it's all on my wall now

acemess  asked:

hey can you exorcise my anxiety????

Okay. Guys. Thing’s this. 

Let’s say your problems are all in this five-yen coin.

Sure, I can magic it out of my hand. Close it, open it again, the coin’s gone. But does it disappear? No. No it does not. It’s now behind the trashcan in the corner of the room.

In fact it’s not even a five-yen coin. It’s a ramen hot dog covered in ketchup that’s now stained your wall.

You could have prevented it by putting it in a trashcan outside instead of trying to make it disappear with magic, but no, you chose this path. And now your wall’s covered in ketchup and everything smells like bad overpriced junk food. 

Point is, if you have problems, you should deal with it. Magic is a skill, not a miracle, and skills can only go as far as helping you solve your problems, not wiping their existence off of this earth just like that. So if you think I can help, you can book a session with very reasonable price and we’ll see from there, but I’m not gonna sell what I can’t do for free here. Now I need to get off the computer to clean this up, excuse me.

Maleficent is a dragon who cursed an infant because she wasn’t invited to a christening, this woman CANNOT raise a child.

Queen Griemhilde is a conceited, vain witch who killed a 14 year old because she was prettier than her, this woman CANNOT raise a child.

Jafar hypnotised the sultan, got himself turned into a magician, a genie, just for power and forced a 15 year old to be his slave girl, this man CANNOT raise a child.

Cruella DeVil is a mentally ill woman whose affection consists of derogatory comments, blowing smoke in your face and never taking no for an answer, this woman CANNOT raise a child.

So, let’s say Evie, Carlos, Mal and Jay grow up on an island without magic, surrounded by murderers, thieves, people who did bad things, people who are proud of these things. Let’s say, they don’t teach them to be evil. Let’s say, they teach them ‘don’t let anyone keep you from what you want, you are a queen, a dragon, a genie, you are magic’. Ben has dreams about a girl with green eyes and lilac hair, of a girl who is different, something fae, and he remembers the fairy who cursed his father because he wasn’t kind, so he asks his parents to let some of the villain’s kids stay in Auradon. Show them goodness.

When they arrive, they don’t arrive in a tumbling mess. They don’t even get out of the car, and when the chauffeur opens the door, there’s a stick thin girl with long blue hair staring at her hands, a muscled boy who almost isn’t a boy anymore, rubbing the bands on his arms, the girl from his dreams, eyes glowing, a little boy dressed in fur curled up in their laps.
They aren’t used to magic, even though it is in their very cores. So they take time to get used to it, to learn to live with death and power under their skin.

They weren’t sent to get a wand for world domination. They were sent to get a wand for freedom. So it takes them longer to realise just what their parents did. It takes talks and family day and Queen Leiah screaming at the top of her lungs (‘Get away from here, do not touch my grandchild, my daughter will never be mine because of you, how dare you, how dare you?’) for Mal to realise that this isn’t about invitations and pettiness. It’s about a woman with hair as yellow as gold and lips that shame the red red rose, growing up poor, in a cottage, falling to her death at the touch of a spindle, this is about her mother talking about the raven with more fondness than her, this is about all the things her mother did, no matter the reason.

Evie still studies with Doug, and she hasn’t been taught to score a prince, she’s been taught to use her beauty, it is all men want, get rid of them before they get rid of you, do NOT die. So she meets with Doug at his house and Dopey stares at her and then he gets Snow White, who breaks down crying at the sight of this thin, beautiful girl with hair in a colour that has haunted her sleep ('what did she do to you, was it not enough for her to kill me, what has she done to you’) and Evie realises that her mother’s stories are not about men, they are about this woman, about her sister, who was 14 and beautiful and dead. And this is about her and all the bones she can count when she looks in the mirror.

Jay befriends the only other Arabian speaking children he can find, plays gurney, ruthless and self centered and for him, and one day Aladdin picks his children up and Jay does one of those backflips where he stays in the air for too long and it knocks the wind out of him. Jay doesn’t understand because of Aladdin, he sees a thief, who is like him, but it isn’t what makes him think, tourney does the trick because they are a team and the world does not revolve around him, he is not the center of the universe.

Carlos knows that his mother is wrong from the moment he is old enough to master critical thinking. She shrieks and hits and worships fur and he spends his days begging for scraps. There’s no magic in him, no rush he gets from crossing the barrier, so he helps his friends. They have always been his lifeline, so maybe now he can be theirs.

"Close the floor. Close the floor. CLOSE THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW!!!"

*context* : our party fell into a maze dungeon full of undead and minibosses. So far all had been avoided when we reach a door that leads to a room with bones, flesh and other….horrors. In the center of that was a child vampire given orders by her “mommy” to kill anyone who passed through.

Our Antipalidan: “So is there any way to go AROUND you?”

Vampire kid: *sarcastically* “The walls”

Our Mercenary *rolls nat 20 to punch a wall, revealing a room full of bones*

My Swashbuckler: “Whats that?”

Vamp: “Oh thats my sisters room”

Antipalidan: “Close the wall!” upon which the mercenary covers the wall and rolls another nat 20 to punch the other wall.

DM: you see a dragon pinned up and broken to the point it can only spit acid

Swashbuckler: “Close it!” Mercenary covers the wall again.

Mercenary: “Fuck it. Im gonna roll to punch the ceiling” *rolls ANOTHER NAT 20 and we see a kitchen*

All of us climb up a rope and the antipalidan starts yelling. 

“Close the floor. Close the floor. CLOSE THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW!!!”

Our DM threw the mercenary’s dice to make sure it wasnt loaded (it wasn’t) and broke because we successfully avoided any fight when he planned out every little detail. 

DM to our Mercenary: “Add a plus twenty to damage when its towards structures or buildings”

10

Don’t Break This Deal AU comic, where Wirt tried to trick Bill, the demon underestimated Wirt, and both of them ended up sharing one body! Part 6, where Bill pokes around in Wirt’s mind and opens something he shouldn’t have, resulting in Wirt passing out and meeting The Beast

Comic parts: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

2

22/30 dailies

I really like the headcanon that Yagi has to eat like- frequently in small amounts, because of his stomach injury, but he never bothers to stick to it. Someone gotta make this man care for himself better >:I

Prompt:  Would it be okay to ask for Might/Inko, or Deku/Urahara? Something where the couples are trying to encourage and support each other. I know some people aren’t into het, so if you wanna pass on these, it’s cool.

The struggle was real with Inko, her face is so overworked and I’m STILL not ok with it but its coming up to 1am and I need to sleep (as always…) I also for some reason decided to draw an angle on the scene, thinking ‘yeah! I’ll get some cool perspective in there’ not thinking ‘hey what about that part of the sink that’d be attached to the invisible wall in front of them?’. So uh, transparent cupboards are the new thing? In stores now?

