it's always loki

american gods: a summary
  • Wednesday: I have done nothing wrong. Ever. In my life.
  • Shadow: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW FUCK YOU FUCK EVERYTHING
Loki x Reader: Honeymooners pt 1

Gonna turn this into a multi chapter thing since it’s getting kinda long. The prompt about reader and Loki going undercover as honeymooners at a fancy honeymoon destination that I said I’d write forever ago but didn’t get around to

(So if you’re going under cover for anything, you’d probably want fake names, but I don’t want to make up fake names and I like using Loki’s name so yea…)




A loud ringing from your nightstand roused you from your deep sleep. Your eyes opened instantly, years of training instantly putting you on alert as you recognize a mission briefing call. “I’m here.” You answered.

 "Agent, good, head up to the debriefing room,“ Mariah Hill’s voice came through the speaker, "we have your next assignment.”

You nodded, the last traces of sleep leaving you as you remembered she couldn’t see. “Should I grab my partner?”

“Not yet, he’s getting a debriefing packet but there’s classified information we need to go over with you separately.”

You raised an eyebrow. Loki, god of mischief, currently tasked with aiding SHIELD for glorified community service and thus your partner on most missions, would be debriefed separately? If you were working together, wouldn’t the logical thing be to brief you simultaneously so any ideas the other had or questions could be addressed together? You knew better than to ask questions though, Mariah would just end up repeating her orders. “Understood, I’ll be there in ten.”

“Hurry, your transport leaves in two hours, everything you need is packed, so this debriefing has to be fast.”

You sighed as she hung up, failure to plan on SHIELD’s part always warranted an emergency on your part. Hopefully the travel time would be long so you and Loki could fill each other in on anything that had been missed. Still, something about separate briefings disturbed you. No sense in worrying about it now though, time was ticking and you still needed to shower.

Ten minutes later, you were rushing into the briefing room where Mariah sat at a long high-tech table, a TV screen displaying a mountain lodge behind her. “Recognize it?” Mariah asked, looking up as you entered.

You stared at the screen blankly, searching your memory. The lodge seemed familiar in a dreamlike way, but nothing truly stood out.

“Not sure, your history and all, but some little girls grow up planning their dream weddings and honeymoon vacations.”

You frowned glancing between her and the screen. “I’d never really thought about it, I guess. Marriage might come some day, but I’ve had other things to worry about. Maybe friends planned their’s…” You trailed off, not sure what she was getting at.

Mariah smiled, “don’t worry, it’s not a test, just was wondering if you recognized it. That’s the location of your mission. ‘Lover’s Lodge, Honeymoon Resort’, honeymoon destination of only the wealthiest and luckiest clients. It’s such a destination resort that any who attend have to prove they’ve been married in the last 48 hours. Officially they prefer 24, but occasionally travel gets interrupted and they felt like expanding the inclusion list. Newlyweds plan their weddings around when there’s space available here, very exclusive.”

“I’ll bet.” You crossed your arms, not wholly impressed. Sure it was an interesting place to visit, presumably anyone lucky enough to be an actual guest would enjoy it, but that type of feather in your cap didn’t particularly interest you, not when you’d been told of an impending mission and you were very much single. Sure you pined after a guy, but he was millennia out of your league and definitely didn’t return the feelings. Plus with your busy work schedule, dating really had taken a back seat to your plans.

“So what’s the mission?” You finally prompted.

Mariah blinked, “there’s underground seismic activity. Gamma levels are off the charts. We have reason to believe a magical portal of sorts is open in an underground area. The lodge itself exists in a weird jurisdiction and since the portal is believed to be magic in nature, we need your partner to investigate it.”

“Loki.”

She nodded, “he’s uniquely equipped to handle magical enemies and we don’t particularly trust him to do anything solo. The god of lies title and history inspires a great deal of understandable distrust.”

You shrugged, “fair enough. I trust him though.”

“Which makes you uniquely suited to operate as his partner, as well as the other portion of this undercover operation.”

You were starting to get a headache, she seemed to be hinting at something without daring to say the actual nature of what she meant. “So we’re undercover as work staff?”

