it's been more than 24 hours since i blogged about them

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: What will happen next™

🌙: Greetings everyone~! I had mentioned when we released the end of Chapter 1 that there was gonna be an important announcement in regards to the future of Nextale, so here I am with that announcement. Now this will cover several things: The future of the comic, the inactive discord server, and the OC submissions from months and months ago.

For starters, I’ve personally been working on Nextale since June…and throughout the months, not only did my life take a turn and my priorities shift, but my motivation for this project has decreased significantly and I’ve personally grown to borderline hate the project. In the beginning, Nextale was a “for-fun” project….something that we weren’t gonna dedicate so much of our time to except if we wanted to, but while getting popular was amazing, it eventually tacked a lot of stress on myself and Nextale went from something that was supposed to be for-fun to a total responsibility that I didn’t sign up for entirely.

On top of that, the lack of motivation and growing hate for this project has put a strain on both of our lives, and at one point, our relationship entirely, but we didn’t want to take a break until Chapter 1 was done. It’s been a hell of a roller coaster ride, let’s just put it that way…

Now don’t be frightened, neither of us have any intention to cancel Nextale here, but after the intermission pages, I will be announcing a hiatus on the comic until we’re ready to pick it back up again. Fire, and occasionally myself, will be submitting for-fun pieces, like Nexswap or Outernex or whatever we want. Stuff like that.

Another thing is that even when we’re ready to go back to Nextale, we’re not gonna go all out like we did before. Reasoning for this is because our IRLs have taken turns, with Fire starting a new semester of college, and with me finishing an out-of-state move and focusing more on my own IRL. On top of that, Fire and I also want to focus on our own personal original projects, my priority project being @shisenota and his being DraGunMetal (which you can find on his actual blog, @firereddragon).

As for the format of the comic itself? We decided to ditch the cohesive story formula and do it in certain parts. After Chapter 2 (AKA the Origin Story) is completed, we will be able to do comics and stories of whatever part we want to do, so we don’t have to be chained down to do an entire story when this was ORIGINALLY supposed to be for-fun and only in certain parts. Some parts will remain in black and white, others will be in color.

That being said, in 24 hours, we’re shutting down our Discord server. It’s been inactive for quite some time and it was also quite stressful to run it when it was in its active days. Whether or not we want to recreate it again in the future depends on us, so please understand. It was quite fun when it lasted though, and I do thank you for coming in if you did.

Finally, and this one we’ve been kind of avoiding for a while because of possible backlash…the OC submissions.

I’ll be real with you guys: it was an on-the-spot decision because at the time, I thought it was cool. But after receiving SO MANY OF THEM, we’ve….regretted it to say the least. That was when we were just over 1000 followers, but if we opened them again when we have OVER 9000 followers, then….yyyeahhhh. So simply put, we’re cancelling OC submissions to save ourselves the trouble. I am VERY sorry to those who have worked hard to create their OCs and for those who never got the chance to submit one. There were some REALLY cool submissions, don’t get me wrong, but the decision was not well-thought out and it resulted in a lot of unneeded stress. You guys are still more than welcome to create your own characters in a Nextale fashion, but we won’t be putting background cameos in the comic. Please understand.

TL;DR: The comic will go on a hiatus, the story will only be done in certain parts instead of a cohesive story, we’re shutting down the Nextale Discord server in about 24 hours, and we’re cancelling OC submissions.

Other than that, thank you for sticking with us so far, and stay turned to see what happens NEXT.

anonymous asked:

Is it possible that Anwar and Bella are faking Lyme since they both treat themselves like shit?

Loooooong post. I haven’t talked about this before (literally search the word “lyme” through the blog and maybe two things pop up? And its only referencing not discussing) and I’m probably not talking about it further? I have done deeeeeep research into the Hadids, Bella, and Lyme as a whole for well over a year now. In, fact I really started looking into this right after I started my blog. It was definitely one of the first things I dove into and the first thing I ever heard about Bella and instantly thought was shady. 

My opinions are fully formed and not subject to change. Bella looking me in the eyes and telling me I’m wrong literally would never change 90% of what I have written below. 

I have never had any intention on sharing these feelings, hence why you’ve never heard me talk about fully before (I have made vague reference here and there, more so on the confessions blog). This was always something that I figured I wouldn’t bring up until mainstream media started discussing it and I had to. Regardless, I don’t care any more. I can say whatever I want here and this opinion of mine isn’t any less valid than the rest just because it’s fringe and more speculatory. I tried to back up everything I have to say and cover all my basis’ which is why it’s so long. 

I can’t stop you guys from sending in any asks/questions/counter arguments but unless you have something really out there, I’m not gonna answer. Sorry, not interested in this being a full-blown discussion.


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I was headed to work today, looked at the date, and realized today is the day, two years ago, that I full immersed myself in all that is CrissColfer and began to tip toe my way into this fandom. And what a crazy, fun, interesting, frustrating, sometimes sad trip it has been.  I think you all know, I consider myself, prior to finding this world, a naïve New Yorker. I was a fan of Glee, Klaine, and Chris and Darren for the entire duration of the show. But I never thought to look closer. It simply did not make sense to me that Hollywood would force an actor into the closet who was playing an openly gay character on TV.  

And so I accepted the narratives that were sold. Chris was dating a guy named Will that I really did not know much about aside from a few pictures and that Darren was very straight and had a girlfriend named Mia. While I was a fan of Glee and Klaine, I had no idea what fandom was. Sure, I was often reading the message boards on the Glee Forum, quick to read any spoilers as they pertained to our favorite couple. I will say, I would sometimes fall upon appreciation post of miarren and I could never really understand what there was to admire. Despite the fact that I believed it was real, and again, didn’t give it more than a passing glance, it always seemed off.  Something seemed wrong.  It started with a pic from Joey Richter’s Easter celebration at his parents.  There was a possessiveness to the photo that made me feel extremely uncomfortable and from that day forward, whenever a picture was posted of the PR duo, I really questioned the chemistry and the intimacy. But again, I didn’t look any further.

 Then on March 24, 2015, the infamous twitter hack occurred.  Being a curious person, when I read the tweet, I was instantly curious. After all, not too long before, it appeared that both Lea and Chris had been hacked and it led me to wonder what Darren had tweeted.  And upon googling I discovered what all the fuss was about:

Now my interest was piqued. Why would one bother to tweet, “twitter hacked trying to resolve” about something as innocent as a favorite. I cannot tell you how many times I have accidently touched that icon. It seemed silly and ridiculous and not worth the mention and so, I started to slowly explore.

 March is traditionally my busiest season at work.  For those who practice employment based immigration, this is our tax season or what I “lovingly” refer to as my version of March Madness.  Its long days, stressful, and at least 6 days a week. So I put my research aside until Sunday, March 29. A day where I was utterly exhausted and decided a lazy day of research was exactly what I needed. And well, I never turned back.

 I spent hours that day discovering this crazy world called tumblr. Reading master posts. Discovering the main CC blogs.  And by the end of the day, I had read enough and seen enough to know that all was not as it appears.  

 And I entered the world of fandom.  Something I was not prepared for and had no idea what it was all about. Sure, I have always been a fan. As a child it started with Duran Duran and moved to my complete obsession with all things INXS.  Since that it has taken many turns, sometimes more music, British actors, sports, theater, and of course Glee. But never did I experience anything like this. And so I started my own blog. With the sole intention of reblogging things that were interesting and following the people that seemed to have insightful and interesting things to say, with the intention of remaining quiet. Just observing.

 I have no idea how I started with that and ended up here, someone who is a pretty strong and vocal voice in this community. It happened gradually, starting with a post about the TLOS and the acknowledgments to where I stand today.  And it has been such an insane and crazy ride. And I wouldn’t change making the choice to be here.

Over the past two years, I have personally talked to so many of you. I have had the pleasure of meeting a few of you at events like Elsie and Broadway Con. I have even had the pleasure of traveling to LA and San Fran with some of you.  Just last night there was dinner and a little singing to celebrate the birthday of one of the very first people I ever spoke to in this fandom. I am so very grateful for all of you, whether  we agree or disagree.  Whether we talk a lot or on occasion. It has taught me a lot. And has often shaped my opinion.  