I’m still open for prompts, but I do have a lot that I wanna do already, so bear it in mind :)

not to offend anyone but...

written in these wall are the stories i can’t explain leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days she told me in the morning she don’t feel the same about us in her bones seems to me that when i die these words will be written on my stone & i’ll be gOne GOne tonight the gROund beneath my feet is Open Wide the way that ive been HOLding On too tight with nothing in between the STORY OF MY LIFE I TAKE HER HOME I DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO KEEP HER WARM & TIME IS FRO-OH-OH-OH-OZEN (the story of the story of) THE STORY OF MY LIFE I GIVE HER HOPE I SPEND HER LOVE UNTIL SHES BROKE INSIDE THE STORY OF MY LIFE (the story of the story of) written on these walls are the colors that i can’t change leave my heart open but it stays right here in its cage i know that in the morning now i see us in the light upon a hill although i am broken my heart is untamed still and i’ll be Gone Gone tonight the fire beneath my feet is Burning Bright the way that i’ve been holding on so tight with nothing in between tHE STORY OF MY LIFE I TAKE HER HOME I DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO KEEP HER WARM & TIME IS FRO-OH-OH-OH-OZEN (the story of the story of) THE STORY OF MY LIFE I GIVE HER HOPE I SPEND HER LOVE UNTIL SHES BROKE INSIDE THE STORY OF MY LIFE (the story of the story of) & i’ve been waiting for this time to come around but baby running after you is like chasing the clo-OU-uds the story of my life i take her home i drive all night to keep her warm and time is fro-oh-oh-oh-ozen THE STORY OF MY LIFE I GIVE HER HOPE (I GIVE HER HOPE) I SPEND HER LOVE UNTIL SHES BROKE INSIDE THE STORY OF MY LIFE (the story of the story of) THE STORY OF MY LI-I-I-I-IFE THE STORY OF MY LI-I-I-I-IFE the story of my life

  • Me: *sigh*
  • Cashier: What's wrong?
  • Me: It's the scent of this place. It's nostalgic. Reminds me of lavender scent of my grandmother's house. Even color of the walls remind me of the bygone era of my childhood; the dim sunsets of a fuzzy summer evenings, and faint memory of fading dreams.
  • Cashier: Ah, you want to start all over do you? I know the feeling. It's enough to drive me to the brink.
  • Me: Verily. At some point, I began to live my life in retrospect. The now doesn't matter anymore because everything has become so bland. What am I to do in this monotonous life when my happy times passed so long ago. It's as if-
  • Cashier: *turns into a 9 foot tall vibrating metal cube that deconstructs me at a molecular level and turns me into pure radium powder*
  • Guy, with that as fetish who actually wrote this post: *doesn't even jack it just looks at the screen all sweaty and breathing heavily*
  • Girlfriend: *walks into the room unannounced* Everything okay? You've been acting kind of strange recently.
  • Guy: *quickly closes all tabs* Oh, nothing. I'm just like. I'm... you know. I've been tired.
  • Girlfriend: *suspiciously* ...sure. Pizza's here by the way.
  • Guy: Okay, cool. I'll be right out. *wipes sweat from head*
  • Girlfriend: *texts best friend* He's definitely cheating. He just closed like twenty tabs on his computer!!!!!!!
  • Best Friend: Did you look through his browsing history?
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, it's all wikipedia pages about radioactive stuff. It's so fucking weird. He's either cheating or a terrorist.
  • Best Friend: That's creepy. I'd break up with him.
  • Girlfriend: I've been considering it, but it's complicated. I still feel so strongly about him. I don't want to ruin our relationship.
  • Best Friend: Sometimes you have to break things off with the people you care about the most. For a little bit anyway.
  • Girlfriend: Yeah, I get that. It's so hard though. I can't imagine life without him.
  • Best Friend: You have to do what you have to do. It's the only way to move forward. Getting stuck in a stagnant relationship can ruin you.
  • Girlfriend: I guess you're right...
  • Best Friend: *is wearing a full hazmat suit.*
  • Doctor: *walks up behind her* Jennifer, stop texting. We need you in the bottom.
  • Best Friend: Sorry, got it.
  • Best Friend: *descends in elevator, sees 9 foot tall humanoid ant corpse on the ground* Fucking gross! Do you know where it came from.
  • Doctor: No clue. It's why we called you here.
  • Best Friend: This isn't like any cryptid I've ever seen. It must be extraterrestrial in origin. Wait... is its body full of gummy worms? *hears the sound of the elevator going up behind her*
  • Best Friend: Doctor! Where are you going!? What the fuck!?
  • Doctor: Waves to her from the elevator.
  • Ant Humanoids: *appear from the shadows in the hundreds*
  • Best Friend: No, no, no, no! This can't be happening.
  • Ant Humanoids: *surround her*
  • Best Friend: Don't fucking come near me! I'm highly radioactive! You'll all die if you eat me.
  • Ant Humanoid in the back: *listening to comic book podcast*
  • Podcast Guy 1: So when it comes to Superman, I feel like there are actually two characters. Clark Kent, the man. Then there's Superman, the ideal. They're the same person but represent very different aspects of him.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Comic books are fucking stupid, my dude. *cellphone buzzes* Hold up, I gotta take this.
  • Podcast Guy 2: *gets an alert that his favorite fetish forum has updated, licks lips fuckingly*
  • Podcast Guy 2: *under breath* Oh yeah. A new radium dust sexual fanfic. Can't wait to tweak my noodle to this! Zoo wee mama!
  • Podcast Guy 1: What did you just say.
  • Podcast Guy 2: Nothing, man. We were talking about Superman. Let's continue with that.
  • Podcast Guy 1: Yeah, as I was saying. Superman would definitely be a power bottom and

anonymous asked:

Can you do a Wonho (sir) and JB (daddy) threesome. You wanted to have a new sexual experience so a lot of new kinks come into play. Any link you want. Please?

Exposure: 

“We are gathered here today..” You started once again groaning and biting on your bottom lip as you turned, pacing the floor once again. The soft brown carpet rubbing against your toes as you walked a few little steps to the right and then turned again to pace the same distance to the left, your breath becoming short as your stomach tied in knots.

“Y/N I swear to God if you start off any other sentence with a phrase like that I’m leaving.” Jaebum barked angrily.

“No!” You shouted looking forward at him and your other best friend Wonho pouting because you wanted this to work. You needed it to work.

“Then tell us what’s on your mind, please? You’ve been pacing back and forth for almost an hour starting off the same sentence with different setups only to stop again and Jaebum is right, it’s a bit worrying and annoying.” Wonho gently scratched the side of his head pouting up at you because he hated to make you mad or to see you seem so distressed. You clicked your tongue matching his pout as you watched them both, your arms crossing under your breast, pushing your breast up a bit and squeezing them together. You weren’t always the smartest when it came to people hitting on you but you knew in your heart they had both just looked at your breast and it made you nervous as fuck. Walking forward with slow steps you stood a few feet from them before you cleared your throat nodding.