Mariah smiled thinly, “I was hoping you might’ve guessed… no, the owner needs to be investigated to see if he has any part to play in the operation of this portal and the background checks and period of time it would take to sneak you into the workforce would be far too long.”

“So?” You prompted, mind not quite working.

“I need you to go undercover as guests. Far more freedom to move around this way.”

You swallowed hard, mind reeling. “But guests have to be newlyweds…”

Mariah held up a sheet of paper. Warily, you took it from her, examining it carefully. There in crisp new letters, signed by the state of New York, lay your full name married to Loki Laufeyson. You looked up at her stunned, “what the hell is this?”

“Less than 48 hour old marriage license between you and Loki, thought that was clear. We have wedding pictures as well as several witnesses that can attest the validity of your wedding.”

“You married me to Loki without either of us knowing?” No wonder they didn’t want Loki in attendance, he was sure to be pissed.

“It’s forged, but will fool the admissions there, we snuck a different couple in several weeks ago to make sure. You’re going undercover as a newlywed couple, enjoying all the amenities and making sure to close that portal and if necessary, remove the owner from his position, assuming he is involved. Think of it as a working vacation.”

“With an ornery god, you do know Loki isn’t going to be pleased.”

“It’s a six hour car trip, you’ll have plenty of time to warn him. And it’s by limo, refrigerator and bar fully stock, all expenses paid.”

“What if I refuse?”

“You’ll be out of a job.” Mariah glared at you.

Your eyes flashed, “I’m one of your most loyal and successful agents, one refusal and I’m out on the streets?”

Mariah sighed, “no, you’ll be heavily reprimanded and demoted, pay cut and put on leave, but please, you’re the only one qualified to do this, we need you.”

“You need Loki.”

“He won’t work with anyone else, there’s no punishment we can give him, all of it has to be willing. Even threat of returning to prison on Asgard hardly bothers him. Please, he seems to like you.”

You grit your teeth, that was the bitter crux of it. That Loki considered you an acquaintance of sorts but would never share your feelings. To have to openly act as though you were madly in love with him, only to return to hiding your feelings would kill you. Worse, Loki would either pretend to go along with it and not see how badly it tore you apart each moment, or he would refuse because ultimately he couldn’t even tolerate you as a friend. Nothing of this mission wouldn’t end extremely painfully for you. “Fine, but I’m getting another more expensive vacation after this.”

“It’s practically a vacation already, other than the portal.”

“And an obstinate Loki. That’s the only way I’m agreeing.” You crossed your arms.

“We’ll take it up with Fury, no absolute promises, but I’m sure we can manage something.”

“Good.”

By the time your conversation ended, you were becoming pressed for time. You practically flew out of the room, rushing down the many stairs and out to the waiting limo that Loki sat in, already looking annoyed. His arms were crossed as he glared sullenly out the tinted windows, fingers tapping in time to some unheard beat. “Sorry,” you panted, scrambling in beside him. A soft smile touched the corners of his mouth upon seeing you, “got held up with Mariah.”

Loki nodded, “for a moment, I was worried they might send a replacement for you.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easily.” You winked, settling in as the car lurched forward.

Loki nodded curtly, that smile once more returning. “I take it there’s a reason we were informed separately.”

“Oh yea, and you’re just going to love it.” Sarcasm dripped heavily from your tone and Loki raised his eyebrow curiously. Over the next hour you and Loki shared the various information regarding the specifics of the mission finally coming to the part you dreaded most.

“But all this could just as easily have been told together, why the separation?” Loki mused.

“It’s our cover,” you sighed heavily, lifting up the marriage certificate. Loki frowned, “I suppose I didn’t think we’d spend long there.” You shook your head, “part vacation since it’s a resort and SHIELD is cheap, and we need to investigate the owner as guests. It’s easier than getting us jobs apparently.”

Loki squinted at the paper, “we’re married?” He looked up at you and blinked.

You popped the cork off the bottle you’d been struggling to open, “only technically,” you said taking a long swill. “It’s a forgery but best in the business. Sorry to do that to you, only way they could think of apparently.”