And of course, the reason we are all here- Chris and Darren.  Two men I have my complete admiration. I may not always agree with their actions, but I think considering what they have been handed, they have handled this burden incredibly and bravely.

I think you all know that I am one of those that firmly believes in CC. That they have been a couple for years and I have seen enough that I do not waiver in my beliefs. I think a large part of why I decided to write so much more is because I think it is so important that people learn about the reality of Hollywood.  And how the constraints that are placed on actors have a profound impact on their lives.  

I often field like I want to take them and shield them under my wing. And if I feel that way, I can only imagine how their families feel. I often wonder if Cerena cries at night and the nightmare that her son in particular has endured.  And it has touched me in a way I cannot explain. And that is why I continue to be here and support them regardless of whether I agree or disagree.

Anyway, I was just feeling a little nostalgic today and I felt the need to write it down.  Here’s to hoping that the journey ahead becomes smoother and a little less tortured and that these men start their journey towards the light.  As I have said, I have no idea what their plan is for the future or how long it will be until we ultimately get to the truth, if we ever completely get it, but I will continue to be a supportive voice through it all. And if I can convince one person to see the truth and start to support the real Darren and Chris than I will feel that I have accomplished something small.

 And if perchance my words ever reach them, I will smile knowing that perhaps my support meant something to them personally.

Infatuation (pt3)

Originally posted by qt-taehyungssi

“I flash my friends a pleading look, and they just stare at me with bewilderment, clearly questioning my actions as much as I was. I quickly plop myself down in the seat beside Taehyung, trying to ignore the curious looks I was getting from his teammates.

“Everyone, this is Y/n.” ”

Genre: Fluff | Angst
Members: Taehyung x Reader
Word count: 3196

Previous | Masterlist | Next

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anonymous asked:

Your gaston pregnancy imagine is amazing. I was wondering if you would be able to do like a follow up to the labor or something like that. Im not very good at requesting things. (I also don't know the rules of your blog so if your inbox is closed feel free to ignore this)

My inbox is open from now into the foreseeable future!! Don’t be shy to drop on by, honestly, this request is fantastic because I just so happen to have had requests that could be in a certain order- i.e. The last one was Reader telling Gaston that she’s pregnant, this one being Reader going into labor, and the next (which I will start on right after posting this) being a follow up to these two request! Unfortunately, all of them have been Anon, so I cannot thank you three (or one, if you’re a sneaky little devil who planned this) properly for these amazing asks- right around Mother’s Day too!

Word Count: Idk prolly around 1000

Tagged:  @animeacetheheart @gawston @withouthannah @ciaprincess@the-fic-files @molethemollie @hobbithorse19 @supernaturalimagines666 @hellonheels-x0-blog @blackxthexbeast@with-a-hint-of-pesto-aioli@amazingangelaaa @frozenhuntress67 @totallyjoshlertrash @theoncergames @bucky-with-the-metal-arm @sherlocks-timetraveling-assbutt @lunarinne @ronijdubb @definitely-nota-fangirl @mochiiswan @epicfallenismine (if you’d like to be tagged, feel free to comment or shoot us an ask and we’ll gladly add you to the list for future Gaston fics!) 

“Gaston,” you repeat for the uptenth time that evening, attempting to shake your husband’s shoulder. Your nine-month, ready-to-burst, pregnant stomach kept you on your side as you slept, so you weren’t really able to move too much. Having your 200lbs husband sleeping with his arm wrapped securely around your aforementioned giant stomach really didn’t help much.

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Differences  between the Anime and the Manga - Season 2 Outro

This’ll be my last post regarding s2 of the anime. I’m more of a manga fan, and I miss writing and discussing about the manga. I have so much stuff that I wanna write since I recently re-read the entire manga. But my weekends were always predetermined for the anime discussions so most of my manga analyses were delayed :(

I have been quite salty over the last episode, and that hasn’t changed. But overall I do think that s2 adapted the manga better than s1 did, even though that wasn’t hard considering how much s1 messed up in some parts.

I’ve already mentioned this in the intro, but I feel that it needs to be mentioned again:

Usually manga authors don’t get involved with the anime, because they don’t have enough time, especially if they don’t take breaks, like Isayama. For example, Oda (One piece mangaka) once said:

Now, while working, I only sleep two hours every two days. That’s not all at once, but divided up into 15 minutes at a time.

Akira Toriyama (Dragon Ball mangaka) once said:

There was a time where I slept only twenty minutes over the spawn of six days.

Granted, SnK is a monthly manga, so it’s not as difficult as the weekly one, but still, it’s not like Isayama has time to hang around with the anime team all the time. Recently Isayama did said on his blog how “racing to finish the chapter before the deadline, is like hell.”

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31 Days of Ouija Blogs: Day 10- The Spirit Realm

Today’s post is not for skeptics. If you don’t believe in life after death, then do not read this post. If you’re unsure or, like me, absolutely convinced there is life after death, then read on. Today we’re going to talk about the spirit realm.

Every religion or belief has at least one world beyond our own. Some have one, an afterlife. Some have two, a good afterlife and a bad afterlife. And some have more than we can ever know. What, and where, are these places?

I’ve had skeptics tell me they can’t believe in Heaven because, if it’s some place in the sky, how come we can’t see it? We have been to space, and there’s definitely no world high above ours where God resides. The answer is that, obviously, Heaven is not a physical place that we can see and visit while alive. It’s a realm.

Multiple realms exist for multiple things, again, based on your religion or belief. If realms are not a part of your belief, cool, but if you also believe in ghosts and spirits, then you believe in realms. We live in a realm, and you can call it the human realm, the living realm, reality, Earth, or whatever you want. Ghosts and spirits live in their realm, the spirit realm.

These realms are all tied to the Earth. They overlap, intertwine, and coexist with each other. That is why Heaven, a name for the highest possible realm, is not a physical place in the sky. It’s a part of our world. However, I do refer to that realm as the “highest”, because it’s the one that is furthest from the one we are on. The closest one, you could say, the one that just barely borders our own realm, is the spirit realm.

Since the realms overlap, some things in the realms can cross over into other realms. Since we are in the “lowest”, least powerful realm, we cannot enter other realms in our bodies. At least, unless you can enter a deep, deep meditation and do some astral traveling, but that is a) extremely difficult, and b) impossible for most people. However, spirits can cross from their realm into ours with no problem. The realms are so close that they can be in ours and see what we are doing. This doesn’t mean that there are always spirits spying on you. Think of it as if you have a clear view into your neighbor’s front window from your bedroom. You can be in total privacy and see what your neighbors are doing, but you’re not there 24/7 with your binoculars spying on them (at least, I hope not). Spirits in the realm in your area know who you are, what you like, what you fear, and so on, but they don’t watch you poop or anything like that.

The border between our realm and the spirit realm is typically called “the veil”, and is symbolized as the curtain you pass through when you die. Of course it’s not a physical, actual veil, but there is a boundary that keeps us from seeing the spirit realm all the time.

Like I said, the realms are tied to the Earth, and the Earth is an ever changing thing. As the Earth wobbles around the sun, everything on her surface changes a little bit. For half the day, the planet is dark, and then it switches. For half a year, one hemisphere is closer to the other, then switches. And then there’s the Moon, which has an effect not just on the tides, but on many different living things on the planet, including us. And as the Earth changes over its orbit of the Sun, so do the realms. As summer ends on one side of the world and switches to a colder season, the veil weakens. It gets to a point, known in many beliefs as Samhain or Halloween, where the veil is basically nonexistent, and the spirit realm and the human realm are one. Of course it’s not literally like that, but spirits will be in our world a lot more often than usual. It’s like how flies get in your home sometimes when you constantly open and close a door, then for like a hour you forget to shut it and your house is full of flies. Spirits will be around us at a higher percentage, and therefore will be more active.

