it's disgusting that i didn't even need to look this up

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.
  • Steph: Tim and Kon, sittin in a tree.
  • Dick: K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
  • Kon: for the last time, Tim and I have never made out!
  • Tim: It was just mouth-to-mouth!
  • Steph: wait
  • Tim: oops
  • Dick: are you saying that you have put your mouth on Kon's?
  • Damian: don't be vulgar, Grayson
  • Tim: yeah, okay, Kon SAVING MY LIFE is not making out
  • Cass: awww, you save each other!
  • Kon: we're teammates. it's what we do.
  • Cassie: he never gave ME mouth-to-mouth....
  • Kon: you never needed it!
  • Duke: how do you....even know mouth-to-mouth?
  • Kon: all heroes should know it!
  • Kara: yeah okay but who taught you?
  • Kon: I learned in the Teen Titans
  • Cassie: Teen Titans never taught me....just saying...
  • Kon: stop being gross!
  • Dick: Are you saying that being gay is gross, because if so, I am very disappointed in you--
  • Kon: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID
  • Jason: 's what it sounded like
  • Tim: Kon calling people who are gay gross would be hypocritical
  • Steph: and why is that, Timbo?
  • Tim: uh
  • Kon: I'm bi, okay?????
  • Kara: interesting. And how does Tim know this?
  • Tim: we're friends. We talk.
  • Steph: let me guess. It's 3 am, neither of you can sleep, Kon creeps into Tim's room--
  • Kara: Kon sits on the end of Tim's bed, they stare into each other's eyes--
  • Cassie: Kon says, softly, staring at the moonlight lighting up Tim's face--
  • Duke: "I'm bi, Tim."
  • Dick: "Bi....for YOU."
  • Tim: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
  • Steph: sureeeeeeee it didn't
  • Donna: that's how Dick came out as pan to me
  • Dick: sort of. I mean, I didn't say I was pan for her, but there was the moonlight, and the beds, and the 3 am part--
  • Damian: that never happened, Grayson
  • Donna: oh yeah it did, punk
  • Jon: I wish I had a friend I was that close to
  • Kara: why, Jonno? you got something to tell us?
  • Jon: No! I just wish I had a good friend...
  • Steph: Damian, you're such a terrible person, look at his little face
  • Damian: how is this about me, now? I thought we were talking about Drake and the clone!
  • Cass: we can talk about both
  • Jon: no, no, it's not Damian's fault--
  • Jason: that he's a little punk? yeah, it is
  • Damian: can we please go back to talking about Drake and the clone's mating habits?
  • Tim: JAY HOW DID YOU COME OUT AS BI?
  • Jason: walked up to the guy, made out with him, and said "hey, Roy, I'm bi" and he said, "That's funny, your pants were saying--"
  • Kara: OKAY JASON THERE ARE SMALL EARS HERE
  • Damian: Danvers is right, nobody wants to hear about you and Harper's disgusting habits
  • Steph: right, let's talk about CASS and Harper's disgusting habits!
  • Cass: Harper Row is the most beautiful girl to ever exist.
  • Steph, Tim, Kara, Dick: awwwwwwww
  • Duke: this doesn't mean you're off the hook, Timberly
  • Tim: suRE IT DOES!!!
  • Cass: no, I'm pretty sure we never learned where Kon learned CPR
  • Kon: Tim taught me, okay????????????????
  • Dick: I KNEW IT!!!
  • Steph: did you make out??
  • Kara: was it romantic??
  • Tim: NO!! We used a dummy, just like how we learned it with Batman!
  • Cass: oh
  • Donna: boring
  • Cassie: I expected more from you
  • Barbara: If it helps, I found footage of them on a rooftop last week....
  • Tim: NO NO NO
  • Kon: THAT NEVER HAPPENED
  • Steph: BABS MY HERO LET ME SEE
  • Tim: NOOOOOOOO
  • [everything descends into chaos]
  • Bruce: You asked why we never have family get-togethers, Clark. This. This is why.
  • Clark: I'll admit I wasn't, uh, expecting that. At all.
  • Diana, eating popcorn: I was!

anonymous asked:

Hey Gray! I love your blog :D I was wondering if you could do this request: RFA+Minor trio reacting to MC's and their own child being bullied in front of them (like maybe the bullies didn't see them RIGHT THERE) for being chubby but the daughter/son is like really chill and hits them with a 'I'm used to it it's ok' thank you :DD I'll request more now!! Good luck with your blog and excuse my english lolol

Hey now, you’re an all star I’m so sorry nobody is allowed to apologize for their English on this blog. You’re really good with it, so don’t worry at all! English is a bitch to learn, and if anyone judges you I will f i g h t. Also, no matter how many other blogs I’ve seen in the past, I still don’t know who makes up the minor trio. I’ve seen it mentioned a lot, and I always assumed it’s Jaehee, V, and Saeran. If it’s someone else, I’ll gladly write for them, too! (Dialogue of fat-shaming in Jaehee’s. Just a heads up!)


Yoosung:

  • He had to pick up your kid from school one day because he got off from work early
  • Yoosung drove there just a little too early when he saw your child getting harassed by three other kids
  • oh no
  • nonononono
  • Instead of just driving up, he parked that damn car and walked up
  • Just far enough so they thought he was a highschooler  even if hes older hes still small you can fight me on this
  • Once he was in earshot, his only thought was how dare they
  • The things they were saying were downright disgusting to him
  • Yoosung walked right up and tapped one of them on the shoulder
  • “Hey there buddy boy, I’m going to ask, no, tell you to kindly leave and never speak to my child again”
  • Your kid just kinda bip bopped along with him after he turned to leave after the kids had given half-hearted apologies
  • “Hey, Dad?” “What? Do you want ice cream? We can go. If you want to talk, we can do that, too” “I just wanted to say that you didn’t need to do that. What they said is pretty normal for me”
  • oh hell no
  • Yoosung just nodded slightly “But it doesn’t have to be” “It’s just like that, but can we still get ice cream?” “Yep! Just don’t tell, MC!” “Will you promise not to tell them about my school either? I don’t want them worried, since you seem to be”
  • So they went out to a small shop that wasn’t too far away from your home and talked about animals
  • Then once they got home, you could see him looking concerned at your child when the put their bag from school up
  • He went to his office and typed out an email
  • Turns out, he got the three kids suspended
  • PTA Dad Yoosung won’t stand for that shit
  • Didn’t tell MC because he promised

Zen:

  • You can’t tell me he’s not a PTA dad either
  • Sure, practice sometimes doesn’t allow him to go to every meeting
  • But you know he’s ready to fight Nancy at the bake sale because what were those brownies, Jesus, Nancy
  • aNYWAYS, you both had to go to one of those lame ass schools fairs
  • you couldn’t say no to your kid because those puppy eyes reminded you of Zen’s
  • You were waiting in line for food while Zen was buying tickets for things and you let your child go off with their friends
  • Then the yelling started dAMMIT, ZEN
  • “How dare you talk to my child like that?” “Well, um, sir-” “No, I’m not hearing it from you, young man” “I want to say-” “Not you either, young lady!”
  • Zen walked back with your kid in tow and he was fuming
  • “MC! Can we leave? There’s much better food at the restaurant we passed” “Only if you tell me what happened, because it looks like our daughter is perfectly fine” “No, she is nOT. They were making fun of her weight! How dare they insult our princess” “Zen, You sound like a script right now, calm down”
  • Your child just mumbled, “Well, that’s what happened during school anyways”
  • Turning around so quickly that you got bitch-slapped by his hair, he looked at your kid
  • He was n o t having this shit
  • “Who cares if you’ve got squish? There’s just more to love! Those kids are douchebags” “Zen-” “As long as you’re comfortable with you, there’s no issue. If you feel bad because of that snotbag, I will find out who his mom is and raise hell” “Zen-” “That one girl looked like her mom runs a drug cartel. I should know, too, because her mom is probably Bethany” “Hyun!”
  • He turned back towards you flashing a slightly awkward smile
  • “MC, that boy was a beast
  • “Not this again” Well, damn, if your kid is sick of it, he probably should be, too
  • You ended up leaving after your kid was done with his shit wanted to leave
  • He may or may not have raised a little hell on the board
  • Gave a two minute monologue on bullying at the monthly meeting

Jaehee: (Good end and after end spoilers)

  • Your son liked to hang around the café after school was done with a few friends
  • He came in one day with several people, a few being ones you recognized
  • You were taking orders and Jaehee was wiping down tables along with picking up dishes
  • cue dramatic plate falling when she overheard their conversation
  • “Maybe your clothes wouldn’t be so big if your  parents didn’t bake so much for you” “He’s right. All those pastries can’t be that great. Especially with how little you do in PE” “Maybe stop eating all of your lun-”
  • “Excuse me, but who are you, ma’am?” “Just a friend of this kid” “Get out of this café” “Who are you? Where’s the manager?”
  • “Mom, it’s fi-” “I’m Mrs. Kang, the owner of this establishment, and the disgusting comments you are making are towards my son. Leave
  • The girl turned bright red and moved to gather her things
  • Jaehee’s badass arm stopped her from properly getting up
  • “I thought it was heavily implied that you were to apologize”
  • She was downright glaring at this kid
  • You paused when nobody else was at the counter and turned your attention to what was going down
  • This look wasn’t even reserved for customers who threw orders at her
  • Once the girl left after having to repeat her apology several times, all the others followed, trying not to maintain eye contact with Jaehee
  • She slid in the booth across from your son and had a lengthy discussion about what was wrong for people to say
  • Jaehee had had enough in her life getting treated awfully, so your kid wasn’t allowed to have any of that
  • That night, you had to talk her out of fighting that kid
  • “Jaehee, that’s assault” “MC, it’s justice

Seven:

  • He was dicking around with the security system at your kid’s school
  • It’s not stalking if its not obsessive
  • The system’s visual aspect may not be strong, but the audio was pretty okay
  • Seven just wanted to hear what your child was doing after the bell had rung (I had to look up if it was rung or rang just now)
  • As soon as he heard what a person was saying that was most definitely not your child, he was ready to f i g h t
  • Your kid came back from school that day and went to greet him
  • He may or may not have turned around in an office chair dramactically
  • “So who’s Jun Ho? He sounds like a real biiiii-I mean, jerkwad” “How do you know who he is? He’s in one of my classes.” “Some teacher emailed me saying he was being rude to you. Making remarks on your appearance or something” “Oh, yeah, he does that a lot. It stopped bugging me awhile ago”
  • Red Alert: How About No?
  • “He shouldn’t be saying things like that in the first place. Why do you even talk to him?” “Jun Ho gives me food” “As much as I love food, you should never be degraded to get it” “But it’s soda, and I can’t take that to school” “You won’t get in trouble if no one finds out. That’s besides the point. Can you please drop that douuu-um, that trashcan? You don’t deserve to be told anything that’s negative about yourself that isn’t constructive”
  • Your kid just tried to assure him that It’s Fine, Dad but it most definitely Was Not
  • So then he went into every social media account he could find of Jun Ho’s and left some lovely messages and photos for the kid to find later

Jumin:

  • you know this motherfucker sent your kid to a private school
  • He didn’t realize that not every person would be magically nice to eachother
  • Just let him believe
  • Jumin was content with that for awhile until The Incident
  • Your son was walking back into your home as he was video chatting people at a party
  • For some reason, their conversation dropped off to what sports people were playing and some dumbass in the background made a rude remark to your kid
  • Jumin walked over and took the phone from your son’s hand and got the attention of the teenagers
  • holy shit, that was the dude that their parents made those important business deals with
  • that suit is probably worth more than all my organs
  • damn, he looks like he’s about ready to fail all of us in a class
  • Please refrain from ever contacting this phone ever again. Your words are unappreciated by myself”
  • Your son was desperately trying to mute him repeating that it was all okay
  • Jumin was still drilling these kids
  • “Furthermore, it is not any of your business to inquire about an individual’s health whatsoever. I will have you make good note that everything in this household is meticulously organized, so no, you’re not ‘concerned for his health’ or any other excuse that is as incompetent as yourselves. Have a good evening”
  • Sassy Jumin snapping that hang up button
  • Then he held out the phone to your son that took it nervously
  • “You’re never to speak to them again” “Dad, I-” “No, it is absolutely not fine. You will not be told that just because you’re not of the bare minimum weight, that you are any less of a human being. You are to be respected. If you are to speak to any of your classmates, please inform them that all business deals with their families will end soon.”
  • He most definitely called all of their parents that evening to tell them of these changes
  • Blocked every number he could
  • Also made sure that any future advertisements that were made by any department were to be inclusive of plus-size models

V:

  • There was a new museum and he was invited to attend it’s opening with his family
  • No way this Cotton Candy Man could say no when your daughter got excited at the mention of an artist she loved that was to have an exhibit showcased
  • Everyone had gotten dressed up for the occasion, including V in a snazzy I’m so sorry that I use that word suit, yourself in comfortable formal wear, and your daughter wearing a tighter blouse with a skirt
  • What she wore didn’t bug you or Jihyun, whatever made her the most loving to herself was fine by you
  • The three of you had walked in and were walking around to greet other guests and enjoy hors d'oeuvres
  • Your daughter walked off to admire the paintings until who you recognized as one of her fellow students walked up to her
  • There was no use in eavesdropping so you continued to walk as V walked into the room of the pieces
  • He honestly didn’t notice them until he could hear your child’s voice
  • Then he noticed what the other party was saying
  • Calm Dad walked over to them and apologized for his interruption in the conversation to tell off the student for what they were saying about your daughter’s outfit
  • “Hey, Dad, Mi Na wasn’t bothering me” “Then she was bothering me. Mi Na, please refrain from speaking negatively about my daughter’s appearance in the future. I assure you that whatever clothing she wishes to wear will not effect you”
  • You looked over to see the “Bitch, you ain’t shit” smile on his face and got interested to see what was going on
  • He explained to you the situation then spoke to your daughter again with a short lecture on Why She Was Perfect and Why People Suck
  • Got the girl kicked out from the museum afterwards
  • To make it up, even though “It was fINE, DAD,” V was able to get artwork from the artist your daughter was so excited to see

Saeran:

  • this one’s going to do with an ice cream parlor I’m sorry
  • He agreed to go on a family outing as long as the crowds weren’t too big
  • Hey, if you made it this far, don’t mess it up
  • To his favorite ice cream parlor first!
  • None of you cared if it was eleven am
  • It was always time for ice cream
  • While you three were waiting in line, your child noticed that the person scooping was the dickbag of an upperclassman that had been harassing them for a couple of weeks
  • Saeran noticed how they acted and offered to get a table with them so that it would fit into conversation easily
  • They nodded and went with them so that he could ask what happened
  • Your kid told him that the boy at the counter was giving him shit for his weight and that “It’s perfectly fine”
  • Then Saeran was p i s s e d
  • He assured them that they were perfectly fine as long as they liked themselves
  • Saeran then offered for them to go back in the line where you were ordering your food
  • Your child was slightly anxious as to what he’d do to the worker
  • He glared at that upperclassman so strongly that you thought he had killed Saeran’s joy in life
  • Considering how much Saeran loved his new family, he pretty much did, so the kid deserved to be scared for half a minute
  • He then smiled at you when you handed a cone to him and you sat down with the three of you eating happily
  • Saeran noticed the glances he was getting but didn’t mind them
  • He glared at the kid again for good measure when he held open the door

I’m sorry that this took me so long! Also, no offense if your name is Nancy or Bethany. They’re just my go to PTA Mom names. I’m going to try to get at least two requests up each day. I hope that this was to your satisfaction, but I’ll happily fix anything if you see fit. Much love to you all!

when they tip nicely
  • Cashier: I should've never taken this shift. Working this late is fucking me up.
  • Cook: You get used to it.
  • Cashier: Do y'all even get customers this late, or is it early? I can't even tell at this point.
  • Cook: Sometimes.
  • Cashier: What kind of person even eats fast food at this time of night?
  • Cook: Mostly travelers, junkies, and such.
  • Cashier: Makes sense.
  • Disheveled dude: *presses face against the restaurant window*
  • Cashier: Eugh!
  • Cook: What's the matter?
  • Cashier: There's some gross dude outside. Oh no, he's coming in.
  • Disheveled dude: *runs into the restaurant carrying a suitcase*
  • Cashier: Hello, can I help you?
  • Disheveled dude: Yeah, yeah, let me get a burger. Large drink. Yeah, that's it.
  • Cashier: This is a Mexican restaurant, sir. We don't have burgers.
  • Disheveled dude: Just get me anything with a lot of meat.
  • Cashier: We need a triple stuffed burrito!
  • Cook: Got ya!
  • Cashier: Okay, that'll be $7.99.
  • Disheveled dude: *slams a wad of cash on the counter*
  • Cashier: This is like... thousands of dollars!
  • Disheveled dude: Keep the change.
  • Cashier: I, uhm... are you sure?
  • Disheveled dude: I just want my food. Make it fast, please. Thank you.
  • Cashier: *stuffing cash into their pockets* Got ya, dude. Hey, make it quick! This guy wants his burrito!
  • *the cook quickly finishes the burrito*
  • Disheveled dude: *aggressively devours his food, sometimes nervously looking over his shoulder*
  • Cashier: He's like one of those professional eaters. That's impressive.
  • Cook: It's disgusting. That burrito has like 1500 calories.
  • Cashier: I'll call anyone who hands me three months worth of checks for a single burrito impressive.
  • Cook: Yeah, about that... could I get some of that cash.
  • Cashier: I mean, a bit. He told me to keep the change.
  • Cook: Technically it's the restaurants money, so you shouldn't be taking any of it.
  • Cashier: Yeah.
  • Cook: Plus, I cooked the burrito.
  • Cashier: Alright, how about $500?
  • Cook: Only $500? Come on, man. You've got at least $10,000 there. Let's split it.
  • Disheveled dude: *hops the counter*
  • Cashier: *backs away*
  • Cook: Whoa, dude, you can't be back here.
  • Disheveled dude: I need to leave through the back. You guys, closing soon?
  • Cook: I don't know what you're on, dude, but the back is for employee's only.
  • Disheveled dude: *opens suitcase and tosses wads of cash at the cashier and cook* Extra tip gives me VIP status.
  • Cook: Uhm... sure thing.
  • Disheveled dude: Anyway, I don't know if you guys are closing soon, but it's in your best interest for both of you to leave. I've probably given you enough money to relax for a year so it doesn't matter if you get fired. Just listen to me. Fucking leave and definitely do not look back. *runs out the back door*
  • Cashier: This is so much fucking money. Was that guy a drug dealer?
  • Cook: Probably, now that I think about it, yeah.
  • Cashier: Holy fuck! Is it safe for use to have this money.
  • Cook: I don't don't know.
  • Cashier: I could buy my own house with this, holy fuck! *stuff money down shirt* I don't know about you, but I'm out of here.
  • Cook: What!? You know we really can't leave with all this money, right?
  • Cashier: We can, and I am.
  • Cook: This could be drug money, or money from a bank heist. If we're caught with this stuff we could go to prison, or be killed.
  • Cashier: You didn't seem worried about it when you were hounding me for money just a few minutes ago.
  • Cook: That was then, and this is now. Nobody just gives money out like that unless there's something seriously wrong. It's dangerous for us to keep it.
  • Cashier: My life is going nowhere fast, man. I've got nothing to lose.
  • Cook: Well, I've got family at home. I'm calling the police.
  • Cashier: You do you, man. I'm out of here. *runs off*
  • Cook: *dials the 911, but gets a busy signal* What?
  • Cashier: *yells*
  • Cook: What's wrong!? *runs to the cashier*
  • Cashier: *sitting on the ground, money dropped everywhere* Look. Outside, there's nothing. Like, literally nothing. It's just an empty void.
  • Cook: I... it has to be some sort of trick of the light. I'm going out there.
  • Cashier: You shouldn't.
  • Cook: I bet it's nothing. I'll show you. I'll be right back. *disappears entirely into the void*
  • Cashier: Hey! Hey! Are you out there!?
  • *a pale hand appears out of the darkness and gently beckons for the cashier*
  • Cashier: *slams door shut* NOPE!
  • Cashier: *runs to the front counter*
  • Cashier: *is greeted by an all encompassing wall of blackness*
  • Wall: *encroaches on the cashier*
  • Cashier: *attempts to run away, but gray arms emerge from the darkness and wrap themselves around them*
  • Cook: *decapitated head rolls out of the wall of darkness, its eyes spinning in opposite directions* Told you that was bad money, dude.
  • Cashier: *screams as they're pulled into the darkness*
  • *elsewhere*
  • Driver: *parked on the side of the road smoking*
  • Disheveled guy: *taps on car window*
  • Driver: *slightly rolls down the window* Can I fucking help you?
  • Disheveled guy: I need a ride.
  • Driver: Let me think about that. Hmm, FUCK NO!
  • Disheveled guy: *points gun at driver* Then I'll drive myself. Get out.
  • Driver: *obeys orders* Alright, don't shoot.
  • Disheveled guy: *tosses wad of cash at driver* That should cover the cost of a new car. I suggest you catch a bus and get out of here as soon as possible. *speeds off*
  • Driver: *looks at the fraction of a fortune that was just tossed at him* This is way too much money for a bus.
Response to That "Decepticons Helping Humans in Rescue Bots" AU thing
  • Nurse Darby: Starscream... what do you have in your hands?
  • [Starscream shows what's behind his back]
  • Human: WAUAUUGHH!!!
  • Nurse Darby: Starscream! Where did you-- put him down! Down!!!
  • [Starscream starts to open his claws so the human drops to the floor]
  • Nurse Darby: Gently...!
  • Starscream: But he's squirming..!
  • Nurse Darby: You heard me!
  • Human: HUAAUUUGH!
  • Starscream: [cringe] I can hear HIM too.
  • [Starscream gently places human on ground, who scrambles away behind June]
  • Human: That... that HUGE freaky robot TRASHED my lawnmower!
  • Starscream: Yehk. Is that what you call it? Looked more like an abomination to me. Doesn't matter, it's scrap now.
  • Nurse Darby: Starscream! Why on Earth did you abduct this man and destroy his lawnmower?
  • Starscream: While I was making my rounds, I saw this human and his machine on a patch of grass. But upon my second pass, he was driving down the road! He couldn't have been going more than 5 miles per hour, however LOCAL speed signs that were CLEARLY posted indicated 25 miles per hour. He was obstructing the flow of traffic, and placing himself and OTHER humans in a potentially hazardous situation! It was so incredibly foolish I just KNEW I had to intervene.
  • Nurse Darby: ... Were you really driving a lawnmower on the road?
  • Human: W-well my next job was only like a mile away!
  • Nurse Darby: That's still a decent amount of time to clog up the road, sir. Normally, if a cop saw you, they would probably give you a ticket. Though I really wouldn't know. Here, let me see that scratch...
  • [Knock Out comes in]
  • Knock Out: Oh. It's YOU. The human in that slow-moving contraption.
  • Nurse Darby: So is this a typical thing for you, or what? I swear. Don't you have a truck you can put that thing in?
  • Human: Well its not like I'd need to any more, cuz HE totalled my mower!
  • Knock Out: Did you really?
  • [Starscream shows what's in his OTHER hand]
  • Knock Out: [whistles] Yeah, I can't fix that.
  • Nurse Darby: [sighs] Starscream, did you REALLY have to destroy it?
  • Starscream: [scoff] When HE didn't heed my warnings to get off the road, I knew I would have to use force--
  • Human: --I always wear ear protection when I mow!
  • Starscream: -- but then, THIS hunk of scrap exploded! Disgusting, green, organic mush rained down upon me, staining my paint, streaking my windows, squishing between even the tiniest of gears...
  • Knock Out: [scandalized gasp]
  • Starscream: It even smeared all over my landing gear... Oh, it'll take a WEEK to get the stuff out of my vents!
  • Knock Out: He's right you know. I'll pencil you in right before tomorrow's 2nd shift.
  • Human: What about my mower?!
  • Nurse Darby: I don't get paid enough for this...

