it's all a blur really



  • this kid is a sunshine literally can u see him as a vampire? BC YESSSSS I CAN SEE IT LMAO
  • i can see him being nervous about telling you that he’s a vampire i mean who doesnt get nervous ok
  • “uh… …im a vampire” “that was a nice joke” and he’d tell you that he is serious and youd distanced yourself from him for a while bc hOW IS THIS LITTLE BALL OF SUNSHINE IS A VAMPIRE???? ITS A PRANK RIGHT????
  • he’ll get all upset probably thinking youre ignoring him for the rest of his life but no youre not aND HE IS GONNA BE HIS HAPPY SELF AGAIN
  • “i thought youre gonna leave me bUT IM GLAD YOURE NOT”
  • will be careful around you bc sometimes he could lose his control bC HMM U SMELL SO GOOD CAN I BITE U
  • trying to sing random whistle notes at 6 in the morning why is he even up at 6
  • likes to lay his head on ur lap bc then youll play with his hair and he’ll slowly fall asleep
  • one time he forgot to restock his needs and he accidentally pins u against a wall eyes so red and you can see his sharp teeth iTS KINDA SCARY BUT ALSO HOT WTF
  • but he’s trying to stop himself from biting you bc sUNSHINE
  • he’s gonna apologize so much i can see it bye
  • “lets get a puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!”
  • ended up getting a goldfish for some reason dont ask why
  • dealing with all the inside jokes he has with soonyoung seriously
  • seeing the legendary ‘hey hoshi hey dk’ live
  • halloween with seokmin????? WOULD BE REALLY WEIRD
  • like its all just gonna be a blur then you suddenly have a cat costume on while he has a dog one on
  • a lot of hugs
  • a lot of cuddles
  • a lot of kisses
  • kissing seokmin would be vEry vERY NICE
  • like have u looked at those lips mhmhmhmmmmmmm 
  • his kisses would be soft ans sweet but sometimes it could get all hOT NONONONONON
  • he’s the type to cut you with a kiss when youre rambling abt something aw
  • ok would seokmin bite you????? he is a real life walking sunshine but i mean youll never know right… … … 
  • MAYBE HE WILL BITE U after so many ‘are u sure its ok’ ‘its ok’ convo and when he did ?????I CANT DOT IHSIHSISIJSIHSI
  • he’ll kiss the spot where he bites u and hold you close (even tho its a hard time for him bc he just wants to bite u again) and nuzzle his face in ur neck and probably sing to you too
  • seeing ‘his’ smile that everyone loves 24/7 goals
  • he’s gonna try and do all the cute things wiith you 
  • he’s also a sucker for you isnt that obvious i mean
  • making out with seokmin tho do i need to talk about it im crying
  • i can see him smirking while kissing you and probably laugh while doing it bc he thinks its funny oK BUT AT TIMES IT WILL BE HOT AS WELL WHY AM I TORTURING MYSELF
  • when he’s away theres gonna be a lot of selfies of him and soonyoung bc soonseok duh and also video of him dancing to their new song ‘youre the first one besides us who listened to this ok ur lucky’
  • cute voicemails im sure of it
  • “…. ..ah why am i rambling? im kinda nervous and im not even in front of you did you put some spell on me”
  • “… .. but anyway uh …. ….i miss you.. …like so much”
  • “and uh… …i love you.. ..”
  • text him and on the other side he is smiling like a fkin idiot bc he’s sO WHIPPED BYE


Family Photos

It all started in that little blue house in Flower Mound, Texas. My sister, Erica, had just gotten a new job at a local library after nearly two years of searching for one. She was finally a librarian! I was so damn proud of her. So of course I agreed to help her move into her new house, a house she had purchased herself.

The house itself was fairly small, only a two bed/two bath, but it was just enough space for Erica and her cat, Nona. It barely held all her books, though. Erica is—was—an unabashed bibliophile. She had a small library all her own, roughly 2,220 books, some quite rare. We had already got all her other crap into the house when we began to lug in boxes upon boxes of books. I told her every time we moved that I wouldn’t ever transport her books again. Yet somehow I always did.

