u kno in those kid shows where someone would swear n like a truck would pass beeping its horn so we would NEVER kno what they said? now that’s the tru mystery what did they say?? swears?? conversations abt yoghurt?? who knows
It had been thirty-four hours since you’d yelled at Jungkook and he had left your office. It had been thirty-four hours since you’d collected yourself after shattering your phone set into pieces and ran out of your office looking for him. Jaebum told you with a dejected frown that Jungkook had left. Where to? His guess was just as good as yours, if not worse.
You ran out to your car, the chill of the night air biting against your bare arms and cheeks, but you’d be lying if you said you felt it. You went at a crawl through the streets, stomping down on the brakes and squinting to make out the face of each and every pedestrian you past who resembled Jungkook in any way. You had even called out to a few of them, earning you nothing more than odd stares or blatant ignorance. You didn’t believe he could have gotten very far, but after two hours of driving, there was no sign of him.
The hospital’s visiting hours were long over, which cut that out as an option. And it took a persuasive conversation and a few slow swipes of your tongue across your painted lips to convince the security guard of Jungkook’s apartment building to tell you that no one had come in or out since six that night. He’d left your building much later than that.
You returned to the building, your jaw aching from hours of clenching your teeth and your eyes downcast, staring at nothing in particular. Jaebum greeted you, and before he could get the chance to ask you what had happened, you held your hand up to him. You were tired of questions, you were tired of explaining things. But, mostly, you just didn’t want to relive the truth of the matter–this was entirely your fault.
its so important to have disabled presence in children’s media, disabled kids grow up with really harmful messages about being burdens, ugly and unwanted and that needs to be challenged, we need to be showing disabled kids that they’re valued and amazing
like I remember a few years ago here in the UK, there was a disabled woman, Cerrie Burnell, who’s right arm ends a little past her elbow, who did some presenting on kids tv and parents wrote in and complained about her and said she was scary for children and shouldn’t be there because she was disabled
children are seen as being needed to be sheltered from the ~terrifying~ and ~horrifying~ reality of disabled people and that really hurts disabled kids and also massively contributes to adults hating and fearing disabled people since that’s what they were taught to do as kids
whether it’s disabled presenters or disabled characters, children’s media has to do more to acknowledge and celebrate disabled people
Steven Moffat surprised at 'fuss' over Doctor Who having gay companion
Doctor Who showrunner Steven Moffat was surprised about the “fuss” caused by the reveal that the Time Lord would have the show’s first openly gay companion in the new series.
Actress Pearl Mackie, who plays the Doctor’s latest sidekick Bill Potts, disclosed the detail about the character’s sexuality in an interview with BBC News last week.
LGBT characters have featured in the popular series before, including John Barrowman’s Captain Jack and River Song, but Bill will be the programme’s first openly gay permanent companion.
Doctor Who’s Peter Capaldi and Pearl Mackie (BBC/PA)
Talking at a screening of the first episode at London’s Ham Yard Hotel, Steven said: “When she did that interview we didn’t know there was going to be all of that fuss. And in a way, there shouldn’t be, that’s kind of nonsense.
“So, just to be clear, we are not expecting any kind of round of applause or pat on the back for that, that is the minimum level of representation you should have on television and the correct response should be, ‘What took you so long?’.”
Last April it was announced that Pearl would star alongside Peter Capaldi’s Doctor, replacing Jenna Coleman who played his previous companion Clara Oswald.
Steven chided the media for its reaction to the sexuality reveal as he referenced a group of schoolchildren sitting in the front row of the screening, saying the “fuss stops now”.
Pearl Mackie (Ray Burmiston/BBC/PA)
He said: “It is important we don’t make a big fuss of this in a children’s show that communicates directly with children, you don’t want young kids who regard themselves as normal and happen to fancy their own gender, we don’t want to make them feel as if they are some kind of special case.”
Jokingly, he added: “Because that’s frightening and journalists – it is not your job to frighten children – it is my job.”
The new series of Doctor Who, which is its tenth, will be Peter’s last in the lead role and Steven’s final stint at the helm of the sci-fi spectacular.
Steven took over Doctor Who in 2010 and during his tenure the show has grown into a global success.
He recruited the 11th and 12th Doctors in Matt Smith and Peter and also added Karen Gillan as companion Amy Pond and Jenna as Clara Oswald to the crew.
Steven Moffat, Jenna Coleman and Matt Smith (Chris Radburn/PA )
Steven said it had been an “amazing experience” to run the show, adding: “In terms of childhood wish fulfilment, I may have the record for the human race.”
Peter will make his final appearance as the Doctor in the 2017 Christmas special.