“May I?” Lady Lunafreya asked. She held out her hand.

“Are you… offering to heal me?” Prompto asked, hesitant. Everyone was watching him. He shifted nervously and brushed a lock of hair out of his face. “I’m really grateful but, uh. No thanks? I’m not hurt. But—but I appreciate the offer!” The last thing he wanted was for the Oracle—for Noctis’ friend, the person who had pushed him to meet Noct in the first place—to think him ungrateful.

But Lunafreya didn’t seem to hear. Her arm didn’t waver. “Please.”

Everyone was still watching. Noctis, with his head cocked to the side. Ignis, quietly observing. Gladio, arms crossed, making sure nobody got too close to the Oracle or the King. Prompto didn’t want to be the odd one out.

Lunafreya’s hand looked warm and inviting. So he took it.

Within seconds, Prompto was doubled over, something acidic and awful falling from his lips.

The sensation of throwing up had always been unpleasant.

This was awful.

Despite all that, Lunafreya clutched his hand. Her grip was surprisingly tight, even as Prompto bent over, his free hand on his knee in a last ditch effort to stay upright.

He heaved and heaved and heaved. All he saw was black.

And through it all, Lunafreya held on.

Keep reading

Wedding Bells

 Today was the day.

The day that she’d be getting married.The day that she’d walk down the aisle and make vows to her future husband.The day that she’d be legally binded to her partner - as husband and wife.

And Harry didn’t like that she was going to get married. Not at all. But he had a perfect reason (according to him) as to why he didn’t want the wedding to happen; he was still in love with her. 

The two of them had dated for several months and despite the fact that it’d been just about 2 years since the break up, the feelings Harry had towards her didn’t go away.Everyone thought he was over her,including his friends, and he should have been because it had been 2 years and they were friends now. 

Friends who acted like nothing happened between them.Like they hadn’t spent several months together.Like they never spend nights lying in bed with stolen kisses.Like he’d never touched her in the most intimate way.Like they never used to wake up with her in his shirt as he gazed at her adoringly….Like they were never in love.

It was hard enough for the love of his life to be with another man, but to be married was what tore Harry apart.That is why he couldn’t stand to watch the wedding ceremony take place.It would break his heart…Smash it into pieces as if it were glass. 

 He couldn’t watch her marry someone that wasn’t him.He really couldn’t. He tried fiddling with the envelope he was planning on giving her to distract himself; however that only made matters worse because all he could think about was their time together.So Harry stood up and abandoned his chair while clutching the envelope in his hand.

 “ ’M gonna go now mum.Just realised I have a meeting with Jeff online,” Harry uttered out,a tired sad smile placed on his face. He was so desperate to go home that he lied to his mother yet she never noticed the lie as she stood up to give him a small hug. “Don’t have too much fun,“ Anne spoke aloud with a smile on her face.He was working too hard.

He exited the chapel and had planned to leave straightaway but first things first, he needed to say ‘goodbye’ to the woman he loved and make an excuse as to why he was leaving.He couldn’t tell her the real reason….That is what the letter was for.

Harry walked towards her dressing room, the room in which she was supposed to be getting ready in.He stopped at the door and knelt down to drop the envelope that he had held in his hand from the moment that he had left his car. 

Standing back up, he steadied his hand before raising it into a fist.He hit the door once, staying silent as a voice spoke up from the inside of the room.”Can you please wait?I’ll just be a couple of minutes.” 

Harry didn’t wait any longer; it was officially time to leave.So as fast as he could run in a suit, he ran to his car.

Once reaching the vehicle,he placed his hands on it, breathing in and out.He opened the car door, igniting the engine as he placed the keys in its place and sat in his seat before shutting the door.Harry moved the handbrake , feet pressing against the pedal while he looked at the rear view mirror. He drove off as tears threatened to leave his eyes.He sniffled  to keep the tears at bay and bit the inside of his cheek but there was no way that he regret leaving.

The girl opened the door of her dressing room to find no-one there. Didn’t she just hear a knock?Maybe her wedding nerves were getting the best of her.She was about to shut the door when her eyes hit the floor where an envelope lay.

Grabbing it off the floor, she read the name…It was addressed to her. As she read the letter, she bit her lip, eyes reading each and every line.

-

Hi

I should have started this letter with a ‘dear,darling’ or another term of endearment but didn't because our friendship hasn't come that far; we’re just a couple of people hanging out in the same group.

I shouldn't be doing this, writing this letter but I have to because maybe then that burning feeling in my chest will go away. Maybe it won’t but I’ll feel better.

Remember when the both of us broke up a couple of years back?I was a bloody mess, crying my eyes out until my heart hurt and I fell asleep, just to start again the next day. I didn't do anything for days, just lied in bed wanting you back but I couldn't get you back,could I? Because I was the one that let you go.

You know as humans, we want others to be happy and I wanted the same for you.And as stupid as it may sound, that’s why I broke up with you.I loved you but you deserved better; you still do.

A week after we broke up, I flew to LA.I stayed there for a few months then came back for a bit before flying off again. Everyone thought I had work to do, that the writing for the album had to be done so I played along.Realistically I left because the weather was getting to me; it’s just so dreary and cold.I needed a bit of warmth.

Another reason why I left was so I could escape the places that reminded me of you. The coffee shop we used to drink in, the park we used to walk in.Everything.Especially our my bedroom.

I nearly did forget the way your nose scrunches when you’re disgusted by something.The way your eyes crinkle when you smile.The way we kissed, the way your body felt against mine; until I came to London ,December that year.

I remember everything so clearly.Nick wanted to hold a party.A party where the music is supposed to blur out the conversations. But that party was more like a get-together because all we did was joke around and drink some beer.It might have been due to the alcohol consumed but that night I felt relaxed; til you walked in.

When you walked in, I’m surprised that I didn’t stop breathing.You looked stunning,absolutely stunning.I should have been used to the fact that you’re naturally gorgeous  but it had been a year since we last saw each other.

You looked breathtaking,however that wasn’t the only reason I felt like losing my breath….You were with another man. Couldn’t believe that you moved on because I was pretty much still single.For a few seconds, I thought he was a friend of yours until he pressed a kiss on your cheek like I used to.He was your boyfriend, the guy you’re marrying today.

You stood at the door, smiling at everybody but then you did something unexpected.You started to walk towards me. I thought that maybe you were walking to someone else…There was no-one beside me. You kept walking so I stood up to greet you.

You uttered out a ‘hi’.All you got in response was a tight smile etched on my face before you turned away.His arm was around your waist,like mine used to be.And I think that’s when I knew, knew that even after a year without you, you still had my heart.

Like I once said; forever and always shall my love to you be.

All the love.

H

The soon to be bride, after reading the letter, dropped it to the floor.Tears were now pooled at her eyes.The letter had left her shaken;so shaken that she was now unsure of everything.

Unsure of if the letter was legitimate.Unsure if she was ready to get married to the man waiting outside for her.Unsure if he was really the man she wanted to spend her life time with,unsure if he was the right man for her.

She had to leave the wedding, just as Harry had done.She couldn’t marry her soon to be husband, not when she was so unsure of everything.The tears that were pooled in her eyes, were now trailing down her face.Her make up was smudged but did she care?No.

Because in the hidden depths of her heart, she knew that she still loved Harry.

