it's gonna poke me in the eye

I Don’t Remember That Part

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Word Count: 1,103

Warnings: mild language, drunken shenanigans, less than effective comebacks

A/N: This was written for Rosie & Nicki’s Impossible Prompts Challenge. Congrats to both of you on 500! My prompt was: I came to gank monsters and get drunk, and I just finished ganking monsters. I’ve never written drunk anyone before, so bear with me on this @rosie-winchester and @nickiwinchester97. And thanks to my letter checker/constant encourager @hannahindie and my PA for this project @wheresthekillswitch (she helped me word…I love you…sometimes :P)


“A Shōjō? This should be fun!”

Famous last words.

You see, when I agreed to this plan I thought that I’d seen the Winchesters drunk before. After particularly long hunts, when we all wanted to blow off some steam, both brothers tended to knock back one too many rounds. They didn’t have much of a filter with that much alcohol running through their veins, and many a colorful line would have me snorting into my beer bottle as the night progressed. I’d normally drive them home, random complaints and commentary drifting from the backseat.

But this.

Well.

This was a different ballgame altogether.


“Y/N! The banana! Give me the… that… Potassium!”

I blinked heavily, focusing on the object in my hands until it came into a slightly fuzzy focus. Yellow, slightly green on the top, just the way I liked it. But…why the hell am I holding a banana? My stomach growled, and I reached up with my other hand, fumbling as I tried to break the peel.

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Man Beneath The Mask|| Matt Murdock

Originally posted by lehnsherr-stark

This is so long overdue because I’m nearly 80% done with this fanfiction that’s almost 10 months in the works and I’m kicking myself for not getting this done sooner, so please enjoy a Matt Murdock oneshot! 

Requested by @iamthemaskhewears

Prompt: Reader is friends with Matt and has a crush on him, but doesn’t know he’s Daredevil. Somehow the two of them start talking about Daredevil and she says she has a crush on DD even though she doesn’t know who’s beneath the mask? And Matt decides to make a move as DD?

I’m sorry if this sucks lol

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chantillyxlacey  asked:

77 with any combination of the Skulls you wish lol

77.  “It’s a Texas thing.”

(This is based off @huppupbup‘s Internet Friend Vivi headcanon and Vivi is not native to Texas :P This is like the second time they’ve all seen each other.)

“So I’ve always wondered, Artie, why do you have that little star pin there?”

Arthur paused in his eating and Vivi took that as her cue to continue. “I really like it, it’s cute and it suits you.”

“Cute?” Arthur set down his food. “That’s a new one.” He mock-glared at Lewis, who was snickering beside him, before going back to Vivi. “I found it in the garage one day and it’s stuck with me ever since. S’kinda something I’m obligated to wear anyway so I just roll with it.”

Vivi rose a brow. “…You’re obligated to wear a star pin?”

“Well yeah.” Arthur’s grin was suddenly mischievous and Lewis was having trouble keeping his laughter down. Vivi had a feeling she was missing an inside joke. “Where do you think we are, Vivi?”

“Uh…a McDonalds?”

As hard as he tried, even Arthur couldn’t hold back a laugh there. “Should I tell her?” Lewis asked between chuckles.

“Tell me what?”

“Nah.” Arthur waved his hand. “She’s smart. We don’t needa tell her, and it is pretty obvious.”

“Tell me what?”

“Come on Vivi,” Arthur said jokingly. “It’s no fun if we tell you straight out. You like the whole mystery thing, don’t you?” He could see her dog perk his ears up but ignored him for now. “You’ll figure it out. I believe in ya.”

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never been kissed

lance/keith, 2800 words; first kisses and fast food

“You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.” 

“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

read here on AO3 or below

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[You know what I actually really like about Mike?

No, not my Mike. The actual Mike Schmidt.

Mike is the only night guard that we play as that we get even an inkling of appearance from.

Jeremy and Fritz’s death screens are from their point of view, so we just see Freddy staring at us. The FNaF 3 night guard doesn’t even have a goddamn name.

But with Mike, we actually get a glimpse of his appearance

Mike canonly has blue eyes, and those are his little teeth poking out.

So that could mean that this

is Mike seeing his own eyeballs on Freddy cause he understands the consequences if he loses after Phone Guy told him about his eyeballs and teeth popping out of the front of the mask and he’s scared. The guy’s so scared he’s basically hallucinating what his corpse is gonna look like.

It’s such a small thing but the fact that we actually have a little glimpse of what at least one night guard looks like is just pretty cool to me.]

anonymous asked:

pls do an imagine where you and murphy pretend to hate each other so bellamy came thru and tries to flirt with u but then murphy aka trash god has had enough and asks u out and make out

Warning: Bad language.

Modern Day AU - that means the return of Fuckboy Murphy!


It was Sunday morning, which meant the usual gang would go to the diner to eat the usual high-calorie hangover cure breakfast they got each week.

When you arrive with your roommate, Clarke, the rest of your friends are already there in their usual booth, holding their pounding heads and hiding their eyes beside sunglasses. Clarke, apparently having no hangover whatsoever, laughs when she sees them groaning in pain.

“Morning!” She chips, enjoying the way Bellamy jumps at the sound, his hands flying to cover his ears.

Bellamy was sitting next to Murphy and Lincoln, while Octavia was on the other side of the booth, two empty spaces for you and Clarke to sit beside her.

“Shut up, shut up.” Octavia groans as you slip in beside her, taking your sunglasses off and putting them down. Clarke sits down on the other side of you and moments later, six freshly-fried unhealthy breakfasts are being placed on the table.

Everyone digs in immediately, knowing that it was the only thing that was going to help with their Sunday-morning blues. Across from you, Murphy huffs out a laugh.

“You look like you got dressed in the dark.” He comments, nodding towards your clothes. You look down. Okay, maybe your clothes didn’t really match, but Clarke had practically dragged you out of your bed this morning because you were so tired and sick.

“Fuck off, dickhead- this is Bellamy’s hoodie, actually. He left it the last time he was at our flat.” You explain with a slight smugness when Murphy’s smile falls. You stick your tongue out at him before looking to Bellamy. “Thought I’d wear here it so that I’d remember to give it back.” You tell him, shrugging.

“Nah, it’s okay, keep it. It looks really cute on you.” Bellamy smiles lightly, the food in his stomach starting to refresh him of his hangover.

Murphy slowly turns to Bellamy, his eyes shooting daggers at his friend. Bellamy feels Murphy’s eyes on him and turns to give him a quick smirk in reply.

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Signs in algebra
  • Aries: This is crap. Who's gonna play tick tack toe w me?
  • Taurus: Libra. Libra, libra. Gimme the answers.
  • Gemini: *Rolls eyes.* C'mon guys. This is fucking cake.
  • Cancer: *Crumples up worksheet.* Ur on, Aries.
  • Virgo: *Blushes.* Gemini, can u help me? Please?
  • Leo: Lol, ur actually working on it? Losers.
  • Libra: Taurus, quit being lazy. But can i have some of that food?
  • Scorpio: Grades matter, guys- sag, what the hell is that?
  • Capricorn: Teacher, Pisce's poking me.
  • Sag: It's my worksheet, dummy. looks better as origami,huh?
  • Aquarius: Wellll...Y isn't a number, how do we... wait...
  • Pisces: Cap, cap, cap, help me and virgo with this one.
  • Taurus: Libra, u can have the food when i hav the answers.
  • Cancer: Aries, you're really goo- Wait, u've been cheating!
  • Aries: U just noticed? Jeez, good luck w that math...
  • Leo: I don't get this garbage.
  • Capricorn: Is this like... detective math?
  • Aquarius: Ssssooo... Y IS a number? But i thought it was...
  • Virgo: Gem. Help me out.
  • Scorpio: Hahaha, finished, bitches. Guess I'm the smartes-
  • Taurus: Tell me. The answer.
  • Virgo: Yeah.
  • Gemini: Oh, my god, Y IS EIGHT, PEOPLE! its not that hard.
  • Leo: Oh...
  • Capricorn: Oh...
  • Pisces: Oh.
  • Aquarius: So if Y is eight, what does that make 6? a vowel? An alien? What is math? What is life? Taurus, is that calamari?
  • Scorpio: Lol. You guys are SO screwed.
silent night

“A Friar Family Christmas”

-riley-

Christmas has always been my favourite time of the year. And waking up on Christmas morning was one of my favourite things in the world. Even if the action had been pushed down the list as I grew up by my husband and my child, it still remains pretty high up there with the rest of them. This year marks the first time the definition of waking up on Christmas morning will change for Lucas and I.

On January 3rd, I gave birth to Joseph Cornelius M. Friar, who we decided to call Joey. Months passed quickly and before we knew it, he was babbling and wobbling. It’s like every time I look at him he grows bigger and bigger and everyday he learns a new word. His first words were both mama and dada as he called us both to pick up his toy that he dropped from his high chair, but he didn’t say them again until maybe a month later and kept babbling; either way, Lucas and I still cried pretty hard that day as we realized how much our baby had grown.  