“Hear ye, hear ye-“

“That’s it I’m leaving!” Jaebum groaned standing up he grabbed at his leather jacket from the couch turning his back on you. You balled your hands up in fist frowning as he got his things ready. You felt your stomach sink, but you knew you were a scaredy cat anyway. Looking down you decided maybe it was best if he left because you didn’t know if you had the heart to tell them what’s on your mind. “Why can’t you just fucking talk to me?!” Jaebum said angrily facing the wall. “I thought we were best friends.” He stated again walking towards the door, Wonho following behind him causing your face to get red from frustration and embarrassment.

“How do you.. Tell your guys friends you want a threesome with them without making it awkward? Especially when you practically are close enough to use the word brother but you fantasize so much about them you can’t say that word..” You mumbled softly shutting your eyes partway because you didn’t expect them to hear you over all the rustling of them putting on their shoes next to your door. But it appears they did hear you because Jaebum was staring at you with his mouth open, shutting the door slowly he took a few steps towards you.

‘What.. Did you say y/n?” He asked softly, noticing how tight and rigid your body was. Your fist balled up and your skin turning a shade deeper than a red rose. He felt a bit guilty for getting so mad at you. Seeing you shake your head side to side he smirked to himself slipping off his shoes and taking back off his leather jacket to reveal just his white T-shirt. He walked towards you his hand under your chin as he backed you up quickly against a wall causing you to gasp and look up at him. “I asked you a question. Are you going to answer.. Kitten?” He asked softly letting his thumb stroke your jaw slowly. His warm touch enough to make you tremble against the wall. His thumb played with your bottom lip until he was pushing it down a bit causing you to open your mouth. Your eyes were glued to him the entire time, feeling his body press hard against yours. And if you weren’t against the wall you probably would have fell.

“I want you.. I want you both.” You stated again chewing on your lip but he was quick to tug it down and groan at you. Pressing his forward against yours, his hands gripped at your side roughly, one of his legs sliding between yours. He wanted answers, his eyes burned with so much but the want was there and you could feel the hardening of his pants.

“Don’t fuck with me right now Y/n. I want you to tell me exactly what you want and I want you to say it right now. Or I’m leaving.” Jaebum had wanted you, he had confessed to Wonho many nights while he was drunk and sober the things he would do to you. How he would touch you and make you beg. Wonho was no different he wanted to be inside of you as well. It had been many nights that they caught you masturbating when they stayed over. The vibration of your toys was too much and it always got them curious and too hard for their own good. But you were the youngest of the two and they didn’t want to force you to do anything, they wanted it to be your decision. Now here you were unable to tell them that it was them who made your panties wet with just one look. Both of them standing there with dark gazes, hair slicked back revealing their handsome faces and you would give it all to ride them. Whimpering to snap out of your thoughts you looked off to the side towards the giant black clock that hung up on the opening of your wall before the kitchen.

“Jaebum.. I’m not kidding. For months now, I have thought about you and Wonho. Sex is fun and all but its become dull for me, and it’s been awhile since I’ve touched anyone or let them touch me. And I see you two come around with tank tops or sweats or anything tight and I get needy and I ruin my panties. I want to be treated like a slut. A dirty little kitten who wants and needs her daddies to take care of her.” You were dying on the inside but it was now or never you had to convince them because if you didn’t you knew they would shrug it off and tell you to wait. “I’m not that experienced I know. But, I brought a lot of toys.. And rope. And I want you to fuck me.. Both of you.” You looked back up at Jaebum who was speechless and almost drooling. You couldn’t read the look on his face but it didn’t take long for your unanswered prayers to be opened because Jaebum was pulling back with a smirk looking at Wonho.

“What do you say Hoseok? Is it time that we got out our own fantasies on this little kitten since we have all felt some sexual want?” He asked and your heart skipped a beat muttering a faint ‘what’ because you couldn’t believe they talked about these things together.

“I wouldn’t want anything more than to see her cute little toys and pound that pussy from behind until it’s talking to me.” Hoseok purred licking over his bottom lip as he leaned against the door his arms were crossed like yours had been earlier revealing his taught muscles.

“Then it’s settled. Princess think of a safe word.” Jaebum started.

“Saggy balls.” You replied causing both males to grimace and look at you.

“Why saggy balls?” Hoseok asked choking on his spit.

“Well.. I have thought about this a lot. And I have watched a few things so I know that saggy balls does not turn me on saying it, it just sounds gross and wet and-“Jaebum put his hand over your mouth giving you a pure look of not wanting you to continue.

“Spare us princess or it’ll take longer for us to get back hard.” He groaned nodding before smirking. “You’ve thought about this a lot and I’m proud. Let’s go, shall we? I’m ready to touch you.”

Jaebum grabbed your hand pulling you behind him and down the hallway towards you room. Your body followed behind him, and Hoseok followed behind the both of you, his eyes looking down at your ass and he couldn’t help but walk closer to you his hand reaching out to touch your ass cheeks that were peeking out from under the shorts, you gasped and looked back at him biting on your bottom lip giving him that innocent look that drove him mad and he could feel himself ready to pounce on you, so bad that a guttural growl left his lips as you all entered into your room. You let Jaebum’s hand go walking towards your closet to find the pink bag stash of toys you had, blushing softly you squirmed not wanting to come out.

“Fucking tease.” Hoseok hissed and Jaebum patted his head smirking. “That’s why as a daddy you get to punish her now don’t you? And maybe tease her back. Yah! Y/N if you take any longer I’ll come in there and drag you out myself!” Jaebum barked and it caused your skin to chill, almost running out of the closet you smiled sheepishly at them holding up the bag.

“Good girl.. Now strip for us. And make sure that you don’t go too fast.” Jaebum backed up pressing the bag on the bed waiting for you.

Nodding your hands gripped at the hems of your shirt, you put on your best pouty lips and innocent gaze that wasn’t hard to obtain after weeks of practice so that you could get what you want. But within that innocent gaze you couldn’t help but turn it a bit seductive because they knew you were a sexual minx when you wanted to be. Your hands pulled up your shirt slowly and you threw it behind you, revealing your smooth skin and wild hair that was starting to get fucked up. Your hands moved up to unclip the back of your bra and you took it off slowly letting it fall. Hands gripping at your plump breast you played with him, letting your fingers flick against your nipples setting off Hoseok. He strode towards you yanking your hands down before he got in your face looking at you.

“Who allowed you to touch yourself huh? Huh?” He asked reaching one hand around to slap your ass cheeks, gasps and moans sliding from your lips as your heart thudded against your chest and you shook your head.

“N-no one. I’m sorry daddy.” You pouted pressing your hands on his chest as he slapped your ass cheeks again causing them to sound off. He smirked nodding he moved behind you looking over at Jaebum breathing against your ear he whispered.

“Continue. And if you touch yourself, well you don’t get to cum.” He whispered licking the shell of your ear slowly.

