it's 3 am and i feel like s shitty person so

anonymous asked:

Could I request for a scenario/imagine of Aizawa finding out his s/o's b-day is a few days after his? Like Hizashi was asking what he was gonna do his s/o b-day. Aizawa asked why did he asked all of a sudden. Hizashi deadpan that their b-day is on the 13 November. Just 5 days after his. What would Aizawa do after knowing their b-day? Sorry if this is too self-indulgent. My b-day is at 13 November so I'm really excited and I love how close both our birthdays are since he's one of my favourites

YEEEEET HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE! <3 I’m so sorry I didn’t manage to release this on your actual birthday date, but hopefully this is not much later! I did give it priority because I wanted to release as close to the date as I possibly could *-* I wish you all the happiness, lovely <3 I hope your birthday was full of joyful moments and that your year to come is a mesmerizing one. I can totally relate as my own birthday was/is the same day as aizawa’s /o/ (I will cal you uuuuh 13-non? I am so not creative with anon names i’m so sorry)

I am so sorry this gotten so long omg. My preference for aizawa is showing.

Word count: 1834

Warning: Too much fluff, risk for diabetes ahead.


To describe what he was currently feeling as tired would have been an understatement. Exhaustion filled his bones and joints with surgical precision; heavy irons attached to his ankles and wrists, weighting his every step and tampering his movements. Any and all sensations numbed, turning them into nothing but faint experiences, too distant to feel real. He had work to do. A lot of it. A hell of too much of it for all he was worth.

“E…ser!”

He had approximately two whole stacks of papers to grade and exactly null disposition to do so. However, such was the life of an adult. 30 years old as of yesterday, no celebration allowed. With a heavy sigh, Shouta took the first paper of the bundle, exhaling his entire soul upon seeing Kaminari’s anarchist handwriting. This one promised to be a train wreck. He could feel the beginnings of a migraine creeping in on him; not that his friend seemed to care about making it worse.

“Oy, Eraser!”

Grunting in what could pass off as a sound of acknowledgement, he attempted to ignore Mic’s strident voice. He couldn’t catch a break.

“Eraser, say. You have time to karaoke this weekend?” Midnight’s velvet voice reached his ear, with its ever present mischievous undertone. Aizawa failed to answer, running his eyes again through the paper. He must have made a mistake. Having a negative grade was impossible to achieve, even for one with such an outstanding capacity for failing exams as Kaminari.

“I’m saying he probably has plans for [Name]’s birthday.” Mic whined, sighing much more audibly than strictly necessary. Right there, he had marked one of the questions incorrectly. Not that this would help the boy’s case overmuch. Maybe if he offered lessons… Wait just a second.

“Birthday?” Shouta finally raised his head in something of a surprise, only to squint angrily at the cigarette between Mic’s fingers. “Take your shitty smoking outside.”

“[Name]’s birthday is this weekend. You know, your s/o.” Not abashed in the slightest, the other hero placed the cigarette behind his own ear, seemingly happy enough with himself. “Aren’t you going to celebrate with them?” he smiled up at Shouta, somewhat wickedly, obviously having noticed that he had forgotten. Damn it. It had completely slipped his mind. What, between the general consistency of his fatigated state and his personal disregard of his own birthday, he had failed to notice that theirs was nothing less than 5 days away. No, correction: 4 days away. Well, shit.

That explained why they had made a point of telling him, with all airs of importance, that they had no plans for that weekend. Despite him not having asked them. Things suddenly clicked in his brain and he pressed his fingers to his eyes, feeling like a dumbass. Of course they were expecting something. And he had forgotten.

“Hey, no worries, Eraser!” Mic’s overly excited voice stormed his eardrums, much too close for comfort, as he felt his friend’s arm rest amicably on his shoulders. “You still have 4 days to think of something.”

“Shut up.”

—-

The light is what wakes them up. Eyelids fluttering gently open, they look around in confusion, still slightly lost on the dense mist of sleep. The telltale way in which the sunlight filtered through the room, with almost devastating clarity, gave away exactly how much they had overslept. It should be almost noon at that point. All heavy limbs and fuzzy mind, they stretch languidly, revelling on the soft feel of the sheets tangled around their body. Trying to pretend the absence of Shouta didn’t bring sadness to their heart.

Because it did, more than what they cared to admit. The space besides them was empty and cold, which by itself felt like a rather lonely birthday gift. Shouta probably left for work, on a Saturday of all days. At this point, they were convinced that he had forgotten. They could all but hear their own heart breaking just by remembering last night. How they had waited awake, because they enjoyed to just wait for the clock to turn midnight so they could just welcome their special day. And how Shouta had arrived from patrol shortly after, only to promptly collapse in bed, absolutely oblivious as for what reason his s/o would be excited at such a late hour. Not even a modest ‘happy birthday’ before falling into a deep slumber. Nothing.

Already drained of all the possible excitement they might have felt for the day to come, they get up slowly, staggering into the living room in a daze. At the exact same time as Shouta came in through the front door. He scoffed in half amusement, apparently finding something funny in their dishevelled appearance. “Sleeping much? Sit you down, sleepyhead. I will press some coffee for you.” He jested through his customary sarcastic demeanour.

Huffing irritably, they sat down on the couch, telling themselves that it was absolutely not because he told them to, but rather because they still felt just too dizzy from excess of sleep. Yes, that was it. As it was, they almost jumped out of their skin when something suddenly fell unceremoniously onto their lap. A small box.

They looked up at the culprit, namely Shouta, who was now placing a hot mug of coffee on the side table, looking as unfazed as always. Feeling their hearts swell with renewed and bright hope, they opened the small gift. Inside there was the new album of one of their favourite bands, accompanied by a sweet note signed with the flashy handwriting unmistakably belonging to Present Mic. The disappointment was so strong that they could swear they heard they heart die a little bit, almost like a wounded animal attacked by surprise by a hunter in the woods. Fatal injury. It wasn’t Shouta’s. He had truly forgotten.

“It’s from Hizashi” their boyfriend explained, rather unnecessarily. Acquiescing silently, they bit down their lower lip, fighting back the silly tears that threatened to spill. It’s not that they weren’t glad with Hizashi’s thoughtful gift – it’s true that they had been blabbing about that musician nonstop for the last few months – but it hurt them so to know their own boyfriend would so blatantly overlook their birthday. And he must know at this point, surely. But the cold disregard and lack of acknowledgement felt a bit much at this point. They sniffed, lightly but still more audibly than they had intended, and they heard Shouta clicking his tongue, as a clear show of his own discomfort.

They heard the shuffling sound of clothes and the fainting steps as Shouta walked away. Well, great. The day was going downhill barely 30 minutes since waking up. It was a talent of theirs, apparently. Maybe they should put it on their CV and get a job as a day-destroyer, as they were clearly in wrong profession.

Absorbed in their thought, they didn’t hear he come back, and were snapped out of their thoughts by the deep sound of his voice. “I also don’t have any plans for the weekend.” Even through their upset haze, he sounded a bit awkward.

Surprised, they raised their eyes to meet his, not quite understanding where this was going. He was sitting on the couch’s armrest. Close enough to be touched if they so much desired, while still giving them enough breathing space. He placed his hand behind his neck, scratching the area as if in embarrassment, somehow managing to further mess his already sloppy locks.

“What I mean is…” he went on, taking a deep breath as if looking to gather himself. “I took the weekend off. To spend with you.”

It took some seconds for the information to sink in. Their heart behaving wearily in fear of further disappointment. But this was a verbal admission. He had freed his days, to spend only with them.

“So we can do whatever you like. I know it’s not ideal and nothing much but—”

“You remembered.” They croaked, stupidly emotional over the simple conclusion. Shouta’s eyes widened, and pressed his lips together, letting his hand drop to his lap in some sort of defeat.

“I had… In truth, I had forgotten. Hizashi reminded me.” He admitted, voice dropping ever-so-slightly to what could be described as an abashed tone. “I’m sorry. I—” He was suddenly interrupted by a soft and muffled ‘meow’ which came from some location within his person.

Their mouth fell open, in an almost comical surprise. “Is that a…?”

Had they not known any better, they would have sworn that the change of tone in his cheeks was that of an embarrassed flush. However, Shouta most certainly didn’t do blushing, so it was probably a result of room temperature. Right? Right. Despite that, their boyfriend reached somewhere inside the coat he was wearing, revealing the most cute, fluffy, and small kitten they had ever laid their eyes upon.

Unable to suppress an enthusiastic squeak, as well as the beautiful warm feeling that began to spread through their heart and stomach, they stretched their hands eagerly, receiving the little thing with careful adoration. The kitten blinked lazily, apparently confused with the change of environment, rolling over on their palm carelessly and proceeding to adorably paw their finger. It had a black and silky fur, and was wearing a loose red ribbon around its neck, almost as if it was placed there in an afterthought.

“That’s why I left earlier. You said you wanted one for some time now. And Kayama has a friend whose cat just had a litter and, well, I thought you would like.” He trailed off, noticing they were barely paying him any mind.