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avians in the after-dark

After a long day of Christmas shopping, I present to you the final summons.

This is part of a three part series in which Sarada meets her parents’ summons. I recommend reading Aoda -> Katsuyu -> Garuda.

Sarada Meets Aoda | Sarada Meets Katsuyu

-x-

Sarada takes care to remain absolutely silent as she slips out of her bedroom window and down to the ground. Any slight sound will alert her father, who is a very light sleeper, so she tip-toes as quietly as possible through the garden and beyond the fence.

Only when she is a few streets over does she finally start to breathe easier.

This is her first venture in sneaking out of the house after dark without her parents’ knowledge, and Sarada is both thrilled and terrified. If she is caught, she dreads the disappointment in her papa’s eyes more than any punishment.

Swallowing her anxiety, she continues down the street. Boruto has promised to show her something amazing and forbidden that he found in his dad’s office, but he’d warned that he could only show her in secret.

So here she is wandering the streets of Konoha in the middle of the night, looking for some jerk who’s probably playing a prank on her and won’t even show. Sarada grits her teeth. If Boruto doesn’t show, he is dead meat.

-x-

After an hour of circling the village, Sarada finally finds the Uzumaki heir crouched behind the ramen stand. Typical, she thinks. She approaches him silently from behind, tapping him on the shoulder. He jumps a foot in the air and clamps a hand over his mouth to keep from screaming. 

Sarada rolls her eyes. “Are you gonna show me this thing or not?” Her whisper seems to carry in the dark, and she looks around anxiously, as though her father is right behind the next corner. 

“Keep your hair on, prissy-pants,” he scoffs, regaining his composure. “I have to get it out of the secret hiding place." 

She watches impatiently as he digs through the dumpster beside Ichiraku. "Really? You put it in there? You don’t think your dad’s going to notice the smell when you put it back? Idiot." 

Boruto turns back to face her to retort, but instead of speaking, his jaw goes slack and his face drains of all color. Sarada pokes him. "If you dragged me out here for nothing, I swear I’m going to-”

“Look!” he chokes out hoarsely, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around. Sarada freezes in frightened shock.

Perched on a short fence across the street, a large hawk stares directly at them, it’s beady eyes focused intensely. It jerks its head sideways and emits a loud shriek. 

Terrified, Boruto takes off running down the street. Sarada runs after him, berating him for leaving her behind. “You idiot, you were gonna let it eat me!" 

"Better you than me!” he hollers back over his shoulder. 

Sarada’s next words are swallowed by her scream as the hawk takes flight, easily catching up to her and latching onto her shoulders with its talons. Boruto stands dumbfounded as she is lifted into the air and carried off.

-x-

Sarada has never been so terrified in her life as the giant hawk lifts her into the night sky, as if she were a weightless rag doll. The view of the moon and stars is beautiful up here, but she can’t think through her mind-blanking fear as she dangles hundreds of feet above the ground. 

They circle a few times over the dormant village, the hawk occasionally letting out a raucous cry, as if it were a signal. Finally, they start to descend. As they grow closer and closer to the ground, Sarada realizes where the bird is taking her, and the bottom drops out of her stomach. 

Rather than landing, the bird hovers over the front yard of the Uchiha home, the flapping of his large wings shaking the trees. 

Standing on the front porch is Sasuke, his expression unreadable. 

“Garuda, down.”

His voice is short and terse, and Sarada isn’t sure that she’d rather be on the ground right now. But the hawk obeys its master, gently setting Sarada into the soft grass. She tries very hard to keep upright, but the adrenaline and terror rushing through her veins sends her crashing to her knees. 

She hears papa’s footsteps approaching, and he kneels down in front o her. She can’t help the tears that spring to her eyes. “I’m sorry, Papa, I’m so sorry. It was stupid and I’ll never do it again-”

Her apology is cut short by his tight embrace. “You could have gotten hurt. You could have been kidnapped. Don’t ever scare me like that again." 

Sarada nods, burying her face in his shirt. "I promise, Papa.”

Imagine:

You smiled widely as his hands softly roamed your stomach, the pads of his thumbs rubbed small gentle circles around the soft skin of your stomach as your eyes read over the words of the pregnancy book.

“One more week.” He mumbled lowly against your skin giving you chills “One more week until I have him in my arms.” He smiled widely glancing up at you periodically “Jaxon Bieber, I can already see him now.” He climbed off the couch quickly

“HE GOES FOR THE GOAL AND SCORE! THE CROWD GOES CRAZY!” He hush yelled making you giggle “The best hockey player ever to live, im telling you babe its going to happen.”

“Ok Justin.” You rolled your eyes playfully pushing yourslef off the couch with much struggle

“Your not gonna be my little penguin anymore.” His rubbed both of your arms softly bringing his chest to your back, making you sigh contently. His lips found the skin of your neck softly making you moan softly “At least ill get my freak in the sheets back.” You smacked his chest ligtly poking your tongue at him childishly

“You just wait, when there is a miny me running around here hes gonna get all the ladies like I did.” He popped his imaginary collar cockily leaning against the door frame

“But I know he will find someone to love like I did with you.”

#98: He's/You're giving the silent treatment
Ashton:

You keep your head down as the items on the belt move slowly towards you. When it stops, you see a bouquet of pink roses and start off the question you ask to every customer, “Hi how are-” you look up to see Ashton with a small smile on his face and immediately stop talking. You weren’t speaking to him for very specific reasons and he thought that coming to your job would be the perfect way to get you to crack.

“Y/N,” he whines as you scan the roses and then the chocolate, condoms, strawberries and whip cream that follow behind. You take the total and point to the price on the screen. He pays with a credit card and you hand him the bag. “These are for you.” He hands back the roses and you accept them before handing him back the receipt. You want to speak to him but you didn’t want to argue with him right then and there. “You can’t stay mad at me forever babe, I’m sure we’ll talk when you get home.” He begins to walk away, “Hey, don’t you have to say thank you to every customer?” You discreetly give him the bird and he smirks, “We’ll definitely be talking when you get home.”

Calum:

You hug him tightly and he stares ahead with his arms crossed, pretending as if you’re not there. “Caaaal! I know I stood you up last nigjt but I didn’t mean to forget our plans.” Calum arches a brow and pulls the ‘Oh really?’ stare. His lips are pouty and grumpy and you have never wanted to kiss your best friend so badly.

“Calum, please…” You stare up at him and he sighs as if he’s bored. “We can have our own night tonight, like old times. Please forgive me.” He slowly looks down at you and uncrosses his arms, his gesture one as if he’s about to speak,

Luke:

“Lu! Please,” you pout up at your tall boyfriend who plays GTA5 with the straightest face ever. “It was my turn to cook and I went out to party with Y/F/N but you can’t ignore me forever.”

He turns up the TV a little more and gets more furious with the controls, his thumbs moving quick as he beats a man on the street. “Oh, oh, god..” you gently take the controller from him and pause the game, moving in to straddle his lap and look dead into his eyes. “Maybe you need to stop that for a while. Can I make it up to you? Warm cookies and cuddles? Please?” You set your hands on his cheeks and he stares at you, his blue eyes lighting up to the sound of the idea and you smirk, because you know you’re gonna get what you want; and that’s him to open his mouth and talk.

Michael:

You sit on the couch and gaze dead ahead at the TV, ignoring Michael who kisses your neck over and over. “Talk to me, beb.” You blink twice and he reaches over with his hand to poke your cheek. He sits up and looks into your eyes. “What do you want me to do?”

You slowly scoot away from him; but just like a magnet, he moves closer beside you and finally decides to just rest his head on your shoulder. “I didn’t do what you asked me to do and I’m sorry, from now on…I’ll listen to you baby. Just please talk to me, please?”

Challenge~ Fairy Tail AU

High School Gruvia AU Chapter 4

guys fuck this chapter is almost eight thousand words

ok but yeah its really shitty lets just pretend its mediocre k

Part 1    Part 2      Part 2.5       Part 3

Fairy Tail AU part 4

God, fucking, dammit.

 “Daaaaaaaaaaaaad!”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaat do you want.” He answered, poking his head out of the kitchen to answer my call.

“You said you were gonna drive me!” I complained, bouncing up and down like an annoying five year old.

I was completely ready for the hockey game, I had all my shit together.

My dad…not so much.

“What? When?” He asked, his eyes firmly glued to the hockey game on TV.

“Like an hour ago! Dad, come on!” I yanked his arm up as he drank his Pepsi absently, like I hadn’t even said anything.

“Where are we going again?” He asked, slowly standing up and swiping the crumbs off of his shirt.

“The hockey game, dad.” I reminded hotly, ready to slam him on the face with my purse and laugh as he suffered.

“You’re going to a hockey game?” He asked, suddenly perky like I’d just injected him with caffeine.

“Yes, now let’s goooo!” I whined, pulling his arm to the garage door.