You nodded your head letting your hands move to your shorts, unsnapping the button you undid them, your hand sliding them down, Hoseok pushed at your back making you bend over for him, he moaned seeing the black lace hug your ass, the little bow above your crack making his dick jump in the confines of his boxers. He pulled your panties harshly to pull your body back against him, grinding his hips against your ass, he elicited moans from both of your lips, his hooded eyes staring down at you as he rasped out. “Jaebum.. Come get her.” He was afraid it would end too fast if he kept touching you. Jaebum had the more restraint surprisingly as he pulled you close to his body. He got down on his knees after you stood up, spreading your legs wide he kissed along your v-line looking up at you as his hands pulled down your panties slowly and off of you. He stood up going towards the bed, he opened the pink bag again having inspected it.

“She chose well Hoseok. But I think someone helped her.” He teased you pulling out a lavender collar that had rhinestones on it. He walked up to you pulling you forward with his finger under your chin he pressed his lips against yours, moaning against your lips he gave you a full-on kiss. His hands worked to wrap the collar around your neck, fastening the strap at the back of your head. Jaebum licked across your bottom lip as the kiss continued to get heated, but he pulled back to look at you nodding. “I think, we will definitely be getting you more of these.” He promised as he moved back only to grab at a leash that you picked out, it was black sleek and simple. He pushed it through the clear loop pulling you to him, he kissed you more walking until he was backing up against the bed. He pushed you down gently on it smiling crookedly at you he tilted his head. “Against the headboard kitten.” You followed suit moving to lay with your back against the headboard and you loved seeing that they were pleased by the things you were doing.

Jaebum moved to grab the rope, going to stand with his feet by the bed, he moved to push you on your stomach tying your arms around your back by your elbows and down making sure it was sturdy before he lifted you to rest against the headboard again groaning at the sheer arousal seeping through his bones. He moved to grab at some more beige rope, tying them around your parted legs, he kept your thigs spread wide with the bottom of your thighs pressing against your calf muscles. He looked down at you, his finger inching forward and he was playing like he was about to touch your pussy only to pull away with a sly smirk on his lips. “Not yet.” He moved to lay on the bed, on his stomach, his hands caressing under your ass cheeks gently. Licking his lips, he watched your whole clench and unclench, your needy state coming out quickly but he loved it. Leaning down he licked against your ass hole slowly. Around the rim, tasting you for the first time ever. His wet tongue pressing against you lewdly until he felt he had teased enough, that was Hoseok’s job. Jaebum pushed his thick tongue into you slowly stretching you out, his eyes basking in the sight before him, your mouth hanging open and flustered state as you watched him tongue fuck your ass. You were so tight and he could only imagine what it would be like to fuck you with his dick. How you would grip on him, maybe moan a bit too louder. A shudder raked through his body and he continued to let his tongue wiggle in and out of you slowly dipping deep until he felt he had coated you with his tongue enough. He pulled back reaching in the back to grab at a clear butt plug that had the ends shaped like a heart with a blue gem in the middle of it. Licking on it slowly he watched you as his tongue lathered up the toy in spit, he pulled it from his plump lips only to push it inside of your tight ring of muscle, his lips finding yours once again to distract from the pain he knew you would. He pushed until the plug was settled inside of you, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he deepened the kiss. He let his tongue flick and play with yours until he was sucking on your tongue rolling it around his and pulling it into his mouth. Your little whimpers for him made Hoseok stare in awe, of course he was slightly jealous and he wanted attention but he wouldn’t be greedy because well he enjoyed a good show.

Soon Jaebum was pulling back, staring down at you he moved off the bed smiling and tilting his head to the side, eyes roaming over to Hoseok who had off his shirt, revealing his defined abs and hardened bulge that was resting tightly confined in his pants. “She’s all yours.” Jaebum nodded moving to sit in a chair at your desk taking off his own shirt and pants swiftly not wanting to miss a moment of this.

“It seems the little teasing kitten is all bound up. Nowhere to run and hide. Well good for you, your daddy is here and he is going to pet this pretty little pussy until you’re all worked up. But don’t worry beautiful, I’ll pet you too.” He winked climbing between your legs, leaving your breath to escape your body as you watched him. He lifted his hands, which roamed your body ever so slowly. Eyes dancing on your face, Hoseok let his hands move everywhere, against your collarbones up and down your neck until he was pressing them against the valley of your breast and down in between and against your stomach. He got worse, letting his hands move against your breast but pulling back before he got to your nipples, his hands going to caress the insides of your thighs ever so close to your pussy only so that he could drag them away with his nails against your skin. Hoseok kept up this little teasing game and it was driving you mad. Your legs tightening up though you couldn’t go anywhere, your perky taught nipples were so hard that it hurt. You were whining frustrated with want every time that he was touching your body. It got worse when he added his mouth, pressing wet lewd kisses against your skin but avoiding your breast and pussy all together. “Aww, seems the pretty kitty is mad.” He cooed feigning sorry as he looked up at you letting his tongue flick against your bruised-up collarbone.

“Not my fault daddy doesn’t know how to handle this kitty.” You spat back at him not thinking straight just wanting to piss him off. Immediately your hair was being jerked back as Hoseok sucked harshly at your neck against your spot, nipping against it occasionally turning you into a screaming mess your eyes shut as you groaned wishing you could touch him.

“Now that wasn’t very nice.” He tsked at you, letting his tongue flick against your skin before he pulled back, causing your head to throb but it only made you wetter. “And look, you’re ruining your sheets when I haven’t even touched you yet.” He shook his head chuckling rummaging through your pink bag next to him, he took out a white vibrator smirking at he turned it on letting the head spin. He moved the toy forward until it was pressing on your soaked-out clit earning a high-pitched cry of pleasure from your lips as your body arched off the bed as much as it could. The high vibrations were pressing against your clit, pulling the wetness from your pussy. He smirked keeping it in place and you couldn’t hold his eye contact you had to look away to Jaebum, and if that wasn’t bad enough you could see him with his hard dick in hand stroking himself and lightly panting, a thin film of sweat covering his body as he moved his hand and bucked his hips up. His smothering eyes told you everything that you needed to know. Your eyes drift shut, your toes curled and you weren’t good at hiding that you were close to your orgasm because Hoseok caught on and moved the toy from your pussy earning louder protest cries from you as you opened your eyes. He growled slapping your pussy harshly with his left palm, how needy and submissive you looked was just too much for him. Pulling his hand back he spread your pussy lips open with two hands watching as your pussy clenched and unclenched along with your tight asshole that had the plug sucked deep into it. “Such greedy little holes this fucking pussy has. It seems your previous affairs couldn’t get the job done. If only I could help.” Hoseok whined pressing the toy back against your clit with his fingers from his free hand keeping your lips spread apart so that you could feel it better. Your hips jerked harshly, your mouth open as you took swallows of air, gulping and watching him. “If you cum, I’m going to punish you.” Hoseok warned as if what he was doing wasn’t punishment enough. He watched you feeling himself getting harder, it was hurting at this point and he wanted nothing more to do then to fuck you senseless.