Loki shrugged, “I could think of worse covers.”

You looked at him, mid drink. Slowly you removed the bottle, “really?”

“They could have placed me with a different agent, which would be insufferable.”

You laughed, “yea, I guess.” Still your heart ached, not sure how to vocalize your feelings.

Loki could see the sadness in your eyes but didn’t seem to realize what caused it. “What if we made it into a competition?”

“A competition?” You repeated.

“Whoever appears the better and more in love spouse, the winner.”

You winced internally but you knew you loved a good challenge. Almost unwittingly, you heard yourself answer, “you’re on, I’m going to kick your ass at this.”

“My love, that you could think to hurt me?” Loki placed his hand over his heart in shock.

You scowled, “you didn’t say we started yet!”

“Fair enough agent.”

“What’s the loser have to do?”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.” Loki smirked.

Scoffing, you retorted, “yea right, I’m going to win.”

The car ride passed uneventfully, you and Loki having plenty of the finer details of the mission to discuss and plan. “So it’s in a sort of mountainous area, built on a number of natural hot springs that make for quite the scenic hot tubs.”

Loki pursed his lips, “perhaps we might skip the hot tubs?”

You stared at him blankly, “and sauna? I gather?”

Loki nodded, “I don’t care for heat much.” He trailed off, looking away. You didn’t press him, but he had alluded to not tolerating heat in the past, perhaps this was related.

“It’s built over an inactive volcano, I believe, dig deep enough and you’ll find lava but no worries of eruption in my life time. At least that’s what SHIELD’s experts seem to think.”

“Is that related to the portal?”

“More like a fun fact.” You shrugged, “and a tram that can take guests down to the beach, only an hour’s ride. Sunbathing could be fun.”

Chuckling, Loki reached for his drink, “I’m sure the number of newlyweds enjoying the sunset will be amusing.”

“Probably. The tram doesn’t stop, every half hour all night. Midnight swims on a clothing optional beach.” You swallowed hard, trying not to picture Loki partaking in that.

“They really are encouraging intimacy everywhere, aren’t they?” Loki blinked, studying you.

The look he gave you was so intense, you found yourself turning away, if only to hide your blush. “Guess so. At least no one will check on whether or not guests do, right?” You forced a weak laugh.

Loki nodded thoughtfully, “that would be awfully invasive of them.”

Sleeping with Loki, or rather sleeping with Loki had only briefly crossed your mind. It would be hard to get around not sharing a bed but two mature adults could handle that surely, but if anyone noticed? That would be the final nail in your coffin to fake sex with Loki just to maintain your cover, or real but wasn’t mutually desired.

“Agent?” Loki prompted, pulling your mind back to the present.

“Meeting the owner might be challenging if he’s behind the portal.” You forced yourself to change the subject. “Though I believe he greets each couple personally during their stay, guess we’ll have to meet as many couples as possible to increase our chances of running into him.”

Loki sighed, resting his chin on his fist, “wonderful, socializing with mortals.”

-

“Oh! Loki!” You paused, “I mean, darling look! We’re here I think!”

Loki straightened up, roused from his bored stupor and followed your pointing finger out the window. For the past half hour, the limo had been winding its way slowly upwards through a forested mountainside and it had at long last shown signs of nearing a massive resort. The picture Mariah had shown you really didn’t do the place justice for its size and splendor, anyone fortunate enough to visit would definitely have to pay a small fortune.

Loki chuckled at your pet name for him, “So we have, congratulations on our first day of marriage.”

You reached for your phone and opened it, noticing a barrage of pictures featuring you and Loki photoshopped into a number of wedding poses. It had been a small, private affair apparently, contrasting notably with the amount that would go towards the honeymoon but it was evidently about the two of you and no one else.

Loki leaned against you, staring down at the pictures. You could feel your cheeks heating in a blush at the close proximity, you had been this close before and managed to hide your feelings, why was it suddenly different? You silently admonished yourself.

“That’s a lovely dress,” Loki murmured, tilting his head to the side. His long hair brushed against your cheek and you fought back a shiver. “Somehow, I think the dress would look better on the actual you, not this model they chose.”