“Since when do you like hockey?” He asked lamely, opening the car door as I threw myself inside, mentally fluffing my scarf and throwing my ten thousand pound purse on the car floor.

“Why do I have to drive you everywhere? You aren’t crippled.” My Dad mumbled, pulling the car out of the garage and onto the driveway.

“Be-cause, it’s getting cold out and I hate driving on ice.” I refuted, chipping the ugly nail polish off of my fingers. I had such horrible taste in everything.

“Lazy ass. So hockey, when did you become interested?” He mused, for once genuinely interested in shit I did.

“Uh, some friends are going and I got invited.” I mentioned, definitely not wanting to make a left turn into Fullbuster   Boulevard. I’m pretty sure my dad knew everything about him, like how Lucy knew Harry Styles’s weight and height.

“What friends?” He asked, comically slapping his knee and laughing.

“Nobody likes you dad.” I said dryly.

“Well obviously somebody did, or I wouldn’t have a snarky wiseass brat like you.” He said logically, running a yellow light that was suspiciously red.

“I am a product of failed birth control and a roofie. We’ve had this conversation before.” I reminded.

“Ok, now remember, we’re the blue team, it would be a disgrace to have a child of mine rooting for the wrong team.” My dad chided like I was some sort of imbecile.

“Dad, I know. I’m not a fucking moron.” I whined, noticing the high school drawing ever closer.

“Don’t talk to me like that, I’ve seen your Political Science grades.” He said with a chuckle. Stupid old man.

“Well I’ve seen your dirty magazines, so you better clamp it or I’ll have a hayday on the Playboy black market.” I sang.

“Watch it, I can put you up for adoption like that!” He snapped his fingers in front of my face.

“Yeah, yeah, ok dad.” I snipped, opening the car door eagerly.

“Hey, get your ass back home by ten or I’ll fry it on the stove.” He warned, pointing his finger at me suspiciously.

“Aren’t you driving me?” I asked incredulously, pausing before exiting the car because this sort of threw a wrench in my plans.

“Uh…maybe. If I’m awake, then yes.”

I only sighed outwardly. Then I popped out of the car and began the trek to the school doors.

“Don’t have sex, or mistakes like you will happen!” He called.

“Trust me dad, nobody wants to have sex with me!” I called back.

“Seriously though, if you’re hanging out with boys I’ll murder you!”

“Will do!”

“Why did I ever have a child,” was his last sentence before speeding away.

Aha, you see where my asshole-ishness comes from? It’s all in the genes.

I hauled my fifty ton purse into the high school, which was packed. Damn it dad, I had arrived at six fifty two instead of the suggested six thirty and now I was more than likely to be solidly fucked.

But then again, Lucy and Levy came early and they promised to save me a seat so I might still be in luck.

It was cold as death outside, the wind a constant reminder that winter was coming and that I’d better start getting heavier coats because winter is a total bitch in Magnolia.

Finally, I made it inside, and to my utter disappointment, it was still extremely cold inside.

Well what did you fucking expect, it’s a hockey game for fuck’s sake.

I brushed off the rudeness of my mind and attempted to locate a ticket stand where I could buy a game ticket. Yeah, that’s right, they make you fucking pay for this garbage. What a load of crap, I can watch hockey for free on my TV.

…Yikes, I’m sounding more and more like my father every day.

I followed the crowd to a ticket stand, sending a text to Lucy that I had made it and where I should look for the seats.

Just then, a group of hockey players walked past from behind the ticket stand, all testosterone and adrenaline as they seemingly made their way towards the vending machines.

Ah, thank fuck it was my turn to buy a damn ticket. If the chick in front of me said the word like one more fucking time I’d probably have to serve time for manslaughter.

I rummaged through my purse in order to find my wallet, which was somewhere in the mess of lip gloss and whatever other garbage I had sent into hibernation. Fucking where’s Waldo is easier than this, god fucking damn…

“I told you to come at six thirty.”

You’ve gotta be kidding me.

 “Hold this,” I said abruptly, tossing Gray my purse as I rifled through my wallet to grab the five dollars they required.

Shit what the hell did you pack in here? Your entire life?” He asked, balancing a packet of skittles (which he had most likely gotten from the vending machine) and my purse while fully decked out in his hockey shit and skates.

I gotta admit, that takes talent.

After paying for my ticket, I walked past him and closed my wallet, slightly forgetting that he was still holding all my trash.

“Whoa, you’re a smuggler?”

Shit.

I whipped around and yanked my purse away from him, hoping that the ticket stand people didn’t hear him.

“Shut the hell up, do you want me to get caught?” I whispered lowly, peeking in my purse to make sure everything was still intact.

Good. Everything was clear.

Gray tsked. “Shoulda known you were on the black market Juvia, I might just have to turn you in.”

“It’s just fucking Pepsi you asshole.”

Right. I had been assigned with drinks for the game. Sort of a tradition my friends and I had, we were each assigned to bring something in so that we wouldn’t have to pay for expensive in house food. Usually we did this for movie theaters (because fuck you if you think I’m going to spend eighty dollars on a bag of popcorn) but today worked too.

“I don’t know, I think this is going to require some commission.”

“Fuck you.”

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn you, but here are my demands. First, I want one of those Pepsis. Second, I need 50,000 dollars, in cash, delivered-”

I smacked my hand over his mouth. “How ‘bout instead, you shut your trap and I won’t damage your face. Sound like a fair deal?”

“I still want a Pepsi.”

Begrudgingly, I reached into my purse and handed him one.

“Sweet. Remember,” he turned around and jammed his thumbs to the number on his back that read 13. “-I’m number thirteen.” He walked (well, more like wobbled, it wasn’t exactly easy for him to walk in skates) out to the arena.

Idiot.

I walked over to the seating entrance, after receiving Lucy’s text that said ‘all the way to the left’ and went, well, left.

It didn’t take long for me to spot them, Lisanna’s icy hair, paired with Lucy’s golden hair, and followed by Levy’s sky hair was not something one misses. But the thing that really screwed me up was-

“-Gajeel?”

He looked up from his bag of pretzels, looking like he belonged there. “Hey Jubie.”

“The fuck are you doing here?” I asked, shoving him to the side so that I could sit down.

“I invited him!” Levy objected, poking her little head to the side so I could see her around Gajeel. “I brought pretzels!”

I reached into my purse and surreptitiously handed out the bottles of Pepsi, still planning on interrogating Gajeel further.

“And I brought Starbursts, Lis brought chips.” Lucy butted in, throwing a couple starbursts at me along with a bag of potato chips.

“Er…thanks, but why did you guys invite Gajeel?” I said, saying ‘Gajeel’ like he was some sort of sexually transmitted disease.

“Don’t be rude Juvia! He’s nice.” Levy defended. Psh, that’s easy for her to say, everybody was nice to Levy.

“He’s a shitfalcon of a human being.” I argued back.

“Love you too.” He said in between a sip of Pepsi.

“Just give him a chance Juvia, you don’t even know him.” Levy drawled.

That’s what she thinks.

I turned to Gajeel. “Just letting you know in advance, if you touch any of them I will fuck up your crotch so that it looks like a person who jumped off the EmpireStateBuilding.”

“Aye aye,” he croaked, weakly saluting me and looking back on the ice, watching the players practice lazily.

“Oh my god, you guys will never guess what Erza texted me a yesterday! She said she saw Juvia talking to Natsu! Lucy, she can hook you guys up!” Lisanna said exuberantly, while Lucy blushed.

Wait, what?

“It was nothing, he’s just in a group project with us.” I gestured to Gajeel for ‘us’ and prayed that they would all just drop it.

“You know, that’s really weird, lately Juvia has been talking to a lot of different guys…” Lisanna hinted, moving her silvery eyebrows up and down and I resisted the urge to shove the bag of pretzels down her throat.

“That’s just cuz she’s a prostitute-ouch!” I elbowed  Gajeel in the gut to cut him off mid-sentence.

“Yeah, like Gajeel, Natsu, Gray…” Levy listed, her cutesy smile getting a lot less cute by the second. Gajeel eyed me knowingly, oh yeah, that’s right, he knows about my bitch ass huge crush on him…me and my stupid fat mouth.

“I’m just a social person Levy.” I reasoned with a shrug.

That has got to be the shittiest lie I’ve ever told in my entire existence.

Lucy was laughing. Dammit even Lucy knows I hate socialization.

Gajeel bent over to conceal the fact that he was laughing, but, to my astonishment, Lisanna was the one who rescued me.

“Ooh, look! The game is starting!”

Everybody’s eyes simultaneously darted to the ice, where the players had lined up, probably for the national anthem or some shit.

Truth be told, the anthem was sung by some theater nerd who I’m pretty sure I once called a hyperactive bitch.

Her voice was alright, but she waved her hands around like she was having a seizure while she sang.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Gray noticing the same thing and trying to hold his laughter in.

And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad Lucy had gotten us close seats.

