Aries:Looking over at me during chemistry class: "Can I borrow a lightbulb? I mean, a marker?"
Taurus:Snapped her fingers in my other friend's face and said, "Snapperdoodle!" before a proud smile spread across her face and she said, "Roasted like the pepper you are!"
Gemini:After being told she dances like a white dad at a barbecue, she said, "I do not!" and then she turned to her white male math teacher who's like in his early thirties and said, "Dance for them. Show them how white dads dance at barbecues."
Cancer:When someone tried to take a piece of candy: "They were a Valentine's Day gift from my bf." And then when I asked if they were from her parents: "They're from my mother."
Leo:We were texting and she asked me to buy her food and I said yes, and since she usually helps me a lot in school, I told her that of course I would because she gives me brain food, so she sent me a chart of 'healthy brain foods' with the caption, "I gotcha girl"
Virgo:After I said 'I love life': "So do I. Why do you think I'm on the train that is it?"
Libra:Tried to scare my friend and was about to crawl along the ground and when my friend saw her, immediately said, "I'm tying my shoes!" while wearing flip flops.
Scorpio:Tried to sign one of our other friends up for a tractor fetish anonymous.
Sagitarrius:After we called her a cute cinnamon roll: "You know porcupines? And they look all cute? But then you touch them and you DIE?! I'm a porcupine."
Capricorn:After my other friend mentioned that she'd be in college while the friend was still a senior: "Nope! I'm takin' a gap year, honey! To Europa!"
Aquarius:While watching a t.v. show, someone new came onto the screen and she made a face and went, "Oh. He's not... He's not good looking. Oh, that's unfortunate."
Pisces:We were listening to Say No To This from the musical Hamilton and it's a song about sex/affairs and she goes, "I sing this in the shower!" And then she started dancing to it and I asked her what she does in the shower and she goes, "I sing."
‘Oh give it a rest, I could persuade you I’m not your typical, stoned 18 year old Give me a night I’ll make you’ “I know you’re looking for salvation in the secular age, but girl I’m not your savior” Wrestle to the ground. God help me now.