:: Doctor Who returns to BBC One on Saturday April 15, with the first episode of series 10, The Pilot.
back in august my cousins (10 and 12 respectively) mentioned they were watching steven universe. at the time they were up to beginning of the peridot redemption arc, and told me how excited they were to see the rest. we spent 20 minutes just talking about characters and fusion and how cool the world was. saw them again a couple of days ago. asked them if they’d caught up. they said they lost interest a few episodes after mr. greg
SU isnt just going downhill in the eyes of cynical adults on the internet. its losing kids interest too. the choppy release schedule, weird dips in plot and steven bombs and god-awful pacing is genuinely gonna kill the show if it doenst pick up soon. i wish more people would actually notice and try to make a change, but any time anyone tries to point out whats going wrong, its shut down and ignored. just.. dont blame us if it really does get canceled. this isnt a new problem
On Sept. 25, 1965, ABC debuted The Beatles, a 30-minute Saturday morning cartoon that became an instant ratings smash for the network. A few years before they all lived in a yellow submarine, the British rockers were first immortalized in animated glory, lending their music – but not their actual speaking voices – to the show.
The Fab Four hated the show at first, but later embraced its campy portrayal of the period when they still sported mop tops and suits. “I still get a blast out of watching the Beatles cartoons on TV,” John Lennon said in 1972.
“I always kind of liked [the cartoons],” George Harrison said in 1999. “They were so bad or silly that they were good, if you know what I mean. And I think the passage of time might make them more fun now.”
perfect is easily one of the most romantic ballads since thinking out loud and ed has even said that he views it an outperformance in comparison to thinking out loud, which is interesting in this context considering how relevant thinking out loud is to everyone who remembers what happened at the 2015 brit awards. it was quite an iconic moment and it’s something people still talk about, so it’s especially intriguing that the song perfect is directly connected to it and treated as somewhat of a sequel
it also happens to describe dan and phil’s history together from past to present very accurately
honestly, i don’t listen to ed sheeran’s music regularly and although the lyrics aren’t the deepest or the most unconventional, i’ve been itching to write down some thoughts
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
we’ll start right off with the first four lines in verse 1, which i believe are being sung from phil’s perspective (however, the perspectives are subjective and can change throughout the song) these lyrics mirror the start of dan and phil’s relationship. phil was generally more mature when him and dan first started talking, age wise and experience wise. phil could’ve technically been considered an adult while dan was still very young and inexperienced, hence why “Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead” is so fitting here. dan and phil were both very quick to love and didn’t think so much about the consequences of their decision to trust each other so quickly. phil quite literally invited dan to dive right in and follow his lead, professionally and personally. the last line can be used to describe just how unexpected it must’ve been for phil when dan came along. early on, dan’s main priority was waiting. waiting for phil’s responses on twitter. waiting for phil’s dm’s. waiting for phil’s texts. waiting for those 5 hour skype calls with phil. waiting to meet phil. only until later on did phil realize that dan was the someone for him
‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes, you’re holding mine
in the second half of verse 1, the first two lines once again touch on dan and phil’s maturity levels when they first met, referring to them as kids. they behaved as kids would, acting silly and goofy with each other and relishing in each other’s youth, savoring the honeymoon stage as much as they could. but with being a kid comes immaturity, and that side of them showed through some of their reckless behavior. they treaded on thin ice while not knowing what was beneath it as boundaries or limits really didn’t exist for them in the early days of their relationship
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight
this is where the tenses change and the song switches its focus on what is happening in the present, unlike the two verses in the song which seem to be reminiscing on the early days of a relationship. the first two lines of the chorus describe the bond that dan and phil have now and the moments that they share together. dancing in the dark in each other’s arms and listening to their favorite song implies that it could be a song that holds a special meaning for both of them specifically or a song that they are both able to connect to and enjoy together as best friends/lovers/etc because it reminds them of each other. the plural pronoun choice in that second line is accurate considering dan and phil share pretty much everything
Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I’ll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
the second line in this verse is probably the most important lines because the song directs its focus away from the present and jumps directly backwards into the past, treating the chorus almost like it was was a mere glimpse into the future. dan and phil quite literally shared each other’s dreams back in 2009, phil was a youtuber and dan was an aspiring one. and although they had no idea whether or not youtube would’ve become as massive of a platform as it is now, dan and phil still shared a lot of goals and also supported each other’s individual goals that the other might not have shared with them. so yes, technically they were still sharing each other’s dreams merely through mutual support regardless of whether or not both of them had those same exact dreams in mind. “I hope that someday I’ll share her home” is such a meaningful lyric because dan and phil never had any idea that they would’ve ever had the opportunity to move in with each other and change millions of people’s lives together. all they could hold onto at the time was hope. but that hope was so worth holding onto because now they’ve been sharing each other’s home for over 7 years, literally and metaphorically