I didn’t notice that I’d been grinning like a psychopath until Gajeel hip checked me.

“Hey Hannibal, you gonna eat some Fullbuster dick for breakfast?” He whispered.

Ah yes, I think I’ll write ‘if only he wasn’t such a little fucktard’ on his gravestone.

“Why don’t you shut your damn mouth.” I said, not meeting his gaze.

A few minutes passed as the game began, mostly just setting up positions and flipping coins and shit. Boring, but I was counting on the game to be as exciting as my dad made it out to be.

Gajeel, leaned down, probably to whisper something to me.

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’s looking for someone.”

He didn’t even say who, but I knew. I definitely knew.

“S-shut up.” I mumbled, a blush biting my cheeks. He snorted, probably amused by my girly-ass crush.

I didn’t even realize that the game had started until six players whizzed past me, probably Gray included.

“Holy shit! They’re so fast!” I marveled. These assholes could skate faster than I could swim, and that was an accomplishment.

“Damn right. That’s why we’re goin’ to State.” Gajeel said as a matter-o-factly. I didn’t know that Gajeel was a hockey fan. “And your Fullbuster guy is the best we’ve got.”

I blushed, yet again. “He’s not my Fullbuster, he’s just…my friend.”

Great. Even I’ve admitted to our friendship.

“Keep tellin’ yourself that.” He mumbled, grinning wolfishly at my discomfort.

A puck slammed against the glass in front of me, shortly followed by six other guys, jolting me out of my daze. The puck was almost invisible, it was extremely hard to tell what was happening. So I settled for the next best thing.

“Gajeel, what’s happening?” I tugged on his sleeve and stood on my tip toes, trying to see which side of the ice the puck was on.

“Not much has happened, but your lover boy had a pretty good shot a little bit ago. These guys really aren’t a threat.” Gajeel explained, his eyes continuously trained on the ice.

“Gajeel, shut the fuck up.” I grumbled, peering over the heads of people in front of me to see better.

It was definitely exciting, I could see why my dad liked it so much. One second they’d be by the goal the next second they’d be sucker punching each other in the faces. So attractive.

Then again, when it was Gray who was doing it, then it most definitely was.

He was incredible. You could easily tell he was the best player, the other team practically rode up his ass because they knew that his team would almost always pass to him.

Damn him. Damn him and his stupid ass perfectness. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was Satan. Yup, that’s it. Gray is Satan.

My eyes stayed glued to Graytan (eheheeh) for fifteen whole minutes, watching him skate, watching him slam into other player, watching ice spray from the bottom of him skates.

Maybe I should leave. I could drown the entire stadium with the drool I was most likely producing.

“Hey! Juvia!”

Ah, fuck.

“Juvia! Juvia, it’s me, Natsu! Juvia!”

Motherfucker. This is not what I needed. I didn’t need this deranged pink badger to annoy the ever loving shit out of me for the next hour.

He sidled up next to me, pressing his face uncomfortably close to mine.

“So I was riiiight,” he sang, nudging me obnoxiously with his elbow.

“Touch me one more time and I’ll drown you.”

Oookay, but I was right.” He revered back to the original topic, taking a mini step away from me. “Hey Lucy.”

Lucy looked over and waved cutely before turning to Levy and giggling. Fuck, I forgot about that.

I glared sharply at him before answering. “Right about what?”

He smirked. “About you liking Gray, of course.”

Seriously? Is fucking everybody out to piss me off via Gray?

No, I do not, I came to be nice.” I said flatly.

“No she didn’t, Juvia hates being nice.” Gajeel said tersely before turning around to talk to Levy again. Bastard, he knows I’ll kill him later.

“Suuuuure. But still, you think he’s hot, right? This is really good, by the way, Gray needs a girl. He’s such a fucking loser, you know. All he cares about is hockey, his future, and…I don’t know, I don’t really listen to his ‘come feel bad for me’ shit.” Natsu rambled.

…Alright, so now I’m seeing why Gray comes to me for company. He’s got the shittiest friends I’ve ever seen.

“You know what Nastu? I’m pretty sure you’re the third person today that I’ve decided to sacrifice.”

He froze for a minute, like he didn’t understand what I was saying, but slowly, very slowly, he backed away from me, until he was full on sprinting back to his seat.

“What’d Natsu say to you?” Lisanna asked hopefully.

“Ah, he wanted to know when our project was due.” I covered, casually (ok, not so casually) looking back at the game (at Gray).

Suddenly a buzzer went off, and everybody started cheering.

“Wait, wait, what happened?” I asked confusedly, punching Gajeel’s arm until I got an answer.

“Weren’t ya watching? Loke just fucked the goal!”

I wasn’t sure what ‘fucked the goal’ meant, but everybody seemed excited and happy, so I figured that meant he scored a goal.

I felt bad that I missed it, Gray had asked me to come so that I could watch the game and so far I was doing a pretty shitty job of it.

I stood up on my chair, barely balancing by clutching to Gajeel’s shoulder. I was instantly astonished by how much I could see, even the puck was in my vision!

Of course, that all changed when some guy on the other team slammed it across the rink and out of sight.

“Dammit,” I burst out, pressing my toes to the bench and peeking up, relying on the swarm of players to tell me where the puck was.

“Gajeel, tell me what the hell is going on,” I commanded, not allowing myself to look away from the ice.

“Well, the goalie just deflected a shot, and since the centre….”

Blah blah blah.

“Just tell me who’s winning!” I screamed, pulling at his long hair.

“Ouch! We are, dammit!”

“Oh, well that’s-oh shit! Oh shit, holy shit!!” I practically punched Gajeel in surprise.

“What, what happened? I missed it because your fat ass was in the way!”

“Shit! Some dude just fuckin’ decked Gray!”

“That kind of crap happens all the time. Would you calm down? You sound like a baked groupie.” Gajeel sat back down.

“Oh my god! I think he’s bleeding! Are you sure this is normal?” I tried to mentally zoom in on Gray, who had his face covered by his arm annoyingly.

“Relax, it’s pretty much halftime, he’ll have a few minutes to recuperate.” Gajeel leaned back and stared at the ceiling ominously.

“There’s no way this is normal. He’s literally bleeding all over the ice, is that a health code violation?” I speculated, peering over the stands to see the mess that the hockey players had made.

All of a sudden, a giant annoying buzzing noise echoed throughout the stadium.

“Halftime” Gajeel announced, tapping his imaginary watch as if saying ‘I-told-you-so’.

“Shut up Gajeel, go fuck a wet towel.”

“Drink a dick spice latte.”

“Punch yourself in the ovaries.”

“Stick a hockey stick up your ass”

“Touch a-”

Lucy interrupted me by shrieking loudly and waving her hands like a lost penguin.

“Where’s my bag!? I think I lost it, I can’t find it!!”

Her cries of worry sent everyone around her into a frenzy, practically diving into the popcorn-and-pepsi soiled cement floors in search for her lost bag.

“Hey! Wait! I see it, down there!” Lisanna called, pointing down at the bottom of the seats beside the rink. It must have fallen down earlier.

“I’ll get it,” I assured, stepping past stupid people who refused to walk faster than the speed of slowness down the steps.

“Wait, what’s happening?” I heard Gajeel asked. Hm, hopefully Levy would brief him on the situation.

When I finally arrived at the base of the steps (albeit slowly, do people not know how to walk these days? It’s literally not that hard, left foot, right foot, left foot…and so on) I hurried to grab Lucy’s bag, praying that no dimensionally challenged folks stepped on it.

I tucked the bag into my fluffy scarf, not wanting to risk dropping it on the ground again.

Lucy waved at me from our spot, giving me an encouraging thumbs up. She was nervous, she covered it well, but I could always tell when she was scared.

When I got up to her, I thrusted the bag into her arms, making sure she would calm down and just breathe.

“Th-thanks, Levy, could you grab my counter?”

This was perfectly normal, Levy was Lucy’s designated calorie counter. You might ask, ‘wow, is Lucy one of those huge freaks who constantly checks how many calories she eats to lose weight?’ and if you ever asked that to her face, I wouls kindly pull you aside and throw you off a cliff, but in order for convenience, no, Lucy is not one of those people.

To keep herself physically alive, she has to count her calories. Diabetes does that to people.

“Do you want to go to the bathroom Lucy? You should probably wash your hands first.” Lisanna chimed in.

Ah yes, the pickle disaster of 2012. Lucy had been eating a pickle only minutes before she was to check her blood sugar, and being the silly little blonde she was, forgot to wash her hands, and had a seizure and a half when her blood sugar was more than double what it should be.

One trip to the hospital later, all of us learned an important lesson. Pickles are demon penises, and you should never, under any circumstances, eat them.

“Oh, yeah, probably.” Lucy blushed in embarrassment and stood up, followed by Levy, and then me. I just wanted to come and make sure that everything was all right.

“Do you feel sick at all?” Levy asked kindly.

“No, no, I just got really worried there, is all.” She said timidly, her teeth reaching her bottom lip as we all huddled into the bathroom.