“I can’t hold it.” You whimpered to him, your hands balling up into fist as tears started to brim your eyes. Your stomach tightened, and your breathing was becoming too fast for you to get enough breaths to let out your words.

“You know what I want.” Hoseok said sternly, his face drawing closer until his lips were inching from yours eyes baring into yours causing you to shut them. “Open them, open your eyes right now and tell me what I want.” Hoseok demanded. His voice barked orders and he moved the toy up and down your clit quickly causing your pussy to drip more, the vibrations were tearing you apart. Opening your eyes up you looked up at him moaning his name, trying to say what you needed without too many moans or it wouldn’t come out right.

“Hoseok ah~ Hose-daddy. Daddy please.” You started biting on your lip. “Daddy please, I’m so fucking wet and needy. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to tease you, to upset you I just wanted you to touch me more- I can’t hold it daddy! Please fuck please!” You shouted out and he gave you a smile the little relief you felt in your heart quickly died out when he took the toy away and shut it off licking it clean. But he didn’t finish you off he only reached a hand down after a few seconds to slap against your clit, and that one hit had you cumming and crying out against the headboard. Disbelief swam through you and how easy it was for him to touch you and turn you into a mess.

“Daddy forgives you. If you keep behaving like a good girl daddy promises he will make you cum. Now you have to get Jaebum off with your mouth, and if you do good I’ll fuck this little pretty pussy until your headboard is screaming as loud as you are. Would you like that?” Hoseok asked letting his fingers slide up and down your soaked slit before he was pushing his first two inside of you causing you to release more gasping noises and you gave a nod of your head. “Use your words kitten.” Hoseok cooed softly leaning down to flick his tongue against your slit. Your mouth dropped open, nodding your head, you felt your pussy clench around his fingers, wanting more than anything to feel him hard and pressed deep inside of you, wanting to feel the sheer force of his hips slamming against yours.

“Y-yes daddy. Yes daddy I’ll be good. I’ll do anything. “You gave your word pouting as Hoseok pulled back to lick his lips and his fingers.

“My meal is so sweet. I must remember that when I just need a taste of something.” Hoseok winked as he pulled back from your body. Jaebum made his way over to you, his hard shaft throbbing as he watched Hoseok move you to brace on your knees. Your body was a mess, and he loved every bit of how the male teased you. He had been so on edge but he wanted to fuck your mouth first, he couldn’t cum without you getting him off in some form first. He played through your soft locks with his large hands, soon he was opening your mouth up, using his dick and he pushed it past your plump lips. Watching as your eyes stare up at him, how you took him into your mouth.

“Who would’ve ever known you looked so fucking sexy with my dick in your mouth kitten. Do you want daddy’s milk?” He teased cheekily wiggling his eyebrows. Biting on his bottom lip he grabbed at your hair with one hand the other moving down to slap at your plump ass cheeks watching them bounce as your hips bucked forward. He let you control the pace at first, seeing as how you were enjoying it. And you were enjoying it, your mouth had watered as you looked at his size along. You knew that he would stretch you out, that it would burn to have his tip pressing against your throat. He was thick and his veins your tongue loved to play with, tracing up and down every inch of flesh that you could fit in your mouth. The corners of your mouth started to bead up with your saliva but you didn’t care because his moans and groans as he petted your head was enough to make you want to do anything. You had been so caught up in him, you didn’t hear the rustling of clothes as Hoseok undressed. He aligned his tip with the opening of your pussy and he pushed in slowly gasping as your pussy took him in. You choked back a moan around Jaebum’s shaft and he snapped his hips harshly against your face causing you to gag lightly and look up at him.

“I think I’ve found my new favorite sound. Kitten gagging on my dick like the fucking little slut she is. Do you like being filled up with our dicks hmm? Do you like the fact that both of your holes are filled? And guess what?” Jaebum added as he tilted his head stopping his movement so that Hoseok could bury himself to the hilt inside of your tight pussy. Your vice like grip had him shaking and ready to cum all ready but he had to hold it. “Both of your holes will have white in them.” Jaebum winked and you let out a muffled cry in response squeezing around Hoseok who couldn’t help but snap his hips forward harshly. Fucking you from behind was his greatest pleasure, you were so wet it was easy to slide in. Pussy making squelching noises as he pounded into you. His hands first gripping at your hips to lift your ass more since you couldn’t move. He was loving how it jiggled and bounced against his hips one hand moving down to slap the plump cheeks until he was sure his hand print was going to be on your ass for a while.

Your whole body was on fire, your pussy continued to release wetness for Hoseok, his ass slapping had made you a whimpering mess, and with Jaebum face fucking you all that you could do was stay in the position you were put in and take it. Your hands balled up from the pleasure, the feeling of the large dick inside of your pussy molding against your insides pulling and pushing in and out of your pussy with everything. Hoseok was making it hard for you to focus on flicking your tongue up and down the underside of Jaebum’s dick. He watched you through hooded eyes, your own lust filled eyes dropping some as the spit ran down your parted jaws. Hoseok was letting his speed get erratic but before he came he pulled back to let himself rest. Jaebum felt himself getting back towards his peek, but he didn’t want to cum without you so pulling away he let you catch some breath as both males switched positions.

Hoseok wasted no time, sliding his dick back into your mouth and you took it moaning his name as you watched him. He was almost where Jaebum was when it came to girth and length so taking him down your throat was a task as well. Your tongue swirled around the tip of his dick and you lapped eagerly at his slit until he was squirming, the overstimulation causing him to push himself deeper into your mouth. You worked your tongue on Hoseok, letting your mouth hollow as you sucked harshly against his shaft. Your nose touching the base of his dick every time he slid deeper into your mouth. Because he was so close to cumming while he was fucking your pussy, it didn’t take long for Hoseok to be spilling his warm seed into your mouth. You grimaced slightly, not liking nor hating the taste but you sucked at him, cleaning him off and swallowing around him. He pulled from your lips slowly watching as his half-erected dick slipped from your wet swollen lips.

“My turn.” Jaebum called out, picking you up by your waist Jaebum pressed his back against the headboard letting your back rest against his chest. He lifted your hips aligning you with his dick that was standing proud and tall. He used his hips to circle slightly at your opening smirking because he could feel your wetness drip onto him and that caused him to shudder and guide you down onto his dick. He stretched you out, and your head rolled back as you took him in, once you were sure he was shoved inside your loosening pussy, you squeezed around him winding your hips to ride him without letting him pull back. You could hear the heavy breathing from the male under you as he held you up, your feet on his knees with your bound legs still spread wide. Hoseok watched the scene in front of him and he crawled between the both of your parted legs to latch his lips onto your breast finally.

Jaebum started to slide you down onto his dick slowly but he made sure that you were taking all of him each time that he thrust his hips up inside of you. He kept the pace for a bit, hearing the sucking noises that Hoseok was making with your breast he didn’t want to fuck you too hard until he felt like you were ready.