“But… You said you were too busy to care for one.” They said, feeling their heart twist painfully at the mere thought of having to return the lovely creature. They loved it already. “Or would I take it to my house? You can maybe visit it sometimes? Or it stays here and I will visit it sometimes?”

“That won’t be a problem if you move in.” He put in, with appalling simplicity, as if answering that obviously the sum of two plus two equals four. Not as if he had just invited his long term partner to live together. They felt their heart stop, the air leaving their lungs altogether.

“Do you mean this?” They said quietly, emotion taking over their soul in strong waves as the kitten bit at their thumb softly.

He nodded, a rare gentle smile touching his lips. “Yes, I do. If you will have me. No don’t.” He added in mild panic, as the tears threatened to spill down their eyes. He closed the space between them both, wrapping his arm around their shoulder, allowing them to bury their face on the crook of his neck as they tried to regain control. “Happy birthday, [Name].” He said lamely, sounding mildly afraid to cause another emotional burst. But they knew now: he meant it.


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breakdown

-mild spoilers for chapter 80+-

Bakugou Katsuki is an unbreakable shell. He is the epitome of raw power, anger, and toughness—an oak tree unwilling to bend and break even in the strongest of winds. He’s the ball of snow rolling down the hill, accumulating size and taking down everything in its way with sheer force.

And yet behind this silent door, where the winds are silent and the snow is vast and unending, the mighty oak falls to the ground uprooted and the ball of snow rolls to a stop.

Behind the door, he is a shattered boy, chasing visions of his dreams while blindfolded. He cannot see the path that the others are taking and it’s painful. He can feel the others getting ahead, getting praised and honored and yet he is here, left to the dust and to his own misery.

“…Don’t you think he’ll turn over to their side?”

It’s stupid, letting the shallow words of the press get to him, but at the same time it hurts. It feels cold. And while there are still people who praise him, if not more, the boy is blind to it. And while he is so, his cheeks are tainted wet with the mark of his weakness.

You weak fucker, if only you didn’t get kidnapped, then All Might would never have retired. You’re always getting fucking saved by everyone, even fucking Deku. You keep telling yourself you’re gonna be a hero when you’re the one who’s always getting fucking saved. It’s not you who’s doing the saving.

And then all of a sudden he feels something warm engulf his hand, bringing it away from his pathetic, crying face as a firm, quiet voice asks him, “What’s wrong?”

He feels cold. He doesn’t answer—not immediately, of course. He doesn’t need to look up to know that it’s Kirishima again, inviting himself over once more.

He feels annoyance surge over his senses and he smacks the other boy’s hand away, using his own to wipe the tears away from his face.

Angrily, “I’m fine,” he deadpans. He’s fine. He’s not crying. He doesn’t need Kirishima to hold his hand—what was he, fucking five? What a shitty-haired asshole, making him out to be weak.

His eyes find the time on his clock and he freezes when he realizes it was 3:40 in the morning. This fucker—this redheaded fucking asshole, actually came into his room at an ungodly hour of the fucking night just to comfort him. Once more the tears start to come and Bakugou, in the heat of the moment, decides to abandon his act and unravel, the pieces he was desperately trying to glue together coming apart once more.

And Kirishima… he catches them, without hesitation. Immediately goes to invade Bakugou’s personal space and pulls him into an embrace. It’s… warm.

Warm. Every fucking thing about this guy was warm. His smiles, his gestures, even his fucking hair was a symbol of warmth. Kirishima shone like the fucking sun and even while standing next to him Bakugou felt like his skin was being burned off, searing and scorching, every bit of him melting away like candle wax.

It hurt, but then again, it was a sort of remedy. Bakugou was so used to surrounding himself with darkness, not letting other people get close to him and get to know him behind his wall of anger. But the bricks which he made to build that wall were wax, and since Kirishima was warm, he burned them away with ease and sat down next to Bakugou, patting his back as if they were old friends.

His hands found the back of Kirishima’s shirt, balling it into a fist and pulling him closer. Closer, closer, closer, until the only sound in the room would be the soft whirr of the air conditioner and their own two heartbeats. Closer until Bakugou couldn’t hear his own self-deprecating thoughts anymore.

Closer. And he doesn’t try to break away or push, because it’ll probably be fine, right? It’s just Kirishima…

…Or maybe he lets himself because it’s specifically Kirishima.

prompt requests are open! please send me an ask i am needy aaaA

anonymous asked:

1) I saw your tags on that post of Lizbobs about Twist and Shout and I am so happy that clear thinking meta writers like you agree that it in no way should be as popular as it is. It makes me cringe whenever someone brings it up as if it is actually a ‘beloved’ fic. I’m sorry if this sounds hateful, and I don’t mean to bring hate on the writers who put effort into it, but at some point this fandom has gotta realise that this fic being the ‘flagship fic’ for Destiel is a really REALLY bad thing.

2) Consider this fandom: We are close to getting canon destiel. That could put this show on the map, get real media interest. There is no doubt therefore that some media will dig further into the ‘fandom phenomenon’ behind destiel. Imagine just how CRINGEWORTHY it will be for mainstream media to discover that the most popular destiel fan fic is nothing more than poorly written tragedy porn rip off of Forrest Gump with the standard ‘kill your gays with aids trope’ at the end?!?! It is actually

3) disgraceful and we should be ashamed of ourselves for trying to push this fics popularity. Imagine how, on the chance destiel DOES become canon (which in my mind is rather likely) the writers, creators and actors on this show would feel that their beautiful love story about an angel and a hunter was butchered and turned into something frankly AWFUL?

4) How would Misha feel to know that a so called majority of destiel fans actually idolise a fic where his character dies from aids thanks to his decent into drug abuse?! What the HELL fandom?! WHY is this such a popular fic? It is a disgrace to the show, a disgrace to the characters and frankly an insult to our intelligence as a fanbase looking for LGBT+ representation. We don’t need more gay tragedies. That is pretty much ALL we get in mainstream media.

5) Yes the aids crisis was a horrible tragedy, but after decades of mainstream media giving LGBT people basically NOTHING but tragic stories where there are no happy endings for us, isn’t it about time that this trope DIED? Yet here we are, a modern and at least somewhat progressive fandom, still glorifying a fic that falls under that same tired miserable category. Not to mention that the fic is terrible written and the characters are absolutely nothing like their canon counterparts.

6) Sorry, I know this is getting rather mean, but years of pent up anger about this stupid fic is bringing it out of me in your inbox. Lets all be honest here. Twist & Shout is our ‘My Immortal’. It needs to die. Just like ‘My Immortal’ did for Harry Potter, it gives all other destiel fics a bad name. Can we PLEASE stop glorifying it and admit how shitty it is already.I know this is a harsh message, and I am sure that a lot of people would be upset by me saying these things, but it’s the truth

7) and I’ve spoken to enough people in fandom who silently agree with me. Though we all live in silence for fear of offending this mysterious majority of destiel shippers who apparently adore this fic? I’m sorry, but I am convinced that if we were to do a survey of peoples actual opinions on that fic, it wouldn’t come up positive at all. Popularity grows popularity. That’s the problem here. New people search for the most popular fics on AO3, and they become more popular, and those same new

8) people then believe that T&S is the standard to live up to in destiel fandom. That is an embarrassment for all of us. I just really want the obsession to end. Its not a good thing.


Oh hi. I see you have Feelings™ about this, and since I largely agree… 

I’ll start off by linking the post you’re referring to, with my attendant tags on it, here:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/163613335445/hey-lizbob-i-was-watching-12x03-and-i-noticed

as well as a few other tag rambles I’ve gone on over the years here, going all the way back to 2015. So that at least gives readers an idea of how I personally feel about it. And now on to the disclaimer section of this post:

I’ve always been, and will ALWAYS be a proponent of fanfic being a “ship and let ship” environment. I will NEVER assume to dictate what people write, read, or find enjoyment in. I will NEVER judge what “should” and “shouldn’t” be written or enjoyed by ANYONE. FULL STOP.

I am also a fierce advocate for “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” when it comes to discussing fanfic. And that will never change.

But that’s not the issue when it comes to the inexplicable fandom “popularity” of this particular fic. If you read it and loved it, that’s GREAT! I’m glad. More power to you. It’s not the fic itself I have an issue with. I just wanted to make that clear. I am not here to dissuade people from enjoying it, nor to speak ill of the story itself.

It’s the nature of the story itself, versus the nature of fanfic, versus the fandom mystique surrounding it– the fact that it has somehow become the Flagship Fic Standard for ALL destiel fic, and the fact that for some reason the fandom itself seems to push it at the actors and creators and crew members of this show over and over again.

I’ve often wondered  if some of Bob Singer’s cavalier attitude about having killed Charlie Bradbury wasn’t directly rooted in the fact that the entire production staff seems to be aware of T&S, even if they haven’t actually read it for legal reasons, but at least know that this particular fic that is apparently glorified in this fandom is founded on the Kill Your Gays trope.