Ed Sheeran sentence starters
  • "I saw a shooting star and thought of you."
  • "You were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love."
  • "If you wanna put this on me, that’s fine, I never blamed you for anything at all."
  • "The world looks better through your eyes."
  • "It's only been one night of love and maybe that is not enough."
  • "If I fall for you, would you fall too?"
  • "It's not a homeless life for me, it's just I'm home less than I'd like to be."
  • "I haven't slept for the past week, two hours ain't enough for me."
  • "I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke."
  • "You can stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now."
  • "Outside the day is up and calling, but I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep."
  • "Never been better since all the therapy."
  • "And you know, if I let you go, I'll still keep you safe."
  • "You are the one I fall asleep with but never wake up to."
  • "The worst things in life come free to us."
  • "I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed."
  • "What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all."
  • "I know I'll never hold you like I used to."
  • "I'll be drunk again to feel a little love."
  • "I know you'll never love me like you used to."
  • "I found your hair band on my bedroom floor, the only evidence that you've been here before."
  • "I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself."
  • "There's no chance that we'll work it out."
  • "I said that's fine, but you're the only one that knows I lied."
  • "Everybody said we'd be together forever."
  • "Everything's great and everything's sure, but you live in your halls and I live in a tour bus."
  • "Pain is only relevant if it still hurts."
  • "If I was gonna go somewhere, I'd be there by now."
  • "I should ink my skin with your name."
  • "I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles."
  • "You should never cut your hair 'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder."
  • "You will never know just how beautiful you are to me."
  • "Maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale, too."
  • "This is the start of something beautiful."
  • "And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm."
  • "I'm out of touch, I'm out of love."
  • "I think I love you better now."
  • "Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd."
  • "Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures."
  • "You need me, man, I don’t need you."
  • "Never be anything but a singer-songwriter, yeah."
  • "People think that I’m bound to blow up."
  • "I haven’t got a house, plus I live on a couch."
  • "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator."
  • "Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady."
  • "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."
  • "Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone."
  • "All I want is the taste that your lips allow."
  • "Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more."
  • "It's been a while but I still feel the same... maybe I should let you go."
  • "Another love that's gone to waste."
  • "If I kissed you, will your mouth read this truth?"
  • "Darling, how I miss you."
  • "You made me scream, but then I made you cry."
  • "Maybe you should learn to love her like the way you wanna be loved."
  • "I never told her that I liked the way she dances slightly out of time and pretends she knows the words to a song she's never heard."
  • "You’re not her, though I try to see you differently."
  • "I will try to find another one who suited me as well as her."
  • "We never even tried, we never even talked, we never even thought in the long run."
  • "Whenever it was painful, whenever I was away, I’d miss you."
  • "I didn't mean to break your heart."
  • "Everybody falls apart sometimes."
  • "I know you've found another one, but won't you just hold me tonight."
  • "They don't know we don't speak anymore."
  • "I will stop trying to fall in love again... it never works out anyway."
  • "But I am not anything like I was."
  • "I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night if that's alright."
  • "I shouldn't have fucked with your mind and your life too many times."
  • "I never meant to sleep around, I was just lonely."
  • "When I see my future, it is with you."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "If they find out, will it all go wrong?"
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends don't treat me like you do."
  • "Tell me that you turned down the man who asked for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me."
  • "I know, you're gonna be away a while, but I've got no plans at all to leave."
  • "Just promise me, you'll never leave again."
  • "Just promise me, you'll always be a friend."
  • "Everything changes, but we'll be strangers if we see this through."
  • "I've been sat with you for most of the night, ignoring everybody here."
  • "Don't you worry if I disappear."
  • "I'm not really looking for another mistake."
  • "I was never looking for a friend."
  • "Maybe you could swing by my room around ten, baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin."
  • "Baby, if you wanted me then you should've just said."
  • "Maybe we'll go together and just figure it out."
  • "Trust and respect is what we do this for."
  • "You didn't need to take him to bed that's all."
  • "I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course."
  • "It's not like we were both on tour, we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor."
  • "I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different."
  • "This is not the way you realize what you wanted."
  • "It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest."
  • "Getting high as two kites when we needed to breathe."
  • "I'd disappear, you'd call me selfish, I understand but I can't help it."
  • "So we can either deal with the pain and wait to get on a plane."
  • "You should go, 'cause I ain't ever coming home."
  • "I've been livin' on the road, but then again you should know."
  • "You won't ever be alone... wait for me to come home."
  • "Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."
  • "When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me."
  • "How'd I get so faded?"
  • "I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream."
  • "I've been looking for a lover, thought I'd find her in a bottle."
  • "I'll be feeling this tomorrow."
  • "You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that."
  • "We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much."
  • "You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us."
  • "All that you are is all that I'll ever need."
  • "Just don’t expect me back this evening."
  • "I love him from my skin to my bones but I don’t wanna live in his home."
  • "I was raised to keep quiet."
  • "I don't wanna hate you."
  • "I kind of knew you liked the dude from private school."
  • "I knew he had his eyes on you."
  • "He's not the right guy for you."
  • "Don't hate me 'cause I write the truth."
  • "I would never lie to you but it was never fine to lose you."
  • "I'm just disgusted with the skeletons you sleep with in your closet."
  • "Fact is you're mad at me because I backtrack so casually."
  • "You're practically my family, if we married then I'll guess you'd have to be."
  • "Tragically our love just lost the will to live, but would I kill to give it one more shot? I think not."
  • "I don't love you, baby, I don't need you... I don't want you anymore."
  • "I'm not cut out for life on the road 'cause I didn't know I'd miss you this much."
  • "I guess I'm not the man that you need."
  • "Ever since you went to uni, I've been sofa surfing with a rucksack full of less cash and I guess that could get bad."
  • "When I broke the industry, that's when I broke your heart."
  • "I was supposed to chart and celebrate, but good things are over fast."
  • "I tend to turn you off and switch on my professional features, then I turn the music off and all I'm left with is to pick up my personal pieces."
  • "Success is nothing if you have no one left to share it with."
  • "I know you have a day job, but mine is 24/7."
  • "I still love you and I need you by my side if I could."
  • "The irony is if my career and music didn't exist, in 6 years, you'd probably be my wife with a kid."
  • "I'll die from a thrill, go down in history as just a wasted talent."
  • "Eventually I'll be fine, I know that it was never meant to be."
  • "These things happen for a reason and you can't change shit."
  • "Take my apology, I'm sorry for the honesty, but I had to get this off my chest."
  • "I will be loving you 'til we're 70."
  • "People fall in love in mysterious ways."
  • "I fall in love with you every single day."
  • "For four years I never had a place to stay."
  • "At 16 years old, I moved out of my home."
  • "I tattooed the lyrics onto my arm."
  • "I'll hold ya and you'll think of him."
  • "I'll never trust you again, you can just be a friend."
  • "If we should die tonight, then we should all die together."

anonymous asked:

Hi can you write some hcs with the six of them in a high school au with all the ships if you cant its fine

k here we go

- kaz is definitely the shifty kid that everyone sort of avoids because they don’t want him to ruin their existence. but, of course, he is the person others come to whenever they need something which might not be 100% legal (or even 10% legal lmao)

- jesper is kaz’s mainstay and the two of them are forever getting into trouble.

- he is also notorious for sleeping around and it seems that nobody can resist him. no seriously, he once seduced the #nohomo dudebro quarterback at a party. 

- nina is taken out of her fancy private day-school because of her father’s new job and is shocked at what a mess her new high school in ketterdam is.

- within her first few days there kaz approaches her at lunch and sits himself down opposite her.

- round about the same time inej also switches to this school because she absolutely hated her old high school. 

- kaz “i am immune to anybody’s charms” brekker looks at her once and decides that she will become a part of his surprisingly successful business in dealing pot and blackmail-worthy gossip and never getting caught.

- our boy also keeps getting dress-coded for wearing his black leather gloves. but he’s just disgusted by all the dirt and the dirty people lmao

- apparently kaz is a gang member, but who even knows.

- the innocent exchange student matthias is SHOOK when he arrives in ketterdam high school and sees what he has just signed up for. 

- the second she sees him, nina makes a beeline for matthias. she asks him to homecoming and prom with 0 shame and he is SO turned on by it omg. (he’s used to being in charge and is a go-getter + he’s super masculine to look at and not the most approachable guy)

- wylan is the shy artsy type who was taken out of his ridiculously expensive private school because of bad exam results.

- jesper loves making wylan blush bc a.) he’s very very cute and b.) jesper just can’t help himself

- wylan’s bad exam results continue, but he is incredible at music and is in the marching band (sadly, people see it as another reason to make fun of him???) and jesper feels bad about embarrassing wylan by his flirting. so he talks to him and the two immediately click. 

- kaz aces every exam without ever studying, inej is impressed while poring over books for hours on end. she is definitely the studious type.

- she gets mad kaz for wanting to take her on indefinitely long roadtrips all the time because, unlike him, she doesn’t have a photographic memory

- kaz thinks school pride is nonsense, as is the fuss made over football. he still goes to every game to look down, despising everything (inej is a cheerleader so our boy can fool nobody about why exactly he goes to the games)

- they always walk around school in dramatic triangle formation with kaz at the tip

- nobody dares to tease wylan after kaz starts hanging around with him. honestly, being one of kaz’s crew is like a protective shield bc everybody fears him. (i don’t want to go into how many dark secrets he exposed and thereby ruined people’s lives)

- every single sports team is pushing matthias to join them and he’s like “please leave me alone”

The 2nd request from @kaguneko

18. Just take things one second at a time (canonverse)


“I still can’t believe…they’re gone,” Levi said. It was the middle of the night. He and Erwin had just finished a mountain of paperwork and were settling down for a drink of whiskey.

“It’s been over a year,” Levi said.

Erwin only nodded and said, “These things take time.”

“The next expedition…it’s in two days. Why do we care about this paperwork? Why do we care about anything? We could die…we could…Sometimes I can’t stand it, all the hours we spend out there. I don’t know how I get through. Without breaking.” He didn’t know why he was suddenly so open. Torn open. Maybe it was the whiskey. Maybe it was the way Erwin was looking at him: calmly, quietly, like he knew.

“Don’t count the hours,” Erwin said. “Just take things one second at a time. Sometimes seconds are all you can stand.”

Levi sighed. “That’s a lot. A lot of seconds.”

“But they end. And before you know it, it’s been all those hours. And you’re home. With me.”

Levi shook his head. “Unless one of us, or both, is in the belly of a titan.”

“We know how to survive.”

“And Farlan? Isabel? They didn’t? The thing I want least is to be titan vomit. They don’t even need to eat us. Just spit us back up. It’s disgusting. But that’s where we’re headed. Isn’t it?”

Erwin looked into his glass thoughtfully. “I think we’re headed toward freedom.”

“Pfft. You and your ideals. Is death freedom?”

“Of course,” Erwin said.

Levi balked. “You have a death wish?”

Erwin shrugged. “Sometimes…I want peace. Just like you, Levi. We’re not too different, you and I.”

“You’re so…strange, Erwin.”

Erwin chuckled. “I wonder…what does that make you?”

anonymous asked:

Does the core really view Anakin's pronouns as not for humans? I mean palp says so but we all know how much we should trust him! And also, how do you think obi wan found feel if he found out that Anakin is being misgendered? Is it "oh no" it a "I'm glad your not 'vain'" kind of reaction?

Out of all the things Obi-Wan was expecting to happen this night, he can safely say that ending up in the same club as Senator Amidala was not one of those things. Now, he would never want to say anything about the kind of place that a lady is or is not allowed at, of course, but he has to admit that he wouldn’t have expected to see a senator at a dive club that has blinding neon lights and questionable substances on its floor.

He knocks back his drink and sets about checking the floor for anyone that looks like they’re up to no good. With Padme here, he rather feels like something might be in danger of blowing up, but so far the only beings that look suspicious are the normal drug peddlers, not would be assassins. He also doesn’t spot Anakin, which is rather strange because surely the two would use such a place to flaunt their ill-advised affair.

(Not that Obi-Wan knows anything for certain about such a thing. He has his suspicions but surely Padme wouldn’t be so reckless as to – oh, who is he kidding, of course she would be. And the way the two of them orbit around each other whenever they’re in the same space is telling in and of itself, really. But, as far as anyone else is concerned, he knows nothing. The things he does for Anakin…)

The lights blaze technicolor and the music changes to a different, equally upbeat song. A droid deposits a fruity cocktail in front of him, taking away the empty shot glass, and when he looks up he sees a tall woman dancing with Padme. Her hands are low on Padme’s hips and Padme wraps her hand around the other woman’s neck, pulling her down into a kiss.

The glass in Obi-Wan’s hand shatters.

