it's like a toxic relationship that i can't get out of

mean girls songs, some thoughts
  • a cautionary tale: basically the opening song of little shop of horrors / rocky horror picture show lampooned by veronica sawyer and that one tolerable theater dude from your high school
  • it roars: some pop culture references that'll make you cringe in ~5 years, ft. erika henningsen's excellent belting and 'o' vowels
  • where do you belong: the ultimate broadway-style parody with some seriously on-point high school archetypes and excellent use of the word "embouchure"
  • meet the plastics: AMAZING counterpoints between the three heath--uh, plastics. regina george can step on me, instance one. very gay gretchen literally calls regina her master. My :) name :) is :) karen :)
  • stupid with love: i want to dislike this relatively basic character, but this song is so goddamn adorable and she says "calculust" so i guess i'll root for her and her str8 crush
  • apex predator: the song veronica never got to sing about heather chandler. also, this metaphor is just a few ladder rungs below 'zootopia' in the furry-baiting department
  • what's wrong with me: gretchen settles for but simultaneously craves a toxic friendship/ relationship that degrades her appearance and character because she believes it's what she deserves
  • stupid with love reprise: ...shit
  • sexy: i support karen and i'm so proud of her for curing sex cancer in heels she can't walk in
  • someone gets hurt: regina george can step on me, instance two. this is like if evanescence and britney spears wrote a song for a bond villain. i'm gonna... i'm gonna need a minute.
  • revenge party: oh, god. o h my god. this song is the boppest of the bops. this has the same amount of chaotic earworm energy as 'sincerely me' from dear evan hansen, if not more. janis' weird infomercial background music when they're planning. the fucking tango music interlude. (and ugly crying.) REGINA REGINA REGINA. cady joining in on the last verse. iiiiiIIIIT'S A REVEEEEE--
  • fearless: kind of forgettable, BUT! regina george can step on me, instance three!
  • stop: the song i'd play for someone who's never listened to the show. damien and janis are hilarious, the beauty and the beast anecdote is awesome ("because BASIC"), and in the actual show, karen pauses after her verse and says, "hey, but maybe guys should also be told not to request or spread those pictures?" e a t a c r a c k e r a n d s t o p
  • what's wrong with me reprise: mrs. george and gretchen should both go to therapy, but in the meantime this is pretty sweet
  • whose house is this?: obligatory out of control rager song from teen musical. i'm honestly glad gretchen is having a good time.
  • more is better: cady gets hammered and says some DUMB SHIT
  • someone gets hurt reprise: it's ffIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--
  • world burn: regina george can grind me to sand with her louboutin heel and i'd thank her (four) also taylor louderman is the queen of character voice and riffing like a madwoman
  • i'd rather be me: poetry. perfection. kind of sounds like paramore??
  • do this thing: "a box lunch will be provided, WHAT?" also, i'm diggin the bongos in this orchestration
  • i see stars: cute. not super memorable, but a cute ending. references michelle obama's 'when they go low, we go high' speech!!

the walking dead is so infuriating to watch they have so many opportunities to kill negan and they literally never capitalize them! why do they always allow him to go on these 5 minute long obnoxious performative speeches fuck just shoot his ass already i’m not mentally prepared to put up with this shit for another whole ass season 

Let’s talk about Loki’s redemption arc.

First of all, there are going to be major SPOILERS for Infinity war, so if you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend you to not read that. With that settled let’s get started.

Originally posted by lokihiddleston

I could talk about the beginning of this movie for hours because even though Loki’s death is devastating for me as he’s my favorite marvel character of all time, the emotional context of this scene and how it settles the tone of the movie is perfect, and let me explain why.

The movie begins with marvel intro, but without any sound and presents “MARVEL STUD10S” on black screen, followed by asgardian’s ship pleas for help “there are children, families” I remember that in the theater it made a huge impression on me, how it genuinely shocked me, simply because it has never been done in a marvel movie before and to be honest, I was expecting a loud marvel theme followed by big fight scene/calm dialogue introducing us to the plot. And instead we are from the very beginning thrown into middle of a scene directly following the Thor Ragnarok post-credit scene with Thor and Loki looking out of the window and seeing Thanos’ ship.

Similar to Avengers, the very first minutes establishes how dangerous Thanos actually is and what are we exactly facing. He destroys asgardian refugee ship and kills asgardians themselves and then exists the place with the Tesseract - very much like Loki did in Avengers, by killing SHIELD’s agents, destroying their base and taking the Tesseract.

With that in out minds let’s talk about what exactly Loki’s death serves in case of building plot. First of all, it of course completes Loki’s personal redemption arc. (Yes, I’d still prefer him alive, but let’s just accept it for a moment for a sake of explaining why in my opinion they did that and why it was a very good way to establish plot). I believe that Loki was kind of grey-zone character ever since the Thor The Dark World when he helps Thor in his own way (even though he tricks him at the end). After IW I’m pretty confident to say that Loki really didn’t have any choice in whether or not he wanted to attack Earth, but pushing that aside he still had the toxic relationship with his brother, he still was full of hatred and he saw people as something not even close to himself (very much like Thor at the begging of the first Thor movie for me). The really redeeming act for him is in my opinion the scene in Thor Ragnarok when he returns to Asgard “Your savior is here”.

He is hurt by Thor’s words about “different paths” and I believe he truly came back to prove himself to his brother. He’s finally met with acceptation he’d never really experienced - “You came back” - “Of course I did” and Thor’s “You’re late” showing us that he believed in Loki all this time. And back to Infinity War. I think that at this point, the begging of that movie Loki is already redeemed. He doesn’t have to prove anything, but at the last moment he wants to. We see him clutching to the uncaring mask he created and finally, finally the mask being crushed when he tries to look at Thanos killing his brother but he just can’t - “Alright, stop!”.

And then for me, the biggest thing, which made me hold my breath in the theater. “We have the Hulk” THIS.

Originally posted by pitch-black-dark

For a little while he actually joins the Avengers, becomes the real hero. The reversed role of Loki saying this to the villain after being told the exact same thing when HE was the villain. And I’m not sure what to think about him so recklessly trying to kill Thanos with little knife, but trying not to think that it’s just cheap way to get rid of him, I have a theory. Why would he try to do that in the first place? Why would he not think of the better plan but do something so stupid and basically suicidal? Because of sentiment. The only thing he tried to run from all his life, and when he finally lets it into his life it turns out to be the end of him. Always running form emotions (him arguing with Thor in the first Avengers - “YOUR father”, “Sentiment”). So when he acts like that, I think deep down he knows that it’s practicality suicidal mision, but at this point he would do anything for his brother, even die.

So returning to the main plot, Thanos by killing Loki (former Avengers antagonist) not only establishes his power, but also completes the Avengers movies story, showing us their villain literally crushed by Thanos and that until this moment? We had no idea how REAL dangers looks like and we are about to find out really soon.

Hands down.

anonymous asked:

Hi!~ I was wondering if you could write a Jamie Lannister x reader (maybe set in season 4 after he returns to King's Landing? I don't know) where he realizes that his relationship with Cersei is toxic and that she's just manipulating him but can't help falling for her every time, so he goes to the reader (that he finds perfect) and have a breakdown about it? And tells the reader that he really wants to love her but can't? Pure angst. Sorry if it's too detailed and for my ugly english. Thank you!

Pairing: Jaime Lannister x Reader ; Jaime Lannister x Cersei Lannister
Fandom: GoT ; ASoIaF
Warnings: pure angst. seriously.

Summary: Jaime has to make a difficult choice that will affect the rest of his life. Hearts will be broken. And not just his own.

