it’s that time again, the time when I’m pissed off when everyone is nodding wisely about ‘greedy Dwarves’ and 'mad mindless Thorin’, or 'every twitch Thorin now does is just the gold sickness’, or how Thorin and his blindly loyal company fucked up everything for everyone. While completely ignoring how Bilbo fucked up for selfish reasons as well, or how the Men and Elves didn’t stop to think either, or even about how Elves and Men have a higher track record of fucking up due to greed
So I know that a lot of you think that when @gotham-ruaidh and I chat it’s a lot of conniving to see which of us can come up with fanfic plots that will make you cry more… And you would be right. For the most part we do spitball ideas and pass snippets of works in progress back and forth to kill each other with feels - we have to make sure they work, after all. But we do often find ourselves on hilarious tangents and this one from the other day was too funny not to share. (You’ll have to let us know how much you agree and how much is just that we share the same lame sense of humor)
We were - as you’ve probably guessed - discussing fics in progress and I made a comment about my appreciation for when Murtagh is bashful (I bet some of you already know where this is going) and my mind immediately made the Disney association and so @gotham-ruaidh and I spent the next… let’s just say it was only an hour, debating and assigning which of the Leoch Higlanders would be which of the seven dwarves.
The toughest role to assign was Grumpy, because there were so many viable candidates. Ultimately we decided that Colum was the grumpiest and most deserving of the designation. Once we knew that Colum was Grumpy, it became obvious that Dougal would have to be Dopey per Colum’s observation that
“I’ve heard it said often enough that a man’s brain stops workin’ when his cock’s standin’, and now I think maybe I believe it. […] If the brothers MacKenzie have but one cock and one brain between the two of them, then I’m glad of my half of the bargain!”
With those two dwarves assigned, the next few were more obvious. Ned is the only true candidate for Doc just as Rupert immediately leapt out for Happy. Despite the bashful Murtagh comment that started the conversation, Willie was a more bashful Bashful.
Though Angus had been a contender for Grumpy, he ultimately became our Sleepy - “Is that Spanish?” - which left only Sneezy. It was a tough rationalization but Murtagh is our Sneezy. Why? Because he’s generally quiet and innocuous but when he does get involved in something, it’s abrupt, forceful, and when it’s over you generally have the urge to bless him.
With the dwarves settled, the question became which of Jamie and Claire would be Snow White to the other’s Prince Charming? The verdict: they share the roles in this unorthodox production of the fairy tale. They definitely take turns saving one another within the text and there’s plenty of kissing on both sides.
And just like that, in the span of an hour we managed to turn the Leoch rent collecting party into a traveling production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves with marquee performances at Fort William and Wentworth where Black Jack Randall assumed the role of the Evil Queen.
(And now I’m wondering how long it will take for this to get photoshopped into a thing. Also, I found this conversation way funnier than I should have because Graham McTavish is a dwarf, just a Tolkien dwarf as opposed to a Disney one. Okay, I’m done now.)
This was a great Sunday afternoon. I got to finally play Belfort for the first time. It’s really interesting worker placement game and doesn’t really unfold its strategy to you until about half-way through. You’re elves and dwarves building a town, and you get points based on how many building in each section you control.
Then I got to play one of my all-time favorite games, Orléans. I can’t praise this game enough. It mixes deck building with worker placement and has a ton of ways to get points. Every turn you want to do everything, but you’re limited in choice based on the colored discs you draw. It looks like an intimidating Euro-barf of a game, but it’s incredibly elegant. Everyone I’ve ever played with loves it.
I also played Quantum and Can’t Stop, two other awesome games. The night before was Onitama, Tokaido, and Mission: Red Planet. It was a good weekend.