Like, we constantly yell at TPTB to be better than that, and yet THIS is the story we’ve chosen as a fandom to elevate to the highest pinnacle of fanfic glory?

It’s just… depressing.

(and honestly, this fic is THE reason I refuse to read ANY fic that’s tagged “period typical homophobia.” I just… refuse to torture myself with that damn trope anymore)

But from everything I’ve read about it (and from the half a chapter I managed to struggle through myself before noping out), the only thing necessary to make this an original work of fiction would be to change the names of the characters. It’s not even a “file the serial numbers off” job. It READS like original fiction where the characters and plot share little other than the names of our beloved Dean and Cas.

And to me, that’s not why I read fanfic. If I wanted to read about entirely different people, I’d read original fiction, you know? Not struggle to identify with characters that bear little to no resemblance to the characters I actually care about.

It’s not just a problem with AU fic, because I’ve read HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of AU fics that don’t seem to have this problem with keeping the characters “in character” even in entirely different situations. If they can feel like Dean and Cas in a Firefly AU, or a Regency Romance, or a Gothic Horror, or Ancient Rome, or in a fantasy AU where they’re witches or dragons or a freaking octopus, then yeah, they can remain in character in ANY AU. HECK I ADORED AN AU WHERE DEAN AND CAS WERE FREAKING CHICKENS. LITERALLY CHICKENS. And it was more in character than T&S.

I’m not going to presume to suggest the sort of fic that I believe is more representative of the best of our fandom, but having read far more than 5000 fics (I’ve got over 4k in my AO3 history, and I read fic for over a year before I got an account there to start tracking my history, PLUS all the fic I’ve read on LJ, FF.net, tumblr, etc… I mean the real number is probably closer to 10k or even MORE if you count all the little drabbles and things), I have to say that the MAJORITY of fic I’ve read has been far better at representing Dean and Cas as I know and love them.

We as a fandom don’t have to agree on what the “best fanfic” of the lot of them is, but can we at least agree to stop pushing THIS PARTICULAR FIC so forcefully and directly into the faces of the actors, writers, crew, etc.?

If we want THEM to do better by our characters, if we want our shouts of STOP KILLING OUR QUEERS to actually hit home, maybe we need to stop glorifying this particular fic to TPTB at every goddamn turn.

(and second disclaimer: In all my years in fandom, aside from anon messages praising the fic, I have spoken to exactly TWO people who admitted to enjoying this fic. Talking privately with hundreds of others, people express a far less enthusiastic opinion of it. I firmly believe that the vast majority of hits on it are from people just like me and others I’ve talked to about it, that the only reason we ever clicked on it was due to this very fandom mystique, the controversy about its popularity, and curiosity over what all the fuss was about. It’s become a self-sustaining enterprise of generating more and more hits, you know?)

Newbies to fandom and fanfic are often encouraged to go to AO3 and search the ship results by either hits or kudos to read “the best stories” first, and of course T&S is the first result either way.

But as a fic WRITER? Can I just speak for all of us when I say getting a comment that our story was “just as good as T&S” doesn’t really feel like a compliment? Most of us don’t WANT to think we’ve written an OOC Kill Your Queers tragedy porn, or to really be associated with it in any way.

Honestly, we need to stop hating ourselves this much.

anonymous asked:

Fam you got me crazy for them hcs. Paladins reactions to finding out their s/o is pregnant? Who wants it and who doesn't?

Ah, prego S/Os, my muse~ babies are just so cute!

Originally posted by vayseninamk

—–

Shiro

  • When you tell shiro your have a bun in your internal oven, he’ll drop whatever he had in his hands
  • Laughs nervously, you’re joking right? Ahaha..haha.. ha
  • No? Ok.
  • A minute of shock followed by PURE TERROR
  • It’s not like he does NOT want it but the timing is shitty
  • WHY COULDNT THERE BE CONDOMS IN SPACE!?
  • U ARE BANNED FROM TRAINING! U HEAR!? BANNED HE SAYS!
  • Really starts to spend most of his time thinking ‘what the hell am I going to do’
  • Will ask allura if there is anyway he can send you back to earth so you can be safe and have the prenatal care you need!
  • If he can’t send you back, you’re getting weekly health scans by Coran
  • It doesn’t sink in that there is going to be a child that resembles both you and him crawling around soon until your stomach is inflated
  • Shiro is anxious and it takes a nightmare that somehow turned into a good dream when a happy dimple-smile baby takes over
  • He wakes up crying. Like this could be a really GOOD thing. Sure nothing is ideal but it’s a child made from the love you have for each other
  • After that Space dad will baby proofs EVERYTHING and is now really worried if he can even hold the baby with his arm…
  • You have to console him when he starts to feel like this
  • When the baby is born, he won’t hold the tiny thing until you make him
  • Then you can’t seem to get your baby back because Shiro is coddling them too much and showing it off to EVERYONE
  • Pidge: “WHY DOES IT HAVE PART OF SHIRO’S WHITE HAIR!?”
  • REALLY wants to name it Hiro if it’s a boy or Akane if it’s a girl

Lance

  • holy….. HIS FAMILY IS GOING TO KILL HIM
  • He is pacing back and talking to himself about everything that could go wrong
  • EVERYTHING
  • He is now your personal errand boy because he doesn’t want you doing anything while your pregnant
  • Is already trying to think of baby names
  • Now that the shock and terror wore off, he’s REALLY excited
  • Hates going on missions and leaving you now. He doesn’t want to miss anything
  • Talks to his lion all the time about his future offspring
  • Seriously, he won’t shut up now
  • Already thinking of how many more kids you should have after this one. STRONGLY wants at least 3 or 2 with a giant dog
  • Traces circle on your stomach when you’re trying to go to bed
  • DECKS OUT THE FREAKIN NURSERY BEFORE YOU START SHOWING.
  • I headcanon this man can sew and diy like nobody’s business so expect homemade baby clothes and toys
  • Jokes often ‘so how’s lance’s jr today?’ Or at least you hope he’s joking
  • Really wishes he could call his parents about their future grand kid and offer him advice about parenthood
  • Already has nightmares about your kid’s teenage years
  • Wants to get a pet (like a puppy) for the baby now so they’ll have someone grow up with.
  • Since there is no puppies in space, expect lance to come home with strange creatures that aliens refer as pets
  • HE WONT LET GO OF THE BABY WHEN ITS BORN LIKE NO LET HIM HOLD IT FOR A FEW MORE HOURS
  • If it’s a boy, Raimundo. If it’s a girl, Yulisa

Keith

  • “You mean… like a baby?”
  • He actually takes it well at first he’s like 'cool what now?’
  • Isn’t really concern TIL YOUR FREAKIN STOMACH LOOKS LIKE YOU ATE SOMEONE
  • NOW he starts to have some worries like can he actually be a father?
  • Doubts he can give the baby everything he longed for as a kid BUT HE WILL SURE AS HELL TRY
  • never wants this baby to feel unloved so he’ll pretty much spoil them until you stop him
  • Goes to space dad for advice regularly
  • He lets you train until you almost fall that one time, now he won’t let you near the training room.
  • Is constantly asking if you’re feeling ok
  • Instantly realizes that ALOT can go wrong
  • Is a worried mess til delivery
  • Holds your hand the whole time and tries not to freak out when STUFF IS COMING OUT OF YOUR LADY PARTS
  • Is silently crying in relief when everything goes ok. You’re ok and this new flesh being is ok
  • Doesn’t really know what to say he’s just really genuinely happy right now
  • Doesn’t care for the name so you have free range
  • Enjoys it when lance screams 'MINI KEITH IS LOOSE AGAIN!!’ as the baby grows up