It was just her and I for as long as I could remember. Our mom had lost her fight with ovarian cancer when I was four and Erica eight. Dad couldn’t take it; blew his brains all over the wall two years later. Yeah, it sucked growing up without parents, but it is what it is. Erica and I managed to survive, even thrive. We put each other through school. But we had never lived apart. So as we unpacked those volumes, it was hard to get a little sad, knowing that she would be here and I would be in our—my—apartment in Denton. It was only a twelve minute drive away, but it felt like she had moved to another planet. She was all I had, all I’d ever had.

“Hey,” she said, throwing a copy of the Divine Comedy at me, “wake up, boyo! We have books to unpack.”

“Yeah,” I replied, tearing tape from another box, “so many fucking books. This had better be the last time, sis.”

“It will!” she said enthusiastically as she placed books in no particular order on the black book cases. I knew she would put that them back in alphabetical order by author as soon as I left, so I just continued handing her the volumes I pulled from the boxes. While digging into one is when I found it: a picture of mom.

She was so beautiful. It was where Erica got it from. The picture was from right after I was born, mom in the hospital bed, me in her arms. She was staring down at me, a warm smile plastered onto her face. I couldn’t help it, staring at the photograph, unpacking my only remaining family. I started bawling my eyes out.

“Hey,” Erica soothed, “hey, what’s wrong?”

All I could do was hold up the picture as I slumped to the hardwood floor. She came and sat down next to me, put her tattooed arm around me.

“I remember that day,” she said. “Mom and dad pulled me out of school early and I got to hold you before anyone else.”

I just sat there, tears still spilling, as Erica talked about the day I was born, about how much mom had loved me. It was hard to remember her, what she smelled like, how she carried herself. I didn’t even try to most days. But that was going to change. Standing up, I slipped the photo into the back pocket of my jeans.

“No more crying,” I announced as I ripped open another box. “Let’s get you unpacked.”

It took another three hours to get all of her books shelved. Then another hour on top of that to get all the boxes broken down and stored in one of her new closets. The constant joking and picking at each other really didn’t help. But what else do you expect from siblings? Erica grabbed my arm before I could make it out the door.

“I’m going to miss you, Ben,” she whispered.

“I know, sis,” I replied. “I’m going to miss you too. And I’m keeping this picture of mom.”

“Good!” Erica answered before throwing her arms around me in a tight hug. “Now get home, before I make you help me organize those books.”

“Yes ma’am,” I laughed.

I was exhausted by the time I got home. I threw the photo on my entertainment center, making sure I could see my mother, before hitting the bed. It wasn’t ten minutes before I was out. I slept for eleven hours in jeans and shoes. Moving takes a lot of me.

When my slumber finally ended, I grabbed that photo. It had been so long since I had seen my mother that I just didn’t want to look away. I should have, should have torched that thing. I didn’t even notice the change at first, just thought that’s how it had looked the day before. But the posture was off. My mother was no longer looking down at the infantile me in her arms, but off the side, her glowing smile replaced with a look of concern, worry even.

I shook my head, thinking I was just tired. But the image stayed like that. Obviously this freaked me out. Pictures don’t change. I placed it back on the entertainment center and headed to take a shower.

Nothing beats a shower after a long night’s sleep. I felt so refreshed. That feeling quickly ran away when I looked at my entertainment center. Mom was staring at me, a look of panic on her face. There was no baby in her arms. I threw on some clothes and headed out the door, phone in hand.

“You’ve reached Erica. You know what to do.” She never answered her damn phone.

“Hey, sis. Do you remember that photo I took? Did you ever notice anything strange about it? Call me back.”

Voice-mails just suck. As bothersome as this photo of my dead mother was, I had to work, so I put it out of my mind. Erica would call me and tell me I was hallucinating, that living on my own was already taking its toll. That’s all this was.

Work was a blur. It really doesn’t matter what I do since I don’t do it anymore. I quit shortly after this incident, just couldn’t handle it. When I took my lunch break and finally got to check my phone, there was a text from Erica.