You furrowed your brows, surprised by the sincerity of the compliment. Opening your mouth, you looked up to ask him if he was acting or meant it but Loki’s attention was already back to the sprawling grounds of the resort. Your mouth fell shut and you stayed quiet.

The limo finally rolled to a stop, the door opening as the two of you scrambled out. Loki left first, turning around and offering you his hand to help you, placing a gentle kiss on it before allowing you to straighten up completely out of the car.

You closed your eyes, praying silently for patience, strength to make it through this mission, then slowly opened them and beamed at Loki. The flirtatious giggle came easy to you as you leaned forward and pecked his cheek. Loki stiffened for a moment, before sinking into your touch as though it were the most natural thing ever.

“Do you have the marriage license, love?”

“Right here, sweetie.” You giggled again, waving it for him.

Loki pursed his lips, eyes darkening, clearly not amused by the pet name. If you were going to suffer, dying for this to be real, you might as well punish Loki with cute names. A hotelier approached as the two of you stood there, no time to turn back now.

Imagine:

Bucky putted a few drops of love potion in your drink before dinner begin. He watches you carefully and when you finally drink from your glass, his heart hails in victory    

8

OH MY GOD! I’M HYPERVENTILATING. HELP! LOKI WROTE HEARTFELT LETTERS TO HIS CRUSHES!

Originally posted by knockinon-heavens-door

  • *me watching Thor*
  • Dad: So what were you watching last night? I heard you fangirling.
  • Me: Thor! I was so glad he didn't die.
  • Dad: Oh yes, he's a very likeable actor, isn't he?
  • Me: Yeah, totally! I was so happy when he showed up again at the very end of the movie!
  • Dad: Wait... are you talking about Loki?!?!?! You like HIM?!
  • Me: How does that honestly surprise you after all we've been through.
Stuttgart chapter preview

I know I don’t update often, but I swear I’m working on stuff – including my writing sample for the job market this fall (here we go again), but also fanfiction. So, here’s the first little bit of Chapter 14 of The Abyss Gazes Also.

@angrymadsygin, @darklittlestories, @fuckyeahrichardiii, @iamhisgloriouspurpose@illwynd, @lunariagold, @mastreworld, @nursejoh53, @pinknoonicorn@raven-brings-light, @starrynight35… fuck, who’s even reading this shit anymore?


Barton’s next target, and the owner of the eyeball he needed, was Heinrich Schäfer, the man in possession of the iridium that Selvig needed to stabilize the portal through the Tesseract. The eyeball was necessary because the iridium was in a heavily secured area that required a retinal scan to access. Iridium and eyeball were both located in Stuttgart—a moderately large city in the southwest of Germany, in case you were wondering. Not famous for much except being the birthplace of Hegel (an overrated philosopher if there ever was one), being in the heart of Germany’s richest wine-growing region (alas that my errand left me no time for fine Riesling…), and having a lovely opera house that draws some of Midgard’s best performers.

As it happened, Herr Schäfer was scheduled to speak at a charity fundraising event at the opera house the next evening, which worked perfectly for our purposes: there was a time when we knew exactly where to find him (without even having to break into his personal files); it would be in a public place with an already-assembled crowd, so attacking him would be sure to draw a lot of attention; and since the charity gala was scheduled after an early evening opera, I could even attend the performance before I was needed to acquire the eyeball. No doubt you think me hideously frivolous or callous for such a consideration… and yes, all right, I was, and am. But I will say in my defense that it had been half a century since I was last in Midgard and I still admire the magnificent art that Midgardians create, and in such quantities! Perhaps the brevity of their lives impels them to fill their days with as much beauty as possible, in as concentrated a form as possible. …

The next item of business, I pointed out to Barton, was to find me appropriate attire for attending the opera.  A glamour might have been sufficient under different circumstances, but since glamours dissipate upon contact and I would be manhandling my victim before I wanted to reveal myself in full regalia (not to mention risking accidental brushes with members of the crowd), I needed actual clothing that I could switch out for my kingly armor with the use of pocket dimensions. (As I have mentioned, the choreography of pageantry is a fine art for which I have the utmost respect and, dare I say it, something of a knack.)