Keep reading

"Little Shop of Horrors" sentence starters
  • "Feed me."
  • "What a creepy thing to be happening."
  • "Why this whole thing strikes me as funny, I don't know..."
  • "There must be someone you can 86, real quiet-like."
  • "Here I come for you!"
  • "Don't tell me - you got a little tied up."
  • "I need blood, and s/he's got more than enough."
  • "[Name] is not a healthy girl/boy."
  • "If I can move and talk, who's to say I can't do anything I want?"
  • "I am flyin' now!"
  • "I think I need a root canal."
  • "Bear in mind, I'm not immortal!"
  • "It really is a rotten way to go!"
  • "What we have here is an ethical dilemma..."
  • "No thief would look in there, right?"
  • "The mask - it's stuck. I can't get it off!"
  • "It wouldn't be terrible at all. It would be a miracle."
  • "[Name], I don't think you understand..."
  • "I'll make it worth your while."
  • "If we fight it, we've still got a chance."
  • "Jesus Christ, I could asphyxiate in here."
  • "The guy sure looks like plant food to me."
  • "All I ever wanted was you and a sweet little house."
  • "Am I dreaming this?"
  • "[Name], that's thousands of dollars! Where is it?"
  • "It's the one gift I can give you."
  • "In a way, we'll always be together."
  • "Something is very wrong here."
  • "Can you hold, please?"
  • "Christ, what a frickin' scatterbrain!"
  • "Depression's just status quo."
  • "Relax. It'll be easier that way."
  • "I keep asking God what I'm for, and he tells me, 'Gee, I'm not sure.'"
  • "Just go with it, doll!"
  • "Well, get your ass in here!"
  • "I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!"
  • "It's your professionalism I respect."
  • "Oh, [name], you're the most wonderful person that ever lived."
  • "No shit, Sherlock!"
  • "I couldn't sleep."
  • "I liked you from the day I came to work here."
  • "All my life I've always been poor."
  • "[Name], sweetheart, what's been going on?"
  • "You're a monster - and so am I!"
  • "You mean you'd still like me, even if I wasn't famous?"
  • "What'd I ever do to you?"
  • "I need some water in the worst way."
  • "It's an antique. They don't make 'em like this anymore."
  • "You kids should be in school!"
  • "How do you intend to better yourself?"
  • "She deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him!"
  • "Daddy left early. Mama was poor."
  • "I'm feeling strangely happy now..."
  • "I tried to be on time, but..."
  • "[Name]'s first radio broadcast!"
  • "Are you dumb? Or hard of hearing?"
  • "It's what you did to her."
  • "I've done terrible things, [name], but not to you. Never to you."
  • "Come with me to the police and tell them that."
  • "You remember that total eclipse of the sun a week ago?"
  • "Get a move on, you little slut!"
  • "I don't like that guy, [name]."
  • "With the right advertising, this thing could be bigger than hula-hoops."
  • "It talks."
  • "Believe it, baby!"
  • "I'd meet a man and follow him blindly."
  • "You should hear the way he talks to [name]!"
  • "Don't die, [name]. I need you. Please, please, don't die..."
  • "I don't know. I have so many strong reservations me..."
  • "You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?"
  • "You watch your language!"
  • "What the hell's that? A gun?"
  • "Look out!"
  • "It's true. I did it."
  • "Lots of folks deserve to die!"
  • "That's disgusting."
  • "What am I supposed to do? Kill people?"
  • "I'll take it straight."
  • "Do we have a deal?"
  • "That's not a very nice thing to say!"
  • "Don't feed the plants."
Suddenly kissing them
  • Eren: He would blush furiously and hesitantly kiss back. He may think that the person's just mistaken or forced to do so because they may know about his little crush. Nonetheless, he would still enjoy the moment and stay quiet since it's something he's always been waiting for.
  • Armin: Thinking that the whole kiss might be a whole mistake or just a sick joke, he'd immediately pull away and stutter out his apologies. He'd also ask why was the person doing that, or who told them to play that kind of prank. When he finds out that the kiss was really intentional, he'd start smiling to himself while mentally celebrating.
  • Reiner: After the kiss, he wouldn't really say much, but he'd give out the smile that says "I knew you liked me all along". Of course, he's really nervous deep down but the happiness that he'd feel would outweigh it. He would also plan on giving a surprise kiss with the next chance he gets.
  • Bertholdt: The poor boy would get so nervous, that he might end up falling backwards from the shock, but he would still try to keep his lips together with the kisser's. When the whole mishap's over, he'll immediately get up and apologize like there was no tomorrow. He would then ask if there could be a take two with a mischievous grin.
  • Jean: He would be the cocky little shit he is and kiss back with a smirk. He might even try to go as far as making out with that person, just so that he could savor the moment. Once sated, he'd blush a little and grip the back of his neck as he goes on about how that was great of a kiss that was, along with a rushed but sincere confession.
  • Marco: He'll be very grateful towards the kisser, since he wouldn't be able to have the same confidence to do such, and it's been something he'd want to experience for a looong time now. He would also think that the kiss came too soon and feel bad that he didn't get to clarify his feelings first.
  • Connie: At first, he wouldn't believe that it's actually happening. Once it sinks in, however, he would be completely overjoyed but he'd still try to hide it. Before he can start his victory dance, he'd ask the kisser if there were legit feelings involved, and if there were, well, he'd be the happiest man on earth!
  • Levi: He wouldn't do anything at all, nor would he say something, which could turn the situation into a painfully awkward one. He would break the silence on how the kisser would need more practice, and he might even show the proper way to do it. He'd also tell the kisser to warn him next time.
  • Erwin: He'll have a small inkling that something like that would happen one way or another since he's able to feel the tension between him and the person who feels the same way, so he'd be a little prepared for it. He'd feel less manly for making the first move when he should've, but he'd make up for it with small kisses after the big smooch.
  • Mikasa: She'd think of the kiss as something insincere because it was so sudden, but then she would try and eventually find the sincerity of the action. She would panic a little, so the kisser may be a little concerned as to why she's not moving, however, she'd be assuring that it's okay and all... plus she'd mention that she needs more kissing practice.
  • Annie: It would be a big surprise for her to be suddenly shown affection, so she'd struggle a bit and try to push away, but she'd start to feel the love given through that gesture, so she'd oblige later on. She wouldn't bring up the topic after the whole thing, so it would leave the kisser wanting more.
  • Sasha: Yes, she would be just as shy as any other suddenly kissed girl would be, but she may react violently as well, since she might mistake the action for something with perverted intentions. Once she's done with all the slapping and scolding, she'll ask what's going on, and when the air's all cleared, she'll start giggling girlishly and will playfully slap the other's arm.
  • Christa: She would freeze with her eyes wide open and her cheeks redder than Rudolph's nose. She wouldn't have a clue on how to deal with situations like these, so she might be the first one to pull away; she really won't be disgusted, she'd just be very surprised and taken off-guard. However, she would really appreciate the gesture, and think about it from time to time.
  • Ymir: I think she wouldn't be able to take this lightly because she seems like the type who wouldn't want her personal space to be invaded out of the blue, so she might end up throwing a couple of punches. When her head's all cleared and she's calm, she'd apologize for suddenly jumping like that. She'd also suggest that giving away more hints would work next time.
  • Hanji: In her opinion, having someone give a surprise kiss would be something that only exists in the movies., so she would be super lovestruck and dazed once she gets a movie-like moment of her own. It would also tickle her to know that the person she's after is after her as well.
  • Petra: She doesn't wanna look too eager or anticipative, so she'd pull away and try to hide the blush that's slowly painting her cheeks, when in reality, she would want to keep on kissing the person and never let go. She really wouldn't be able to hide is her giddiness and giggles whenever she'd remember what had just happened, and she would try her luck in going for more.
How The Guys React To Their Sick S/O
  • <p> <b>Italy:</b> If Italy’s s/o gets sick, he will stay by their side 24/7. There is no way that he would leave unattended unless they asked him to go get a water or some medicine or some sort of food. Italy would make sure that his s/o’s pillow is fluffed and that they are tucked in and warm. Italy would plop down next to them and cuddle them. He wouldn’t want to get too close because he doesn’t want to get sick.<p/><b>Germany:</b> Germany would be so worried and stressed that his s/o is sick, that he wouldn’t remember what to do for different illnesses. His s/o would have to get him focused and his head out of the clouds so that Germany can take care of them. Once he calms down, he will check their temperature and then get rolling from there. Germany would go out and get all of the supplies he needs to make them feel better, and even call the doctor for a check up. Germany wouldn’t stay by their side all of the time, but he would check in on them a few times an hour to see how they’re doing.<p/><b>Japan:</b> On the outside, Japan would look calm and collected, but on the inside, he’s thinking of all of the possible ways his s/o could have gotten sick. Once he diagnoses his s/o’s illness, he would go and prepare a tea that would help soothe their dry and scratchy throat, and grab some other medicines in order to make them feel better. Once Japan knows that his s/o will be okay, then he will calm down and start understand that it’s just a cold.<p/><b>America:</b> “HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY PRECIOUS BABY??!?!” are America’s immediate thoughts when his s/o woke up and threw up all over the bathroom floor. America scooped them up, put them back in bed, and rushed out to CVS to get like every single fever medicine possible, and practically shove it down their throat because fever medicine SUUUCKS. So after forcing the gross syrups down their throat, America would hop into bed with them, and just cuddle. Thats it, just sit there and cuddle his s/o because he hates seeing his s/o sick and uncomfortable. He would get up once in a while to get them food and stuff, but thats about it. America would also cancel all of his plans that day to be with his s/o.<p/><b>England:</b> England scoffs when he hears that they are sick cause he doesn’t believe them. But when he sees them and they’re on the couch and they’re practically coughing up a lung, then he goes into action. England runs around his house, trying to find an old cure all spell book that he had in the 15th century. Once he finds it and goes back to them, they are passed out wrapped up in a blanket. England sighs and says too himself “I guess I have to wait until they get up to try the spell”<p/><b>France:</b> How is it possible for France’s s/o to get sick? Well France has no clue, and he’s trying to mask his freaking out with suave, but its failing epicly. When France asks how they're feeling, his voice is shaking. What's going through the France's mind at the moment is "oh my gosh, what if they get so sick they die. Ohhhh my gosh". Fortunately, they only have a stomach bug, so Francey Pants calms down a little bit. He would run and get them medicine for them to feel better and stay by their side all day.<p/><b>China:</b> When China's s/o was complaining about how their throat hurt soooo much and it felt puffy and scratchy, he didn't believe them. But a after hours of complaining, the stubborn old man decided to look down their throat. There were white ulcers in their throat, which was a common sign of streptococcus bacteria living in there. Instead of taking them to the doctor, China believed he had the perfect home remedy for strept throat. His s/o was a little iffy at first, but then gave in because China kept pestering them so much.<p/><b>Russia:</b> Russia came running to his s/o when they were groaning in pain. What could possibly be wrong with them? When the adorable Russian asked, all they did was groan some more and mumble something about their head was throbbing with pain. Russia hated seeing anyone close to him in pain, so he scooped them up in his arms and put them in bed. He closed the shades and the door and let them rest in bed. Russia was sure to remain quiet the rest of the day so his s/o got better.<p/><b>Denmark:</b> "Have some beer, your stomach will feel better if you drink some!" Was Denmark's response when his s/o told him their stomach hurt really bad. They smacked him on the head and walked away. A few moments later, his s/o was puking up their insides in the bathroom, and Denmark started to freak out. He cleaned them up, and put them in their bed. Denmark, quite literally, ran to a store to get all of the medicine possible to make them feel better. Den stayed with them 24/7, answering their beck and call.<p/><b>Norway:</b> When Norway saw his s/o curled up in blankets, sneezing with thousands of crumpled up tissues around them, he knew something was up. Norge went up to them, and start to gently pat them, and they groaned like they were in pain. He told them “I’ll be right back” and went upstairs to find his spell book. Once he found it, he practiced the spell a few times, then went back downstairs to them. Luckily, the spell didn’t backfire and get his s/o even more sick. Soon his s/o was back to their normal healthy selves.<p/><b>Sweden:</b> Sweden’s s/o is currently crawling on the floor trying to get to the bathroom so they can throw up there instead of the floor. When Sweden walks in, he kind of just stares at them for a while, unsure of what to do. After a few seconds of contemplating on what to do, he bends over and scoops them up and puts them in the bathroom. Sweden stays there with them as they vomited into the toilet, no matter how disgusting it was. He cleaned them up, and tucked them into bed.<p/><b>Finland:</b> Once Finland found out that his s/o was sick and coughing every second, he started to freak out. Just a little though, because he had to stay positive for his s/o so they got better! He sat them up on the bed, so that they stopped coughing, made them lots and lots of soup, gave them their inhaler, and gave them some medicine the get rid of the mucus in their body. Finland was around them a lot, making sure they were okay and had everything they needed.<p/><b> Iceland:</b> "Hm" would be Iceland's response to his s/o getting sick, then walk away. His s/o would then throw something at him to get his attention, and hoarsely call him a jerk. Iceland will sigh and then ask what's wrong. Once they complain to him, he'll nod and go get the medicine they need. When he comes back, they'll be passed out on their bed. Iceland couldn't help but smile.<p/></p>
Matty Healy [one shot 1]

He smelled like cigarettes and his favourite cologne. Although he hadn’t smoked for hours, the scent of smoke was still present. It always was, and I liked it like that. His smell reminded me of those evenings on my balcony, just the two of us smoking and staring at the stars. I’d love to do that again, but somehow it seems like he’s not into that anymore.