Come over tomorrow morning. We’ll talk about it then.

Cryptic and creepy; not exactly the answer I was looking for. But at least there would be an answer. I hurried through my shift, wanting desperately to be off. And like that, I was. The day was over and I headed home.

I was nervous, scared even of the photo. What if it had changed again? I checked it as soon as I got in, and it had. It was back to normal, my mother holding me, smiling down at me. Clearly I had just been tired the night before. At least that’s what I told myself. Sometimes I can be stupid.

Exhaustion hit me hard after the relief set in. I was just tired. Another good night’s sleep and I would forget all about changing photographs. I even laughed a little as I set the picture back on the entertainment center. Clothing and shoes came off this time and I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Dreams haunted my sleep, but I can’t remember them. That’s probably for the best. The only thing that stayed with me was a dull noise, like somebody hitting a door with a pillow. It was such a strange sound. I stretched and got out of bed, rejuvenated, ready to talk with Erica about a clear psychotic break. My foot hit something when I swung it from the bed. I stepped on a photograph.

My mother was in the foreground of the image, arms upraised, hands in fists. It looked like she had been pounding on the camera. Her mouth was open, saliva dripping from her chin. Her green eyes were wide, but not frightened. No, she looked wild, insane. Hungry. I quickly dressed and made my way outside, picture grasped firmly in my hand. The drive to Erica’s was uneventful aside from the maddeningly fast thumping of my heart.

I ran up the steps upon arrival, right up to the white door of her little blue house. It was open, not unlocked.

“Erica!” I called before making my way in. Nona greeted me in the living room, her usual white paws red. I picked her up and carried her into Erica’s bedroom. Erica was there, laying on the bed, a hole in her head. Blood coated the white wall. There was a little gun, the one dad used to own, resting on the comforter. I dropped the cat trying to stifle a scream. I couldn’t.

In that moment of anguish, I looked to the photo in my hand. Mom was crying, tears rolling down her face, her hands pressed against the boundaries of the picture, as if she had placed them on the lens of the camera.

I buried Erica today, just below dad, diagonal from mom. I hadn’t looked at the picture since finding the body. I put it in the drawer of my desk, not knowing how mom would look this time. I looked today, just after the funeral, before writing this. She was not alone. Erica sat on her bed, holding my mother’s hand. Both of them were smiling, their teeth stained red, like they just drank fruit punch. The baby—me—was nowhere to be seen. I don’t know what to do with the picture.

Read the original story by Reddit user dedgyz on /r/nosleep 

She's Connected to Him Pt. 3/3

 It took  you what felt like hours to realize you were awake, sitting up in the semi familiar bed. You finally blinked and the  new world came into focus. You examined the room: The sun dimming but still shinning through the window casting shadows over you, Stiles Sitting next to you with his head against the bed, the bedroom door closed but the shadows of feet slipped through the door crack. “Stiles.” You whispered. He didn’t move. “Hey..” You poked him causing him to shift and open his eyes. “oh..hey. You awake.” He smiled. “Yeah. For now.” You forced a laugh. “ You must be very confused. Im sorry.” He scrunched his face. “Its not your fault. I think. I don’t really know who’s fault it is. Probably mine.”  Then Lydia and Scott walked through the door. “Hey. How are you now?” Lydia asked and smiled. “ I don’t really remember what has happened. Its all just a blur, almost like i dreamt it.” You sat up. “Do you wanna know what happened?” Sties asked you. You thought about it for a minute. Did you want to know? Was it going to scare you? “I guess i should know.” You said as you shoved your messy hair behind your ear. “Okay, this is going to sound insane but just keep your mind open….the other night when you walked up to Stiles’s house, we were all trying to come up with a plan to keep this new alpha wolf…calm during the full moon…which is what i am too…a wolf. We had to hurry so we had no choice but to bring you so we did and when you decided to follow us into Derek’s place…who is also a walked in at the worst time possible and got…attacked and really killed. We all didn’t want to watch you die so..i bit you. Which would..or is..or maybe… turning you into a wolf too.” You starred blankly at him for what felt like hours. 

