it's crap though

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shows i started watching in 2017 meme
1. the good place - “you’re a giant chunk of spinach in the teeth of the universe.”

Reach (12.20 tag)



THURSDAY, MAY 4th, 2017, 03:12 AM:

Heya! You’ve reached Max. If this is about business, leave a message. If it’s pleasure, though, leave a message and your number, huh, just in case?

                *BEEP*

“Hey, Max, uh. This is Sam. Are—are you okay? Shit, sorry. I know you’re not. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me or anyone right about now. I get that. Just… lemme know if you don’t want me calling. I won’t. I promise I won’t. I can’t even imagine what you’re dealing with now, but if you need to talk with someone, I’m here. I know a bit about—Jeez. It’s hard to talk about this stuff in a message. I’m pretty sure some of our stories have been circulated in the hunting community, so maybe you know some of the things that have happened. But like, I just wanted to say, demon deals sound appealing in the moment but they can be really shitty. That’s not to say I… not to say I’m sure I wouldn’t do one again if I had to. But, uh, about that! I know, since you’re in the life, you probably have a lot of things to think about right now, choices you could make, and none of them are good. And I just wanted to know that no matter what you want to do, let me know if I can help. I…I know what it’s li—I mean. Dean and I, we have… contacts. You have options, I guess. We—”

                  *BEEP* 


SATURDAY, MAY 6th, 2017, 6:41 PM:

Heya! You’ve reached Max. If this is about business, leave a message. If it’s pleasure, though, leave a message and your number, huh, just in case?

                *BEEP*

“Max, shit. I tried to give you a call earlier but I guess you weren’t there. Alicia answered. Said you were in the shower. I got the impression she doesn’t know anything, so I didn’t tell her, but as someone who has been brought back before, lemme tell you that it hurts worse if you have to figure it out yourself. If you need help talking to Alicia, let me know. And… Jesus, I watched Dean get dragged to Hell, and I know that maybe you didn’t make a deal or maybe you did, but we’ve learned a lot since then. We’ve broken contracts before. Maybe you have access to resources that’ll tell you how, but I don’t know….  If you need help there, we may be able to wrangle something. Just. You’ve got my number. Call me? Dean and I have been through this more times than we can count. Literally. An archangel put me in a timeloop for several months and made me—anyway. You’re not alone in this. You don’t have to be. I know it’s probably scary as hell right now, but if we can’t help, we can maybe put you in contact with someone who can. So. Uh, hope to hear from ya soon.”

                 *BEEP*


TUESDAY, MAY 9th, 2017, 11:15 AM:

"Uh, hey. Sam can’t talk right now ‘cause he’s waxing. Like everything. But leave a message and—” “—Dean! What are you doing with my phone? Dean, come on!”

                 *BEEP*

"Wow, uh. Really? Um. Sam, I got your messages. I guess you—I didn’t mean for you to figure out like that, but thanks for—… I’m gonna talk to Alicia real soon, but it’s hard, you know? I guess maybe you do. I don’t know. Me and Alicia, we try… uh, we try not to put much stock in the stories we hear. Look, I did what I had to do and I’m not going to apologize for it. I’ve got plenty of tricks up my sleeve and I figure I’ll be okay at least in the short term. You may have figured out from that first time we met that demons and such aren’t exactly our forte. I won’t say no to any tips you have on that. And as for Alicia… thanks for the offer, but I’ve got it. I owe it to her to tell her myself and tell her soon. She’s a great hunter. Maybe we can figure something out. I’ll get back to you. Just give me time. Please, just give me some time. And, uh, thank you.”

                 *BEEP*

So I’ve Started Played DnD Again...

Thanks to a friend inviting me to their DnD group, I get to Skype-roleplay a chaotic good half-elf sorcerer with a slight drinking problem and a propensity to hit on everyone. Here’s a few things that have happened so far:


Me, hungover and meeting the Tiefling monk in my party: “Well that has to be the second horniest guy I’ve seen this week.”
Him: “…okay that’s a reaction I haven’t gotten before.”


Me, out of character: “Now this vampire lord, would you describe him as attractive? On a scale of like, ‘Interview with a Vampire’ hot?”
DM: “Hmm….Not Brad Pitt hot but around Tom Cruise hot.”
Me, In-Character: “Oh crap, he’s hot.” 


Me, drinking from a flask: “Fuck you I am refined as fuck.”


Me: “I say, ‘Allow me, Sir’ and cast Mending on the guard’s broken helmet.
DM: “The guard can lift his visor easily now and says, ‘Wow, thanks! That sure is handy. You could give my wife a run for her money!’”
Me: “Hun, you have no idea.”
Party: *groans*


Me: “I cast levitate on the dire wolf.” *rolls*
DM: “The dire wolf, having failed his saving throw, wiggles his paws impotently in the air as he floats up to the ceiling, unable to attack anyone.”
Me: “Hang there for bit, pup, I’ll get back to you.”
Party: *groans*


DM: “The vampire lord chuckles haughtily and glides backwards, vanishing into the darkness.”
Me: “I cast middle finger at the darkness.”


Tiefling monk, regaining conscious: “What did I miss?”
Me, pointing to the ceiling: “We have a pet wolf now.”


Me, sitting in front of a burning house full of screaming vampires, drinking from a flask: “You guys said we were going to a winery.”

anonymous asked:

Now that I think of it: Even if Ryuji is an adorable cinnamon roll, I think he could become one hell of a ladykiller (or mankiller, or whatever's in between) if he really really tries to be. That and also trying to learn from Akira and Kidd.

…Yeah, I could see that.

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G E N E R A T I O N   K I L L   A U   |   T h e   M a r t i a n

         ↳ meet the crew

  • CDR. Nathaniel Fick; Fick graduated with honors from the US Naval Academy. He will be the youngest commander to lead a mission to Mars.
  • Brad Colbert; Colbert graduated high school at sixteen, and won NASA’s largest hackathon at seventeen before moving on to MIT for dual undergraduate degrees in math and computer science. 
  • Ray Person; Person applied to the NASA Astronaut Candidate Program and was selected for his outstanding academic accomplishments, dedication and service to community, and an exemplary record of professional achievements.
  • Walt Hasser; Hasser holds a master’s degree in both chemistry and astrophysics as well as a doctorate in chemistry from the California Institute of Technology. A noted scientist and experience astronaut, he will serve as the navigtor on the Hermes.
  • Antonio Espera; Espera earned a bachelor of science in astronautical engineering at the United States Air Force Academy. He now joins the Ares 3 crew as pilot after eleven decorated years of service in the United States Air Force.
  • DR. Timothy Bryan; Bryan graduated cum laude from the Yale School of Medicine. Since joining NASA, Timothy Bryan has made two trips to SpaceXStation and completed five spacewalks (EVAs.)
Scheduling my defense

When you re-read your own fanfic and you don’t understand how could you publish such a piece of trash. (ノಥ,_」ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻

Originally posted by leo-dicaprio-90s