the last two lines are pretty self explanatory. dan and phil know more about each other than anyone else does and some of the things that they feel comfortable sharing with each other are things that they wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. aside from secrets, they carry each other’s love, and even though they can’t literally “carry children,” they have created a family together. the meaning of family in this context is subjective, whether you want to consider it a family solely between the two of them or the family that they’ve made with their audience
We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we’ll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes
once again there’s another tense shift. the lyrics are insinuating that the present relationship still has much room for growth but has remained very genuine, which is also true in dan and phil’s case because they are visibly growing with each day that passes. they are growing professionally and personally and the amount of that growth, even just recently, has been astronomical. they see their futures intertwined and they truly are so in love
as for that second line, read it and really let it sink in… “Fighting against all odds.” if dan and phil have done anything in their goddamn lives, it’s fighting all goddamn odds. the odds of phil’s replies to dan on twitter leading to dm’s, the odds of those dm’s leading to 5 hour skype calls, the odds of those skype calls eventually leading dan to buy a train ticket to piccadilly station and actually meet up with this man whom he had met online, the odds of them taking the biggest risk of their professional lives and moving in together in the heart of london so they could pursue a radio show that they had no idea would either pay off or go down in flames, the odds of them actually creating this life together, helping each other through their sudden rise to fame? the odds of them actually having the opportunity to create such a unique community and change people’s lives for the better? what dan and phil have is not what society would deem conventional, but they have beat every normative agenda out there and have literally defied all odds. there were so many potential setbacks… there were so many things that could’ve gone wrong… but they didn’t.
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight
Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight
these last two choruses are very similar to chorus 1 with a few minor lyrical changes
chorus 3 is a lot more confident and hopeful of the future, much like dan and phil seem to be at this current point in time. the view that they have of their future seems to be filled with such good things, like moving and adopting a dog and whatever other “life things” they might have in mind. but i think the most important thing to consider here is that their futures are so tightly bound to each other, and they have nothing but tremendous faith in each other. whatever their futures may hold, it holds them together
now end this analysis with a visual of dan and phil curled up together in phil’s bed, reminiscing on how all of this happened and just how lucky they are to have ended up in this current moment with each other
i’m not saying anything but… perfect is the perfect song for them
if Aleinn Um Jólin was used in the actual show I think it would go something like this:
[Stephanie, staring out the window at Robbie, who is walking around in the snow-covered streets without even a coat on, shivering]
Sportacus: “What’s wrong, Stephanie?”
Stephanie: *sighs* “It’s just…sad, I guess, to see Robbie out there in the cold like that. Even if he WAS sneaking around, planning some kind of trick…No one deserves to be alone and cold on Christmas.”
Sportacus, nodding: “I’ll tell you something, Stephanie. There’s a saying, that my grandmother taught me…” [music begins, as Sportacus thinks] “Ah, how does one say it in English…”
Do you know what’s said of men, who often turn away
when they see a holiday light?
Do you know what’s said of men, who stand on their own?
That they most need a friend on Christmas
[Robbie, pacing and shivering]:
I’m no one’s friend, and I don’t care
though while I’m out here FREEZING, they’re HAPPY in there
I want peace and quiet on Christmas!
That’s why I’m alone…on Christmas
[Zoom in on Stephanie, brows furrowed at the window, singing softly]:
If it is true that dark turns to light and cold turns to warmth on Christmas Eve
Then is it so strange, that I think he could change?
If we help him find peace this Christmas
[Stephanie turns away while the instrumental continues, finding her uncle]
“Yes, my dear Stephanie?”
“Can we invite Robbie Rotten inside? He’s out there in the cold, and he’s not even wearing a jacket!”
“Oh goodness me! Yes, yes, bring him in!”
[Robbie, tearing his eyes away from the window, singing:]
What’s wrong with me? I’ve got to be
Sneaky and nasty and villainous ME!
I want peace and quiet on Christmas!
That’s why I’m alone…on Christmas
[Robbie starts walking away, dejectedly, but over his shoulder you see Stephanie opening the door]
Oh Robbie, please don’t be alone
[Robbie turns around as Milford joins her at the door, they sing together]
Please come to the warmth and the light of our home
[Everyone inside singing as Robbie smiles and walks toward them all]
Do you hear the bell? That means all is well? On Christmas
[There’s laughter and chatter as the kids pull Robbie into the house and show him all of their decorations that they’ve made. Sportacus is watching off to the side, leaning against the door, smiling fondly.]