Hunk

  • make sure he’s sitting down before you tell him
  • Is so shock he doesn’t speak for a good minute
  • Then you GET A GAINT BEAR HUG AND HE’S LAUGHING AND CRYING
  • Admits that since he’s been on dangerous missions he’s kinda worried he’ll never get to do the things he wants to do in the future like become the world’s best mechanic, buy a house for his parents and grandparents, win the Nobel peace prize, start a family…
  • The situation may not be ideal but asks you if you would bear his kid and be his wife and family
  • IS EXCITED TO BE A DAD
  • Feels like the kid will have a great childhood at the castle (as long as it doesn’t get attacked again)
  • Is even more motivated to stop zarkon
  • WILL NOT LET YOU ANYWHERE NEAR DANGER
  • basically over protective papa bear
  • Likes to think about what kind of kids you’ll have. Like a sweet mellow kid or hyperactive munchkin
  • Likes late night conversations between all three of you when it’s still in your stomach
  • Sets up the crib in your guys room
  • Is actively helping with the birth THERE IS NO TIME TO SQUEAMISH
  • too late, he passed out when he saw the other gunk that comes out of there during childbirth
  • You guys are both in the medical care room on two different beds with a tiny baby incubator between you two
  • IS THE CUTEST BABY EVER AND YOU CANT PROVE TO HIM OTHERWISE
  • wants to name it after something special like if allura help in delivery he’ll want to name her after the altean princess. If it’s a boy he’ll want to think to name him something awesome as long as it has a meaning to it
  • “SUPPORT THE HEAD” is his new catch phrase

you know what? I’ll add pidge too since this isnt a sin post

Pidge

  • WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE PREGNANT YOU GUYS NEVER HAD SEX
  •  SHE’S TOO YOUNG
  • When you explain that your species is self-pregnating race that sometimes take genetic material from partners through hand holding (or French kissing) she’s doesn’t know how to feel other than confused
  • Calls gloves hand condoms now
  • Doesn’t want to parent a kid, she loves you but she’s still a kid herself
  • Doesn’t really talk about the pregnancy unless you force her to
  • Doesnt really know how to feel I mean it could be hers too (genetically) or maybe just another copy of you
  • Kinda avoids you for a while but she feels guilty for doing so
  • Then she starts to help you out with the things get harder to do since you’re pregnant
  • In the end, she really does love you and stays by your side for the rest of the pregnancy
  • Waits outside during delivery. Your screams are NOT comforting
  • Afterwards THIS BABY IS CHUBBY AND GROSS AND ADORABLE
  • DUBS THIS CHILD HER SIDEKICK
  • pidge is looking at everyone like LOOK SHE HAS MY NOSE
  • Still doesn’t know much about being a parent so you have to do the heavy lifting until pidge is at least 18 but dont worry she is in love with the tiny thing and would often put the baby in her lap when working (AS LONG AS ITS ASLEEP SO IT DOESNT TOUCH ANYTHING)
  • Doesn’t name it at birth but but does nickname it pidge 2.0

anonymous asked:

Ooooo so happy you’re accepting again! Can I get a headcannon for Kakashi, Itachi, Neji and Lee finding out their s/o can’t have a baby? Would they consider adoption? Maybe turn to Tsunade to maybe figure something out?

okay i made a post last week about how this hits home for me, and im gonna tell yall why.

I have a medical condition called endometriosis. Basically what it is, is that the lining of my uterus (the endometrial tissue) grows outside of my uterus, making my life horrible. Even if I’m not on my period I’m in immense pain. Along with the pain, most women with this condition find sex to be too painful (and im really gonna go in w yall, i cant even wear tampons or have someone finger me its too fucking painful, i cry every time, although this aint gonna stop my pursuit of the dick so yah know.) and along with that, 2/3 of women with this condition have problems conceiving a child. Currently, I am on birth control which acts as hormonal therapy, so my symptoms are managed now, but take it from me. I suffered in silence for years because I thought this is just how periods are. I would miss school and work and I would just lay in bed because sometimes even just sitting up put me way too much pain. But your period should never be so bad that you cannot continue daily life. If you’re having intense cramping, heavy bleeding or just really shitty periods, please talk to a health care professional. Sorry for this giant piece of word vomit on here. 

lets get to the request 

Kakashi

  • Kakashi feels saddened by this news, more for you than him. He knew how badly you wanted a baby, and now, that had been taken from you. 
  • You two listen to your options, but make no decision for now, you two need time to process. 
  • Kakashi doesn’t bring it up for sometime, until its late one night and you two are laying in bed talking, and then he asks. 
  • “Y/N, darling, I know we wanted our own child, and I know it hurts to think about, but I feel like we should discuss our options. I know there are plenty of war orphans that need adopting…” His voice trailed off, looking at you. 
  • “I, I’m still very upset about the news, but you are right. I still want a family, as long as you do, maybe we could look into adoption?” 
  • He supports you 100% of the way, no matter the reason for your infertility.

Itachi 

  • Itachi is concerned when he finds out with you in the doctors office. He immediately is squeezing your hand and pulling you into a hug. He knows how badly you wanted a baby. 
  • He doesn’t listen to the other options, because he is more worried about you. 
  • Itachi doesn’t bring the topic up to you, but he does tell his immediate family and very close friends so they don’t mention it. He knows you need your time and he respects that. 
  • But after almost a year, Itachi brings it up one day after sex. “Y/N, this may not be the best time to talk about this, but I think we should discuss it at least. I know how badly we both wanted a family, you slightly more so than me, but I just want you to know, that I will respect whatever decision you make.” 
  • “Right now, I just want to focus on us, and what we can do for your clan and our village. If in time I regain that want, no that need for a baby, your baby, we can discuss it then, but for now, lets just keep it to the two of us, yeah?” 
  • Itachi agrees and he admires that even in this time of your own personal hurting, you’re thinking of others. He knows that you’d be a great parent. 

Neji 

  • Not gonna lie, Neji may be more upset than his S/O. He always wanted to have his own mini me to train and raise. He also blames himself nonstop until you two get the news back that it is indeed a problem with you.
  • Neji does get information on the other options, and to him, surrogacy seems the best, but he does wait a few weeks to a couple of months to bring it up to you. 
  • “My love, I know we both still want a baby, and I’ve been thinking and looking into it for some time, and I think our best option is a surrogacy. It would still be our biological baby, and we’d still get the joy of feeling the baby move and sonograms.”
  • Y/N doesn’t give him an answer for some time, because really they need time to think it over and they want to look into all the options themselves. 
  • “Neji, I’ve been thinking, and I think you’re right, we could get a surrogate and still have our own family.” 
  • Neji cries on the low. He is so ready to have a family of his own, especially with Y/N. 

Lee

  • Lee is confused when he hears the news, so he asks the doctor to explain. Y/N is crying, and he is still a little confused. “I don’t get it, how can this happen, how can this be?” 
  • He hugs Y/N really tight in the office and cries with her. He knows how badly they wanted this. He knows that they need to make a decision, like he did after his injury. 
  • Lee doesn’t bring it up right away, he waits for two weeks before he decides to talk to you about it. In those two weeks he trained like crazy, to help cope. 
  • “Y/N, I know this is still a sensitive topic, but we should talk about the options. It’s important that we know what our decision is for when the time comes.” 
  • Y/N knows he’s right, so they do talk to him for some time. They decide to try Invetro-fertilization a few times. It’s pricey, and it does take it’s toll on Y/N. After all their attempts failed, they decide on adoption. 
  • Lee and Y/N, may never fully get over this, and it will always be a sensitive topic, but it made them a stronger couple. 

frog-and-toad-are-friends  asked:

If you were in charge of a new Silent Hill game, what would you do in terms of character backstory/motivation and monster design theme? CAVEAT: There has to be a monster with a Pyramid Head-like role and at least one monster with tits

*Cracks knuckles* I can do this. Actually…

…I will do it NINE TIMES.

#1) A famed biologist who lost a colleague on an expedition and took credit for their findings. Their version of the town is actually a sunny place overgrown with flowers. Instead of dreary, dirty color schemes this one would go for a “sickeningly vivid” psychedelic feel.

Pyramid Head expy: a gnarled, twisted humanoid, like a figure made of pale roots, whose face is nothing but a whirling cloud of bees.

Nurse expy: plant ladies whose huge, fleshy heads loosely resemble a buzzing, writhing wasp with its face buried in a meaty orchid, all part of their body.

#2) A fisherman whose carelessness and greed cost his whole crew. His Silent Hill is caked with coral and barnacle-like growths, and physics work as if everything is underwater.

Pyramid Head expy: a shambling heap of red seaweed with a blindingly lit porthole face, able to emerge from even a thin puddle of water.

Nurse expy: mermaid-like dolls with rusted hooks for tails and hands, and painted-on googly eyes. In other words, “fishing lures” for humans.

#3) Someone who commited murder while still only a small child who barely knew better. Their Silent Hill is a cartoonish playground where nothing is consistent in size.

Pyramid Head expy: a woman in a dress with impossibly long legs. In fact, every appearance would be shot so you never see this being above the waist - like a looming “adult” - but she’ll suck you into the air if she gets close enough.

Nurse expy: let’s go with headless barbie doll things, like they have that weird plastic knob a barbie’s head attaches to. They wouldn’t move like people, but like scurrying cockroaches on their backs.

#4) Someone who leaked private information to the internet that ruined someone else. Nudes? Maybe nobody wants to play a character that shitty so maybe they were like, an accomplice who didn’t know what they were helping do at the time? Their Silent Hill is covered in unnecessary blinking lights, buttons, circuitry and wiring almost like unchecked plant growth.

Pyramid Head expy: a robotic figure hanging puppet-like by cables, with a big computer monitor for a head. The whole thing actually looks obsolete, like it’s made out of that ugly off-yellow plastic from 70’s electronics. The screen constantly displays footage of abstract organic shapes writhing in and around each other like some sort of hideous, alien porn.

Nurse expy: also robot like, with outlandishly exaggerated figures and horrible, rubbery mouths on the ends of hoses, basically like someone built a sex robot who had no concept of the uncanny valley.

