liz, Gina , J, and also this post. I stand with them all.

I was already feeling like I needed to distance myself with this fandom for a few months now. That’s the reason i deleted the Tumblr App in last July, to allow myself to take a step back for a lot of different reasons.

Let’s say it won’t help at all.

So from today Anons are off (because death threats are not something okay) I’m sorry for those who wanted to reach me for fics recs, you can always ask me off anon and I’ll answer you privately.

But I won’t be there much in the next days. Maybe more. I need to take care of myself too , for my own sanity and also to allow me a last month of pregnancy without stress and anxiety.

See you later, maybe.

3

Unlike seals, whales, and other such marine mammals, sea otters do not have blubber (a thick layer of subcutaneous fat) to keep themselves warm in cold ocean waters.  Instead, sea otters are insulated by a remarkable coat of fur.  At 150,000 strands of hair for each square centimeter of skin, the sea otter’s fur is the densest of any animal in the world, and keeps cold water from even touching the animal’s skin.  The fur must be kept scrupulously clean in order to retain its insulating properties, and so sea otters spend a great deal of their time grooming and washing.  Their skin is so loose that the otter can easily reach and groom every square inch of its body.  The fur will also trap air bubbles between the outer “guard” layer and the undercoat, which not only helps keep the otter warm but will aid in buoyancy.  In fact, a newborn sea otter’s fur will retain so much air that, after careful grooming by its mother, the baby literally cannot sink; it bobs in the water like a cork.

5

@weirdie-beardie BEEBIES 

Picked up a couple goldfish fry from an accidental spawn to help raise and they are good and small and fit??? In a tablespoon???? What the fuck???

This does not fit in a tablespoon??? Does not compute??

Also the parents are a googly oranda and a telescope so they’re gonna be adorable weird lil boogers

3

Although they aren’t exclusive, Amelia already feels that pressure to provide intimacy. Amelia still values her virginity but has some guilt for being reserved with Wednesday so she started taking pictures, nothing provocative, just the female form and has been sending them to Wednesday. Wednesday never says anything lewd, in all honest she does not find nude photos arousing but she does find Amelia’s pursuit to be more confident sexy. 

It’s Corpse Groom but it’s a Gladnis/Fleurentia

So Ignis is the best option to be Noctis’ adviser and a gem for the Council, but he can’t officially become so because the Scientia are not royalty by title, and due to war and such they need to get him the title but only current way (legally) is for him to marry into royalty.

And Ignis ends up in arranged marriage to Gladio (because genders don’t matter okay stfu), bc he’s basically the only option (only close in age to him, and only single), but it’s a chaos because while they’re very good friends, Gladio’s a bit uncomfortable because he had never been with a man, Ignis had never been with anybody and doesn’t know if he even wants that, it’s odd marrying a friend, Clarus is always poker-faced and Ignis over-worries by not knowing if that’s good or bad, and after a few days Gladio starts getting stupid in front of him.

Like stuttering and face going red and brain freezing, and Ignis assumes it’s because Gladio is very uncomfortable about this (not understanding the crush, omfg the poor man), so it’s a mess and he feels terrible.

One day at rehearsal for the wedding things go chaotic due to Gladio’s nervousness, and in the middle of the mess Ignis leaves for some fresh air because he’s so frustrated and upset, and takes a stroll through a creepy old forest (because apparently that’s logical)

And there he goes super upset and thinks a lot of things: Gladio hadn’t acted as chaotic and dumb until their engagement; he was fine when they were only friends, so is the idea of marrying Ignis really that awful to behave like this? Maybe Gladio’s ruining the rehearsal on purpose to put the wedding off. Ignis knew he was not an attractive choice of a partner (always so serious, and inexpert, and so little physical), but he thought maybe Gladio could give him a good chance. That he reacts like this is offensive and…saddening. Ignis knew he was not the kind of man Gladio would like to marry, but he didn’t think he would be that repulsive.

Ignis tries to compensate the sadness with anger and thinks that, well, Gladio isn’t the kind of man he’d marry either, and starts listing all his flaws.

And then he gets sad again because he realizes that despite his flaws, Gladio is an excellent choice of a partner, and lists his good things. And he realizes Gladio wouldn’t treat him bad but also doesn’t blame him for not wanting this; “him, as handsome, so charming, so caring and loving, so outgoing and strong…stuck with me.”

So all the train of thoughts leads Ignis to get angry at how easy it is to recite the vows and doesn’t understand why Gladio can’t do that just fine, and so Ignis starts reciting the vows to prove how even in a random moment it’s as easy.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows”, he recites, “Your cup shall never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring…” he looks around and spots a very hand-like piece of root, and slips the ring on one of its fingers as he says, “I ask you to be mine.”

There’s silence for a moment. Ignis doesn’t even know what to do now that he recited the vows. He thinks himself idiotic and internally jokes (if only in an upset way) about how he just married a root, rolls the eyes, and as he’s about to stand back up on his feet, the “roots” suddenly and very quickly move and get a ridiculously strong grip of his wrist, so Ignis panics and tries to get away, but this hand has like inhuman force and is pulling from him.

And suddenly there’s an entire figure raising from the ground and this majestic but imposing white figure surges from the ground and Ignis can do but look up, his wrist still trapped in that goddamn strong hand and

[adding a read more]

Keep reading

okay

you guys know how much i love dog gear, it’s like fashion but for my dogs so i immediately care more

well thanks to the recent addition of the long eared long haired pansy I am now becoming aware of a whole new world of dog gear.

I’m talking about

THE SNOOD

the snood keeps your pansy dog from getting manky when eating, drinking, playing, sleeping and breathing. perfect for baths, running through mud or general existence - it keeps those floppy flippers nice and dry!

also you can match ur dog’s snood with ur very own snood and reflective so everyone can see how fashionable you are

tomato

seems snoots also need the snood but for warming reasons, not manky disgusting prevention reasons

except maybe saluki who can do both?

this is going to be my life now and i am APPALLED at the lack of snood action shots in the wilderness

this is a drying coat with an inbuilt snood. I sent this to Thyme’s family to ask if i would need such a thing. i dont understand how it works. but also what if i made him wear such things while he’s doing tracking or something how great would he look. i’ll just claim it makes him aerodynamic or something.

fyi i saw this while browsing snoods

but until my snoods of assorted sizes arrive, a scrunchy works just as well!

so stylish love me a manbun

edit: Scrunchy is old and broke has no elasticity and fell off a minute later, pls do not put actual  scrunchies around doggie ears for blood ear flow reasons

so there’s apparently a friend of a friend who’s only 18 and is in an “emotional relationship” with her 45 year old professor (and he’s implied that he wants to turn it physical), and idk what you guys would do but i’m mentally preparing myself to ruin this guy’s career as soon as i learn his name