A/N: it took ages, but here’s a new jaime story! yaaaay! unfortunately it’s not a happy one, but hey, angst is good too right? lol. hope you like it and thank you for your request hun! (ps: your english is not bad at all <333)

                                                          *****

Two women.

Two women that meant more to Jaime than anyone else in the world.

One was his twin sister, that he shouldn’t love the way he did. He yearned for her, but at the same time, his conscience told him that what they did wasn’t right.

The other, you. The daughter of an influential and wealthy man living in King’s Landing. Jaime met you some time ago, even before Joffrey had been crowned king.

You were everything that Cersei was not. Kind, young, gentle, loving..

How could he be attracted to both her and you, even though you were so different?

A question he had asked himself more than once.. especially now.

Keep reading

things people submit
  • Aries: I get so frustrated when people waste my time taking their time. Like "let's get a move on people, there's only so many hours the sun is out!!"
  • Taurus: I hate how I love routine to the point where Im not able to leave a toxic relationship. My stubbornness wont let me give up on someone I love even though I know they are no good for me.
  • Gemini: There's a distinctive flaw in my personality - it's ever changing. I can't even decide what style I want to wear. One day I'll wear all black and the next I'll wear flower crowns and floral clothes. My personality changes like my dress sense does.
  • Cancer: It's true that we are very sensitive, but we can keep our emotions for us without showing anyone. It's weird because we always try to show our toughness but yet people say we are sweet and kind but when we are alone we can count on just our strength, yet often I wish people didn't confuse our kindness with weakness.
  • Leo: I am constantly in need of attention. Not only from my boyfriend, but from all of my friends. I crave people falling in love with me. Nothing is more devastating to me than being a second choice.
  • Virgo: I'm really needy I wilt without attention from my close friends but I feel like I'm bothering everyone when I want to talk about my problems because I'm so used to doing the helping. Then I feel selfish for wanting help in return.
  • Libra: A lot of people tell me Im pretty and forget my intelligence. I feel like ppl care more about the physical than whats inside. Ive been told many times that ppl were surprised Im also smart because I look pretty. That depresses me.
  • Scorpio: I find that I like to have control of things, so I often take the place as the leader of the group, and when I am not I have very strong opinions on things and express them without a filter, and often take the place as a co-leader, I also find that it is easy to tell people what to do.
  • Sagittarius: It's true clingy people do annoy me. If you bother to stop me from having fun I will immediately drop my smile and give you the scariest death stare you've ever scene. Stop me from exploring places where adventure lies ahead and you'll be next on my kill list.
  • Capricorn: I come off as aloof, cold and shy when in reality I'm just at peace, observing. I'm afraid this trait of mine will push people away and that they find me boring, arrogant or stuck up. I want love but I'm afraid of vulnerability.
  • Aquarius: I don't like people that don't know how to keep a conversation going it annoys me on a level that is extreme because if ur awkward then I'm gonna get awkward and there's gonna be a uncomfortable silence. No.
  • Pisces: I am constantly torn between everything in life. One day I think I want my life to be stable and become a normal upper middle class citizen then the next I want to run away to a strange place with nothing but a camera. It's this way with everything in my life.

anonymous asked:

Just wondering if you have thoughts on why klantis can't accept if their pairing does not become canon. I mean, even with other age-appropriate pairings like Allurance and Kallura, they can't seem to accept their existence. But the mere thought that their OTP may not happen in canon seems to be an almost existential fear for them, let alone a queer ship like Sheith. They'll all turn into pumpkins if klance isn't canon! Youth and ignorance of how fandom works, perhaps?

so this pressing need for Your Ship™ to be the Canon Ship™ isn’t a new or even unusual phenomenon … but I think it’s taking on a new fever-pitch in VLD fandom due to how social justice is misused these days.

  • factor 1: it could be canon

As long as I’ve been in fandom, I’ve spent most of that time shipping ships (if I shipped at all) pairings that had no chance of becoming canon: i.e. slash or femslash. 

there’s a weird security in that! If you’re shipping mlm/wlw in a show where they will never canonically date, much less be endgame, you don’t have to worry that they’ll have a bad breakup or - in general - much serious relationship drama. (most series that feature romance only have serious drama in the romantic relationships.) Their canon romantic pursuits make no difference because you already know your OTP was never going to be canon. and even if you could reach the creators with your feelings about a non-straight ship, slash/femslash fans were the Weird Ones back then; you didn’t talk about your ships with anyone but other transformative fandom members.

This is no longer the case. As LGBT+/queer people have gained more and more visibility, media representation has been more and more realistic to expect. Younger LGBT+/queer fandom members are especially ‘used’ to representation being a genuine possibility, and they consume media with that expectation in mind.  They even boldly inform the creators that they demand representation! (we’ve come a long way from the early 2000′s.)

  • factor 2: the meta of vld raises hopes higher

In the case of VLD, the creators have mentioned that they want to include queer representation. Of course that’s got a lot of us looking out for when it shows up. Also, some of the executive team staffed Korra - the animated show for teens that made the queer ship canon.

According to the executive directors of Korra, Korrasami confirmation was grafted onto the end of the series partially because of the fandom. Its popularity online seems to have been the spark that led to the final handholding scene. If that isn’t motivation enough to beg and plead and bang on the door of the vld staff in hopes they will fulfill every dream of non-straight shippers, what could be?

Making sure the staff knows that klance is the best engame, of course.

  • factor 3: fandom is an echo chamber filled with purity/‘social justice’ culture

without getting into it at length: a lot of factors have made tumblr a dangerously toxic environment where saying something that bullies don’t like is volunteering for public verbal slaughter and holding the party line is the best way to avoid trouble. and that party line is extreme and getting more extreme because the people who dictate the social rules of tumblr are the ones who are willing to punish anyone who steps out of line (ie bullies). this has turned tumblr into an echo chamber of people repeating whatever the loudest people say and dissenting voices are more likely to catch hell than get heard.

currently the ascendant fandom voices are ones that support purity culture - that is, content needs to be free of ‘bad’ or ‘corrupting’ content to be allowed to exist - especially because kids might see it and get corrupted. therefore, all ships need to be ‘pure’ to be allowed to exist.

The other ascendant voices are exclusionist voices. the more gay/lesbian a ship is, the better it is: in fact, it makes the ship even more pure. (all other kinds of queer representation matter less.)

this is how klantis came to exist: pro-klance antis who use purity/exclusionist standards to prove that klance is the most pure ship of all - and therefore is the one most allowed to exist. everything that competes with it is problematic or not as good representation somehow.

why does this matter? because vld is a kid’s show! if klance is the most pure and the most LGBT, that means it’s the one that has to be endgame.

and they have to prove this because vld fandom is neck deep in a ship war (that klance would lose based on traditional standards. adds that extra spicy desperation flavor.)

  • factor 4: there can only be one

klance fans who demand klance be canon endgame are not all that different from the average ship war soldier.

the most epic ship wars are almost always sparked by one thing: sharing a popular character. Harmony vs Harry/Ginny, Zutara vs Kataang, Wincest vs Destiel, MaKorra vs Korrasami - they all have one character caught between two ships with so many fans that a few of them on both sides were bound to be pants-on-fire wankers that can’t stand people having different opinions than them and existing. sheith vs klance is the same old song (or would be if social justice wasn’t the most popular bludgeon of choice, as noted above.)

the traditional weapon of ship wars has been ‘being more canon’, so most warring is done by close canon analysis, scrutinizing the words of the creators for hints of how it ends, etc. This unto itself isn’t ship warring, but it quickly gets personal for the pants-on-fire wanker types: they accuse fans of the ‘wrong’ ship of all sorts of horrible things … even in the old days these wars could get hideous. (VLD fandom is giving the HP fandom a run for its money in terms of Real Life Consequences for ship warring, but HP was pretty intense.)