While Lucy washed her hands, Levy and I stood guard near the door. Lucy hated when people pitied her because of her disease, and I didn’t blame her one bit. So we generally kept it a secret.

Which…now that I think about it…is sort of a horrible idea…

“Ok, Levy, can you grab the insulin?”

Levy assisted Lucy, seeing as she was completely familiar with her routine. I told her that she had to inject it into her stomach.

I was 100% used to Lucy’s needles, I’d injected her before and even though it may seem gross or creepy at first it’s actually not that bad. Well, for me anyway. I shouldn’t really speak for Lucy, who, you know, actually gets impaled by the needle.

“Ok, done.” Levy retracted the needle with a proud smile.

And then, we all had the ever loving bajeezus scared out of us when the door busted open with a vicious slam.

Levy, still wielding Lucy’s needle, held it in front of her like a sword and Lucy was cowering behind her little black bag.

Six huge hockey players barreled in, all talking and laughing.

“Are we…are we in the guy’s bathroom?” Levy squeaked, still refusing to move the needle.

Lucy looked around, probably in search of a spare urinal.

“I don’t…think so…” she concluded. The players had still neglected to notice us, laughing and talking and walking over to the dispenser thingy.

“Uh…excuse us?” Levy asked, attempting to get the tallest players attention that was closest to us.

He turned around, and I recognized him, just barely.

“Oh! Ah, shit, we’re sorry, we didn’t think anyone was in here.” He apologized, the other players still busy doing…whatever the hell they were doing.

“Kind of a stupid assumption, it’s halftime, right?” I asked dryly, sounding a lot bitchier than I had intended.

He studied me for a second. “Oh…ah! I know you, you’re…Julie? Something? I saw you at the swim meet.”

I wasn’t sure whether to be offended, or just creeped out.

“Yeah. Something like that. Why are you here?” I gestured to the girls bathroom with a wild shrug.

“Oh, right. We’re getting tampons.”

Ah, of course, why didn’t I assume that?

“Why.” Lucy asked, well, more like told.

“For Gray’s nose! Coach always makes us use them, they work better than tissues, or whatever.” He shrugged.

Hm…I’m 87% positive his name is something really stupid, like, ‘fighter’ or some other weird star wars-ish name.

“You’re seriously just going to shove a tampon up Gray’s nose?” I said, not really trying to prevent the eruption of giggles from my mouth.

“Hey, whatever works.” The guy shrugged, and took notice of the other players who had gotten the tampon and were about to leave.

“Send me a picture,” I bid, not able to picture Gray within the vicinity of  a tampon. I don’t know, I guess his manly hotness just sort of…cancelled them out.

“I’m gonna need your number first,” the guy shot back with a smirk.

Walked right into that one.

“Aha, funny. Good luck out there.” I said, a lot more cheerfully than I actually was.

“Aw, what? I don’t get your digits?” The guy asked, a silly smile on his face.

Well…the guy wasn’t too creepy…he was giving off the sort of big-brother vibe, or whatever you call it. And it wasn’t like he was actually going to text me anyways.

“Well…sure…” I said slowly. He smiled with half of his mouth, before pulling his phone from god knows where.

I rattled off my phone number to him quickly, a shocked, and stunned, Levy and Lucy behind me.

 It did feel a teensy bit nice to get noticed.

Teensy, tinsy. But still there.

“It’s Juvia, by the way.” I said, figuring that if I gave this dude my phone number he should probably take my name with it.

“I’m Sting. But I bet you already knew that.” He winked and walked away, but not before running into the bathroom door and awkwardly scooting away.

(before you guys freak out, FUCK NO I am not trying to put a lame ass love triangle in using STING for fucks sakes, he is simply there for a different reason.)

(and also, sting. I needed him in this story.)

“Juvia! That was…”

“You just gave that guy your…”

“And he was cute!” Lucy finished, shaking my shoulders.

“Oh, relax, it’s not like he’s actually going to text me.” I repeated rationally, opening the bathroom door to escort her out.

“Oh, but did you see that? He was hitting on you! Oh my god, Juvia! This is so exciting! Oh I have to tell Erza, and Lisanna, and Jellal, and…” As Lucy listed off the entire student body, I tried to remember where I had seen Sting before.

It was something big…and it was just on the tip of my…

“-oooh! And Mr. Hammond! He’ll want to know as well!”

I resisted the urge to smash my head through the glass that separated the rink from the stands. Was this really necessary?

“Maybe I should just put a banner around the whole school!” Lucy shouted, clapping her hands together like a walrus from Seaworld.

“Yeah Luce, it’ll say ‘local girl gives phone number to guy, rejoice!’” I said sarcastically.

“Come on Ju-Ju, you of all people should be excited about this!” Levy scolded.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” I said blankly, sidling back up to our seats. The players had already returned to the ice, and I found myself searching for Gray.

“What took you guys so long?” Gajeel asked, munching on pretzels absently as I took my seat.

“We ran into some people. Has the game started, or what?” I asked, unsure because the players were moving, but not very fast.

“No, we got about a minute. Is blondie alive?” He looked over at Lucy to make sure that she was indeed conscious.

“Yeah, she just dropped her bag was all.” I shrugged it off as the buzzer went off.

Now it’s starting.”

After a few minutes (or was it hours? I couldn’t really tell with this game…) some guy got slammed into the wall and had to be shipped out into an ambulance.

Gajeel, once again, assured me that it was perfectly normal but I had my doubts.

Then it all started dying down, you could tell the game was almost over because the snack bar with ridiculously over priced snacks from hell had closed up and people had begun leaving early to beat traffic.

But now that a solid quarter of the people had left, I could perfectly see the game.

“Ooh look! Gajeel! That guy’s got the puck!”

“Yup.”

“Ohmygosh, now that guy took it!”

“Uh huh.”

“Holy shit! It just went flying! This is crazy!”

“God.”

With Gajeel quickly getting irritated with my wonder, I was glad that the game was almost over. But still, I could feel myself drawing closer to the game. It was really exciting, you could never tell who was winning or losing. Gajeel begged to differ, but I told him to shut up so that dilemma is solved.

The clocky timer thing was down to only a few seconds, and Gray had the puck.

I would be a complete bitch-ass liar if I said I thought he wasn’t going to make a goal within the last second like some super hockey god ninja.

Suddenly he came to a speeding halt and his hockey stick flew out in front of him. I think. I don’t know, it was impossible to tell he went so fast.

“Gajeel, what happene-”

A buzzer went off and I heard cheering. We must’ve won.

I mean, we were winning anyways, but I’m not sure if Gray had made that goal or not…

But soon Gajeel was standing next to me, clapping.

“That was fuckin’ awesome. We just made it to state.” He rejoiced, throwing and empty pepsi bottle at the ice.

Then I really realized how exciting this was. We just made it to state. The state championship, and Gray had made it.

…All the more pressure to go to a big time University.

I sighed, digging my cool hands in my sweatshirt pockets and burying my cheeks and chin into my scarf.

I lightly pulled my phone out of my pocket. 

And then I screamed.

Like a loud scream, but it was sort of muffled because I was pretty shocked so my voice kind of died mid-screech.

Fuck you Sting.

That absolute dickburger had sent me a picture, of Gray, vERY MUCH SHIRTLESS. In the locker room, wearing his hockey pants, flipping off the camera, holding a tampon.

I’ve never seen something so gorgeously hilarious in my entire existence.

So I laid there on the bleachers, you know, convulsing, with Gajeel staring at me, frightened.

“What. The. Fuck?” He asked, just…staring. It was a good thing that Levy, Lucy, and Lisanna had all left early, or they would’ve suspected something. Insanity, probably.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m just…sorry…” I wiped stray tears from my eyes as I attempted to send a jumbled response back to Sting.

Ok, just one more look, surely his probably rock hard attractive chest muscles won’t kill me in one glance, right?

Wrong. Wrong, I was wrong I WAS WRONG.

“Shit Jubes, do you need an ambulance?” Gajeel asked, scratching the side of his head worriedly.

“No. I’m fine.” I said, my voice muffled by my scarf.

“Suit yourself. See you Monday.” Gajeel started walking down the street. Lucky bastard, he lives a block away from the school he can just sleep in until seven twenty and still be on time for school.

Oh wait. Fuck, I’m alone.

I texted my dad to come pick me up, praying that he was still awake and not watching TV.

Surprisingly, he texted back rather quickly, telling me he’d be here in five.

Plus, the game had ended at nine thirty. No ass-frying for me, I’d make it home by my dad’s half-assedly set curfew.

Looks like my butt-fucking-shitty luck has just run out, and it was time for a small dose of actual, fire-breathing good luck.

Plus, I now had a shirtless picture of Gray in my possession.

Ok, ok. I’ll only look at it…once a week. Maybe twice. Depends on how my week is going. I might actually die from the amount of nosebleeds that that picture will surely give me.

Which is actually ironic, because his nose is bleeding in the picture.