Of course he’s exhausted from being on tour for so long, but I feel like he’s not into doing things with me anymore apart from kissing and cuddling and making love. It’s weird to cook, clean and do the groceries while he’s out and about, fuck knows what he’s actually doing. I often think about the time when he wasn’t as busy as he now is, the time when we used to walk in the park and drink tasteless black coffee in crappy coffee shops for hours. It’d be us against the world, but now he sleeps until noon and leaves after only a bowl of cereals.

I sat up, letting go of his arm which had laid around my waist all night long. My body shivered as my feet touched the cold wooden floor. I got up and got out of my slip dress, searching for a pair of jeans and a sweater. I put on a black tee, which I guess was Matty’s, and slid into a pair of black jeans. I didn’t even bother to check my hair and make up, because my make up should be in the place it was last night and I simply didn’t care about my hair.

The sound of a moving Matty startled me a bit, I hope I didn’t wake him up. I turned around to look at him, just to make sure he was asleep. But he wasn’t, his sleepy stared at me and I stared back. He checked me out from head to toe which made me feel uncomfortable, it’s weird because it doesn’t necessarily makes me feel insecure, I just don’t like the way he looks at me when he checks me out.

‘Good morning babe,’ he said with his raspy voice.

'Morning,’ I sighed. 'I was just going for a smoke outside, if you don’t mind.’

'I’d love to accompany you, if you don’t mind.’ He’s such a babe.

'I don’t, but Matty, I can tell you’re hungover so maybe you should get some more sleep. It’s only eight AM.’ I don’t want to be rude but he needs his sleep, he got so pissed last night. I bet he doesn’t remember that he puked a couple of hours ago, it was disgusting to be honest.

'No, I’m alright, just having a slight headache. I’m sure some fresh air will do good, give me a minute.’ I watched him getting out of bed and searching for some clothes, he looked awfully wrecked.

I just stood there, awkwardly watching him, so I figured out I’d better go get him some Advils and a glass of water. The bedroom door led me straight to the living area of our small apartment. It was a complete mess : piles of clothes, coats and books were everywhere. Ashtrays full of cigarette butts were on the dining table as well as on the couch, and I could easily spot five empty bottles of wine in a quick glance. Fuck, when did this happen? The thought of cleaning this shit made me cringe already. But first, I really needed my smoke right now.

I quickly grabbed the last clean glass and filled it with water, Matty was now searching his boots in the living room.

'Babe, I got you some Advils.’

'Thanks love.’ I watched him get into his boots - they were under the couch - and walk over to me to take the pair of Advils and drink the water. He put his empty glass in the sink and leaned in to hug me.

'I’m so lucky to have you, Y/N,’ he whispered in my ear.

I leant back and looked him straight in the eyes.

'I love you, Matty. You should know that by now.’

We have been together for months now, and as strange as it may seem, I’ve never told him I loved him. Neither did he tell me, but I was okay with it because it has always been obvious to me that he cared. And that’s all I’d ever needed, but I really wanted a response from him now. Although I said to myself it didn’t bother because he cared anyways, it did bother. I wanted him to love me too, I was hoping that wasn’t too much to ask for.

But I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for, all he did was nod and give me a quick peck on my lips. I followed him while he got out of our hug and left the front door.

He didn’t bother to wait on me while I closed and locked the door and he simply got in the lift. I got really annoyed when I heard the lift doors close and I decided to take the stairs. Luckily, we only lived on the third floor so the few stairs wouldn’t exhaust me too much. When I made it to the hall I got even more upset because he’d already gone outside. I got my cigs out of my coat’s pocket and realised I’d lost my lighter. Whilst going outside I immediately spotted Matty, sitting on a bench at the park on the other side of the road. If it wasn’t for a light I wouldn’t even ran up to him, to be honest.

'Can you give me a light?’ I didn’t want to sit next to him so I just stood there.

He nodded an handed me his lighter, looking as uninterested in me as possible. Fucking jerk.

I quickly lit my cigarette and took a drag. I was one hundred percent done by now.

'You know what?’ I spat out while I threw his lighter on to his lap. 'Fuck you Matty, fuck you and all your fucking bullshit.’

I walked into the park, struggling to hold the tears back and violently taking long drags of my fag.

'Please, Y/N!’ I heard him calling my name but it only made things worse. Couldn’t he just leave me alone?

I felt his hand grab my shoulder while his other hand tried to get hold of my waist. At that point I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore and I started to hysterically sob. He now forced me into a tight embrace and let me sob on his shoulder. He tried to comfort me by whispering calming words in my ear and lightly stroking my back. When I’d calmed down a bit I was able to take the last drags of my cig and breathe again.

'Matty?’ I asked, my voice cracked but I didn’t care.

'I just want to hold you,’ he said whilst getting an ever tighter grip on my waist.

'I love you, Matty.’ It wasn’t my intention to say it, but I just did. As simply as it is, I just love him. It was the right thing to do, because I know that he’ll be okay with it. Matty means a lot to me, the way he always knows how to comfort me, the way he likes to have deep conversations, it has always felt right with him. And even without conformation I just know he feels the same, if he didn’t he would’ve have got out of whatever we’re doing right now a long time ago. Right?

'Y/N, I care so much about you. I care, for fucks sake. I fucking care about you.’ His hands cupped my face and he leant in for a kiss.

I leant back to look in his eyes.

'That’s all I’ll ever need.’