Where both ships have the possibility of being canon endgame, the ship that is chosen by the creator to be the Happily Ever After ‘wins’. and because these ships share a character, only one pairing can ‘win’ (poly isn’t a likely canon endgame for a while yet, I’m afraid). and the overwhelming intensity of ship wars can often make the participants forget that any third endgame option exists.

so adding up the above factors, a lot of klance fans are experiencing a range of pressures:

  • queer/LGBT+ representation has been hinted at by the creators & is a realistic possibility in today’s political climate
  • some of the creative team has a history of making ships endgame in response to fannish support
  • they feel that klance is the best queer representation the series could provide because it’s ‘pure’ and also very clearly mlm rep
  • other non-straight/otherwise progressive ships threaten klance’s position as the only ship that can be the rep the creators hinted at, and they don’t want to ‘lose’

all of this together, I think, makes some klance shippers particularly urgent that klance be the series engame - in a way that might have been less intense a decade ago.

(and honestly the fact that they feel they can influence the ending by being loud enough is the worst part. I’m worried they’ll blame themselves if klance isn’t the ending romance, or feel that the creators ended with something else only to spite them.)

anonymous asked:

hi there!! I'm a younger writer (16) and I have a thing for romance novels. Yet, I've never been in love, so how do I write someone else being in love. Also, I can't visualize my story, or see my characters come to life. I know it's just TV but on Jane the Virgin she literally can see her story being played out in life, like a movie. I want that for my characters and stories, I just don't see it. It makes me feel less of a writer, is this normal? Or am I just not cut out for writing. Thank You!♥

Hello!

I’ll begin by giving you the advice I give everyone who wants to write about something they have never experienced:  listen to the people who have experienced it.  A lot.  

I don’t just mean romance novels.  I mean memoirs, nonfiction books, and essays about people in complicated, passionate romantic relationships and what it means to be in love (here’s a list of memoirs about love to get you started.)  Immerse yourself in the ugly and difficult aspects of romance, not just the exotic and exciting ones.  

I’m not talking about abusive or toxic relationships, either.  People who think relationships can only be interesting if they’re abusive to one or both parties are, in my humble opinion, boring as fuck.  

I’m talking about struggling to support a partner through their PTSD or anxiety, about loving someone through a depressive episode, through self-destructive tendencies.  About intimacy through small acts of consideration, like doing the chores your partner hates and making them their favorite dinner when you can tell they’ve had a bad day, instead of just grandiose displays of affection.  

Finally, write the characters before you write the romance.  Write about them and let their lives intertangle, and it will feel more dynamic and real than diving head-first into romance.  

For further reading, check out my posts on getting to know your characters and writing healthy relationships.

I hope this helps, and happy writing!  <3 

anonymous asked:

i'm the anon that @'d that other crappy emsider shipper. i'm going to say this really slowly, emsider. is. queer. erasure. Emsider shippers are homophobic and pretend not to be. emsider is toxic, ugly, borderline pedophilia, child abuse, child grooming. He. knew. her. as. a. child. THAT is wrong. It is wrong to take two queer characters and pair them in a stereotyped toxic het relationship. I can't WAIT for you to try to defend yourself on this.

Oh dear. Could someone please call an ambulance? Because this person just shot themselves in the foot. Twice.

(For the record, generally speaking, one only needs to “defend themselves” when an attack is incoming - and you’ll be lucky if I ever call your garbled rambling that.)

Now we’ve got that out of the way… first;

Queer erasure is pretending bi, ace, pan and others don’t exist. That’s queer erasure in its purest form. You, in every message you spew out into people’s inboxes, actively erase all these people.
Queer erasure is pretending only same-sex relationships “count”. 
Queer erasure is devaluing bisexual men and women by insisting that if they’re in a non-same-sex relationship, they’re lying heterosexuals. This is actually a pretty huge one. I’m shocked you’d even come out with something so commonly reviled in 2018.
Queer erasure is looking at an m/f couple and assuming they’re “toxic, ugly hets” because you can’t conceive of the idea that a trans man or trans woman might pass, and that - GASP - you might be wrong.
Queer erasure is being that douchebag at Pride whose only sense of pride that day comes from how forceful he is when he tells ace/bi/other people to fuck off. 
Queer erasure is denying queer individuals their right to live in a way that makes them happy; even if you, you ridiculous, selfish, queerphobic person, deem it “toxic het”. 

Queer fetishisation, on the other hand, is when queer (especially same-sex) relationships are held up as the epitome of perfection and are treated as if they are naturally superior to all other ways people can love someone else. The fact you think my relationship with my wife is inherently purer, better and more healthy than my parents’, friends and followers’ relationships doesn’t make me feel warm and fluffy inside. It makes me sick. The only queer erasure going on here is coming from you. You’re coming across, in all your messages, like a balls to the wall fujoshi who’s gone full screaming idiot mode because the checkout girl waylaid her soft boy fave while counting his change, and now her precious penises aren’t currently buried in another guys’ ass. My wife is an emsider shipper, and she regularly posts about Emily’s bisexual nature. Is she a disgusting, toxic, vile piece of heterosexual shit? I guess she must be, since according to your warped sense of logic, all emsiders are the exact same person. I wouldn’t deny that there might be some who’re homophobic. But if I’ve learned anything today, it’s that some emsider antis are goddamn queerphobes too lmao.

But, you knew I’d say that, didn’t you? That’s why, when you read my response to the misguided message you send to Michelle, you changed your argument and are now throwing the word “pedophile” around. So let’s get into that next, shall we?

It almost hurts me to type this, because I don’t think you’ve realised the hole you dug yourself into as soon as you made this, frankly, strained argument. 

He’s four thousand years old and omniscient, petal. He knew them all as kids. And if speaking to someone underage constitutes grooming, I guess we better start funneling government funding into the prison system, because there’s a hell of a lot of teachers who’ve been wildin for years. Media containing immortal or ancient characters has existed since just about ever. I wonder if you rail so hard against Twilight or Dracula or a shitload of ancient mythology? I’m guessing not. You’re free to be uncomfortable about this and anything else - you’re even free to try to shame others for not sharing your discomfort, and to imply they’re sex offenders - but we’re free to laugh at you for it and tell you you’re full of shit.

What you would have said, if you weren’t so blatantly biased and out for nothing but to hurt people you disagree with, is that all Outsider shippers are pedophiles. All emsider shippers are pedophiles. All corvosider shippers are pedophiles. Everyone who ever shipped Outsider with anyone… is a pedophile. Oops. If you’re going to make that argument, you need to come for all of us. Don’t half ass it, anon. You’re making yourself look desperate. If you’ve got something to say to the entire Dishonored fandom, either say it or go back to crawling around in the dirt, quietly hating anyone and everyone without knowing a damn thing about them. You are trying far too hard to pretend your anger at people liking what you don’t like is justifiable from a moral perspective. It isn’t. You’re not divine. 

Now, I’ve tried my best to teach you why no one pays attention to you - but judging by the spiteful, bullying tone of the messages you send, you don’t care about logic. You’re emotional because you’re being made to share your toys with the other children, and you’ll stamp your feet until you get your own way. So we’ll try some positive reinforcement, shall we? I always think that’s the best way to raise a kid.