Dammit, why can’t I just be hilarious?

No new texts from my dad had arrived. Great, just brilliant, really. This is exactly what I needed, to spend time, alone, sitting on the curb like a total weirdo freezing my ass cheeks off.

Ok, I just need to calm down; it’s only been a few minutes…just a few minutes.

To distract myself, I slipped my phone back out and texted Sting back.

wtf dont text me porn

I slid my phone into my scarf for easy access and went back to drowning in my own thoughts.

The parking lot was empty now, well, save a few cars towards the back, but those were probably just the janitor’s cars.

And there was no way in the depths of hell that I was going to ask them for a ride.

Ok, ten minutes. That’s fine, that’s fine. He’s still got time.

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out quickly to distract myself.

Sting.

its not porn if his vagina isnt showing

Ah, I could already tell that we were going to get along very well. But I still couldn’t quite put my finger on where I remembered him from, but I knew it was something big.

but his boobs are still showing. get your child porn away from me.

Ha ha. I’m funny on Sundays, I promise.

The stars looked nice tonight. You could actually see them, usually the lights of the city or the neighborhood drowned them out, but I could spot every circumpolar right now if I wanted to.

Ah, ok. Draco…Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Cassopoiopia, or whatever you call it…and…what’s the other one? Cygnus? Papyrus? No, I’m positive it started with a C…

While I pondered the whereabouts of the final constellation, I simultaneously hoped that my dad would actually bloody show up.

This would definitely not be the first time I’d been stranded, it happened mostly at swim practices. My dad would text me a simple on my way and like a total dumb asshole I would believe him. And then, an agonizing hour and a half later, he would arrive and claimed to have been ‘robbed by teens’ or ‘struck with a double heart attack’ when we both very well knew that he had been distracted by something shiny. And by shiny I mean the TV.

And it wasn’t like my mom would interfere, I’m pretty sure today was her MFCT meeting. It’s nit actually called MFCT, that’s just what my dad and I call it. It stands for Moms for Channing Tatum, because lord knows that’s the only thing they talk about. She said it was something like an ‘educational book related talk session’? But she was fooling absolutely no one, especially with the obscene amount of wine bottles she brought to each meeting.

The street was completely dark. This only served to piss me off further, because it was just now dawning on me that my dad probably wasn’t going to get here. Ever, in fact. I would not be surprised if he had sent me the text, and then subsequently fell asleep.

To make matters worse, the school doors were locked so I had no way of getting back to the warm, heated building. I was doomed to get my ass frozen solid to the curb.

My funeral will be nice. You know, dark flowers, not an open casket (come on guys, that’s gross. Nobody wants to see my dead face) soft music, my mom crying and being a total attention whore…

Swoosh!

“-The difference is, I don’t fucking give a shit about that. All I care about is that your position at state is not jeopardized.”

“Oh, would you shut the fuck up?! I’ll be fine, if you could just stop acting like a goddamn mom-”

“See? You don’t get it, do you? This is the biggest opportunity of your life, determines whether or not you get a full scholarship to the U!”

“Well, maybe I don’t-”

This is exactly what I fucking needed. This is the equivalent of getting stage three terminal brain cancer.

“Ah, my favourite hobo.”

Stab my lower intestine.

“Hey Gray.”

He sized me up, and I could imagine his half amused half calculating smile that he was probably wearing.

“You uh…you waiting for someone?” He asked, a smile breaking through his voice.

“Yes Gray. I’m waiting for my horse and buggy, which was scheduled to arrive at nine thirty.” I said tiredly.

“So that’s a no.” He said more than asked.

“Pretty much.” I yawned.

“You’re just going to sit here? All night?” He asked amusedly.

“Hopefully only until one. I’ve got shit to do tomorrow.” I mumbled.

A car drove up, and I realized that it must’ve been Lyon, Gray’s friend, or brother, or whatever he was, that he was arguing with.

“Gray, get your ass in the car.” He said after rolling down the window conspicuously and shooting me a friendly glare.

“Yeah, yeah. Come on Juvia.” He motioned for me to stand up as he opened his car door.

“What?” I asked dumbly.

“Get in. We’re driving you home.” He said simply, leaning down so that I could take his hand.

“We most certainly are not.” Lyon intercepted, turning back to argue with Gray.

“Shut the fuck up Lyon, it’s not like you have some place to be.” Gray rolled his eyes and took my hand without my consent, pulling me into the car with ease.

“Well, I-”

Can’t stay out at night. It’s not safe. Raccoons and such.” Gray interrupted. Lyon rolled his icy eyes in the mirror and began to drive.

“Where do you live?’ He grumbled.

“Uh…just off of Cliff, and to the left of Curry.” I mumbled.

 I was in Gray’s car.

“Gray, as I was saying, I want you at the rink all of tomorrow. You were sucking ass out there today, if you’re like that at state you’ll never get into the University.”

There was so much fire in Gray’s eyes; I probably could’ve roasted marshmallows over them.

“I can’t, I’m going to the hills tomorrow for school.” Gray argued back, a bite in the edge of his words.

Oh yeah, shit that’s tomorrow…

“Fuck the hills! You need practice, state is in two weeks! And you’re dicking around with girls; get your ass into gear.” Lyon growled, speeding through a dangerously red light.

Oh, he was talking about me. So I’m the five dollar Florida whore now.

“Go to hell Lyon, not everything is about the goddamn University.” Gray said, his voice far beyond annoyed and trekking into beat-im-up ville.

“Are you fucking serious? I’m looking out for you, this college is your future!” Lyon yelled.

“This isn’t about me! This is about you, and your failed college dreams. There are other colleges you know.” Gray bit back.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Lyon asked darkly.

“Like Holy Angels!”

Aw, that’s cute.  He used my college.

Lyon laughed coldly. “What the fuck is that?”

Ok, wow. Eat a dick Lyon.

“What do you mean, what the fuck is that? It’s a school.” I shot, immediately regretting diving face first into their argument.

“A shitty school, never heard of it.” Lyon reasoned.

“Well no offense, but what you’ve never heard of could fill a warehouse!” I flung.

Whoops. Strike three for Juvia. I’m dead, that’s it. My sassiness finally dug me a six foot grave.

At least Gray was happy. He was laughing his ass off.

Lyon however, looked like his face was about to explode.

“Jesus Gray, where the fuck did you find her?” He finally asked, like I was some cheap how he could pay to see.

“You’ve probably never heard of it.” Gray said slyly, catching my eye.

Dammit he’s so sinfully sexy without even trying why would you do this to me?

“Shut up Gray! You’d better be at the hills for less than an hour.” He stewed. I was actually kind of proud now, I’d shoved him in his place. Asshole.

I spotted my house, dimly lit by the nearest streetlight.

“Uh…thanks. For the ride.” I said awkwardly, climbing out of the car.

“I’ll walk you up.” Gray said, almost excitedly.

Shit. Fuck. He’s walking me to the door? Why is he doing that? This isn’t a date??!!

Every alarm in my brain went off, it was annoying, like one giant fire alarm extravaganza and all that was happening was Gray was walking me to my front door.

“Thanks. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lyon at a loss for words.” He thanked, even though I should be the one thanking him for not letting me freeze to death like the dude from the goddamn shining on the street.

“Well, he deserved it.” I reasoned. He really was pushy when it came to college, I could see why Gray was having such a hard time with him on that deal.

When we finally got up to the door, I was expecting Gray to leave, but he lingered when I knocked on the door hesitantly.

Shit. What time is it anyway?

I sideways glanced at y phone through my scarf, seeing that the time was indeed fifteen past.

Shit.

I knocked again, this time to be met with my mother’s loud voice.

“I’m coming, I’m coming…who in the world could be here at this hour…”

Oh, I don’t know, maybe your half frozen daughter?

My mom opened the door, and to my absolute and utter horror, was completely decked out in one of those gross greenish cucumber mask thingies and she had her fluffy ink robe on and was holding a half empty bottle of wine.

“Juvia! What on earth are you doing here this late?! Mark! Mark! Get your ass over here!” My mom screeched, chucking the cucumbers onto the ground and glaring.

“You are far past curfew, I have been worried sick-

Oh yeah mom, I can really tell.

“-Your father and I were this close to calling the police-”

“What? What’s happening? Fire?” My dad asked groggily, clearly being recently awoken from a nap.

“Mark! Your daughter is late!” My mom cried shrilly.

I was very, very close to just walking back to the front yard and just telling Lyon to run me over. Very close. My family had still refused to acknowledge Gray’s presence.

“What? I told you if you got here past ten, I’d fry your ass on the stove!?”

Finally, I spoke up. “Well it’s not my fault, you said you were coming to pick me up!” 

“No I didn’t!”

“It’s right here, on my phone!” I held it up so that my family could see.

“You should’ve gotten a ride from a friend then!” My mom argued.

“I did!” I yanked Gray’s arm up and waved it around, not realizing my mistake.