“Do you like that baby? Do you like feeling daddy’s dick all buried inside of this tight needy pussy. You clench around me like you’ve needed this dick. You should’ve told me. I’m always happy to tear down walls.” Jaebum mumbled against your ear kissing it. He pulled out of you only to snap his hips up against yours earning a loud cry. Smirking he kept this up, even pausing your hips to keep you from moving (to resist the little movement you had anyway) and he fucked you harder. Your whole body was being pleasured and you could feel that your orgasm was going to come through you at any time. Your hands pressed against Jaebum’s lower stomach, your head rolled sideways so that you could watch Hoseok play and mark on your breast. Between the two boys you didn’t know who to moan for so you ended up moaning both of their names because to you it was better that way. Hoseok reached down with one hand letting his fingers dance against your wet throbbing clit. With Jaebum holding you still he could easily rub you until you were screaming out gibberish warning that you were close. “That’s right baby. Cum for us. Cum for your daddies.” Jaebum said sharply feeling his own orgasm press against you. He needed to get you off, so he focused on anything else that he could besides how good you felt, and how tight you were wrapping around him as he bounced you.

“Holy shit! Jaebum~ Ah shit Hoseok!” You were proud in your fuzzy mind that you managed to get both names past your chapped and bruised lips as you let your orgasm sweep through you. Your essence sliding out and onto Jaebum’s shaft and that did it, with only a few more quick shallow thrusts you felt him slamming up against you causing his cum to shoot up into your insides. He held you close. His hips were jerking harshly but in a few more movements he let himself slow down his thrusts to ride out your orgasms together holding you close. Hoseok smirked leaning down he licked up at your clit, pulling back to watch the cum seep from your abused pussy. Hoseok got off the bed moving to get wipes for both you and Jaebum who were nothing more than a panting pair on the bed.

Jaebum pulled out of you, and he helped Hoseok clean you up and untie you. Your body still shaking and glowing from the orgasm you lay on your stomach trying to regain your senses. Both males came to lay on either side of you, holding you close the covers were thrown over your exhausted body and you shut your eyes with a light smirk on your lips happy that your planned worked.

“I hope you continue to smile in your slip, because as soon as you wake up, round two starts and I can’t wait until kitten is screaming again.” Hoseok purred causing you to open your eyes wide. He smirked and pecked your lips before shutting his own eyes earning a chuckle from Jaebum.

“That’s what you get for keeping us waiting after we found you playing with yourself multiple times.” You were so horrified and terrified that if you said anything it led to instant punishment so instead you played it off and shut your eyes hoping that sleep would come soon and stay around.

“Benjamin felt a nose nuzzling at his shoulder. He looked round. It was Clover. Her old eyes looked dimmer than ever. Without saying anything she tugged gently at his mane and led him round to the end of the big barn, where the Seven Commandments were written. For a minute or two they stood gazing at the tarred wall with its white lettering.

‘My sight is failing,’ she said finally. 'Even when I was young I could not have read what was written there. But it appears to me that that wall looks different. Are the Seven Commandments the same as they used to be, Benjamin?’

For once Benjamin consented to break his rule, and he read out to her what was written on the wall. There was nothing there now except a single Commandment. It ran: ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL BUT SOME ANIMALS ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS.”

-George Orwell, Animal Farm

anonymous asked:

hc: when dick's really stressed he will literally last on an hour or two of sleep a night and neglect to eat like, real meals. i know ur as much of a sucker for dick grayson fluff as i am, i just love the idea of his sibs being like "youre so stupid how are you still alive, even tim eats power bars before patrol and catches catnaps when he's not working on something, why are you like this"

Anonymous asked:  “It’s okay. I’m used to it.” with Dick please?

So, sorry I took a few days to get to this headcanon. I kind of ended up turning into a 3k+ story. Hope that’s okay. Also, this is more hurt/comfort than angst, I think. There’s some fluff right there in the middle, too.

Thanks to @timdrakeothy, because without you, I don’t know if I would have had the inspiration to continue this story. I was very stuck, and you helped out without even knowing it. So thanks!

Also, thank for 500 followers (it’s almost 600 now, but I meant to get a milestone fic out ages ago when I hit 500)!


Tim freezes, because he’d thought he’d just heard—that’s Dick’s voice coming from down the hallway. Which means that Dick is still awake. At four in the morning. After rough patrol that had lasted hours longer than usual.

Well, that doesn’t spell anything good, Tim thinks, and he creeps down the hallway to peek into Dick’s bedroom through the small crack letting soft light spill into the hallway. Tim spots Dick immediately, and he’s lying on the floor, one hand covering his eyes and the other holding his phone to his ear.

“No,” Dick says vehemently, but he’s really still and tense. He sounds exhausted, though, and his next words come out much softer than that first one. “No. I’m fine. Don’t—No, Wally. It’s okay. I’m used to it.”

Dick goes silent, and Tim imagines that Wally’s talking up a storm, even at four am. But then—

“Just—chill, Wally,” Dick says into the phone. “If you don’t stop yelling at me, I’m going to hang up. And then if you still want to yell at me you’ll have to find a way into the manor without Bruce finding out. So just—No. No.”

There’s a pause, and Tim thinks that he should probably start moving. This doesn’t sound like a conversation he wants to be in the middle of. He’s just about to creep down the hallway again towards his original destination—the kitchen, where he’d accidentally left his laptop—when another bedroom door opens from behind him. Tim turns around just as Damian storms out, stomping down the hall towards Tim.

“What is going on?” Damian hisses, doing that thing where he thinks he’s the boss of everything and Tim is obligated to answer him. But he looks—well. He looks kind of concerned, actually, and this is Dick.

“He and Wally are arguing about something,” Tim says, nodding towards Dick’s bedroom, where Dick’s conversation had turned up a couple of notches. “I don’t think he’s tried to sleep tonight, yet, either.”

Keep reading

You saw everything ugly in me that I desperately tried to hide from you. All my flaws and annoying outbursts. My depression. The huge black, rotting hole in my heart that I tired to paint over with kindness and love but every time the despair proved to be too strong. I tried to tell you, and warn you before my stupid heart wrote your name on its walls, carved it in its floors and spread it in the air. But you fought everything I told you. How I was not made to be loved goddammit yet you said otherwise. And my silly little heart believed you. You gave it false hope. You gave it something to cling to then you tore it away! Smiling while you did it. Giving cold hearted a whole new meaning. You left it in a pit. Snatching all the happiness from the few things that made it happy. Now it just bleeds your name, over and over again
—  iilahi
Don’t Deny It ~Freaky February~ (C.G)

Prompt: Carl gets jealous because he thinks you like Ron.