You can come back for round two in my inbox, if you like. Hell, I can spar all day. But for every message you send me, I will post an emsider headcanon. For every message like this I catch you sending to others, I will post an emsider headcanon. For every time I catch you trying to bait corvosiders into doing your work for you, I will post an emsider headcanon. Maybe even a lil 500 word fic if I’m feeling flush. And if I mistake some other anon hater for you? Too bad. Actions have consequences, my friend.
Everyone in the tags, say hi to anon - and if anyone finds out who they are, do drop them a thank you note for all the content they’re going to generate for you. Now, I’m gonna tag this ask, and I’m gonna request that I get a hands-up from any emsider shipper who gives a shit what you think of them. I won’t delete it. Over the lifetime of this blog, let’s see how many hands we get. My guess is none.

Of course, if you start trying to pull the old one-two and turn your bile against corvosiders for their ~pedophilia~ (doubtful, as I’m getting a distinct fetishist vibe from you), I’ll do the same for them too. I will not take your pathetic example and base my opinion of all of them on it. Because, wouldn’t you know it. I don’t play favourites.

anonymous asked:

I've recently had many strangers come after me for being an eruri shipper, calling me a freak, a fetisher of gay relationships, a toxic person and more. (It's stupid, I know) When I pointed out to these people that I'm gay so how is it fetishism, it led to me being harassed for being queer too. These kind of messages won't stop and it's making me feel a darkness that I can't ignore. It makes me want to curl up and cease to exist. I'm sorry for bugging you I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hello, Anon. I’m terribly sorry that you’re dealing with this. It’s bullying and harassment, and at least you’ve already recognized it for the petty behavior that it is. 

Even if it may seem like the content of their insults is stupid, it can still feel overwhelming, and it’s natural to be upset by it. No one likes to be insulted, and no one feels good when their personal qualities or interests are mocked. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying things you like. The internet should be a place that lets people explore freely rather than a platform for spreading hate or targeting individuals. 

That being said, the internet makes it very easy for people to hide behind accounts that their name is not connected to and take pot shots. It makes it very easy to detach from empathy and get caught up in hate, even when a real person is on the other end.

The real question about this situation is- what can you do about it? I think that depends a bit on your personality and how you’d like to take things into your own hands. 

If looking at the messages makes you feel upset and hopeless, delete them.

If the platform on which you’re receiving hate has a way to stop these messaging, do it. Block users, block IPs, disable Anons, disable asks, etc. 

If continuing to be online and “rising above” them is important to you, take heart in walking that path.

If you need a break, take it. There’s nothing wrong with leaving this for another time when you’re feeling better able to deal with it. There are lots of other websites and pastimes that you can enjoy to take your mind off things.

If you want someone to talk to, tell your real-life friends or family. You can give them as much or little information as you like about the situation, but I’m sure they’ll offer encouragement and comfort. This can be really difficult, but the payoff is worthwhile.

If you know the harassers in real life please seek advise from a counselor or other professional who is trained and knows how to deal with bullying. I’m neither qualified nor comfortable giving advice to this scenario but it’s important to address it.

If you are experiencing what I’d call “mental injury” (persistent low mood, depression, weird sleep patterns, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts or urges for self-harm, etc.) please consider seeking help in real life. These kinds of things are serious (no matter the cause) and are best dealt with in a professional manner. 

Something to keep in mind is that this hate is *usually* not personal (if you don’t know your harasser). Someone is angry and they are misdirecting their anger and energy. They are making you the embodiment of things they don’t like and trying to tear you down instead of asking themselves why they don’t like this thing or trying to deal with their own issues.

Their hate does not make you any less. It does not diminish your worth as a human. It says nothing about you as a person.

But it says a lot about them.

Please do whatever you feel comfortable doing in order to address this. You have my support and the support of everyone who has ever been harassed online. There is nothing wrong with you and your feelings are valid because they are yours and yours alone.

anonymous asked:

Don't u feel an ounce of shame to have this title? It's kind of weird how u guys kiss SJMess ass when all she does it portray unhealthy relationships, describe gay characters as whores who can't be loyal to one individual, makes all poc tyrants or sidelines them and never let's another FEMALE be prettier or better than her main character. Everyone is either a slave to the main character or is a evil Queen, who rapes people. But u guys don't even have brains to figure that out :D

Originally posted by heckyeahreactiongifs

Okay so there’s a lot to unpack here.

First of all, yes, I am proud to have the title of sarah-bae-maas, because a good pun is a good pun, whether you like the author or not.

To address your second point about relationships, I think it’s important to note that yes, there are healthy and also toxic relationships in this book, but never relationships written in a way where we and the characters aren’t aware don’t know what it is. For example, we as the readers could see that Tamlin wasn’t good for Feyre, even if the character herself couldn’t yet. There aren’t any toxic/abusive relationships right now where we are in the series that are stanned/shipped etc. and I would love for you to give me an example of one that is. If you are talking about characters that aren’t in a romantic relationship, say the Archerson sisters, then you are correct. It is an unhealthy dynamic. But no one is it said, or even interpreted it, to be a healthy one. They are three woman trying to deal with severe mental health issues, and sometimes that leads to actions that are seen as unfavourable. But that, lovely anon, is realistic

Now, I would love an example of gay characters being referred to as whores. Because I can’t think of a single instance of when any of them are, with the exception of Rhys, Aedion and Lysandra. But again, our main characters have discussed how horrible such language is. I genuinely don’t know who you’re referring to. As of the ‘loyal’ part, I can only assume you are talking about Helion as he is the only character portrayed to have multiple sex partners at once. But again, I must emphasise that it is never frowned upon in the books. Any distaste that is coming from these examples is coming from no one but you. Can the representation be more thorough? Of course, it always can be in any book. But your points aren’t about that. In fact, your points aren’t really valid at all. 

As for POC tyrants, let’s take a look at our villains. We have the King of Hybern, a white male. We have Amarantha, a white female. We have Erawan, a white male. We have Maeve, a white female. Please, do tell me where our POC are tyrants? As for them being sidelined, that might be the first point I can actually discuss with you. Diversity has always been an issue in these books, but what I think is imperative to observe is that when the fandom started complaining, Sarah started changing. She introduced a southern continent, a wonderfully diverse world with excellent, strong POC characters. She made the Illyrians, fierce warriors that are POC. She made some of the High Lords POC. Is is perfect representation? No. But it’s commendable that she tried and still did a good job, that she is continuing to try and give us more POC. 

As for the women being pretty, I mean yeah. It is undeniable that Sarah provides us with a handsome group of people, but I definitely wouldn’t say that no character can be better looking than her mains. This is harder to discuss in terms of ToG, just because so many people with differing opinions get a POV, but in that if we’re considering Aelin to be the soul protagonist, than Elide is described as being prettier than her by Lorcan, Manon is decribed as being prettier than her by like everyone but Rowan, I’m sure Chaol thinks Yrene is prettier. In ACOTAR, Nesta is decribed by Cassian as the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and Nesta isn’t a main (as of yet). Feyre is often awed by the beauty Mor possesses, inside and out.  It is never, ever, her main characters being spiteful and saying that they’re better than another characters for their appearance. And what is also something that seems to go over your head, is that 1) beauty is completely subjective, if you’ve interpreted a character to be better looking than another one that is wholly your opinion and 2) we are given POVs for a reason. Of course Rhys is going to think Feyre is the most beautiful girl in the world, he’s hopelessly in love with her. 

As for your slaves to the main character point, I don’t even know where to start, because it’s such a baseless argument. In ToG, the people that follow Aelin follow her because they love her, and because they believe in the same cause. They all have free will, and are able to leave at any point. As for Feyre, I would love to see where you think anyone is her slave, because that’s honestly laughable. Have you even read the books???

