This is an excerpt from “Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters.” It’s part of Peter Langman(Ph.D)’s case for Schizotypal Personality Disorder in Dylan. I think he makes a good case for it, but I neither agree nor disagree. Posting for info/speculative purposes.
Dylan also misused language by utilizing actual words in improper ways. This occurred most frequently with the word “halcyon”, which is generally used as an adjective meaning “calm” or “peaceful.” Dylan repeatedly misused the word, employing it in odd sentence structures. “We have proven to fate that we are the everything of purity & halcyon” and “all the imaginative halcyons & pure existences I have with her.”
Dylan’s third misuse of language was his odd sentence structure. Two flagrant examples occurred with his misuse of the word “me”: “me is a god” and “why is it that the zombies achieve something me wants?” His use of “me” instead of “I” in these sentences is markedly odd. It makes him sound as if he has regressed to being a toddler.
Besides his misuse of language, Dylan demonstrated other signs of disordered thinking, such as paranoia. Dylan wrote, “I swear - like I’m an outcast and everyone is conspiring against me.” A few months later, he wrote, “I have always been hated, by everyone and everything.” Two months after that entry, he wrote, “all people I ever might have loved have abandoned me, my parents piss me off and hate me.” On that same day he wrote, “I get screwed and destroyed by everything.” These comments are contradicted not only by other people but also by Dylan himself. In an earlier entry in his journal, he listed his “nice family” among the good things in his life. But in his ruminations, he became lost in feeling abandoned by everyone, hated by everyone, as if the world were against him.
A few days after he got caught for breaking into the van, Dylan wrote, “society is tightening its grip on me.” Assuming that this referred to his arrest, he seemed to view it not as a natural consequence for breaking the law but as part of his ongoing persecution by society. On the same day, he wrote “the zombies and their society band together and try to destroy what is superior.” “Zombies” was Dylan’s term for all the people he locoked down on, which was virtually everyone besides Eric and himself. He seemed to think that society was out ot get him.
Dylan also seemed convinced that God persecuted him. After complaining that he lost two objects (which he explained he later found) and losing $45, Dylan wrote: “Why the fuck is he being such an ASSHOLE??? (God, I guess, whoever is the being who controls shit). He’s fucking me over big time and it pisses me off.” Thus, Dylan attributed even trivial incidents to the malign intentions of some being who controlled his life.
Dylan was also detached from humanity in the sense of being split off from his own humanity. He wrote about himself as if a fundamental split had occurred between his human nature and his identity. This splitting of the self is one of the more bizzare aspects of his journal: “I wonder how/when I got so fucked up with my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Bennet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body.”
Here he wrote about himself in the third person, which suggests a detached perspective. In addition, the quote indicates a split between himself (Dylan Bennet Klebold) and some other entity that contains Dylan’s body. This strange, convoluted passage suggests that in his mind, he was not really himself - whatever that might mean. Later in that entry, he wrote, “I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned.” He is writing as if he is not Dylan - as if he had an existence apart from Dylan. This sense of a split self - a self “cast asunder” from its own humanity - is an ongoing theme for him.