This is why a lot of ancient traditions have a lot of ceremonies around this time that have to do with death or spirits in one way or another. Some cultures will honor their ancestors and recently deceased family and friends, as they’ll be around. Some do preparations to keep out as many spirits as possible from their homes. Some will dress up like spirits and walk around among them. Pretty much every culture does something with the dead at this time of year, so by all means, look up your ancient traditions and see what your ancestors did when the veil went thin. Someday in the far future, our descendants will be learning about our traditions: trick-or-treating and sexy costume parties.

If you believe in spirits, you believe in a spirit realm. That is where they “are” in a sense. Someday when we become ghosts and spirits we’ll be able to travel through that realm and see what it looks like, and see what the living realm looks like through the veil, and, depending on how strong your spirit is, travel into other realms as well. There’s definitely a fairy realm, where Earth bound creatures that are not human reside*, and of course whatever variation(s) of afterlife you believe in. Some beliefs have three realms (living, spirit, afterlife) and some have eight, and some have way more than eight. Whatever you’re comfortable in believing, go with that. But the spirit realm explains how spirits do their thing. I wrote a post comparing the spirit realm to the Upside Down from Stranger Things, which I thought was a perfect comparison (and an excellent show).

Tomorrow we’ll talk about what happens when spirits can get into our home and move stuff or mess around with us and our things, and become poltergeists.

*quick note about the fairy realm. We cannot enter the fairy realm, period, as it’s not for humans. Fairy folk can enter ours, and they can be extremely dangerous. Sure there are your kind fairies, but they probably wouldn’t bother you. There are fairies that harm, or can even kill. If you feel there is activity around you that is related to fairies, be very careful. If you feel you’ve found a spot where the veil to the fairy realm is weak, BE VERY CAREFUL. Just like the spirit realm, there’s a time when their world can overlap with ours, which is the exact opposite time of the year from Samhain called Beltane, when winter ends and spring begins, usually around the first of May. Again, fairies can kill you, be very careful.


Orchard Corset CS-426-Short Corset Review

Size: 20″
Material: Black Satin
Laces: Formerly OC’s White Paracord, currently straitlaceddame’s Maroon Satin Ribbon Laces
Modesty panel: Removed by me
Owned since: February 2015

Finally getting around to posting my review of this corset! This was the corset I needed for years, but I didn’t know it yet, and it also didn’t exist for such an affordable price until a few months ago!

The lovely ladies at Orchard Corset were so sweet to send me this model to try, since I had heard about the release of a shorter but equally curvy version of my beloved CS-426 Longline last summer, and I had been anxiously waiting ever since. Like, literally checking the Orchard Corset blog every day waiting for announcements about it. I was STOKED.

This is my 20″ black satin CS-426-Short. It retails for $69 USD on their website. It comes in size 16″-46″ and also comes in several other colors and fabrics - cotton, leather, and recently Orchard Corset introduced a version with HIP TIES which you better believe is next on my list! It has 24 flat and spiral steel bones. It is definitely one of my more heavy duty corsets, and it feels just as sturdy and only slightly lighter than my classic 426 longline.

It comes with a modesty panel, which can be easily removed with a seam ripper and some concentration - I always remove the modesty panels on my corsets for easier lacing up and easier stealthing (hiding under clothes).

Update: Until this past week, I had always preferred flat or paracord lacing in my corsets. I recently received several pairs of satin ribbon laces from Heidi of straitlaceddame (SLDCorsetry on Etsy) - she makes them in tons of gorgeous jewel-toned colors and custom lengths to suit your preference. I am OBSESSED. Orchard Corset was so kind to include a pair of white paracord laces when they shipped my corset, and while I love the durability of those, they are much thicker and bulkier and more difficult to hide under closing. I stealth this corset quite often (more on that later) so I’ve been LOVING ribbon laces, which are almost invisible under clothes.
Also, when you’re lacing yourself into this corset, neither the ribbon and paracord laces “backtrack” or unlace themselves as soon as you let go, which is awesome.
I also re-lace all my corsets using the Inverted Bunny Ears method to minimize the “venus fold” (back crack!) and make it easier to keep the lacing gap parallel, and lace down farther. You can find videos on how to do this all over Youtube.

This corset takes its sweet time seasoning and breaking in to one’s body, but it’s more than worth it. It’s important to note that there is a lot going on in the corset itself (lots of bones and layers of fabric), but if you’re patient and give it plenty of time, it will mold to your hips and ribs beautifully, and any flare you started out with will virtually disappear. For me, this took about a month of steady several-hours-per-day wear for it to fit perfectly.

I have a 13″ long torso. This corset is 10.5″ long in front, 11.75″ long in back, and 10.25“ long at the side. It has a 6″ waist-to-top rise and a 5.5″ waist to bottom length in the back, and a 5″ waist to top rise and 5.5″ waist to bottom length in the front. This makes it shorter at the bottom than the original 426 longline, but very similar in height at the top to the longline. This is EXACTLY what I need in a corset to be both flattering and comfortable on my body. I like a high back to mininize “back pudge” and I like the bottom of my corsets to just barely cover my stomach but still be short enough to comfortably sit, drive and move around in. This corset does all of that!

This corset has a “Level 3″ Extreme Curve. It provides a significant reduction and is ideal for curvy figures - if you aren’t curvy enough and/or are new to corsets, you may have some gapping at the hips and/or ribs. I am just barely wide enough in the hips to fill out this corset.
I find that the curve at the waist is a softer curve, closely resembling the original CS426 longline with a )( curve, while my CS-411 gives a sharper curve like > <. Because of this, I find the 426 corsets (short and long) more comfortable and easier to stealth in, as the curve is not so noticable under clothing. If you’re going for a nice flattering shape without telling the world, LOOK, I’M WEARING A CORSET! then this one is for you.

Due to the high back and sturdiness, I love this corset for periods of time when I’ll be doing lots of standing and walking, AND sitting (best of both worlds), and it’s LOVELY to sleep in once it’s thoroughly seasoned. It feels like a nice tight hug.

When this corset is closed, the ribs will be 6-7″ larger than the waist, and the hips will be about 11″ bigger than the waist. I am roughly 34-36″ in the hips lately and 29-30″ in the ribs, so I prefer to wear this 20″ corset with a 2″ gap.

I highly recommend this corset to those who can comfortably wear it, which is not everyone, unfortunately! This is a beautifuL corset for extra-curvy figures, as long as you have the hip ratio to fill it out. It is absolutely ideal for those who want the curve of the CS426 longline but aren’t long enough in the torso. It is also an excellent corset for posture support. This is my favorite corset to stealth in and I’m constantly looking for more outfits to wear with this corset on the outside! This is 100% my “Goldilocks” of all the Orchard Corset styles - not too long or short, and just the right amount of curve for my figure. I am a huge fan!

Disclaimer: The corset in this review was provided to me by the company. The ribbon laces from SLDCorsetry were purchased by me. I am not affiliated with, sponsored or paid by orchardcorset or SLDCorsetry for this review. All opinions are my own. 

anonymous asked:

do you like bella hadid?

I usually get questions asking if I like Gigi/Kendall/etc, asking why I don’t like them as models, and so on, and so I’m just going to use this message to explain why I “dislike” this new fad of nepotistic social media models.

Before I get into this “rant” if you will, I just want to explain that Victoria’s Secret is a brand, and when you’re in charge of such a prolific and giant brand, consumerism is your biggest word — a word that by its definition is “the protection or promotion of the interests of consumers” (thank you, Google) — and if your biggest word is that of appealing to your customers needs, it’s confusing as to why Victoria’s Secret aren’t acknowledging that when they hire models in what they see as a bid to boost their sales and the views of their annual fashion show, when in fact, hiring such models does the opposite (going back to last year when Victoria’s Secret did just that, which resulted in them having the lowest ratings of any televised fashion show that they’d done with a 2-3 million viewer drop from the previous year).

It’s not that difficult to monitor the type of consumers Victoria’s Secret has when you’re surrounded by blogs, Instagram accounts, Twitter accounts and fansites dedicated to the brand. All of these things run are by fans and customers alike that usually don’t see eye-to-eye with Victoria’s Secret and are constantly sighing with disappointment at the brand’s choice of supposedly “fan favourite” models. 