Requests: “I’m really,really sorry I thought I was done honest but I saw the Kai gif thing and now fluff, cooking cupcakes with Kai for your little girls birthday party (yum cupcakes) Please and Thank you ~S” (Credits to gif owners!)
Kai’s daughter meant everything to him. From being a lost cause, to falling in love for the first time, learning how to control himself, getting married and having a daughter, she was his whole world. Its her birthday. Her fifth birthday to be exact which sort of came as a shock to Kai. He knew exactly how old she was going to be yet he couldn’t believe five years ago he didn’t know what to do in the hospital room.
He wasn’t exactly sure what to say, or how to hold her. Or how to react when he saw her face between the thick blankets for the first time. For so long he was confused with emotion, but he cried. He cried with the biggest smile on his face when he cradled her in his arms. He was wrapped around her finger ever since.
ok, so i just heard that the new dw girl bill potts is gay.
are you fuckin kidding me.
im actually furious over this, Steven moffatt you have absoloutely no right to do this to such a prestigious show as doctor who.
first off, I’m not mad at the fact she’s gay, I’m bi myself, and I fuckin love jack and ianto, this isn’t about that.
And it’s not about the fact that she’s black either, god, white, black, blue, idc.
no, the problem is,
YOU TOOK, ROSE TYLER, COPIED EVERY ASPECT OF HER, RUIENED HER, AND DRAGGED HER THROUGH THE FUCKIN DIRT.
you wanna take rose, transplant her personality into a copy cats body, but OH HEY GUYS ITS OK SHES GAY.
ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME.
YOU THINK YOU CAN QUEER BAIT US AND EVERYTHING IS FINE ?!
what about the fans who have been there from the VERY beginning, what about the fans who have been there since the second begining. WE FELL IN LOVE WITH ROSE & 10 and you are taking her, just copying her, repeating her like she didn’t mean shit.
SHE IS ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED CHARACTERS IN 50 YEARS OF THIS SHOW AND FANDOM, AND YOU JUST WANNA RE WRITE HER BECAUSE QUEER BAIT GETS LGBT VIEWS ?! SERIOUSLY ?!
“BUT ITS OK, BILLS GAY”
And like I said, this isn’t an attack on anyone bar Steven moffatt.
YOU WANNA MAKE A GAY CHARACTER, GO MAKE ANOTHER ONE, ANY OTHER ONE, YOU DONT RE - FUCKIN - WRITE HISTORY THAT THIS FANDOM CONSIDERS SACRED.
Steven has no fuckin right to do this to someone as important as rose tyler, let’s flip it, imagine if he did this to jack harkness, but made him straight and destroyed every flirty quirky part of his personality. “BUT HAY ITS OK HES STRAIGHT”
and i know im not the only one feeling this.
someone take this legacy the fuck off him.
STOP TRYING TO TURN DOCTOR WHO INTO AN AMERICAN BRAND FFS
And for the pièce de résistance, the ring. Kara, sweetest, it's like I said. I'm your one true love, your soulmate, your one true pairing as the kids say. My name is Mxyzptlk, and I love you Kara Zor-El.
Tell me, will you marry me?
*gives a disbelieving laugh*
*sings* I can show you the world-
Okay, Midichlorians, that's enough. This is not a Karaoke bar.
Oh. Yes, the mentor. *strands* Forgive me, my lady. I-
You are wasting your time. Kara is mine, so you can just run along back to Camelot or Avalon, or the Shire, or where ever it is you came from.
Madam, I am Mxyzptlk, a being from the fifth dimension.
Yes, yes, well, say hello to Buckaroo Banzai next time he passes through. Now shoo.
I see. I've offended you. You have my most sincere apologies. I see that I should have secured your permission-
You are not listening. Kara is mine. She promised me her complete devotion, and I do not share what is mine. Now, go away.
Miss Grant, be-
Not now, Kara.
She's given you her devotion as a student of course, but surely you can see that I'm here to seek her hand in marriage.
*rolling her eyes* I didn't say she was my student. I said she was mine.
*turns, and slips an arm around Kara's waist, pulling their bodies together, then lays a kiss on Kara's lips, bending forward and dipping Kara as if they're dancing while continuing to kiss her, drawing a long, deep moan of pleasure from Kara before standing them both up again.*
See? Mine. Now, run along.
I- see. My apologies. *vanishes*
*looks at Kara*
How do you get yourself into these situations.
I’m reading everything the creators/writers said about Korrasami (confirming the fact that’s it’s a canon pair), and honesty it gets my heart all warmed up with hope and happiness. One of them said “Just because two characters of the same sex appear in the same story, it should not preclude the possibility of a romance between them. No, not everyone is queer, but the other side of that coin is that not everyone is straight.”