Pairing: Carl x Reader

Word Count: 455

Warning: None

Keep reading

  • [Marinette and Adrien are backed against a wall, surrounded by Hawk Moth and all his Akumas, including Lady Wifi and Antibug; Adrien has in his hand both of the most powerful Miraculouses, having been able to recover them from Hawk Moth, but they are completely discharged and Tikki and Plagg no longer have the strength to activate the transformations]
  • Marinette: Adrien, what's happened?
  • Adrien: Hawk Moth cheated.
  • Hawk Moth: CHEATED!? (To his Akumas) Hold on a minute! (To Adrien) Oh, grow up. What do you think this is? A game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
  • Adrien: Because you cheated?
  • Hawk Moth: NO! Not because I cheated! Because I'm a GENIUS. And you're just a kid. (laughs) A stupid kid! (Hawk Moth and his Akumas laugh hysterically)
  • Adrien: I guess you're right, Hawk. I am just a kid.
  • Hawk Moth: Of course I'm right. Now my Akumas take the Miraculouses from them and...
  • Adrien: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past two years. And if I've learned anything during that time, It's that you are who you are.
  • Hawk Moth: Exactly. Now...!
  • Adrien: And no amount of Miraculous magic... [Turns to Tikki and Plagg] ...or unrequited love (turns to Marinette) ... or who knows what else... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
  • Hawk Moth: Very moving. Now, get back against the wall.
  • Adrien: [over a microphone] But that's okay!
  • Hawk Moth: Now what?
  • Adrien: Because I did what everyone said a kid couldn't do. I protected my friends! I defeated all your Akumas. And Paris was always saved thanks to us!
  • Hawk Moth: All right, we get the point.
  • Adrien: So, yeah, I'm a kid. (The two Miraculous in his hands are intensely illuminating) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And the worst comedian ever!!!
  • Hawk Moth: (sees the Miraculouses) What... what's happening!?
  • Adrien: But most of all, I'm...
  • Hawk Moth: Calm...
  • Adrien: I'm...
  • Hawk Moth: Take it easy...
  • Adrien: I'M...
  • Hawk Moth: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?
  • [BIG BLACK & RED EXPLOSION]
  • Supreme!Chat Noir: I'M CHAT NOIR!!! ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— a fragment | (m)

• pairing: kim seokjin x reader, warlock! seokjin
• genre/warnings: supernatural, smut, some type of fluff, angst
• words: 22,361
→ summary: Who’s the mysterious guy that’s just appeared in your life and plagued your dreams? He’s been showing up ever since your “friends” convinced you to do a ouija board in the old, creepy house that looks over your town. Your brain tells you to be afraid of him, but your heart tells you something different… Why aren’t you scared of him? You’re intrigued by the handsome stranger, and you want to get to know him better…even if it proves fatal…or eternal

Keep reading

2

happy birthday to my beloved shinomiyas and kurusus !! i’m so glad i could get this done in time since i missed drawing them last year !!

also on my pixiv & twitter

Waterside Jealousy

“Hiiii can you write someone where Shawn and his girlfriend are at the beach? Just kissing swimming laying around some guys watch her and Shawn realizes getting jealous watching the sunset just a little bit of everything 😩🔥😊”

A/N: finally an actual request yay. I tried to stay as close to what was requested, but i lowkey got carried away oOPs. thanks to the person who requested this u da real mvp, also thanks for 300+ notes on keep quiet???? that makes me feel more confident oh my god????
Rating: whatever is the opposite of PG bc this some fluff y'all
Requested? yeah

Word Count: 1K+


Summer was coming too close to an end and I don’t think my heart was taking it well. Although I favored autumn more, I was still enjoying soaking up the sunlight and sand between my toes every time I walked the beach. It was the reason I found myself sprawled out over a mandala wall mural that doubled as a beach blanket.

We’d been here since 11 AM, when the sun was high as ever, shining its happiness over every passerby on the land. It was 4:30PM now. I’d swam, basking in the salty waters, almost all damn day. I’d look like a raisin had I swam any longer. Shawn on the other hand, was having the time of his life. Him, Brian, and Ian were a few yards down, tossing a frisbee around and screaming like, well, exactly what they were, a bunch of boys. It was nice to watch him relax and just spend a little time to enjoy. Taking the time to observe him, I felt comfortable, at peace.

“You came to the beach…to read?” Shawn drawls, laying himself on the other half of my towel, resting his head on his hand. He turns on his side to meet my shielded eyes and raised eyebrows.

“What happened to somethin’ about never judging my decisions?” I barely paid him mind as I flipped over to the next chapter of my book.

Shawn chuckles, drawing delicate lines and shapes across my lower back. “Not judging, just…observing.”

“Well, yes I did. Now stop observing me, it’s weird.” I hum, pressing my bookmark in between the pages and shutting it.
“It’s not weird, it should be a compliment. Isn’t that the type of thing girls usually like? Guys noticing the little things?”
“Yes, but that’s-Oh my god, Shawn-That’s not what we mean.” I laughed, leaving a quick kiss on his lips, feeling the curve of a smile make a short appearance.

“Come enjoy the water, eat some ice cream, hug a dolphin; Do something entertaining,Y/N..” I flick a bit sand towards him, watching him nearly fall onto his back attempting to avoid it. I try and stifle a laugh but fail drastically.

“I love you.” He sighs contently, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I scoot into his side. His arms hangs over my shoulders like the sun in sky, giving me a sense of warmth and contentment. “I love you more.” Moments like these were the important ones.
There’s 24 hours in a day. 24 hours to take the long way home, beat world records, get a new dog, learn a new recipe. The possibilities given to us in just a single day, is amazing. It’s a time to go on adventures and live every moment like it’s the last, or spend it the way you like best, no matter how simple that is.

Sitting here, in Shawn’s arms, listening to the waves crash into the shoreline, hearing the joyful laughter of kids running along the beach, a random song on the radio blasting all over the form of nature was one of my favorite ways to spend it. The location didn’t matter as much as who I was with. As long as he was at my side, I could have a good time no matter what.

I glance up, finding Shawn’s gaze solid as rock and set on something behind me. His jaw locked tight, chest heaving, fists clenched, told me that his anger was anything but tameable as of now. “What’s going on, babe?” A voice whistles behind me and I have to hold back the vomit I feel resting in my throat.
“Nothing with you, clearly.” I snap, pulling my sunglasses up into my hair.
“Wow, you’re even hotter without glasses on.” He snickered, crouching down to be eye level with me.God, this guy was sickening.
“It’s apparent that regardless of whether you wore them or not, you’d still be unappealing.”
“Ooh, fiesty.”
“Judging by your lack of respect, you must get turned down often, huh?” Shawn sneers beside me. I press my hand into his chest, knowing he’ll crack and break this guy’s skull at any given moment if he keeps pushing.
“Don’t talk about yourself like that, Lover Boy.”
“Says the guy who can’t ever get a girl. I’m sure you on the ones who’re evidently taken and far too out of your league.”
“It’s kind of obvious, he doesn’t have to go searching for women ‘cause he has the best one, isn’t it?” A slight smile rested itself on my lips. I think I loved when Shawn got sassy more than any other part. It was an amusing occurrence. It became even better when we did it together.