One hour later, after discussing the situation over and over, you were still trying to understand what was happening. “So I’m going to be a…werewolf..?” You asked. “Well thats the haven’t really shown any side effects of it.” Lydia said. “So I’m…going to die?” You asked again. “No..well.. you haven’t shown any side effects of that either.” Stiles added. “So if i continue to show no side effects..ill live?” You said in a hopeful tone. “Well. We don’t know, the only case we know of is Lydia but like i mentioned..shes a Banshee.” You put your head in your hands. “Don’t worry Y/N we will figure it out.” Stiles said while rubbing your back.

Hours later you were sitting on a metal table in a vets office. “Hello Y/N I’m Deaton. Im going to try to help figure out whats going on.”  You smiled feeling extremely awkward wearing a plaid shirt that was two sizes too big for you and stained sweatpants that both belonged to Stiles. “Hi.” you said with everyone in the room starring at you like you may pass out again.

After many questions of how you were, what you felt like, etc. you still hadn’t found any answers. “Ok so. She’s not a Banshee, she’s not going to die and it doesn’t seem like she’s turning into a wolf. There is a legend that your situation sounds a lot like. There was a male about 60 years ago who was bitten, he was about your age. He knew of werewolves and expected to be one, he wanted to be one. But even  days after being bitten he wasn’t turning. He was also was ….bonded to this girl. He loved her without meaning to. He lived for her. She didn’t even know him. She was a he saw once in his life. Well twice i guess, the first time and..the last. he had dreams of her every night and if was as if they lived a different life together in his head. He wasn’t crazy, he wasn’t losing his mind. It was just something that happens on rare occasions. He loved her, but he wanted to be a wolf. After years of trying to forget her he just couldn’t. Eventually the thought came into his mind that the only way to become a wolf was to destroy the one thing he felt was keeping him from what he wanted. He found her in two months later and…lets just say the next full moon he got what he wanted.” Everyone starred at Deaton. “So your saying…I’m in love without knowing it, and thats whats keeping me human?” You scoffed. “Im not in love.” You said. “You don’t have to be. You just have to have a deep connection with one person wether its your friend,sibling, anyone who you care about. Even if you don’t know why.” Deaton said. “Thats why…” Lydia whispered just loud enough for us to hear. “What?”  you said harshly. “Umm. Nothing i just.. i had a feeling about you. I knew you weren’t going to die or turn into to wolf.” She smiled as if she were hiding something. “What else Lydia. Your not telling me something.” She sighed. “I think i know who you are connected to..i had dreams about you and..Stiles.” You looked at Stiles and he looked at you. “I don’t think so.” you said and jumped off the table. You were about to walk out when you felt the urge to protect him. You jumped in front of Stiles. When you looked up Deaton was pointing a knife towards him. “Like  i may not know why.” You gasped. 

Later that night, after an awkward car ride to Lydia’s, you were both sitting on the couch eating sushi. “So…do you think you like him at all.” She asked. “Well. yeah i guess i always have had a thing for him. I mean he’s always asking me to partner with him in Biology and sits with me in the library but i never thought i would be bound to him!” You said dramatically. “Well its not like you liking him has anything to do with the bond. The bond doesn’t force you to like the person it just give you a connection to be there for each other. He’s bound to you too you know.” Lydia said. You sighed. 

It was 5am and you were still awake. You stare at the dark ceiling listening to Lydia breathing next to you. All you could think about was the past two days. The drama, the fear. And..Stiles. You knew you liked him, but now that you know you two were bonded to each other, you felt different. Maybe its a bad thing to be close to him, maybe you should stay away from each other, maybe its safer. You couldn’t make your mind up. “Ok. Just someone give me a sign.” You whispered to the night. DINGING. You got a text. STILES: come outside please.” You read.

You walked outside in a giant sweater. Stiles sat in his jeep with the passenger door open. “What are you doing its 5am.” You said as you got in. “Yeah but you were awake too weren’t you?” He said. “Yeah but that doesn’t mean i feel like going on an adventure at this time.” You said. “Hey.You were the one that got in my car, put your seatbelt on and shut the door.” He smiled, you rolled your eyes.