Gettlefish
  • Anontisemite: Whether or not you're willing to admit it, whether or not you even realize it, you are oppressed. I mean look at the ridiculous dress code, being forced to cover everything from toes to hair, just put on some pants already and don't wear long sleeves when it's too hot, it's not healthy! Being forced to be a housewife and bear children, you're living like it's 1950. You are supporting patriarchy and holding back feminism by adhering to a patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: I’m being oppressed by dressing how I want you guuuyyyzzzzz…. :( I don’t know how I stand it.
  • Also, literally nobody is making me get married? I’ll get married and have children because that’s what I want out of life, but those aren’t the only things I want, for crying down the sink! My ambitions won’t end the moment I get engaged, because I’m an actual human being, not a weird cause for you to champion without my say-so. Get lost, I’m not interested.
  • Anontisemite: Look honey, it's not your fault that you don't recognize your own oppression but you and other women like you need help. Religion is merely a farce created by men to control women. The feminist cause wants to help you, that's what we're here for. Of course you think you're husband will let you chase your ambitions once your married but that's not how religious marriage works. You'll be nothing but a trussed slave and that's a tragedy.
  • Gentileproblems: Can someone please tell Jacob he is oppressing me he still hasn’t messaged me back and I’m thinking this is to do with our horrible patriarchal religion.
  • Arothejew: Jacob! Young man, what do you have to say for yourself
  • Jacob-the-pianist: I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white, I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white
  • Anontisemite: Oh you poor girl. I hope one day you'll realizing how vile and silly the Jewish religion is because you need help. You could have such a full, happy life but instead you've confined yourself to misery and you don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: 1/10 trolling try harder next time
  • Anontisemite: I assure you I am not trolling, I want to help you and women like you. I have no problems with Jews but I do have a problem with Judaism and organized religions that inherently oppress women.
  • Gentileproblems: Kay sure… how about you help by listening to us, rather than fighting for us? I’m not feeling particularly oppressed, here. Are you?
  • Gentileproblems (general): did anon seriously think sending me anonymous messages telling me my entire culture was Wrong would make me want to convert? Oh, goyim…
  • Satirenon 1: breaking news an anti semitic anon has caused jews everywhere to decide to be atheists OH NO IT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE *all memory of anything relating to judaism in my life is suddenly gone and i am now a free un oppressed woman*
  • Gentileproblems: oh, teach me your ways, un-oppressed one! is there hope for one such as me, comfortable in her religion and proud of her people? or will i have to moulder in the cave of deluded yidden… only time will tell.
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, I don't want you to convert. I want you to be a secular, free independent woman who doesn't rely on a misogynistic culture of lies and rules designed to keep you oppressed. Surely deep down you realize organized religion is a farce created by men? It's so obvious. If you weren't tied to a backwards culture that didn't allow women education you'd be able to comprehend better. I'm so sorry, please learn to accept help when it's extended. That is what feminism is here for.
  • Gentileproblems: white feminism has reached its zenith
  • Anontisemite: I am not certainly not antisemitic, I do not hate Jews, I want to help their women. What I hate Judaism, Islam and any organized religion. They are forms of misogynistic, systematic oppression.
  • Gentileproblems: 'I'm not raaaaaacist, I just hate these two heavily racialised religions…'
  • Anontisemite: though i too was once proud of my religion and my people i have seen the light and become a truely liberated woman 100% of anti semitic feminists agree that it is the right course of action so let go of the misogynistic tethers of religion and truely free yourself from your harmful self oppression like i did
  • Gentileproblems: assimilate and let go of your culture i a random anon know far more about it than you do
  • Satirenon 1: HELP THE SECOND STAGE IS HAPPENING I FEEL MYSELF BECOMING KNOWLEDGEABLE I NOW UNDERSTAND MY WROOONGS OH THE LIGHT OF SEEING THE WORLD FREE FROM THE HORRIBLE LIES THAT RELIGION TOLD ME I NOW AM EDUCATEEED
  • Gentileproblems: at the third stage, you ascend to a higher plane of existence, like on the original Stargate show.
  • Commentanon 1: i hate judaism but im teeeechiiincally not anti semitic right? -actual quote from the anon
  • Gentileproblems: i know, like how do you even rationalise that what even
  • Anontisemite: I am not antisemitic, I am antireligion. All I want is to end the systematic oppression of women inherent to Judaism and Islam. It is my life's mission and one day I hope to save all of the women like you, women who trapped and hurting and don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: Did you know Judaism and Islam are the only perpetrators of misogyny ever? GREYFACE TELLS ALL!
  • Commentanon 2: oh g-d of course anon doesnt include christianity just islam and judaism yet somehow aren't anti semitic or islamaphobic right? anti religion yet only against the two religions with the most hate and violence directed towards them? totally just looking out for women right?
  • Gentileproblems: i know, right? noooo bias there, no siree….
  • Anontisemite: You can still be a Jew, you can eat bagels and gettlefish and all of that, but you should be able to wear regular clothes without having rocks thrown at you, have intercourse without needing to do it through a cloth with a hole, not be forced to live separately from other people once a month. It's barbaric. Help me help you. Help me help women like you. This is going to be my career, rescuing the downtrodden women of archaic religious cults.
  • Gentileproblems: Okay, this is actually genuinely offensive. Where on Earth did you learn about Judaism, Stormfront? For G-d’s sake, choose another career at the very least- nobody will want to be rescued by you.
  • Commentanon 3: These anons today are even more ludicrous than last week's neo-nazis. Seriously talk about being so "open-minded" that your brains fall out and your mind closes again behind them.
  • Gentileproblems: Tell me about it, I have a permanent look of disgust etched onto my face by now.
  • Commentanon 4: Don't let them bother you. That one is literally a xtian-atheist religious missionary. Just treat them like you would any other xtian missionary.
  • Gentileproblems: 'Nope, I don't want your holy book… I've already got one…. it's vintage…'
  • Commentanon 5: wtf anon and ur stiiiiill not anti semitic? i'm waiting for what exactly anons definition of anti semitism is or does it even exist since how can you oppress someone who wants to oppressed or whatever they are trying to say jewish women are doing
  • Gentileproblems: it’s a horrible, horrible journey of ‘not antisemitic i swear’ and i can’t get off
  • Satirenon 2: I want to be offended but all I can focus on now is gettlefish. Seriously. GETTLEFISH
  • Gentileproblems: It’s like kettle crisps mixed with gefilte fish, I assume.
  • Commentanon 6: anon is just jealous of the way i work this super cute skirt with my bright colorful tights and that my marriage will be more emotionally fulfilling because it's not about sex all the time (it's also been proven that because a husband and wife can't have each other sexually all the time they appreciate it more when they do)
  • Gentileproblems: Oh my gosh, talk frum fashion to me! And I’ve never heard of that second point- I shall Google at once!
  • Commentanon 7: is gettlefish like non kosher gefilte fish?
  • Gentileproblems: I think this is one of those things that ‘everyone knows’ about Jews except for Jews
  • Commentanon 7: oh like hanukkah trees? (always spelled that way because fuck the original hebrew spellings lets at 2 k's for the hell of it because goyim)
  • Gentileproblems: yep, that’s totally A Thing, because judaism is christianity in a funny hat.
  • Anontisemite: I don't know what Stormfront, I'm a New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist. As I've already explained to you I am not antisemitic or islamaphobic, I am anti-Judaism and anti-Islam. Goodness, I wish you were allowed an education where they teach you these things. I don't have a problem with the secular women and I want to help the poor souls who are 'religious' (rapped). It's the men I take issue with, for forcing girls with potential into little more than slaves.
  • Gentileproblems: Rapped? Did Tupac put you up to this or something? And good grief, that first sentence is the most white-goy line I have ever read.
  • Satirenon 3: help i think i actually got second hand white goy from that first sentence im dying
  • Gentileproblems: do you have a weird urge to get a backwards hebrew tattoo? we’ll find a cure, i swear
  • Satirenon 4: Before your anon I was living my life as a poor, oppressed woman, trapped by the men in my life forcing me to observe archaic rules. This, despite the fact I am a baalat teshuva who was inspired by women and doesn't actually have any men in my life. Not married and absent non-Jewish dad, but they're both oppressing me quite a lot. Thanks to the anon I've realized I can again be free. I will give up my meaningful and beautiful culture that I love. I shall eat gettlefish and run wild.
  • Gentileproblems: The sarky responses to my anons are the actual best thing. And seriously, someone needs to come up with a recipe for gettlefish, pronto.
  • Satirenon 5: for gettlefish you should first go to your local store and pick up a few things, gefilte fish, matzo ball mix, latke mix, bagels, lox, chopped liver and cream cheese (just to make sure it isn't kosher). Now go home, and get out a very large mixing bowl and put all of the ingredients into it and mix thoroughly. Place in a large casserole dish and bake until crispy and then eat because it is the single most jewish food in the world according to goyim, add some bacon if you really want to
  • Gentileproblems: That’s so disgusting I dare someone to make it
  • Satirenon 5: make it and send to the anon
  • Gentileproblems: Where do I send it? The Castle of Denial?
  • Commentanon 8: I literally can't stop laughing. They probably mean to write trapped but I prefer to think they put 'rapped' in parentheses because they want everything in that sentence to be rapped out loud as you read. Break it down now, rap about helping the poor souls.
  • Gentileproblems: lay me some tasty beats, jumblr. “I don’t like your people but I’m not racist, I swear…”
  • Satirenon 6: I think your anon is magic. I was a happily oppressed religious women but then I read everything she wrote and
  • suddenly the world is new, suddenly I am new. My curly hair became straight! My skirt disappeared and was replaced by skinny jeans! I don't know if I can handle all of this freedom yet though, not without a man to guide me. Change me back, oh powerful saviour anon! I'm not ready!
  • Gentileproblems: Please, we need you to be our white saviour! Oh, whatever shall we do?
  • Commentanon 9: What the actual fuck is a "New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist"? Is that a thing?
  • Gentileproblems: Apparently so… oy.
  • Satirenon 7: HELP! I chose to practice modesty by covering my hair on holy days and I think I've oppressed myself! Already men are making me little more than a slave although I have an education and so much potential. Damn my religious choices!
  • Gentileproblems: Gosh darn it straight to heck! Deciding for yourself how you want to be seen, how dare you! That’s for the New Age Christian Buddhist whateveritwas to do!
  • Anontisemite: I'm sorry to see that you and your friends have resorted to making fun of good intentions. You may not think you need my help but me and other feminists will continue fighting for you nonetheless. I promise that one day we will create a world where you can be free from the bonds of oppressive misogynist religious law and archaic cultural traditions. You are only using negativity to lash out because you fear change, as your religion has taught you. But change is good and it will free you.
  • Gentileproblems: ngl i laughed
  • Commentanon 10: I feel like calling you honey just makes the whole thing so patronizing like stop listening to that religion that tells you what to do, I'm going to tell you what to do instead.
  • Gentileproblems: i knooow! like they don’t even know me! it’s gross as heck frankly- but i’m glad my followers are finding it funny.
  • Satirenon 8: help though im a lesbian my religion is compelling me to marry a man and become his subservient wife saaavee meeeeee
  • Gentileproblems: Must…. resist….. anon’s interpretation…. of my religion!
  • Satirenon 9: Oh..oh my goodness, my magen david necklace was sooo tight and it was choking me but that anon magically broke it and now i can breathe thank g-d or wait am i not supposed to do that anymore
  • Gentileproblems: Thank Richard Dawkins, probably.
  • Satirenon 10: anon nooo even though my religion teaches to question our laws and to change with the times it is suddenly morphing into everything you say it iiisss
  • Gentileproblems: Anon is, in fact, Haruhi Suzumiya
  • Anontisemite: Laughing is only a defense mechanism but one day you will be grateful for our movement :). There is an ever growling movement of feminist women against organized religion like yours whose mission is to save women like you. We are very well educated about Judaism and your culture and we will help you to adjust to the modern world. Misogyny and systematic oppression of women through forced dress codes and throwing rocks won't happen to you, no one will hurt you. You don't have to fear change.
  • Gentileproblems: Seriously, who keeps spreading the idea that religious women can’t be feminists? This is frankly depressing, and why we need to educate goyim to free them from their horrible, misogynistic, blinkered ideologies :(
  • Commentanon 11: It's hard to be convincing when they're sending asks on Anon. Like that's the least personal thing you could do.
  • Gentileproblems: I know, eh? When it started, I was actually pretty sure they were that ‘women don’t need feminism’ blog from a couple of hours ago, but now I’m not so sure…
  • Satirenon 11: white feminist goy barbie, she talks! you pull her string and she spouts nonsense!! (idk if anon is actually a she but like you get my point)
  • Gentileproblems: I kind of hope so, actually, because think of how much more creepy and paternalistic it would be if anon was male.
  • Commentanon 12: As opposed to cultural Christian atheist Buddhism, which is entirely disorganized.
  • Gentileproblems: *sniggering* Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the Dalai Lama very much against converts to Buddhism?
  • Satirenon 12: I somehow seem to have put on a long skirt. Someone please send a secular white "feminist" to help me.
  • Gentileproblems: I keep thinking of that Monty Python skit, you know, with the peasant shouting ‘Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!’
  • Anontisemite: Honey, you're being silly! I already have an education because in out free feminist culture women are allowed to learn. You can do it too! And of course a religious women can't be a feminist, it's the exact opposite of feminist. Religion, especially Judaism and Islam, is the source of all misogyny in the world.
  • Gentileproblems: To be honest there are so many people mocking you in my inbox I thought this was a parody. I am still not quite sure. And.. so do I? Dad’s a university professor, and I got early admission to his uni- had my first class yesterday, actually- where I’m reading Sociology and History. Also, pretty sure a good definition of feminism is that women can do as they please, whatever that means to them.
  • Satirenon 13: It's all a lie! You've been taught lies your entire life! White goyishé feminists know more than you do about the tradition you were raised in again and again for the past 3326 years. Definitely.
  • Gentileproblems: No, what are you talking about, they skim-read a Rationalwiki article once! They’re totally qualified to tell me how to live my life!
  • Satirenon 14: I'm wearing a kippah and a mini skirt at the same time. I'm only have oppressed on my mothers side.
  • Gentileproblems: :D but oppression is passed down through the mother, donchaknow
  • Satirenon 11: yeah for all you know anon is a really creepy guy looking to harass jewish feminists and give feminists a bad name
  • Gentileproblems: yeah p much
  • Commentanon 13: thats religious misogyny at work, the only true feminist religion is spiritual christian influenced combined with a bastardized eastern """"spiritual"""" religion entirely divorced from from it's actual source and rules and replaced with new ageyness and a hint of racism :)
  • Gentileproblems: 'Hey, mum and dad! I'm rebelling against you by converting to a watered-down version of a religion I barely understand!'
  • Satirenon 15: *sighs* Now I have to go tell the three female Rabbis I know personally that none of them should have received an education, because a got on the intertextuality knows Judaism better than us
  • Gentileproblems: It’s such a drag being oppressed like this, no?
  • Commentanon 14: Wtf the fuck is "free feminist culture"? I'm laughing so hard. Also kinda offended that anon is equating education with knowledge. Like a lot of people can't afford college or have learning disabilities but they're their own people, fuck off.
  • Gentileproblems: anon is patronising as heck- go ask them, I don’t know.
  • Anontisemite: Yes, I see you and the many people mocking me on your blog but I really don't mind because I know that you don't know better. I'm not a man or looking to undermine feminism - why would you even think that? You're a bit paranoid aren't you? Feminism is about female freedom and my life is dedicated to helping women achieve that. Judaism inherently undermines female freedom and that is want to eradicate it and rescue women from it. It's not antisemitism.
  • Gentileproblems: Alongside Jews, there are atheists, Muslims, and Christians mocking you. Quit while you’re… well, I can’t actually say ‘ahead’, really.
  • Anontisemite: I don't mind the mockery. I have my cause my cause is you and your fellow oppressed females or Judaism. It doesn't matter if you think you don't need it, a feminist fights for the freedom of all women no matter what. You haven't been taught this but you are woman who has value. You deserve a life without men who shame you for existing and think you have no worth except that which comes forth from your womb.
  • Gentileproblems: but… you are the only one saying this… can you save me from *you*, please?
  • Satirenon 16: for $8000 a month i will stop oppressing myself anon
  • Gentileproblems: yes please anon pay my uni fees
  • Satirenon 17: I am a Jewish feminist am I causing global warming
  • Gentileproblems: I want to make a joke about Moses and rising sea levels here….
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, let feminism help you be truly free from the bonds of patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: we’ve been around a few thousand years, your patronising wheedling isn’t gonna stop that.
  • Commentanon 15: In all seriousness, what I find most fascinating about the anon is that for someone who claims to want to free me from those telling me what to do etc., she/he is telling me exactly what to do! For someone who claims to want everyone to be free, she/he is not allowing me the freedom to do what I want. In other words, hypocrites will be hypocrites.
  • Gentileproblems: Goyim gonna goy
  • Commentanon 16: Anon does know that Judaism is a matriarchal religion, correct? That women are revered and are incredibly valued by Jewish society?
  • Gentileproblems: what are you talking about religion is BAD forever
  • Commentanon 17: For all who are trying to say that she is not free while being Jewish is the worst thing you could say. Being free means she can choose what religion she follows. Also the Jewish faith is not oppressive I actually know a female cantor/rabbi who is amazing at what she does. You are being oppressive by telling her she can't be what she wants and saying that you are not being racist even though all your support is stereotypes and from the 1900's get with the time! Take this as a warning
  • Gentileproblems: Thanks so much, anon! I mean I’m opinionated as all heck, if I didn’t think i was being respected I’d leave, believe me.