“So if you don’t mind, my girlfriend and I have something to do. Why don’t you go find your fucking mom and let her teach you how to approach a woman, yeah?”
“She’s not even all that anyways.” He huffs, standing back on his feet.
“But you were just trying to get me. Don’t be an emasculate asshole.” I didn’t bother resisting my urge to laugh as the guy stomped off bruised ego and all. His foot was completely emerged in sand with every step he took. He nearly slipped twice and it made it even funnier watching him faceplant the ground after the third time.
“I could’ve punched his goddamn face in.” He mumbles, his fingertips dancing along my backside. I press my finger against his cheek, taking his gaze off the douchebag that now walked out of view. His lips meet my own and a hum of appreciation from Shawn is swallowed between my lips.
“He’s not worth it, babe. Don’t even waste the time being upset. He’s not you so I don’t care.” In seconds, that breathtaking smile of his was plastered right back where it belongs.“Did I tell you how much I love you?”
“You may have mentioned it once or twice?” I grin, laying my head across his lap.
“Alright, clearly I’m doing a bad job at something.”

💀 Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines Starters 💀
  • “Every time I yank a jawbone from a skull and ram it into an eye socket, I know I’m building a better future.”
  • “Where’s the fun without complications?”
  • “The moon is a mysterious mistress, who walks the night with demons of dread.”
  • “A cross? Pfft… Stick it up their asses!”
  • “You’re a big bad vampire. Hey, great, congrats. Now keep it to yourself.”
  • “Scoop out their eyes and replace them with cherry bombs?”
  • “Death’s shadow will fall on you if you look deeper into its eyes.”
  • “Spaghetti and corpses, boss.”
  • “I’m only as long as my libido.”
  • “Weapons never solved any problems. I’ll take twelve.”
  • “No, no more questions! Everytime I talk to you I just wanna smack you! It’s like talking to a brick wall you wanna take down with a sledge hammer!”
  • “You look familiar. Were you ever on a milk carton?”
  • “I’m the finger down your spine when all the lights are out. I’m the name on all the men’s room walls. When I pout, the whole world tries to make me smile. And everyone always wants to know, who… is… that?”
  • “Police don’t have any suspects at this time, but they’re pretty sure that it was you.”
  • “What all suede kittens do… on hands and knees, you lap up the milk of me… and we purr, kitten, like dragonflies buzzing around frog bellies.”
  • “Call me old fashioned, but I don’t believe in talking about that stuff in front of a woman.” “Call me old fashioned, but I believe a knee to the balls tends to make a guy talk.”
  • “I’m a mighty thesaurus! Rawr!”
  • “Real terror is not the sight of death, it is the fear of death. What is the fear of death? Terror of the unknown. Is it these eyes you peer into? No, I am not the unknown. You an I are closer kin than you and it were.”
  • “What a scene, man! Hoo-wee! Then they just plop ya out here like a naked baby in the woods!”
  • “I will invade this orifice.”
  • “Each minor problem like a grain of sand, each night I inherit the desert.”
  • “True power lies not in wealth but in the things it affords you.”
  • “I suddenly have the desire to walk down that dark and foreboding alley over there! …Care to join me?”
  • “Come here, I wanna whisper something in your ear - FUCK OFF!”
  • “Oh man, we’re poppin’ a cherry here! Ha ha ha! Ah, you’re gonna love this! Alright, check it out. Blood: it’s your new rack o’ lamb, your new champagne - blood’s your new fuckin’ heroin, kid.”
  • “Keep your friends close and your enemies in a barbecue pit.”
  • “Those of you sitting in the first few rows will get wet.”
  • “Put your ear to it - I’ll shake it and you tell me what you think’s inside.”
  • “Close your mouth, chew on the resentment, and open your ears.”
  • “Are you undressing me with your eyes? Got a picture in your head? Good, that’s as close as you’re ever gonna come to seeing me naked.”
  • “Goddamn, why the hell does everyone tell me all this useless shit.”
  • “You’ve just made a powerful enemy, sign!”
  • “You made me feel that the world was not nearly as dark and desperate.”
  • “Normally I would ask you things like do you blow bubbles, and what’s your favorite color, but I’ve learned since then that it’s rude, so hi, how are you?“
  • “Do you rage against the machine?”
  • “Give you a massive chest wound? My pleasure!”
  • “Try the free arsenic…”
  • “Wow… bet you’re glad that thing didn’t have tentacles, huh?”
  • “And no killing.” “What, none?” “None.”
  • “All are blind whose eyes are closed.”
  • “And you worked all that out by sniffing around?” “Actually, there were two hunters on the roof of the building opposite the hotel who were positively delighted to tell me everything they knew– provided I stop dangling them headfirst over the side.”
  • “Ah yes, holy vampire hunters. ‘STAKIN’ FER JESUS!’”
  • “I’m hungry, let’s order a pizza.” “Order a pizza, ORDER A PIZZA? Where they gonna deliver it, numbnuts? Thirteen abandoned warehouse full of kill on sight hot heads way?”
  • “Even if my pants were on fire, I would NOT take them off in front of you.”
  • “You’re just telling me what I want to hear. Don’t stop.”
  • “It’s not that I don’t love walking into the heart of danger to curry favor with the local magistrate of the hour, but… actually, that’s exactly it.”
  • I can tell you and I are going to get along just like fire hoses. When we get turned on, there’s bound to be flames!
  • “’TNT’ and ‘key’ have the same amount of letters.”
  • “I’m bleedin’ all over the carpet, and I can’t even understand what the hell you’re saying.”
  • “Hey, these pages are all stuck together!” “Oh, um, I don’t know how that happened…”

Something else my boyfriend’s brother said last night was actually kind of upsetting. I can’t quote exactly but Ill do my best:

“[Discussing rise of pagan religions and declining Christianity in mainstream media] …all I’m saying is, as a white, straight, christian, conservative male, it feels like the walls are closing in on me”

Its just… So shitty? I don’t know even how to verbalize how I feel about this, but its just so shitty that the ruling class, the predominant culture that has oppressed and assimilated millions of people in the western world, having complete control over everything is trying to play the victim card now that other cultures are finally breaking the glass ceilings that have held them back for so long.

Do you know who’s walls closed in on them? The Native Americans who were forced out of their lands in an effort to accommodate for American Imperialism.

Do you know who’s walls closed in on them? Native Africans when they were ripped from their home country and shoved in cargo holds to promote American Industry.

Do you know who’s walls are closing in on them? American Muslims and American Jews who have seen dramatic increases in violent hate crimes, LGBT Americans who have to fight for basic cultural rights, Black Americans who are literally being gunned down in the streets while their executioners get off, victims of sexual assault who are being threatened into silence by the new healthcare bill- the walls are closing in in these people.

There is no white genocide, there is no war on Christianity, there is no heterophobia, simply attempts to express other lifestyles and worldviews, and an attempt to be free from hundreds of years of straight, white, and christian being considered the norm.