My family froze, and slowly peered out the door to examine Gray’s sheepish face.

“Hi.” He said weakly.

My mother’s dangerous face immediately turned warm, and my dad went from crazy shotgun dad to fangirl dad.

“You’re Gray Fullbuster.” My dad said. Oh god I wanted to punch him, if he asked for an autograph I swear…

“Uh…yeah. Sir.” Gray said, unsure of how to react.

My dad smiled and laughed. “Well, if I knew it was you, I wouldn’t have made such a scene! You’re practically carrying our team to state!” My dad cheered.

My fake smile was wearing thin. I’m pretty sure I looked like Heath Ledger, too.

“Oh, uh. Thank you.” Gray said modestly.

“No problem, say, the night’s still young, you two have some fun.”

And now I’m coughing. And choking loudly.

“What?” I coughed out, holding my scarf until my knuckles turned white.

“Well, I thought you’d be out partying, but you’re with a responsible sports star.” My dad reasoned, although his reasoning seemed to be shadowed by a large amount of drugs.

“Dad, are you doing crystal meth? Are you high? Just because he’s your favorite sports player doesn’t mean you can ship him off with some cash and a ring and it’s all done!”

Aaaand I just bought myself a one way ticket to house jail. Fuck.

…My dad didn’t seem fazed at all.

“If only it were that simple. Instead, I get to pay for your college.” My dad shrugged and I died.

Yup. That’s it. End of story. Juvia died at the end of chapter four, or whatever fucking chapter we’re on. All done.

“I thought you didn’t know I played hockey.” Gray whispered under his breath, his eyes glued to mine. Shit. Blew myself on that one.

“I thought you were a different Gray Fullbuster.” I whispered back, hopefully allowing him to drop it.

He was about to say something else, but I interrupted loudly.

“Well, it’s late, and we have a school project tomorrow. I should probably turn in…” I lazily snuck through the door only to be stopped by my father.

“A group project? Sounds fun, are you two going to be alone?” My mom asked sneakily. God I want to fucking murder them.

No. Two other people are coming, we’re just going to the hills.” I muttered.

“I bet you want me to drive you again.” My dad said monotonously.

“That’s ok, I’ve got a car, I’ll drive her.” Gray interrupted. Well shit.

Thank you Gray. For everything. And you can go now.” I said, hoping my voice wasn’t too panicky.

“Sounds great! And afterwards, you lot can come in and watch the game! It’s the least we can offer you, since you were sweet enough to drive our daughter home.” My mom said sweetly.

Oh god. I’m gonna puke. I’m gonna straight up die from embarrassment. Sorry Gray, for leaving you alone with Lisanna and Cobra, but I’m
going to a better place.

“That sounds nice.” Gray said, surprisingly sounding happy.

“Great, we’ll see you then!” My dad said, sounding very fake dad-like. God, we’re not the fucking brady bunch. Don’t leave me Gray, save me!

“See you tomorrow Juvia,” Gray waved, giving me a one finger salute that was honestly really sexy and now I kind of just want to lick him.

Fuck. I’m literally so screwed.

Do you know what my original plane was? It was to grow the fuck up, never, ever, fucking talk to Gray, go the fuck to college, and get a fucking life. Gray literally fucked up that plan so much only a sponge would be able to clean up the mess.

The car drove away speedily, with Lyon probably extremely eager to get the hell away from me. I don’t blame him, my luck could light a four leaf clover on fire.

“What the fuck was that?!” I asked accusingly, looking at my parents with their fake sappy cutesiness.

My mom dropped the act immediately. “Oh come on Juvia, he was a perfect 10!! I want my legacy to be supermodels!” She hip checked e and sauntered back to the kitchen.

“And I want my grandkids to play hockey. This is really the only thing in life we agree on.” My dad reasoned, gesturing to my mom and shrugging.

Ok, so my parents ship the fuck out of Gray and me. Shit.

“Alright, well, I’m just gonna go jump out my bedroom window, ok?” I asked rhetorically, stomping up to my room and throwing myself on my bed.

Fuck you, Gray Fullbuster.

ee-ayyy-games  asked:

holy shit that chrysalis figure is so damn weird,she's gonna poke someones eye out with those things

I’m genuinely torn over the edgy mlp figures because I hate the fact that something made for kid girls was taken and exaggeratedly masculinized to appeal to adult men but at the same time I love hilariously garbage toys so like, part of me is like “that horse has fucking knives taped to its legs for no reason, we should buy it” the only thing stopping me is knowing that I should try to be a responsible consumer

the twilight one is cracking my shit up because she looks so angry?? like, they could have made her look determined or whatever, but they specifically decided that they needed her to be pulling a face like something from small soldiers

HORSE WAR, HUH, YEAH, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN’

Karasuno and the weed brownie
  • Daichi: what's that thing you bought?
  • Noya: an old guy met me at the market and asked me if I could give my mom a gift, i thought he was pretty nice
  • Tanaka: what else did he say?
  • Noya: nothing besides that, oh, wait, he told me to be careful on the streets cuz they're dangerous
  • Tsukki: I think he mistook you for a child
  • Yamaguchi: *laughs* TSUKKI
  • Hinata: I don't think he mistook you Noya-san, he was just being nice
  • Noya: that's right Shouyou, Tsukishima doesn't know what he says
  • Tsukki: neither does you, since you barely finished middle school
  • Yamaguchi: *laughs* TSUKKI
  • Tanaka: YOU TRY'NA FIGHT WITH MY BRO?
  • Noya: YOU MAY BE BIG BUT I'M BAD
  • Asahi: Nishinoya, please *trembling*
  • Yamaguchi: *stutters* TSUKKI
  • Sugawara: this cake smells weird, it seems to be rotten. never trust these weirdos that give you free food out on the streets
  • Daichi: yeah, you can end up eating rotten stuff
  • Tsukki: he's not your son, even if he's a kid
  • Noya: TSUKISHIMA
  • Asahi: Nishinoya, please *trembling*
  • Yamaguchi: *laughs* TSUKKI
  • Hinata: it tastes weird
  • Sugawara: DON'T EAT THAT
  • Daichi: SPIT IT OUT NOW
  • Tsukki: we already know who's gonna die first
  • Kageyama: what are you talking about? *eats the brownie*
  • Sugawara: AM I GOING TO NEED TO GET AN EYE ON ALL OF YOU?
  • Daichi: KAGEYAMA SPIT THAT OUT
  • Hinata: I'm not feeling well
  • Sugawara: DAICHI HE'S GONNA DIE, CALL 911
  • *daichi crying on the phone*
  • Tanaka: this tastes weird, but it's good
  • Noya: hey, what shouyou's doing?
  • *hinata pokes kageyama's balls*
  • Kageyama: DUMBASS HINATA
  • Hinata: YOUR BALLS ARE AMAZING KAGEYAMA, TOSS THEM TO ME
  • Kageyama: DUMBASS HINATA
  • Noya: are you listening?
  • Tanaka: I'm listening bro
  • Noya: *cries* bro
  • Sugawara: DAICHI WHERE ARE YOU?
  • Daichi: Asahi get up, please, what happened?
  • Asahi: the voices are scaring me, the voices are telling me bad things, the voices are telling me to be more man
  • Sugawara: what he's talking about?
  • Daichi: Suga look *points to little bits of brownie* we lost another one
  • Sugawara: *cries*
  • Tsukki: idiots, c'mon Yama... *stares at Tanaka and Noya putting brownie on his mouth* what the...
  • Noya: OPEN YOUR MOUTH YAMAGUCHI
  • Yamaguchi: *cries* TSUKKI
  • Hinata: *arguing with a post thinking it's ushijima*
  • Kageyama: I must spike, serve and receive. I must spike, serve and receive.
  • Tsukki: are you saying you need to be top and bottom?
  • Yamaguchi: *gets up in a wall and throws his hands up to the sky while looking at the moon* TSUKKI
  • Tsukki: I'm surrounded by idiots *stares at Tanaka taking his shirt off*
  • Sugawara: DAICHI RESIST
  • DAICHI: GOMEN SUGA I MUST DO THIS *bites the brownie and dies*
  • Sugawara: DAICHI HOW AM I GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THESE KIDS ALONE?
  • Asahi: I want my mom
  • Sugawara: I am your mom
  • Noya: *sitting in tanaka's back and waving his shirt* I'M TOLLER THAN U TUQUICIMA
  • Tsukki: Tsukishima, you mean
  • Yamaguchi: *falls off the wall* TSUKKI
  • Sugawara: *presses play on his cellphone and puts lana del rey* daichi whenever you are know that I'll take care of our sons *does the hunger games hand thing*
  • Asahi: I don't wanna be a man
  • Kageyama: GUA PA GYS WA
  • Hinata: AH GUA NY WA PA
  • Ennoshita: if I understand what they're saying does that mean I ate an brownie?
  • Tsukki: you ate three already
  • Hinata: Tsukishima cellphone for you *hands him the phone*
  • Tsukki: huh?
  • Akiteru: I'M KARASUNO'S ACE
Make up Fails