You guys drove to a beach, you figured since you were awake at this time you would watch the sunrise. You two sat on the hood of his jeep. “So. What do you think of all this bonded stuff?” You asked. “Well honestly.. i think its complete bullshit.” You felt your heart drop into your stomach. “I mean….why would he kill her to become a wolf. He was a selfish jerk.” You smiled. “Oh. I thought you meant,.. anyway yeah i agree with that.” You giggled. “But for the whole idea of it. I think its true.” He said. You looked up at him who was already looking at you. “So, i guess we are bound then.” You laughed. “I guess so. I mean i can see how it makes sense. I don’t know i felt like i was dying when i thought that you were.” He said as he took your hand. “Really?” You whispered without meaning to. “yeah.” He was getting closer and closer to you. “Stiles..” You said so close to him you could feel his warmth. “Yeah?” He whispered. “Im glad its you in bound to.” His reply was a kiss. The world felt like it finally fell into place, like it all felt safe for once. This world of fear and loss turned into something worth staying in. 

okay so day 1 of oz comic con was amazing!!!!! breaking up my panel recaps into a few posts so here is my recap of jason dohring's saturday ozcon panel!

Soooo firstly my friend and I got there at about 8:45am and it wasn’t meant to actually begin until 9am but obviously people had been lining up earlier so we ended up lining up for about an hour maybe to get inside, and then i lined up for another hour and a bit to get my token for my photo with arthur darvill(!!!!!!). i missed his morning autograph session but thats ok because tbh i was still semi asleep.

anyway so after i got my token i wandered around for a bit and then met up with my friend and we went to jason dohring’s panel. here is a quick recap of that in no particular order bc its all a bit of a blur:

  • he couldn’t really hear the questions so he just kept jumping off the stage to go to whoever had the mic
  • he sat on the coffee table instead of the couch to be closer to the fans :D and then occasionally sat on the edge of the stage and wandered around. very interactive with us!!
  • also if someone had a question but not a mic he just jumped off the stage and gave them his mic
  • he tended to get off topic from the questions possibly because he couldn’t hear them properly :P
  • he talked about ryan hansen and how recently jason took ryan to his aunt’s 40th birthday and by the end ryan had all the older ladies grinding and body rolling on the dance floor.
  • jason demonstrated these lovely dance moves for us. it was fabulous.
  • he didn’t know about kristen’s obsession with sloths but he thinks its hilarious
  • the mysteries of vmars were all very guarded and not even kristen knew the results. 
  • kyle gallner didn’t even know that his own character cassidy/beaver was the baddie at the end of season 2. he found out with the rest of them!!
  • jason’s favourite scenes were the detention scenes with weevil because he loves working with eli.
  • he really wants to be on game of thrones and he mentioned the dire wolves several times in the panel
  • his spirit animal would be a fox. someone called out ‘what does the fox say’ and he did a little dance from the music video which was adorable
  • logan’s spirit animal would be a wolf.
  • it was really easy to get back into logan’s character for the movie after so long because he really connects to and understands logan.
  • he’s glad that logan went into the navy because he needs some discipline in his life
  • that said, jason loves playing the ups and downs of logan with all the 'cliffs’ to fall off and then recover from. 
  • the scenes whee logan gets tortured were the hardest. he rehearsed a lot and thought it would look terrible, then he did the scene and thought it was terrible and then he watched it and it was 'okay’ :P
  • he loves chris lowell and piz. he just knows logan will always win haha.
  • the movie producers wanted to cut some piz scenes because he looked so sad but rob wanted the audience to see the hard decision veronica had to make
  • jason hasn’t read the veronica mars book yet but he wants to
  • he nearly watched the movie on the plane on the way here :P
  • apparently dax shepherd (kristen’s husband) is hilarious and if you put him with ryan they are hysterical together.
  • pranks wise no one really pulled pranks on jason on the vmars set probably because they thought he was too serious.
  • kristen sometimes put gladwrap over the toilet seats to prank people.
  • he thinks the veronica mars fandom is very special :)