#5) The sole survivor of a wealthy and horribly corrupt, racist family. Not a bad person themselves, but guilty of hiding proof of their family’s deeds. Their Silent Hill is a mockery of upper class excess. Hideous gold trim and gaudy crystal shit everywhere. Winding marble architecture.

Pyramid Head expy: crap, crap, Evil Within already has a monster with a safe for a head. Uhhh…crap. Okay. How about a strangely proportioned figure dressed up in a fancy suit, and they’ve got an awful bird-like head. I don’t know why but I feel like bird monsters go well with a rich asshole theme.

Nurse expy: drawing from what I just said…harpy maids!

#6) A doctor who accepted a shitload of money to promote a quack cancer pill and perscribe it to patients. Yeah, this entire Silent Hill would be medical themed, but it still wouldn’t recycle the bubble nurses and it totally wouldn’t just be Awful Hospital the Video Game, I swear. The pill would have been derived from a mushroom, and his Silent Hill would be fungus-encrusted.

Pyramid Head expy: a moldy, dripping figure with a conical white mask, like a plague doctor. We can have two bird-faced ones, shut up! Mushrooms erupt visibly all around it, including on you if it gets close enough.

Nurse expy: fungus-encrusted female anatomical models, the kind where half the body shows off the muscles and organs.

#7) Someone who was complacent with animal abuse in some way, maybe the only person who had a chance to expose it but didn’t want to lose their job. Maybe they worked for a corrupt animal rights group that wound up selling “rescued” animals for scientific testing? Their Silent Hill has a whole lot of cage bars, monsters that are leashed in place (but still pretty dangerous, like chain chomps are in Mario games) and layers of hairy, matted filth.

Pyramid Head expy: a huge, shaggy black dog, almost just a heap of dirty fur, with one of those veterinary cones for a head. FOR a head, not on its head. Maybe a long tongue tries to pull you inside.

Nurse expy: like some of PETA’s grosser and more uncomfortable ad campaigns, the “sexy” humanoid monsters in this one could act like animals, and be crammed into little cages. Their limbs would still fit through enough to run around and maul you, though. Faces like fleshy animal masks? Maybe that’s too over the top.

#8) A news reporter who spun sensationalized lies for easy ratings, until an innocent person took their own life. Their Silent Hill has a media and eye motif; newspapers and magazines plastering walls and floors, eyeball imagery everywhere, etc.

Pyramid Head expy: a monstrous figure whose body is kind of shaped like a trenchcoat and whose head is like an old fashioned news camera. You slowly weaken and die as long as it can see you at all.

Nurse expy: formed from mis-matched, cut-up photos of magazine models, like walking collages. As you damage them they’ll lose parts and rearrange into less humanoid forms. Graphics-wise, maybe they’d use a billboarding effect, always facing the camera?

#9) Maybe this is not in good taste, but Downpour was about a guy in the prison system, so why not a Silent Hill where the protagonist is an abusive police officer? We could try Downpour’s prison theme over again the right way.

Pyramid Head expy: why settle for just one being? You could be pursued by a whole chain gang of indistinct humanoid entities, acting like one winding centipede-type creature. Maybe you never get the chance to even see where it ends.

Nurse expy: distortions of firing range training dummies, so riddled with holes that many hunks of them, including their faces, are completely gone.

I could probably just keep on going, too. Applying new themes to something is so easy. When Silent Hill II came out and all its monsters were faceless women and they turned out to have a very specific meaning, I assumed that was gonna be the thing for every Silent Hill, a new style, a new symbolic theme unique to the new protagonist. Instead they just repeated the same Silent Hill II style imagery with very LOOSE new metaphors, and it got super old, super fast.

Making all this shit up just now as I went along, for nothing but a tumblr reply, a lot of it might be really corny but I am 100% confident all of my ideas just now were better than Downpour. Not that that’s hard.

“Inexorably Drawn to You” or 3 things that strike me in the TFA novelisation - from a romance writer’s perspective.

Hey guys.

You know me. or maybe you don’t. I am Ellie, I’m a writer (fanfic, unpublished but eh…I’ve been doing this since I was fourteen, which is over ten years at this point - I am getting very old). And as you should know, I am first and foremost writing romance stories. 

In all my writing years, I’ve written countless romances, meet-cutes with super-fast infatuations, slow burns, friendship leading to interest, leading to sexy times, whathaveyou. I’ve also written enemies to lovers, a whole fucking lot

So I know a little bit about how to drop little hints very early on in the story that the animosity between the two people we are watching hate each other fervently are not going to do so forever.

If you work under that premise, you find multiple ways of establishing the fact that there is something simmering beneath all the hate and rivalry you’re exploring in the first act of your story. 

note: [usually a 3-acter in these circumstances: act 1: establish connection, fester some reciprocated loathing // act 2: turn the tables, things are changing, our heroes discover different sides to each other, maybe spend a long time reliant on each other and mostly alone (GO SEE the movie LEAP YEAR FUCKING HELL, go do it! It’s a prime example of enemies to lovers if I’ve ever seen one) // act 3: they own up to their feelings for each other, we get a kiss or a day or two of fluffy shit and then something happens that threatens to tear them apart again, something to overcome before they get their HEA]

So, this past weekend I’ve been in London (sitting at a Costa in St.Pancrass right now hehe) and went to Forbidden Planet to buy some Star Wars crap and instead read the Reylo-bits in the TFA novelisation by the shelf like a word-thief and I noticed 3 (three, THREE) literary tricks used in those scenes which I would have used just the same had that been my enemies-to-lovers-act-1-writing.

1. “This gives me no pleasure” - And all it entails.

Disclaimer: There is a part in this argument that many, many, many people on here will hate and will want to misconstrue, misunderstand and burn my house down for it. You will know it when it comes on and I implore you to PLEASE read my words of explanation and keep your pitchforks holstered, thank you.

Throughout all of Rey’s and Kylo’s interactions, Kylo doesn’t tire of saying how he does not want or wish to hurt Rey and that he wants her to comply so he won’t have to. He says “I will go as easily as I can” and “This gives me no pleasure” before he mind-probes her. 

If I was writing their scenes as a first act to what would later become an enemies-t-lovers-romance, I would lay the groundwork establishing a way back for both the characters in their being shitty assholes to each other. So we can all back paddle together later and understand why these carnal enemies are suddenly locking lips.

In more traditional stories you would give both enemies a reason to be shitty (example: “You’ve got mail” - this asshole corporation-greedbag is forcing my wonderfully lovely little bookshop off the market, I will be a colossal dick to him” while, and this is important, maintaining some boundaries, like: “I will be an ass to him but I won’t push him into oncoming traffic or, more realistically, here is the guy who I hate because he is destroying my livelihood but he’s having a really shitty day so I’m gonna lay off of him, because I’m not that much of a monster.

In terms of Reylo, this is Kylo, rehashing time and time again that he does not want to hurt her. That is something I, as a writer, would call to later. That this man never had any fun hurting this woman. That is the foundation on which the second act will be built on.

AND there is another hint pointing in that direction (the direction being: we need way back for Kylo, a reason why he can be forgiven) and that’s the frequent repetition of how Rey is hurting while he rummages through her brain.

I am not kidding here; every single time it’s mentioned that Rey is hurting from that its in some version of this:

“Rey strained under the pain OF RESISTING HIM”

“Rey tried TO KEEP HIM OUT SO BADLY IT HURT”

etc.

This is the dangerous ground I talked about in the disclaimer and I’m sure you can already see why. Because this reads, if you look at it with tumblr’s eyes, like duper obvious victim-blaming. 

“Rey was only in pain because she tried to fight it.”

Which is horrible, obviously, a terrible concept and a terrible thing to say: You only hurt because you were trying to fight it, had you let it happen, it wouldn’t have hurt. 

This, in the context of sexual violence, is fucking terrible and should not be a message communicated in a movie like Star Wars. 

BUT if we take off the tumblr goggles, and especially the ones that ant*s like to don when looking at Reylo and desexualise their interactions connected to the mind-probing, we will have to look at the intention behind those sentences and how they play together with the “I don’t want to hurt you”-postulations.

Because it’s just another way of showing: Kylo does not want to hurt her, truly and he wouldn’t if it was just him. Had Rey been placid, she wouldn’t have been in pain, had she let him get the information willingly, she wouldn’t have suffered. The pain derived from trying to lock him out of her head - Rey hurt herself trying to shut him out. 

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS SENTENCE OUTSIDE OF A SEXUAL/SEXUALLY VIOLENT CONTEXT! It is a form of violence but it is not sexual - or at least, I don’t think it was intended to be perceived or received as sexual. This might have happened and that might as well be another horrible thing - with coded sexual violence as a plot-device yadda yadda, that’s another post.

It comes out the same. 

Kylo did not want to hurt her, this is evidenced in both his words and actions and very, very deliberately written to reflect that.

2. “There is…something” - A lot of it.

This is a short point, because it’s very obvious. 

From memory, I can account at least three instances in their shared scenes where one or the other remarked about something ‘special’ about either the other person (Kylo about Rey) or the connection they seem to have (Rey & Kylo).