And lastly, on the note of rape in the books. Yes, Rhys was habitually sexually assaulted by Amarantha, and Fenrys the same for Maeve. Those are two incredibly traumatising events for both characters. And the horror of this is acknowledged in both series’. Of course, we also have plenty of Queens that aren’t rapists, and I detest your insinuation that powerful female characters always behave in such a manner. 

“But u guys don’t even have brains to figure that out :D”

Oh honey, I’m not the one who looks stupid here :) Feel free to message me again, I’ll never say no to a good laugh. 

(And on a side note, if you don’t like a book, don’t read it. Exercise some of that free will I was talking about)

Why people ship maxvid /incest ships

I’m making this post cause some people don’t understand why people ship this ship or some people saying they it’s just ship it because it’s pedophilia

I’m here to talk about why these ships are here and why they can actually be seen as good

And

let me tell you the pedophile of the ship or a ship that has incest doesn’t matter if they where people who where put in the same situation without the age gap or no incest involved their ships would still be there

Let me explain

Ships are something psychological and people feel certain ways around people

Most ships start out with the characters

First we have max

He is easily irritated and is constantly grumpy

Then David

A constantly happy and full of hope

These are very opsite characters with very enjoyable personalitys

Then we have the relationship

Now if you where in the fandom when season one was the only thing of the cartoon you would understand how popular this ship really was in fact the first part of the fandom was nothing but maxvid shippers

But for good reason they’re interactions where enjoyable and gave off a hate but secret love vibe and it really showed especially in the season finally

Then session 2 happened which was the fall of the camp camp good side since now the fandom is kinda toxic right now

But those are the main reasons why people ship things people have different experience and personal thoughts and this ship having options sides of both a cheerful person and a person who has been through bad things making them disappointed in the world makes this ship relatable

Then theirs the part of the maxvid hate that people get irritated about

Being called a pedophile for shipping it

Some people actually can’t completely explain why they enjoyed this ship and they have other ships like this with pedophilia or incest

I can answer this it’s actually really simple

It’s a kink mixture

Most people have these two kinks that makes them think their pedophile

Size kink and first timer kinks

Yep mix those things together and you get pedophilia looking smut and weird ships

Is it wrong? No

Those are few of the most popular underground kinks out there and it makes sense for it to happen

Wanting to do someone that hasn’t done it before can be seen or remembered as a loving and passionate experience in some people’s eyes

Most Man love things that are cute and gently love it when women tight

Just like how most wemon love big strong men

It’s kinda obvious why those kinks are enjoy by so many people

Ok so what about people who are really pedophilias?

Most pedophile go for real porn of children getting hurt rape or see stuff that teaches them how to do it aka going to the deepweb for stuff like that they aren’t going to relay on ship at least not those kinda pedos at least

But other than that

Using these ships could actually help them avoid commending those types of urges

People say them writing or drawing pedophile will encourage them to do those things

If that’s the case then people would commit rape and treat it like it’s normal with how popular people look it up and how many people have the kink of rapeing

Though it is still legal to write and draw that stuff as long as it remains fiction.

it is offen a trick by psychiatrist to have pedophile write their minds so they don’t do anything in relief till they can help them with their mental problem

i mean which would you rather have someone writing about pedophile or having them doing the action themselves and causing pain to their victim

There are also people who say this shouldn’t be a ship thanks to the survives of pedophile

And a lot of people use ships like this to get over metal scarring some people have to face it head on while others avoid it

yas i do think there should be more warnings around this ship so people see it for those types of people but it shouldn’t be a reason for it not to exist

That’s all i wanted to say

I wanted people to not feel so self conscious about Shipping this like this

And have people who are against it understand why people do enjoy this ship

i know that there are a few anit-maxvid ships that come here looking to ethier bother people or ask why this ship is a thing

Feel free to leave any comments in the notes

I did a lot of research before writing this post and if you have something to say about it feel free even if it’s hate you can ague all you or calmly talk about weather your anti ship or pro ship

I am also going to tag this any incest ship because it kinda go’s the same way with incest ships

If you don’t agree with this being in a certain tag then if i get enough comments for it I’ll take the tag out

anonymous asked:

I think Mal is just a toxic bratty person. She's that type of person who acts like the world is out to get her for no reason but it is her own fault and she is to self righteous and lazy to admit her faults so then everyone around her just forgives her because they pity the girl who can't tap into her emotions because woe is her. Mal doesn't deserve pity nor forgiveness for the things she has done to Evie Carlos Uma Ben and Audrey

She doesn’t?

Like, lets list the things shes done to the characters you mentioned:

*Audrey= stole her boyfriend, humiliated her at the ball game and acted like Audrey was less of a girl to Evie cause of Audrey needing a boyfriend and then even pointed the wand at Audrey at the corination.

*Carlos= in the books, bullied him and bullied him into having a party, made fun of his dog fear and in films, continued that and in film 2, yelled at him first for not wanting to return to his abusive home and yelled at him with the other 2 for apparently letting Ben be captured when they didn’t.

*Uma= BULLIED HER FUCKING HORRIBLY, AND STILL DID THROUGHOUT FILM 2 AND EVEN MADE HER OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY- LIKE MAL IS THE REASON UMAS CONFIDENCE GOT SHATTERED AND HOLY CRAP DOES UMA HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO NOT FORGIVE MAL AT THIS POINT.

*Evie= in the books, had Evie banished simply for not being invited to her birthday party, bullied Evie at the party, planned to have Evie cursed to fall asleep for 1000 years, in the films: film 2 yelled at Evie with the other two for letting Ben be captured and prior to that acted surprised Evie didn’t want to return to her abuse roots.

*Ben= love spells him in first film, second film is when they hit the shit as Mals toxic as heck to Ben, controlling his memories almost with magic, lying to him and constantly acting like its his fault when its not and he just TAKES it when he had every right to dump her at this point- hell, when she rescued Ben, she acted like he was a nuisance for this….so uh, is this relationship even healthy at this point?

Mals very manipulative like that- like, she acts like the worlds about her and if its not, she’ll throw a tantrum and then act like its someone elses fault and they just accept the fault cause aw, poor Mal….not.

She is lazy- THE GIRL COULDNT EVEN MEMORISE A DAM BOOK, LIKE, STOP USING MAGIC GIRL AND JUST READ IT- IF HALF THE WORLDS POPULATION HAD TO MEMORISE TEXT BOOKS FOR EXAMS WITHOUT MAGIC, MEMORISING A LADYS MANNERS IS A PIECE OF CAKE. Like, she uses magic for EVERYTHING in D2- dying her hair blonde, memorising stuff, cooking, like does this girl even do jack shit on her own or is she too used to magic now?

Shes very self righteous- acting like shes always right when no, its right for Evie and Carlos to not want to return to their abusive home, its right for them to be trying to change into what they want to be, not what Mal wants them to be, its right for Uma to be mad at Mal and want to escape and Mal didn’t even try with that speech to Uma at the end as that was what Evie told Dizzy….fucking copycat.

The girl can tap into her emotions by D2 time- shes whiny, a prick to the point she makes a disgusted face at Aladdins and Jasmines food in that visit, yells at he friends and BF like its nothing and honestly, her woe is me story was the reason I wanted Uma to just drown the bitch by the final climax time.

Bitch aint getting my pity and sympanthy- she put herself in this mess, shes a selfish brat who cant handle the world not being about her, shes fucking Bill Cipher for all I care and as Anime America said in their number 1 choice for top 20 annoying anime characters: “No body wants the selfish brat to get what she wants”

Small talk with @thewhinyone

She gently shared some more thoughts about our beloved young man Bill. Feel free to entertain yourself, to agree or to disagree, and remember this is just some talking. Hope you enjoy. 💕

hi! Coming back to my thoughts on the interview with Stellan, I just read it again after some time just to recap. Here we go.