Barton informed me that there was probably nowhere in the immediate vicinity of the base where suitable clothing could be found: the nearest town, as he eloquently explained, was “West Bumfuck, Arkansas.” (Yes, I love how such expressions come through in the All-Tongue: metaphors that were dead for the speakers of the language come vividly alive; obscenities that have been worn to banality by frequent use regain all their piquancy.) So I would have to do my shopping in Stuttgart when we arrived, in the few hours before the start of the show.

Barton and I rummaged through a room full of spare clothing that had been available to agents needing to change out of their own soiled or ruined garments or go out incognito. Eventually we found a suitable outfit that fit me, more or less: dark slender jeans, a tad too wide at the waist, but easily cinched with a belt; brown leather shoes with just a bit too much room in the toe; a slightly rumpled light-blue shirt closed by a line of small white buttons in the front, whose sleeves I rolled up to disguise the fact that they did not quite reach my wrists.

Imagine Loki watching a movie with you where one of the characters says to their love interest “if I had to choose between not loving you and not breathing, I’d use my last breath to say I love you.”
Loki slumps back into the couch, arms crossed and rolls his eyes. “What an idiotic line.” He grumbles.
You cast him a side eye look before dramatically declaring, “Loki, I love you!” You collapse back into the couch, holding your breath, eyes barely open to see what he will do.
Loki straightens up for a moment, the initial worry quickly replaced as he looks at your still form. “Well,” he hums thoughtfully, leaning over you, “I suppose the best way to help you breathe, is mouth to mouth.” He crawls over top you so you can feel his cool breath on your skin, “yet perhaps this matter is more serious, seeing as you confessed your love beforehand, perhaps…” Loki pauses again, moving away from your face, his cool hands reaching for your shirt, “perhaps this is cause for drastic measures.” He leans down and presses a chilly kiss to your stomach and you fight to suppress a giggle. You can feel Loki’s lips curl into a smile as he gently kisses you. “The princess still sleeps? Very well.” Loki continues, suddenly reaching down to tickle you.
You breathe in sharply, peels of laughter escaping as you struggle to push him away. “You cheat!” You gasp between desperate lungfulls of air.
Loki winks, “of course, now shall we finish this insufferable movie, or shall we move on to more exciting activities?”

Imagine Loki asking you to be his Queen.

“My dearest (y/n), I had planned a small speech to say but in my nervousness, I have forgotten so I’ll have to make do. I have loved you and will love you until the nine realms collapse. Please allow me the honor of being your King. Become my Queen and we shall rule.”

(Requested by the anon who wanted fluffy Loki)

*Not my gif

sidena  asked:

Do you know any really good Tony Stark-centric fics? I mean, there's a lot of Avenger Bonding out there - but I mean like, Tony is the main focus or just a fic in general that sticks out and shows Tony's personality like that giant ass neon sign we all know he wants. (THIS ONE, RIGHT HERE! XD)

The Last Archangel by inukagome15 automatically comes to mind, although it’s an Avengers/Supernatural crossover in which Tony is Gabriel. Still very, very good.

As for Tony-centrics in the Marvel fandom, I hope you don’t mind that pretty much all of them are Tony/Loki because that’s pretty much the only pairing I read for Tony, and they’re sort of Tony/Loki-centrics. If you’re okay with that, then yup, I have some I can rec.

The Enemy of My Enemy – Kadorienne

After the defeat of the Dark Elves, Asgard resumes enforcing its ancient hegemony over the other realms - including Midgard. To defend itself from Asgardian tyranny, Earth must seek alliance with its former enemy: Loki.

“Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.” - Terry Pratchett

Signals in Courtship – melonbutterfly

Tony is nonplussed at first when he starts to receive gifts from Loki that Thor informs him are courtship gifts, but he soon starts to return the interest. How could he not when nobody has ever gone to such effort to show their interest in him before, especially someone as fascinating as Loki?

And time will give us nothing – melonbutterfly

Depending on from which universe you count, it’s either 559 hours or 23,280 hours before Tony returns this time around. He’s not alone.

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