This is another thing I would do to establish that whatever is going on between our hateful heroes is going somewhere…what can I say…special.

3. “Drawn to – you” - aka Club-you-over-the-head-obvious

“…she felt herself inexorably drawn to– to–

‘You,’ she said. ‘You’re afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.’”

This is a direct quote from the book. Let’s look at it again, shall we?

“…she felt herself inexorably drawn to– to–

‘You,’ she said. ‘You’re afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.’”

And now read this and realise what part of the two sentences sticks with you. I’m pretty sure you will find it’s this:

Inexorably drawn to you

INEXORABLY DRAWN TO YOU

This is deliberate. Do you know why? Because the ‘you’ is purposefully added right after the ‘to–’ so it serves as a completion of the unfinished sentence and then is set apart by the rest of the sentence by the interjection of ‘she said’. 

Had this not been intentional, the scene could or should have read:

“…she felt herself inexorably drawn to– to–

“You are afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader,” she said.”

This would illustrate that she has been drawn to this piece of information just fine and it would have disrupted the previously started sentence like only a new piece of information can disrupt a train of thought. 

But the way it is written, it is not a disruption of a thought, it’s its completion. It’s a ploy. It’s foreshadowing. It’s a hint.

It’s exactly what I would do if I was writing this and that’s because I’ve seen it done a million times. It’s because I then went on to use it myself.

It’s why I was standing by the book shelf at Forbidden Planet and made a face at that damn book because FUCK YOU. I see what you are doing, I see what is happening, I see the groundwork you’re laying there.

No matter what will happen with Kylo and Rey, no matter what plans are final, their scenes in the novel and thus in the original script are setting up an enemies-to-lovers or at least keeping the door for it wide open and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, because it’s already been done.

It’s already in motion. Do with this what you will.

Notes From a Lefthander: Demons and Darklings

So. You has teh dark spirit. A demon, even, perhaps. Here’s some a basic walkthrough I use:

1. Is there literally any other explanation that consistently holds up?

Some of us will flip out the moment a negative energy appears in our space. I’ve done it, you’ve done it, everyone’s done it.

Possible explanations:

❇ You are having a (run/couple of) shitty day(s)

❇ You need to cleanse

❇ Someone negative came in your space

❇ Someone is thinking negatively about you

❇ The winds of assholery are strong today, and the negativity followed you home

❇ There’s a hole in your wards

❇ You have no wards

❇ You haven’t eaten/taken your meds/slept/drank water/showered/other self care as indicated

❇ You need to see a professional (no hate, i’m clinically paranoid, i feel ya)

❇ Random coincidence overlaid with pattern seeking

❇ Literally question everything

Done? P sure still gotta dark thing? Kk. Onwards.

2. Do you want to make a friend?

Demons can be malicious, sure, but so can gods, random unaligned spirits, the Fey, the elements, ghosts, etc. and so on forever, amen.

On the other hand, a demon is easy to feed, eager for attention, may or may not be willing to trade power/knowledge/favors, and doesn’t take up much space. They like to gossip, make good guard dogs, and i’ve yet to meet a demon without a sense of humor.

Darklings of other stripes may range from “annoying” to “attention seeking” to “I AM ANGERY BE ANGERY WITH ME” and so on. They too may be willing to trade, or may be just looking for someone to talk to, or hell, may just be a particularly strong echo that can be redirected.

The point is, trust nothing (because everything in the spirit world is a potential asshole until proven otherwise), but reach out. Everone’s always on about deity contacting you, the other team may be saying hello.

3. “Holy balls, are you nuts!? I don’t do dark shit/want a demon friend!” OR Nope, bastard’s malicious, needs to go bye bye.

Kek, so this mostly comes down to what you’re comfortable with, and what you want to achieve.

Simply Want To Be Left Alone?

❇ Mix up some mojo bags!

Things i like/use/have recommended to others:

Obsidian, hematite, moon stone, any shiny or unshiny rock that makes you feel safe, sage, little plastic toy soldiers, salt and pepper condiment packets, spicy condiment packets, batteries, tacks, nails, mirrors, river stones with sigils on them, sigils in general, that one Seal of Solomon that controls demons, the Hand of Fatima, a token of your deity, a miniature tarot card (the Page of Swords, King of Swords, Strength, Chariot, 9 of Wands, 9 of Cups, 8 of Cups, 4 of Cups, literally any card that speaks to you), essential oils bottles (not an herbalist, sorry), etc.

❇ Anoint your house! Use whatever flavor of holy water/holy oil you like!

❇ Salt the premises!

❇ Smudging sometimes works

❇ Politely ask it to leave you alone (hey, it works sometimes)

❇ Ask a deity for assistance

Want It To Actually Go TF Away?

❇ Banish its ass! I’m personally partial to Catholic excorcism, but I have also done the classic “make a shit ton of noise while focusing on telling it to go away” method, aka Banging Two Pans Together While Shouting. (I have done this in an apartment, 0/10 do not recommend.)

❇ Bind its ass! There’s a shit ton of binding spells. Pick one. I like sigils wrapped in ribbon or sealed in an envelope and buried.

❇ Bomb the Joint! Ok, so: get a focus item. Charge the focus item. Release ALL THE CHARGE AT ONCE omnidirectionally. Takes me about a months to make a boomy thing, but i don’t have a lot of mojo to work with.

Bonus: get a deity to help charge it if that’s your thing.

Bonus Secundus: bless it for that added kick

Bonus The Third: curse it if you’re a bitch like i am.

Feeling Vicious And Wish To Fuck Shit Up?

❇ Trap the fucker! The kindest of the nasty, simply build a trap and suck that shit up. An Origami cube (on mobile, can’t link, Google is your friend) with a baiting sigil inside it (or even just a charged pentagram, or a shiny rock, or basically anything that looks like it might grant some modicum of power, or something charged with the energy it eats, etc.) and a simple circle around the opening to keep it inside works wonders.

Also fun: genie bottles, cursed objects, music boxes, any other trap that has ever worked is worth a try. Hell, trick the little turd into a metal circle that’s superglued into a wooden box.

Bonus, if you’re mean: free battery!

❇ Destroy the fucker! Got it in a genie bottle? Drown it in holy water! Origami box? Set it on fire! Trapped it in a ring? Salt the ring and smudge without releasing it! Curse a tealight to hold it and burn the tealight. Cursed an object? Annoint and cleanse!

❇ Stake the fucker out! Ok, so we’re into a level of vindictive that’s delightful to me. Easiest way is to trap it and bury it somewhere as a warning to others that You Are Not To Be Trifled With.

But…if you’re feeling really extra…

Get a large metal spike. Railroad spike or tent spike. Bind the thing to it.

(Put a symbol/spell/sigil/the things name if you know it/anything you can use to symbolize the thing around the spike. Wrap it to the spike with ribbon. Profit.)

Plant it in your front yard so everything that wanders by your house can see it trapped, being used as a spiritual lawn ornament.

Anywho, that’s how i deal with dark shit. Have fun, kiddos, and remember, always regift your cursed items responsibly!

When Xmas Cavs Grow Up

Just to get all my thoughts in one place, especially as a) I haven’t talked about Seth & Orson in a long time and b) FE15 happened.

One of the (cough) archetypical hallmarks of Fire Emblem casts is the “Cain and Abel,” meaning not murderous siblings but a pair of matched knights who are friends or friendly rivals. One wears red and one wears green, one is loud and the other is quiet, one is serious and the other is fun-loving, often one whacks things with a sword while the other spears things with a lance. It’s a consistent enough trope to get its own page (70) in the 20th anniversary artbook.

But what happens when these bright young things grow up? Well, a couple of FE games have given us a glimpse of it.

Spoilers for Archanea, Jugdral, Magvel, and Valentia follow.

Archanea: Cain and Abel

“I work with a knight called Abel. I tend to get carried away, but he balances me out with his calmness.”

“When there are two precious things in your life… you must choose between them.

So, during the War of Heroes (FE3 Book II/FE12), Cain and Abel aren’t “the Cain & Abel” anymore. A new pair of trainee knights, “rowdy” Luke and “steady” Roderick, fill those roles with Roderick’s love interest Cecil rounding them out as a trio of cavaliers. So what’s become of the OG Christmas Cavs?

Yeah, OK, I think everyone here knows this story. If you don’t, FE Heroes gives you the Cliff’s Notes versions. Cain stayed at Marth’s side, trained a new crop of knights, and per FE3 Book II was trusted enough to help govern Altea when Marth went on missions elsewhere, and became Marth’s advisor after Jagen’s iron bones finally rusted out. Cain’s loud, he likes training, he’s nicknamed The Bull, he’s basically got no life outside of serving Marth.

Meanwhile Abel, the suave Panther to Cain’s Bull, retired, got married, opened a shop, and got dragged back into the war when his wife Est got held hostage by the bad guys, betrayed Marth, got forgiven for it, and then disappears forever after the war, chasing after an equally forever-disappeared Est. We know he and Cain are BFFs because Fire Emblem lore consistently tells us they’re friends, not because they actually have any scenes together or anything. They’ve been imitated, echoed, expied, et cetera.