So it’s odd to see Victoria’s Secret make such choices when it comes to the fashion show, especially considering it does a lot more bad than good for the company.

Nonetheless, they still go ahead with it and continue to hire these models adorned with their family name rather than the talent that you would usually need to make it into the big leagues of modelling.

And that’s where I get slightly annoyed. There are models out there, living in filthy tiny apartments with 10 other girls, surviving off water and carrot sticks; not only because that’s all they can afford, but they are constantly told they are in desperate need to lose weight and fast, working 24/7 on shady photo shoots in order to make enough money to keep their lights on, being sent to casting after casting in the span of 2 hours only to be rejected from every single one because of their stressed caused acne and split ends, pushing themselves to the brink every day, purely because this is their dream. This is what they’ve been working for their whole life. They’ve been walking up and down imaginary catwalks, posing in front of mirrors and begging their parents for the latest copy of Vogue for their birthdays since they can remember. They want this so bad, and they work so hard for an opportunity to get what they’ve desired for so long. They’ve taken every class that they can, they’ve read every magazine on the stands, they came out of the womb smizing — they have skill.

If you’re unfamiliar with fashion or the industry amongst it; Victoria’s Secret is the pinnacle of it all. It’s the crème de la crème of modelling, and these hard working, talented, passion driven girls have done everything for the opportunity to work with this brand. And Victoria’s Secret knows that. They know they’re the best, they know they’re everything every model has ever worked for, they even say so themselves. And guess what? These models have got the callback. Every blister, every tear, everything was worth it for this moment.

But alas, these highly gifted and determined models can’t be hired for the show because there aren’t enough spots left — they’ve been given to some girls that clicked their fingers and were instantly Chanel models.

(This is why I mentioned how Victoria’s Secret is a company based on consumerism, because I know people will comment on how “Victoria’s Secret is run by smart business people who know that hiring these models will bring up ratings, and that’s what having a brand is all about”. Please refer back to my previous mention on how the 2015 ratings were the worst they’ve been provided with).

It would be nice if Victoria’s Secret could understand that there are models out there that their viewers actually want to see, models that have crawled over broken class to land a meeting with the executives of Victoria’s Secret, and that their viewers don’t want to see these models that the brand thinks they all want to see.

These nepotistic models aren’t qualified for Victoria’s Secret, they’re not models that fans want to see flooding the runway. People tune into fashion shows to see products being displayed in ways that will make someone want to purchase them, and to make someone want to purchase something that you’re wearing, it’s in your hands to sell it. When you become a model you become a retailer, your jobs becomes the duty to sell products to viewers, and you can’t sell products with a sub-par walk and lacklustre facial expression. People want to see models strut with confidence and expertise, they want to see models giving it their all as if to say “See this confidence and skill? You could have it too if you buy this dress!”. So when you hire models that are providing your show with, like I said, sub-par walks and lacklustre facial expressions then that’s all people are going to be focusing on, rather than whatever you’re advertising.

So, that is why I dislike this fad of socialite models working with Victoria’s Secret. 

However, I don’t dislike any of these models for the people that they are. I admire their charisma, charm, kindness, and personalities in general, as well as their beauty and potential. I just don’t think they’re ready for shows like Victoria’s Secret as of yet, as they still have a lot to learn and master in my (and many other peoples) eyes.

Also just to clarify, I’m not saying that I dislike when people use their family name or previous fame in order to land jobs, because trust me, I can’t deny that I wouldn’t do the same. I just dislike when they’re given everything on a silver platter instead of other models that have given their all when auditioning for certain jobs that they are no longer able to get.
If you’re going to become a model, do the right thing and take time out to learn the ropes of modelling, develop skill and acquire the perfect catwalk and facial expressions before jumping into these major jobs that you’re not yet qualified for.


We hit the road first thing in the morning on the hour and a half drive to Lucas County, Iowa.  This state has a reputation of being very flat (there is an old saying that you can’t lose your animals here because you can see clear across the state from your porch top), but it actually starts to get very hilly the further west you go.  The drive to Lucas County was a marriage of winding interstate and vast, soggy gravel roads.  

Russell was the first town we stopped in.  It was a quiet, quaint little town with a lot of old businesses turned into apartments.  The whole town seemed to have one local store left to do your shopping at (appropriately named “Last Chance Market”).  I didn’t come across a single person there, not in a car or otherwise, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’re waist-deep in an Iowan winter.  Still, the quiet was strangely comforting and equal parts ominous.  

One thing you don’t see very often in this state is an abandoned grain factory.  Most of them are immediately torn down and replaced with newer versions.  Very rarely does a farm-based business close up shop in this state.  Russell had this sitting about two blocks away from their main street district, though.  

The drive to Williamson was laden with these old farm homes pleasantly placed atop these small, frozen lakes.  This house, for instance, was sitting about twenty feet away from a creek that had four or five people ice-fishing atop it.

We weren’t in Williamson for ten seconds before getting pulled over by a state trooper.  Both Kat and I were instantly nervous that something was going to be out of order and we were going to be slapped with a heavy fine, and I do think that that’s the easiest way to ruin an otherwise good day.  

Turns out, there was a stop sign hiding behind some shrubbery that we just totally missed.  Insurance and registration was completely up to date, though, and we ended up having a very pleasant conversation with the officer.  He pointed out what places were worth going to and what places weren’t going to have anything of mention.  The stereotype about nice Iowans held up once again.  He let us go with a business card and no ticket.  Sweet score!

Chariton was the most populated town in the county, and it was quite a stark contrast to the placidity of the towns preceding it.  People were crowding the city square, laughing and carrying on.  We strategically stopped for lunch here and spent a little while wandering around the odd layout of this particular town.  It seemed like there was two separate pieces to Chariton.  One was a bustling little community, shining in the forefront like a good grade on a refrigerator. 

Just behind that, though, were the ruins of what life was like there in the early 20th century.  Yet another abandoned silo, old business districts lined up in harmony with the train tracks, and little department shops that seemed like they hadn’t been occupied in decades.

Lucas was a strange town.  First of all, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many porta-potties in one place before, and seemingly without any reason to exist there at all.  They were scattered all around the place with no rhyme or reason.  I tried to come up with some kind of reasoning for it, but I couldn’t.  All of them looked completely out-of-order, too.  There were no fewer than five lots of porta-potties nestled together all throughout the town.

Secondly, there were no thru-streets in Lucas.  To get from one street to the other, you had to drive all the way down one before you could connect to the other.  I don’t think I’ve ever been to a town like that before.  It was inconvenient, sure, but it was pretty interesting, too.

Norwood was a tiny one-street town with a couple homes, a church, and the same stray dog that seemed to follow us all throughout the county that day.  I know that sounds strange, and I concede that it is, but it seemed like I was hearing the exact same dog in the distance of every community we photographed.  It was this low, exasperated, asthmatic yowl that felt as if he was just trying to catch up with us to hang out.  It was an odd sound, and I kept hearing it.  

Our day ended in Derby, Iowa, a town that has the distinction of being the first total ghost town we’ve been to.  The relics of businesses that once existed were still there, but nothing but grass and asbestos occupied them.  There was graffiti dating back to the early 1980s still scribbled on the wall like a high-school bathroom.

I couldn’t get over this.  The ornate detail on the old businesses was inviting and warm, a strange juxtaposition with its current state.  I usually get so excited when I come across stuff like this, but I admit that Derby had me feeling a little sad.  You could see the heartbeat of this town still beating somehow.  The restaurant still had signs on the walls, likely sitting in there without purpose for thirty years or more now.

Our day ended with the loud sound of engines and a sun finally drowned under the wispy clouds of a January day.  The winding interstates eventually calmed back to the flat stereotypes I’m more accustomed to.  We’d finally lost the wheezing dog in the distance.  Back to the ominous quiet, it started to rain.

It’s been that way ever since.

My Bullet Journal: 2015 review


I’ve always been fond of notebooks and stationery. Also of to-do lists, but mostly because it involved using some sort of post-it note and a pretty pen.

