it's baby food

The only one I can relate right now is Chloe flirting with the fucking turkey

We’re only doing 2 of the 4 things we had scheduled for today and as soon as I can ease my guilt about not doing one I will appreciate it as a good decision. The original plan for the day:

  • Squadron Fundraiser fun-run 8:30 am on base. ¼ mile run for kids, 3 mile run for adults. Bouncy house. 
  • 3 year old’s birthday party 11-1 at White Sands. 
  • 5 year old bday party 2pm at Space Museum.
  • 5 year old bday party 2:30 at someone’s house south end of town.

We skipped the run because of Jem being sick yesterday and we weren’t sure how last night/this morning was going to go. Didn’t want to take a pukey, feverish kid to a run or a bouncy house. We skipped the 3 year old’s party bc White Sands is far and it’s right in the middle of Dill’s nap time. That’s the one I feel guilty about. It would’ve been nice to help the squadron out with our runner’s entrance fees, but no one’s really going to notice/care we didn’t make it. 

Jem is currently attempting to attend both 5th bday parties, though. Because the 2pm one he got invited to a long time ago and we had already RSVPed yes. The 2:30pm one is his classmate who is like his favoritest person EVER. I was really torn because they just gave us the invitation on Tuesday. I wanted to teach Jem about following through and not flaking for something better. But like also he’s fucking 4 and he barely knows the first kid (they’re in different classes at the same school so they see each other sometimes, but his dad works with Major Dad so that’s how we got an invite). I just texted the mom of Kid 2 asking if it was okay to come to his party a little late and she said yes. So he’s going to Kid 1′s for 45 minutes, 15 min drive to Kid 2′s, Kid 2 party for an hour. 

  • Sting: Why are you cuddling up to me all of a sudden?
  • Rogue: Can't I just cuddle with my boyfriend? It's not like I have an ulterior motive.
  • Sting: ...You just want my food, don't you?
  • Rogue: ...Duh, you're eating cookies...

i was analyzing a gif earlier n like… lance and hunk are looking forward… shiro looks like hes kinda looking behind/past hunk specifically… when keith smiles (LOOK AT HIS SMILE???) he specifically turns away from pidge to look over his shoulder… listen… when theyre all happy shiro and keith automatically look toward each other… #he is looking at keith #he is looking at shiro

There’s that one Tumblr post that goes “reblog this with the weirdest thing you call your pet” and I wish it would come up again because now that I have a pet, I call her many things including “Pop Rocks And Soda” and “Little Baby’s Ice Cream” and I genuinely do not know which is weirder

i cut up some baby carrots and look into a nonexistent camera. “they’ll soak up all the flavor from the beef, you see,” i say. this may be true. it may be a blatant lie. i don’t know, i know nothing about baby carrots or beef. who let me in a kitchen. someone stop me. someone take away the food network

Imagine Woozi looking at you in awe because you’ve managed to prepare a delicious Christmas feast for 14 people.

but a samstevebucky au where steve and bucky are raising a cute little blonde kid named ben but aren’t romantically together

steve meets sam at a gluten free bakery, his toddler craving muffins – muffins are steve and bucky’s worst nightmare because ben doesn’t understand he’s gluten intolerant when he sees any type of muffin; muffins are his kryptonite. so steve carries ben in, and sam’s the guy behind the counter. sam talks ben through the muffins he has, patient as ben talks and questions loudly over steve; steve thanks god he doesn’t have to deal with frustrating the cashier because ben’s indecisive and thanks sam for dealing with them. sam laughs and waves it off. 

ben demands as fiercely as a three year old can that he wants more muffins the next day. and the next day. bucky laughs as steve tries to give him the store bought ones; ben takes a bite and then spits it out. he wants “the bakery one.” so a trip to sam’s bakery becomes part of the weekly routine, ben getting a muffin every five days or so; bucky cuts back on his starbucks. ben gets super excited to eat the muffins and babble at sam. steve jokes that he should leave ben with sam as they leave one day, and ben just says “yes.” 

bucky meets sam when steve’s down in bed, his chest pains and stomach too much that day. ben pets bucky’s hair, trying to braid it as he tells bucky all about sam’s. bucky nods along and stops dead when he actually walks into the bakery. steve is fucking dead when he gets better because he didn’t tell bucky what a knock out the guy their kid’s drooling over is. as it is, he just plasters on a flirty smile as he brings ben over to the counter, the line short. sam takes a look at ben’s smiling face and bucky before lifting an eyebrow. “steve didn’t tell me he had a partner” is what he says, and bucky decides steve is going to be even deader. he didn’t tell bucky on purpose. 

after setting sam straight, and flirting with him as ben sloppily gobbles up his muffin – bucky doesn’t think about how it’s his eating habits ben picked up, he’ll deny it forever, steve is the rotten influence – bucky takes ben to the park to play and then heads home to see if steve’s feeling better. he isn’t, so he and ben cuddle up next to him and watch movies on the laptop. 

after that, steve and bucky – they don’t fight, per-say, but they try to be the one to take ben to get his muffin. each time, they can tell sam’s more and more amused. ben, bless him, just eats his muffins and asks sam about his day and cooking and continues to ignore the flirting. eventually, steve and bucky go in together, and sam picks up ben, turning him to face his dads. “do you think it’s time i gave them my number, huh, bud?” ben shakes his head; he thinks that’d mean no more muffin trips, and the adults laugh at the horror that crossed ben’s face at the admission. 


Here’s a doctor’s very simple response when asked about humans drinking cows milk. 


Pairing: Minkey
AU: Cocoon
Rating: PG-13 for language and the mildest of mild innuendo
Word count: 2400+
Content warnings: Brief reference to deadnamingย 
Other notes: This is a sidefic, and it happens shortly before the first Cocoon installment. The main AU is Onjongtae focused. Thank you to @bad-symptoms for writing enough cute Minkey to pull me out of my horrible writerโ€™s block.ย 

Other installments, in chronological order:

And the prequels to Cocoon: Flirtย (Ontae) and Notice Meย (Jongtae)

Minho struggled up the stairs to the apartment, wincing as the thin plastic handles of each heavily laden grocery bag cut into the skin of his hands and wrists. When he got to the door, he tried briefly to reach into his pocket to fish out the key, but his hands were too full, and he settled for gently kicking the base of the door, hoping that Kibum would hear the muffled thumps from his makeshift sick bed on the living room sofa. But his boyfriend did not come to the door, and after a minute, Minho sighed, set all the bags down, and then fiddled with the key. He shivered suddenly; it was May, but there was still a chill in the air, especially as the sun tipped toward the horizon in late afternoon. At last he got the door open.

โ€œKibum,โ€ he called softly, as he stooped and set his shoulder against the door to keep it from swinging shut so he could lift all the bags over the threshold. Still no response, even as he straightened and stepped over the bags and shut the door behind him. Kibum must be asleep, he thought, as he eased off his shoes and rounded the corner silently into the living room. But the rumpled nest of blankets and pillows on the couch was empty. He sighed as he saw the crumpled tissues and empty mugs and glasses and โ€“ were those candy bar wrappers? โ€“ strewn on the floor alongside the sofa. Kibum wasnโ€™t a neat person at the best of times, but he didnโ€™t even bother to maintain a pretense of cleanliness when he was sick.

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