Or “Korra and Asami fell in love. Where they friends? Yes, and they still are, but they also grew to have romantic feelings for each other.”
Those are beautiful words, that make you understand that even two people of the same sex can fall in love, and they are not afraid to put such thing in a kids show. Yes, it was tuned down, but they still did it. Just like the creators said “ I love how their relationship arc took its time, through kindness and caring.”
And that’s what I want between all my queer ships that have a beautiful dynamic and that can be canon. LGBT people are a real thing, they exist and they don’t deserve to be hidden in the shadows of straight people.
That’s why I have a hope that Klance (one of my fav OTPs) could be endgame. Making it a “slow burn” that lets us see how they fell in love, and how much they care about each other, trough time. That’s why I’ll be patient, and wait how things will go.
And if they don’t make it canon, well it could have been a real chance (but still Korrasami is canon, so it’s not really impossible for them to be the same).
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m writing fic again so hi, have some Klaine AU happenings based on The Bachelor!
Rated PG… for now. Butts later.
on, Blainey Squirt boy. It’ll be fun!”
grimaced as his older brother rambled into his ear over the phone. Every week
they tried to set up at least one time and day to chat and stay in touch with
each other’s lives, but Cooper, as always, had derailed that. It was six
o’clock on a Thursday morning—Blaine’s one day off this week.
I had a blast when I was on The Bachelorette. Made a lot of friends,
got to go all over the place on really fancy dates. It was great for my image, too. That’s how I got the recurring spot on The Young and the Restless. They’re
talking about making me a regular!”
they kill you off last month?”
not the point. Everyone comes back to life on those shows.”
THE BEST THING HAPPENED TO ME HAPPENED TODAY AND I’M STILL SCREAMING-
So I was in algebra and it was the end of class, so I asked my teacher how his weekend was. He said it was great and asked me how was mine, to which I responded with, “I binge-watched my favorite show. I watched like two seasons.”
I got really nervous because I’m worried about people knowing I watch it and kept darting around it. Eventually I just thought ‘Screw it’ and just said-
“Ah it was a Lego show…”
AND GUYS LEMME TELL YOU HIS EYES WIDENED AND HE FROZE UP AS HE ASKED ME, “Is it NINJAGO?”
AND MY HEART WANTED TO DIE HE KNEW HE WATCHES IT- I SAID YEAH AND HE SAID “NINJAGO’S AWESOME!!! I watch it with my kid all the time- He loves it!!!”
HE THEN STARTED TO NAME OFF THE CHARACTERS AND THIS OTHER STUFF ABOUT THE SHOW AND SAYS HE WANTS TO SHOW HIS KID NEXO KNIGHTS SINCE ITS ANOTHER LEGO SHOW AND HE THINKS HE’LL ENJOY IT AND I AGREED RIGHT AWAY THAT’S A GOOD ONE TOO-
AHHH I WANTED TO CRY MY TEACHERS KNOWS NINJAGO AND WATCHES IT- IM GONNA BUY THAT MAN A ZANE KEYCHAIN HE DESERVES IT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
BEST DAY EVER- My algebra teacher’s like 5'4, possibly nearing his late 30s, bald, very loud, talks really fast, and honestly is a bit scary since he can roast literally anyone he talks to but knowing that he watches it with his son makes me really happy.
Debunking Aleinn um Jolin... which I don’t wanna do but... stuff happened
Listen, I’m all for the whole Ithro/Glanni duet. You kidding, that was my Christmas last year and I cried in public by watching the music videos.
I was presented evidence from Chris (The guy from GetLazy — yeah, we’re still in contact) where its not Ithro singing with Glanni. I showed him what Stefan said and asked if this means he’s gonna change the details in the GetLazy Wiki. He was first skeptical (cuz why wouldn’t he) so he’s decided to go on a mission to see if it’s true.
This is basically what happened:
Then we both got confused:
A few days later, he debunked it.
Chris contacted Máni Svavarsson and asked who was Glanni singing in Aleinn um Jolin
and this was the response:
Apparently… it’s Glanni’s conscience? singing with him… not Ithro.
Kristján Kristjánsson IS SUPPOSED TO BE GLANNI’S CONSCIENCE!!!
Chris and I were talking about the idea of Ithro being ‘Glanni’s good side’ and he’s open to the idea. I mean Ithro is the most good person Glanni has ever interacted with so my theory is that… yeah, its not really a duet between Ithro and Glanni BUT… maybe Glanni’s good side is an image of Ithro… or something like that.
Either that or Robbie is just singing with himself… no ship. No duet.
But this information of Glanni possibly having a good side is something interesting to write about in fan fiction.
Well… cased closed I guess.