Since early on in college I used an agenda to keep track of everything - first it was all uni-related, deadlines, etc. But then I started tracking down personal stuff. I always found it to be a very smart way to get things off my mind and be able to focus instead of, let’s say, use a small amount of my brain’s RAM to keep track of to-do’s.

Enter here: the world of bullet journaling. To be honest, I only discovered it until 2015, even though I had been sort of doing it since before, I just didn’t know it had a name and I didn’t have a system per se. That’s when I came to realize it was a very cool way to have everything together at the same place and try to make more sense of my everyday without procrastinating. I decided to go ahead and give it a try - after all, all the studyblr community was all about it - what could go wrong?

Phase 1: I kept using my Moleskine weekly planner as my main element, jotting down deadlines, tasks, and to-dos. I still think it is the best planner without the fuss.

I kept a separate passport notebook from MUJI which happen to perfectly fit in the back of the Moleskine, secured with the elastic. In this notebook I would keep post its or full pages with to-do’s, expenses tracking, etc.

Phase 2: Come mid 2015. Once the pages on the MUJI ran out, I decided to go full on board and have a one and only bullet journal, transfering all info left from the moleskine into my notebook. Since I am abit OCD, I used a temp notebook until the month ended, before commiting to using a new notebook. I can’t stand writing on a page of a new notebook without a purpose. Are you like that?

Phase 3: I did some research on tumblr, pinterest and instagram for my ideal setup. You can check my Pinterest board here for inspo.

I decided on including the following sections:

A - For general categories topics:
-my blog: ideas, topics, references, etc.
-wishlist/to buy
-books to read

I assigned a page for each, planning to use it with post-its so that I didn’t run out of space.

·year at a glance

This allows me to keep track of dates coming ahead and established deadlines.

C-daily stuff/to do
·week at a glance
·to do
·follow ups

Thi is the most flexible part. My week is full all the time, but some days are fuller than others - that’s where the magic of the bullet journal works. No two days are the same! Some of these categories followed the logic of the original Moleskine planner, It just allowed for a higher level of customization.

And now, aesthetics. I did get inspired layout wise on the hundreds of posts I consulted before setting up my layout, but the doodle and a million colors set up was a no-no for me. I wanted to have something creative that also spoke about me, that allowed me to clear my mind and inspire me - and those weren’t up my alley. If a colorful bullet journal works for you - great! go for it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a stationery addict, but when it comes to getting organized and getting my priorities straight, I found out that I was spending more time decorating rather than actually planning or getting things done. I decided to pursue simplicity, which after all is very difficult to achieve on its own, and just keep the basic tools needed  - I chose a slim pen (PILOT G-TEC-C4), a highlighter (all time favorite ZEBRA MIDLINER in gray) and a contrasting color (in which I went for the trendy GOLD pen, just because gray in the form of marble and gilded stuff seem to go along harmoniously).

Here is one of my blank pages - just add the category and have the flexibility to write on it or do it through post-its if you need more flexibility.

Just add as much or as little pages as you want for the categories that matter to YOU.

Here I can use it both as a goal tracker and as a month at a glance.

I do a calendar on the left page and keep track of deadlines and appointments. If I need additional info or notes I add them on the right side of the page.

I tried to do  an habits and self care track page. It didn’t go as good as planned, but I’ll consider trying again in 2016.

I tried doing an agenda-like setup, with a nice phrase to open up every week. Below each day I added an hour by hour tracker so I could mark times for specific appointments and assign timeframes for work. 

Some days I just needed the full page.

Others as you can see were pretty empty.

Sometimes I lost track and didn’t really track down things to do. Things went to hell.

Now I’m ready to set up my 2016 bullet journal, and after what I’ve learnt so far it will be my most usefu tool - like my cover says GET THINGS DONE!

My advice will be: just don’t obssess over it and be more smart about it

it’s a means to an end, 

and no matter how much you plan ahead, 

the day still has only 24 hours, 

so be mindful of your time and where you are spending it. 

I will come back soon with my 2016 set up, stay tuned! Let me know if you have any questions. 

The Peeta Show

Prompt: Expressions in Everlark, Iconic Movie Posters

A/N: This is the start of a potential multi-chapter fic loosely based on The Truman Show. Hope you enjoy and feel free to let me know if you’d like to read more!

Summary: It was the highest-rated, longest-running show in television history. It was also the symbol of the oppressive influence of corporate television executives like Coriolanus Snow, who would manipulate someone just for their profit and power.

So when she had the chance to infiltrate the set, to tell the star of the show that his whole life had been orchestrated for him, to help him escape – well, she just had to try.

Peeta Mellark had to know what was real, and not real.

Keep reading

How I Got My Agent

It’s been a while since I’ve written on the blog. Mainly because for the past couple of months things have been happening that are ridiculously exciting, and while I have wanted to stand on the roof and shout, I have instead held it inside and savored it. But before I talk about how I got one of the best agents in the literary world, let me back up a few steps.

Originally posted by onedimpleproductions

Since I was a kid, probably seven or eight years old, I dreamed of being an author. I was a voracious reader, particular historical fiction and fantasy, and some things don’t change, not even with the harsh reality of time and growing up. Like, “go to college and major in something useful, something that ensures job security when you get your diploma.” Well, that’s a story for another day (how I went from English, to Dietetics, back to English…) but what I’m trying to say is that the passion to write has dwelled in me since I was a girl. And thankfully, that little gem survived the chips of reality and adult responsibilities.

Originally posted by xe-stuff

And it’s kind of interesting. For years and years I desired to write something. For years I tried, and maybe got a few chapters into a story, but I just didn’t seem able to write and finish something that was worthy. And it wasn’t until I was working a full-time job and married (my plate is full, y’all) that I suddenly began writing again and finishing novels and revising my work and realizing that yes, I can do this. I burned the midnight oil, I wrote on lunch breaks, I woke up before dawn to sit down and get words on the page. It was exhausting and exhilarating.

Originally posted by aph-danmark

On January 7 of this year, I began writing IMPASSIONED. I finished it in mid to late February, thanks to the unexpected snow days (we shut everything down in the south when snow or ice threatens) and I finished my first draft watching the snow fall (because it actually really did snow this time) with a mug of hot cocoa wearing my pajamas with my dog curled up at my feet. I would move up north, just to relive moments like that one. Anyways…as I was revising my manuscript, I began to compile an agent list. Now, I had been through the dreaded querying process before with an earlier work that I have since discarded. I wrote a crappy query (I didn’t know any better, and queries are monstrous to write) and so obviously I received no requests from the ten agents I reached out to. But I learned a lot from that experience, and so this time I was better prepared to build, dissect and polish my query for IMPASSIONED. I stalked agents I was interested in (online, of course) and I came across Suzie Townsend thanks to the blog Literary Rambles.


Suzie is part of New Leaf Literary and Media, which is an agency that has blossomed over the past couple of years and has represented some incredible YA novels. Divergent, Shadow and Bone, Snow Like Ashes, Red Queen…I could go on and on. Anyways, Suzie has a great blog, so I began to sift through it. Thankfully, she had some example queries from authors she ended up signing as clients, breaking down what worked for her in the letters. This was extremely helpful as I began to draft my query letter to her. I also took advantage of Query Shark, another blog that I highly recommend for tough love critiques and painful advice (it certainly has bite) that will help you perfect your query while you cry and devour a carton of ice cream.   

Originally posted by saltedwound-haunted


By May, IMPASSIONED was on its seventh draft. I had a few beta readers who provided me with some great feedback and encouragement, enough to where I realized that the story which had poured from my mind onto paper might actually be worthy of publishing.


I had my top three agents selected and their queries prepared (Suzie was my number 1, BTW). I was going to email in small batches, in case my query still needing tweaking so I wouldn’t inadvertently blow my entire list of desired agents.


