it's all in jpeg

this is one of the worst headlines ive ever read.absolutely cursed. hexed.lets start with the concept . a man jacked off (beat his meat. played with his trombone. rubbed the eiffel tower) in the middle of a theater while watching the film emoji movie. horrifying and reveals a lot about who this man really is. second of all the image of this man. its blurry, jpegged, and vertical. i feel like he’d enter my home and shatter my bones, killing me instantly. third of all, the fact the police are going to arrest this man for jacking off during the emoji movie. fourth of all there was witnesses. he didnt do this is an empty theater, no, he just spanked his little piggy in a crowded theater in front of people. completely surreal. he is a disgusting man with no standards but he’s also brave. anyway i fucking hate the emoji movie and the fear it brought with it

I tried to do a thing with Kara…

I asked a client for a jpeg. I received a word document and thought it might have been an error until I opened it. There in all its glory, was the requested image, pasted in, with the word “JPEG” typed underneath.