it's cold outside but i gonna wear it forever

the signs as tom haverford quotes
  • aries: on a scale of 1 to chris brown, how pissed off is he?
  • taurus: I want to take that cheese and do terrible things to it
  • gemini: this morning i saw a youtube video with a dog riding a motorcycle. so my bar for stunning is set pretty high.
  • cancer: i'm gonna buy some sweatpants and a Nicholas sparks novel.
  • leo: Oh, what’s this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I’m walking on red carpet.
  • virgo: It's cold outside, and I can't wear mittens cause they're unflattering to my hands.
  • libra: love will fade away. but things? things are forever!
  • scorpio: I have no interest in art. Let me clarify: I have no interest in non-nude images.
  • sagittarius: I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there’s more room for me on the low road.
  • capricorn: Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.
  • aquarius: may i say for the record that is a dope pocket square?
  • pisces: one time my refrigerator stopped working and i didn't know what to do. i just moved!