Calum:

“Y/N, are you almost finished?” Calum whined.
“Kinda, but you keep messing me up. Stop moving!” I exclaimed, as I readjusted my hand, lining his eyes with black.
This sounds weird, but I swear, Calum does not wear makeup on stage. We were just bored back on the bus and after 10 minutes of begging, Calum let me put makeup on him. Of course, I rushed to get my makeup bag and begin work before he could change his mind.
I had already contoured and highlighted his face, and put pink blush on his cheeks. I also applied smokey eyeshadow on his lids and put on his mascara. All I had to do now was finish his eyeliner, which he made close to impossible.
“Okay, I’m done,” I announced, winging his eyeliner perfectly.
I handed Calum the mirror, which he immediately took. “Daaammmnnn, I’d make a hot girl,” he said, after examining himself.
I laughed. “Weeeeellllll….”
Calum gave me his ‘yeah, right’ look. “Please, if I were a girl, you’d go gay for me,” he joked. “I can’t believe you wear this much makeup!”
“Oh, I don’t, but you needed the extra help,” I teased.
He glared at me. “Ha-ha, funny. Seriously though, it feels like I’m wearing 5 extra skins.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be dramatic.”
“I’m not,” he replied, standing up.
“Where you going?”
Calum gave me another look, his ‘are you dumb?’ look. “Wash this shit off. You didn’t expect me to wear this all day, did you?” he questioned, walking off towards the bathroom.

Ashton:

“Hey Keek, y/n and I were bored, so I let her put makeup on me. I’d say she did a great job. She did some wing liner and everything.” He zoomed in on his face. “Now the artist is doing her makeup,” he said, pointing the camera to me. “We’re going on a date.”
Instantly, I shielded my face from the camera. “Ash, stop!”
“Y/N, the fan wants to see your beautiful face.”
“The fans can wait until I have makeup on my entire face, not half of it.”
“C’mon babe,” Ashton said, walking to me and putting the camera closer to me.
“Nooo,” I said, pushing him away.
Ashton laughed, facing the phone back to him. “No one ever wants to be a Keek with me,” he complained.
“Because you’re lame,” I replied, to which Ashton flipped me off.
I laughed. “Babe, aren’t you gonna wash your face?” I asked.
Ashton pointed the camera at me. “What?”
“Aren’t you gonna wash your face?”
“No, I’m going out like this,” he replied.
I shook my head, smiling. “No you’re not. Ashton, wash your face.”
Ashton laughed. “Finnneee.” He pointed the camera at him. “Guess I gotta go. Bye, Keek.”

Luke:

“At least give me a hint, y/n!”
“Luke, where else would it go? Lashes?”
Luke gave me a horrified look. “You put this on your eyelashes?”
I nodded. “Yeah…”
“Well, I’m not gonna do that,” he said, tossing the tube aside. “Might poke your eye out or something, dangerous.”
I laughed. How was Luke Hemmings doing my makeup? Well, I had already started my makeup when Luke came into my room. He was watching me, and after a while, started asking questions. Somehow, that led to him doing my makeup. It was actually fun, he was being so cautious about it.
“Okay, I’m done,” he said, putting a blush brush back into its container.
I giggled. “You don’t sound so sure.”
“Because you- it doesn’t look right.”
“Let’s see.” I grabbed a hand mirror and peered at my reflection. “Oh God,” I exclaimed, bursting into laughter. “I look terrible.”
Even though Luke had skipped over the mascara, he didn’t do the same for eyeliner. With that he did a terrible job, drawing a crooked line that didn’t even touch the base of my eyelashes. He also paired red lips with silver and pink eyeshadow, and did not do my eyebrows. As for my blush, he applied it like how you would in cartoons, so there were two pink circles on my cheeks.
“Hey!” Luke exclaimed. “I worked hard on that.”
I laughed. “Yeah, you should totally stick to music. Makeup is not your calling.”
Luke laughed. “You’re mean.”

Michael:

“Dammit,” I exclaimed.
I looked into the mirror to see that I still had thick black eyeliner surrounding my eyes. I seriously washed my face over a hundred times and yet, the eyeliner didn’t disappear. Instead, it seemed to get worse. I really wished I had gone to Sephora earlier and gotten the makeup remover I needed. Instead, I ignored the fact that I had none left, let Michael do my makeup, and now I was suffering the consequences.
Michael appeared at the bathroom doorway. “You okay?” he asked, smirking.
“I can’t get this off and I look like a racoon,” I exclaimed.
Michael only laughed at my frustration and snapped a quick picture.
“MICHAEL!”
“I’m sorry, but it’s hilarious!”
“I’m serious, Michael. It just gets worse!”
He laughed. “At least you look punk rock,” he joked.
I glared at him. “Michael, get out,” I exclaimed, shutting the door on a laughing kitten.
I was scrubbing my face when my phone buzzed with a twitter mention. Michael. I dried my hands and took my phone, opening twitter.

@Michael5sos: My beautiful racoon-faced girlfriend
I opened the picture attached to find the photo he just took of me. I tweeted back.
@Y/T/N: @Michael5sos I’m gonna kill you after I get this off my face
@Michael5sos: @Y/T/N so in the next 5 years?
@Y/T/N: @Michael5sos never again will I ever let you do my makeup
@Michael5sos: @Y/T/N I was tryna make u look punk rock, not a racoon u did that on ur own
@Y/T/N: I hate you
@Michael5sos: I love you too

 Okay so my request was a Christmas one. Fred and Yn have been dating for a few years now and it’s their 7th year. Fred asks Yn to celebrate Christmas with his family and friends this year. She gets to go. Later in the story Molly is making dinner while everyone’s(teenage wise) laughing and talking in Ginny, Hermione, and Yn’s room. As Molly calls them all down for dinner they all run down the stairs as fast as they can. On their way down Fred catches Yn under the mistletoe and they kiss.) After they share their kiss Fred asks her to marry him. She agrees to it (her reaction is up to you but she has to agree). When they get to the kitchen Tonks (Whom is older is Yn’s mom- Fred doesn’t know it yet) asks about the ring. The girls in the kitchen surround Yn and George pulls Fred aside. He jokingly asks Fred “Are you sure you know what you're doing Freddie?” and Fred smiles at Yn and says “I know exactly what I'm doing”. Yn smiles at him - as she overheard them. Thanks again! :)

 I have had this sitting in my message box for weeks. I haven't had the energy or imagination to write it. I just don't think i wanted to…But i feel like a dick and just wanted to get it out of there. Here it is. Probas not my best.

———————————————————————————————-

 I walked into Ginny's room.

“Finally.” Fred got up and gave me  a hug.

“babe i went to go get water.” I teased.

“It was too long.” He pouted.

“Get a room!” Ron groaned. Everyone laughed and we sat back on the carpet and talked around the fire. This wasn’t the first time i stayed at Fred house over a holiday, but it was my first christmas. And i felt more at home than ever.  

“Did you ask about supper when you were down there?” Hermione asked. 

“it should be done any second now-”

“Dinner!” Molly’s voice echoed up the stairs.

       Everyone got on their toes and raced down the stairs.  Half way down. I slowed down and walked.  Fred met me at the bottom.

“Hi.” He smiled and took my hand.  We walked together towards the table. All the seats were taken except one. 

“ill go get you one.” He kissed me on the cheek and walked into a room. I stood there and looked at all the smiling faces. Everyone enjoying each other. Before i knew it. Fred was back with a chair.

“Ahhh.. could you look at that.” Freed smirked pointing up. I looked towards his finger and saw something come out of the cracks of the wood. A small vine moved its way down creating little red beads and leafs.  I smiled and looked back at him.

“What a romantic.” I chuckled wrapping my hands around his neck pecking his lips and hugging him. I Would kiss him longer, but family was just in the other room watching. Fred pulled away and held my arms. 

“close your eyes,” Fred whispered. 

“What.” I asked confused. 

“Do it.” He laughed. I Felt soft tips poke my nose. I could hear rustling in front of me. 

“Can I open my eyes now?” I asked nervous. Was he gonna pop out of no where. was his Face gonna be right in front of mine? I could not tell with him. And i loved it. 

“Go ahead.” His voice was soft and soothing.  I opened my eyes  slowly and clenched the sides of my jeans.  I looked down to she him on on knee with a small black box.  My hands shook. I held my screams.

“y/n, this isn’t new. you know i love you and i just…….. I just want to spend forever with you, I couldn’t see a life without you y/n. Please.y/n will you marry me? ” Collective gasps came from behind me. I knew what i needed to say but it would come out. I opened my mouth and squeaked.  He laughed and got up. I just nodded and fell into his arms. I couldn’t think of another way to spend my christmas. 

——————————

i realized after i wrote it i didn’t put in the end dialogue and i don’t think i wanted it to end that way. sorry. Its shit i know,. 

 Send in requests… or dont. Its fine.