Originally posted by lapin-bunnies

*Important Rabbit Trail: If you want a good agent, you have to have an impressive query letter. You essentially have to catch that agent’s eye on the first sentence and by the last sentence have them wanting more, enough so that the agent asks you to send your full manuscript. No small task, but think about it this way. Agents receive hundreds of queries in a month. Some of them probably get hundreds in a week. Like, I cannot even fathom that. Their eyes glaze over when they go through them. So yours needs to be sharp, concise and tantalizing. Far, far easier said than done, I know. Trust me, I AGONIZED over my queries, and still felt as if they were nowhere near perfect. But I would take a gander to say that most queries are carelessly written, scattered, vague, too long, don’t address the agent by name, and do a poor job at building suspense. Queries are about as challenging and unforgiving as writing a full length novel. All of this to say, you can do it, because I did it. And there are plenty of great resources out there for you to rise above all the others! End of Rabbit Trail.*


I sent my top three queries for IMPASSIONED out in the middle of May. Let me tell you how gut wrenching that was. I sat and stared at my composed email for hours, too afraid to hit SEND. And then when I hit SEND, I felt like melting into a puddle and sliding off the chair. I was a hopeless tangle of anxiety and fear and hope.

Originally posted by coopersreactions


What was I thinking? Could this really happen to me?


You don’t know until you try.


Several days letter, I got an email from Suzie. It was Sunday morning; I was sitting at the table with my husband about to drink coffee when I read it. She asked me to send my full manuscript to her, and I promptly broke down crying. I knew how momentous this was. Suzie Townsend was requesting my FULL manuscript. Which I sent to her, as soon as possible, and then commenced with more nail biting.


I wouldn’t hear from her until August. It was a summer of waiting, and that was not a bad thing. I took all my worries and anxieties and channeled my energy into writing my next novel. I knew Suzie was busy and behind schedule, so I tried to keep my mind occupied with other projects and tried to resist checking my email 24-7. I drafted two more novels during this time, stories that I don’t believe I would have written had I not been in a season of waiting.


THEN…just when I was beginning to wonder what I would do if Suzie didn’t like my manuscript, I got an email. She asked me to send her a synopsis and tell her about my other projects and what did I envision for my career as a writer. I hadn’t written a synopsis (whoops! Probably should have had one of those handy…), so I scrambled to get her one. I felt like this was a good sign, but then again, I had no idea.


That Friday night, I was sitting on the couch about to work on another project when my husband (Ben) told me “you need to go to bed early.” Of course, my mind was worn out, but when I started to object, saying I had way too much to do, Ben told me that what I needed was to go to bed. So I did. AND I DID NOT CHECK MY EMAIL. Which was crazy, because I had been breathing my inbox for months. Alas, I still cannot believe it. But that meant when I woke up Saturday morning, I immediately checked my email. And saw an email from Suzie, which she sent the night before around 8. In which she told me how much she loved my book and how she would love to represent me.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs


I don’t think there are words that can appropriately describe the feelings that overcame me. I rolled out of bed, slid to the floor and wept. My dog, very concerned, climbed onto me and licked my face, and I had to reassure her that these were happy tears. You’re probably thinking, wow, this girl cries a lot. I don’t. But it kind of felt like I had climbed Mount Everest. Suzie was the agent I wanted the most, and Suzie offered to rep me without even talking to me on the phone. I could tell how much she loved IMPASSIONED, and to me, that meant the most.


We later talked on the phone for an hour. She told me all about how she got started as an agent, about New Leaf, and then what her plans would be for me and IMPASSIONED if I chose her. It was a great conversation, and she pretty much answered all my questions. I felt confident after hanging up with her, and she gave me many good things to ponder.  


I took a little over a week to think and pray about it, because I knew this was a huge decision, and even though I was pretty much decided, I wanted to make sure I didn’t rush into it. In the meantime, Suzie was going to Tahiti to elope (hooray!) but before she left, she sent me another email. I appreciated her touching base with me before she left the country, and once more I felt overwhelmingly blessed when she told me again how much she would love to work with me.


BUT WAIT. It gets even better.


I arrived home from work Friday and there was a package on my front porch. Lo and behold, Suzie had mailed me a package of New Leaf books—half which were ARCS and hadn’t been released to the public yet (SAY WHAAAAAT!)—along with a handwritten note. She thanked me for querying her and giving her the chance to read my work. I was so excited and amazed; I could have cried again. Instead, I went on a run with the dog, because I was bursting inside.

Originally posted by mavieserasibelle


A couple days later, I emailed Suzie to accept her representation.


And that is how I got one of the most amazing agents in the literary world.

Take me the way I am (Matt Murdock x Reader) (Request)

Gif Not Mine

Anonymous:  Could you do a Matt Murdock x reader and the reader is a thicker/chunkier girl with glasses? I am in love with your blog xxx

Word Count: 1709

Extra: Can i thank who ever made this gif. cuz hot damn. thank you person.

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Lazy Day (S.W)

|based on the request: ello :) can you please make a really cute and fluffy Sammy imagine?like a lazy day or something??thank you !love your blog!x💗|

|763 WORDS WOO ITS A SHORT ONE PEOPLE, I’m so bad with requests so just drop me a message and it’ll be done by Christmas lol (I’m completely serious) HAVE A GOOD NIGHT (it’s 10pm in England rn so night from me) YALL|

“YN!” Sam shouts, causing me to jump out of my daydream and swinging in my arm around to smack him for scaring me. “Ow! What the fuck was that for?!”

“For screaming in my fucking ear, you cow!”

“Fuck off, you hit me really fucking hard!”

“Because you screamed in my fucking ear!”

“I’m trying to fucking sleep, shut your fucking mouths you sons of bitches!”

I widen my eyes and pull the duvet up to just under my eyes, Nate’s probably only been in bed for like, 30 minutes, the time being 5 in the fucking morning.

We went to bed last night at 7. We went out for an ‘early dinner’ at 4, came back at 4:30 due to, circumstances, and fell asleep straight away.

I guess two and a half hours of pure sex really does tire you out. Well, obviously, but I’m surprised we managed to go out for that long. We only ever stopped so Sam could pee and I could get some water. It was great really.

“Sorry, bro!” Sam calls back in a laugh. He leans on his elbow, looking down at me with a big smile. “So…” He mumbles, raising his eyebrows at me. “Wanna go for round 16?”

I scoff loudly and roll my eyes so hard that they hurt. “Dude, no! I’m so sore I can’t even begin to explain.”

“You think you’re sore?” He laughs sourly, “I went through nearly two packs of condoms! I need to moisturise my dick!” He’s such a drama queen sometimes, he’d be such a good Big Brother contestant. “Wanna help with some natural moisturiser?”

That smirk will be the death of me. But it will also be the death of him.

“I’m not going bare, Sam, your pullout game is weaker than Donald Trump’s parents’.”

He tilts his head back and shakes his head at my comment. “Harsh.”

“Say that to more than 30 pregnancy tests.”

He’d probably freak out if I told him the actual number of pregnancy tests I’ve taken since we met. When we were 15. That was 8 years ago.


79 fucking pregnancy tests in 8 years. Thank god for multipacks. And late periods.

“Damn, more than 30?” He looks impressed with himself, but also shocked - imagine having 30 kids. Fuck 30, imagine having 79 kids.

“'You know how much money all those tests cost me?”

“More than my Yeezys?”

“You didn’t even pay for them, but yeah, roughly around the same price if you want an accurate result.”

“I’ll buy the next one-”

There won’t be another pregnancy test in my hand for at least 6 years. That’s one promise I can (try to) keep.

“The next pregnancy scare will be when we actually want to start a family-”

“Aw babe, you wanna have kids with me?”

“Only if you shut up and rub my back like a good boyfriend.”

I roll onto my stomach with my head facing my boyfriend. I pull the cover down to my tail bone and grab his hand, placing it right on top of the spot that needed a good run. “So demanding. So sexy.”

He starts to gently massage my back with his warm hands. “I’m not gunna give in.” Sam sighs and adds a little bit more pressure with his hands. He really does have magic hands. “We’re not fucking for a month, either.” I need time to recover from the past 24 hours. “Let’s not talk about this anymore, tell me about your trip to Jamaica next week, I wanna hear what you’re planning on doing.”

“For an entire month?! Are you fucking crazy?!”