The interview itself dates back to 2016, so we can’t say for sure how well it reflects today’s Bill mindset, but - just because some things don’t change easily - we could argue that it doesn’t differ that much. For those who haven’t read it, in the interview Stellan asks him about his life in the US (the interview opens with Bills driving class in LA) and the differences between Sweden and the US.

A large part of the second section is devoted to Bill’s career as an actor, his strengths and his fearlessness when it comes to acting. Because of his casting as total drama queens (Roman), child murdering maniacs with a cute saccharine voice (Penny - how did some people manage to sexualize this character is still beyond me, but hey, whatever works for you), and just mysterious weirdos (the Kid), the world fell in love with Bill, and it’s great - he’s a good actor (and I say this as a person who has sat herself through all seasons of Hemlock, which, ahem, was not Bill’s fault at all). Nobody knew about him, when he was doing things like Simple Simon or Crown Jewels or anything else. And so, his behavior around foreign press was quickly branded by the new fans on the Bill train as ‘cute’, 'quirky’, 'shy’, while in reality - as Bill says of himself - he’s more outgoing, an extrovert rather than introvert, who may seem quite reserved at first but is not at all that.

Now, this is the part that people focus on while talking about this interview, which I believe is often cited out of context:

“Or to feel trapped or alone” > in the context of his family, the alone part stands out well. Here’s also where my 'his family will support him’ reasoning from earlier comes from. He’s a social creature, he likes having people around, so the rumors of him going wild in a nightclub in Stockholm may not be just a nice little touch on the rumor mill.

The 'to feel trapped’ > does it allude to relationships? Not in the context, no. BUT could it be interpreted as an allusion? I think yes. He clearly talks about long lasting social situations, so 'to feel trapped’ may be interpreted as an allusion to remaining in a toxic relationship.

So, I wouldn’t necessarily get attached to this particular remark on his part. What I would bring up though, is this:

This is from a 2017 interview for Interview Magazine, conducted by Alex, for a change. See how casually he throws “commitment issue” in there? This, m'ladies, is what gives me the 'break up’ vibes from him. She’s controlling, as we know from the fan encounters. He’s a free spirit with commitment issues. She provides him with a sense of being grounded, for now. You know - the flat that he bought, the baby, the 'vacation’ with 'friends’, but ultimately, it seems it’s not what he wants for now. Alex then says:

So, he was looking for an apartment back then, but I remember another interview (I can’t find it right now) where he also talked about this and said something along the lines of “so that I don’t have to drop my bags at my girlfriend’s”. Does this give you “I wanna be a dad, lets get you pregnant right now #family” vibes?

Anyhow, both interviews are worthy of a read. Both have some insight into the family (even Valter’s emo phase is brought up) and some anecdotes. According to Stellan, the only thing Bill was afraid of was Eija and it just begs the question: what did she do to her older brother?

Both provide you with Bill’s perception of himself, which is interesting and so out of tune with what he’s labeled as by some people (I’m sorry, but this homeboy is not a quiet introvert. He gives off 'reserved’ vibes, but I bet it’s a facade that drops after some time once he learns he can trust the person in question).

Both touch upon his desire to pursue his career outside of Sweden and taking on new projects. So yes, the argument that he will not settle easily is absolutely fucking accurate.

He also seems to have a pretty dry sense of humor and, from the Stellan interview, comes off as having a vast knowledge of the ~old industry, you know, Bergman films, having integrity, movies being made with some ideology behind them kind of thing, he’s clearly interested in that and - probably - well read. It makes sense if you keep in mind that on his dad’s side of the family there are almost exclusively artists (not just actors, painters, writers, etc. too - I can only dream of witnessing this massive bohemian gathering from the 70s that Alex brags about of Stellan and his siblings and friends talking about literature, music, philosophy…) so he has loads of people to discuss this shit with.

We all really love talking about Bill. I feel like interviews are the best way to get to know him as a person a little bit more, besides what we get to see from his roles or the video interviews linked to those roles. Still not much, I know, but it’s still something to have a general idea, and it’s amazing when we can talk together about it. And about him. 💫

Originally posted by godfreysteel

anonymous asked:

There is someone that is totally okay with continuing to tag their Kent hate. I mean, whatever. Blocked and all. But I find it ironic that they say that we HAVE to interpret Kent one way, but we HAVE to let people interpret other characters however they want. Like get over yourself, please. Yes, check please has a happy, queer romance story. But is it realistic? I can't say it is. I'm sorry if I want more hockey and more about the characters I'm already invested in. I'm not sorry that it's Kent.

YES! Super agree with all of these. Some things that came to me today:

1. On Check Please being a happy, queer romance story, I get that, but I think what bothers me the most is how inconsistent the writing of Check Please is in that regard. Because Ngozi says this is supposed to be an exploration of a world that Bitty can thrive, but it didn’t start like that at all. There are all sorts of issues that were presented in the beginning that were abandoned in pursuit of the love story that she wanted all along.

Jack’s mental health issue was there as a tragic backstory and insofar as it provided a vulnerable!Jack moment for Bitty and which leads to possibly more tragic backstory. But that very important facet to Jack just vanished along and was forgotten when it’s a valid consideration when they were outing themselves to his front office and teammates. Or take the fact that it was very possible that the added pressure of being closeted and being in a relationship was what drove Jack’s anxiety up a notch, as she hinted when she presented the vignettes of Jack and Kent’s relationship just before the draft–that didn’t all seem to matter because this is suddenly a world cured of homophobia when he presented Bitty as his boo. (Meanwhile, in the real world, millionaire Ryan Getzlaf repeatedly called a ref “cocksucker” and only got fined 10k and Anaheim fans are raising money to pay the fine.) Or that N introduced the idea that Jack had very real issues about meeting his father’s expectations –very real when he ignored the hell out of Bitty because Bitty scored a GWG– but wasn’t real when it’s a huge possibility that his hypermasculine dad could have objections to him outing himself for a few months’ old relationship . Or take the issue of Jack’s bisexuality. It was additional drama to pile on Bitty when he was insecure about their months-old relationship, but Jack’s bisexuality was never discussed, or how relevant that is in his situation as a closeted pro athlete. Or maybe that Jack is Bitty’s first relationship while it was said in the comic that Bitty wasn’t even ready to be out to his family yet–and yet that was forgotten when Jack practically convinced him they could be out, together. There are so, so many more points I could raise here, but what I’m trying to get at is that I see this canon as a series of writing decisions that opens up real, tangible issues, but fails to follow up on them, blatantly ignores them, in the guise of, hey this is supposed to be a happy story so no no no no drama. I’m here, like, 

me: but what about– 
canon: NO. NO DRAMA. NO

And it’s not as if those were issues are imagined, she wrote them in canon in the first place and then abandons them, leaving me unsatisfied and uneasy while there are so many loose threads flying about. But we’re supposed to ignore them because twu wuv, yeah?

2. I’ve said this before, but why not Kent? Kent is a closeted LGBT who loved a guy for years who just turned out to be buddyfucking him the whole time–he can’t even grieve properly? There is relatability to his heartbreak, complexity to his transformation from that soft-looking boy in his teen years to that night where he’s sharp and cold as he lashes out in anger. That Captain with a broken heart who tries to grapple at his remaining dignity by playing with every inch of the skill he’s learned lends himself to all kinds of possibilities that is exciting to explore. I love it (and I’m happy people love him too!), and his whiteness or his ‘problematic’ behavior shouldn’t be a deterrent to exploring his interiority, because that’s what fandom does! Fandom is precisely the proper space to explore what you want to explore because pushing all kinds of boundaries is what we do when we talk about and write stories that give layers to this character that they claim should be one-dimensional. Quoting some intelligent lady: You can’t keep telling yourselves and everyone else around you that this is a space where you come to to expand storylines and to push back against toxic cultural messages, and at the same time maintain that this is a line too far, that this is not something that is within your control.

