it won't end as terribly as last year

anonymous asked:

So last year, my best friend of 8 years ended us after a few months of me having random depression if I couldn't be around him. Over time, I've realized how much I was hurting him with emotional abuse and I feel so terrible about it. But I know he won't ever let me in his life again and I agree with that. So I just need to know, How can I forgive myself for abusing someone I love?

Hey Nonnie, I have a friend who went through a very similar situation, so I asked for their advice on your behalf. They wrote: 

Acknowledging that you made a mistake is important, but also be kind to yourself. Recognize what you did wrong, and learn from it. Know that your friend doesn’t owe you anything, but also know that – although you aren’t absolved of responsibility, you were/are mentally ill. 

I truly believe that the thing that separates you from a ‘bad person’ is that looking back, you recognize that what you did was bad. Another thing that makes you a ‘good person’, is the fact that you’re actively seeking a way to resolve this situation. 

Now, you can’t change the past, but what you can do is decide how you approach the consequences of your past actions. Reach out to your friend if you haven’t already. Apologize to them a final time. That’s all you can really do – try to fix your wrongdoings, but give your friend space if that’s what they need from you right now. Then you can rest, knowing that you’ve done all that you can. You can work to forgive yourself in the knowledge that here, now, you’ve done all the right things. You’ve changed, and you will do everything in your power to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. 

I really hope this is helpful, Anon. If there’s anything else that I can do for you, know that my askbox is always open. 

anonymous asked:

Is it terrible that if Beth isn't brought back as alive I feel like I'm always going to have a piece of me missing? It sounds insane but this show, that arc, meant a lot to me. To develop a character, make us care, & never finish it is unfair to viewers. Unfair & too soon deaths happen all the time in real life - my sister died at 27 last year - but story telling is supposed to be a get away from the real world, a time when it's ok to hope because the end won't come until the story is completed.

First, I want to apologize for not answering this right away. I saw it late last night and wanted to give it my full attention, not something rambling because I’m half asleep.

Second, I’m sorry about your sister. My deepest condolences to you and your family. That has to be so hard. I cannot imagine.

And finally on to the actual question. No, it’s not wrong to feel that way, especially given your own personal loss. If Beth never comes back, I feel like I will never enjoy this show in the same way again. You are right when you say that tragic deaths happen too soon all the time in real life, but this isn’t real life, it’s fiction. And as you said, fiction is supposed to be an escape from real life.

We know that on a show about the zombie apocalypse that people will deaths. There have been some heartbreaking deaths on this show. Prior to “Coda,” I had found Lori and Hershel’s deaths to be the most heartbreaking. But, the difference between those deaths and Beth’s is that they were heartbreaking, but they had some form of closure or a satisfying end. Lori got to say goodbye to Carl and died bringing Judith into the world, probably the ultimate sacrifice a mother can make. Hershel’s was tough, but there was a sense of closure. He knelt there and watched as Rick “came back,” so to speak, something he had been working so hard towards.

I’d like to remind everyone of something. Andrea’s death, it was kind of a mess. It was touching that she got her final goodbyes with Rick, Daryl, and Michonne, but did you know that it was originally written and shot without those characters present. I believe Tyreese found her, but when AMC fired Mazzara as show runner, they gave Gimple the green light to rewrite and reshoot her death.

Do you understand what this means? AMC and Gimple recognize when a death is unsatisfying, when it’s done in a way that doesn’t honor the character. And we are supposed to believe that they are okay with how Beth’s death was done? If she had gotten a real reunion with the group, with Daryl, with Maggie, even with Judith, it would be a lot more believable. And this whole idea that it was done without a big reunion or goodbyes to illustrate the point that you don’t always get those things in real life is such bullshit. First of all, this isn’t really life, it’s fiction, and there has to be a certain level of trust between the writers and the viewers. Also, they haven’t played to this idea. There has been no mention by the characters most affected by her death of how they wish they got one more minute with her or a chance to say goodbye. If she really died for that reason, they’d be beating us over the head with the head with that sentiment.

Sorry, this got away from me. It’s just this idea that tragic endings happen all the time in real life is not a justification for the mess that is “Coda.”

Tagging for mobile: Team delusional, Jenn rambles