“Dude, I changed the subject!” I pinch his bicep with a laugh - we both know I won’t be able to actually hold out for an entire month, but it’s a good threat for when he pisses me off. “Are you gunna meet Ky-Mani finally?”

We spent the rest of the day in bed, - well, until 3pm when we decided to get into onesies and go get McDonald’s, but then we came home and got back into bed - talking about things we saw around the town or online, watching Family Guy and How I Met Your Mother on Netflix and eating anything we could find, which was barely anything because guys who both have busy lives travelling around don’t bother to stock up their cupboards. It was a good day. Lazy days with your partner is the best thing ever, hands down.

Even when the entire time is spent turning down requests for a “round 16”.


It’s INVISIBLE ILLNESS AWARENESS WEEK! So here are some facts about mine.

It’s a bit long, but it would mean a lot to me if you read it. I think it’s really important to have an idea of what being sick/disabled can look like. There are so many misconceptions about what the life of a person like me is like, or even that we exist at all, so while this is just one perspective I hope it helps expand your idea of what is possible under those labels. I know I had a very narrow and totally wrong view myself before I got sick. So yeah please read, for me and others you know<3

PS: if this is too long, the 1 piece of advice I would give is just BELIEVE what people tell you, don’t think you can determine whether medical info they give makes sense or if they are faking/over exaggerating. Know you probably can’t tell someone’s medical status just by looking or watching them - people are complicated, symptoms vary, a disease is weird and can effect people in unexpected ways

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is: Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS—a genetic connective tissue disease), post concussion syndrome, and several secondary conditions to EDS, including dysautonomia/POTS, cervical instability, and (suspected) mast cell activation syndrome

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Misdiagnosed with fibro in 2011, the rest came in 2013-14

3. But I had symptoms since: I started having minor joint issues in 2005, but major problems started in 2010-11

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Oh wow. I had to come up with an entirely different identity and concept for what a good life could look like. I love my life now, and I’m really happy, but it took a while to get there. I used to be an incredibly ambitious person, who was used to performing at a really high level and being busy 24/7. I’ve needed to slow it down & reevaluate what’s really important in life. I think I would have been horrified if you’d told me 10 years ago I would have dropped out of college, but I’m actually totally I’m at peace with where I am. I’ve done a lot of cool things since I’ve been home

5. Most people assume: that my life is tragic …. that one is hard to respond to. They seem so sad when they find out the details, but honestly in a big picture way life is good

6. The hardest part about mornings is: I often feel really sick in the morning because of dysautonomia. So I’ll be faint, nauseous, dizzy … just not at my best!

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Mystery diagnosis! Which I mostly watched while I was still, indeed, a mystery

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My phone/laptop. Because I’m home a lot they are really my lifeline to the world

9. The hardest part about nights is: Probably needing to sleep in a neck brace, especially now that its giving my jaw issues. But it’s so much better than NOT sleeping in a neck brace is for me at this point, so I’ll take it:p

10. Each day I take: I take 14 prescription and over the counter medications, and about 10 more supplements. Almost all of them are considered minor, safe medications (like 5 are for allergies), but still that number adds up!

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: Wish I had time/money for more of them. Massage, acupuncture, and float therapy have all been helpful for pain management

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: I think invisible is easier in many ways ….although I sometimes blur the edges with all the braces I use

13. Regarding working and career: I’m really lucky to have a fantastic part time job I can do from home. No idea what the future holds in this department … a lot of careers I might have chosen seem tricky bc they are too demanding, or the schooling is. So we’ll see

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Sometimes I feel sad about the lost “potential,” and honestly I still don’t like thinking about the kind of things people expected from me when I was younger. I guess I have a small degree of sadness that I’ll never work at a particle accelerator or be a big name in my field or anything, but honestly I might be happier this way:)Definitely less stressed!

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Be happy! Or even find a life worth living. But I’m actually happier now than I was before I got sick

17. The commercials about my illness: I haven’t seen any yet. I get a couple Facebook ads suggesting I buy electrolyte drinks, but that’s about it

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I just miss being able to be busy all day. I have so many things I want to do and love doing, and I have so little time for all of them!

19. It was really hard to have to give up: Ballet and flexibility training. I miss stretching so much

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: running my blogs! I’ve found this really fulfilling and I never would have gotten into this if I hadn’t gotten sick. Its really great to be able to help people, and to realize that something that should exist doesn’t, and then make it happen.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I’d do something spontaneous and enjoy how easy things can be. Go hiking and camping, go on some crazy road trip, do a marathon day of exploring a city, know i can sleep in a car or on a floor and not be too banged up, not need to worry about bringing all the meds and stuff I need, etc

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: There isn’t anything that really bothers me - for the most part everyone has been great. The unwanted pity thing is awkward, but doesn’t really get me mad. Honestly, my biggest problem has been getting people to say anything at all! I’ve gotten a lot of “sorry I disappeared, I didn’t know what to say” from people and I don’t want to make it worse!

24. But I love it when people: Notice when I can’t do something that the group is doing, and sit it out with me, or work to include me. Big family events and parties and stuff can be really sad when no one notices I can’t participate! Other than that, just stay in my life, & accept what I tell them as true. Also people who ask respectful questions:)

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: even bad days have 24 hours

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: 1. it is possible to have a good life with chronic illness 2. bad days don’t last forever 3. Your illness is valid, you belong in the chronic illness community, and you aren’t faking it even when you worry you are (almost everyone I know with chronic illness feels this way, I blame society) 4. be sympathetic to yourself - its ok to grieve and be sad about this 5. i believe in you

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How boring and mundane it is! even big dramatic events are full of so much waiting and mundanity. Filling out paperwork in the ER and waiting for hours, making 7 phone calls to try and track down important test results, the monotony of managing medications, appointments, insurance, etc … idk I used to think that having a scary illness would make life more exciting or something, but it doesn’t feel that way from the inside

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: Oh gosh my family has done SO much for me. My ex really went above and beyond, and I’m forever grateful to her for that. And a major shoutout to all my chronic illness friends who have answered all my medical questions and helped me understand and cope with scary new test results

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: there are SO many misconceptions about illness and disability, including the perception that you can tell if someone is sick/disabled by the way they look or act!

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: happy yay thanks for listening:)

PS - all photos were taken in the last 6 months, so during a time where I was already quite limited and dealing with a variety of chronic illnesses & symptoms. Even though I’ve seen some improvements in the last year, I’m still far to sick to manage school or a full time job and I have whole bunch of health issues I need to balance on a daily basis

anonymous asked:

Why do you even cosplay, buying all this resin and fabric and whatever along with going to super expensive cons and the like when you're clearly in a financially disadvantaged situation? Oh wait. Maybe you can afford it all with your 'surgery' money. Nobody believes it any more.


If you actually know anything about me, which is pretty easy considering I basically liveblog my life, you’d know you’re fucking dumb.

Maybe because I make a business off of cosplay, I quit my job to make props and costumes because I can do it on my own time when I’m feeling up to it. I have my EIN and am officially doing business legally in the state of NY. Did you see my post about sorting reciepts for taxes for my business the other day? Oh right, no you didn’t because you’re a piece of shit.

A resin re-order of all materials costs about 500$, two big helmets and a little one cover that cost. I can make twice that amount of props with the materials (there’s other costs too, but whatever, cost is recouped and profit still being made). It’s called math, learn you some.

I went to school for fashion and costume design, a huge amount of the fabric I have was purchased with grants, taken from the free student stockroom, or purchased years ago as I have been sewing for eighteen years. I occasionally clean up at Joann’s when they have 50% off red tags and they have stuff that I continually sell and can profit on. I’m working through old stock, and even costumes I make for myself are for sale - if someone is my size and has money it’ll be in the mail in 24 hours.

I am not going to a single convention this year that I have not been either invited to (free), or paid to attend. This is the important one. Surprise, I’m more successful than you. Going to conventions is a net win; there has not been one yet wherein the amount of money I’ve made due to networking, appearances, sales, and the like has not allowed me to at the very least break even, some of them have been profit in the four-digit range. Oh my god, it’s like its my job or something.Also most of the cons I go to are within a few hours drive of my house. It’s also not glamorous when it isn’t nearby, we pile like eight people into a hotel room and bring our own food from home so as to minimize cost and maximize profit.