Cain joins the party in FE12 as an unpromoted Level 9 cavalier, Abel joins many chapters later as a Level 1 paladin. (Don’t ask me how he got that promotion.)

Highlight: You get a better sense of Cain&Abel’s eternal legend from their expies Sully and Stahl in FE13 than you do from the originals.

Jugdral: Glade and Finn

“Glade, this is just the beginning. We still have a long way ahead of us.”

“Yes, we must return to Lenster and restore the flag of the Gae Bolg… That’s when we can finally have a drink together again.”

Archetypes weren’t really a thing during the SNES era but there were definitely call-backs even in the first five installments and FE5 had more than a few callbacks to FE3 specifically (hi, Asvel! Hi, Shannam!). Enter our next pair of veteran BFFs. If you only know Glade as the punchline to the Choose Your Heroes poll them I recommend reading this on Reddit as a primer.

Glade fits into what’s generally seen as the “Cain” archetype– maybe not as naturally talented as his BFF but known for his hard work and enthusiasm. He’s outspoken enough to criticize allies– even (allegedly) royal allies– who are letting down the cause and he’s openly affectionate with his wife Selphina. Life in the resistance has been hard and he’s accumulated a lot of regrets but he’s still in there trying. Finn is the more introverted of the pair, less willing to go on the record about his opinions, less able to demonstrate affection– which impacted his relationship with his own MIA apparent-love-interest Lachesis and is contributing to a strained relationship with his daughter Nanna. His sole passion, if it counts as one, appears to be geopolitical. “Another Abel with the same shitty taste in women,” one member of the FE Subreddit called him in a thread where passions were running high, and while that phrasing isn’t really fair to anyone involved, the underlying connection is legit IMO, though maybe not in the way that poster thought.

Glade and Finn aren’t polar opposites so much as they are variations on a theme (they even use the same weapon), in large part because Glade appears to be Finn’s deliberate foil, spun off to do the exact things FE4!Finn was doing that didn’t gel with where his FE5!characterization was taking him. They’re both loyal, patriotic, and so forth, and they’ve both suffered hardship for the cause of Prince Leif and Leonster, but whatever stroke of fate let Finn catch Prince Quan’s favor when they were kids while Glade stayed behind in Leonster has put a gap between them that friendship can’t bridge 100%. Glade’s doing his job and accumulating worldly success, Finn’s on a crusade that entails high personal sacrifice. Glade’s got his regrets, Finn’s outright broken inside. Glade’s a leader; Finn’s a hero. Glade makes history; Finn becomes a legend.

Unlike Cain & Abel they have actual in-game dialogue, plus the Leonster’s Fall short story in the Thracia artbook to give a sense of who they were as young knights before everything went to utter shit. There’s a lot of emotional build-up to their mid-battle reunion, which itself isn’t that emotional a scene but does include the “we’ll have a drink later” line that seemingly evokes the dialogue between Sigurd and Eldigan early in FE4. Given how that friendship played out, this would seem ominous… but, as it happens, fate has pretty much done its worst to these two already. There’s no betrayal, no falling out. After the war Glade enjoys his hot wife and promotion and makes New Thracia into an efficient and modern war machine. Finn disappears into the desert for three years because Reasons but he does come back. Remake plz?

Finn’s in Leif’s starting party as a Level 7 unpromoted unit, Glade joins in Ch13 as a Level 2 promoted unit.

Highlight: In spite of all the ways in which Jugdral is hell this is the only world in which our Veteran Cav BFFs might have the chance to continue their friendship later in life.

Magvel: Seth and Orson

“If Orson can turn his back on Renais… We remaining knights will have to work all the harder to prove ourselves!”

“You’re an impressive knight, Seth. You would sacrifice your life for king and country. Not even a moment’s pause. It’s a pitiful, unrewarding life, through and through.”

One of my contentions about FE8 has always been that, despite the mechanical similarities to FE2 (dual lords, monsters, etc) that the plot was a reworking of the War of Heroes, with more emphasis on character development and far less on the overall heroic myth. Given the shit that dedicated knights go through for their Lords, it was only a matter of time before we got to see what happened when somebody actually snapped. Abel betrayed Marth and all but he didn’t mean to, and Marth forgave him, and he’s just kind of an incoherent mess (see: FE Heroes) thereafter of his loyalty and his love for Est and his regrets for his treason. Finn breaks inside but keeps going on his impossible path despite a wasteland of collateral damage (including Glade at one point) around him and stakes that rise from “stay alive” to “reclaim Leonster” to “unify all Thracia” to “liberate entire continent from Dark Lord” because well, that’s what he does. Either way, they lose the girl (to say the least). Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 

Enter Orson, who looks at this particular bad deal being offered and says “to hell with that.”

So Orson and Seth are knights of Renais. Orson seems to be the older of the two. He’s got a quiet and serene personality (so, he’s the Abel) and he’s got a wife named Monica. Seth is the commander of the Knights of Renais, is renowned as The Silver Knight, has the other young knights looking up to him. He’s not boisterous like some of the Cain-types but he’s got the red hair, the training-freak personality (see: FE Heroes), and so on. Seth in typical Cain fashion doesn’t have a ladyfriend… yet. Hold that thought.

Long story short, Orson doesn’t betray Renais because Monica’s being held as a hostage. He betrays Renais because Monica’s already dead and in the grave six months and Grado’s dark powers offer her back in some horrible fashion. He sells out his country to enjoy alone time with the ghastly puppet of his wife, and when Seth finally confronts him mid-game Orson’s just sane enough to offer a concise and brutal takedown of the whole knighthood thing. And this hits Seth hard, because Seth’s been keeping his own secrets– specifically, his improper feelings for his liege lady princess Eirika– and FE8′s story is an entire gallery of bad examples of what twisted love can do to a person. Orson, Carlyle, Lyon himself– this roll call of the mad and the damned is what’s held up to Seth as his fate should he give into his heart: “there but for the grace of god(s) go I.”

But Magvel is surprisingly kind to Seth, offering him a happy ending with Eirika in spite of his own protests or a union with the lovely priestess Natasha. Orson gets a dirt nap in the company of what’s left of Monica.

Seth joins at the start as a Level 1 Paladin, Orson joins in Ephraim’s first chapter as a Level 3 Paladin before turning his colors.

Highlight: This is the only case in which the Veteran Cavs are not in some sense a retcon onto the source material.

Valentia: Clive and Fernand

“Enough, Fernand. You’ve suffered enough. You needn’t flog yourself any further.”

“Good… I am…rather tired. Tired of despair… Tired of rage… But Clive…I’m glad I got to see you one last time.”

FE2 didn’t have anything mapping to the "Cain & Abel” Xmas Cav archetype because it wasn’t an archetype yet and definitely didn’t have any take on the adult version thereof. FE15, besides retconning Forsyth into the ambitious Green Knight to the stolid Red Knight played by Lukas, plum invented an entire “veteran cav BFFs” tragic subplot for us to enjoy. Nice.

So on the one hand we have Clive. Clive’s the leader of the rebel group known as the Deliverance, has impeccable breeding and a glowing reputation, a sizable chunk of the playable cast has the hots for him, etc. He’s got a canon love interest, the glamorous paladin Mathilda, so you might expect based on the above that the plot-gods are about to take a wrecking ball to Clive’s life.

Except Clive also has a BFF and his BFF has problems. Orson at least has the pretense of being on the lords’ side before Seth unmasks him as a traitor. Fernand’s a prick from the moment he shows up on screen and promptly flounces from the Deliverance all in a froth over being led by a “farmboy” like Alm and lends his services (such as they are) to Rigel’s Lord Berkut. There’s also a hint that Fernand is actually into Mathilda himself (oh noes), but the entire Deliverance scene is rife with homoerotic subtext[*] and Fernand’s got a pretty bad case of it. Since Clive still cares a lot about his BFF we then have to make the attempt to redeem Fernand, which of course fails, so this particular version of the veteran cav subplot ends with a big dramatic death scene with a CG and lots of ellipses and everything. 

Their whole subplot is wrapped up in an interesting if maybe not entirely successful take on what knights exactly are for– what kind of ruler is a legitimate ruler? How is that ruler best served? Unlike all of the previous examples, Clive and Fernand started their careers as knights sworn to a shitty, useless, negligent king, one whose bloodline was apparently extinct by the start of the game. There’s never any question that Cain serves Marth, that Glade and Finn serve Leif, that Seth serves the twins of Renais. If Abel and Orson waver it’s not because Marth or the twins are not the right lords to serve, but because Abel and Orson have personal weaknesses. But Clive and Fernand both have to make an actual conscious choice as to whom they are going to serve, and Clive makes the right choice (with a lot of second-guessing along the way) and Fernand doesn’t, the end.