3. Moreover, he’s a closeted professional athlete – and his story matters because his story has consequence. If there is an LGBT player right now in the NHL, they’re closeted and as trapped as Kent is in that situation. I feel like when I read Kent fics, most are fully cognizant and acknowledging of the brunt of being in that precarious situation, and that’s why they’re satisfying to me. Jack and Bitty’s story is in a bubble because they’re like in an alternate universe that isn’t remotely this one; the bubble that is modern capitalism is likelier to burst than Jack and Bitty’s little fantasy life. It’s like they exist in a vacuum devoid of real life common sense consequences. So sue me for wanting my stories having cause-effect.

4. I’m looking forward to Jack and Kent meeting again because there’ll be hockey, and I signed up here for hockey, which, for a hockey-themed comic seems scarce and inaccurate about. Though that might mean N will get to fulfill her Jack NHL Suksez Storyline when he finally is better than Kent because he’s powered by love and pies gags

Why I Think Andrew Wouldn’t Make a Good Love Interest

Before you guys say anything, I want to make it perfectly clear that I don’t hate Andrew. I truthfully, honestly do not hate him. His character and character development (especially the latter) is just fine.

The problem I have with Andrew is that he is a useless character that pretty much is only there to serve as a possible love interest (in a show that, in my opinion, doesn’t require any romance), and even then, he’s not depicted as a positive one, either. At least not early on, which–if good writing is a factor–is the most important part to establish the relationship between two characters.

And again, before you say anything, hear me out. I think it would do all of us some good if both sides are patient and respectful.

Keep reading

I’m sure many of you have seen, or at least heard about, the tweets Barlee posted earlier today. This post is going to get pretty long but I would like to address as many issues as possible in one place.

First of all, here are the tweets, you give you all the context:

The first thing that people see to be upset about is that Barlee called she/ith a “controversial ship”. Y'know what? She’s absolutely right. It is controversial. It sparked controversy, ergo it it controversial. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s problematic. I don’t view it that way. You probably don’t either. But if you can’t understand, on any level, how anyone could possibly be uncomfortable with Shiro and Keith dating, then you’re only fooling yourself.

Having your ships is ok, regardless of whether they are problematic or not; controversial or not. And I still firmly believe that antis are in the wrong with many of their opinions and actions, but Barlee certainly has a point when saying that she/ith and shaladin shippers need to be more understanding and considerate. She’s not telling us to put up with harassment, or saying that the antis are in the right. It’s a deeper issue than that.

Too many of us have got this idea in our heads that “she/ithers and shaladins = good” and “antis = bad”, but in reality it’s not that black and white. There is a growing number of shaladin shippers who are pretty much becoming “reverse-antis”. They are just as hateful, and just as aggressive, as the antis, but think it’s justified because they’re “in the right side”. What they’re doing is not ok. No one should be hating on or harassing anyone, regardless of what they ship or what makes them uncomfortable. It has to go both ways.

Barlee was right to address the toxicity that’s coming from both sides, and she felt it was her responsibility to do so since both she/ithers and antis have been using (and twisting) her words from previous tweets to bolster their arguments when harassing others.

However you feel about her getting involved in shipping discourse in the first place is up to you, but the fact remains that she did get involved. That can’t be undone. She’s got her back against the wall and nothing she can do will fully appease both sides. She’s been trying to for a while and whatever she does seems to result in more drama. Staying neutral is the right thing for her. The harassment comes from both sides and siding with either would be like supporting that harassment.

At the end if the day, her stance is “enjoy your ships and don’t harass people”, and that is a sentiment I stand behind.

To those of you who are angry that she basically said she/ith won’t be happening, you’re allowed to feel upset, but you should have known all along it was unlikely - and not just because it’s LGBT. The kind of relationship Shiro and Keith would have given their history is not so easily understood by all younger viewers, and it’s understandable that the staff would choose not to go down that path. The show was never about romance anyway. Shippers and older fans have their place in the fandom, but they are not the main demographic. We all need to remember that.

Everyone, please stop messaging or @ing Barlee. She doesn’t want anything more to do with this shipping drama and she has every right to remove herself from it. She’s a real person with real feelings, and she doesn’t deserve to be harassed or bombarded with rude messages.

If anyone wants to have a polite and civil discussion about this, or feels that I’ve left out something important, my asks and DMs are open. If you’re just going to bitch about Barlee or ship baiting, then don’t bother.

ieatcellphones  asked:

Hi Pru! I was reading what you said about Distanglement, that Eduardo’s father’s love is the kind you endure from a distance and that you related it to your own father. Lately I've been feeling that way with my own dad; our relationship is so volatile because we are both stubborn and can't help but butt heads any time we are together. Do you have any advice on dealing with that? It hurts because I love him and I know he loves me but it's like we bring out the worst in each other :(

This is the case with so many parental relationships: that intense love, intense closeness, intensity of expectation – it all marries into such a complicated and potentially hurtful situation. 

For me, it was getting older, it was getting kinder, more forgiving, learning to just let things go, to give way – and I’m sure that as I got older and did these things, my father did the same, that we both retreated and it gave us enough space to breathe. 

When I was younger, I was so desperate for validation, for my father to agree with my worldview and my choices, when in reality that was never going to happen. I’m my own person, and he has an entirely different lived experience. I needed to grow up and get confident in my own choices, to be comfortable and happy with them whether or not he could underwrite or support those decisions – that’s something that came with time and with the wear of years, but now when my father says something critical to me, I can see it not as the cutting, destructively cruel comment I would have at 16, and recognize it as his opinion, one that I can listen to and respect, but ignore because I’m an adult and my opinions are just as valid, and more so, when it comes to my own life. This never comes easy. This often only comes with time.

I also had to learn to forgive him, for not being magical and a mindreader, not being the precisely and perfectly bespoke creation of a father that I desperately needed at any given time. It’s as I got older that I realized with more and more clarity that not only were my parents flawed people, they were flawed people who were – like me – doing the best they could with whatever limited experience and information they had at the time. My poor father had never had a 15 year old daughter before, never had a 16 year old daughter before, never had an 18 year old daughter before. Every day and hour and incident was a new and probably terrifying experience of vertigo: I relied on him for so many things, and he needed to give me as much of it as he could – financial support, safety, a future, wisdom, kindness, love. It’s too much. And kids are like that little shit from the Giving Tree. We take, endlessly, because we don’t know any better, and it’s not until the benefit of hindsight that we reflect on our parents and the people who were so generous with us with anything approaching clarity. My father was by no means perfect, he was an enormously toxic factor for many years of my life. And even though it doesn’t change the reality of it, it does matter that it wasn’t deliberate. That he did the best he could. Life both does, and does not, give points for effort. At least I give points for effort.

And finally, on the topic of space? Truly it was distance that saved our relationship. I fought viciously and constantly with my father until I was 18, at which point I moved out of my parents’ house and I’ve never been back for longer than two weeks since, for holidays, for visits. But even so, I’m closer with him and more secure in our relationship now – we text, we email, we don’t scream at each other anymore. 

It’s taken more than three decades, but I can say without reservation that I love my father, and that most days I even really like my father. But it’s work. It’s a choice. It’s hard graft sometimes. But I suspect that you already know that it is worth it. 

I’m sending you all the patience and fortitude I can – best of luck. 