Anyone wanna debunk the theory so I can contact Chris again and have another hefty debate about it?
While Negan fancies the reader, she turns against him after the line-up and secretly begins to help Rick. Everything works fine till one day…
The cold lights in the hallways of the sanctuary flickered above you while you made your way to the hall as your thoughts circled around something. Around something Negan had done in that one night a few weeks ago. Hell, you knew that he did those things but you had never seen him doing it. How he went along the people sitting in line just waiting for him to kill one. His minute long monologue that still let a shiver run down your back. The moment his bat stopped before one man and finally crushed down on him. Negan’s chuckle before taunting the woman who had probably been that man’s girlfriend. The second kill, how the dying man talked to his sobbing wife before Negan bashed also his skull to mush. God you could understand their leader for threatening Negan and it made you feel deeply sorry as you saw him sobbing as Negan tested him with his own son. The thing between you and Negan had always been weird. He had have a thing for you from the first moment you had came here and since that day it had just become stronger. You weren’t one of his wives, nor a regular savior, he didn’t even make you do that ridiculous “I’m Negan” thing and points were something you didn’t have to care about even though you still worked. Of course, Negan was attractive and charming and over time you had build some attraction up to him but his deeds kept you far away from falling for him and the thing he did in that night hadn’t just asserted your doubts it had turned you against him and on someone else side. Rick’s. Every single week you brought something to them when the Saviors visited. They took something and you brought something back. Medicine, Food, sometimes even ammunition. You hadnt have to worry about the points all that costed, the only thing you had to worry about was to take that much that it didn’t attract attention. And to not attract that attention was also another thing needed. And that was still pretending in front of Negan as if that night hadnt changed something for you.
You walked through the hall, trying to find the stall with the things you needed or better, with the things the people in Alexandria needed. Your glance wandered over to one stall, a table covered with different things and some interesting things among them. You walked over to it, already seeing things that could be usefull. “Number”, the woman sitting behind it asked without looking at you before she turned around and her eyes began to glare slightly. “Oh right you don’t need points”, she said with an annoyed undertone. “So, what do you need?”, she asked still annoyed. “Just looking around, gonna tell you when I’ve found something”, you said, trying to sound somehow friendly. Of course you could get whatever you wanted to, but you still worked here and didn’t sit around the whole day doing nothing even though you could. You weren’t one of his wives. You looked at the things on the table, a few pallets with tablets laying onto it that attracted your attention. “I’ll take these”, you said grabbing the tablets before she grumpily nodded and you rushed out of the hall.
You made your way back to to your apartment while you opened your bag to let the tablets fall into it as you heard a way too familiar voice. “There she comes”, you heard Negan chuckling singing. You looked up feeling hot and cold mixing in your body as you hastily let the tablets fall into the bag while you saw him walking chuckling closer. “Shit you alright? You look as if someone shocked the hell outta you", Negan asked as he walked even closer before he took your hands and laid your arms around his neck before he slung his arms around your waist. “No you just caught me unexpected, everything is fine”, you said while he looked smirking at you. “Really? ‘Cause I think I just saw some fucking tablets slipping down in your bag”, he said raising his brows and nodding to your bag while your head worked at full speed trying find an answer. “Just had some headache the last days and wanted to make sure I have something in my room in case it comes back”, you said while you saw some concern in his eyes while he slowly nodded. “Alright, but you know that you can go to my Doc whenever some shit is off, right?”, he said still looking at you. “I know”, you said while he began to smirk slightly again. “If I wouldnt know that you’re that damn hard to get I’d suggest another way to get that damn headache once for all out of your head”, he said smirking at you while he chuckled as you huffed slightly but chuckled a bit with him. Yes, for him you still were the one who was hard to get. You couldn’t stand him for his misdeeds but at least he didn’t force you to do anything with him and that gave you a bit room to move and the security that you wouldn’t have to kiss him or even sleep with him to manipulate him. You didn’t do this before and he would have noticed if you would have suddenly thrown yourself at him and would have defer to all his flirting, so the the only thing you needed to do was being not too distant, playing a bit along and showing him a bit affection here and there. “We’re gonna go to Alexandria tomorrow, you gonna come with me again?”, he asked while his glance still didn’t leave your face. “Yeah”, you answered, glad that he was the one asking you. The less you had to ask for coming with him, the less he would notice why you actually wanted to Alexandria. “Fucking great”, he said grinning at you before he huffed slightly. ”Would fucking love to stand here longer with you but I gotta get some shit done”, Negan said scoffing before he looked back at you and smirked again. ”But tomorrow Darling, we got the whole damn day”, he muttered smirking while pulling you a little closer. ”I hope so”, you said with a slight grin while you actually hoped to be able to spend the least time possible close to him. Negan’s smirk mixed with a smile before he let go of you. ”See you tomorrow”, he said chuckling before he licked over his bottom lip, still looking at you before he turned around, swang Lucille over his shoulder and walked around he next corner. As soon as he was out of earshot you breathed relieved out, his touch had build up a tension in you and now that he was gone, it slowly washed out of your body. You swallowed before you walked back to your room, knowing that tomorrow would probably be a stressful day.