Clive joins as a Level 6 cavalier; Fernand is not playable in the main game.

Highlight: These guys get their own prequel in the Rise of the Deliverance DLC, wherein Fernand is playable .

* Xmas Cavs and their grown-up equivalents generally do have some measure of that goin’ on (Seth and Orson being an exception), but the Deliverance is pretty hard to overlook.

possibly the start of a fic???

hi I wrote this thing very late at night (or very early morning???) It starts off shitty and dramatic but it actually has a plot. 

I only put a little but up for you to see so you can read the rest under the cut.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Keith has never been in love. 


He thought he was, at one point.  The head-over-heels kind, in fact. The first love kind. The reckless kind.

Love, he learned, was not where you give every part of your heart or soul to your loved one. It was not where you put everything on the line for the other person, uncaring about the repercussions. It wasn’t the warm, tingly feeling you get when you look at the person you gave your entire life for. That feeling of being on top of the world when you hold their hand or kiss their cheek in public.

It certainly wasn’t what they show in the movies.

And so, Keith, at the tender age of eighteen, got his heart broken so far into oblivion that he lost a part of himself in the process. 

Keep reading

A FEMINIST ANALYSIS/CRITIQUE OF PHANTOM OF THE OPERA:
The truly unfortunate thing about the Phantom of the Opera is that despite its potential for a being a feminist story (since it features a female protagonist like fuck yeah), it fails absolutely miserably by making her what I am dubbing a false protagonist. Christine is
1) clueless and delusional
2) childlike and thus easy to discredit
3) fetishized and objectified because of her talent
4) reckless and thus in need of “protection.”
Though the story is told through Christine’s perspective, she has no agency or capacity to change her own fate – the end of the story is in the hands of everyone else.

Let’s start with this intense need for everyone to protect her. From Raul to Meg to the Phantom in a really fucked up way (in that he feels he is the ONLY one who can truly protect her and will thwart everyone else’s attempts even if it means hurting her in the process), no one in Christine’s life sees her as having any control or capability to make good decisions. Instead of working with her to make choices that will benefit her physically and emotionally, they focus on keeping her rooted in place as a dancer, singer, lover, best friend – whatever makes them feel more comfortable, with complete disregard for what Christine wants.

This includes the Phantom of course. To him, Christine is a fantasy devoid of any human characteristics except for the ones which directly pertain to loving him. Keep in mind that the only time he becomes angry with her is in the small moments where she actually just wants to do HER OWN FUCKING THING. But also, the other people in her life might not feel the need to protect her if she didn’t feel such a reckless desire to throw herself into the hands of maniacs in the first place.

Let’s move on to my least favorite part of all this fuckery: the daddy issues (dun dun DUN). Christine’s desire to be with phantom starts out as something totally innocent-appearing: she misses her father. It’s cute right? Kinda sweet. But when she thoughtlessly follows a ghost into the unknown catacombs of the opera house without a thought we have to question the health of that relationship. Then, when she demonstrates undeniable sexual attraction for this father-ghost-person we have to REALLY question that relationship.

Ah there they are – the “daddy issues” (henceforth to be known as DIs). DIs are the media’s absolute favorite way to discredit a female character. Not only does her emotional attachment to a parental figure make her seem somewhat pathetic and incapable of letting go, but we automatically attach to her the quality of being childlike: the downfall of so many high-potential women in literature.

So what happens when we see Christine as childlike? Not only does it add another level of creepy fetishization to the Phantom’s attraction to her, but it gives absolutely every other person in her life a seemingly-legitimate reason to disregard her desires, emotions, and actions. Suddenly they have an excuse to want to protect her – she is a child, thus not a complete person, and thus incapable of choosing her own fate.

This “not a complete person” crap shows up in other ways of course. Christine is highly valued in the opera house for her performance abilities and her beauty. But….that’s it. Labeling Christine as an amazing singer makes it that much easier to let the label of “human being” fall by the wayside. Here of course is the root of the problem: objectification. By viewing Christine as an incomplete person, or not really a person at all for that matter, suddenly everyone in her life feels justified in the shitty things they do to her. “Of course we need to control her: she’s not a real person.” “Of course I need to protect her: she’s not a real person.” “Of course she must be mine: she’s only a thing after all. Not a real person.”

Christine could take so much awesome control over her own life. “You can’t treat me that way just because I work for you.” “I’m not going to follow you down there that’s weird.” “Put your sword away asshole I got this.” “Let us go, this is fucked up and you’ve got some issues to work out.” But she doesn’t. SHE DOESN’T. She allows all of the shitty things that happen to her to just happen and let’s everyone else do the saving. Even at the end of the musical, how does she convince the Phantom to let them go? She kisses him. She shows the broken man how broken he is the only way a woman can: by loving him (uuuugh).

Maybe Christine somehow feels she deserves all of these awful things in her life. I mean the story was written in France in the 1800’s so the author probably DID believe women deserved all this shit for feeling desire because yoooo misogyny. Let’s punish women for feeling sexual desire – haha CLASSIC male authors.
Nevertheless, Christine has no agency, no critical thought process, and no belief in herself, and that is not the kind of female protagonist I want in my life.

anonymous asked:

Hello this is not related to anything but would you like to talk about jack/shitty relationship.. doesn't matter what I love them and your fic of them is so great it's my cannon now I had never thought of it but I now I believe. You don't have to but i would love. Thanks :D

ANON. LISTEN. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ASK. 

im a capital s Sucker for best friend ships & jackshitty is like the best best friend ship in the hockey comic besides jp which i also love but is decidedly tragic. theyre best friends that toe that line between friendship & romance which i also love, & i also ALSO love that they probably have this like physical & emotional closeness for the rest of their lives even after they arent sleeping together

because man jack??? his freshman year??? is not in a good place & is probably not acting like a great person, he absolutely has his reasons & im not blaming him but his freshman year is ROUGH he doesn’t really want to be there he’s probably pretty mean, pretty standoffish, cold & frustrating to be around, completely not living up to anyone’s guess about what canada’s ex-prodigal son would be like. tbh if i were to go back & edit ‘no distance’ i’d make jack MEANER. he’s got the capability to be nasty & he hasn’t had anyone warm him up yet right he’s so nasty to bits his junior year & thats after three years of having shitty hanging all over him 

anyway, then there’s shitty who is kind of a mess like on the other end of the spectrum, tbh he’s also a character people tend to make pretty one-dimensional in a lot of ways that kind of bums me out. freshman year shitty is probably pretty wild, all over the place, getting into trouble & being a little disrespectful of people’s boundaries & acting kind of sanctimonious. he’s also a mess, right? he’s just had this huge fallout with his dad, he’s probably on this mission to show his family what-for and if that means dropping acid and getting stuck up a tree at 3 am in the snow then so be it. he’s probably obnoxious. if jack is meaner his freshman year shitty’s 300% more annoying. also sidenote but shitty’s bipolar i kinda hit on that in the fic but i’ll die by it. 

& i think they’re good for each other respectively, you know? like shitty is all outward in a way that’s excessive, he’s constantly shouting about his opinions bemoaning his problems, he’s up in other people’s space, he’s flinging his own shit around & doing his best to smoke it out, versus jack who internalizes everything, keeps a tight tight lid on his feelings unless he’s really angry, doesn’t discuss things, doesn’t want to connect with people. they teach each other a lot i think, shitty learns how to listen, to respect space, to have some self control, & jack finds someone that he can connect to right, someone who shows him first-hand that throwing it all out there isn’t going to be the end of the world & that letting people in can be good.

(i like. honestly believe that jack wouldnt be in any kind of position to want to be with bitty or be friends w the team the way he is if he hadnt been befriended by shitty, like it has a huge impact on how his years at samwell go)

anyway this stuff isnt even necessarily romantic like its fact even if you dont think they hooked up but they definitely DID hook up & let me tell u the little jackshitty blurb in huddle 1 was literally the best day of my life i wept real tears & screamed ‘HE’S BI’ to cait over gchat for like 2 hours (business as usual i guess but). 

also the fact that shitty starts leaping to jack’s defense his freshman/sophomore year like it’s his job also gets me right where it hurts, like people are probably pretty awful to jack & he definitely doesn’t go out of his way to make it any better or to make himself liked in any way, & he probably resigns himself to the idea that ‘well they dont have to like me they just need to play hockey with me’ but. then here’s shitty probably getting himself socked in the eye for saying something scathing to someone at a party for ragging on jack & maybe it’s because (as shitty cheerfully tells him later as he’s grinning at jack and using his own t-shirt to stop his bloody nose) that shitty’s got danger-seeking tendencies or some shit. but he’s also someone who’s jumping to jack’s defense in spite of everything, and that hasn’t really happened to him since the draft (he doesn’t feel like he deserves it but shitty does it anyway).

idk man this got really long i can keep ranting abt jack & shitty & mental health, or doing the do, or WHATEVER but the point is that i love their weird bizarre unlikely friendship s much that i want to eat it. thanks for giving me the opportunity to rant anon