With 1,000+ followers, the Beacon crew wanted to tell you all something. Something important!
  • <p> <b>Ruby:</b> Hi everyone! Thank you for sending us all this love here at Beacon, you all mean so much to us! But remember, you've got to give love to yourself too. As well as those around you!<p/><b>Weiss:</b> Yes, of course! Even if something seems impossible, keep trying your best. With strength and perseverance, you can move mountains! So follow your goals, and don't forget to set new ones after you complete them!<p/><b>Blake:</b> Also, as easy as it seems to be, running away from your problems won't help. You have to face your demons head on. Which is scary, I know. But you aren't alone, you have others. Don't be too scared to accept help.<p/><b>Yang:</b> Try not to stay hidden in your room forever, remember to get out of there, and say "hi" to family, they probably miss you a lot. And you don't have to jump out there for hours, just go out, say hello, and then you can go back into your safe space, keep trying though, baby steps.<p/><b>Jaune:</b> If you ever doubt yourself, don't worry. It's something we all do. Just keep self reflecting, hunt down whatever about yourself you don't like, and then begin to work on changing it. Or removing it. But just don't give up, you are worth it, and so much more.<p/><b>Nora:</b> Remember that it's always okay to treat yourself to nice and yummy snacks! Anybody, from body builders to just your average day person, everyone deserves to taste some yummy food. Even if it's a little bad for you. Just make sure you have self control and can practice moderation.<p/><b>Pyrrha:</b> If you have feelings for someone, act upom them. The worst they can do is say no. And yeah, rejection hurts, it really does. But that's the first step to getting over that obstacle. And if they say yes? That's wonderful!! Please enjoy your newfound relationship, just make sure it's healthy, and all parties are happy.<p/><b>Ren:</b> Nora is right yes, but also remember to try and eat healthy. Fruits and vegetables are important for growing bodies, for bodies in general. Take some quick time to research what kinds of fruit and vegetables are good for you. And if you're allergic, try and find a safe substitute.<p/><b>Coco:</b> Try out new clothes, experiment with your fashion, don't be afraid to do something out of this world! And if you can't afford this style. Don't worry, you could always learn how to sew, homemade things are always better, aren't they?<p/><b>Fox, signing:</b> If you feel as though you're surrounded by an impenetrable darkness, don't lose yourself over it, take a seat, and a breath. And you will find the light! There is always a light, we all believe in you. Go get it!<p/><b>Velvet:</b> Taking lots of pictures is fun, you could cover your walls in pictures of things that make you happy! But don't forget that pictures do not equal memories, so whenever you take an amazing photo, put the camera down and etch the subject of the photo to your mind. Try your best to remember the things you love.<p/><b>Yatsuhashi:</b> If you feel as though you're intimidating, do not worry. The character archetype of a gentle giant is truly a great one. Change that intimidation into a sense of power and courage that people will respect and love. Change it into something you would love.<p/><b>Sun:</b> Don't forget to exercise! Go for light jogs at first, exercise is healthy for the body and the mind. Also remember to eat things that will give you the appropriate amount of energy, you can't run a mild off of a bag of chips! Try a few bananas!<p/><b>Scarlett:</b> If anyone ever laughs at the way you look, ignore them. You're rad if you feel rad. Simple as that. End of story. No one else can ruin that for you, no one.<p/><b>Sage:</b> If you ever feel as though you're just a character in the background, sit down and think about it. If life is a big story, yes you're a background character for strangers. But you're a sidekick to those you love. And you're the hero of your own story. Never forget that.<p/><b>Neptune:</b> Try and beat your fears, you can do it! Scared of spiders? We all are, you aren't alone! Try your best to get over a fear, because you can do it! We're all here to help!<p/><b>Cardin:</b> Don't be afraid to apologize for something bad you've done, it'll make you feel a lot better in the long run, believe me.<p/><b>Ozpin:</b> No matter what in life. You must do what you find is right. You have to follow your heart, your soul. That's what is important.<p/><b>Glynda:</b> Even if it'syour job, there are some messes that you don't need to clean up. Don't let other people's mistakes consume your life. You have yourself to worry about.<p/><b>Qrow:</b> Try your best not to fall into addictions, but if you do, don't be ashamed. It happens to a lot of people. And don't worry either, there's help out there for you. You only have to ask for it.<p/><b>Cinder:</b> Don't stick around with manipulative people, they're not good for you, or your soul. People like that will only hurt you. It's best to cut yourself away from that toxicity, even if it hurts you in the short term. You'll be so much better off in the long term.<p/><b>Mercury:</b> Sometimes...parents aren't what theyre they're cracked up to be. Some parents are just bad people. That's just it. If it applies to you. Keep fighting for the chance to grow up to become a strong and stable adult. One that will never sink down so far as to hurt a child.<p/><b>Emerald:</b> We all have bad habits, ranging from nail biting to shoplifting, but no matter the range, with enough work and willpower. You can break those habits. And replace them with good habits, you can do it!<p/><b>Roman:</b> If you don't feel love in a romantic way, don't worry. Platonic love is some of the strongest stuff out there.<p/></p>
  • Penny: Don't ever worry about being forgotten about, you have friends and family that will remember and love you well after you're gone, but that doesn't mean leaving won't crush them. So do your best to keep yourself here as long as you can.!

anonymous asked:

So I'm JK biased, I use to ship tk because they have such gay moments i appreciate their relationship a lot, some tkkers are nice but most of them treat JK so bad idk how to explain it for me personally as an ex tk shipper I found that v is the one who love more or probably is the only one who love jk (in romantic way) don't misunderstand it's my opinion he can't take his hand off him even if he's touchy he's touchy with JK more however tkker keep saying jk is madly in love / whipped and 1+

But they don’t mention how v look whipped so many times? They only treat jk as that dumb who’s in love and doesn’t care about the others but care only about v, that made me hate a lot to see their videos analysis and stuff ,even in jealousy, not only with v jk is jealous boy there are so many moments were the jealousy is so forced and they even laugh at jk being jealous and even dare to say ’ go away I hate you I only care abt v ’ , I was shocked that people start unstaning jk because of gcf 2

This is unfortunate but yes. I have seen those tweets or posts where the hate isn’t towards only Jimin but also Jungkook himself. (I won’t address the V looks whipped part bc he also looks pretty whipped for Jimin. And every other member at random times. He’s like that. Adoring. He adores JK as the maknae and he’s not consistent. He does however.. get jealous when left out of the loop.)

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whatdoesthebatsay  asked:

As the former collections manager of an Edgar Allan Poe museum, I can't resist. "Berenice," with dealer's choice of characters.

Me @ myself: damn

[Um ok this got a bit long, like 1941 words long, but it’s Scriddler and I hope you’re ok w that bc I gotta get back to writing my boys. Well. I guess you can say mentions of Scriddler, but nothing solid. Also a bit dark on the relationship part.]


Berenice: loss, fixation, memory.

[ But as, in ethics, evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. ]

                                                                1              

Often when one enters a career that binds them to work until the early hours of the morning, when the sun is tentatively peering its head up from the horizon and the city lights are fading away as an indicator to the people to wake up, they know better than to get expectations. When this career further includes activities that many would deem dangerous, or immoral, these expectations are further to be limited. The only expectation a criminal can have is the expectation that they will be inevitably caught. They cannot even anticipate success; if you do, you gain a large ego, and this is how you collapse.

Jonathan knew of a man who had begun to anticipate his success. Yes, he knew of this man quite intimately; he had spoken through bars to him and had been forced to share showers. Often when you share showers with someone that’s about the time you stop trying to be shy around each-other. There is nothing sacred when you’re both inmates at the exact same institution. Even when you try to hold your tongue from others, the walls whispered for you.

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