I don’t actually own anything I sell on my shop. Yep, it all goes to customers. You know how many times I’ve sold a Lady Loki helmet that I made special for myself because I needed money and cosplay is a luxury? I cannot afford to have and keep most of the costumes I make on my blog, taking commissions allows me to do what I went to school for and make money while working with materials I could not afford. All of my ‘main’ costumes now (har har all two of them that weren’t made with random shit from the back of my closet) have recouped their cost and made profit via cash prizes for costume contests - it’s like it’s *gasp* profitable if you’re skilled. I’ve sold my Loki, my Thranduil crowns, my Margaery dress.

I don’t even remember half of DragonCon 2014 because I had issues on wound upkeep and had to have oral surgery the day prior to leaving and was high as balls on codeine the whole time.

“Nobody believes it anymore” It’s really not that hard to go back through my history and watch me get sicker and sicker as I fail at life.  Me and my husband have made the informed decision not to have kids because I am not well enough to do so and burdening a child with all my genetic issues is cruel. There’s even a fair amount of hospital selfies. I used to be a competitive and touring dancer. Now I can’t always get out of bed and have such severe intestinal problems from all my medications that I’m shitting blood. Yep, totally doing that for attention. It’s also a LOT of fun to have six root canals and four teeth pulled and worry about losing your jaw. Oh, also ever have shitty dental insurance and have work done without novocaine because its expensive when not covered? I suggest you try it, super relaxing and gets you loads of sympathy, amirite?

I just got this fun shit in the mail today. My oral surgeon felt so goddamn bad for me that she held back billing so it fell into a new calendar year so that part of this would be covered by insurance and I’d have time to save up money. That and she didn’t want me to skip treatment because then the situation could escalate.  Luckily half of that got covered, so like 500$ is on me. I am going this week and it’ll cost ~500$ to me after insurance again. My dental insurance covers 1k of copay per year. i have 3k (after insurance) of surgery left after.

I’m not financially disadvantaged as a whole. My hubby has a decent job and I work from home. We’re both paying off student loans, which is loads of fun. No one who is not obscenely rich is ever, ever prepared for a serious medical emergency in the US (I distinctly remember my mom crying and talking about re-financing their mortgage when I had to be hospitalized for testing and surgery for two weeks as a teenager). We were saving for a house, all of that money went directly into my face, and set us back about four years. Four years of mutual savings. Four. Years. Do you even have four years of savings? I actually have a screencap on my phone of my bank app prior to all this shit going down, because I was really proud/impressed that I’d managed to save that much money and might be able to move somewhere cool. Now I’ve got ~100$ that isn’t already ear-marked for the 2/3 of surgical costs that I’ve managed to put aside myself since September. And that 100$ is shipping money for people’s orders. So really I don’t have any money.

I’ve sold lots of my cool toys. I used to model, and had fun stuff from it. I’ve sold ALL my designer clothing, lolita clothing, movie props, even any normal clothes that Plato’s Closet will take on consignment. I ebayed lots of books I didn’t need. My husband sold his Harley, some Warhammer armies, his PS3, etc. I’ve kept a couple of my swords and things that have sentimental value, or are so long discontinued I’ll never be able to reacquire them once I climb out of this pit. 

In closing:

Shove your stupid opinions and false accusations up your ass.

I hope you’re a cosplayer too, come up to me at a con and I will gladly show you my scars and unfinished dental implants, punch you, and then proceed to be a far more successful and happy person with all my problems than you will ever be without them.

anonymous asked:

I first sent this to some1 who doesn't like kidfic, so now I'm here. I had a dream about the party coming upon a dying tal-vashoth woman who'd just had a baby and everyone being like "Well, Dorian and Bull can raise it," and Bull is like "????!" but DORIAN is "Yes, give me the baby. Who's my little star, it's you! Biggest baby Pavus in generations, aren't you? Why are you looking at me like that, Bull, make yourself useful and wind this fabric around so my hands are free and the baby is secure."

HELLO ANON YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE, i should just change my blog title to “kidfic <3″ because i think i could probably read and/or write kidfic every day for the rest of my life and be content with my lot in life. this is who i am. it’s who i want to be.

i tend to write bull as liking kids more than dorian but i’m starting to love the opposite (ty for starting me down this road, chaoslindsay), and boy howdy let me tell you i absolutely love this idea. (WHAT A GOOD DREAM BTW.) here are some thoughts i had because i have a lot of feelings okay:

A qunari child would be so outside of Dorian’s childhood expectations for himself, and the demands placed on him by his parents and society, that it’d be easy for him to look at the child and not think immediately of a future where this child would be groomed and molded into the perfect heir, as they tried to do with him. So it’d help to eliminate some of his own unreasonable compunctions, and he’d just be frigging delighted 24/7 with this tiny creature who fits in his arms. A qunari that fits in his arms, who’d have ever thought, whose horns haven’t even started growing in.

And Dorian – who hasn’t maliciously thought of Bull as a beast in years, who hasn’t said the words even jokingly in months – still finds himself struck with what he was taught about the Qunari, what he still thinks when a new Vashoth joins the Inquisition. And now, every time the child opens his wide dark eyes and blinks lazily up at Dorian, every time he seems surprised by his own hands waving in front of his face, every time he laughs and squawks and hiccups after he’s done crying… Dorian thinks he can do better, for this child. He will. 

He rocks the child in his arms late at night and whispers against the tight curls springing out of the sweet crown of his head, coaxes him to sleep for papa, darling, that’s a good boy.


Vivienne is not particularly fond of the mess and chaos that accompanies a child, but she finds Dorian the information he needs, reaches out to her contacts in Rivain for anything on the rearing of qunari children. Sera and Varric are delighted by the child, Sera playing peekaboo with him for what seems to Dorian hours, Varric self-editing his own novels into naptime fare, until the babe yawns and slips under. It takes some time for Dorian to accept what he can’t help but think is charity – until Vivienne tells him one evening over a glass of excellent wine that friendship is not charity, Dorian. Do not think yourself above or undeserving one of the chief tenets of a relationship. And oh, it is a help, because Bull is…

Bull is supportive, and does as Dorian asks him to do. But Bull seems to be all thumbs when it comes to the child. He holds him in stiff arms, glancing down at him with brief looks, never lingering, like he’s checking that the child is still there but doesn’t want to dwell on it either.


Every time Bull looks at the kid, he thinks of the potential children he has who are still under the Qun, who maybe inherited his penchant for caring too much, for going too far, and what happened to them when he went Tal-Vashoth. There’ll be records, people tasked with watching them, if that first pregnancy took then that kid should be old enough to have been in their role for a while. What’d he bring down onto them? His tama didn’t deserve it, she did her best with him; but what about the kids who got whatever desirable traits the tamassrans wanted to breed for – and then the shitty stuff too? It’s not their fault, but it’s on their heads now, whatever insubordination they were born with.

It’s… unsettling then, to be handed this kid with the expectation that he’s not gonna fuck him up.


“What’s his name?” Bull asks quietly, arms still stiff but hand gentle under the child’s head.

Dorian breathes out loudly, half tired laugh, and crosses his arms – and then promptly uncrosses them, concerned the pose makes him look as frustrated as he feels. “Every name I know is Tevinter. I’m not sure that’s appropriate.” Which is true, but also a ploy to force Bull to make some sort of decision – Dorian’s been combating the fear that Bull’s not wanted this since they first agreed to take care of the child, that Bull said yes because it was the right thing to do, because Dorian wanted it, because Bull still stumbles over wanting things for himself…

“Kid needs a name,” Bull says, and he caresses the kid’s temple, the little bump that’ll one day sprout into a horn. “Okay if we call him Felix?”

Dorian can’t speak past the lump in his throat. He tries, an unflattering creak making its way out his mouth, and then he’s nodding, unable to look away from the tenderness in Bull’s touch.