The sun slowly rose upon the horizon as the truck you sat in drove over the roads on its way to Alexandria. You fumbled on the fabric of the sack on your lap knowing that it should be empty just like the ones of the others, but it wasnt. Inside were the tablets from yesterday, a bit ammo and some more salves and medicine you collected over the last days. It was less then the most times, but you had to be cautious and couldnt take big things that would attract attention. And you couldnt get guns. Not because they were too big, a small handgun would also do its job, but these weapons were something that would blow your cover. They were way too fastidious kept record of to steal one of them, the only thing you could somehow get for Rick was the ammo and that was already hard enough. But as far as you knew they were able to collect some guns on runs over the last weeks and you were glad that you could at least somehow help them. You looked up and saw Negan turning from his passenger seat in the front around to you and a few of his men that sat with you in the back of the truck. “Gonna be there soon”, he said before his glance wandered over to you. “Can’t wait to see if we’ll find something fun there”, he said smirking as he winked at you before he turned slightly chuckling around. You drove for some more minutes until you heard the motor of the truck stop and you walked behind the other Saviors over to the door. As you finally stood at it you glanced down, only to see Negan holding his hand smirking up to you. “You know, I’m a gentleman, Sweetheart”, Negan said smirking while you took his hand and hopped out of the truck before you felt his hand laying onto your lower back. You still wanted to jolt up when you felt his touch, but held yourself back to pretend that you were comfortable with his closeness. ”Rick! fucking Rick, hope that you got some great ass shit for us”, you suddenly heard Negan call out, pulling his hand away from your back as he walked over to Rick. You looked around as you saw the sign of Alexandria once again. ”Mercy for the lost. Vengeance for the plunderers.” And every time you came here with the other Saviors, knowing that they’d take a whole lot of their stuff again, that motto let a shiver run down your back. ”(Y/N)? Come on we got stuff to do”, you heard Arat hiss as she walked past you and ripped you out of your thoughts. You walked inside and looked around trying to find one of them to give them somewhere here the stuff you collected. But before you could do that, you heard Negan walking over to you once again with a big smirk on his lips. ”Jesus, its fucking beautiful here”, Negan said while walking closer and slipping an arm around your waist. ”Can’t keep up with your beauty, but damn thats some greatass place”, he said looking around before not only you but also him saw someone. ”Kid”, Negan said pointing at Carl then showing him with his finger motion to come over. ”Would you show her the new fucking supplies your Daddy got? It really tickles my balls what new shit I get here! Almost like fucking Christmas!”, Negan shouted amused as he looked at the Saviors looked around. ”Yeah, I’ll show her”, growled Carl as he began to move towards one of the houses followed by you. ”Oh and Sweetheart? When you see something you like, fucking take it”, Negan said and winked at you as you turned around and just nodded. You followed Carl, knowing that he wouldnt take you to the supplies before you could get the stuff you had with you to a safe place. Every second you were with it out here, was a second you could get caught.