anonymous asked:

This is a bit out of the blue but I recently found your blog and have been going through it because I love Zutara and I noticed that some people claim that Zuko pushed Katara to bloodbend in TSR. Which confuses because I thought Zuko didn't even know it existed. It was treated as such a secret thing and while it's been a while since I've seen that episode, Zuko's expression when Katara used it seemed like mix of surprise/upset to me. I just don't see why Zuko would know it was a thing until then

Zuko absolutely didn’t know it was a thing until he saw it. I’m a big fan of assessing body language… so let’s see his immediate reaction once he realizes what’s going on: 

Originally posted by avatarjuice-blog

He was blatantly surprised. It’s obvious. He goes from a defensive fighting stance to no stance at all. His body straightens up, his eyes leave the opponent, and all of his focus shifts to Katara. Then there’s the claim that he was either upset or driving her to do it, so here’s another indicator of what they were thinking: 

Look at their eyes. Look at them. 

Katara’s narrow while Zuko’s widen. Katara is the one who is angry and upset. Katara is the one with all the power in this situation. Zuko is literally just trying to process what is happening and when he realizes she is the cause, his expression only holds astonishment. He’s not upset with her and he’s not disgusted. His attention shifts again, immediately after that point, to the man on the ground, and Katara’s ability is never brought up again. Zuko doesn’t reprimand her or convince her to keep using it. 

So anyone who claims that he was pushing her to do it needs to get their head out of their ass, because how can you push someone to do something when you didn’t even know they could do it?

That’s like saying she pushed him to jump in front of lightning. 

Why, can't you just love me back? (TylerxReader)

Plot: Reader loves Tyler but Tyler can’t admit it.

Y/n and I have been dating for a couple months now and we were happy. It currently fall and we were at the cabin watching someone called Dan and Phil. I don’t know who they are but Y/n loves them. They were playing Sims.

 Y/n was so consumed by her phone that she didn’t notice me staring at her. She was wearing black sweatpants and a tight gray shirt that’s sleeves stopped midway down her arm. Her hair was up in a messy bun. She looked flawless. Yes, I liked when she dresses up but I prefer it when she doesn’t even have to try. A clean face without make-up. No fancy clothes and messy hair.

That was her, that was the real her. I don’t have anything against make up because if it makes you feel good about yourself I say go for it but do you really need it? Anyways, we were on vacation from tour so we wanted  to go camping and Y/n’s family owns a little log cabin down by the lake. so that’s where we went.

“Tyler, are you okay?” Y/n said confused but chuckled.

“Uhhh, Yea. Yea I’m fine. Just distracted.” I said with a smile.

“Okay, weirdo.” Y/n laughed. I just chuckled and shook my head turning my attention towards the window. The leaves decorated the path with their vibrant orange and yellow color. The roads were damp allowing the effect of beauty. It was lightly raining but not enough for one to notice until told.  

“Okay, that’s it for this video. Give this video a thumbs up and subscribe. Goodbye internet.”  I heard a British voice knowing it was Y/n video. 

“Okay, what do you want to do now?” Y/n asked. “Oh, How about truth or dare.” Y/n suggests.

“Um, Okay.” Laughing at Y/n childish ways.

“Okay, Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.” I said while wiggling my eyebrow.

“Okay, I dare you to kiss me.” Y/n chuckled. 

“Ugggh, can I pass?” Pretending to be disgusted. She looked at me with a playful mad face. I got up and bent down to kiss her and stayed like that for a minute or two. I cant help it. She pulled away but I wanted more so I pecked her lips one more time before going back to my original spot.

“Okay, Truth or Dare?” I asked.

“Dare.” She said confidently.

“Fine, I dare you to answer this…Do you prefer Me or Josh it the band?”

“Easy, Josh. Next Truth or dare. Truth okay. Do you love me?” Y/n asked with hope in her eyes. Touchy subject if I’m honest. 

“I…I….Ummm…..” I stuttered. I know I look like a freaken AssButt right now and that’s because I didn't want to admit it. Not yet. If I said it then I had to face reality and I don’t know if I could handle that. The reason I can't say it was because the last person I said it to cheated on me. It broke me. I wasn’t able to eat, sleep and I felt like I couldn’t breath for that matter. I was heartbroken. I didn’t want to go through that. Not again.

“Why? Why can’t you say it?” She asked with watering eyes. She knew exactly why.

“You know why..” I whispered.

“I’m not like her Tyler. I wont hurt you. I love you and willing to give anything but knowing its not the same for you is hard. Knowing you don’t love me back is really freaken hard.” She was full on crying by now. I felt bad of course.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Saying barely being able to hear me.

“Are you are you really sorry? Cause it doesn’t seem like it Tyler. I cant do this Tyler. I really can’t. Why cant you just love me back?” Tears were running down her face. 

She got up running towards the door coat in hand and I couldn’t stop her. I was sitting there not being able to move. Why? Why did I let the past ruin my future. It felt like I couldn’t breath at this point. All I wanted to do was scream for her to stay but nothing came out. Air was getting thicker and she was already in her car ready to drive away.

All because of the past.

(Thinking of doing A part 2??)

Originally posted by nobodycansee

The Maze Runner (2009 Novel) : Sentence Starters
  • "You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world!"
  • "If you ain’t scared… you ain’t human."
  • "Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?"
  • "I've been shucked and gone to heaven."
  • "I promised I'd save _______, take him/her home! I promised him/her!"
  • "It's kind of hard to ask a dead guy what (s)he did wrong."
  • "Just follow me and run like your life depends on it. Because it does."
  • "Maybe you should just press the button."
  • "You get lazy, you get sad."
  • "Plain and simple."
  • "_______ is good."
  • "It was you and me, _______."
  • "We did this to them. To us."
  • "Thats called hypocrisy."
  • "Holy crap, I’m scared."
  • "Such a display of death - how could it be considered a victory?"
  • "I just...feel like I need to save everyone. To redeem myself."
  • "Man, you are one butt-load of sunshine, let me tell you."
  • "That's just my way of saying I would've killed you if you'd died."
  • "Ah, my Knight in Shining Armor."
  • "What, you don't think I can fend for myself?"
  • "Tonight, they’d make their stand, once and for all."
  • "I didn't do anything wrong."
  • "Next time I promise I'll point at them and laugh."
  • "You’re disgusting when you eat."
  • "It’s like watching a starving pig eat his own klunk."
  • "Sometimes you don't look very hard for things you don't believe will or can happen."
  • "Quit voting me down before you even think about what I'm saying."
  • "Avoiding other people was his new goal in life."
  • "_______ wanted them dead, tortured, even."
  • "Love had been ripped from their lives."
  • "Maybe we were lovers."
  • "I’m Hansel, you’re Gretel."
  • "We can’t give up. Ever."
  • "You say that bloody word over and over in your shuck head."
  • "Order's the reason we put _______ out."
  • "Last thing we need is you screwin' that up."
  • "Great. We're all bloody inspired."
  • "You scared of that pip-squeak?"
  • "Am I . . . replacing someone?"
  • "I'm gonnna break your faces!"
  • "Be thankful for these walls."
  • "I've been shucked and gone to heaven."
  • "Are they changed because they want to go back to their old life, or is it because they're so depressed at realizing their old life was no better than what we have now?"
  • "Everything crushed in on me at once."
  • "I swear I"ll get you back home."
  • "I pretty much hated you the last couple days."
  • "You won't figure out anything if you give in to fear."
  • "Smartest thing you've said yet, _______."
  • "We hid the maps."
  • "If we're gonna die, let's do it freakin' fighting!"
  • "You're hurtin' more than helpin', ya know?"
  • "He knew he had a lot to learn—that was why he was asking questions."
  • "Being careful hasn’t gotten us squat."
  • "Never. Stop. Running"
  • "It called to him/her as much as hunger or thirst."
  • "Doesn’t sound like a bloody rescue code to me."
  • "Nice and comfy?"
  • "I was just trying to help."
  • "Welcome to the Glade."

Prompt: A supernatural au where Light visits his father’s grave and a spirit (L’s) follows him home. for danathelaugh

A spirit is distracting Light. It’s not breathing, it’s not walking, it doesn’t even play with the furniture. It’s just there…and its presence is loud as silence in a cathedral, heavy. In spite of Light’s efforts to chase it away, it seems determined to linger. It doesn’t even respect the witching hour, so it won’t fear the ofuda or any amulet either.

“The simple fact that you exist highlights how unjust this world is. The dead can’t stay dead. They feel unfulfilled, unavenged,” he tells it once, with averting eyes.

Air and time turn to ice around Light. The spirit is the culprit, but how do you arrest it? It’s too vague, ethereal, to be recognised. Its aura feels familiar; invasive like a sidelong look from someone you once wounded. A bad omen grips at Light’s throat. His collar is choking him, and he can’t answer properly when Matsuda asks him if they can take a break.

*

The spirit appeared after he visited his father’s grave for the second time. The first time was the burial. The second time was goodbye, his simple goodbye, devoid of apologies. He couldn’t even kneel before the marble with his father’s name etched on it.

What happened to Soichirô Yagami was most unfortunate. Sacrifices are supposed to be unfortunate. They’re not meant to happen. In Kira’s case, it only takes one ridiculous, insignificant misstep for his tower to crumble. It’s the foundations – they aren’t solid.  

Kira will have his castle soon, but now he’s living in a house of cards. It’s shameful. Ever the optimist, Light is able to make the feeling go away with warm words.

The spirit comes as a cold, cold reminder.

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