it's funny because the dude trained to work in the church

Ships (Alec x Gender Neutral Reader)

A/N; Just a little silly imagine based round Jace finding out about shipping, please excuse any mistakes, enjoy!
Warnings; mentions of incest?


‘Jace it’s not your fault’ Alec tried to comfort his friend straight-faced but was failing miserably.

‘What’s not his fault, because usually where Jace is concerned, it’s probably his fault’ You walked in to the institute kitchen intently reading your book, and paying little attention to your boyfriend and his golden haired parabatai.

‘Oh nothing much.. Just that Jace is Clary’s brother’ Alec guffawed.

Jace shot him a glare.

‘It’s not funny Alec!’ Jace gritted out feeling awfully sorry for himself.

You dropped your book all thoughts of reading abandoned, Alec snapped his attention to you immediately face full of concern.

‘Wait so you and Clary aren’t a thing anymore?’ you asked cautiously

‘Ew no, I mean there is a lot of rules in this world that I like to ignore but incest isn’t one of them’ Jace sighed defeated, his head falling in to his hands.

‘I mean you kinda did…’ Alec muttered trying to hide his amusement but he lost it again when Jace glared at him.

‘Oh for the Angels sake, I owe Magnus a play date with Church’ you said grumpily.

Both boys looked at you confused, and you lent on the kitchen table stealing their snacks as you explained;

‘Me and Magnus had a bet on which ship would sail’ you said simply as Alec playfully tried to take the sugary goodness away from you.

‘What’s a ship?’ Jace asked utterly confused, he looked like a puppy being shown his reflection for the first time, on second thought if he was seeing his reflection, there would be a lot more pouting and flexing.

You giggled to yourself, adding even more confusion to Jace.

‘A ship is when you get people you want to be together and you ship them, they don’t have to even like eachother its just who you want them to be with?’ Alec looked to you for confirmation and you nodded overly amused ‘and if they get together your ship has sailed’ he finished triumphantly.

You ruffled his hair, ‘Aw babe you doooo listen!’ you giggled again.

Jace looked nauseated at you both. But then a look of competitive curiosity over took him.

‘Who was I shipped with?’ he tried to sound nonchalant but it didn’t really work.

You sighed sitting next to Alec and throwing your head down on his shoulder in defeat, he kissed the top of your head almost out of instinct which brought another smile to your face.

‘I shipped you with yourself’ you said sarcastically making Alec shake with laughter. Jace just looked offended.

‘Why?!’ he asked childishly.

‘Because!’ you squealed back ‘ you’ll never love anyone as much as you love yourself’ you stated simply.

‘Dude he/she has a point’ Alec nodded in agreement.

‘But seriously, I shipped you with Clary, the chemistry was there, but nobody can predict incest’ you sighed dramatically and you could hear Alec cackling next to you.

‘RIP Clace’ you pouted. ‘It would seem that Magnus’ prediction of Japheal is still in the running’

‘Wait what’s Clace? And whats’s Japhael?’ Jace was so lost at this point you could have dropped him in his bedroom and he wouldn’t know where he was.

‘They are ship names’ you stated moodily still sour from your loss to Magnus.

Alec tried to further explain;

‘Clary and Jace..’

‘Clace’ you piped in.

‘Jace and Raphael..’

‘Japhael.. not my best work I gotta admit’

Neither you or Alec noticed the look of utter disgust and shock take over his features at the mention of Raphael

‘RAPHAEL?! HE SHIPS ME WITH RAPHAEL?! I DON’T EVEN LIKE GUYS!’

You looked up at Jace bored and rolled your eyes at the “no homo” show of masculinity

‘Yeah well that doesn’t matter and in the words of Magnus; have you seen the way they look at each other all moody and smouldering the sex would be..’ But Jace cut you off by covering his ears and lalalalaing like a child.

‘So what’s our ship name?’ Alec asked curiously while running his hand through your hair. You leant in to it like a cat.

‘Ew that’s gross you don’t give yourself a ship name!’ you retorted indignantly.

‘Suuuuure that’s gross’ Jace said from across the table.

Alec stopped massaging your scalp, much to your disappointment.

‘Oh but shipping me, your boyfriend with Magnus, isn’t creepy?’

You shrugged your shoulders and popped more candy in your mouth.

‘You two are hot. Can you imagine how angelic your kids would be?’ you stated like it was no biggy.

It was now Jace’s turn to laugh at the weirded out face of Alec.

‘okay so what other ship names are there?’ Jace asked, he was genuinely interested and you seemed to have taken his mind off of his incestuous relationship with his sister.

‘Well as I said earlier there is, Clace, Japhael, Malec’ you said this dreamily just to annoy your other half, ‘Climon, Clary and Simon and Sizzy….. Shit’ you dropped the candy you had been munching on.

‘Let the Angel save us all’ you said gravely which got both boys attention.

‘Babe what do you mean? What’s wrong?’ Alec asked reaching out for you.

You looked from both boys and their confused expressions and tried to find the right words.

‘Sizzy’ is all you could make out. They still seemed confused.

‘Alec don’t you get it?!’ you asked panicked holding his face in your hands and staring him in the eyes.

‘Guys, Izzy was finally making some leeway with Simon, with Clary all mopey and Jace free he’s gonna swoop in! Do you remember what happened the last time Izzy didn’t get what she wanted?!’ you spoke so fast and with such terror in your eyes at the memories.

‘Oh shit’ both boys whispered, Jace clutching his hair as if to check it was still there and Alec clutching on to you like he may never see you again.

‘I just found out my girlfriend is my sister I can’t lose my hair too!’ Jace said terrified.

‘How am I gonna get pity sex?!’ you and Alec just looked at him with utter disgust.

‘Really Jace?’

‘Oh I’m sorry but Izzy coming at me with scissors is more frightening than you two having to spend some time apart!’ He argued defiantly. ‘Besides Y/N you’re her parabatai it’s your job to be there for her’

‘Which also means I’m her training partner and she is going to beat me to a pulp’ you whined.

Your shoulders slumped and you brought your hand up to your head dramatically.

‘Alec my love.. it’s been nice knowing you. ‘

Just then you heard the institute doors slam open and you all looked at each other wide eyed all shouting not it in unison, not knowing what to do, that’s when you heard an overly happy warlock shouting your name.

‘Y/N!!!!!!’

‘in here Magnus!’ you called and prepared yourself for defeat when a glorious idea struck you.

You grabbed Alec and Jace and ran out of the kitchen heading straight for yours and Alec’s shared bedroom, by this point the boys where on to your evil plan and Jace took off to barricade himself somewhere safe.

Magnus entered the kitchen to find it abandoned drinks and snacks scattered across the kitchen table. He stepped forward his foot hitting your long forgotten book. Assuming that you wouldn’t be long he picked it up settled himself at the table and began flipping through it. He’d gotten quite engrossed and hadn’t heard Izzy storm in behind him.

‘Magnus have you seen Y/N?’ she spat out ‘I really need to punch something right now’

‘Ahhh so you heard about the demise of Clace and my victory’ he smirked to himself and silently wondered why you had yet to show up.

Izzy sat down moodily next to Magnus playing with candy wrappers, he again was engrossed in your book.

‘Magnus?’

‘mhm?’ he hummed not really paying attention and hoping you would show up soon so he could gloat.

‘have you ever thought about getting a haircut?’

Hope you guys liked it!