You walked into one house, stayed directly behind Carl while he walked up the stairs and lead you into a bedroom before he closed the door and turned around, knowing that now no one was able to hear you. ”How have you been?”, you asked while you began to pull out the stuff you brought with you. ”It’s getting better”, Carl said before you heard his voice raising again. ”Also because of you, thank you, really, not just from me, thank you from everyone, you’re a big help”, he said before you looked smiling up. ”Thats the least I can do”, you said while Carl smiled slightly at you. ”So I got you some medicine and ammo, hope I can get more the next time”, you said pulling out the last palette with tablets and began to get the things into a dresser, just in case someone Savior would get the idea to go through that house. ”Alright, I’m gonna show you our supplies now, just that Negan doesn’t get whiff of anything“, he said before walking down the stairs with you as you suddenly heard a loud voice. ”What the fucking shit is that crap here”, you heard Negan yell, his voice filled with anger. Your head snapped into the direction his voice came from before you walked hastily over to a window to see what was happening outside. ”Rick, are you fucking with me?! Shit what the fucking shit”, Negan screamed before you could see the reason for Negan’s anger. Ammunition, all the ammunition you had brought here over time, thorough stacked in front of him while you saw how other Saviors carried more to him. They shouldn’t have found it, but they did and now you just didn’t know what was going to happen. Your heart began to harshly pound against your chest as you saw the anger rising in Negan’s face. ”You push me Rick, you fucking push me”, Negan growled while you saw his grip around Lucille’s handle tighten. ”You collected and hid all that shit, all that damn fucking fuck shit?! I fucking thought that I made it clear in that one fucking night but I guess I was wrong. You’re even dumber than I thought Rick”, Negan growled and you could see from far how his eyes gleamed in anger. „Every single one of you fuckers comes here now!“, Negan yelled before you saw the people walking shocked towards Negan and Rick. „Shit“, you could just mumble before you saw Carl walking past you. „I cant leave them alone“, he said before he looked swallowing at you as he opened the door and walked outside, followed by you. „Darling, come over here, you wont believe what these dickheads did“, Negan said as soon as he saw you. You walked over to him, not knowing what to do as you saw the people looking swallowing at the ammo on the ground. „Tell me which one of you pricks gathered all that shit. And tell me now, or I’m gonna kill each one of you“, Negan yelled while you felt a cold shiver running down your back. Silence. Only silence while you saw the people around you trembling as the Saviors raised their guns to their heads. „I begin to lose my fucking patience and damn, you don’t want that to happen“, Negan growled as you realized that you needed to do something or all this would turn into a bloodbath. Your eyes met Carls who just shook his head seeing what you were about to do. ”It was me”, you suddenly said while Negan’s glance went irritated over to you. ”Sweetheart, thats not the fucking moment for jokes”, he said slightly chuckling before you swallowed and raised your voice again. ”I’m not joking Negan, it was me, I brought the ammo here”, you said determined even though your heart was hitting that hard against your chest now, that it felt like it would burst out of your ribcage in the next moments. You saw Negan’s glance changing as he realized that you said the truth, his eyes narrowed while you saw his jaw clenching. ”Every single one of them on their damn knees”, he growled while he turned around to the other saviors before he turned back to you. ”In that house. Now”, he growled with a way to calm and dangerous voice before you realized that this could be the only way to not make everything worse. You walked swallowing into the house while you could hear Negan’s heavy steps behind you until he walked past you into the living room. You looked at him, seeing him realizing more and more that all you had done with him in the last weeks, every single soft touch, every single nice word, every single smile had been played. He breathed heavily before he looked up to you and you saw the anger boiling over. “You’ve been betraying me? You’ve been fucking betraying me? After everything?!”, he asked yelling while you could see some pain between all the anger flinching in his eyes. But before you could answer he continued. “For how fucking long?!”, he yelled clenching his jaw. “After that night, that one night were you bashed their friends heads. I couldn’t get that out of my mind anymore”, you said tensed up. “I needed to! They killed an assload of my men!”, he called heavily breathing out before he punched the wall growling. “I fucking knew I shouldn’t have taken you there”, he growled to himself while he clenched his jaw harder. “It’s not just that night, it’s also the iron, all the other fucked up things you do”, you called out while you kept looking at him. “Punishment. Punishment is necessary”, he growled through gritted teeth. “No the only thing it is, is disgusting”, you growled back before he breathed heavily out. “Fucking fuck”, he growled running his hand through his hair still completely overpowered through what was happening in these moments. You knew that you hadn’t just hurt his pride or dignity with betraying him, you had hurt something worse and something that was surprising that it was actually still left in a cruel man like him. His feelings. He wouldn’t do anything to you, you knew that. But you weren’t sure what he would do now to the people outside. He looked up his glance still mixed with anger and pain while he clenched his jaw as his breath became heavier again and the anger heated up before he took Lucille and swung the bat over his shoulder. “Guess I gotta start all over again”, you heard him growl before he rushed past you as you gasped and you knew in these moments, that he the only thing on his mind right now was to hurt you as much as you had hurt him. “No Negan”, blustered out of you as you saw him turning dangerously chuckling around. “Oh Darling, be glad that I just bash one and not all of their fucking heads”, he said before his chuckle vanished and a cold mask laid all over his face as he stepped out of the door and you could see into the faces of the people kneeling in front of the house before the door shut. You felt a lump creating in your throat before you heard the first bloodcurdling screams that let shivers run down your back and urged tears into your eyes. One of them would die. One of them would be beaten to death just like their friends in this one night. One of them would have to feel all the pain Negan wanted them to feel. And all of them would lose another part of their family. Your hands balled into fists, your jaw clenched as you felt the sadness being overflowed by the anger that build up in you along with the determination that reached its highest point as you heard how the last loud sob turned silent. Everything in your head was muddled and torn except one single thought that stood irrevocable there and was the only thing you knew for sure:
One day they would rise up and there was no doubt that you’d be with them.